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i'm bisexual and tired. rb if you're bisexual and tired.

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Dying for any IWTV Rps I can get my hands on at the moment. I'm up for pretty much anything but especially Paris Louis and Armand and any form of Louis and Lestat. I can do literate but I do prefer mostly one liners. Only 18+ partners please because I'm 18+. Like this post if you want me to contact you about starting one or just reach out to me 👍

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Dying for any IWTV Rps I can get my hands on at the moment. I'm up for pretty much anything but especially Paris Louis and Armand and any form of Louis and Lestat. I can do literate but I do prefer mostly one liners. Only 18+ partners please because I'm 18+. Please pop me a message if that's something you fancy 👍

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When the Snow Falls

A Hallmark Christmas inspired Wesper fic for @jackwolfes

Jesper Fahey, or Jesper Hilli as he's known professionally, is a trans actor sick of being typecast. When he receives an unexpected email from his father that debt collectors are coming to take the farm, Jesper sees this as a fresh start to not only get away from the acting scene in Ketterdam, but to help save the farm he grew up on. But when he arrives, he's met with Wylan, the handsome stable hand, and together they hatch a plan to fundraise.

Can they raise enough money before the deadline on Christmas Eve?

Word count: 20.7k

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Doing a gift exchange and writing for someone else has really reminded me that, like, I need to write for me. Sure, this is for someone and it's their prompt and I obviously want them to enjoy reading it, but at the end of the day am I having a gay ol' time writing it or is it stressing me out thinking that they're going to judge every word choice? I'm probably at a nice mix between the two right now but I think I really need to let go of the vision of them reading it and hating it every time I write a new sentence and just enjoy the process - because at the end of the day, it's supposed to be fun, that's why we do it. Anyway I love my lil gay boys and their christmassy antics :)

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An Unfortunate Misunderstanding: The Wedding

Fandom: Merlin

Ship: Gwaine x Original Female Character

Did she believe in fate? Now that was a question.

(Only took me a year and a half to get the wedding chapter out whoopsie)

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The Discrepancies With Ages & Timing In IWTV Are Deliberate

I wrote this long thread on IWTV twitter where I attempt math 😆. Sharing my thoughts & convoluted rambling here:

I’m sure others got here before me — But either way, here’s another obsessive breakdown 🤣 (And if my math is completely off, please someone tell me so I can delete this & go back to the drawing board 🫠)

So the question — the ages & dates for everyone seem wrong in Episode 7 — why?

… Because I think they’re supposed to be*wrong*

… Because Louis remembers it incorrectly … Because we’re on the odyssey of recollection & memory is a monster…

Okay, so in this interview we have two perspectives — Louis’ direct retelling to Daniel. And Claudia’s diaries.

Ep 7 —This is Louis’ point of view, told directly to Daniel. It’s Feb 1940. Before their Mardi Gras feast, the vampires all say their ages to the crowd at the townhouse.

Note, the birthdays aren’t exactly confirmed in the show except maybe Louis’ (more shortly) but for this to work, I’m assuming the same birthdays as in the books lore.

Ep 7:

Lestat, born Nov 7, 1760. In Feb 1940, he was 179. (Turning 180 that November, he says.)

Claudia, born Sept 21, 1903. In Feb 1940, she was 36.

Louis, born Oct 4, 1878. In Feb 1940, he was 61.

So—all good? No! 🤣

All these dates are contradicted by Claudia’s perspective from her diaries — or sometimes by Louis himself. Let’s dive in.

Ep 1: On the tape from the 1973 interview, Louis says he was 33 yrs old when he became a vampire.

Then Louis starts the 2nd interview in the winter of 1910 — implying it’s after Oct 1910, so Louis would just have turned 33 …This already contradicts Ep 7… But there’s more. Moving on —

Ep 5: From Claudia’s pov — the big one — the actual tombstone. This whole scene is allegedly verbatim from Claudia’s diaries — Louis reading that entry to Daniel in that ep.

We see Louis was born on Oct 4 1877, clearly written. Other important dates too — coming back to those.

