vibesofesynce

[vibesofesynce]

Broken Pieces

I desire to fill your empty places  

To love your hurt away

To replace all the many faces  

That have come and gone

That have hurt you &that hurt remains

I desire to stay

With you- in your pain

Brokenness is where healing is found

I can't find my healing w/o you around

I pray you find the courage to let me in

If only fears subsided

And lurking in the shadows is "sin"

Dissipated

I'm elated

To be free with you

To be me with you

I'd risk heartbreak 

Just to feel your love

Your raw- unfiltered love

[vibesofesynce]

Mind's racing

contemplating

heart's quickly pacing

dreams I'm chasing

leaving behind pain

yearning for a deeper awakening

I seek to be sought

and I reach- anticipating arm's wide open

People asking how I'm coping

Patience a virtue- I bought

Price? Struggle and Strife.

I smile anyway

Heart's heavy

Inward Silence. 

Still. 

Tears

28 years

20 years later

17 years later

And it seeps through the dark crevices of my mind

Where I tucked it--- so not even I could find Words... transcending

At 12 I pulled through by putting it on paper

Ink, pad, and tears as chasers...

Back at it again...

Only this time- I don't plan on stopping

I want every sorrow on a chopping block

Every demon stopped

Every joy embellished

Every moment cherished

I have so much life ahead of me

I'll be damned if I let what someone said, done, or believed

Get in the way of my heart's desires and God's plans for me

I'm honored knowing His favor over my life has nothing to do with the hurt I've endured, but everything to do with His will to choose me.  

[vibesofesynce]

Smile

I hope you know how truly beautiful you are... It is beyond skin deep. You help me to see who I am by showing glimpses of who you might be.  I imagine behind that wall is serenity. A place where you run free. I want to meet you there and be in sweet peace. My thoughts dance to the rhythm of your heart. I'm not sure about the end but I'm embracing and basking in the start. I never would've guessed I had so much give. But you've given me so much life after all I've lived. My only hope is to see you smile... All the while we discover ourselves and each other. 

[vibesofesynce]

Secret Love

I have a secret *whispering*... My heart is yours and I can't tell you the time I gave it...From the moment we met you created a stir in me and I can't tell you when I named it...Date after date, disappointments, and misguided expectations...After it all, it's you I wait for in anticipation...If only for a moment, but I'm praying for a lifetime...A moment for your reality and fantasies to become one with mine...I desire more... I'm waiting at your door...Waiting for you to seek and find...Knowing I'd give you the world if it were mine.

[vibesofesynce]

Ecstasy

Breast upon my breast

Sweat upon my chest

My best gave her rest

I long for her touch

Yearn for her taste

Giving her more of me with each thrust

One breath, one moment 

She says, no haste

So I slow my pace

No longer chase

Or anticipate

Things of no matter

  I allow it to be the ecstasy for the nite

Be it reality or fantasy

It's all in due time

  And if it ever ends

I won't be surprised

B/c it has always been a foresight.

[vibesofesynce]

Trunelle

My eyes scan the quiet cluttered room. It's filled with various misplaced items. It's dark and cold. Shallow breaths, I see the rapid rising of my chest. My eyes water at the sight of the stuffed lion occupying my desk, sitting erect, mane wild. I'm suddenly light headed. I remind myself to breathe. Breathe through the pain. Breathe through the loss of memories as well as choices. Your escape from this earthly hell, somehow freed me from my voiceless cell. And tonight my ability to endure pain has rendered me helpless and deemed "strong." Strength does not imply absence of weakness, it is simply the act of persistence, even in the face of fear or pain. I'm not strong. I'm relentless. 

[vibesofesynce]

What if...

I'm too deep for sleep

And I think too much for love

B/c you want fantasy

I can only offer me

Or none of the above 

Time is of the essence

And you just determined the lesson

Never waste mine on you 

Blurred lines between lies and truth

Entertaining others for the sake of "what if"

No worries babe, I'll answer it with

✌Deuce

No, no truce 

We were never rooted

I've known my ideas of loving you were booted

I benefitted you with doubt

You wouldn't leave me out 

But you fooled me once

I'll be damned if it's twice 

No promises to be nice 

So I'll  say bye

Before this game becomes bigger than just lie

[vibesofesynce]

Oblivion

She doesn't even know 

The parts I never show

Like the comfort I find in the fear of letting go 

I'd sacrifice it all for her 

I don't need to know why

The rhyme or reason

The harder I try 

The more purposed the season 

Her eyes, smile ...

Make it all worthwhile 

The risks 

The shift From skeptical to trusting

No lusting

Just the desire to feel

Something real

Tangible, mine 

No race against time

Just stimulating the mind 

As I question intentions

Motives, but fail to mention

I want her

Allowing her freedom to decide

Praying our desires collide

UniteGrowth, love, in spite of

I'd still choose her 

Don't want to abuse her 

Want to pursue her

But the voice within

Tells me I'm not enough

Not the type 

It ain't right

Walk away

Instead I fight to stay

Yearn to hear her say 

She feels the same way

[vibesofesynce]

Authenticity

I hate wasting my time

You will never have to ask

B/c I will tell you what's on my mind

My heart---- that's quite a task

So if you get that 

There are no take/give backs. 

