w4nderllust

[w4nderllust]

𝐀𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄.

𝚠𝟺𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝓟𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬... ☆ 𝐀𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄

⤷ myung jaehyun x black! fem reader 💗

𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘴, 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘳. 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘯— [𝘕𝘢𝘮𝘦] 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘥, 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘶𝘯𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘺 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳, 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘪�� 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘳? 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮?

CW: Heavy Angst, Tooth— rotting fluff, religious talk, suggestive content, kissing, suicidal references, hugging ect.

my first kpop fanfic! :3

1/5

It was a gloomy day; [Name] The cloudy skies painted a dull cadet grey, no clouds or Gods creatures to be unearthed thence it compliments how the white specks trickle mixed with rain — thus, the way drift in the air gently from the heavens above as it falls on her mini ebony cooper and the ground below as it pours on the young couple whom struts by holding hands as their sweet laughter fills the quiet estate. her body leans on the large metal pole as it stuck to the side of the wall — her right hand twiddles the unlit cigar like it was some precious jewel worth 10k she stored it away since her puppy got sick contemplating wether to smoke it.

Her eyes are fixated on the young couple hugging — his arms snake around her lower body tugging her in closer as if she will disappear, he began swinging her side to side playfully. [Name] eyes-brows knit together as an uncanny emotion surges through her veins as if she experiences what it was like to be in love , no like something was missing.

She hasn’t realized she’s been gawking too long as the duo stare back at her with confusion plastered over the youthful features as they exchanged glances before prancing away.

“What a weirdo.” Her ears picked up from the distance indicating they’re not too far, [Name] musters all the energy she has as she opens her mouth “Says the ones. Focus on studying not love.” Her loud voices echoes in the estate, the innocent giggles resonates in the background — This was her only human interaction she had in ages.

The young woman lets out a scoff in disbelief at how brazen kids where these days— the abrupt tune of her stomach growling interrupts her thoughts — As the girl stood up her full height, a sharp feelings object hits her forehead— She swerves her head around the puny area as a paper airplane catches her attention, twas the black haired girl bent down to crouch as her free hand collect the paper, “Those dang kids.” She unfolds the paper timdly eager like a feline to know what it reads, dropping her forgotten cigar on the floor,Fine ebony print written in cursive arrayed on the sheet.

You’ve been qualified as a hallowed — [Name] Lane.

“Huh?” The girl rolled her eyes lazily as her eyebrows knit in confusion at how they were able to throw it in damp weather, she shakes her head — the girl winds her hand back preparing to fling it back as she hears a loud knock on the door causing her to drop her arm.

“Who’s there?” She struts slowly with calculated steps, cautious of her surrounding — A dry lump forms in her throat as she swallows back her salvia for any moisture, The deafening silence fills the room again as the aria of the howling wind kisses her skin.

Her heartbeat began to sped up on its own, paranoia creeping on her — the only emotion she felt in forever thinking it’s those children playing pranks on her. She reaches the door, her trembling hands stretch forth to untwist the door handle as it slowly creaks to reveal a tall man, her age. The odd thing is he isn’t drenched in rain.

His dark almond tresses that reaches just above his pierced ears, his messy bangs veil to his eyebrows as it compliments his pallid complexion — She studied how His doe eyes that matched his hair with traces of oak twinkle like a star, his trimmed eyebrows slightly lift up like he was surprised along with his button nose crinkling, his plush lips a shade of salmon is stuck in a straight line. Both dents in his round chub cheeks.

He was clad in a fast food restaurant uniform she never saw in her life; was it new? A white long sleeve button up over it was a vermilion apron paired with ebony skinny jeans that brought out his lanky figure — how his white sneakers kick at nothing,she then gawked back at him playing with the paper bag in his hand only to notice he was left unscathed from the damp weather.

“Hello [name]! Nice to meet you, I’m Jaehyun. Im here to help you find love again.” His smooth voice plucks out her fear as she felt at peace. Despite that why did he feel so familiar as the emotion from before returns?

“I didn’t order anything? I’ve got no appetite.” She utters more so to herself but he hearkened every sentence she mutters. “First. How do you know my name? I’m sure those kids prank called you my address.” This time she speaks louder, no emotion lingering on her voice Aa for her facial expression.

The man stands there gazing at her as if time didnt apply to him or the universe “I was sent by God.” Jaehyun calmly states to all her questions.

“Pardon“

“I got the right place, I wasn’t sent by anyone but God— didnt you get my letter?” He further speaks in a calm tone prior to how she felt, he then takes a measured pause.

“He wants me to fix you again and that’s why I brought food!” He points to where her heart was located in her chest as he emphasized on the word fix, she follows his finger only to be met with the fluffy light pink top she wore for a week.

“My heart? are you like an Angel? Cult leader, swindler, a magician?”

“ I’m called a heart mender, when you find love I fade.”Jaehyun replied back to her questions with ease, usually some would get annoyed being bombarded by such wording though the male was patient as a saint. As others would shut the door, the girl nods discreetly – as amusement teased her boredorm.

“You made that on the spot to flirt with me. If you were from God why would you fade.” It’s not a question this time it’s more of a statement, like she was certain of herself.

“Let me show you something .” [Name] gawks at him like he has two heads, she crosses her arm over her chest creating a sense of warmth from the cold. The male lengthens out his hand into the pocket of apron and tugs out a puny glass vial — tucked and stored inside was a rainbow orb larping a Christmas ornament, it shined bright causing her to squint as it nearly blinded her.

“This…” He holds it down to her eye level “Is what love used to feel like for you, i found it trapped in a memory you threw away.”

“Which one?” No expression on her face at all, as she leans of the side of the wall like she was waiting for the stranger to entice her ennui as she studies how the small smile never leaves his face.

“After we eat, I’ll show you — it’s better to eat and chat.”

“I told you I have no appetite. Eat it yourself unless it’s poison.” Jae shrugs carelessly as he tucks the precious vial into his pocket, he uses his free hand to grab the plastic box— “Even if you have none, you can still try it.” [Name] eyes widened to a fraction as her eyebrows too as she lets out a small gasp noticing it’s her favorites food of all time, fried rice and spicy bbq chicken balls— the meal her mother would dish for her after school.

The lanky male finger peels the plaster container as he snatches a round tender chicken ball throwing it tossing it his mouth, he chews gradually whilst nodding his head in approval as he repeats his action.

The stranger then pretends to cough aggressively — as his whole face twist as for the young lady before him confused as she’s ever been ponders to herself, was it really poisonous no way!!! She immediately jogs quickly to pat his lean back with force only to be met with a wave of laughter, squeaky and loud — she felt oddly ease, the disease of contagious laughter spreading to her as she dodges it careful not to touch it as if she will get sick.

“Tricked ya.”

“Stop playing.” She rolls her eyes lazily hence sways her head out of disbelief — a smile threatening to falter on her lips nor it doesn’t. She eyes the plastic bag as the delicate scent invades her nose catalyzing the tune of her stomach growling to return back.

She then starches her head whilst she moves to the side making room for him to pass, if she ends up getting persuaded by some serial killer then end up in a bush then so be it, there was something amusing about him that on the tip of her point tounge she couldn’t figure out.

“Are you coming in or standing there dude?” She utters dryly as the heart mender does what he’s told so, “If you allow me.” he whisks inside the warm interior as if he knew the place— like he knew every inch of the household, she shuts the door behind her — The male already made himself at home, ergo he plops himself of the leather couch feeling the softness suck him in — his ringed hand pushes the button as it extends the chair making it into a mini bed thence he quickly brings out the dishes, placing them on the table.

His eyes travel towards the mini portrait of a baby: her light brown skin compliments her jet black hair, doe brown eyes twinkling like the sun— her long ebony lashes evident as her aeygosal — dents displayed on her chubby cheeks as she slightly smirked. She was clad in a simple furry pink one suit. The male stares, he stares at the picture longer than he should’ve. His mind began to cloud with many thoughts as her sweet voice interrupted his mind. He tears his gaze from the baby to the young adult.

“You been here before?” The lady jokes, as she tilts her head toward the seat — her arms make its way to stuff itself in her sweat pants pocket.

“Nope, but I remember it in a different way.” He clears his throat loudly as he fiddles with the ebony plastic cover.

“Shall we eat?”

“I said —“

“Trust me.” He slid the warm dish beside her, as the girl mirrors his actions— her finger pinches at the plastic like it was covid— placing it atop her marble table. Her other hand stuck the fork in the chicken ball as she stuck it in her mouth, chewing slowly capturing the tender taste that melted on her taste buds, a hum of approval vibrated from her throat as she nods discreetly— Jaehyun observes as she stuffs her mouth with the fried rice, her cheeks resembling a chicqmunk as she ate like the first time in her life.

He lets out a small chuckle whilst Lane is munching away he tugs the vial out his pocket again, “You ready?” The item shines like a star as she nods slowly, She then uses her middle finger to touch it as bliss swam through her veins.

“It was [Name] when she was a preteen — her whole aura radiating positivity as it shone on her figure and youthful face. Her silky hair was longer and straight. It was jet black as it cascades down to her back, curls on the split end; the little girl was clad a sparkly vermillion mini dress as it flowed down to her knees complimenting her skin — paired with classic white high heels to match her pearly white teeth’s as she spun around like a ballerina, admiring herself in the mirror.

She reminces on the day like it was yesterday when her crush asked her out to prom, little [Name] and her mother went all out for her to be dolled out.

“I love it mommy, you’re the best. You still making your stir fry today?”

“You bet ya.”

The vague memory disappears into thin air, she doesn’t realize until the zaps her until reality — [Name] is smiling softly— a small tear drop slid down her eyelid to her cheeks as it drops on her lap. She embodies the same energy she felt that day, as she is overwhelmed with the strange sensation of happiness.

“I remember….”

Jaehyun physique alters dim— larping if all the color on his attire drains— his shoulder slumps through a tired smirk purges upon his lips.

“There’s more where that came.” He stood up to his full height nearly stumbling backwards like drunk— “I’m afraid it’s my time to go.”

“Will you be back?”

“Don’t miss me too much, Lane.” He avoids the question as the smirk never leaves his lips nor does the smile fade from the young adult as she shakes her head.

The way her name rolled off his tongue like honey alters something in her brain ergo she sense she is conversant with someone being teasing like that that before, the girl felt uneasy but not in a horrible way.

“I won’t, Mr.mender.” Little did she know that was a lie.