But so— 1877 works with what’s said in Ep 1. Louis was 33 in the winter of 1910… So again, what’s up with Ep 7? Did Louis just forget when he was born? No — because it’s not just that inconsistency — it’s everything.

Ep 4: Time & details are blurring for Louis. It has been for a while. Claudia remembers Louis forgetting exact dates, in another entry from her diary, from her 17th birthday. Claudia asks Lestat how old he is.

Louis says, “160.” But Lestat interjects, “159.”

Louis isn’t keeping track the exact ages & timing for every event, even in those early days. But when exactly were those early days then? When was that birthday party? — We’re coming back to that! 🥳

But back to the tombstone from Claudia’s pov — Again, I found this image online. I don’t think the full image is shown in the show.

But the other important dates:

Paul dies May 3 1911

Florence dies Jan 19 1923

So first — Paul’s death.

Paul dies the morning after Grace’s wedding… In Ep 1, the morning after Louis pulls the knife on Paul, the de Pointe du Lac family is having breakfast. Louis has just said it was winter 1910, that night when Lestat first sees him—

At this breakfast that following morning, Grace says, “A month from my wedding day—”…

May 1911 is not a month away from Nov/Dec 1910 (or any month you’d call winter). And clearly the beginning of L&L in the show lasted multiple months, with all events btw when Lestat first sees Louis & until Paul’s death — not a single month. But Louis remembers it shorter, blurred together. Again — the odyssey of recollection.

Alright — so Florence’s death on the tombstone, Jan 1923. This all relates to the question of consistency of dates in Claudia’s diaries. The writers have already indicated there were some mistakes in the diaries with filler copy. Whether or not you want to believe that — FAIR — but based on everything I’ve seen & what ultimately happens in S1, it seems like there could have really been mistakes…

But is EVERYTHING in the diaries a mistake? That seems very unlikely…

The 1st diary entry is from Oct 28 1917, in Ep 4. That entry is Claudia describing how she becomes a vampire.

Previously, in Ep 3, in Louis’ pov, we see a date on the newspaper from when Alderman Fenwick is killed - Sept 1, 1917. In that Ep 3, it implies the riot in Storyville happened immediately after his death, so on that same day, Sept 1. So that night— Louis saves Claudia from the fire. And Lestat turns her into a vampire.

But then in Ep 4, Claudia is writing about her turning almost two months later…

Very possible there’s a delay between her turning & her keeping diary entries…BUT I think that also means there’s some ambiguity on exactly the date that Claudia was turned. We know that Claudia was 14 when turned. (Confirmed numerous times by cast & writers.) If her birthday is Sept 21, was she almost turning 15 before she became a vampire? Or had she just turned 14, and then became a vampire? … So she then was actually turned after Sept 21… Which is it? What year was she born?

Well, if Louis was right in Ep 7, and she was born in 1903, she would have needed to be turned BEFORE Sept 21, 1917, in order to be 14. But…that actually doesn’t check out with anything else.

Later, in Ep 4, in volume two of the diary, the date is 1921. (I cannot, unfortunately, despite squinting, figure out the month here — anyone?)

The episode then cuts to that scene from her 17th birthday … in 1921. If Claudia turns 17 in 1921, it makes her born in 1904, not 1903, like Louis said in Ep 7…

And then — the wake for Florence.

According to the tombstone, Florence died in Jan 1923. If Claudia was born in 1904, in Jan 1923, she would have been 18 at that funeral… And, she seems to be. Because soon after that funeral, Lestat takes Claudia to the lovers’ lane & she has her realization about her body.

She comes home that night and thinks, “I’m eighteen. Time to start acting like it.”

… Claudia was born in 1904.

Louis is wrong in Ep 7 about her birthday. And he’s wrong about his… (contradicted by his 1973 interview)

So…what about Lestat?

Well, again in Sept 1921, from Claudia’s diary entry at her birthday, Louis thinks Lestat is 160 then. But Claudia remembers Lestat correcting him and says he’s 159…

Meaning Lestat will turn 160 in November 1921…

Meaning Lestat was born in 1761… not 1760, like Louis says he is in Ep 7.

