#this is the end of chapter 4

[turtleations]

KUMA: Never Ending Bond, Chapter 4 Part 4 - 6 (Translation)

Preface & Prologue Chapter 1 Part 1 & 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 Chapter 2 Part 1 & 2, Part 3 & 4, Part 5, Part 6 & 7 Chapter 3 Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 & 4, Part 5, Part 6 & 7 Chapter 4 Part 1 & 2, Part 3

The two treasure-like songs we created together

The songwriting with Shishô that made me wonder, “What have I been doing until now?”

Having graduated from being a staff member of X and being active with my own band, talking to Shishô about music made me genuinely wonder, “Could I have put this much thought into creating something this deep?”

When I thought that… I keep saying it, but the realization was there: “What have I been doing until now?” It made me hate myself.

When we were listening once again to the phrase played on acoustic guitar as recorded on tape, Shishô said, “KUMA, this is what I mean. If you just break this melody into cords, I don’t think there would be any spread to it, because the melody won’t be open.”

While he said so, he made sure several times… Over and over, he used different cord for the same sound, and recorded it all over again.

In the things Shishô said, the things he did, it was as if he were showing all his cards.

I used to think I had been thinking carefully about what I was doing until then, but when I was shown that… I felt like there had been no originality, not even in theory, when I was composing a song.

The two songs that we were composing that way were “JET SPARK” and “STARDUST STORY”.

Looking back, I, who had been kidnapped to Lake Yamanaka as if it were a joke, did not understand Shishô’s intentions, since we did not really talk about it in the aftermath, but… I think Shishô must have figured it all out before taking me away.

I think it was probably to give me as much of those two songs as possible at that point.

A necessity that seems random. When I think back to that exchange, I can’t help but wonder what was up with Shishô’s characteristic “kindness laced with embarrassment”.

At first, we started with “JET SPARK”, but that song was a hotpot of melodies I had created and the cords Shishô provided for it.

The interlude, too, he made feel natural as he created it on the acoustic guitar… and even there, Shishô’s typical attention to detail showed up, and he put in magnificent cords.

In hide’s style, he utilized my strongest points, and added an original taste… That’s how seriously he took the creation of my songs.

“STARDUST STORY” is a song that was created by Shishô humming the cords over and over again. To the extent that I initially wondered if this wasn’t really Shishô’s song.

In the end, nothing got finished at Lake Yamanaka, and later I took it from there and kept thinking of extensions and compositions, and after I properly worked on that melody for half a year… This is the first time I’m letting Shishô listen to it in full.

Lake Yamanaka – The Aftermath

I went to Laka Yamanaka in November of ‘97.

It happened just one month before X’s final concert, when Shishô was beginning to prepare new solo songs.

I had been taken there without knowing why at the time, but at some point, there was something like a break.

Apparently, the people from the record company had prepared a day off at an onsen for hide-san, who had been working on his songs with a pretty full schedule.

When I heard all the staff members suggest that “we should all enjoy a reward for our hard work for a bit”, I thought, “No way!”

Having dropped everything when I went to Lake Yamanaka, I had no time to relax… and this was postponing the day of my return to Tokyo even further.

So I said to hide-san, “Please got to the onsen with everyone else. I’ll return to Tokyo for a bit and then come back here,” and then took my leave from Lake Yamanaka.

In the end, everyone was at the onsen for about 2 to 3 days, However, from what I heard, Shishô, probably in excited drunkenness, jumped from a car and broke his foot…

With X’s last live only a month away, the subsequent work at Lake Yamanaka was canceled in the end, and so Shishô and the others returned from the onsen directly to Toyko.

After that, I joined Shishô in the city, where he continued to work without pause, but… the rehearsals for X were starting, and things got very hectic in this time.

As I mentioned before, I had been separated from X for many years at that point, but when Shishô asked me to help out at the end, from then on until the turn of the year, we were together almost every day, just like we had been in the past.

Also… on the 1st of February 1998, the year he announced the activities of “hide with Spread Beaver”, Shishô would go to the US.

“Kuma, you have to come to Los Angeles with me.”

“Come along.”

“Please come.”

Those invitations came frequently. In the end, because I wanted to get the two songs we made at Lake Yamanaka into a proper shape before I let him listen to them, I told Shishô, “I’ll make it there as soon as I finished the pre-production in Japan,” and planned to get to Los Angeles later. On the day of his departure, I did some shopping for him and then went to hide-san’s house. We went to Narita Airport together, and at the departure gate I saw him off with a “See you soon, I’ll be in L.A. in no time!!” and waved after hide-san until he disappeared from sight. After that, at its worst, I would get calls from hide-san in L.A. every thirty minutes.

I was aware that Shishô was struggling with a few things, but since I really wanted to finish those two songs he had worked on for me at Lake Yamanaka, so I could take them along… I thought that I would make it to L.A. no later than the end of February.

But in the end, I didn’t go at all.

