wait-my-dead

[wait-my-dead]

Bye Tumblr 🪽🪽🪽🪽

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want to cut so bad

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i am sorry mom

I want to get better, I am in therapy but I do not feel better.

I hate myself, I want to die...

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I’m constantly fighting for a life I didn’t even want in the first place

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Martha Gellhorn, from a letter to Robert Sherrod featured in The Selected Letters of Martha Gellhorn

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Anton Chekhov, from The Complete Works of Anton Chekhov; “Ivanov,”

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I need a hug.

Fuck I need more than that

I need rope to tie me so tightly the pieces will stay together

[wait-my-dead]

Life isn't for everyone,

At least I know that it's not for me.

It was meant for the strongest ones,

And I was never that one.

I was never strong,

Never built to survive.

I was never meant to last as long as I have.

In a world full of love,

My heart aches to be surrounded with it.

Willing to beg for any sign of it,

To give up it's life in the name of it.

But no matter how much you're willing to give,

It'll never feel enough.

I'll never feel enough.

I am not enough.

[wait-my-dead]

Feeling stupid after therapy,

is it normal?

I left crying hating myself more so I cut myself

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Constantly switching between healing and complete self destruction

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please dont self sabotage again fuck fuck fuck

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I just wanted to feel like I was worth something

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Even on good days if you ask me whether I want to end it all, I'm still gonna say yes. It has become my default mood. My template. My natural state of being. No amount of happiness can fix me.

[wait-my-dead]

still alone, with suicidal ideas, unstable, crying every day. But I have to hold on to my sanity and be a functional adult.

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It's Britney, bitch

And I am back

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I'm ruining everything bit by bit and I don't even realise it.

I won't, until it's all gone.

[wait-my-dead]

After so many years, it stings to shower again