“Jaehyun, call me Jaehyun.” With that he struts towards the large rustic door painted a ebony hue— [Name] glances at her lap, She then tilts her head to realize he’s gone — the girl mirrors his actions as she ran towards the window, sticking her head only for the male to no where to be. Was her memories finally unlocking hence did the two know each other before in the past?

[w4nderllust]

when words fail

taesan x fem!reader (self insert lowk)

summary: a new job at the convenience store introduces you to a love you never thought you would find :3

wc : 4.9k

friday nights are usually your designated nights. you enjoy spending time cuddled up in your bedroom, duvet draped over your body while you watch your favorite kpop band perform on your laptop screen.

despite being unable to see them live, the feeling is electric—unreal, even. but those nights of solace are no longer, and all because you decided to get a job. it isn’t easy finding a place suitable to your taste, but you manage to find one at the convenience store on the corner of your street, a place you frequent.

of course you don’t choose to get a job out of the blue, there’s an underlying reason. that being your desire to see your favorite band in concert. though watching through the screen is enjoyable, the feeling of seeing them live is unmatched.

listening to their heavenly vocals, seeing their elaborate and skilled dance moves along with their angelically crafted faces in person? you’d be a fool to turn down a chance at experiencing that.

that’s why you’re standing in the doorway of the convenience store, application in hand as the owner, an older man with graying hair, leads you inside the store. “come, come!” he ushers you in warmly, a gentle smile on his face.

“i’m sure you got the email about getting the job already.”

you nod, following closely behind as he leads you to the register. the register that changes the course of your experience at your new job, and all because of one boy.

he’s gorgeous. extremely tall and sharp featured with high cheekbones and the cutest pouty lips. his face holds no expression, but his eyes, his eyes speak to you more than you believe he ever could.

“ah, this is taesan!” your manager introduces excitedly, ushering the boy to come out from the counter. he complies, steadily making his way out until he’s in front of you.

“taesan, this is yn. she’s the new employee i was telling you about.”

you bow, to which he reciprocates, before offering your hand out for a handshake. he glances down, slightly surprised, before taking your hand in his own. his hand is soft, but you can feel the slight callouses—a testament of hard work.

“nice to meet you.” he says, voice silky smooth and full of honey. this job is only supposed to be a means of getting money, but your introduction to taesan makes you second guess your intentions.

would it be all that bad to find romance if you were still making money? 

“i’m hoping you can start soon. i know it’s short notice, but can you come in tomorrow?”

“definitely,” you reassure him, offering a small smile. your manager thanks you, before leading you around the backroom where the employees stay. all the while, you find it hard to keep your eyes off of taesan.

he’s just so captivating.

you’re in for a lot of trouble.

–

the next day, you begrudgingly roll out of bed an hour earlier than usual. yes, having money is exciting, but your beauty sleep will always be more important. nonetheless, you make it to the store in just the knick of time, quickly greeting a bored looking taesan who lazily nods in acknowledgment.

“morning,” you mumble, bowing quickly, before disappearing into the back room. taesan’s eyes follow your figure, a slight quirk of the corner of his lips making an appearance at your disheveled semblance.

“rough morning?” he asks when you finally emerge from the room, hands hurriedly tying the straps of your apron behind your back. you nod, brushing your hair out of your face before joining him at the register.

he just chuckles, and holds his hand out. you tilt your head in confusion.

“huh?”

“phone.” he says simply, brows raising expectantly.

you pout, muttering under your breath as you dig in your pocket to hand him your phone. then he laughs, a genuine laugh, and it makes you look up at him, and the sight makes your breath hitch.

he’s even cuter when he smiles.

“i’m just messing with you. i’m supposed to be training you today though. are you ready?” he leans against the counter, eyes never leaving your face.

you nod, speechless, to which he claps his hands together.

“alright, first up i’ll teach you about the register.”

training goes relatively smoothly, as smooth as it can go, with a few blips here and there. he teaches you the ins and outs of using the register, including all of the shortcuts he’s managed to create since working there.

he also goes over how to take inventory (something so tedious it quickly becomes your least favorite task), and of course what he likes to call “standard” customer service skills. though to you, the skills are a lot more than just the bare minimum.

taesan is impossible to ignore. he’s extremely kind to the customers, speaking lightheartedly to them as if it’s second nature. it’s obvious to you that he’s grown a reputation around the store, judging by how receptive customers both young and old are to him.

it’s kind of endearing to watch.

“you’re good at that,” you comment once rush hour ends. he shrugs, picking a piece of lint from off of his apron. “it gets easier when you get used to it.” you nod, continuing to wipe down the counter.

the sun has already begun to set by now, the moon illuminating brightly, casting dark shadows along the sidewalk. you look through the window, huffing at the sight. today goes by quicker than you expect.

if every work day is like today, you wouldn’t mind having a job at all. especially with eye candy like taesan.

“ah, almost forgot,” he says suddenly, weaving past you and toward the shelves. you watch him, confused, when he motions for you to follow him. “forgot what?”

“another shortcut.” he says matter-of-factly, leading you to the 3 layered carts filled with crates of what you assume to be merchandise.

“i was going to teach you tomorrow, but doing it like this makes it so much easier.”

“doing what like what?” you ask, bewildered.

“stocking, duh?” he says as he crouches down to lift a box of merchandise from the cart. you nod in understanding, grabbing a box of your own. but what you don’t realize is that convenience store snacks can be so heavy, and you nearly topple over at the mere weight of the box.

“what’s in this, bricks?” he chuckles at your expense, plopping the box he holds down to assist you with yours. you thank him, heading over to the aisle that corresponds with the box.

“it’s pretty self-explanatory, just make sure you arrange them neatly or the owner gets mad. doing it the night before makes your job so much easier.” he explains, crossing his arms, his body leaning against the shelf.

“i’ll help you today, but most days we split up the work.”

you nod, shooting him a thumbs up, turning to get to work. stocking is pretty easy, and it quickly becomes your favorite task. taesan is right about everything being relatively simple— all you have to do is find the correct spot and organize it in a neat way, something you enjoy doing anyway.

in fact, you enjoy it so much you secretly wish you could rearrange all the shelves, but you don’t get paid enough for that. everything goes smoothly until it’s time for you to reach the dreaded top shelf.

you click your tongue, turning to see if there’s a stool nearby, but there isn’t. so being the ever independent girl you are, you figure out a way to reach the top shelf—for the most part.

brilliantly, tossing the bowls of ramen on the shelf seems to be working perfectly. they even manage to align themselves correctly, something you chalk up to divine intervention. but as you near the front of the row of ramen, it gets more difficult.

you huff, shifting on your tippy toes, hands stretching as far as they can to slide the final bowl of buldak on the shelf, but you’re just short of it.

then, warmth.

the feeling of something—someone—coming up behind you makes your body grow slack, your weight shifting back to your heels as taesan’s hand grabs the cup from your hand, effortlessly sliding it into place.

you feel your breath catch in your throat, cheeks warming at the feeling of his body so close to yours, but the feeling only lasts a second. he dusts his hands off, placing them on his hips with a sigh.

“next time, ask for help.” he says simply, as if he hasn’t almost just given you a heart attack. you feel like a freak for reading into it, but how could you not? your oddly attractive new coworker just comes up behind you and helps you reach the top shelf.

it’s like something straight out of a drama. “whatever.” you stumble over your words, hiding your face as you quickly walk over to the backroom. taesan watches you, a perplexed look on his face, before shrugging.

–

for the next few weeks, you consistently go to work, and things run smoothly. customers start to warm up to you, the tasks become muscle memory, and the job isn’t too tiring, so you still have enough time to have a social life outside of it.

needless to say, getting this job is a blessing.

as for taesan, he’s still his usual polite self, but he’s sort of closed off, you notice. at first it kind of bothers you, but you chalk it up to him being an introvert. plus, it’s better this way.

who knows how fast you would fold if a friendship bloomed between the two of you.

but after a while of smooth sailing, taesan starts growing increasingly agitated at the unspoken awkwardness that seems to loom between the two of you. yeah, you’re friendly—sometimes even having small conversations here and there—but there’s still this odd feeling of tension. heavy, yet unserious at the same time.

it’s driving him insane.

so he does what any other logical person would do: he decides to confront you about it.

the first time taesan tries to bring it up, it doesn’t go too well. in truth, it just makes things even more awkward than they were.

“yn?” he calls for you one day while you’re busy restocking the shelves.

you pause, dusting off your apron and walking toward him.

“yeah?”

“is everything… okay between us?” and the way he says it—hesitant and soft—makes it so hard for you not to believe there’s a double meaning behind his words. makes it hard to believe he doesn’t mean something else by it. but as delusional as you are about your favorite band, you know the difference between fantasy and reality.

and this is reality. taesan doesn’t mean anything by it. “of course, why?” you chuckle to ease the awkwardness. he just scratches the back of his head, nodding before motioning for you to go back to work.

after that, you make sure to keep extra distance from him. whenever he’s talking to a customer, you hide on the opposite side of the store so he can’t pull you into the conversation.

during breaks, you insist on eating after him just so you won’t be alone with him in the breakroom.

but taesan isn’t stupid. he notices, and it bothers him. but he doesn’t know if he’s reading too much into it. maybe you have a reason, or maybe it really is just all in his head.

he won’t know for sure unless he tests it—so he does.

“yn, i need your help with the register!”

you quickly jog up to him, slipping behind the counter to assist.

“what’s up?”

he hums, tapping a few random buttons, hoping you won’t notice his blatant acting. “i keep getting stuck on this screen when i try to exit.”

you look up at him, confused, tapping a few buttons before the register returns to its original screen. “how do you not know this? you’ve been working here longer than me,” you tease, turning to head back to your task.

“wait,” he suddenly says, reaching a hand out to stop you. you glance down at his hovering hand before he quickly retracts it, motioning for you to come back.

“there’s this thing too,” he says, inching closer to where you stand in front of the register. and you, being you, notice this, and begin to scoot further and further away from him.

“what thing?” you accidentally stutter, forehead creasing in embarrassment. you hadn’t meant to show your nervousness, it just happens.

“this.” he taps a random button on the screen, attempting to lean in closer to you again. this time, you take a full step back, nervously giggling at your sudden closeness.

this time, there’s no mistaking it. you deliberately take a step away from him when he moves close to you, and he wants to know why. so he moves again. then you move again—away from him.

the two of you play this little dance until he has you backed against the wall, your hands raised in surrender. it doesn’t help that he refuses to break eye contact the entire time.