The reason is that when I returned to Kumamoto for a day to renew my expired passport, the car I was in the passenger seat of was in an accident, and I was rushed to the hospital and admitted there…

That happened on the 25th of February. I had planned to leave on the 26th, and already had my plane ticket, too.

I had promised Shishô that I would come and thought that I had to get to the US no matter what, so even with an immobile leg, I managed to sneak out of the hospital.

There was an uproar at the hospital because of this.

In the end, Shishô’s mother contacted me, and told me, “KUMA-chan, what are you doing? Hideto is worried, saying that no matter what you are up to, you need to get well first! So please just go straight back to the hospital.” These words send me straight back to the hospital on crutches.

After that, Shishô called me at the hospital as well…

I remember us talking about a lot of things.

In the end, Shishô returned to Japan without me ever making it to Los Angeles.

Parting with hide – the reality

To me, 1998 would become a year I would never forget. X separated and Shishô started his solo project, and then… we parted ways.

I couldn’t move, and my trip to the US that I had been supposed to undertake with Shishô was canceled…

A few months after that…

Since that day eleven years ago, my life had changed drastically.

Even when I think about it now, my memories of the time after the turn of the year are somewhat muddled.

To be honest, there is a version of me who still really, really hasn’t been able to figure out his feelings.

Shishô himself seemed to often touch on subjects like “life and death” in his lyrics, as he was a person who always carried these themes in his awareness…

For example, lines like “When your body is dead and turned to ashes, someone is going to evaluate you…”

Thinking of it this way, a part of me was trying to come to terms with Shishô’s departure, while another part of me couldn’t accept it… Now I think I can never find the answer while I am still in this world…

In May ‘98, I was overwhelmed by the feeling of not understanding what the hell was going on, or even who I was. My reason for being.

At that time, I think I caused the important people around me, including my parents, a great deal of worry.

All those around me did their best to make me feel better.

From then on, I had no choice but to live my life convincing myself that I needed to be reborn, little by little, and that like that I would surely make it through this.

No matter how many years go by, even now, eleven years later, those feelings are still the same.

“The repeating seasons keep leaving me behind. I have to get going…”

[moby-dick-one-sentence-at-a-time]

The rest of his toilet was soon achieved, and he proudly marched out of the room, wrapped up in his great pilot monkey jacket, and sporting his harpoon like a marshal's baton.

1 billion notes and i free him

[chloesimaginationthings]

This goes out to poppy playtime pianosaurus enjoyers

[dovewingkinnie]

YARNABYYYYYYY

[mikachusblog]

⋆˚꩜｡🎓⋆.˚

[semageon]

listen if I sneak into Mob with a big trenchcoat and stuff them all into my pockets I can give them all happier endings-

[cupophrogs]

Thou hast not half the power to do me harm as I have to be hurt.

Prev || Next

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[kalwithatrenchcoat]

Golden Summer Doey || Tropical, Sun-kissed, and Summertime 2025

Doey and his family are invited by the Heelers to go for a holiday at the beach. He would love to give the toys a good and relaxing time with their canine friends, planning what to do to have some enjoyment in advance for the upcoming summer vacation. One problem though, Doey finds it hard to find his kind of fun without "ruining" the big summer gathering.

CLOSE-UP SHOTS WITHOUT TEXT

[cosmic-nia]

I WOULD DIE FOR HIM.

[kowtownart]

Made a thing for my bestie @the-spam-specialist ‘s latest fic: Hollow words!

The last couple chapters just came out today and, no spoilers, they’re gonna be great!!!

[car-o-line]

REQUEST ALERT!! What about Doey with a player who is a perfectionist?(Gets hard on themselves when they mess up.) ( I’M 100% SERIOUS WHEN I SAY THIS, BUT I AM NOT TRYING TO ENCOURAGE THIS BEHAVIOR! THIS IS A WAY TO SHOW PEOPLE THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO GO THROUGH THIS! Which it makes me sad :( ) sincerely, a person named Aiden!!

I REMEMBER YOU AIDEN😈😈😈😈 ALSO LIKE WHAT AIDEN SAID THIS IS NOT ENCOURAGING THIS BEHAVIOR I LOVE YOU GUYS STAY SAFE<3333

Doey with a reader who is a perfectionist

Big dough man was, well obviously learned about you from Poppy. She told him how perfect you were. How you did everything perfectly and without flaw.

He was quite surprised but also intrigued by you because Poppy never really gave him such a high stander for anyone in the facility.

He started searching for you, and eventually found you trying to escape from Yarnaby. He let you know of his presence quietly and lit a small fire to drive Yarnabys attention away from you so you could escape without the possibility of being harmed.

Once you finally came into contact with him he acted as he normally did, he still couldn’t trust you all that much but he wanted to believe in Poppy, believe her words that you truly were here to help(you weren’t, you just wanted to go home😐)

After some 1 on 1 time with you he started to notice the oddities about you as a person. How you wouldn’t let anything within your path be dirty, wiping even the smallest piece of dust off a toy whose life was long gone already. Or, how you’d restart a whole puzzle if you made a fixable mistake in the midst of it.