[vibesofesynce]

Here for you.I'm loc'd inTight

Whatever you need

Despite fright

I've planted a seed

I'll nourish until growth

You, me, the both

I want to  meet you where you are

From there we mindfully journey 

No questions Just day to day yearning

Fulfilled Instilled dreams

And realistic means

I get it

I got it

I'm patient

I will never know, if I give up at the first sign of defeat. Maybe my perception is not our reality. So I can't just cut you out of my life. I didn't dream you up. You clearly exist. I'm not here to take anything from you. I offer my consistency and honesty. That's all I can for now. On the flip side. This is perfection. Slow building. 

[vibesofesynce]

She’s Not Mine

My life had been a dwindling light

But you entered and like fuel to spark 

We ignite

No longer fearing the dark 

Silence and empty spaces

Filled with laughter and smiling faces

I want to scribe about you

Immortalize you

No matter what happens- I have this

This momentary bliss

Doubt creeps in like a thief in the night

Ready to take my hopes by giving me Sight

I see you and I shudder knowing you see straight through my mirage

Facades

That placate my mind

Just give it time

And truth. I know it.  

Better than I know me

Yet I whisper heart prayers for my desires to be

Exist

Amidst

This

You

Me.

[vibesofesynce]

She

She was beautiful 

because she didn't know it. 

I loved her 

but I dared not show it. 

[vibesofesynce]

Deuce Out

They want you to believe what they perceive

Turn a cheek to abuseAccept truths, even construed

Pats on the back Quickly turned to stabs

Compliments: subtle mental jabs

Desire is what I lack

I'm no longer full of passion

Locked in my office for fashion

Checked out weeks ago

When your eyes spoke before your lips parted

You are outsmarted. 

Lies don't have to be uttered or muttered

Truth is always there It's lingering and shedding light on your twisted darkness

I no longer care

You aren't pushing me out- you are opening doors

The less you say, I receive more. 

I'm not worried. Not stressed. 

I'm not even impressed

I'm deucing out. 

Put you on notice

I already know this

No escorts needed. 

No need for pleading 

Up next is

The exit ✌️

[vibesofesynce]

As my nose pressed against the hard wood floor

My tears left a trail of visible pain

My soul ached and I cried out in a language that will never be uttered the same:

 please God fix me. Like a feather floating-smooth and silent His voice amid the noise. "You are not broken." Sobs escaped from me and I yearned to be held by Him. Comforted. So many questions. "I have spoken." Peace greeted me like a hug from MadearI trembled, shaken by fear. I could hear all the things said to me before. The things I believed and had become my core:"You are a liar, you are a slut, whore, conniving and unworthy. You aren't good enough. You are cursed and that's why you go through so much stuff. Everyone will leave you. You will always be misunderstood and alone. "More tears pour at his feet as I lay before His throne. God please. I need you to fix me. I've been damned to hell, judged, attacked in your name, made to feel guilty and full of blame. Again I hear, "I have spoken."The heaviness of my heart is lifted and I rise slowly. I recognize my pain is that of yearning for acceptance and the reality is I was never rejected... Not by Him. And yet this pain is something I've always expected. Hurt people hurt people and I'm surrounded by the struggle. A family known for the hustle of surviving and making ends meet. Affection a misconception. Bread is love. Sacrifices to make that bread is placed above any physical/emotional connection. And we all grow up creating more pain, guilt, and shame. Rejection. I can't say I'm free. I do know He hasn't left me. He created me for this and no amount of bliss will distract me from the course he's laid out. Redemption's been paid out. I'm just a vessel. I apologize if you are confused by how He chooses to use me, but that's not for me to figure out. I don't have the master plan, my life is in the master's hands. Belief or not, that's not the quibble. 

Neither is  damnation. 

Love is not a riddle. 

It is the final answer. 

[vibesofesynce]

This!🙌

[vibesofesynce]

sHe

I remember her. When he lost her. She found her. Was scared to let her go b/c he would hurt her. He didn't deserve her. sHe knew it. He blew it. Just by being. Couldn't see for seeing. Only in the now. The moment. Blinded by past regrets. Scared of her future. She closed her eyes and tried to enjoy his ride. Side by side they both longed for more. To be more. More than this. Images of visions. But nothing more than mere speculation. Imagination. No passion. No love. Just routine. Day to day things. Dinner. Movie. An occasional directed hug. Yet sHe yearned to be loved, held, touched- without demand. And they all saw it. Refused to acknowledge it. They look so happy. No one questioned it. sHe would be sentenced to life in an ungodly matrimony. Nothing about it was holy. And it definitely was no narrative about Juliet. Yeah. I remember her. sHe had become a reminder of who she once was. sHe was more fearful. sHewas less confident. sHe knew shame. I try to forget her, but sHe won't let me.

[vibesofesynce]

Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you’re a good person and a good friend. What’s meant to be will end up good and what’s not - won’t. Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. Hopefully, people realize great things when they come around and don’t lose something real. Always fight, until you can’t anymore and then be fought for.

Your Daily Love Quotes (via thelovewhisperer)

👏👏