wandanats-wife-quotes - Tumblr blog

[wandanats-wife-quotes]

Y/n; my milkshakes bring all th boys to th yard but I tell them "go away I'm gay but if you have a sister let her swing my way"

Nat: an that kids is how we met

Yelana blahh bwaehhh *gagging noises

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On tiktok, "kill john Lennon" comes on

Anya walks over: yea mom?

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Y/n: when you have kids and wives you can refer to them a mommy in an out of the bedroom-

Lady: Ma'am pls just place your order

(When i go missing assume sewer slide attempt)

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Y/n: I told the twins that chicken the food an chicken the animal were the same fully expecting melt down instead they started clapping

Y/n: raising Hydra agents 😶‍🌫️

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Unknown number : we have your children

Y/n: what are your demands

Unknown number : are you crazy we have your children it's and hour past pickup please come get them

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At interview *

Interviewer: black widow Mrs. Romanoff, what do you do to stay in shape

Nat: kill and torture men who ask those questions

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Therapist: how many drinks do you consume a week

Y/n: 1

Therapist: one? That's it

Y/n: one shelf

Therapist : ok- do you excercise

Y/n: chasing after toddlers and love making

Therapist : do you know if mental health issues run in the family

Y/n: my uncle does yoga and my dad once fucked a duck

Therapist: 😨 Okk then do you have any allergys

Y/n: I'm allergic to bullshit

Wanda from th other room: and nuts

Y/n: and nuts

Therapist : do you have any hobbies

Y/n: no but I do have kinks

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just a psa: if you sit by and let people get bullied on this app, you are no better than bully.

we are all adults, let’s respect each other and not be rude. it’s childish, it’s gross, it shows the content of your character. do better

if you support the bullying of sweet ppl on this app, pls block me.

[wandanats-wife-quotes]

lesbians love and support our trans sisters 💖💖

[wandanats-wife-quotes]

Y/N: WANDAAAA

Wanda: WHAT

Y/n: guess what your brother taught me

Wanda: what

Y/n: apparently humans arnt bullet proof

Wanda with red eyes*

Y/n: natty!

Nat: nah ah you did this to yourself

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Y/N: WANDAAAA

Wanda: WHAT

Y/n: guess what your brother taught me

Wanda: what

Y/n: that humans arnt bullet proof

Wanda with red eyes*

Y/n: natty!

Nat: nah ah you did this to yourself

[wandanats-wife-quotes]

[After meeting Natasha's parents]

Y/N: I think your family liked me...

Natasha: My mother begged you to marry me before we left.

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Y/n: Life is just BDSM and no one knows the safe word

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Y/n: what's sonething on your bucket list you've always wanted to do?

Nat: skydive without a parachute

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Wanda: what do we say if we get the urge to throw ourselves off a cliff

Y/n looking at nat: it's ok let me go

[wandanats-wife-quotes]

Sorry was in grippy sock jail

If you're stressy and depressy dye your hair

If you're stressy and depressy dye your hair

If you're stressy and depressy and your life is really messy

If you're stressy and depressy dye your hair

[wandanats-wife-quotes]

*In therapy *

Therapist: do you promise to try and not kill yourself until next session

Y/n: cross my heart and hope to die

Therapist : than- Y/N!