He thought your way of doing things was odd, I mean. He doesn’t believe making sure the chain is connected to the door perfectly is necessary. He thinks a lot of the things you do are unnecessary actually-

But the souls inside the toy just believed that those little habits were just small quirks about you.

“Safe Haven is right ahead..I’ll have Kissy show you around.”

“🙂, 😐, 😦, 😧, 😬.”

(that was you when you saw Safe Havens state)

He noticed your reaction and gave a playful giggle towards it, mentioning how it wasn’t the cleanest because he didn’t have the time TO clean it.

You immediately offered to do it for him, it wasn’t that you were upset or angry with him, it’s just that you yourself couldn’t stay in a place so messy without wanting to bang your head against a wall.

He denied, of course. He didn’t want you cleaning after him and the others but you insisted. So instead of putting more attention to that subject, he switched it and brought you to Poppy where she’d speak more on what the plan was. But before she gives you more tasks to do, Doey suggests that you take a rest. “You’ve been working too hard and you’ll get too tired to do anything else,” he’d say.

Poppy, thankfully, was fond of that idea as well. She also told Doey it’d be best for everyone in Safe Haven to rest too(something they can finally agree on💀)

You were hesitant because since you’re down here already instead of where you’re actually supposed to be to be- cough cough home cough cough chapter 2 ending- and you just wanted to get all this mess fixed up as soon as possible.

But you had really no choice on the matter, you were afraid of going out in the danger again without a partner to go with. So just following what Poppy and Doey say are you best option.

Though while everyone was resting, you just couldn’t seem to do so yourself. You just couldn’t fall asleep somewhere so meet, not when someone could actually do something about it and clean it.

So that’s what you did, you spent the whole night cleaning and throwing trash away to the best of your ability. Even if something seemed impossible to clean because of how dirty it was you didn’t give up because it just felt wrongly to leave something imperfect.

You even took the time to wipe off any and all dirt off of most of the sleeping toys. Gently using a wet clothing to get them clean again.

Once everyone awoke the toys were pleasantly surprised to be cleaned, like they just took a “shower” but as a toy.

Doey was actually quite saddened by what you did, don’t get him wrong though. He appreciates it truly, but the result was that he didn’t get to help you and that you didn’t get a wink of sleep.

Matthew was the most worried about your habit of making sure everything’s perfect. He’d remind you that even if the thing wasn’t flawless that it could still serve its purpose. He doesn’t like when you insist on working on something past evening just because you don’t think it’s good enough, he doesn’t like that you don’t you’re good enough. In the end he’s try his best to reassure you that you’re doing the best you can in this situation, and that’s all that matters.

Kevin thinks your mindset is just plan unnecessary. Like, why are you brushing kissy fur until she looks brand new? She’ll get dirty anyway. What’s the point? He doesn’t see why you do the things you do, but once he gets slightly closer with you, he starts to get used to it. He wouldn’t find that concerning because he hasn’t talked to many actual people since he got transferred to Doey. He wouldn’t know what’s concerning and what’s not unless you were just psychotic. Which, you weren’t(maybe, who knows🥳)

Jack is more playful about the whole thing tbh. He thinks it’s funny how you rush around to make sure everything is in order. But he gets somewhat whiny when he asks you to draw a picture of Doey or Poppy and you throw a hissy fit because you drew an imperfect circle for the head, or it just doesn’t look like the Mona Lisa. He giggles when that happens, he doesn’t mean to but when you actually get really upset he worry’s and holds you hand, then tells you that you did good.

[spaced-out-tiger]

Sketchy comic with Doey and Riley (my player OC)! I kept seeing things about the book that was in a scrapped side quest (why must you take these things away from us MOB-) so I decided to make a comic with it! I’m still trying to figure out how to draw Doey (and Riley if I’m being honest-) but I thought it turned out good enough and have decided to throw it in here :D

Translation!:

Riley: Oh yeah, before I forget-

I got that book you talked about!

It’s a…little roughed up.

But! It’s still good to read!

Sorry it took me so long to get it

That ‘Docter’ dude wouldn’t stop ranting. (So annoying…)

Doey: Thank you, Riley.

Riley: Of course.

Doey: You wanna help me read it to the others?

Riley: Ah-

- - -

Ending/Bonus :3

[twilightkitkat]

Part 3 of thinking about the reaction another universe's Logan would have to meeting Wade. To Wade and Logan's relationship.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

---

Logan hadn't left Wade's side since he got here. Eventually, Wade managed to convince him to calm down enough that he could briefly explain to the X-men that this was his Logan, the one from his universe, who came looking for him.

His Logan hovered close to him, practically plastered to his side as if he'd disappear the second he took his eyes off him. Other-Logan was nowhere to be seen.

Eventually, they returned to Wade's room for the night. The X-men offered Logan a room of his own, but he point-blank refused.

