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Interview with Sugimoto Keiji

Published in the hide BIBLE (by Akemi Oshima) 2008

Note: Sugimoto Keiji is the managing director of Backstage Project, who have been involved in the concert production of X since their amateur days.

Note 2: For this interview I am falling back on the “summary” format I have used for all the long interviews so far. Again, much of it is still a rather direct translation.

Note 3: I once again use names and honorifics or lack thereof as used by the people talking.

Sugimoto-san, what was the first meeting between you and HIDE-san?

Did he meet Saver Tiger or X first? It’s been over 20 years, Sugimoto doesn’t remember it all that well. But he probably worked with X when it was only TOSHI and YOSHIKI. Pretty long ago.

What was your impression of Saver Tiger?

He remembers them holding a concert together with Ba-Rra, the band KYO-chan [Note: vocalist, later joined Saver Tiger, best known through D’erlanger] was in. A rock’n’roll band. Today’s visual-kei doesn’t have a lot of rock elements in it, but Saver Tiger was a rock and visual band. So was X. V-Kei were originally hard rock bands that incorporated fashion in order to express themselves.

When did you see X for the first time?

At the live house Urawa Narciss, where they preformed in front of 4 or 5 people. TOSHI was breathing fire and set the ceiling on fire (laughs). Sugimoto had only just started the Backstage Project and wanted to promote artists, so he approached them as potential customers. There were other bands like Red Warriors, but Sugimoto was looking for a band he could work with from the start. Their performance was split into two parts. They got exhausted, took a break, came back. A strange band.

It’s amazing that they could have two parts with only 4 or 5 people in the audience (laughs).

But it was a great concert. Sugimoto had never seen anything like that before. They didn’t advertise it well, though, so he wasn’t sure if it was a live show or a rehearsal.

Did you consider working with them?

At once. X were still amateurs, just like Backstage Project, but Sugimoto’s company can’t be mentioned without bringing up X. There aren’t many people who have worked with them from start to finish. Nor were there many bands Sugimoto was able to be involved with beginning to end.

What was your impression when you first met HIDE-san?

Sugimoto thinks that was when he saw X perform at Live Sation, Rokumeikan, or a live house in Yokohama. He thought HIDE was an amazingly expressive musician. At that time, all the members of X were strong characters, but among them HIDE stood out as fashionable, more like glam rock. YOSHIKI and TOSHI looked radical, but HIDE and TAIJI seemed influenced by bands like T-REX. TOSHI’s image was American, while that of HIDE and TAIJI was English. Add PATA to that and you get a band that gives the impression of 5 people of different influences gathering together.

Were you already doing your job at that time?

They were. They felt they had to do something for X eventually, and the first show they did with them was at Nakano Public Hall. They settled on a one-man show in a 900 seat cabaret hall that no longer exist and worked hard on promoting it. Since they didn’t have staff at that time, Sugimoto and YOSHIKI went to two different magazine publishers for that.

Did YOSHIKI-san go there himself?

At that time, everyone did, because there was no staff for such things. Sugimoto dealt with everyone himself, together with YOSHIKI. That sounds bigger than it was, mostly it was just sorting out dates. This concert at Nakano Public Hall was still memorable, since someone from SONY came to see them and it led to a contract with them.

That was in ‘88, right?

20 years ago (laughs). After making the contract, X was managed by something called “Staff Room Third” within SONY, but with them being a record company at its core, they didn’t really have that much know-how on production. Sugimoto only had experience organizing amateur concerts. So their goal was to work together as a collection of newbies and make a concert that the audience would enjoy. So working on it was easy, but they were facing a bunch of hardships.

What kind of concert was the Nakano Public Hall show?

The audience did the X-jump for the first time, but it was only 4 people jumping (laughs). While the venue had reserved seating, the first 4 rows could be removed for a standing audience, leading to an amazing show. As they became more professional, an increasing number of crazy things they used to do during their indies days, like breathing fire, were not allowed anymore, and it was Sugimoto who had to tell them when they wouldn’t be able to do something. They either listened to him or not. Fighting ensued. Great times. Probably won’t happen again.

Did they breathe fire in Nakano Public Hall?

They didn’t. They used special effects withing the limits set by the fire department. The last time they breathed fire was at Kyoto Sports Valley in September 1988. It was outdoors, so they could do whatever they wanted. What X wanted to do… from smashing the guitars to having 2 people breathe fire into an X-shape, they could do it all there. It was a turning point. Here they had to decide whether they wanted to remain an indies band or go major. They chose the latter and made the Tokyo Dome their goal.

Did you discuss your future plans with YOSHIKI-san and HIDE-san when you decided to work with them?

He did, but it wasn’t like business talk at a meeting table and more like bringing up that they wanted to do Budôkan next at an after party. They made things up as they went along – X was a classic rock band in that sense. Neither they nor Sugimoto worried too much about the details, that came later. In the beginning, they let the momentum carry them forward. They use the word “reckless” a lot, but that’s really what it was. The first 3 days of Tokyo Dome (5 – 7 January 1992) were decided in some hotel room in Hiroshima. They had done one day there in the previous summer and were now like, “Alright, let’s do three days next!” It was mostly like that.

What position did Backstage Project have at that time?

They were eventers, agents, responsible for stage production and bookings, everything.

When it comes to the concerts of X, you did everything, didn’t you?

That’s right. Later, the stage got bigger and they asked for more help, but in the beginning, they did it all with a team of 3 people. In Nakano, they even painted and built the set on their own.

Eh, you did even that?

They had no money, so everyone did things by hand.

It’s been said that at that time, even the costumes were handmade.

Probably true, since they were so broke. Thinking about it now, they were quite poor. They painted the drum set black the day before a show. Later, they had more people supporting them through their management, but until then, they did everything themselves.

What kind of impression did the HIDE-san of that time leave you with?

HIDE was an earnest, serious guy. He may have gone berserk when drunk at after parties, but Sugimoto has no memories of having a hard time with him. He was the one to shape a lot of X’s activities. When YOSHIKI and TOSHI took action, he would step back and calmly observe them. His position was not unlike that of a producer. Simply put, he was a very sensitive and earnest man, a cool guy – not emotionally cold but an awesome super-guitarist. Also quiet. Didn’t go outrageously over the top but could make a good performance out of what was there. Extremely creative, cool guy.

What were the directions regarding the stage?

There were plenty of directions once they started with the solo corners, but those were all in the later stages. Everyone came up with rough ideas, but hide was the one who gave them the details. For the first arena tour in 1991, they used the set with Mad George’s face, which had also been hide’s idea. He said, “I want to make that,” and they managed to get it done, but the whole thing was so massive they couldn’t fit it into the truck (laughs).

Moving that does seem difficult.

At that time, there was no other group doing arena tours of that scale. The stage crews were fumbling about because they couldn’t calculate things well even though they were pros. Since they did everything for the first time, there were always pits to fall into in the beginning, it was terrible. They began their preparation 3 to 4 days before their first day in Niigata, X has always been peculiar about their stages even before. Sugimoto thinks that the design and the vibes of the drop curtain were mostly down to HIDE’s influence.

Who had the idea to use “WORLD ANTHEM” as the SE all this time?

Sugimoto thinks that was HIDE as well. It was a Mahogany Rush song, and Sugimoto liked them as well. One day they were talking about Mahogany Rush and HIDE had the idea to introduce the song to the band members. The voice making the announcement was HIDE’s voice changed with a voice modulator.

They changed it to a woman’s voice in the process but continued to use it.

It was great. Just hearing it makes Sugimoto exited. HIDE also took care of all the tedious stuff like how to do the sound effects. He also came in early in the morning for rehearsals.

He wasn’t late.

He really wasn’t. Didn’t sleep, that guy, always up early (laughs). Said he wanted to be on location by 7 a.m., probably needing that time for rehearsals, make-up and so on. So he took being on time seriously.

Surely there wasn’t anyone at the venue at 7 a.m.?

People were working at the arena 24h. The most problematic thing was catering. When they started that early, there was no food. The restaurants were not open yet, so when there was a desire for tempura and soba one time, a local event planer boiled soba for them and one of the girls made tempura at home at 7 a.m. and brought it over (laughs).

Everyone was amazing.

When hide decided to go in at 7 a.m., he’d already calculated how long the preparations would take. He was the only musician to do that. So no one could complain that it was too early, since hide had taken everything into consideration, and he was right.

Where you there for that?

Sugimoto left it to the people on location as they got more used to it, but for the first arena tour, he had to be there as the person in charge and got very little sleep. He did the preparations, did the concert, followed by preparations, followed by concert… The preparations took so long he sometimes didn’t know if they would make it on time back when they were still testing things out – and not just in regard to the 11-ton truck with HIDE’s solo-corner set. He was very nervous.

Was Backstage Project involved in a lot of big concerts with X?

They had the know-how for it. In the beginning, their mission was to make X bigger and bigger and they grew together with the band, since a promoter who can only handle venues like Rokumeikan can’t handle the Toyko Dome. In that sense, Sugimoto is grateful to them.

What do you think is the secret to your success together?

The saw things the same way and had the same dream. When Sugimoto recently met YOSHIKI at an event in 2007, they talked about how visual-kei used to be called “stand-up hair bands” or “make-up music” before the term was coined and was looked down upon along with the projects working in that genre, but now it’s basically the only music from Japan that can be exported. They used to be a minority and now it’s a big thing. They believed it would get better and persevered. They had an early break in Japan, now the world is giving them attention as well. For 20 years their dreams remained as unchanged as YOSHIKI and Sugimoto themselves, and they came true, for which he is grateful.

Tell us about hide-san at the beginning of his solo activities.

All the other X-members were doing solo activities then, and hide also had his own office by this point, and they often talked about whether he, too, should go solo. About the concept, what image to go for, who to work with. He had a clear vision of what he wanted to do and Sugimoto and the others helped realize it. It made sense for hide to focus on his solo activities. “X is YOSHIKI’s band, so I’ll support whatever YOSHIKI wants to do. But my solo activities are what I want to do, so I’m asking you all to support that,” hide said.

There were a lot of different concepts, weren’t there?

Out of everything they agreed on, there was one thing they couldn’t do. Hide wanted to do an event with Marilyn Manson, but that didn’t come to pass. It could have, if they had started planning it sooner, and that is something that Sugimoto regrets.

What about the solo stages?

Those were entirely hide’s ideas. They gradually turned what he wanted to do into reality. With hide’s solo position entirely divorced from his position in X, that’s where his image was determined for good.

Weren’t there any ideas that couldn’t be realized?

Hide was pretty balanced regarding whether things could be realized, when it came to money, time, or the conditions of the venue. When a stage director told him something couldn’t be done, he immediately replaced it with another idea. Thus, it felt like most of the things he wanted to do ended up getting done.