Everyone is off by a year in Ep 7, compared to Claudia’s versions of events in her diaries & Louis’ 1973 interview.

So why?

Because, referring to Daniel’s call out in Ep 3, it’s about the change of minute details AND the complete retelling.

I think the writers’ meant for the age discrepancies in this final episode to be a subtle, intentional & deliberate indication of this odyssey of recollection.

Details aren’t objective here. More points are going to be examined — cross-referenced.

It’s the monster of memory…

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I've been reading smut for nine years so you'd think I'd be able to at least write a little bit of it, right? And yet, the minute it comes to even a kiss scene I get all uncomfy and just can't do it. Lately I've been coming up with so many smut scenes I wanna write but I keep second guessing myself and feeling all embarrassed. Any words of wisdom from a smut veteran like yourself?

i've shared some advice on this in more detail before and also here but the key question i'd ask yourself is: why

like. why are you embarrassed writing smut. why THIS and not writing fluff or whump or very elaborate longfics. because smut is at the end of the day any other type of writing, with just as much feeling and action and weird messy fluids.

"sex is taboo and shameful and i've got catholic guilt" - so fair, we live in a society. but also, sex is natural and a 100% morally neutral act. i'd be surprised if this wasn't underlying some part of the embarrassment but at a certain point, if this is the key thing holding you back, you might just need to sit down and consider whether you want the hegemonic bastards that suck the dick of advertisers and snuff out any sort of difference to be the thing holding you back from what is already a transgressive weirdo hobby. accept that if this is your biggest sticking point, you might not be ready to jump straight into writing a graphic monsterfucking piss play orgy and might have to start with heavy petting and missionary that's more feelings and "i love you"s than descriptions of genitals. and maybe you need to write 10,000 kissing scenes first to build up the courage to write the word "cock", but that's never going to be wasted time. there's no race. you don't need to jump straight in.

"fear of being perceived" - you are the arbiter of who sees this. you can post it anonymously, you can post this under a sock puppet account you made with a completely different email, you can wait until youve written 5 million words and post it all at once, you can literally never ever ever ever ever post it ever. but don't not write it because of an audience that doesn't even exist yet.

"fear of being cancelled for writing something weird" - the ao3 block button is a beautiful, beautiful feature. if someone reads something they don't like, what are they going to do? nark in your comments? whine? launch a smear campaign? fuck em. you should practice good internet safety to avoid getting doxx'd anyway, and if you do literally the only thing they can do is complain, which means all you have to do to get them to shut up is block them

"i like what i'm writing a Bit Too Much and don't know how to process that" - 1) self indulgence is the fucking shit but also 2) the writing is the processing it. writing is a tool that can help you identify the things that get you hot or your underlying opinions on the concept of intimacy and love. and dear god it's fucking awful to be vulnerable but the benefit is very very worth it. also no one's gonna know if you have a wank because you wrote a fic so hot you turned yourself on unless you tell them, so if that's how you gotta process it, then that's between you and god

"it's going to be bad" - it will unfortunately continue to be bad without practice.

if it wasn't immediately obvious from this answer, the only reason i ever got to 'smut veteran' stage was because i got really really fucking shameless about a lot of things, including the fact that i cannot say sexual things out loud, sometimes turn bright red while writing smut, and have still been known to get so embarrassed by a fic that i have to slam my laptop shut and put it away because i can't cope. and i think that part of writing anything that makes you feel that way is acknowledging that 1) you're strong enough to get through that discomfort and 2) a little bit of discomfort is probably worse than not writing anything at all

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This is the magic lucky word count. Reblog for creativity juice. It might even work, who knows.

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So I wanna write an actor x techie au but unfortunately I know little about what goes into working as a stage technician (ie lights, sound, props). I know plenty about the acting side but not a lot for the bts. Does anyone have any prompts or info about being a tech person either from experience or just random knowledge that I could work into a story?