“what are you doing?” you ask, your voice coming out as a squeak.

he doesn’t say anything. his eyes continue to bore into your face, engraving every feature of yours into his memory.

then, finally: “why do you act so awkward around me?”

you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding when he steps back, arms crossing. you shrug, trying to wave him off, trying to pretend han taesan didn’t just have you cornered against the wall.

that you hadn’t just seen his gorgeously carved face up close—too close.

“i don’t. it’s just my personality.”

but taesan doesn’t buy it. instead, he scoffs, muttering something under his breath, still refusing to let it go.

“well if we’re going to be coworkers we need to be comfortable with each other. let’s spend our lunch break together.” he insists, leaving no room for refusal.

you sputter, blinking in confusion while he nudges you from behind the counter. “now get back to stocking.”

—

when lunchtime rolls around, your nerves are on ten. taesan closes the store, flipping the open sign to closed, leaving you absolutely no options for escape.

you know it’s ridiculous to be this nervous about sharing lunch with him, but it’s impossible not to be—especially when he looks like that, when he looks at you like that. like you’re the only person in the world.

you touch your finger to your lips, tracing them—a nervous habit you’ve picked up. taesan finally enters the backroom, two bowls of steaming ramen in hand as he sets one down in front of you.

“alright, let’s get to know each other.”

you snort at the way he says it, like it’s a mission that has to be completed. that earns you a slight smile from him, and in that moment, you wish you were a comedian just so you could see that radiant smile every day.

“ask me any question, i don’t bite,” he adds, picking up his chopsticks. you nod in thought, swirling the noodles in your bowl before mustering up the courage to speak.

“when did you start working here?”

“i started a year or two ago, in my first year of university,” he answers, taking a big bite of his ramen. you take one of your own, humming in understanding.

“university? how old are you, and what are you studying?”

“i’m twenty, and i’m studying music production.” you don’t miss the way his eyes seem to twinkle at the topic of music—it’s kind of cute.

“enough about me. what about you?”

you cover your mouth as you chew, freezing at the sudden question.

“me? what do you want to know?”

“everything you asked me.”

you hum, setting your bowl down. “i’m eighteen, i’m in my first year of university, and i’m studying math.”

he gasps, making a dramatic face of disgust. “math? who does that to themselves?”

you smile, rolling your eyes. “intelligent people.”

the two of you keep eating and chatting, and the more time you spend with him, the more you realize how much you enjoy just being around him. maybe avoiding him hadn’t been such a good idea after all.

“oh, i’ve been meaning to ask,” he says suddenly, just as the conversation begins to wind down. “is there any particular reason you got a job?”

you pause, a ghost of a smile tugging at your lips. you’ve got two options: lie and say it’s for tuition, or be honest. judging by the way he’s looking at you, option one sounds appealing—but for some reason, you can’t bring yourself to lie.

“don’t laugh at me…” you start, hanging your head in shame.

he laughs before you even get the words out. “i won’t, i won’t.”

you exhale, shutting your eyes. “i’m saving up to fund my obsession with this boy band,” you finally admit.

taesan puffs his cheeks, a terrible attempt at holding in his laugh, but it bursts out all at once. “you only got a job for kpop?” he sputters between laughs, hunched over in his chair.

“that’s some serious dedication,” he teases, once he’s caught his breath and sips his water.

“see, this is why i didn’t want to tell you,” you whine, fiddling with the cap of your water bottle. he shrugs, clearly not serious.

“i’m just teasing you. what group is it?”

“it’s this band called boynextdoor,” you say, already pulling out your phone to show him a song. he hums, feigning interest. if he’s being honest, the idea of a kpop group you’re obsessed with doesn’t exactly excite him, but if pretending to care makes you happy—he’ll do it in a heartbeat.

he hums along as you scroll through photos of them littered across your pinterest board, explaining the lore of the group. “they sound alright,” he comments, trying to sound casual.

“alright? they’re more than alright! let me show you their newest album!”

–

for the next few weeks, you and taesan grow closer—a lot closer than you intended or imagined. spending lunch breaks together becomes part of your daily routine, and if you’re honest, you look forward to them every single day.

taesan also gets much more comfortable around you, which means the teasing starts. relentless teasing. he constantly pokes fun at how your cheeks puff up when you eat, how your voice goes an octave higher when talking to older customers, or how you have this oddly specific system for organizing shelves.

of course, you cherish this new bond between the two of you. but the more time you spend together, the more your crush grows. at first, it was just physical attraction—but now, after actually getting to know him, it’s worse. or better. depending on how you look at it.

he’s sweet. he’s thoughtful. and he’s stupidly talented. falling for him was inevitable, and honestly, you can’t even blame yourself. but you’re not going to act on it. that would just make things weird, so instead—you set boundaries.

invisible boundaries that taesan seems determined to ignore.

he’s surprisingly touchy. always resting his hand on your shoulder, hovering near your waist when he brushes past, placing his palm lightly on your lower back if you’re in his way.

he also makes weird comments sometimes—calls you cute, slips in random compliments like it’s nothing. it’s confusing. he’s confusing. and impossible to gauge. still, you brush off the moments, chalking them up to his personality. until today.

today was supposed to be a normal day. rush hour ended early, which meant the store was quiet. quiet enough for you to pull out your phone and fangirl over your favorite group, who just so happened to be performing live tonight. the timing was awful—their set landed during the last hour of your shift—but with no customers, you had more than enough time to indulge.

taesan’s off sweeping the floor, music blaring through his earbuds, completely unaware as you prop your phone up against the register and clap your hands like a kid on christmas. the live starts, and you’re already grinning at the comment section flooding in.

“yn, i finished—” he pauses, catching the pure joy on your face. he’s never seen you look this animated before. it’s… kinda cute.

“what are you doing?” he asks, eyes flicking to your phone.

“my favorite group performs tonight!” you practically squeal, looking up at him with genuine excitement.

he hums, sets the broom aside, and walks over, arms crossed as he leans in slightly to see your screen.

“that’s what’s got you this worked up?” he teases. normally, your heart would flutter at how close he’s standing, but you’re too focused on the angels on your screen to care.

taesan glances sideways at you, a weird twinge of irritation rising in his chest. he doesn’t get what’s so great about these guys. hell, you haven’t even looked at him since they came on.

then, it happens.

you squeal—loudly—as one of the members lifts his shirt to flash his abs. taesan squints at the screen, scoffing.

“did you see that? he just showed us his abs! oh my gosh, they’re glorious! if i could see that in person…” you gush, completely in your own world, rambling about how unreal it’d be to see them live.

taesan rolls his eyes. “they’re not that cool. anybody can have abs.”

“tch, not just anybody. look at you, for example.” you shoot back without missing a beat, eyes still locked on the performance.

he frowns—actually frowns—at how easily you dismiss him. he knows you’re joking, but something about your total lack of attention gets under his skin.

“oh yeah? you want to bet?” he says suddenly, leaning in even closer.

you wave him off, still replaying your favorite part of the performance. “yeah right—”

“how am i supposed to show you if you won’t even look at me?”

you scoff, finally turning to give him a piece of your mind—but stop cold when you see what’s in front of you.

taesan’s hands are gripping the hem of his shirt, lifting it just enough to reveal a sliver of his abs.

“what are you doing?! stop!” you squeak, immediately turning away, flustered out of your mind.

he laughs—really laughs—smoothing down his shirt like he didn’t just flash you.

“i’m taking fifteen,” you mumble, cheeks burning as you practically sprint to the backroom. you fan your face, glaring at the sound of his laughter echoing from the front.

you cannot believe he just did that.

but taesan? oh, he’s smug. leaning against the counter with a smile tugging at his lips, proud of himself for successfully pulling your attention off your beloved boy band—and back onto him.

–

later that night, your face is buried in your pillow, a poor attempt at self-suffocation. no matter how hard you try to erase the image from your mind, that moment with taesan plays over and over like a broken record.

he makes it so hard not to like him.

you scream into your pillow, fists pounding the mattress, when a notification sounds from your phone. confused, you reach over, mouth falling open at taesan’s name flashing on your screen.

taesan: what’s so great about boynextdoor anyway? anyone could do what they do you: are you seriously still on that? taesan: yes, you were going crazy over them you: yeah, bc they’re amazing. they can sing, dance, rap plus their beauty is hard to find taesan: not really you: yes really taesan: who’s cuter me or them? you: stop asking weird questions

(read 11:09 pm)

you sigh, dropping your phone back onto your pillow. the more you think about it, the more delusional you feel about the chance taesan might actually like you back.

come to think of it, he’s been acting weirder than usual lately—complimenting you more, always finding reasons to be close, even now asking questions about what you think of him.

of course you think taesan is cuter, but you’d never tell him that. that would just make everything awkward.

then, another notification.

this time, it’s a voice message from him. your breath catches as your finger hovers over the play button.

you press play—and immediately regret it.

it’s taesan singing, his voice steady and smooth, filled with emotion. of course, he chose a song from your favorite group.

and just as the message ends, you hear his voice—low, sleepy—

“goodnight yn.”

–

work is unbearable. things between you two are awkward, and it’s mostly your fault. you absolutely refuse to make eye contact with him, and when you can, you avoid him. taesan looks slightly confused by the sudden change in your attitude.

the two of you had made so much progress — only for it to unravel in exactly one day. he isn’t going to let that slide.

“yn,” he hums, as you pretend to be busy wiping down the counter.

“yn,” he says again, more urgently this time. you exhale and finally tear your eyes away from the counter to look at him.

“yes, taesan?”

“why are you being weird again?”

you wish you could slap him for asking such a stupid question, but you’ve learned by now that taesan is just naturally oblivious. any girl in your position would avoid him after the stunt he pulled yesterday.

it’s hard to believe he’s even asking.

taesan tilts his head, genuine confusion written across his face as he waits for an answer.

“are you serious?” you scoff lightly, turning back to resume wiping.

taesan huffs, annoyed, and inches closer. you freeze, hand still pressed against the damp cloth.

“is it because of yesterday?” his voice is teasing as he leans in again, and in that moment you briefly consider whether physical violence would be so bad. you step back, holding your hand out to create distance between you.