When it came to dashing out ideas, he probably kept them to himself to begin with if he already knew they couldn’t be done.

He knew that very well, was aware of such things as both artist and producer and didn’t request anything outlandish. His concert at Chiba Marina Stadium (September 1996) was probably the prototype for the kind of music festival that exist in Japan today. It was hide who came up with having 4 stages in the middle of the venue. He wanted to create a fun event that the audience would enjoy, and he had a lot of awesome ideas.

What about his music?

In X, they made rock’n’roll – “WEEKEND”, “CELEBRATION” etc. were all rock driven. Hide’s solo catalog also contained a lot of punk rock songs, you could really tell what he liked by listening to his music. He was a typical guitarist in so far as that he liked music that was popular with guitarists. One day that left an impression with Sugimoto was during the first solo tour, in Hokkaido, Sendai or Niigata, when hide proclaimed, “I’m going to play a song for Sugimoto today,” and then performed an acoustic version of “Light My Fire” by The Doors. That was really moving. Sugimoto had mentioned liking The Doors once while eating at a teriyaki restaurant with hide – he did not know if hide just remembered that or if he liked The Doors himself anyway. The cover hadn’t been in the concert’s program, so the performance came as a surprise. And it was really cool, hide’s voice being similar to The Door’s vocalist Jim Morrison. When Sugimoto received the phone call informing him that hide had passed away, this performance, “Light My Fire”, was the thing that immediately came to his mind. He thinks their tastes in music were very similar.

You know a lot about music.

Hide knew a lot about music, about new stuff, Japanese and international trends, and a lot of genres. He managed to make rock mainstream, which Sugimoto considers a historical achievement. Visual-kei is a purely Japanese product in origin, and it’s thanks to X’s influence that it established itself in the history of rock. Sugimoto is proud to have been a part of that.

Did you ever have personal discussions?

A lot. In the dressing room before the red-and-white song battle after the breakup live, hide said that he didn’t want it to end with this. He was someone who loved live performances so he would have preferred to finish with one. One time he didn’t want to do something and asked Sugimoto to get him out of it while they were eating gyoza in Asagaya. There were many known incidents with X about something-or-other, and hide was always involved, so he would ask Sugimoto for rescue a lot and open up about his issues. They were very open and frank with each other and Sugimoto could end with a “I’ll do my best, but I apologize if it doesn’t work out.” hide was very direct with such things, and while there was probably a lot going on with him, he didn’t let that influence his positive demeanor.

Where there things that were problematic?

It was problematic when hide flipped out completely at the hotel the night after the Hokkaido concert. He was spraying the contents of the fire extinguisher around, tearfully apologized when bodyguard Ito-san and Sugimoto stopped him and led him to his room, then went berserk again. The next morning he happily showed them some crabs he had bought as a souvenir, remembering nothing. He was surprised when Sugimoto told him he couldn’t stay at this hotel anymore. And not to wander around buying crabs like nothing had happened. (laughs)

Only Sugimoto-san could do something like that.

There were always clear signs when hide was going to lose his temper. He would hold himself back at first, but after a few hours he would lose it. But inside, he didn’t want to cause any trouble. He was a good guy, a very decent gentleman.

He was still a gentleman even if he went wild?

Indeed. There are people who can perform in front of thousands and then just come down from that at once, but hide was someone who needed to cool down with a drink first. That said, he was a heavy drinker. He would drink until 7 a.m., then suggest going to the next place. When Sugimoto told him that it was time for work already, he’d happily say, “I found a place that’s open until 10.” Just how many hours could this guy drink?!

And you went along with everything?

Not at all! Sugimoto had to work in the morning, so that was impossible. Still, he drank a lot, which he could probably do because he was young. And it made it easy to work with hide, being able to speak openly with him and getting open replies.

Were you also in charge of his solo tours?

Not the one after hide’s death, but he did the two before that. Just when Sugimoto stated working on the schedule for the third tour, hide passed away and Sugimoto canceled everything. When they met in a yakitori restaurant in Shinjuku, hide got really excited about the Marilyn Manson event mentioned earlier and really wanted to do that. They met at a solo live of J one day and hide said, “Let’s have a meeting about this,” and that was the last time they ever spoke. If they had done such an event, Sugimoto imagines hide would have become a producer of sorts for a movement that combined music, fashion, and culture. He seemed like the type who could create such a thing.

Did you, as the person in charge of their events, ever receive complaints afterwards?

Yes, a lot. Hotels and restaurants that wouldn’t let them hold after parties there anymore, and venues they were told not to come back to.

Did you apologize, in that function of yours?

Sugimoto complained to the band members about it, asking why they would do such a thing. And then X would apologize and think about what they had done.

They reflected on it?

Yeah, but maybe that was just lip service (laughs). Anyway, they understood that shit like that was bad for the band, so they at least thought about it. They were honest like that. And they were not the type to be deceitful or talk badly about people.

For sure.

They were accepting people. And always straightforward with their fans. Maybe that’s how they got to work together for so long. LUNA SEA was also like that.

What was X to you?

The group changed Sugimoto’s life. If he hadn’t met them, his life would have been very different. He was in his twenties when he made Backstage Project with a bunch of other ex-musicians who just wanted to work in rock music because it was fun, and he never thought he would do that for more than 20 years and meet so many interesting people. All that is thanks to X. Also, they changed the life of many a fan with their music, the way Sugimoto’s life was changed when he listed to the Rolling Stones for the first time.

How did you feel about hide-san as an individual?

Sugimoto used to be a guitarist as well, although he wasn’t as good as hide and not successful. He always regretted that choice, even after he quit doing it, his regrets about his past following him around even while he was doing Backstage Project. But after meeting hide he was able to feel proud of having been a guitarist, and see that being one is a good thing, even if it didn’t work out for him. So he said to hide, “I didn’t succeed as a guitarist, but it was you who made me feel proud of having been one.”

What did hide-san say when you told him that?

He was embarrassed, going, “How can you say something like that?” But Sugimoto thinks he was probably happy to hear it. They had this conversation while drinking in an issakaya somewhere, and its a fond memory for Sugimoto, because there aren’t many musicians who invoke this kind of feelings in their staff. Without this, Sugimoto might not have become the kind of person to think of so many things at the same time and develop so many different projects.

He was also the president of a company.

They never talked about management or money, though, expect in the sense that certain things might make a stage set expensive. So to Sugimoto, while hide was the president of a company, he was a musician, producer – a creator first and foremost. Well, and a drunkard (laughs). He was a mysterious person.

Mysterious, how?

When getting close to a musician, most people usually try to find out as much as possible about the private person behind that persona, but Sugimoto always thought it best to keep that separate and just know hide at the level at which they met. And that worked well for hide as well. Keeping his private life secret made him feel more like a rock star. It was cool like that, just like him.

At X’s reunion concert, TOSHI-san gave you a shout out (on the topic of people he was grateful for).

That made him happy, as Sugimoto was also grateful for X. It was great that that concert got to happen and that so many people who thought they would never get to see them again came for those 3 days.

What did you think when you saw that concert?

It was great. Sugimoto went to see it as just another person in the audience.

So you weren’t involved backstage?

Not on the second and third day, but on the first he ran around backstage a lot as people recognized him. He didn’t actually get to see much of the 1997 breakup live, since it had been decided suddenly and sold out at once, and it wasn’t like they could just make that up to him at a later show. The girls in the ticket booths worked non-stop for days. It was very hard, probably the worst Sugimoto had ever seen, but everyone who had bought a ticket got in in the end, so that was good.

Is there anything you would like to say to hide-san now?

Sugimoto regrets not having been able to keep his promise. He’s been to hide’s grave, saying, “I’m sorry the event with Marilyn Manson did not happen.” There are so many things that did happen. The fights and the rampages don’t matter. What Sugimoto regrets is that hide never got to change not just Japan’s but Asia’s music industry as he would have if he had lived. He would have become Asia’s No. 1 super guitar hero. Even now there are requests from other countries for concerts, by people who do not yet know that hide has passed away. That is sad to think about, but at the same time, the fact that he still gets so much support both at home and abroad shows what a great guy hide has been.

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Interviews with Iori, JUN and Matoi (Phantasmagoria)

Published in the hide BIBLE (by Akemi Oshima) 2008

Note: Grouped together because they are short and with members of the same band.

Iori Interview (Phantasmagoria / G)

Q1: When did you first learn about hide?

A: Middle school.

Q2: Please tell us what kind of impression you had at the time.

A: The colors surprised me (laughs).

Q3: Please tell us of a way in which hide influenced you.

A: The way the guitar as in instrument should be.

Q4: What did hide mean to you?

A: A person like the cosmos.

Q5: How did you collect information?

A: From my companions.

Q6: Out of hide’s songs, which is your favorite and why?

A: Pink Spider.

JUN Interview (Phantasmagoria / G)

Q1: When did you first learn about hide?

A: The first year of middle school.

Q2: Please tell us what kind of impression you had at the time.

A: He was kind of scary but really impressed me! In that moment I was blown away by the guitarist’s presence and coolness!

Q3: Please tell us of a way in which hide influenced you.

A: Entertainment! Enjoy yourself! Fight!

Q4: What did hide mean to you?

A: The most distant and closest rock star!

Q5: How did you collect information?

A: With my own eyes and legs! And a bit from friends! (laughs)

Q6: Out of hide’s songs, which is your favorite and why?

A: I can’t pick a favorite, but for me it all started with SCARS!

Matoi Interview (Phantasmagoria / Ds)

Q1: When did you first learn about hide?

A: Knew him from a friend who had a cover band!

Q2: Please tell us what kind of impression you had at the time.

A: What I cool guy! I thought.

Q3: Please tell us of a way in which hide influenced you.

A: Not in the instrument, since I play drums, but I was imitating him when I covered my mouth with black mesh during a concert long ago!

Q4: What did hide mean to you?

A: A great man!! I used note books with hide-san’s prints on them for school and so on.

Q5: How did you collect information?

A: Forgot.

Q6: Out of hide’s songs, which is your favorite and why?

A: “Genkai Haretsu”. Not only was the song amazing, I was also shocked by the beauty of hide-san’s green hair in the PV!

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Interview with Riku (Phantasmagoria / Vo)

Published in the hide BIBLE (by Akemi Oshima) 2008

Q1: When did you first learn about hide?

A: Saw him at X’s debut.

Q2: Please tell us what kind of impression you had at the time.

A: I learned about hide-san when I saw X for the first time at their debut. With me thinking that they were impactful people when I look at their pictures now, I think the shock at that time was massive. At that time, hide-san had long hair in a mixture of blonde and red, and an aggressive appearance, so I remember him being really scary to me then. But when I got over that and turned my attention to the music, I also thought that he was a person who really seemed to enjoy playing the guitar. Figuratively speaking, he was like a toy that you played with a lot and that you keep staring at because it always shows you a new way to play with it. Both in a band and solo, he was a person full of charm, who could show different expressions without effort. Although I wasn’t in a band back then and wasn’t that interested in music, I think I kept seeing him everywhere.

