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[viv-heart]

Because i feel like i might be overestimating what the average is, i shall Conduct Research

This isn't about how many languages you speak, but how many youre able to count up to at least 10 in, since basic numbers are some of the first words you learn in a foreign language and sometimes you catch them without having studied the language at all

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I just saw someone say AO3 is “gay teens writing gay shit” and I have no idea how to tell you that most of the writers you love so much are adults.

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Literally going feral over this man

I love him and his ridiculous outfits

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[viv-heart]

10 fic recs with 10 Minerva McGonagall het pairings

10 Minerva McGonagall romance fic recs (m/f)

Selection Criteria

The main relationships in the fics are Minerva het (m/f) pairings

Fics < 30000 words

No repeat authors, No repeat pairings

I tried to go for variety in genres and ending types. Like any rec list this is going to be subjective based on my reading.

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[viv-heart]

Title: Alabastamania

Relationships: Nami/Roronoa Zoro

Rating: E for canon-typical violence and smut in later chapters

Summary:

During his execution, Gold D. Roger, known as the king of tomb raiders, declared that he found the lost city of Raftel, where the legendary treasure One Piece is hidden, and that the one who would dig it up would be the next king of tomb raiders. This event started the craze known as the Age of Tomb Raiding where many people set out for Alabasta to find the One Piece and battle among themselves. Monkey D. Luffy and his crew of Strawhat tomb raiders are among them. Too bad his second-in-command Zoro and the excavation draftsman Nami tend to push each other's buttons all the time.

ZoNa, kind of a The Mummy AU set in Alabasta

Warning: spoilerish for everything up to the end of Alabasta

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Look, I made an art Insta! Based on this cosplay by @theilusoman https://www.instagram.com/p/Bsj6TqYDSqW/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1ui2dfpvkym95 #spiderman #spidermanfanart #spidermanart #spidey #marvel #marvelfanart #marvelfan #marvelart #peterparker #spideyfan https://www.instagram.com/p/BtGhb9eHZ8F/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1kx2ac0dms02b

[viv-heart]

Heeey! Dramione and "You aren't a good person, face it!" please. Thank you 💚💚💚

The argument had started off mildly enough.  In fact, the whole evening started off with a veneer of civility.  Ron took the last chair at the table, and when Hermione came back from the bar, her hands full of drinks, she had to squeeze in next to Draco Malfoy on the bench the pub had decided made up in indestructibility what it lacked in comfort.  He wasn’t thrilled, but he moved over to make room because it was the only polite thing to do, and she said all the requisite things about how sorry she was and this place was too tight, and he was very kind to make room for her.  

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A drawing excercise turned into Hermione

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I am Groot.

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beck & call

pairing: hermione granger x draco malfoy

setting: modern, non-magical, con artist au

word count: 1315

written for: @kkazbreker

Salazar’s, it’s called.

The sign affixed to the display window reads “PIZZA – PASTA – SALADS – TO-GO” in blinking, tacky purple neon letters, and the tables inside are covered in checkered red-and-white vinyl, squat little plastic shakers of parmesan and red pepper flakes tucked between the oil and vinegar in the center. A Kentucky Derby poster is framed on the wall beside the swinging “STAFF ONLY” door, Robert De Niro’s looping Sharpy signature highlighted with a small bronze plaque, and enormous bottles of Chianti, necks cobwebbed, labels faded, are lined up on a rickety cast-iron shelf next to the hostess stand.

It isn’t the kind of restaurant anyone would go to twice; not on purpose, at least.

Two and a half stars on Yelp, thirty-five reviews, eight customer photos—four of which are of the menu, blurry and pesto-stained, with a plate of anemic-looking shrimp scampi lurking in the background.

It’s nondescript.

Forgettable.

Hermione knows better.

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[viv-heart]

Someone needs to tell me what gods y’all are praying to in order to get reviews on fanfics these days. Come on, kids, I know it involves blood sacrifice.

[viv-heart]

Prompt: "Draco was no stranger to hiding bodies. He'd been in the Death Eaters after all. But never in his life did he think he'd be hiding a body for Granger."

Draco was no stranger to hiding bodies. He’d been in the Death Eaters after all. But never in his life did he think he’d be hiding a body for Granger.  A heavy body, too.  She had the feet, and he had the shoulders, and he was walking backward into the Forbidden Forest cursing whatever had made him decide it would be a good idea to take a jaunt up to Hogwarts, visit the place, rid himself of some demons.  Now he had a new demon.  And a body.

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penalty shot

pairing: hermione granger x draco malfoy

setting: modern, non-magical, single parent au

written for: @brightki [merry early xmas!!!!! i love you etc

It’s corporate tax season, so it takes Hermione a couple of days to notice that something has gone terribly wrong.

“Max,” she says slowly, staring at the crayon-smeared drawing stuck to the front of the refrigerator. It’s new. The drawing, not the refrigerator. The refrigerator has a ten-year manufacturer’s warranty. The refrigerator is not the problem. “Max, what is…where did you…is that a hockey stick?”

Max pokes at a tepid strip of grilled chicken with the blunted tines of his baby blue spork. His nose is scrunched up in disgust, and he keeps glancing at the cookie jar on the counter with transparently calculated longing.

“Yes,” he finally says, swinging his legs. “We played with Scorpion’s daddy.”

“Scorpius,” Hermione automatically corrects, even as she inwardly sneers. Scorpius. Honestly. Why not just tack on an –aiden at the end and be done with it? “You played with Scorpius’s daddy.” She blinks. “Wait. What?”

Max shrugs. “I shot a fuck.”

“Puck,” Hermione bleats, dropping her spoon into her own bowl of meticulously fluffed quinoa. “You shot a puck, sweetheart.”

“Puck,” Max repeats dutifully, leaning forward to slurp at his chocolate milk. “I love hockey.”

“What? Since when?”

“Scorpion’s daddy plays hockey on TV.”

“I…yes, I know,” Hermione says, dumbfounded and more than a little appalled. “Believe me, sweetheart, everyone knows. Did he—so, he came to your school? To play…hockey?”

“My stick was red,” Max replies sagely. “I love red.”

Hermione’s nostrils flare as she reaches for her wine glass. “Oh, yeah?” She swallows an enormous gulp of Chardonnay and furiously tries to remember the name of the Netflix documentary about concussion rates in youth contact sports. “And what color was your helmet? Was that red, too?”

Max sniffs and puffs his cheeks out, flipping a carrot medallion around and around the edge of his plate. His eyes are big and brown and utterly without mercy as he twists in his chair to look expectantly at the cookie jar.  

“Mommy, what’s a helmet?”

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[viv-heart]

LISTEN TO ME, AND STOP BEING FUCKING BITCHES

IF AN AUTHOR HAS TAKEN DOWN THEIR WORK BECAUSE WHATEVER

AND HAS SPECIFICALLY EXPRESSED THAT THEY DON’T WANT THEIR WORK(s) DISTRIBUTED ANYWHERE

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SHARE THE DOCUMENT OF THE DOWNLOADED WORK !!

N O  R I G H T, SIMPLY BECAUSE IT WAS ONCE ONLINE AND REACHABLE BY ANYONE

RESPECT THE DAMN AUTHORS