“you’re being weird…” you mutter, eyes darting everywhere but his.

taesan’s brows knit in frustration. he’s starting to feel bad — you look so uncomfortable, and that wasn’t his intention at all. he thought the feeling was mutual.

“i’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable,” he says quietly, kicking at dust on the floor. you blink, looking up at him in surprise.

“no, no, i’m not uncomfortable, it’s just…” you trail off, searching for the words.

taesan gives you a moment, then grows impatient. he tilts his head again, leaning closer so you can see his face. your breath catches as you fight the urge to meet his eyes, but it’s no use.

“just…?” he murmurs, voice barely above a whisper.

that’s your breaking point.

taesan keeps doing things — the skinship, the voice messages, the random compliments. it’s driving you insane. not the actions themselves, but the fact that he does it so mindlessly.

taesan doesn’t actually like you. he’s just being himself, and that’s what bothers you. you thought it’d be okay at first — accepting his teasing — but it’s become unbearable. your feelings for him are unbearable.

you have to put an end to it.

but before you can speak, your tears say it for you. they pool in your eyes, and you blink furiously, trying to hold them back.

“oh, wait, yn, are you okay?” he suddenly steps back, concern written all over his face. you shake your head, sniffling as you wipe the tears from your cheeks.

“i’m fine, i just… just stop teasing me before i think you’re serious.” your voice cracks, your bottom lip trembling as you finally say the words you’ve been avoiding.

taesan’s eyes widen in shock as he watches you cry, unsure what to do. he isn’t good at moments like this — and making you cry was never his intention. what did you mean, you thought he wasn’t serious? he was serious.

“wait, i’m sorry if i’ve been confusing you but i am serious,” he stumbles over his words, eyes closing in frustration as he tries to find the right way to say it. but you don’t hear any of it — your shoulders only shake harder, tears spilling over.

you don’t even know why you’re crying. you’re not usually emotional, but now the waterworks won’t stop no matter what he says.

“it’s fine. i think i just need a minute.”

you sniffle again, turning toward the breakroom. but just then, taesan moves — finally finding the courage to act. to prove he’s serious about you, that he always has been.

his arms wrap around you from behind, pulling you into his chest. your eyes widen as your arms instinctively circle his wrists. he rests his neck in the crook of yours, breath warm and tickling your collarbone.

“i am serious about you, yn. i just tease you because i like you so much.” his voice is low and gentle, the scent of his cologne warm and comforting as he hugs you tighter.

then he pulls back, turning you gently to face him. his hands stay on your shoulders as he says:

“i like you, yn.”

his hands find their way to your cheeks, cupping them as he pulls you in for a brief peck on the corner of your lips. somehow, that small gesture was more intimate — more romantic — than a kiss on the lips could have ever been.

your tears fall again as you bury your face in his shirt, fist limply punching his shoulder.

“i like you too, stupid,” you say between sniffles.

taesan smiles, rubbing soothing circles on your back.

“i know you do.”

you punch him again, earning a small laugh.

“don’t be so confusing next time.”

taesan just smiles, pressing his lips against the crown of your head.

“i promise.”

-

m.list

[w4nderllust]

boynextdoor photo booths

... - ,, what your photobooth pics with boynextdoor would look like <3

idea from @luvjii, check out their post about riize!

﹒⊹ sungho

sungho is so obsessed with you its not even funny

you just understand each other, and he gets so soft around you

so when you bring up the idea of taking photobooth photos, he's more than ecstatic to take them with you

when you get there, and he notices how excited you look to be taking photos, he just gets feels all warm and fuzzy

you try to do some pretty tame poses, planting a kiss on his cheek to which he squints his eyes, embarrassed on the outside but ready to explode on the inside

eventually he'd let his adoration for you take over and he'd wrap his arms around your body pulling you flush against him, face buried in the crook of your neck

you'd scold him for his face not being in the photo, but he wouldn't care, he'd just continue to grab your cheeks, squishing them together, gushing about how much he loves you

you'd giggle as he plants a chaste kiss on your cheek, holding you in place because he knows you get antsy

and eventually you'd give in and ignore the idea of the picture perfect photos you'd imagined

you'd grab his face, pulling him in for a gentle kiss, purposefully positioning your hand to cover where your lips meet as the camera clicked for a final time

the employees would all watch you two emerge from the booth, looks of amusement plastered on their faces at the bright red lipstick prints littering sungho's dazed face

he'd keep the photos in the back of his phone case to always remind him of you🐈

﹒⊹ riwoo

this cutie would be sooo nervous to get into the booth

you'd been nagging him about it for a while, and being the loving boyfriend he is, he's always said yes

unfortunately you two just never had the time; that is until you conveniently end up in the mall meaning you HAD to take the photos

he'd be kind of shy to get in the booth

would let you take the lead

he'd start rambling about what poses to do, admitting he'd looked some up online, fumbling for his phone to show you

you just find him so adorable and tell him not to worry about it, you'd prefer if they were just natural

so you'd reach for him, hands smushing his face close to yours and he'd just accept it with a shy smile on his face

when you lean into plant a kiss on his cheek he'd be genuinely surprised, making the photo even cuter

eventually he loosens up and wraps his arms around you, determined to have the photos turn out as cute as possible

afterward, he'd apologize for being so reserved and you'd just plant a kiss on his lips insisting you loved it

that night he sticks the photos on the fridge of his apartment so he'd always have a reason to smile in the morning 🦦

﹒⊹ jaehyun

oh this would be jaehyun's time to SHINE

contrary to the other members, it was jaehyun's idea to take these photos

he'd been wanting something of you to put in his wallet for ages, and he thought photobooth pics would be so perfect

so you're not shocked when you two end up at the mall during a date

he'd pull you into the booth, not even giving you the time to deliberate on what poses you'd do

they would start off lighthearted, with silly little poses he'd seen online

he knows you're a little less bold than he is so he'd ease into the more intimate poses

he'd grab your cheek, looking at you with those loving puppy eyes

at one point he lowkey goes feral and bites your head, and of course, matching his energy you'd do the same

and for the finale he'd pull you into a soft, gentle kiss making you completely forget you were supposed to be taking photos in the first place

when you two go out to pay, he's already showing the photos off to the employees at the store, gushing about how lucky he is to have an amazing gf 🐶

﹒⊹ taesan

this hard headed fool wouldn't want to take the pics at first

he'd constantly tell you no when you ask to go to the mall and take pics, but one day you randomly end up at the mall together after a date

hmmmm totally not planned...

he'd let you drag him toward the booth, a frown on the outside but butterflies on the inside

he's never gotten over how nervous you make him, he just refuses to show it

he'd be uncooperative at first, simply taking regular couple photos, resting his head against yours, an awkward smile on his face

then of course due to your nagging he'd give in and loosen up a bit, a more natural smile on his face

he'd even let you two put on the cute little hats the mall offered, hoisting you up on his back so you're both in the frame

seeing how happy you are to take the pics he'd lowkey get cuteness aggression and start smushing your cheeks together, a genuine smile on his face

for the final photo you're busy deciding what to do when he grabs your face and pulls you in for a kiss, his hand sliding around your waist to pull you closer

and when you leave the booth to retrieve the printed strips, still in utter shock, he has that stupid smirk on his face cause he's proud of himself for flustering you

he'd do anything for his baby 🐈‍⬛

﹒⊹ leehan

this cute patootie would be so excited to take pics with you

leehan lovesss having mementos of your dates, or little pics/trinkets that remind him of you so this would be perfect

you'd both be so ready to take the pics, having already created a shared pinterest board with photos you'd like to recreate

but of course, you end up freestyling it getting too in the moment together (that's always better anyways)

he'd throw a cowboy hat on you, stuffing one on his head too, his arms holding you tight

he'd also managed to sneak in some starfish stickers, plastering one on both of your noses

he'd just be super touchy with you, hugging you and squeezing your cheeks together because you give him such cuteness aggression

at one point he's just staring at you, admiring how genuinely happy you look about spending time with him, even though its as simple as taking photo booth pics

he'd lowkey get emotional and pull you into a passionate kiss, completely disregarding the camera that clicks, snapping the final photo of the two of you

he literally won't let you go, planting kisses all over your face while he showers you with praise

but you'd be okay with it because he's impossible not to love :(

he'd also immediately post the photos on instagram and set the pic as his lock screen 🦁

﹒⊹ woonhak

oh our non affectionate woonhak

it's not that woonhak doesn't like when you touch him, he just gets kind of nervous, the good kind of nervous

so when you introduce taking photobooth pics, he feels the same kind of nerves he did when he first asked you out

you'd pull him into the photobooth, tugging the sleeve of his hoodie so he'd shuffle closer to you

his face is beet red when you sling your arm over his shoulder, shifting him down to your height

you'd smush the side of your cheek against his, smiling

you know how he gets about physical touch so you wouldn't go overboard

but woonhak notices, he notices and it only makes him want to push his boundaries because of how patient you are with him

so he slings his arm around your shoulder, gripping your chin as he shoots the camera a silly face

then, bold as ever, he'd plant a chaste kiss against your cheek when you're not looking, the photo capturing your off guard expression

and you? you'd be so excited that your boyfriend was comfortable enough to kiss you on the cheek

you'd never let him live it down, often teasing him about it. he'd pretend to get mad, but the grin on his face would always say otherwise

you'd always be his baby, no matter what <3 🧸

a/n: ik this trend is old, but i saw one about riize and just couldn't resist doing one for our boys :3 enjoy, and check out more of my works below :p

m.list

[w4nderllust]

... aicha, 18, intj

✞ ᢉ𐭩 bnd & enhypen

 bnd enhypen misc

 about me - I do not write smut

and remember, God loves you :)

[w4nderllust]

𝐀𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄.

𝚠𝟺𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝓟𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬... ☆ 𝐀𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄

⤷ myung jaehyun x black! fem reader 💗

𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘴, 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘳. 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘯— [𝘕𝘢𝘮𝘦] 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘥, 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘶𝘯𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘺 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳, 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘹 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘳? 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮?

CW: Heavy Angst, Tooth— rotting fluff, religious talk, suggestive content, kissing, suicidal references, hugging ect.

my first kpop fanfic! :3

1/5

It was a gloomy day. The cloudy skies painted a dull cadet grey, no clouds or God's creatures to be unearthed twas it compliments how the white specks trickle mixed with rain. Thus, the way it drifts in the air gently from the heavens above as it falls on her mini ebony cooper and the ground below as it pours on the young couple whom struts by holding hands as their sweet laughter fills the quiet estate. Her body leans on the large metal pole as it sticks to the side of the wall. Her right hand twiddles the unlit cigar like it were some precious jewel worth 10k. She stored it away since her puppy got sick contemplating whether to smoke it.