Q3: Please tell us of a way in which hide influenced you.

A: When it comes to enjoying music and bands.

Q4: What did hide mean to you?

A: When I got interested in music and bands, he was someone each and any of my friends knew. Although he was different from the bands I was into, hide-san’s influence was there in various ways. That making music side by side with foreign artists is awesome and something you do if you get the chance is something everyone should agree on.

Q5: How did you collect information?

A: From TV and magazines and by talking to my friends of that time.

Q6: Out of hide’s songs, which is your favorite and why?

A: When I first saw and heard “Beauty & Stupid” on a music show, I thought it was so cool! It’s intuitive, though, I can’t explain why in detail.

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Interview with KISAKI (Phantasmagoria / Bass)

Published in the hide BIBLE (by Akemi Oshima) 2008

Q1: When did you first learn about hide?

A: When I first saw him on “Genki ga Deru TV” during X’s indies days, I was shocked. Everyone was laughing, but when I think about it now, I think X were making them laugh. That I first saw hide-san live was at the Osaka show of the “BLUE BLOOD” tour. I’ll never forget that memory.

Q2: Please tell us what kind of impression you had at the time.

A: I was left with the memory of being incredibly moved by the organization of the concert, the quality of the staging, the scale of the songwriting, the production. It all had a profound impact on me, who had only just started in music, and gave me the courage to live my life. I also thought that the fangirls were scary (laughs). Because this country boy from Wakayama had never seen anything like that before (laughs).

Q3: Please tell us of a way in which hide influenced you.

A: While he influenced me musically in various ways, the biggest influence came from hide-san as the one who created the therm “Visual-Kei”. I was influenced in many ways by hide-san’s unique and entirely uncompromising personal style. My own preferences also stem from that. And I felt his passion and kindness in the affection he showed for terminally ill Mayuko-chan when he registered with the bone-marrow bank.

Q4: What did hide mean to you?

A: He’s one of the artists that got me to the VISUAL genre. If I hadn’t encountered hide-san, I would be a different person today.

Q5: How did you collect information?

A: Mainly through the magazine “Rocking f” (laughs). Since hide-san was on the front cover a lot at the time, I got easily caught up in bookstores and so on. X’s activities were all newsworthy, so I naturally got into them even without being a collector (laughs).

Q6: Out of hide’s songs, which is your favorite and why?

A: I can’t chose a favorite, but I really love hide-san’s first solo album “HIDE YOUR FACE”. There are songs with a straight rock sound like “TELL ME” or “EYES LOVE YOU”, but REMIXES like “DOUBT” also demonstrate hide-san’s outstanding musical talent, which I thought was simply cool.

[turtleations]

KUMA: Never Ending Bond, Chapter 4 Part 4 - 6 (Translation)

Preface & Prologue Chapter 1 Part 1 & 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 Chapter 2 Part 1 & 2, Part 3 & 4, Part 5, Part 6 & 7 Chapter 3 Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 & 4, Part 5, Part 6 & 7 Chapter 4 Part 1 & 2, Part 3

The two treasure-like songs we created together

The songwriting with Shishô that made me wonder, “What have I been doing until now?”

Having graduated from being a staff member of X and being active with my own band, talking to Shishô about music made me genuinely wonder, “Could I have put this much thought into creating something this deep?”

When I thought that… I keep saying it, but the realization was there: “What have I been doing until now?” It made me hate myself.

When we were listening once again to the phrase played on acoustic guitar as recorded on tape, Shishô said, “KUMA, this is what I mean. If you just break this melody into cords, I don’t think there would be any spread to it, because the melody won’t be open.”

While he said so, he made sure several times… Over and over, he used different cord for the same sound, and recorded it all over again.

In the things Shishô said, the things he did, it was as if he were showing all his cards.

I used to think I had been thinking carefully about what I was doing until then, but when I was shown that… I felt like there had been no originality, not even in theory, when I was composing a song.

The two songs that we were composing that way were “JET SPARK” and “STARDUST STORY”.

Looking back, I, who had been kidnapped to Lake Yamanaka as if it were a joke, did not understand Shishô’s intentions, since we did not really talk about it in the aftermath, but… I think Shishô must have figured it all out before taking me away.

I think it was probably to give me as much of those two songs as possible at that point.

A necessity that seems random. When I think back to that exchange, I can’t help but wonder what was up with Shishô’s characteristic “kindness laced with embarrassment”.

At first, we started with “JET SPARK”, but that song was a hotpot of melodies I had created and the cords Shishô provided for it.

The interlude, too, he made feel natural as he created it on the acoustic guitar… and even there, Shishô’s typical attention to detail showed up, and he put in magnificent cords.

In hide’s style, he utilized my strongest points, and added an original taste… That’s how seriously he took the creation of my songs.

“STARDUST STORY” is a song that was created by Shishô humming the cords over and over again. To the extent that I initially wondered if this wasn’t really Shishô’s song.

In the end, nothing got finished at Lake Yamanaka, and later I took it from there and kept thinking of extensions and compositions, and after I properly worked on that melody for half a year… This is the first time I’m letting Shishô listen to it in full.

Lake Yamanaka – The Aftermath

I went to Laka Yamanaka in November of ‘97.

It happened just one month before X’s final concert, when Shishô was beginning to prepare new solo songs.

I had been taken there without knowing why at the time, but at some point, there was something like a break.

Apparently, the people from the record company had prepared a day off at an onsen for hide-san, who had been working on his songs with a pretty full schedule.

When I heard all the staff members suggest that “we should all enjoy a reward for our hard work for a bit”, I thought, “No way!”

Having dropped everything when I went to Lake Yamanaka, I had no time to relax… and this was postponing the day of my return to Tokyo even further.

So I said to hide-san, “Please got to the onsen with everyone else. I’ll return to Tokyo for a bit and then come back here,” and then took my leave from Lake Yamanaka.

In the end, everyone was at the onsen for about 2 to 3 days, However, from what I heard, Shishô, probably in excited drunkenness, jumped from a car and broke his foot…

With X’s last live only a month away, the subsequent work at Lake Yamanaka was canceled in the end, and so Shishô and the others returned from the onsen directly to Toyko.

After that, I joined Shishô in the city, where he continued to work without pause, but… the rehearsals for X were starting, and things got very hectic in this time.

As I mentioned before, I had been separated from X for many years at that point, but when Shishô asked me to help out at the end, from then on until the turn of the year, we were together almost every day, just like we had been in the past.

Also… on the 1st of February 1998, the year he announced the activities of “hide with Spread Beaver”, Shishô would go to the US.

“Kuma, you have to come to Los Angeles with me.”

“Come along.”

“Please come.”

Those invitations came frequently. In the end, because I wanted to get the two songs we made at Lake Yamanaka into a proper shape before I let him listen to them, I told Shishô, “I’ll make it there as soon as I finished the pre-production in Japan,” and planned to get to Los Angeles later. On the day of his departure, I did some shopping for him and then went to hide-san’s house. We went to Narita Airport together, and at the departure gate I saw him off with a “See you soon, I’ll be in L.A. in no time!!” and waved after hide-san until he disappeared from sight. After that, at its worst, I would get calls from hide-san in L.A. every thirty minutes.

I was aware that Shishô was struggling with a few things, but since I really wanted to finish those two songs he had worked on for me at Lake Yamanaka, so I could take them along… I thought that I would make it to L.A. no later than the end of February.

But in the end, I didn’t go at all.

The reason is that when I returned to Kumamoto for a day to renew my expired passport, the car I was in the passenger seat of was in an accident, and I was rushed to the hospital and admitted there…

That happened on the 25th of February. I had planned to leave on the 26th, and already had my plane ticket, too.

I had promised Shishô that I would come and thought that I had to get to the US no matter what, so even with an immobile leg, I managed to sneak out of the hospital.

There was an uproar at the hospital because of this.

In the end, Shishô’s mother contacted me, and told me, “KUMA-chan, what are you doing? Hideto is worried, saying that no matter what you are up to, you need to get well first! So please just go straight back to the hospital.” These words send me straight back to the hospital on crutches.

After that, Shishô called me at the hospital as well…

I remember us talking about a lot of things.

In the end, Shishô returned to Japan without me ever making it to Los Angeles.

Parting with hide – the reality

To me, 1998 would become a year I would never forget. X separated and Shishô started his solo project, and then… we parted ways.

I couldn’t move, and my trip to the US that I had been supposed to undertake with Shishô was canceled…

A few months after that…

Since that day eleven years ago, my life had changed drastically.

Even when I think about it now, my memories of the time after the turn of the year are somewhat muddled.

To be honest, there is a version of me who still really, really hasn’t been able to figure out his feelings.

Shishô himself seemed to often touch on subjects like “life and death” in his lyrics, as he was a person who always carried these themes in his awareness…

For example, lines like “When your body is dead and turned to ashes, someone is going to evaluate you…”

Thinking of it this way, a part of me was trying to come to terms with Shishô’s departure, while another part of me couldn’t accept it… Now I think I can never find the answer while I am still in this world…

In May ‘98, I was overwhelmed by the feeling of not understanding what the hell was going on, or even who I was. My reason for being.

At that time, I think I caused the important people around me, including my parents, a great deal of worry.

All those around me did their best to make me feel better.

From then on, I had no choice but to live my life convincing myself that I needed to be reborn, little by little, and that like that I would surely make it through this.

No matter how many years go by, even now, eleven years later, those feelings are still the same.

“The repeating seasons keep leaving me behind. I have to get going…”

[turtleations]

KUMA: Never Ending Bond, Chapter 4 Part 3 (Translation)

Preface & Prologue Chapter 1 Part 1 & 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 Chapter 2 Part 1 & 2, Part 3 & 4, Part 5, Part 6 & 7 Chapter 3 Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 & 4, Part 5, Part 6 & 7 Chapter 4 Part 1 & 2

The collaboration that made me realize the extent of Shishô’s perception

I’ve lost track a little, but… here’s what we were holed up at Lake Yamanaka for, to the point of my cell phone getting burned…

On the first day, we were doing hide-san’s recording work.

First, we would record the demo tape that would become the template for the new song, but for this we would not use the recording studio but a tape recorder in the room Shishô and I were sharing.

“KUMA, record this.”

“Oh, stop.”

“Okay, okay. KUMA, one more time.”

“Oh, stop.”

Repeating this over and over, he created the shape of the song on the acoustic guitar.

The works that were born this way would later turn into “Pink Spider” and “ever free”.