When Wade crawled into the twin-sized bed (which definitely wasn't big enough to comfortably fit two people), Logan slipped under the covers behind him. Logan pressed his nose to Wade's neck and released a shaky breath of relief.

He could finally relax now that he was alone, away from the probing crowd that reminded him too much of memories he'd rather leave in the past. Now that he could focus on Wade. His scent, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, and the sound of his breathing.

The exhaustion hit Logan like a truck. He'd barely gotten any sleep in the past month Wade's been missing, and when he did it was fitful and left him feeling inexplicably more tired when he awoke. He didn't realize how much he depended on the comfort of Wade's presence to sleep until it was gone.

(When he was alone, it reminded him of being back in his universe. Of waking up in the middle of the night, claws unsheathed, breathing wildly. Of realizing he was completely alone, that everyone he cared about was dead. Of popping open a bottle of liquor just to silence the noise of his own thoughts.)

Wade reminded him that he was in a new universe, now. That he wasn't alone. Logan wrapped his arms around him, securely (tight enough to not let him escape) and finally, finally, let himself breathe.

Wade hummed, content at feeling the hot breath of Logan on his neck as he drifted off to sleep. For the first time in a month, he felt warm. He felt safe. He felt comforted, knowing that Logan was here with him. Apparently having a life-sized human heater spoiled him and made it difficult to stomach sleeping alone.

They both fell asleep, comforted by the familiarity of each other's presence.

(It was the best sleep either of them had in weeks.)

---

The aftermath was just a little bit awkward.

Logan hardly left his side, warily glaring at anyone who came to disturb their peace as they went about their day. He seemed to still be on edge around the other X-men (and anyone who wasn't Wade in general).

Wade was sure it would be difficult for him to interact with them, too, if he'd seen and come to terms with all of their deaths. Of being responsible for the downfall of an alternate version of them. It must be jarring to see them alive and well, to see a distortion of the future he could've had with caricatures of his friends.

(It made Wade a little anxious to think that Logan was remembering it all. Reminiscing on a better time before Wade came and took him away from his world.)

Despite the companionship they'd built, Other-Logan had been making himself scarce. Wade was a little concerned about him, but he was more focused on his own version, who'd been acting as his own personal guard dog. (If a guard dog was 300 pounds and a fully grown man.)

Still, sometimes when they passed by each other, he swore he saw that same look in Other-Logan's eyes. The one he still had difficulty deciphering, but recognized as meaningful.

The one his Logan had in the first few weeks of living together. After they'd saved the world. (Maybe even before it.)

(He tried not to think too hard about it.)

The other X-men were just dancing around them. They seemed to be unsure of how to interact with a Logan so similar and yet so completely different from their own. The only member of the X-men who knew about this Logan's backstory was Wolverine and... let's just say it wasn't getting out anytime soon.

It was almost funny to watch their attempts to start a conversation with Logan only to be met with short, one-word responses. Almost. (It wasn't funny to feel how Logan tensed up next to him, how he smoothed over his expression and put himself on guard. To see the slight trembling of his clenched fists. To see the haunted looks in his eyes.)

And so they ended up accidentally (or purposefully, on Logan's part) avoiding everyone for the first few days.

Wade hadn't gone out on any missions in that time. Logan didn't seem like he was in any mood to go out with the others, and, quite frankly, neither was Wade. He didn't realize how much he missed Logan until he was here.

(And a part of him was relieved that Logan was choosing to stay with him. That he clung to him tightly and didn't seem to be tempted to go rubbing elbows with the other X-men anytime soon.)

He'd managed to fill Logan in after they first crashed from exhaustion together. Logan seemed equal parts concerned and relieved to find out that he'd been stranded because his device was broken. (Because that meant Wade wasn't kidnapped or in danger. Because that meant Wade didn't want to leave him behind.)

They'd been sleeping in the same bed ever since. Anytime the X-men brought up moving Logan to another room, a nicer one with a bigger bed, he just growled and muttered that he didn't need it. One time, they'd offered to move another twin-sized bed into Wade's room so that they could at least have their own place to sleep, but Logan gruffly and very quickly turned that down too.

They hadn't tried to separate them since.

Even when Charles Xavier himself called Logan into his office the morning after he arrived, Logan didn't seem to consider leaving Wade behind as an option. And so they'd both stumbled into the office, suspiciously pressed close together, to report Logan's arrival.

Not that Wade was complaining. He'd offer to be Wolvie's emotional support teddy bear any day. (Even if he got dragged around roughly like a toddler who didn't learn to play nice with or share their toys yet.)

Charles had looked at them oddly, a mix of what could only be described as surprise and then understanding crossing over his face. He didn't comment on Wade's presence, nor Logan's insistence to keep him close by.

(He'd pulled aside the other X-men shortly after and told them to not bother this Logan too much. That he'd been through things their Logan hadn't and that he wouldn't be very receptive to their presence. To not comment on his relationship with Wade and to let them be.)

