wax-on-canvas - Tumblr blog

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I’m not doing this again

Spending my days wondering why me, why why

What a waste of my time

I could just leave you to it - call this a day…

But I’ve developed and so, I won’t walk away sister!

I will be better than I ever thought to be

Fall in love and live graciously

And that will be enough for my heart and it

Will probably drive you a little mad

No more time spent on my faults

Why, I have so much more to enjoy.

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How could I have guessed in my infantry that one bright morning I would be spilling the very contents of my psyche to almost strangers.

Bent over a glass of Glen’s and snorting oblivion through a fiver.

Telling someone the truth about all my welts and bruises. Just telling the truth even… who could have guessed.

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I promise.

To love with my whole heart as broken as it is.

To take it all in with a pinch of salt.

Not to aggravate unhappiness when I could be content.

To love myself above all else.

To free myself from obligation and duty where there is no tenderness for me.

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It’s hot in hell.

No one should know the depth of my dreams, nor the root of my anger, polluting my being.

And no one should know how it curdles my blood - til I recoil from the warmth of a hug.

Yes I am blind, often, at times, by my own rage and sadness and bile.

But when he said ‘jaded’ it felt like a scene - I saw my descent and wanted to scream.

Tumbling farther and farther beneath, I swallow raindrops to carry with me.

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Patience - quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence.

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She’s going to be fine.

She’s going to be fine because it all works out in the end.

She’s going to be fine because she is the strongest woman I know and I’ve known a lot of strong women.

She’s going to be fine because there’s no other option I can see myself surviving.

She’s going to be fine because surely we have suffered enough.

She’s going to be fine because I don’t want to find God and kill him for her sake, but I will.

So for now I will believe that she is going to be fine.

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And just like that, without really meaning to, you shattered my hope.

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It’s a wonder how men are born in love with themselves and women are born girls.

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Black woman, you are more than your allure. You are the ocean - deep, dark and unyielding. Gentle strength and fluid motion. Ebbing and flowing.

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Blackness, Diversity and Communications

For many, the year 2020 brought both challenges and victories. The novel Coronavirus monopolised news streams for the better part of the year, but the world also found itself reeling from other key events, namely - the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement following the deplorable murder of George Floyd. Since Floyd’s death, over two thousand cities and towns in all fifty states of America marched and protested police brutality. Sixty other countries also protested, and as we can see, the momentum on this movement continues to grow in 2021.

As well as the pre-existing conversation surrounding anti-black and brown racism and the lack of accountability in disciplining police violence, there are still many layers beyond this which need to be examined. Within this endemic; unjust and wholly ineffective stop and search laws, the school to prison pipeline as well as the skills and pay gap are to name a few. Now more than ever, leaders of industry are to determine whether they are to lead change or take a backseat as the world progresses, to their own detriment.

This cultural shift in perspective has been long overdue. People are looking for solution-based commentary, new ideas and new initiatives to combat injustice in all spheres of society.

Diversity and Communications

“Agencies are really being called to the carpet, and they have to wake up and stop using the excuse that they can’t find qualified minority candidates. They are there. We have to go to where these people are”

The recent Black Lives Matter movement coupled with the #BlackoutTuesday campaign has illuminated an out of touch industry. Organisations jumped at the chance to show solidarity yet many of these same organisations have been criticised for talking the talk and failing to demonstrate positive, quantifiable action. It is no longer enough to simply talk about diversity, it must be championed and actioned in our workspace and in our attitudes.

Consumers, specifically young people, can easily see through disingenuous tactics. The Communications sector itself has become increasingly diverse in some respects - 64% of professionals identify as women and with the industry average age being 28 - the sector should theoretically stand at the helm of change.

Global Communications requires global representation

For global communication leaders it is not just a ‘good idea’ to promote a diverse workforce, it is a financial imperative and it should be regarded as such. Impactful storytelling and audience insight are integral to a successful PR campaign. This is only achieved with a diversity of thought within organisations. C​ ompanies in the top quartile for racial and ethnic diversity are 35 percent more likely to have financial returns above their respective national industry medians.

As well as fostering an inclusive working environment, there is a need to tackle to issues which may repel young black and brown professionals from the industry altogether. Amongst these is a lack of representation in boardrooms and higher-ranking managerial roles. It stands as a bleak indication that progression for marginalised groups is not a priority within business.

Confronting unconscious bias is but one factor within a greater strategy, seeking to dismantle unproductive and unethical workplace culture, we must also create welcoming spaces and actively seek out talent in recruitment practises.

Stagnant ideals do not bear fruit in the age of technology and transparency, and so, no organisation can grow if it does not challenge itself and its values. Focusing on amplifying black and brown voices, creating spaces and opportunity for the disabled community, the LGBTQ+ community and other marginalised individuals will only strengthen and solidify integrity and add much needed value to organisations.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”​ —Maya Angelou

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Realising that being viewed as a sexual being and a feminine being isn’t the same thing.

When they see you through a lens of sex, that’s all you will ever be. A mountain to conquer and leave.

When they see you through the lens of the divine, you are a rare gem to be cherished, spoken softly to, touched gently and loved deeply.

[wax-on-canvas]

Realising that being viewed as a sexual being and a feminine being isn’t the same thing.

When they see you through a lens of sex, that’s all you will ever be. A mountain to conquer and leave.

When they see you through the lens of the divine, you are a rare gem to be cherished, spoken softly to, touched gently and loved deeply.

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Say something pretty to combat the ugly inside you. Say it enough times and it will be too loud for the ugly to handle.

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The gentle pressing of fingertips into skin.

A wonderous ache of needing.

The ghost of your breath and the pull of your eyes.

Fixated on a feeling.

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Black woman, you are more than your allure. You are the ocean - deep, dark and unyielding. Gentle strength and fluid motion. Ebbing and flowing.

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We are made up of bits and pieces of the people we love.

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Good things happen to me.