I was only helping with the tape recorder, but I witnessed the entire process of creation… At first, he would simultaneously hum and play a chord, and change it several times, then he would chose the ones he liked best, and assemble a melody from there.

When I listen to the finished song, I can tell, “That phrase from back there turned into this,” but at the time of him coming up with various motives and putting them together, I had no idea what would become of them.

I did not ask Shishô, “What’s this song to be?” while working on it, and when a new phrase came to life as the work went on, I would wonder, “Is this for a different song than the one just now? Where’s the overlap?”

That’s what I was secretly thinking.

And then the next day. “Well then, let’s make your song, KUMA. What kind of song is it gonna be?” said Shishô. From there, the process of creating songs for me started. When Shishô once told me that he would write a song for me, he instructed me to have a melody ready as a starting point… So a melody existed in my mind.

When I conveyed it to him, Shishô hummed the melody I gave him scat style [nonsensical/wordless vocalization of a melody]… then turned it into cords. He used the same method he had previously used for the creation of his own songs.

But even though I had a motif in mind, it was pretty rough, as I had come to Lake Yamanaka unexpectedly and without preparation.

Therefore, with the sound in my head as a focal point and the advice of Shishô, saying, “If you do this here, why not do that there?” and so on, recording on tape and stopping, recording and stopping… We repeated it over and over.

At this point, I was also taught Shishô’s personal views on music.

“I make songs while planning for the feeling of the cords in contrast with the melody line. I put a lot of emphasis on the range in contrast with the melody.”

It were things like that which I got to hear while we were working on the songs.

We also focused on the lyrics a bunch while at Lake Yamanaka.

Since the lyrics I had thought of were frankly not finished yet, and I did not bring what I had with me, I ended up just applying the words I remembered to the finished melody as I sang along…

While doing so, I also learned a lot about Shishô’s attention to detail when it came to lyrics.

“First of all, the start of the chorus has to be conveyed directly. This is the part that needs the biggest hook, so I use voiced sounds to attack.”

“If you think carefully about the placement of the words, you can get a really cool sound not only in English, but in Japanese as well.”

“In pop, it’s important not to forget to make it catchy, and it’s fun to mix in katakana English.”

“Regarding the subject matter, it’s best to start by scribbling it down. What you want to write, what you want to convey, you should fill a couple of pages of a notebook with it, I think. That’s what I do when I start writing.”

Advice like that.

Lyrics are really hard.

Before our work at Lake Yamanaka, Shishô, who had gone solo, had talked to me about lyrics… but when I once again saw the lyrics he was writing at Lake Yamanaka, it scared me a little.

The content was unadorned, and when I read it again, it was rather shocking.

While Shishô also tended to use someone else as an analogy in his lyrics, in the end, they were often a stand-in for himself…

For example, there is a like in “TELL ME” that says, “I will not be able to hear my own voice until I am ashes…” When I read those lyrics, I thought time and again that the way he thought remained the same through the days, he just changed the way he expressed his feelings.

There was something desperate in it… It had an immeasurable power.

That same Shishô helped me create a song at Lake Yamanaka.

He taught me many things, using his own songs as an example, and while it gradually took shape with the two of us humming along…

“Shisho thinks about things this deeply, and with such fine attention to detail.” – When this realization came over me once again, it was an eye-opener.

His desire to seek the best, no matter what he did, and create products of the highest quality was extremely strong.

Working with Shishô one-on-one like this, I had to bluntly ask myself, “What have I been doing until now?”

[turtleations]

KUMA: Never Ending Bond, Chapter 4 Part 1 & 2 (Translation)

Preface & Prologue Chapter 1 Part 1 & 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 Chapter 2 Part 1 & 2, Part 3 & 4, Part 5, Part 6 & 7 Chapter 3 Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 & 4, Part 5, Part 6 & 7

Chapter 4: The Separation from HIDE – How KUMA took it Forever unanswered thoughts, and the message Shishô left behind

Shishô = HIDE, always pestering the awkward KUMA

“You’re really awkward, always taking the long way around. You should take advantage of me. Then you’d soon make it,” Shishô used to say to me.

At first, I replied to that with, “What are you talking about? I’m doing my best!”, but eventually these discussions ended in a collaboration with HIDE-san and him telling me, “The same goes for writing songs. I’ll do what I can, so you really have to get there.”

That was Shishô, who always said contradictory things, but one day, when the topic came up over dinner, he spoke to me in a very strong tone… and he wasn’t laughing.

I felt somewhat forsaken when HIDE-san spoke to me like that…

“Please don’t say something like that. I’m doing my best, and it makes me sad when you dismiss that,” I said. Looking back, aside from directly telling me to “take advantage of me in order to make it”, there were many things in which he tried to support me.

HIDE-san had gotten a tattoo in Los Angeles, and when he did, he explained his thought process to me:

“This is the proof that I will “fight in the world of rock” my entire life.”

That was what he had determined for himself, he explained to me when we spoke of his tattoo, and at that point, I said, “I’m going to get the same one as you.” When I told him that, he was strongly against it.

“Are you an idiot? For someone who is planning to make it in this world, something like that is a no-go. You’ll have to put your body on display, after all. A tattoo will come with all sorts of restrictions, and that’s no good at all… I don’t want that for you,” he said.*

But I wouldn’t let it go either, so I said, “Then I’ll put it on my ass, where no one can see it.”… and he made a face at me.

Anyway, Shisho kept telling me, “You’re absolutely not allowed to do that.”…

He was probably irritated by my round-about way of going at things.

He really always said to me, “Make more use of me,” and “That’s why you’re no good. What about your band? You have to make it quickly, even if you use me a stepping stone.”

All I said was, “I’m doing my best.”

“You always take the long way around. Can’t you do better? Look at the others. I’m doing what I can, so you have to do your part as well.”

During that time, we had that kind of exchange a lot.

[*) Tattoos carry a social stigma in Japan to this day, as they are mostly associated with organized crime and having one often bans you from public spaces where your body is exposed such as public baths or sometime even beaches. Therefore, they are still rare among the general population and were even rarer then.]

To Yamanaka-ko, Lake of Destiny

Something that Shishô always said to me which made me really happy was, “I’d do anything for you.”

It did come true one day, too…

A few days after Shishô lamented over dinner, “You always take the long way around!” I suddenly got a phone call from him.

“KUMA, I need you to come right away. Please come, no matter what.”

It sounded urgent again… I thought as I went to Shishô’s house.

Apparently, it had been decided that we would go to the studio at Lake Yamanaka for my pre-production, but but at that point I was not informed of that, being told only to “Please come,” and then casually packed up in the car… and before I knew it, we were driving down the highway.

When I asked, surprised, “Eh, where are we going?” I was merely told, “No, it’s fine. It��s okay, so don’t worry,” and left ignorant of our destination for quite a while. I was surprised when, at a parking area quite along way from Tokyo, I was finally told, “We’re going to Lake Yamanaka.”

“No, that’s not happening. I’m going home, seriously.”

When I said that, Shishô laughed like he always did, and said, “How would you get back there?” In the end, taken to Lake Yamanaka I was.

There had, in fact, been foreshadowing for this trip to Lake Yamanaka.

There had already been talk of Shishô writing a song with me. When the phone call came with him asking me to “come over for a bit”, he sounded very serious, so I worried that something might have happened and thought that I really ought to go over to see him.

So, when I actually went to meet him, Shishô and his staff were preparing the car… While I was still wondering what was up, I was put into the car and abducted.

Meanwhile, the staff were laughing, saying, “KUMA, this is a kidnapping, you’re being kidnapped.”

And so, our destination was the recording studio at Lake Yamanaka.

I kept saying, “I’m going home!!” until the end, but… When we split into rooms, Shishô told everyone, “It’s okay for me and KUMA to share a room!!”, but I, not yet having sorted out my feelings, was seriously thinking, “I am not okay with this at all.”

And when I was informed that we would be living together for a while, I was not thrilled.

After all, I had come to Lake Yamanaka leaving all the things I should be doing instead undone… which led to me fiddling with my cell phone.

Since we were in the mountains, I had trouble getting a signal, so in order to search for one, I went outside, wandering around agitatedly… Until Shishô noticed and set my cell phone on fire.

Maybe he thought I was going home.

He said something along the lines of, “KUMA, let me see your cell phone. Hurry, hurry up!” confiscated my phone, and threw it into the fireplace. And then the phone exploded.

Well, that had been unexpected.

Mobile phones had only just hit the market at that time and were still quite expensive…

Although the phone I got back was burned and wrapped, it… was still barely clinging to life. So, I thought, I ought to get a signal, and went back outside immediately to look for one.

When I did that, Shishô followed me outside, took my phone away once again... and this time threw it into the pitch-black forest.

It was already nighttime, so obviously, I gave up for the day without looking for it.

Unfortunately, the phone I finally found the next day was unsalvageable.

Later, after we returned to Tokyo, Shishô bought me a new cell phone, but I kept the destroyed one as a treasured memento.

Shishô saw this while he was getting a haircut in the process of getting his styling done, and for some reason he stuck a bunch of the red strands to my old cell phone with sticky tape and said, laughing, “This makes for an interesting art piece, doesn’t it?”

Chapter 4 Part 3

[turtleations]

Interview with Nikaido Hayato (MASQUERADE / Vo)

Published in the hide BIBLE (by Akemi Oshima) 2008

Q1: When did you first learn about hide?

A: My older brother bought the “ROCKET DIVE” CD, I got to know hide-san when he let me listen to it.

Q2: Please tell us what kind of impression you had at the time.

A: At that time I didn’t think about music, just listening to is was enough. Even so, it was different from the music of other musicians I had listened to so far, it certainly had a sense of “thrill”. I said something like “Next time, let me buy your CD,” to my brother. (laughs)

Q3: Please tell us of a way in which hide influenced you.

A: Me, regarding certain people, I like the real live tales, legends, and insider stories that others talked about. (In this case, the heroic tale of hide-san’s image as held by SUGIZO-san that you can read on the internet, among others.)* The hide-san I get from his music and from interviews gives the impression of being “intense, unusual, and powerful… yet very kind.” I really like that he did rock with such consistency, I think I want to be like that even though I do things differently.

Q4: What did hide mean to you?

A: In terms of fashion, his sense of image, and of course music, his charisma was outstanding. It feels strange, but to me, hide-san was thrilling in a way that still shines on a different level than the image of his activities or the imitations of his music. His magazine photos were artistic and extraordinary, which really surprised me.

Q5: How did you collect information?

A: Through magazines and internet and by exchanging information with friends who liked him.

Q6: Out of hide’s songs, which is your favorite and why?

A: “ever free” was the first song since I started listening to music that made me become aware of the world view within the lyrics.

[*) I have no idea what this is referring to. If you know, please tell me. I would love to add a link and maybe rewrite that line to make a little more sense.]