(It had aroused a mixture of confusion and suspicion among the X-men. Scott and Jean exchanged concerned glances with each other. What could cause Logan to want to avoid them, even in another universe? What did Logan go through to be so wary of them? To rely on Deadpool, of all people, for emotional support?)

(And why was their Logan influenced as well?)

After that, things had gone fairly smoothly. Wade occasionally still annoyed Colossus, who'd begun to reluctantly accept his presence (and who Logan was the least on guard around, out of all of the X-men). It drew skeptical glances from the other X-men, who were surely wondering what reason Wade had to be bothering Colossus, of all people.

But other than that, they mainly kept to themselves.

Until today, that is.

Today, the other X-men had finally managed to find a lead on the man who'd KO'd Wolverine and Deadpool, shattering Wade's pathway back to his own universe. Apparently, he'd set up a new base, this time with better-equipped personnel.

Seemed the asshole wasn't working alone. Of fucking course. When Wade wanted a fight all he could find were pussies, but It couldn't ever be easy when Wade actually wanted to go home. Just his luck.

It was large-scale enough that the majority of the X-men were preparing to go on the raid. Not a good sign.

Of course, Wade had saddled in and prepared to go the second they said they had a lead. And of course, by default, that meant Logan was coming with him.

They'd both rested enough, and while they were slightly on edge, Wade doubted that was going to go away anytime soon until they got back to their own universe. It'd be better to just rip the bandaid off and get this shit over with so that they could curl up on their shitty pull-out couch and eat leftovers and let themselves decompress from whatever the fuck this mission was turning into.

After a quick debrief in which they essentially went over everyone's roles and the layout of the base (or what they knew of it, at least) they set off.

Logan and Wade were paired together, luckily (well, most likely intentionally from the sharp glare Logan shot everyone when they began discussing their roles). They were tasked with clearing out the enemies and working their way to the main base, which was unsurprising given their tank-like abilities and healing factors.

Wade stared out the window for most of the ride there (and Logan stared at Wade) and before he knew it, they'd arrived.

And wow. The villains had really outdone themselves in the cliche base department. If the abandoned nuclear power plant was basic, the shady abandoned military facility was the equivalent of a white girl who liked Starbucks and listened to Taylor Swift. Completely predictable and not at all original.

They all split off into smaller, individual teams and, after a quick confirmation, they went in.

The henchmen this time were vaguely impressive. Well, impressive in the sense the typical office worker was impressive compared to a 10-year-old. It actually took more than 5 seconds for Logan and Wade to clear out the first wave.

But a run-of-the-mill decent group of villains was no match for Wade and Logan's teamwork. If Other-Wolverine and Deadpool worked like a well-oiled machine, this Deadpool and Wolverine worked like they were fucking telepaths. Completely in sync, predicting each other's attack patterns and weaving in and out like they shared a set of strings puppeteering them.

(It caused a few of the X-men to stop and stare to watch. It was brutal and grotesque and... beautiful, in way, to see how quickly they plowed through the villains. The X-men knew teamwork—they were accustomed to it, with the whole superhero team shtick—but not this type of partnership. This type of innate, primal fluidity that allowed them to move as one.)

Before long, with a suprising lack of resistance, given this was supposed to be The Villain Base (although, to be fair, they did have the X-men playing cleanup crew around them and taking care of the rest), they finally made their way into what could only be reffered to as some sort of fucked-up evil lab.

The walls were lined with shady medical equipment and some type of alien technology, and, to no one's surprise, the same fucker as last time was standing in the center.

"Nice to see you again, Deadpool," he nodded. "And... nice to meet you, Wolverine."

OK, hold on a second. He thought it was weird that this guy knew his name the first time considering he was, y'know, new around these parts, but he'd brushed it off. Maybe there was an alternate version of him running around (even if he hadn't heard of one despite interrogating an absurd number of people connected to the underground). But to know that this was an alternate version of Wolverine, just upon seeing him?

It's like the asshole predicted their arrival in this dimension.

Wade tensed slightly, and judging by a glance at Logan next to him, he'd picked up on that discrepancy too.

"Hey, Cable 2.0. Or should I call you Evil Cable? Cable the destroyer? Actually, calling you Cable would be an insult to his brand. How about generic futuristic villain #46," Wade quipped, trying to steel his nerves and school his expression back into a grin.

"I assure you, I'm nothing like this Cable you speak of," the man replied, calmly, "If he were similar to me, you wouldn't be standing here right now."

"Oooooh, scary, I think I almost pissed my pants! Quick, Wolvie, hide me, I'm quivering in my boots!" Wade ducked behind Logan, voice rising high from mock-fear. Logan merely grunted, but allowed him to hide behind him for the bit. (See, even Logan must agree he's funny if he's playing along.)

The man blinks at them, clearly unimpressed, before raising his gun. Okay, so they're getting right into it. Fun.

Logan unsheathed his claws and Wade gripped his guns tightly.

And then the fight behind.