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i need a loustat fanfic were they're trying to be friends bc "it's the healthiest thing to do" (or smth like that, im giving you liberties). they both agree and everything is cool until they almost kiss and lestat is the one to turn away and pretend like nothing happened and suddenly the floor drops under louis's feet because is he not attractive anymore to lestat? does he not want him anymore? has he finally grown tired of louis? meanwhile lestat is obviously still very in love with louis but is also kind of afraid because he knows that they didn't work in the past when he was the one pushing louis, and he thinks he's pushing himself onto louis again when that's clearly not what louis wants (it clearly is but lestat can't see that)

bonus points if they continue to (fail) pretend to be normal about each other until one night louis goes to visit lestat's place and runs into some guy lestat was going to sleep with and one look into the guy's mind and it sends louis into a vampire frenzy because how dare he think lestat will belong to him? my lestat? after he removes his teeth from the guy's corse he realizes he could never pretend to be lestat's friend and keep what little left he has of his sanity so they talk and boom happy ending ensues, do with that what you will ;)

i won't be writing any of this so im kind of releasing this into the wind to see who catches it, have fun!

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The Other Pendragon - Chapter Seven: Shotgun Wedding

“I understand this will come as a shock,” Uther began, drawing a scoff from his son. “But I have picked out an appropriate girl for you to wed and I believe she will be a competent partner.”

He couldn't have a wife. Not after everything that had happened the night before.

Word Count: 3.1k

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So I realised I hadn't updated The Other Pendragon in 10 MONTHS! Whoopsie daisy ����😅

And someone, very much appreciated btw, commented saying they'd love the story to continue which is just so nice to hear because wow people actually read and like my writing and want more

And it was kind of the kick up the backside that I needed to get motivated but boy is it hard jumping back in to a story this big

Also, it's the most infuriating thing when you can picture a facial expression, you can make it yourself, you know what it communicates, BUT YOU CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF YOU THINK OF WHAT IT IS CALLED OR CAN BE DESCRIBED AS!

anyway, Arthur Pendragon is being a dork and I look forward to finally posting chapter 7 (eventually)

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Omg the dentist fic had me dead its beautiful<33 do you have any more gems hidden on tumblr we might have missed?👀

this has made me realise i don't actually have a defined masterlist for my tumblr drabbles 👀 they all tend to be tagged with "fics" ie can be seen here but here's a (non-exhaustive) list:

masterlists/tags

masterlist of 2023 kinktober fills

kiss prompt fills

trans crows content

general

rotty and specht gossip

wylan tries on jesper's earrings

marya meets her son for the first time

wesper making out (when jesper shuts up)

wylan gets mistaken for a woman

jesper bullies wylan about his silly little vest (SAB!verse)

kazper fake marriage au

jesper is a distraction while wylan tries to study

jesper very accidentally calls wylan a whore

matthias is surprisingly observant

wylan learns something about kaz

wylan and jesper are both jealous

angst/hurt-comfort

wylan has relationship anxiety

jesper comes home injured

wylan sick fic

colm teaches wylan how to tie a tie

jesper post top surgery

nsfw/horny

purple lipstick

the dentist au

jesper appreciating his pretty boyfriend

wylan is surprisingly bold as a one night stand partner

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My submission for the Bastard of the Barrel Winter Fic Exchange 2023

The thing about Wylan’s brain was that it was wired differently to most others. Loud sounds and bright lights overwhelmed and certain sensations grated and ground at his insides like nails down a chalkboard. It made him want to rake his nails down his skin and claw it off.

Wylan gets a little overstimulated - and not in a fun way.

For @bee-a-lover

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The Twelve Days Of Shipmas - Day Twelve

Fandom: Shadowhunters

Ship: Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood

Word Count: 900

It's their first Christmas together - excited is an understatement.

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The Twelve Days Of Shipmas - Day Eleven

Fandom: Shadowhunters

Ship: Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood

Word Count: 900

Alec thinks too much; he always has. He's been thinking about them - him and Magnus - and where they're headed.