[turtleations]

Interview with YUJI (as.milk / Ds)

Published in the hide BIBLE (by Akemi Oshima) 2008

Q1: When did you first learn about hide?

A: Must have been from a TV program I watched in the later years of primary school. [5th – 6th grade]

Q2: Please tell us what kind of impression you had at the time.

A: What a cool hairstyle~!!! (laughs)

Q3: Please tell us of a way in which hide influenced you.

A: Composition, stage performance, the attitude towards music, how to live. The possibility of expressing yourself through music. “In music, the possibilities are endless, there isn’t just one answer, and no wrong ones”, that’s what I feel in hide-san’s music.

Q4: What did hide mean to you?

A: He made rock music accessible and taught me that the walls of genre are very low. I don’t think I could be like hide-san, but I still want to get a little closer to him. I wanted to have a drink with him. (laughs)

Q5: How did you collect information?

A: Since that was a time when I didn’t even think about having a PC, exclusively through music magazines!

Q6: Out of hide’s songs, which is your favorite and why?

A: Favorite… that’s hard. Rating them is honestly difficult, but might be “Eyes Love You”? Since hide-san’s image with X had been so strong until then, this song is the most memorable to me for the shock of reversing it.

[turtleations]

Interview with Reika (DoReMi-Group / Ds)

Published in the hide BIBLE (by Akemi Oshima) 2008

Q1: When did you first learn about hide?

A: At the time when troll dolls were popular, hide-san’s art photos appeared on TV as if to say, “Doesn’t this remind you of someone?” As he was wearing the clothes from the Budôkan performance or the “WEEK END”-PV, it must have been around that time.

Q2: Please tell us what kind of impression you had at the time.

A: Who the hell is that person! He is so cool! I nearly lost my mind.

Q3: Please tell us of a way in which hide influenced you.

A: How to enjoy live performances.

Q4: What did hide mean to you?

A: A hero.

Q5: How did you collect information?

A: From TV. Since there was of course no internet back then, I would check the TV-program every day, and whenever the letter “X” appeared, I would set the TV accordingly. I was so irritated by the “X-Mas” listings during Christmas time.

Q6: Out of hide’s songs, which is your favorite and why?

A: “Sadistic Desire”. I can’t put my thoughts about it briefly, but I feel like it pierces my heart. The intro riff is impressive, but it’s the backing riff in the chorus I like the most. Therefore, I enjoy the end of the interlude in the “VANISHING VISION” take. Even more thrilling were the strings and SE in the “LIVE LIVE LIVE” take.

[turtleations]

Interview with t.o.L. (Artist unit consisting of saito and kuno, involved with LEMONed as art designers) (summarized)

Published in the hide BIBLE (by Akemi Oshima) 2008

Note: t.o.L. (trees of Life) are an artistic duo consisting of Kuno Makiko and Saito Kei, who published work under the LEMONed label and further worked for LEMONed on the design side of things. They are the creators of the cartoon cat TAMALA who stars in their 2002 movie “TAMALA2010 – a punk cat in space”.

Note 2: For this interview I am falling back on the “summary” format I have used for all the long interviews so far. Again, much of it is still a rather direct translation.

Note 3: I once again use names and honorifics or lack thereof as used by the people talking. (They are somewhat inconsistent in this one.)

For starters, please tell us about your first meeting with hide-san.

(kuno) In 1995, they were in London to make the PV for their song “one day for maria”, where they showed their work to an acquaintance and it somehow ended up being seen by someone from HEADWAX. It made its way to hide, who liked it so much he arranged for a meeting soon after.

(saito) They were talking to London’s EMI UK at the time, but met with hide-san as soon as they returned to Japan in January 1996. He was recording in a studio in Hitachizaka then, and right at their first meeting said, “I’m making a label called LEMONed, how about we work together?” He let them listen to his song “BACTERIA”, which he was recording just then, and it was completely different from what they had imagined. They had not expected it to be music they liked that much. The fact that the label he was creating wasn’t just for the music but also for the covers, videos etc. was exciting to them.

(kuno) When she saw the video for “BACTERIA” for the first time, she was surprised and simply thought it was cool. She had been mostly listening to foreign music until then and had not expected there to be people making such awesome stuff in Japan as well. That was one of the reasons why she wanted to work with hide.

Did you live in London at that time?

(kuno) On and off.

You talked about making music and PVs, but what was your main activity until then?

(saito) Mainly TV-commercials and advertisements, but he was ready to move on to the next thing. The song “one day for maria” (trees of Life) that was entered into the LEMONed compilation, and the PV for it, were something they had made for themselves, completely out of their own volition without having been commissioned for it. Them making the music, the video, and the graphics themselves must have been in line with what hide-san wanted to do with LEMONed.

What was your impression when you met hide-san for the first time?

(kuno) He seemed like an amazingly delicate and ordinary boy. The massive gab between his unremarkable, sensitive impression and the strong impact left my “BACTERIA” was quite surprising.

(saito) To he honest, saito didn’t know X JAPAN well until then. When he met hide in person, the large gab between the wild energy of his works and the very delicate nature of the person making them was immediately captivating.

After this, you started creating things together?

(kuno) When they entered “one day for maria” into the LEMONed compilation, it led to them also being in charge of the entire art direction and all the visual work for LEMONed. Then the LEMONed-log, hide-san’s log, and the pamphlet with LEMONed’s introduction and so on.

(saito) hide had probably always meant to create an image that was different from that of X JAPAN’s HIDE. To realize that, they talked at lot and often had exchanges late at night. Hide would suddenly reach out in the middle of the night because he thought of a song or an idea had come to him. He was now operating in a different genre than the one he was used to, and that’s where t.o.L. came in. When they talked about what to do for the jacket of the first LEMONed compilation, hide-san brought up Salvador Dali: What if they didn’t use one of the artists images but rather an image of the artist himself? Kuno then picked that idea up, asking, should they go for a model of the old man? What environment should he be in? Hide came up with radical ideas, they played them back with their own input, like playing catch ball, and it the end the photographer, stylists, lighting made it a reality. That’s how LEMONed worked. Saito took a step back from creating songs and live performances as part of trees of Life then, he sees now.

(kuno) They worked on the overall image of ELMONed together, but t.o.L.’s general involvement was more in the visual department.

(saito) hide was someone who had a lot of ideas, but those ideas were often absurd. Dali, for example, was already dead then. In saito’s opinion, hide was way ahead of his time. t.o.L. also made the pamphlet for the [then] recent “hide Memorial Summit”. While hide himself is gone, everyone wants him to be an icon. He was an extremely imaginative person, the kind of person who wants to use Dali, and influenced Saito a lot as a person. Saito didn’t think it possible for this design idea to be well received, but it was.

(kuno) The idea of using Salvador Dali was fresh and unexpected and she wanted to turn it into something real using her own imagination.

(saito) Hide probably wanted to do something that could be enjoyed even by all the people who didn’t know the painter Salvador Dali. Saito, who had himself operated under Dali’s name, felt that difference back then. While hide lived in a fun and insane world, he also wanted to translate that craziness for the fans who loved him. It’s hard to believe that that was ten years ago already. To saito, it feels recent.

(kuno) To create the cover for the recent live album, she listened to the recordings once more and dug up old photographs. They don’t feel old at all, they feel fresh.

(saito) He thinks it’s funny that X JAPAN’s HIDE was well established, but it was the solo artist hide who created LEMONed whom they got involved with, and as a result, their relationship with him was somewhat unique. For fans from the X JAPAN era, that shift was probably unsettling, but to t.o.L., who joined halfway through, it was quite a different experience.

How exactly did hide-san influence you?

(saito) After hide passed away, they created the character of TAMALA and worked on that movie for about four years. During that period, he thought about something hide had said countless times: That there is a gab between an artist’s understanding of the fun and fascinating work they want to do, and the way the people viewing it in the end will perceive it. It’s not a question of choosing between your vision and what would bring people enjoyment, but of managing to do both.

(kuno) She thinks this is really important.

(saito) Recently, when he saw X JAPAN’s performances or the “hide Memorial Summit” and HIDE-san appears on screen, he felt like just another fan, even though they should have done these things together, thinking “He’s so cool!” or “He’s so cute!” hide’s greatness can be felt in the last glittering fragments he left behind. He was burning with ideals yet knew of the harshness of reality, and that’s what makes what he left behind so great and adorable, and it’s what made him special.

(kuno) She feels like there were a lot of terrible things that they can’t even imagine, yet hide’s songs and performances gave the impression of him always having fun. It may sound strange to put it like that, but it feels like he was playing with great seriousness. That’s what she also wants to do; it’s his influence on her.

(saito) Even when hide was at his absolute limit, he would ask his fans if they were entertained enough. It goes beyond his imagination. He heard this from someone else, but if the fans were to answer, “We’re not!”, hide would probably say, “Okay” and work even harder. Working with hide-san, Saito didn’t have a single bad experience.

(kuno) To put it differently, he was extremely considerate. He was so considerate of his staff and the people around him that she feared he would exhaust himself with it. On the other hand, he was reckless and playful, but he was also someone to take the initiative and lead everyone. It were his sensitivity and kindness that really left an impression.

Are there any episodes from when you were working together that left a particularly deep impression?

(saito) When they made the PV for “Beauty & Stupid”, he felt like there was a taste of the Showa-era [25. December 1926 – 7. January 1989] in it, so saito decided to go in the opposite direction with the styling. Hide said, “That’s cool, that’s really cool, but there are fans who sport their own pink hair, so can you include the part where I go “Ehehe” with the pink hair for me?” and saito thought, “Oh, sorry, I get it now.”

(kuno) The finished thing was super cute.

(saito) It really worked out well. Hide always wanted to go higher, and he wanted to take everyone with him when he went. Rather than going on his own, he always prioritized his fans.

(kuno) She thinks he was also playing around.

(saito) Really, he probably couldn’t keep himself entertained.

(kuno) For real.

(saito) He acted that way a lot, though, so it was kind of adorable.

“Beauty & Stupid” was reshot?

(saito) He just wanted to add some new footage but ended up redoing the whole thing. It was a fun project, through. And of course, on the day of the shoot, there was a broken foot… (laughs)

(kuno) For the shooting of “ROCKET DIVE”, everyone was supposed to cheerfully jump up, but hide had a broken foot.

(saito) He asked hide to pretend to fly and hide was happy to do so. Speaking of which, he thinks hide was a person who worked not only with his head but with his whole body. He wasn’t gig-headed at all; he was a physical person, and yet an extremely sensitive one. He was strange like that. (laughs)

What was it like when you came into the studio for “ROCKET DIVE”?