This Logan and Wade had better teamwork compared to the last encounter. Their teamwork was down to a science, or a particularly bloody work of art.

Unfortunately, this time, their opponent knew their attack patterns. He was deflecting their attacks with ease, using minimal effort to dodge even while they ganged up on him.

This went on for a few moments, making barely any progress aside from wasting time. Until, a growl was heard from behind them—

—and another Wolverine joined the mix.

"I can you're struggling a bit, bub, let me help you out," he grunted, slashing at the villain.

"Awww! I'd be swooning right now if not for the fact it'd get me killed!" Wade chirped back, dodging a bullet that shot his way.

His Logan growled slightly and landed next to him, before murmuring, "Focus on the fight. Stop getting distracted."

Wade pouted in response but followed dutifully to attack the villain with Logan.

Their group teamwork was actually fairly impressive, in Wade's opinion. Which wasn't surprising, given that two of the members had near-identical fighting styles and both were used to working with him.

The two Wolverines clashed a bit at first, aiming for the same spots and directing annoyed growls at each other. But after Wade finally made them calm down ("Woah woah woah, ladies, there's enough hits to go around! This isn't Fortnite, you aren't going for the Battle Royale. Let's all work together, yeah?") they fell into a better rhythm.

They were holding up fairly well, even managing to make leeway and push the man back. They were on the winning side of the fight (which they better be on, with Deadpool and two fucking Wolverines trying to kill him). "Were" being the key word.

Because, right as they seemed to be tiring out the asshole, he pulled a move nobody expected. He leaped back, suddenly, creating distance, and grabbed a suspicious-looking metal device from the table.

All three of them exchanged glances and seemed to be on the same page: Do Not Let The Fucker Use It, Whatever It Is.

And so they all leaped at once, claws and guns and knives blazing, until the man sidestepped and with a clink had attached the device to Wolverine's neck. To his Logan's neck.

It folded out into a sickeningly familiar shape.

Fuck.

Logan's claws retracted and a panicked look flashed in his eyes despite his angry posture.

It was an ability-restricting collar.

And Wade had a feeling it wouldn't be as easy as punching in the code "7" to get it off, considering the futuristic, sturdy, and significantly more complicated-looking design.

The man picked Logan up by the back of the neck of his suit with an inhuman strength (had he been holding back, before?) and Wade saw fucking red.

Before he could think, he was unloading a full magazine into the man's chest and head. But the bullet wounds just closed up and the shells fell to the ground uselessly.

He saw the fear in Logan's eyes. At being powerless.

A reflection of how Wade felt, strapped to that table. Tortured. (Francis' voice rang in his ears. "What's my name?")

Wade lunged, trying to dig his katanas into the man's side. He dodged, stepped to the side, and blocked as Wade desperately, frantically tried to injure him. Just enough to let Logan go.

"Get your filthy hands off of him, you son of a bitch, or I swear to God I will tear you limb from limb like a 5 year old's shitty Barbie doll!" Wade snarled, a venom in his voice that made Logan's eyes widen from in his hold.

(A venom that made the Logan behind him look astonished, too. It'd always been him as the protector, the stronger one. He always had to carry the burden of worry, of solving the problem. And yet, here was a version of him with someone to do the same for him. Someone who would go to hell and back for him in the same way he had to, countless times.)

(That familiar ache was back.)

"I don't think I will," the man hummed, side-stepping yet another attack. "As a matter of fact, I'm getting quite bored of this back-and-forth."

Suddenly, the man held up a knife (where did that come from?) to Logan's throat. Logan, who didn't have his healing factor right now. Logan, who was just as vulnerable as any other human right now.

(Logan, who was looking at him with terror in his eyes. Logan, who had wanted death for so long, pressing himself against the barrel of his gun and fucking laughing the first time they'd met. Logan, who, through all the blood and sweat and tears and sacritice, had finally found a reason to live again. Logan, who didn't want to die anymore. Who wanted to live with Wade.)

It was like the world stopped turning. It was the same feeling Wade had felt the night Vanessa died, all noises drowned out and all colors and shapes blurring together and ohgodohgodohgod she's dead she's gone it's all my fault I never should've met her to begin with— but this was worse, somehow. It didn't just feel like the rug had been pulled out from underneath his feet, it felt like the entire fucking ground crumbled apart, collapsing in on itself, leaving him tumbling closer and closer to Earth's core until he's burned alive and swallowed whole. It felt like drowning and suffocating and burning alive all at once. It felt like losing his very foundation, the one thing he allowed himself to cling on to, thinking he'd never have to say goodbye. It felt like all his worst fears and nightmares came true in the worst possible way.

It felt like dying.

"Now," the man started, not giving a damn about Wade's internal panic and the incessant ringing in his ears, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way."

Why was Other-Logan just standing there? Why wasn't anyone moving? Why was nothing happening? How could the world keep spinning when it felt like his world was in limbo right now, powerless and dangled between the claws of a monster, threatening to drop him into its maw?