Her eyes are fixated on the young couple hugging — his arms snake around her lower body tugging her in closer as if she will disappear, he began swinging her side to side playfully. [Name] eyes-brows knit together as an uncanny emotion surges through her veins as if she experiences what it was like to be in love, not like something was missing.

She hasn’t realised she’s been gawking too long as the duo stare back at her with confusion plastered over the youthful qualities as they exchange glances before prancing away.

“What a weirdo.” Her ears picked up from the distance implying that they’re not too far, [Name] musters all the energy she has as she opens her mouth “Says the ones. Focus on studying not love.” Her loud voices echoes in the estate;the innocent giggles resonates in the background — This was her only human interaction she had in ages.

The young woman let out a scoff of disbelief at how brazen kids were these days—

—but her thoughts were cut short by the abrupt growl of her stomach.

As she rose to her full height, a sharp object struck her forehead. She whipped her head around the cramped area, her eyes catching a paper airplane drifting to the ground.

It was the black-haired girl who bent down into a crouch, her free hand reaching out to collect the paper.

“Those dang kids,” she muttered.

She unfolded the paper with a kind of timid eagerness, like a curious cat, dropping her forgotten cigar onto the floor. Fine ebony cursive was arrayed neatly across the sheet.

You’ve been qualified as a hallowed — [Name] Lane.

“Huh?” The girl rolled her eyes as her eyebrows knit in puzzlement at how they were able to throw it in damp weather, She shook her head — the girl wound her hand back preparing to fling it back as she heard a loud knock on the door causing her to drop her arm.

“Who’s there?” she called out, striding slowly with calculated steps, cautious of her surroundings. A dry lump formed in her throat as she swallowed her saliva, desperate for any trace of moisture. The deafening silence settled over the room once more, broken only by the aria of the howling wind brushing against her skin.

Her heartbeat started to speed up on its own, paranoia creeping in—the only emotion she’d felt in what seemed like forever. She figured it was just those kids playing pranks again. She reached the door, her trembling hand stretching forward to twist the handle. It creaked open slowly, revealing a tall man, around her age.

The odd thing was… he wasn’t even wet from the rain.

His dark almond tresses that reach just above his pierced ears, his messy bangs veil to his eyebrows as it compliments his pallid complexion — She examined the way his doe eyes, which matched his hair with traces of oak, twinkled like a star, his trimmed eyebrows slightly raised as if surprised, his button nose crinkled, and his plush salmon lips were stuck in a straight line. There are two dents on the round cheeks of his chubby body.

He was clad in a fast food restaurant uniform she never saw in her life; was it new? A white long sleeve button up over it was a vermilion apron paired with ebony skinny jeans that brought out his lanky figure — how his white sneakers kicked at nothing, so she gazed back at him playing with a paper bag in his hand, only to notice he was left unharmed by the damp weather.

“Hello [name]! Nice to meet you, I’m Jaehyun. I’m here to help you find love again.” His smooth voice plucks out her fear as she felt at peace. In spite of that, why did he feel so familiar as if the emotion from before was returning?

“I didn’t order anything? “I don’t have any appetite.” Her words are more so to herself, but he hears everything she says. “First. How do you know my name? It's obvious those kids called you my address by mistake." Her voice is now louder, no emotion evident in her expression.

“I was sent by God.” The man stares at her as if time didn't matter to him or the universe. “I was sent by God.” Jaehyun calmly states to all her questions.

“Pardon“

“I got the right place, I wasn’t sent by anyone but God— didnt you get my letter?” He further speaks in a calm tone prior to how she felt, he then takes a measured pause.

He wants me to fix you again, that's why I brought food!” Pointing to where her heart was, he emphasized the word fix, she followed his finger to find the light pink fluffy top she wore for the past two weeks.

Is it my heart? are you like an Angel? Cult leader, swindler, a magician?”

“ I’m called a heart mender, when you find love I fade,”Jaehyun replied back to her questions with ease, usually some would get annoyed being bombarded by such wording though the male was patient as a saint. As others would shut the door, the girl nods discreetly – as amusement teased her.

“You made that on the spot to flirt with me. If you were from God why would you fade?” It’s not a question this time it’s more of a statement, she was certain of herself.

“Let me show you something.” [Name] gawks at him like he has two heads; she crosses her arms over her chest, creating a sense of warmth from the cold. The male lengths out his hand into the pocket of his apron and tugs out a puny glass vial—tucked and stored inside was a rainbow orb larping a Christmas ornament. It shone bright, causing her to squint as it nearly blinded her.

“This…” He holds it down to her eye level “Is what love used to feel like for you, i found it trapped in a memory you threw away.”

“Which one?” No expression on her face at all, as she leans on the side of the wall like she was waiting for the stranger to entice her boredom as she studies how the small smile never leaves his face.

“After we eat, I’ll show you — it’s better to eat and chat.”

“I told you I have no appetite. Eat it yourself unless it’s poison.” Jae shrugs carelessly as he tucks the precious vial into his pocket, he uses his free hand to grab the plastic box— “Even if you have none, you can still try it.” [Name] eyes widened to a fraction as her eyebrows too as she let out a small gasp noticing it’s her favourite food of all time, fried rice and spicy BBQ chicken balls— the meal her mother would dish for her after school.

The lanky male pinches the plaster container as he snatches a round tender chicken ball throwing it tossing it his mouth, he chews gradually whilst nodding his head in approval as he repeats his action.

The stranger then pretends to cough aggressively — as his whole face twists as if for the young lady beside him confused as she’s ever been ponders to herself, Was it poisonous No way!!! She jogs quickly to pat his lean back with force only to be met with a wave of laughter, squeaky and loud — she felt oddly at ease, the disease of contagious laughter spreading to her as she dodges it carefully not to touch it as if she will get sick.

“Tricked ya.”

“Stop playing.” She rolls her eyes hence sways her head out of disbelief — a smile threatening to falter on her lips nor it doesn’t. She eyes the plastic bag as the delicate scent invades her nose catalyzing the tune of her stomach growling to return back.

She then itches her head whilst she moves to the side, making room for him to pass. If she ends up getting persuaded by some serial killer and ends up in a bush, then so be it. There was something amusing about him that, on the tip of her pointed tongue, she couldn’t figure out.

“Are you coming in or standing there dude?” She utters dryly as the heart mender does what he’s told so, “If you allow me.” he whisks inside the warm interior as if he knew the place— like he knew every inch of the household, she shuts the door behind her — The male already made himself at home, ergo he plops himself of the leather couch feeling the softness suck him in — his ringed hand pushes the button as it extends the chair making it into a mini bed thence he quickly brings out the dishes, placing them on the table.

His eyes travel towards the mini portrait of a baby: her light brown skin complements her jet black hair, doe brown eyes twinkling like the sun— her long ebony lashes evident as her aegyo sal; dents displayed on her chubby cheeks as she slightly smirked. She was clad in a simple furry pink one-suit. The male stares, he stares at the picture longer than he should’ve. His mind began to cloud with many thoughts as her sweet voice interrupted his mind. He tears his gaze from the baby to the grown-up.

“Have you been here before?” The lady jokes, as she nods her head toward the seat — her arms make their way to stuff themselves in her sweat pants pocket.

“Nope, but I remember it in a different way.” He clears his throat loudly as he fiddles with the ebony plastic cover.

“Shall we eat?”

“I said —“

“Trust me.” He slid the warm dish beside her, as the girl mirrored his actions— her finger pinched at the plastic like placing it atop her marble table. Her other hand stuck the fork in the chicken ball as she placed it in her mouth, chewing slowly, capturing the tender taste that melted on her taste buds. A hum of approval vibrated from her throat as she nodded discreetly—Jaehyun observed as she stuffed her mouth with the fried rice, her cheeks resembling a chipmunk as she ate like it was the first time in her life.

He lets out a small chuckle while Lane is munching away. He tugs the vial out of his pocket again, “You ready?” The item shines like a star as she nods slowly. She then uses her middle finger to touch it as bliss swam through her veins.

Her whole aura radiating positivity as it shone on her figure and youthful face. Her silky hair was longer and straight. It was jet black as it cascaded down to her back, curling at the split ends; the little girl was clad in a sparkly vermillion mini dress as it flowed down to her knees, complimenting her skin — paired with classic white high heels to match her pearly white teeth as she spun around like a ballerina, admiring herself in the reflection the mirror.

She reminisces on the day like it was yesterday when her crush asked her out to prom. Little [Name] and her mother went all out for her to be dolled up.

“I love it mommy, you’re the best. You still making your stir fry today?”

“You bet ya.”

The vague memory disappears into thin air, she doesn’t realise until the zaps until reality — [Name] is smiling softly— a small tear drop slides down her eyelid to her cheeks as it drops on her lap. She embodies the same energy she felt that day, and she is overwhelmed with the strange sensation of delight.

“I remember….”

Jaehyun's physique dims; all the color on his attire drains slightly on his attire. His shoulder slumps as a tired smirk flickers upon his lips.

“There’s more where that came.” He stood up to his full height loosing his balance like drunk— “I’m afraid it’s my time to go.”

“Will you be back?”

“Don’t miss me too much, Lane.” He avoids the question as the smirk never leaves his lips nor does the smile fade from the young adult as she shakes her head.

The way her name rolled off his tongue like honey alters something in her brain; ergo, she senses she is conversant with someone teasing like that before. The girl felt uneasy, but not in a horrible way.

“I won’t, Mr.mender.” Little did she know that was a lie.

“Jaehyun, call me Jaehyun.” With that, he struts towards the large rustic door painted an ebony hue — [Name] glances behind her. She then rotates her head to realise he’s gone — the girl mirrors his actions as she runs towards the window, sticking her head out only for the male to be nowhere to be found. Were her memories finally unlocking? Hence, did the two know each other in the past?