(saito) hide just smiled and said, “It broke”, and they looked at his foot and were like, “So it did.” It didn’t come as much of a surprise. Hide didn’t take his injury into consideration for its own sake, but he was conscious of how it affected their concept. He was someone who could adjust to circumstances and come up with new ideas on the spot, to make the best of any situation. And at LEMONed, they were used to accidents, those happened all the time. For saito it was educational, how even outrageous or unthinkable things could just happen.

(kuno) hide seemed like someone who had a clear idea from the beginning but didn’t get hung up on the details if someone else had input. If she came up with an idea, they would talk about it some, but after throwing her the ball, he wouldn’t say anything more. She doesn’t quite know why but thinks it’s because he trusted those he worked with to make something good. She wouldn’t have minded if he had actually told her so, too, but she’s grateful for the faith he put in her.

(saito) When saito was working at the office late at night, someone from HEADWAX might come and deliver audio data to him. When done with the pre-production of a song, hide wanted to let him listen to it right away. Saito now thinks he considered them friends within LEMONed and wanted to share the joy of creating a new work with them. He was like a child in this regard.

(uno) To her, hide had this childlike purity. In the dressing room of some event he’d suddenly start telling them about a baby monkey and how cute it had been. So small and so cute, he’d go on and on about that endlessly. It was adorable. (laughs)

Staff (Yamamoto): Recalls how hide said he wanted to see a baby monkey on some MTV program, so they went to a pet shop and he had one ride on his shoulder. He enjoyed that so much it seemed like he wanted to keep it.

(saito) This is something personal, but he often thinks about hide. When things are tough, he thinks about him and how he would handle it. He feels like hide set the standard for many things. They created a lot together, and hide send him his tapes and music right away. Maybe he was just being nice, but Saito feels like they connected as friends, as equals. When he remembers that, he realized just how important a person hide had been to him.

What prompted you to create TAMALA?

(saito) A lot of things. Saito had been thinking about what to do next as a creator even before hide-san passed away, but after what happened in 1998, he decided to make a movie. And so, he started. Of course, he wanted to show it to hide-san. He’s still working on it in 2008, but for him it was a natural progression to do this after he finished his work with LEMONed. It’s been 10 years, and LEMONed’s hide-san is still close to him.

(kuno) She thinks hide would really have wanted to see TAMALA. He wasn’t a model for her, but TAMALA, the main character of their story, is a cat who gets bullied and bullies right back, a flag bearer for everyone. In her mind, privately, there is a link to hide-san somewhere. TAMALA has been hurt but still carries the flag for everyone – a role model for Kuno.

Did you interact outside of work?

(saito) Not at all.

(kuno) They went out for drinks after work.

(saito) Just once for him, and not together with her. From the outside that must have seemed like he reasonably just didn’t want to go.

(kuno) This wasn’t something she got particularly hung up on.

(saito) That he got data and tapes in the middle of the night was enough for him; he didn’t think he needed to convey his feeling by getting drunk and going wild on top of that. Hide-san probably wanted to share some private time with them, but saito thought it was enough. Now he wishes he had spend more time with him. Hide-san was someone who worked in a very relaxed atmosphere and then went to treat those around him, but saito felt he always had to keep up the tension so he couldn’t go relax in his free time like that.

(kuno) They often worked until late at night and then went drinking. After hide passed away she wished she could have talked to him more and share the things she liked with him.

What kind of things?

(kuno) Just stuff like, “That jacket is nice, isn’t it?” Nothing special.

Other artist also often expressed that hide-san “didn’t have a lot to say about the work itself”.

(kuno) He must have had faith in them. Leaving their work to them without getting involved was just his style.

(saito) Beyond the concept, as long as they met his standard, he let his artists, musicians, and bands work independently. That was important to him. Creators had to be able to make their own decisions about their work. He had worked independently from the beginning, and so he wanted to give those around him the confidence to work independently as well. So saito feels that it was probably their own fault that they didn’t connect to him on a more private level. From his perspective, hide-san had almost no flaws – something that amazes him even now.

(kuno) This is not a flaw, but hide put so much energy into being kind and considerate to others that she worried about him, wondering how he could possibly balance it all.

(saito) He was like that.

(kuno) He was someone who was looking out for those behind him while everyone in front of him was having fun.

(saito) He only worked with hide-san for two years, and to be honest, he didn’t look back on it so far, immersed himself in making a movie to the point of blocking out everything else. About two years ago, he started reviewing hide’s work once more and found that it was not dated at all, especially “Pink Spider” and “ROCKET DIVE”, recognizing hide’s immense potential in it. He felt that way again when he got to make the jacket for RIZE’s cover of “Pink Spider”. But that was the potential within LEMONed. With X JAPAN and other bands there was a different kind of potential, so saito thinks he only got to see a potion of it. Even so, it influenced him.

You mentioned absurd ideas he had, do you remember any specific ones?

(kuno) There were no requests that were straight up impossible.

(saito) He was fixated on old men and women, using them to express a long span of time in his work. The idea to use old people on the jacket for “ever free” also came from him. “How about we use old people as icons in my work?”, he asked, and saito started to think about it. But hide didn’t stop at simply having old people, he took it to a point of amusement with old skinheads kissing. Then: “If they are skinheads, they should have tattoos on their heads.” Since they couldn’t do that in Japan, kuno-san went to L.A. for it.

(kuno) She figured it would be hard to find models willing to shave their head in Japan, so L.A. it was. When she held auditions for the job, the uncles and aunties were willing to save their heads right away. She figures that for older talent, the priority lay with getting a job. The auntie who had her hair set like a geisha for the audition came to the shooting completely bald.

(saito) And there they put on magic tattoos?

(kuno) With a writing brush.

(saito) He couldn’t go there, but asks if hide-san came.

(kuno) He said he would, but in the end he was too busy, so she went to show him the film after.

(saito) Did he leave the decision to her?

(kuno) He did.

(saito) Since “ever free” and “Pink Spider” were produced at the same time, they worked on them separately. He had a lot of fun with the PV for “Pink Spider” and how to make things look real using CG. As soon as the idea of old skinheads come up for “ever free”, he started to think about how to top it. Kuno said that there was nothing unreasonable being asked, but it was not exactly normal either.

Like skinhead tattoos. (laughs)

(saito) They had a discussion about what to do, since they both started at the same point and stage. It never reached a point where they had to reject something as impossible.

(kuno) It was hard, but it was fun. Since this was how he liked to do it, things kept spreading with ever more people suggesting, “Well, how about this?”

(saito) For “UGLY PINK MACHINE”, hide was really happy with the idea of the safety pins and the computer. There were things they couldn’t understand, of course, but those were two good years of moving in the same direction at LEMONed.

You also made various designs for the “hide Memorial Summit”, didn’t you?

(saito) Having to choose between doing a memorial of the past or presenting a look at a potential hide from the present day, he naturally went with the latter. Hide-san is gone and there is no telling what he would be like in 2008, but looking at a vast amount of photos, saito realized that there were many fans who wanted to see it anyway. He went with a version of LEMONed’s hide-san, but there were also a lot of fans of X JAPAN’s HIDE-san, and he tried to make everyone happy. Doesn’t know if it worked, but he put his heart into it.

(kuno) It was actually really fun. Because those old photos, especially the live ones, hadn’t been used much until then. After hide was gone, a lot of photos had been used in projects, but they only started to exhume the live footage then. Starting with the live albums, there are a lot of cool pictures, with him looking into the distance.

(saito) He had great eyes for that.

(kuno) You didn’t know if he was looking at the sky or elsewhere.

(saito) It was never sentimental.

(kuno) It made you want to look at whatever he was focusing on with him.

(saito) It gave you courage. The photo seemed to tell you that you can do more. That’s why he feels like it ended up being not only a memorial but also fun.

Is there anything you would like to tell hide-san?

(saito) He wants to meet him again. Only that. He doesn’t think this has anything to do with the occult, but he feels like he will meet him again someday, somewhere. That’s what he wants. And he wants to create something with him again. Anyway, every time he remembers hide-san, he looks forward with a positive attitude. So he wants to keep connecting to him through his work, dedicate something he made to him, and keep in contact this way.

(kuno) That’s how it is.

(saito) hide-san is present in the works he makes, in spirit if not in form, and he wants to be told by that work to “make more”.

(kuno) When she creates things, it gives her courage to know that someone like hide existed. She wants to make things that encourage others as well, just like him.

[turtleations]

KUMA: Never Ending Bond, Chapter 3 Part 6 & 7 (Translation)

Preface & Prologue Chapter 1 Part 1 & 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 Chapter 2 Part 1 & 2, Part 3 & 4, Part 5, Part 6 & 7 Chapter 3 Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 & 4, Part 5

31 December 1997, X’s breakup concert

From ‘95 onward, me and Shishô both were busy with our own respective activities, but as X’s breakup live on 31 December 1997 drew near, we once again met every day.

By this point, I wasn’t a staff member of X anymore, but when Shishô asked me, “KUMA, join us for this last time, please”… Until the day of the concert, we did everything together.

Due to the circumstances surrounding their Last Live, it was rare for all the band members to be at the rehearsals together, and so it came that I was the one to sing there as a substitute vocalist.

I still have that image in my head.

“KUMA, sing, sing!”

Shishô face and the way he moved his chin as he gave me instructions are still clear before my eyes.

It was just then, at that time, that I started to understand just how great TOSHI-san was as a vocalist.

I had done vocals before, but getting through those rehearsals feeling the greatness, and also the difficulty, of X’s songs… “X’s songs are completely different from what you hear, and performing them live is so difficult, I can’t even sing them normally.” That’s genuinely how I felt.

Another thing that left a deep impression on me in all this was harmonizing with Shishô on the song “SCARS” that HIDE-san had written.

On the morning of the day of the breakup concert, I went to pick HIDE-san up at this home. This is what HIDE-san said to me then, when it was just him and me in the room:

“X is definitely going to come back in the year 2000. Therefore, KUMA, make sure you’ll be able to sing X’s songs properly (for that time).”

That he talked about me singing for X was a joke, of course.

Shishô was contradictory like that… In a difficult situation, he would deliberately say things that distracted from the matter at hand.

So am I sure that this time was also extremely difficult for him.

Later, when I talked to YOSHIKI-san about it, he told me the same thing: “X will definitely reunite in 2000!!! Me and HIDE-chan promised we would.” So I have no doubt that the members were really planning to do that.

To Shishô, X was the most important thing.

As his solo work became his main focus and with those activities bringing good results, the public as well as the staff were requesting “more of hide’s solo work!!”

Still, X was always his priority.

HIDE-san’s solo activities had become a phenomenon on par with X.

But if you said so to the man himself, he would tell you, “I would have quit music if it weren’t for YOSHIKI. So the guitarist of X is what I am.”

Therefor, the breakup concert on 31 December 1997 must have been a very emotionally taxing time for him.

He loved X that much.