"You can let me go with your buddy right here, or I kill him now and you never see him again. Understood?" the man tightened his grip around Logan's throat, who began hacking slightly. The knife nicked his skin slightly, creating a trail of red down his neck. Logan hissed in pain.

Wade wanted nothing more than to tear his fucking throat out in response.

But he clenched his fists instead, feeling his blunt nails dig into his skin even through the suit.

"Wade, just let me go, you can come get me later, yeah?" Logan wheezed, barely able to speak around the constricting grip.

"But—he could—Logan, no, I can fight him, I can, I won't let you sacrifice yourself again," Wade fumbled over his words, unable to focus on anything but Logan Logan Logan.

"I'm not sacrificin' myself, just," his voice was rough and heavy, "let me go. You can't win, Wade. I'm not going to watch you die trying to save me."

"But—"

"You heard him," the Wolverine behind him suddenly spoke, putting a hand on his shoulder. (Wade wanted to rip it off. It was wrong wrong wrong, so similar and yet too different from his Logan. His Logan, who had deeper callouses. His Logan, whose hands were rougher and gripped him firmly.) "He'll kill him if we fail to fight him now."

Why was everybody else okay with this? Why did everyone else seem so calm when it felt like Wade's world was imploding, his vision was narrowing, and his senses were going haywire?

(Logan could get hurt. Seriously. Not just superficially. He could be tortured like he was. Wade didn't like knowing Logan was in pain, even with his healing factor, but without it? He could be killed. Even if the man kept his promise right now, who's to say it holds up in an hour? A day? A week? Wade couldn't even comprehend living that long without knowing if Logan was dead or alive. Logan could die and he wouldn't know, because he'd be outside of his reach.)

Wade caught Logan's eyes.

Fuck.

He was scared too, Wade could tell, but putting on a brave face for him. Trying to calm Wade down, when Logan was the one getting kidnapped. He was fucking pathetic. (It really was God's Greatest Joke that he couldn't die, huh?)

Wolverine tensed beside him, ready to hold him back if needed. Wade bit his lip until it fucking bled and finally managed to mumble, "Fine."

"What was that?" the man gloated.

"Fine," Wade hissed. "But I'll be back to get him, and I swear to fucking God, if a single hair on his head is out of place, I'll eviscerate you. I'll make sure you wish you didn't have a healing factor, because I'll torture you until you're begging to die. And then finally, I'll snap that shitty collar onto your neck and kill you in the most painful way possible.

The man seemed unphased. But it was a promise. A promise Wade would keep even if his life depended on it. Even if he had to drag himself out of his own grave, regenerate his limbs from scratch, claw his way out of hell, he would make him suffer if he did anything to Logan.

Logan's eyes widened from in the man's grasp. Wade looked at him, a dark expression on his face. Letting him know how serious he was. (That Wade would do anything for him, to keep him safe. To keep him by his side. That if he got hurt, he'd murder every fucking person involved.)

Logan's eyes shone with realization, a vague spark of hope. It made Wade all the more desperate to save him, to live up to those expectations.

"Well, I hate to interrupt the moment, but I really must be going," the man commented.

It took all of Wade's willpower not to lunge at him. Not to attack him as he picked up a suitcase and walked away, yanking Logan alongside him by the back of his neck.

Logan's haunted yet trusting (despite it all, he had faith in Wade, even when he let him get hurt in the first place) eyes were the last thing Wade saw before they dissapeared.

Wade wanted to go after them, to chase them, but he knew better. The other X-men weren't here right now. If all three of them barely managed to hold up against this man, how would the remaining two beat him? And who knew whatever other tricks were up his sleeves.

He was unpredictable. He was dangerous.

Wade knew this, but—

He should've been faster. He should've taken the hit instead of Logan (even if it seemed the man was targeting him to begin with). He should've been better, should've been stronger. Should've prevented Logan from being taken in the first place.

His knees buckled underneath him and he collapsed to the floor. The Other Wolverine startled behind him, dropping to the floor with him and wrapping his arm around Wade for support.

Wade felt the same, desolate, useless feeling wash over him that he had when he'd cradled Vanessa's dead body. He'd failed. Again. He had so much time to learn and do better and yet he still failed. It was all his fault. Everything was his fault.

He should've just brought Logan with him to begin with. Should've swallowed his fears and sucked it up, even if Logan did want to leave him. Logan was a grown man, he could make his own choices. He could realize that his current life, his life with Wade, wasn't worth it if he wanted. He could abandon him and Wade would have no fucking ground to stand on to stop him.

And yet Wade couldn't just fucking swallow his pride and had to behave like a jealous teenager.

(Would it be any different, if they came here together? If they were on the same page from the start, had time to plan and learn together? The man was so fucking strong that even if they had time, Wade was unsure if they'd beat him alone. Maybe they were predestined to fail. All because of Wade's incompetence.)

"Hey," Other-Logan started to speak in a low, worried tone, "We'll get him back. I promise."