[w4nderllust]

softly still

jaehyun x fem!reader

summary : an introduction to your best friend makes you realize jaehyun will never love you the way you love him.

wc : 2.6k

myung jaehyun was the man of your dreams.

in fact, he’d be the man of anyone’s dreams. that was why you were still hung up over him, despite it all. despite the fact that he only saw you as a friend—a sister even.

despite the fact that he liked your best friend.

it was easy, at first. to ignore the subtle glances, the eyes the two would give each other. adoration. that’s the best way you could describe it.

and the worst part of it all? you couldn’t do anything—say anything. they were perfect together. how could you ever break them apart? you’d never forgive yourself.

at least that’s what you tried to believe.

you and jaehyun had become acquainted in your first year of university. both coming from single sex schools, the two of you bonded over the missed out opportunity to connect with the opposite gender.

“what did you just say?” you giggle at the brown haired boy in front of you incredulously.

the two of you were sat away at a nearby park. it had been your spot for a while—just for the two of you.

you had just finished an exam in your english class, and you were beat. so of course, jaehyun, being the sweetheart he is, invited you to your favorite spot for a surprise: a picnic with all of your favorite snacks.

“i said i don’t have much information about other chromosomes in my database.”

he explained it so casually, as if it was a completely normal thing to say.

you stifle a giggle, taking a sip of your caprisun before teasing him. “oh yeah? then how come you can talk to me so easily?”

he snorts. “because you’re just… y/n. it’s different, you know.”

there it goes again. that pang in your chest hearing those words of his again. you know it shouldn’t hurt. that it shouldn’t dig as deep as it does into your chest.

but it does.

it was just a reminder that jaehyun would never see you the way you see him. as more than a friend, as a lover, the matching piece to your unfinished puzzle.

but to him you’re just you. his girl best friend, the one he could never see romantically.

—

it seemed like it had been months since you and jaehyun last talked. but that wasn’t true. the two of you still talked, just not nearly as much as you used to.

you could give the old excuse of university. getting so caught up in the rush and the qualms of life that you forgot about him, but that wouldn’t be true. the boy was on your mind nearly every minute of the day.

his bright eyes, plump cheeks. even the soft rustle of his hair each time he folded over to laugh at one of your stupid jokes. you were surprised you could even remember such a memory, considering you haven’t seen him in exactly three weeks.

the two of you used to text everyday. he would send you cute little stickers every morning and night, tag you in silly instagram reels, especially when they included an animal he insisted reminded him of you.

and you would do the same. it was your little thing, reserved just for the two of you.

but not anymore. not since you introduced him to your best friend.

sakai moka. even her name was gorgeous.

your best friend since highschool. the two of you had clicked immediately, after you witnessed her being teased relentlessly by some of the other girls in your school and stood up for her.

you had zero tolerance for bullying.

so why did you feel like you regret it now? like you regret saving her from the wolf pack of girls who berated her with harsh insults.

and all because of him.

—

as soon as you introduced moka to jaehyun you knew it was over. you’d never seen his eyes gloss over as much as they did when he first lay eyes on her.

he perked up, eyes brightening as he extended his hand out to her. their handshake lasted longer than any physical contact you’d ever had with him.

they immediately hit it off.

so much for not having the data to converse with the opposite gender.

at first you don’t pay it any mind. you should be happy, right? that your two closest friends are hitting it off, hanging out together, texting, talking.

but you aren’t.

nevertheless, you try to ignore that creeping feeling in your stomach each time jaehyun mentions her name, his voice filled with appreciation or secret admiration.

on a friday night, you’re out with jaehyun at your favorite diner. it's tucked away, hidden between an old laundromat and a dvd store. the two of you have been here countless of times, but something in the air was different.

he’s different.

“did moka say she couldn’t make it?” it’s the first thing that comes out of his mouth as you settle into your seat.

you shoot him a look of confusion. “didn’t know i was supposed to invite her..?”

“oh c’mon, you know she’s always invited.”

and something about the way he says it makes you think he means something deeper. that he feels something deeper for her. something he can’t even seem to hide in front of you.

you awkwardly chuckle, looking away when he looks down at his phone.

“whatcha doing?” you try to lighten the mood, slightly lifting off your seat to glance at his phone screen. he grows rigid, immediately tucking his phone away from your line of vision.

“none of your business,” he looks annoyed when he says it, as if your presence is bothering him.

you try to play it off, you really do. maybe he’s just having an off day, you try to convince yourself. but deep down you already know the reason he’s being so secretive about his screen.

her.

the conversation drifts into something more lighthearted as the waitress sets the food down at the table. you glance at her, shooting her a soft smile, your eyes glued to your milkshake and fries.

“thank you,” you say in gratitude.

“anything for my favorite couple!” she replies cheerily.

that makes your heart skip a beat. but just as quickly, you feel it threaten to stop beating when jaehyun quickly corrects her.

“pssht, we’re not a couple, never in a million years.”

there it goes. your heart shatters into millions of pieces. the way he says it so casually, so assuredly as if even entertaining the thought was something so diabolical—insulting even.

you can’t even find it in you to force yourself to laugh. even the waitress’s expression falters at his words as she turns and skates back to the kitchen.

how humiliating.

how utterly humiliating.

and that was your last straw. from that day on, you and jaehyun almost completely stopped texting. of course you couldn’t just completely stop talking to him, the boy still held a large spot in your heart. but you knew you needed to, because everytime a notification from him popped up on your phone, you felt your heart ache.

and not in a good way.

you think it’s okay at first. keeping him at a distance, but still close enough to fulfill your delusional fantasies about him. you’d still reply with laughing emojis every time he tags you in a silly instagram reel. still pick up his facetime call every time he showed you something stupid only the two of you would understand.

but even you got tired at one point.

and that point was when moka started creeping into the picture, slowly but surely. like a hidden soldier infiltrating a military base from the inside out.

—

it started with instagram.

you notice it immediately. in each post he’d tag you in, her username would be right there next to yours. taunting you.

at first you don’t think much of it. the two of you were kind of a trio now, friends tag each other on posts all the time. but then it got worse.

you would stumble across a funny video–a funny reel–and think of him. but just as you open the comment section to tag him, her name would already be there. alone.

next was the facetime calls. he’d call you sporadically, one day even while you were at work in the little local cafe down the street.

your finger swipes the green button, and jaehyun’s face appears. only he’s not alone; moka’s in the background.

“what’s up?” you question dryly, already feeling your mood deflated at the sight of her. you know you shouldn’t feel this way, not about your best friend. but you do.

“moka just showed me this cool trick she can do,” he sputters between laughs. “moka, show her!”

moka smiles at you through the camera, her fingers appear, bending in a way that makes you want to squirm. but you don’t find it funny. nothing about this was funny.

not when you had a front row seat to your crush of 2 years falling in love with your best friend.

—

jaehyun thinks he’s going crazy. at first he doesn’t notice it. he doesn’t notice how you always decline whenever he or moka invite you to their hangouts. doesn’t notice when your texts come by less and less often.

doesn’t notice when he hasn’t seen you in a month.

but then he does. and it’s driving him insane. your usually well thought out replies to the stories he posted are replaced with stuff like, “lol” or “this made me laugh.” and after a while you just stopped replying all together.

not even an emoji reaction.

his mind is reeling. he even asks moka about you, despite their growing closeness. he hasn't forgotten about you. not entirely.

she doesn't have much of an answer herself, considering you’ve been distancing yourself from the both of them. but she doesn't seem to mind as much. she has jaehyun, why would she?

even your weekly calls are completely diminished. jaehyun would call you, moka nearby as he waited expectantly. but you don’t answer.

he’d blow up your phone, message after message, missed call after missed call.

then finally, you cave in.

“i was just trying to show you what moka and i came up with for my presentation tomorrow: how to rig a claw machine!” he beams at you as moka holds up a neatly decorated powerpoint to the screen. “neat, isn’t it?”

it was definitely the work of her hands. and that just made it hurt even more.

silence.

“is everything okay?” he asks hesitantly.

“yeah, that’s cool. listen, i’ve gotta go. next time, only call me if it’s something important.”

then you hang up before you can see the look of hurt on his face. you feel bad, you really do, for minimizing his project the way you did. but it was necessary.

necessary for you to heal.

—

you don’t cry after the call. you don’t even flinch. instead, you stare at your dimming phone screen, watching it fade to black like the fading space jaehyun used to occupy in your heart.

used to. you’re trying to convince yourself.

it’s been days since that last conversation. days since he’s reached out, and maybe this time he won’t. maybe he’s finally gotten the message.

but then again, you know jaehyun. he’s persistent. he’s kind. he’s warm in a way that’s impossible to replicate. and even now, when you’ve convinced yourself you’re better off apart—he still lingers.

like a song you can’t stop humming. a dream you wake up from but can’t forget.

—

the sky is overcast the next time you see him. of course it is.

it’s a chance encounter—you’re walking across campus with your headphones in when he spots you first. his voice cuts through the low hum of your music, and before you can pretend you didn’t hear, he’s already jogging up beside you.

“y/n,” he breathes, like he’s been chasing after you for more than just these few steps.

you stop walking.

he takes the opportunity to stand in front of you, hands tucked into the pockets of his hoodie, brows furrowed in thought. he looks different. tired, maybe. his hair’s a little longer, his eyes a little duller.

you hate how you still think he looks beautiful.

“you’ve been avoiding me,” he says quietly, a faint smile on his lips that doesn’t quite meet his eyes.

you shrug. “i’ve been busy.”

“with what? cutting me off?”

there’s a pause. you don’t say anything, and jaehyun lets out a humorless laugh.

“did i do something?” he asks. “because if i did, i—i want to know. i want to fix it.”

you finally look at him, and it’s a mistake.

because he’s looking at you like you’re important. like he missed you. and you want so badly to believe that means something. but it doesn’t—not when his heart already belongs to someone else.

“why?” you ask bitterly. “why do you care so much now?”

he blinks. “because you’re you. you’re… my best friend.”

there it is again. that damn phrase. it hits harder this time.

you take a breath, trying to hold yourself together.

“right,” you whisper. “of course i am.”

jaehyun frowns. “y/n…”

“i have to go,” you say, brushing past him before your voice can crack. before he can see your hands trembling.

“wait—”

you stop, just barely, not turning around. his voice is close, almost too close.

he sounds desperate when he says it. “don’t disappear on me again.”

your lips part, words threatening to tumble out. words like i love you, you broke me, she has everything i wanted. but none of it leaves your throat.

instead, you say softly, almost cruelly, “then don’t make it so easy to.”

and you walk away.

not knowing if he watched you go. not knowing if he called your name again. not knowing if he went home to moka that night.

all you know is that your heart still beats for him. and he’ll never hear it.

you won't let him.