As for myself, that day was… Witnessing the disbandment of X, the band I had watched for so long, from the wings of the stage… I remember well that my feelings were so complicated that I could not put them into words.

And then the devastation of TOSHI-san and YOSHIKI-san embracing each other during “Forever Love”. Shishô couldn’t hold back his tears.

Later, Shishô said something about these lines to me:

“What they did hadn’t been planned… But, in that moment it felt like X had finally become one, in the end.“

After the breakup concert

After the concert at the dome, on the morning of 1 January 1998, I remember taking Shishô, who was like an empty shell, home.

A few days later he got into contact with me, asking, “What are you up to?”

At that time, Shishô was shooting the promotional video for “ROCKET DIVE”, and he invited me to come visit the set. When I got there, I was told, “KUMA, when we’re done, let’s go for a drink,” and with a grin he asked me, “It’s Sunday, but can you find us a place where we can drink until morning?” So I searched and searched, and then, I remember, five or six of us went to drink at a 24-hour bar in Minami-Aoyama.

“ROCKET DIVE” was the first single of “hide with Spread Beaver”, but… I think instead of using hide as before, they used this name because they didn’t want to make all of the fans sad.

Shishô may have talked about this in an interview, but HIDE-san always put the feelings of his fans first, and he always said, “When I was little, I felt really betrayed when my favorite band broke up, and sad. So I didn’t want to make my own fans feel the same way.” That’s why he named it “hide with Spread Beaver” as if it were a band name, even though it was a solo project.

The reason why “hide with Spread Beaver” was announced in a full-page add in the Asahi Shinbun newspaper on the day after the disbandment live (New Year’s Day 1998) was actually out of consideration for the feelings of the fans.

Announcing your solo activities on the day after your band broke up… One could see that as a risky move, right? There was a chance it would leave a bad impression with people.

But hide-san was thinking, “I want to make sure not one single person feels lost after the breakup of X.”

He also said after releasing his CD, “I want to do what I can, so won’t you let me do interviews and such? No matter how small a thing, I’ll do it, since I’m a newcomer,” and he kept moving forward.

I had long since separated from X and HIDE-san to focus on my own band activities, but after “hide with Spread Beaver” was started, I helped out around HIDE-san for half a month.

That said, other than in the past, he had a solid management and staff, so even as I joined them I was very worried how I could help out without disturbing the staff that was already there...

Chapter 4 Part 1 & 2

[turtleations]

KUMA: Never Ending Bond, Chapter 3 Part 5 (Translation)

Preface & Prologue Chapter 1 Part 1 & 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 Chapter 2 Part 1 & 2, Part 3 & 4, Part 5, Part 6 & 7 Chapter 3 Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 & 4

The days of getting summoned by a worrying  Shishô

It had become normal for Shishô and me to work together every day, but around ‘94, that gradually happened less and less.

The band I had joined became more busy, to the point of being active around the area. At the same time, the members of X were living in [US] America for the sake of recording, and while I went to and fro between Japan and the US, inevitably, the amount of time we were guaranteed to spend together decreased compared to what it used to be.

But whenever Shishô returned to Japan, he would always call me over whenever something came up.

For example one night I was watching TV at home while Shishô appeared on Music Station… The moment the program was over, the phone rang and Shishô told me, “Hey, hide hide. I’m gonna be drinking in Aoyama now. I’m waiting, so hurry!” I was dumbfounded. He had been on TV just now, how quickly did he call…?

He didn’t only summon me, it also happened that he would suddenly appear at my place.

One time, Shishô showed up at my apartment without warning in the middle of the night after appearing on TV.

It was a day when the rain was coming down in buckets.

Suddenly, the door chime when “Ping-pong, ping-pong”…

Since it was late at night, I quietly moved to peer through the peep hole. But I had no idea who it might be.

While I was at it, there was a banging on the door, and a rattling, as if someone were trying to open it.

Eh? Who could that be, I wondered. I looked again and caught a glimpse of red hair.

Could it be…?

“KUMA, are you there?”

He rattled again. Since making so much noise in the middle of the night was a problem, I quietly opened the door.

As he came patting in, he asked, “What are you up to?”, immediately made a mess of the clothes and luggage in the room, and to top it all of, he flung stuff up to and including my futon from my 2nd story apartment.

“Stop it already. Stop it already, hide-san.”

Nevertheless, as if that weren’t enough, he giggled now while throwing around my CDs. Soon, there was no room to step, and a scattered CD broke with a cracking sound. I fearfully peered at the broken pieces.

I told Shishô, “Well… it’s broken now, isn’t it?” I looked, and the broken CD just so happened to be Shishô’s album “PSYENCE”.

When I said, “Hey, such a valuable CD, holy shit, how could you?”, Shishô said, “KUMA, stop getting angry, I get it,” grabbed the guitar that was in my room, sat down on the futon-less bed and started playing me the songs from “PSYENCE”, beginning with track one.

He played “Genkai Haretsu” and so on. But I guess he got tired halfway through, since he asked, “Is it okay to stop here?” and after Shishô stopped playing, I asked him, “Would you like to go to sleep (in this messy room that has no futon anymore)?”, to which he replied, “Nah, shall we go to my place?”…

After this, having no desire to return to my messy room, crashed at Shishô’s place for three or four days.

Chapter 3, Part 6 & 7

[turtleations]

KUMA: Never Ending Bond, Chapter 3 Part 3 & 4 (Translation)

Preface & Prologue Chapter 1 Part 1 & 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 Chapter 2 Part 1 & 2, Part 3 & 4, Part 5, Part 6 & 7 Chapter 3 Part 1, Part 2

HIDE’s determination, KUMA’s support

Just when it was decided for the members of X to all have separate management, HIDE-san produced his photo book called „Mugongeki“.

It was a “visual & hard shock photo book” published in April ‘92, and a work that faced various problems up to its launch…

At the stage where the photographs had been taken and the release-date had been set and there was nothing left to do but release it, HIDE-san was putting his energy into promoting it.

In the middle of that, suddenly, looking angry, he ordered, “Don’t publish “Mugongeki” yet!”

This is the context for how it came to that:

Thinking it would be for the best, the publisher’s editor-in-chief had set up various media for the sake of promotion.

Among those was the magazine “Friday”, but in their issue the concept Shishô had drawn up for his work had been presented completely wrong.

When he read that, Shishô got extremely angry, declaring, “KUMA, I absolutely don’t want that anymore. I did not make that photo book to be perceived in that manner. I don’t want to publish it anymore.” That happened at dawn. Also in the early morning, having been told, “KUMA, talk to the publisher,” I called the editor-in-chief.

That editor-in-chief had really thought he was doing a good thing and… since he’d honestly had no ill intend… But, however often I tried to convey this to Shishô, he was obstinate about it. “It’s not going to happen, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

I already mentioned it several times, but at that time there was no management staff, so it was just me and Shishô having to take care of every problem that came up.

Therefore, when this “Mugongeki” issue was added to it, it was really, really hard…

Since I had to do something one way or another, I asked the editor-in-chief, “As it is, that photo book isn’t going to be released, so could I trouble you to write a letter!? Even if he doesn’t want to talk to anyone, I’ll make sure he reads the letter, somehow.”

After getting this suggestion from me, the editor-in-chief assured me that he would do “whatever it takes”.

And so, after I somehow made him read that letter and also explained my own feelings frankly, we finally reached the point where HIDE-san was willing to talk to the editor in person.

During that talk, I realized that at the time of preparing for the media, the editor-in-chief did not understand why Shishô had gotten that angry.

Talking face-to-face, I came to understand that they had a “different understanding of the work”.

And so, they finally made peace and publishing went forward, somehow, at the last moment.

This crisis was one big problem in our badly organized management system.

But, on the flip side of problems becoming this big, this happened because Shishô felt strongly about his own work and did not want to compromise on it.

In that period, with X’s activities having stopped and there not being a lot of exposure in magazines, a lot of fans were waiting for new visuals.

In the face of that, Shishô poured his outstanding intuition and all the ideas gushing out of him into his product.

Shishô always asked me:

“KUMA, what should I do that would make everyone happy?”

One time it was, “Which hairstyle that I have never had before would suit me?”

To which I voiced the idea, “Why not try to raise your hair pompadour-style? That would be novel.”

Because it was a photo book that he had until then wrestled with and put a lot of thought into, he probably could not allow society to have misconceptions about it.

And isn’t “Friday” in particular a medium with a large circulation, a magazine read generally by people with no particular interest in music?

I think that’s why he would not allow an interpretation that differed from his intention.

When I started as personal manager; Shishô’s distress

“Mugongeki” was published without problems while there was no proper management system in place, and in September of the following year of ‘93, the visual video “Seth et Holth” was also released. [Note: KUMA misspells “Holth” as “Hoith” here.]

Due to the flood of coverage offers connected to this, a lot of the correspondence ended up with me, as the only one working for Shishô at this time.

Being around 20 years back then, it was a terrible time for me, driving me insane.

Since at that time Shishô was in a situation where he not only had to create his solo songs behind the scenes but was also exposed to the public at the same time, we created an environment around him where we built a good relationship to the chief editors of magazines and various people from the media.

Before I was properly appointed to personal manager, one time when the two of use were the only ones working together, HIDE-san said to me, “I’ll set up an office in Yokosuka for a while for personal reasons, so come with me.”

Through working hard, things had started to work out properly and we managed to get to a point where we could handle things just with the two of us.

Meanwhile, a personal office was set up in Ebisu [district of Tokyo].

Later, Shishô would take over as head of this office himself, but at this point, HIDE-san was terribly exhausted.

On top of being representative, he was also active as an artist, and due to Shishô’s personality, he cared for everyone working at the office, which of course cost money, and the constant discussions of interpersonal matters between the staff members were wearing him down.

At that point, he asked me, “KUMA, I don’t want to go to the office, please go to the meeting in my place.”

But I imagined something unfortunate in case that I left.

Therefore I suggested we work together to come up with a way to get things going.

But… because HIDE-san was a kind person, he paid attention to those around him and kept himself in check. That’s why he exploded when he drank alcohol.

At that time, my relationship to Shishô remained unchanged, but I was also increasingly busy with my own band and we couldn’t be together around the clock anymore.

On top of that, since he was also in Los Angeles a lot, it wasn’t like we could meet from one moment to the next.

Nevertheless, he always contacted me whenever something happened.

After talking about various things, he’d say, “You, you understand how I feel, right?”

“Quickly, come to America (where I am).”

I think at that time, Shishô was constantly pushing himself to achieve something.

Chapter 3 Part 5

[turtleations]

KUMA: Never Ending Bond, Chapter 3 Part 2 (Translation)

Preface & Prologue Chapter 1 Part 1 & 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 Chapter 2 Part 1 & 2, Part 3 & 4, Part 5, Part 6 & 7 Chapter 3 Part 1

The days of feeling lost with the separation from SONY and the changes in X

After that, in 1992, the contract with CBS SONY made in 1988 got cancelled.