He had a concerned and vaguely unsure look on his face, clearly unused to trying to comfort someone. Here's another Logan, comforting Wade when his feelings shouldn't even be a priority to begin with.

"It's my fault," Wade muttered.

"What?"

"It's my fucking fault. Everything is my fault. I should've gotten kidnapped instead. At least if he took me, I could take it."

"Wade—"

"I mean, it's no big deal if I get tortured. I'm used to it. At least I'd fucking deserve it for the stupidity of getting my communication device broken. At least then I'd be the only one hurt, and it's not like I matter anyway."

"Wade, what are you—"

Wade continued to ramble on, frantically, tears collecting in his eyes and threatening to fall down his face, "It should've been me. Logan is a fucking hero, he has a place in the world. He shouldn't be hurt just because of my mistake. I dragged him into this shit, into my universe, and how do I repay him? By letting him get fucking kidnapped and tortured on my behalf!" Wade had to physically force himself to not devolve into full-body sobs at this point, trembling underneath Logan's hand on his shoulde. Rocking back and forth like a lunatic.

"Wade, just listen for one fucking sec—"

"I should've just killed myself. I should've sacrified myself to destroy the Time Ripper, should've been strong enough to grab both the matter anti-matter channels and dissapeared from existence. At least it'd only be me who's gone, and Logan would still be safe. I never should've dragged him into my shit, I should've been long dead before I even met him. I should've had the balls to snap that collar on my neck and explode myself for real—"

—Slap.

Logan had honest to god slapped him. Hard.

Wade snapped out of his rant, holding his cheek as a deep purple bruise formed. He started hollowly back at Logan.

"Shut the fuck up," Other-Logan growled. "Don't speak about yourself like that. You don't deserve to die. It wasn't your fault, you fucking know that. We all were there, so it's as much on us as it was you. None of us could've seen it coming."

"Rich, coming from you, Mr. Blame Himself in the flesh," Wade retorted, scrambling for any kind of purchase in the conversation.

"I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to make me pissed off enough to let it go. But I won't." Logan took a deep breath, running a frustrated hand through his hair. He finally seemed to collect himself and looked at Wade, his gaze piercing and sharp. "Look, you... you're not worthless. Hell, you're the furthest thing from it. When I'm around you, it feels like I'm actually a person for the first time I can remember. It's like I can finally fucking breathe. And if that's how I feel, when I've known you for just a month, I imagine it's even stronger in your Logan."

Wade started to protest, but Logan cut him off. "None of that, bub. You know I'm right. You can't honestly be that fucking blind to not see the impact you have on him. On me. ...Look, when you've been alive as long as I have, it's inevtiable that you feel lonely. Of fucking course it is, when everyone around you dies and you're the only one left standing." Wade stares at him wordlessly, a hint of understanding in his eyes.

"...But you make it better," Logan settles on. "Do you see the way he looks at you? Like if you're gone, nothing matters? That isn't the look of someone who hates you. I don't, and he sure as hell doesn't. So stop putting yourself down when you fucking know he wouldn't want you blaming youself. You wouldn't blame him if you got captured, would you?"

"...No, but that's—"

"—The exact same scenario. But you're too stuck in your head to realize it." Logan groaned, seemingly lost for words to say. "Look, I'm not the best at this. At saying what I'm feeling. You know this. But what I do say, I mean. And I mean it when I say that it isn't your fault and he'd never blame you. I wouldn't. You shouldn't either."

Wade looked at him, at his sincerity, and for some reason he felt more like sobbing than he did before.

"So let's get him back, yeah?" Other-Logan asked, gruff and hesitant. It felt like a peace offering. An olive branch.

"...Yeah," Wade murmured, and let his body weight fall against Logan, who was beside him now. Logan wrapped an arm around him, hesitantly at first, and then more securely when Wade leaned into it.

Wade curled into him, thoughts running a million miles a minute.

(Where was Logan right now? How far had they gotten? What if he was hurt? What if he was writhing in pain, calling out for Wade, and he wasn't ther? What if he was tortured? What if he was dead?)

(...No, Wade wouldn't let himself imagine the worst-case scenario. Of never seeing Logan again. He wouldn't accept that reality. He couldn't. Didn't know to live, anymore, in a world without him. He'd once tore through different universes and escaped the void, all to save his family. He'd do it again in a heartbeat.)

(He'd get Logan back no matter what.)

[dovewingkinnie]

you pushed him too far

[justabeewithapen]

Draw Doey in his monster form

With Pleasure~!

(Added some close ups bc I am so happy with em)

[bunnybonesstudio]

Y’all ever feel sympathy for other fandoms and their plights?

I’m just sitting here, happy with my Cobra Kai and Stranger things brainrot.

But the Umbrella Academy guys are so sad right now. I’ve never watched the Umbrella Academy really, though I know people who love it so I’ve seen it by proxy.

I’m straight up considering binging it all just so I can write accurate fix-it fics but to help ease the pain the fandom is feeling right now.