-

m.list

[w4nderllust]

go read my pooks books

home ,, back ,, next

ENHYPEN

lee heeseung - ,,

n/a

park jongseong - ,,

n/a

sim jake - ,,

n/a

park sunghoon - ,,

n/a

kim sunoo - ,,

n/a

yang jungwon - ,,

n/a

nishimura riki - ,,

babying ni-ki

[w4nderllust]

Dang girl </3 stawp the way I reading these on the school bus 😩😩

I need more like these this is what I’m cravingg

lips like hers

taesan x fem!reader

summary: you lose yourself trying to become the girl taesan will never stop loving.

wc : 3.2k

the soft patter of rain thumped delicately against the glass of the window pane. taesan’s lip curled into a frown, his dark eyes narrowing at the sight.

he had never been particularly fond of the rain—its presence serving as a constant reminder of the tears that used to brim his eyes everytime he thought of the past. the past in which his heart was shattered by the girl he thought he would hold in his arms forever.

the girl he sought to marry one day. but it was over now—his dreams, his hopes, his aspirations. she had taken his fragile heart and crushed it into a lifeless and meaningless disarray of fragments.

and now who was he to trust? what was he to trust? nothing. nobody.

his slender fingers found their way into the stitched lining of his denim jean pockets, fishing for the familiar cardboard pack of marlboros. he knows he should quit—that he should have quit ages ago.

smoking wasn’t good for him. that’s what she’d always tell him. her soft whisper, lighter than a fluttering feather. her long hair, silky and smooth, draping over his neck as she softly angled her face to kiss him.

then she’d whisper sweet nothings—words of encouragement—to get him to stop. for her. for their future. but none of that exists anymore, not when she left him.

he finally finds it, forcefully smashing his thumb into the opening of the box before pulling a cancer stick out. he eyes it for a moment, holding it between his middle and index finger with practiced familiarity.

a lighter. he needs a lighter. his eyes scan the dimly lit classroom. neatly arranged wooden desks, all in rows of five vertically and horizontally. he knows he’s bound to find a lighter in someone’s desk, but he can’t feel it in him to get up.

his legs feel frozen—locked into place. as if someone had played a sick prank and dissected his body, disabling all of the nerves inside of him. his lips purse as he exhales in frustration.

who knew love could be so crippling? outside, the rain began to fall incessantly—harder—on the window pane as if mocking him. the roar of thunder sounded, as more clouds began to clump together, forming a blanket of gloom over the once clear sky.

what was the point of it all, he thought to himself. the ache of the dark bruise on his face permeated through his skull. his head pounded, and for a moment he was in disarray; completely unaware of his surroundings.

the cancer stick between his fingers wobbled dangerously, as if about to fall. his eyes fluttered shut, about to give in to the pain that his adrenaline had bid him to forget.

then everything went black.

—

taesan’s eyes felt as though they were being pinched shut when he gained consciousness. the pain on the left side of his eye had subdued, surprisingly, and beneath the splotches of colors that came from his eyes being shut too long, he could see light.

then he felt it. a ghost of warmth brushing against his thick layered tufts of hair. his eyes shot open at the feeling, a sharp pain coursing through his skull as he did so.

then he saw you. the girl he had only noticed maybe once or twice in his two years at the academy. you were quiet—almost invisible—mainly keeping to yourself and staying in the shadows.

come to think of it, taesan didn’t think he’d ever heard you speak at all. but here you were, your soft round features peering down at him as if he were a helpless creature. “where the hell am i?” he croaked, attempting to lift his body.

your palm gently pressed against his chest, your eyes shifting away from his cognac ones in embarrassment.

you had come upon taesan simply by chance. today you had stayed after school, deciding to spend a few hours in the library revising for an upcoming exam. a few hours turned into five,, and you weren’t even sure if the school was still open.

nonetheless, you packed up and headed out of the library. you had made sure to bring an umbrella, aware of the rainy forecast for the day. however, just as you stepped outside and into the rain, you noticed a slumped figure against the window sill of the classroom, prompting you to check it out.

it was taesan, his body seemingly lifeless, slumped against the window. his sharp features and high cheekbones appeared more relaxed in the dim lighting of the abandoned room, and yet you could still see the turmoil that stirred beneath his unconscious face.

the first thing you noticed was the angry purple bruise forming around his left eye as you dropped your things to tend to him. taesan had always been one of the more popular boys. he was good at sports, handsome, smart, and funny.

everyone liked him—including you. but you were the opposite. in the shadows, always making yourself smaller so as to not stand out.

you knew you probably shouldn’t have done it. that you probably should have left him there alone. you barely knew him, and he definitely didn’t know you.

but you couldn’t. not when he looked so vulnerable with his eyes clamped shut and his lips parted open as if he were in pain. not when you loved him.

you swallowed thickly, feeling his eyes burn holes into the side of your face. you couldn’t find it in you to look at him. to see the lack of recognition etched on his face.

“in the classroom.” you say almost inaudibly, your hand still lightly dotting the bruise on his face that had begun to subdue. taesan only studied you, his eyes blank with confusion.

he had no idea why you of all people were the one to find him here. or why you had him in such a compromising position—his head gently resting against your lap and the fabric of your skirt.

your fingers worked diligently, massaging the ointment from your first aid kit into the wound on his face gently. taesan clenched his teeth lightly hissing at the sensation.

“all done,” you whisper, your hands clasping the side of his head to lift him off your lap. taesan protests for a second before letting up, his vision blurring for a moment as he takes in his surroundings.

you’re busy packing up your first aid kit when he speaks. “why did you do this for me?” you avert your eyes to him, a pinched expression on his face as he questions you.

exhaling deeply, you simply shrug jumping off the ledge of the window. taesan’s eyes follow your every movement, the way you slightly cower under his gaze, pulling the ends of your oversized uniform cardigan over your hands as you hug yourself for solace.

he finds it surprisingly endearing. “i couldn’t just leave you like that…” you trail off, your voice low as you keep your head down stepping back a little.

taesan scoffs, his eyes drifting back to the window. rain still poured against the ground heavily, with bright streaks of lightning painting the dreary sky. he realizes he probably kept you from getting home, and despite himself he feels bad for it.

“got a lighter?” it’s the first words he speaks after a long silence. you nod at him, fishing in your bag for the familiar green decorated lighter you kept on you.

handing it to him, you watch his eyes gloss over in recognition before returning to their usual emptiness. you were hoping he’d remember it. it was the same lighter he had dropped a couple of months earlier.

you had tried to return it to him, racing after him, your lungs burning as you struggled to catch up to him. but he was so far ahead at the time—so far removed from you. even now.

holding the lighter to the end of his cigarette, he flicks the switch igniting it, before he inhales, tossing the lighter back to you. you nearly miss the catch, fumbling with it before tucking it securely back into your bookbag.

he exhales deeply, tilting his head back, his adam's apple on full display. you tuck a single strand of hair behind your ear, wringing your hands together as you gaze at him.

you hated cigarettes. you hated the smell, the look, the taste. everything about them. and yet taesan made them tolerable. so much so that you wouldn’t even mind if he kissed you right now, his cigarette ridden breath enveloping yours.

your cheeks burn at the thought, and you shift your weight from foot to foot, looking down as if taesan could somehow read your mind. taesan takes a few drags before jamming the butt of his cigarette against the window sill, a final billow of smoke seeping through his parted lips.

he looks down at you from under his lashes, studying you. just as he expected, you were nervous. fidgeting from side to side, your eyes never meeting his.

and he knows he shouldn’t, but he likes it. the feeling of having power—control—over something, anything in his life. even if it was you, the girl he never had a conversation with. the girl he never spared a glance at.

“what’s your name,” he questions, dropping the cigarette onto the ground as he steps off the window sill stamping it out.

“y/n” you answer coyly, your hands folded behind your back.

he merely chuckles, his molten eyes struggling to meet yours.

“it’s rude not to look at someone when they’re talking to you,” you shift uncomfortably, your cheeks burning at the condescending tone of his. you knew it wasn’t right for him to speak to you like this, but you were okay with it. because it’s taesan. the boy everyone likes. the boy you’ve liked since grade 6.

“i’m–i’m sorry.” you sputter, your hair falls over your face as you bow.

he hums in response, his shiny black loafers taking slow, measured steps closer to you. taesan knows he shouldn’t even think about doing what he’s about to do. but he can’t stop.

he’s drunk on the feeling of having access to you. the feeling of control.

he’s right in front of you now, the rich scent of ambrose wafting from his body infiltrates your nostrils as your breath hitches. his slender fingers cup just under your chin, lifting your head up to face him.

you’re close now. really close. closer than you’ve ever been to a boy.

“you’re cute. be my girlfriend.”

he says it casually, as if its not the question you’d been fantasizing about, daydreaming about almost every night as you lay your head to rest. your heart hammers in your chest, your mind running a thousand miles a minute.

“i–are you sure? no-one really knows–”

he cuts you off, leaning closer to your face. you smell the cigarette from earlier on his breath as he places his lips on yours–slow and smooth. his arm snakes around your waist, clasping it firmly as he pushes you into him.

your head tilts unconsciously giving him access to make the kiss deeper. his fingers scrunch the fabric of your cardigan, nails lightly digging into your back as he kisses you hunrgily.

he pulls away, his breathing heavy, and you swear you see a certain glint in his eye. one that sort of scared you. but you weren’t sure why.

“you’re my girlfriend now.”

—

taesan hadn’t meant it. he hadn’t found you cute, he didn’t truly want you to be his girlfriend. he just needed someone to fill the void.

you weren’t ugly, by any means. just plain. and taesan hated plain. he hated timid, he hated shy, he hated everything she wasn’t. and strangely enough, you were exactly that. you lacked any assertion—letting him speak to you in any way. when taesan told you to jump, you asked him how high.

it had gotten so bad that you even started smoking. he remembers it clearly. the two of you were snuggled up on the school roof, the cool crisp breeze creeping through the thin fabric of your polo causing you to shiver.

you were sat in taesan’s lap, your head nuzzled in his chest while he smoked a cigarette.

“why don’t you try one.”

his voice cut through the silence, soft and inviting. that’s how it always started. he would introduce you to something, make it seem like an option.

you shook your head, burying your face in his chest even further.