This time came with a period when all of the staff from management were gone and it was only HIDE-san and me.

In that time, I really didn’t get any sleep… The work got more and more, I was exhausted enough to fall asleep anytime, anywhere.

The work I used to share with a bunch of staff rapidly increased, I was flooded with the communication on all the work surrounding HIDE-san.

Immediately after, just when the solo-photobook “Mugongeki” was to come out (April 1992), HIDE-san was beginning to prepare for his musical solo activities.

It was a time when Shishô and I were really working together and managing everything completely on our own.

Until then, while I had mostly been with HIDE-san, I had somehow ended up doing tasks for the other band members as well.

Now, there was the cutting of the contract with SONY, the separation from TAIJI-san, and… All that flopping around culminated in the activities of X mostly stopping, all the members getting their own personal management… Inevitably, I ended up with only HIDE-san.

That the members would all split up into their separate individual offices was something I heard in the living room of Shishô’s home.

Personally, in the beginning, I didn’t perfectly understand in what ways the situation surrounding X and Shishô was going to change. But when I saw Shishô’s face when he looked at me and said, “KUMA, the truth is…” I finally understood that the situation was grave.

According to what I heard later, the cancellation of the contract happened, apparently, because the SONY Music Group, that was their record company and also took over their management, simply did not meet their requirements. YOSHIKI-san had his heart set on an advance into the international market, and all the members understood that to do so, they needed to separate from SONY.

But the loss of the management office was a massive thing, and I think it left HIDE-san anxious as well, wondering “What now?”

In all this, HIDE-san asked me:

“KUMA, what do you want to do now?”

In that time, I had thought about a lot of things, and although my connection to Shishô did not change, there were, after all, those feelings that had made me come and see my beloved X ever since their amateur days…

Instead of saying, “I want to go to a new management with you, HIDE-san,” I replied, “If it were possible, it would make me happy to support all five of the band members.”

There had been no deeper thought or malice in that reply.

Of course, there was no reason why I wouldn’t want to go with HIDE-san.

It was merely that I felt like the X I had watched since middle school was changing into a different shape… I was simply frightened.

But, what HIDE-san said to me after I gave that reply was something along the lines of “It’s already become impossible for things to be the way they were before. So, what will you do, KUMA?” At that moment, HIDE-san looked profoundly lonely.

Thinking back on it now that time has passed, I wonder if this change to a system where everyone had their own personal management wasn’t a somewhat lonely one.

Back then, with X having been under the influence of SONY’s management, only very few of the people working for SONY who had always been around the members before would remain with them once the connection to SONY was lost.

Therefore, once the contract with SONY was cut, there was a lack of contact to the outside… And all talk of all kinds of work ended up with me.

At that time, I wasn’t yet 20 years old.

My mental state, and that of Shishô as well, probably wasn’t very good during that time.

For me, personally, my distrust in adults was growing, there were times when my head was racing and I couldn’t understand anything…

It think it was around that time… when Shishô invited me to come to an onsen along with Shishô’s father and mother.

I mentioned it before, but after separating from SONY, the communication from various places all came together at me, the phone rang non-stop, there was a mountain of messages on the answering machine.

Soon, I couldn’t handle it alone anymore, and when I was about to go insane…

“KUMA, let’s go to an onsen. I also want to take my parents on a vacation, let’s all go to Hakone,” Shishô invited me.

I was happy, happy…

On that day, HIDE-san’s father was driving, his mother was in the passenger seat, HIDE-san and I sat in the back as we went to Hakone.

All through the ride, Shishô was quietly reading a book.

Shishô really loved reading.

Next to Shishô, I was watching the scenery all the time.

I had been to his parental home in Yokosuka and got to stay over a lot, so this really felt like a family vacation, and it made me really happy.

In the ryokan in Hakone as well, Shishô and I were always together…

When the two of us entered the open air bath, there were several basins, and he pointed at the smallest of them and said, “KUMA, according to what I heard, this bath seems to be amazing. Let’s try it.” As I moved to get in, I got pushed from behind so hard I entered it head first with a splash.

It was the cold water bath.

As I jumped up in shock, HIDE-san was doubling over with laughter.

At dinner, we ate small dishes with everyone, but when it came to chatting over drinks, it was just Shishô and me.

For some reason, when it was time to sleep, everyone was sleeping lined up next to each other…

When we left, the enormous accommodation fee shocked me.

But Shishô said, “I want to take my parents to an onsen again in the future.”

I remember thinking that I wished I could show that kind of filial piety to my parents one day.

Chapter 3, part 3 & 4

[turtleations]

KUMA: Never Ending Bond, Chapter 3, Part 1 (Translation)

Preface & Prologue Chapter 1, Part 1 & 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 Chapter 2, Part 1 & 2, Part 3 & 4, Part 5, Part 6 & 7

Chapter 3: From the break-up of X to the solo era Even if time and place are changing, things stay the same

The bond between master and apprentice, unchanged by busy times

As much as I was with HIDE-san, after X’s major debut there were a lot of times when I couldn’t be with the members as they were recording aboard.

Still, Shishô’s attitude towards me did not change at all.

Like when he finally came home after going to Los Angeles for the recording of “JEALOUSY” (release 1 July 1991). With the day of their return having been made public, there were a lot of fans waiting at the airport… So many that the police had to be there in numbers and us staff couldn’t wait there for the band. Afterwards, because of this, staff and family were moved to a reserved hotel for the reunion.

When I arrived at the hotel floor, Shishô was sitting in a chair with his bright red hair. With all the staff and family welcoming them after a long time, I watched from a distance while thinking, “It’s been so long…” As I did so, Shishô said to me, “Oh, KUMA, you came! How have you been?” Even though we hadn’t met in a long time, he was still so pleased.

It felt like we hadn’t seen each other in forever… The moment I heard his “How’ve you been?” I remember my face straining with tension. Meeting after so long in a hotel, I almost started crying… We didn’t even talk much, but Shishô still smiled and laughed and seemed happy to see me.

Afterwards, we left the hotel, and Shishô and Shishô’s family and also me, just a small group of people, went to eat dinner in a somewhat high-end establishment in town, close to the house he lived in at the time.

The next story is a little different, but two to three years after moving to Tokyo, something happened that made me emotional.

That time, too, Shishô gave me his genuine support and looked out for me.

Honestly, such a warm person. That person named HIDE-san…

I, having followed X around all the time since I was in the third year of middle school, had no experience in dating girls.

There had been one or two cases of unrequited love, but those ended without me confessing my feelings.

In all that, there was this one person I really liked…

Before I knew it, I became friends with the group of people this girl belonged to, we hung out, ate together and all, and throughout, my feelings rapidly turned to love. But, in the end, I never just boldly confessed those feelings of mine…

Also, it just so happened that she was in the talent industry.

Other than in the more open present day, idols of that time were banned from scandalous behavior.

Even so, since we enjoyed talking to each other, we continued our relationship as friends without dating.

So one day, while on the phone with her, I told her, “Aside from the time I spend with X and HIDE-san, talking to you like this is what I enjoy the most.”

Me saying so made her very happy as well.

After that, our connection changed by and by. Also, she was understanding of the relationship I had with X and with HIDE-san. She understood that, no matter what happened, to me X and HIDE-san always came first.

And that meant I needed to tell Shishô about her. Her being an idol came with a lot of complicated circumstances, so even HIDE-san, who was more than family to me, I did not tell anything before I had been with her for two to three months.

But in the end, since I had no secrets from HIDE-san, I obviously did not want to lie to him.

When I told her so, she said, “That’s fine. I, too, think it’s better to properly tell HIDE-san about us,” showing her understanding even under these circumstances. After that, we decided to go meet HIDE-san together…

First, when I informed Shishô “There’s someone I want you to meet,” he said this to me:

“KUMA, for real? That’s a first. This is really great.”

After that, the conversation continued.

“Is it someone I know?”

“Uh… I think maybe you know her.”

When I told him who it was:

“Eh, really!? I’m happy for you, but is it okay? There’s a lot to consider, so you need to be careful. Because if you’re not, this could end badly.”

Even while he was happy about my first love, he still worried about me like that.

Actually, he was also very considerate when the time came to introduce her to him.

Going to HIDE-san’s apartment by car late at night, my heart beat hard with embarrassment as I felt as if I were to introduce my girlfriend to my parents.

When we rang the doorbell to his room, HIDE-san opened the door in his house coat. At that time, he usually wore sunglasses when among people and didn’t let them see his eyes, but this time he came out without them, wearing normal glasses instead.

“KUMA, have you been well? Come in, come in,” he said and let us through…

“Please, KUMA’s really always taking care of me. Well, he’s really been around for a long time… He’s a really good guy, so please take care of him,” he said to my girlfriend.

HIDE-san personally stood in the kitchen to make tea and all, but with everyone being so nervous and mindful of everyone else, the conversation didn’t get going…

Even so, HIDE-san treated us kindly like family without teasing us at all.

In the end, my girlfriend and I went our separate ways after that… In that time as well, when things didn’t go well due to various obstacles, HIDE-san was extremely kind.

In the heartbreak following my first love, when I was just sad and sad… I would call HIDE-san at five in the morning.

“Oh, what’s wrong?” he gently answered the phone. Even though it was a time busy with work, he listened silently to me talking while breaking down in tears without saying anything. At the end, he said, “KUMA, hold on. I’m here for you.” That really helped me and I was very grateful.

Speaking of gratitude, I am also grateful to that girlfriend from back then even now.

As a wonderful romance and a bittersweet experience, I still carry it in my heart today.

Chapter 3 Part 2

[turtleations]

Interview with JOE (FUZZY CONTROL /B, Vo)

Published in the hide BIBLE (by Akemi Oshima) 2008

Q1: When did you first learn about hide?

A: I learned about him in the first year of middle school, when friends and I played songs by “X JAPAN” in our band.

Q2: Please tell us what kind of impression you had at the time.

A: When I saw his hair-flipping, violent musical performance, I thought, “How terrible! Woah!”

Q3: Please tell us of a way in which hide influenced you.

A: I learned about entertainment and stuff from him. I think he was always thinking about what to do to delight the audience.

Q4: What did hide mean to you?

A: A veteran of my field. He’s a mysterious person who makes me feel like he’s always near to support me even though he’s out of reach.

Q5: How did you collect information?

A: He was always appearing in magazines, that was the main thing, and I was also looking for rare old videos in used record stores.

Q6: Out of hide’s songs, which is your favorite and why?

A: “ROCKET DIVE”, because it’s the best. I got a lot of courage from that song. Also, that guitar solo is on point. In high school we played it at lives over and over again.