“c’mon don’t be a child, try one for me. just for me, baby,”

he’d always do that. call you sweet little pet names, make you feel like you weren’t enough if you didn’t do what he said. you sighed, your fingers shaking as you held your hand out to take the cancer stick.

“good job, that’s my girl.” he whispered into the nape of your neck, his long fingers closing around your own, situating the cigarette correctly.

“that’s it, just inhale. don’t choke, baby.” he coached you, his eyes glued to your lips as you pathetically attempted to inhale the smoke.

you sputtered out, coughing uncontrollably, tiny tufts of smoke leaving your mouth. your chest burned as you dropped the cigarette into his hands, leaning over to take a breath of air.

taesan knew he shouldn’t have been annoyed, but he was. it was like you couldn’t do any little thing the way she did. no matter how much he tried to change you, it would never work.

he thought you hadn’t noticed. that you hadn't noticed the bored and irritated look in his eyes. but you had. and it scared you.

scared you that you might lose him if you didn’t do everything to appease him. so you learned. later that night you went to a gas station, purchasing a pack of cigarettes by flirting with the creepy old clerk.

as soon as you got home, you snuck into the bathroom, grabbing the same green lighter before lighting a cigarette. you tried many times.

fail after fail after fail. eventually, you learned.

you practiced every night, coughing through each drag until the burn in your chest didn’t feel like hell.

you started wearing the lipstick he said he liked on his ex. let your skirt ride a little higher, your words fall more assertive. you even started laughing like her.

because even if he never said it aloud, you knew. he didn’t want you. 

he wanted her, repackaged in your skin. and still, you stayed.

because even an illusion of the love you so desperately yearned for from him felt better than the emptiness waiting for you at home.

the broken, sad excuse of a place you called home. where your parents acted as if you never existed, except to badger you with words more hurtful than life.

“why can’t you be normal?” and “no wonder no one likes you.”

you thought maybe if taesan liked you—if someone, anyone, liked you—you could believe you were worth something.

but love built on lies always sours.

—

you started noticing it in the little things. the way he never looked at you when he said “i love you.” the way his fingers twitched with frustration when you said the wrong thing. the way he flinched when you reached for his hand in public.

he never meant for it to be this way.

at first, it was just comfort. warmth. you were quiet, and quiet was good. quiet didn’t fight back. quiet didn’t scream or cry or throw things.

quiet didn’t break his heart the way she did.

but soon, your quietness became suffocating. you weren’t her. you never would be. 

and taesan hated that.

 he hated the way your eyes followed him like a lost puppy. hated the way you tried so hard to be someone he could love.

and hated himself even more when he started to notice. because one day, he noticed. the way you lit his cigarette before he even asked. the way your body curled into his like a puzzle piece that had always belonged. the way you’d say his name in the same tone she would.

he noticed. and it scared the hell out of him.

so he pushed harder. treated you colder. and waited.

waited for you to finally crack and let him go.

and you did.

not all at once—but slowly. like a fraying thread pulled too tight.

you stopped talking as much. your grades dropped. you came to school with dark circles under your eyes, eyes that no longer lit up when he entered the room. you looked like a ghost in your own body.

taesan barely noticed the shift. he was too busy convincing himself he didn’t care. until the day you stopped showing up.

at first it was just one day. you must have been sick, he convinced himself as he settled into his seat ignoring the joyful greetings of your classmates.

but one day turned into days.

days turned into weeks.

no messages. no calls. silence.

until he finally found the note.

the note you placed in his locker, folded neatly with his name written in your handwriting—before he had ruined you. 

he didn’t even realize his hands were trembling until he opened the note and read it.

taesan,

i’m sorry i wasn’t what you needed.

i thought if i tried hard enough, if i loved you enough, i could be. but i know now that i was never meant to be her. and i don’t want to be anymore.

i’m tired.

you told me once i was cute. that i was your girlfriend. you kissed me and made me feel like i mattered. but it was never real, was it? i don’t hate you. i think a part of me never could. but i hate who i’ve become around you.

so i’m leaving. not just school, but all of it. everything that’s made me feel small i hope one day you find her again. maybe she’ll be enough for you, because i never was.

goodbye, y/n

he read it once. then twice. the words swimming in his mind.

he laughed. a hollow, disbelieving laugh that got stuck in his throat.

then he crumpled it in his fist and pressed it to his lips, as if somehow he could still taste you there.

it all hit him like a punch—a punch that created the same bruise that ached incessantly that very day he asked you to be his girlfriend.

—

he missed you.

he was finally able to admit it. after days of convincing himself he didn’t care, that it was your fault, that he hated you.

he missed you.

not the fake version of you. not the replacement. not the obedient shell of a girl he had forced you to be.

no, he missed the girl who found him broken and still tried to fix him. the girl who lit his cigarettes with shaking hands. the girl who loved him when he didn’t deserve it.

but it was too late.

you were gone.

and you weren’t coming back.

and for the first time since his ex left, taesan cried.

not because someone broke his heart.

but because this time, he was the one who broke someone else’s.

-

a/n: I love writing angst :( my bby taesan would NEVER act like this 💔 check out my wp: jaeyuniism and if you have any reqs, please feel free to lmk!

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imagine babying ni-ki

a/n: idcidc ni-ki is not nonchalant 💔 this is heavily inspired by @purinfelix so thank you to them <3

wc : 343

ni-ki’s never been too particularly fond of appearing vulnerable—especially in front of you. but behind closed doors, it was a completely different story. that’s exactly why he was leaned back in his chair, arms crossed with a stubborn pout adorning his beautifully crafted face. “ni-ki, what’s wrong?” you question from your bed. your eyes were still glued to your phone screen, and if you were being honest, you knew. you knew exactly what was wrong with ni-ki, but you wanted him to say it. recently, his schedule with the boys had been packed, with the new comeback coming up. today was one of his few days to rest, and he was exhausted. but being the big baby he is, he refused to show it. however, the cute little tired lines and dark circles under his expressive eyes told you enough: he was exhausted. “nothing,” he huffed, his eyes beginning to flutter shut. “c’mere riki,” you coo, finally putting your phone down to let him into your arms. he stays put for a moment, but his resolve finally shatters and he’s up and in your arms in less than a second. you pull him into your lap, your fingers gently pushing his head against your chest as you drape a blanket over your bodies. you’re all wrapped up now, legs tangled, his face smooshed against your collar bones. at first he tries to act unaffected, claiming he’s “just resting his eyes” when his lashes threaten to meet, but the way he whines when you shift ever so slightly gives him away. you can’t help but swoon at how comfortable he looks laying flush in your arms. your thumb traces the curve of his jawline, all the way down to his plump pouty lips. he places a soft kiss against the pad of your thumb, his cheeks flushing a warm shade of pink as he does so. the sight is enough to make you melt. “you’re my baby, okay?” you coo, as he nuzzles into your neck, mumbling. “you always baby me,” he sounds whiny—bothered, even—when he says it, but the way he leans into your neck tells you he's anything but bothered. “because you let me,” you whisper into his hair, and he only hums in response, squeezing your waist even tighter. 

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I rlly love the layout 😆

aicha intj 18 christian ults ; enhypen boynextdoor

home I do not write smut, so please do not req it

socials . . .

pin. frolickingbrunette

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I love I lovee I loveeee~ 🎵 😆😆

everything i never had

sungho x fem!reader

summary: you were just the quiet girl behind the camera — always watching, never seen. but park sungho was different. he was everything..until he wasn't

wc : 525

park sungho was gorgeous.

not in a superficial, passing crush sort of way. no—he was beautiful in a picturesque way. the kind of beautiful that made you believe he belonged in a world-renowned art museum, displayed behind glass, revered and admired for generations to come.

that was exactly why you crouched behind stalks of grass every day at lunch, your hand trembling slightly as you pressed the shutter, capturing yet another photo of the boy you adored.

with his head thrown back, tufts of his lucious brown hair falling over his face gracefully, and that easy going smile carved perfectly into his features—you could only imagine what it might feel like to be on the receiving end of that joy, his smile.

you would peer down at your camera, your finger gently tracing over the screen, over his radiant smile frozen in time. you would smile softly at the sight. another picture to add to your growing collection.

of course, sungho had no idea. he was completely oblivious. in truth, he didn’t even know you existed outside of the classroom.

sungho wasn’t necessarily popular, but he was well known—respected by your peers. adored for his adorable cat-like features, his friendly smile, his thoughtful charm. he was one of the most loved and admired people of your class.

but you admired him differently. more.

nobody noticed the small scrunch of his nose when he got too excited the way you did. or how he’d hid that winsome grin behind his hand— and how you ached to move it, just to see him smile freely.

how you’d memorized the pattern of moles scattered across his face, like a glittering constellation stitched just for you. to you, park sungho wasn’t just beautiful—he was everything.

everything you wanted.

everything you wished to be.

everything you never had.

and in a world where you were nothing, who wouldn’t want everything?

unlike sungho, you were quiet—nearly invisible. you had no close friend, not even one. you were just the girl in the photography club. the girl behind the camera. always in the background, unseen, unnoticed.

and in a way, you liked it that way. it made it much easier to savor the small moments you shared with him—even if they were entirely one-sided.

but sometimes, just sometimes, a small part of you wished that in a room where you blended into the shadows you’d come to call home… he might notice you. that he’d meet your eyes and really see you—not the role you played, but the person beneath it.

that one day he would approach you, that familiar, heart stopping smile on his face as he reached out his hand, offering you the world. 

a world with just the two of you. no one else.

but that would never happen. 

because park sungho didn’t see you. 

no—he couldn’t see you.

and still, you hadn’t come to terms with it.

even as you placed a single lily against the gravestone, the one with his name beautifully carved in clean, perfect lettering:

in loving memory of park sungho.

in loving memory of all the memories you never had the chance to share.

-

a/n ; been suffering from writers block for a min now so im just getting back in the groove ;c

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wow themee

Thanks my pookie 🥰🥰

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As we all know, she loves the glamorous lifestyle, all the shopping, luxurious dresses, fancy parties, beautiful hotels, holidays to amazing destinations.. you name it💗🛍️💋

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LEERIONZ: 123-78 @ NO GENRE comeback showcase

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PARK JI-HOON THE MAN YOU AREEEEEEEE🫦 (not my video btw)

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WATTPADDDDD

guys check out my series on wattpad @ kitty-valentine pls and thank youuuu x

My Stories - Wattpad