well-whoop-de-doo - Tumblr blog

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Our engagement shoot, in my grandmother’s back garden. Karolina Kotkiewicz Photography.

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reblog this if you want anonymous opinions of you

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I picture my intrusive thoughts are Trump.

Trump: You’re failing everyone you love. 

Well, pal, you’re a white supremacist piece of shit, so fuck you.

Pretend ur invasive self hating thoughts r being said to u by a 13 y/o boy on xbox live trying to get a rise out of you like “Your girlfriend dumped you because you’re ugly” that’s nice tim isn’t it past ur bedtime

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I’m going to be a wife

Really soon. And it kinda terrifies me, because I don’t know if I can be the wife my partner deserves. He’s selfless, and caring, and kind. And I can be bitchy and ungrateful and a pain in the ass. I feel angry that every single last detail lands on me because everyone else is too busy to take care of picking flowers and getting bridesmaids’ dresses altered. I feel ashamed that I’m not bringing in enough income to help more to pay for ridiculous things like make up artists and wedding favours. And most of all, I’m worried. 

I worry that marrying a man (even though he’s the love of my life) will revoke my queerness as a pansexual woman. I didn’t attend Pride because of this fear. Like many pan or bi people, I’ve never attended Pride.

I worry that taking his last name will make people think less of me as a feminist, even though I just want to have the same last name as our kids.

I worry that I can’t have biological children (the reason is TMI, if you want to know message me).

I worry that I’m going to mess up the vows I wrote in an alcohol-fuelled swell of love and tears. (I’ve been crying a lot lately. It happens.) I’ve been told they’re lovely, and just nerdy enough to be perfect for us. I’m going to cry.

I worry that I’m going to trip on my beautiful, expensive dress, and make an ass of myself, or worse, destroy the dress. I’ve made an ass of myself before, the dress is blameless.

I worry that I’m going to get drunk and ruin our reception, because I’ll be so anxious about the various fuck-ups that could happen I’m going to struggle to eat on the day.

I worry that, when we have kids, either biologically or otherwise, I’ll be a shit mother. I have several mental illnesses, self harm scars all over my body, and I still dissociate more than I let on.

I worry that I’ll be a shit wife. That I’ll be so wrapped up in my own emotions that I don’t make time for his. I don’t give a shit if the bathroom is clean, and neither does he, but I don’t want to fail him at the important stuff.

But despite the trepidation I feel about the wedding day, I know we’ll be okay. I know he’ll never think I’m a shit wife or mother. I know he’ll support me, and I’ll support him, whatever form that takes. I know that, when I make these vows, even if I ruin my makeup with tears streaming down my face, I will make them sincerely, with hope and honour and love. And I know he’ll make his the same way. And I am 100% sure no one will read this, but I needed to shout into the void that, although I am worried, I am not afraid. I love this man, and he loves me. I will not be less as a wife, I will be more. I will be all the things I always was - a strong, feminist, pansexual woman. And I will have an amazing partner by my side, and we will enable each other to be more together than we ever were by ourselves.

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This is so pure

@ppl who get embarrassed bc they responded “you too” to a server who told them to enjoy their meal: if your first instinct is to be polite & friendly even when you’re not necessarily paying attention you have nothing to b embarrassed about

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I know this website is so american-centric but I want to get this out there because the referendum is fast approaching.

On the 25th of May in Ireland, we’re having a referendum to decide if the laws in Ireland that make abortion illegal will be removed or will remain.

I just want to say how important it is that we vote yes, to remove these laws from the constitution.

As of now, abortion is illegal in the Republic of Ireland unless the life of the mother is at risk of death, including suicide. It is also illegal to travel abroad for an abortion or even learn about where they can get an abortion outside of the state. Those who do so can face up to 14 years in jail.

There have been terrible things that have happened to women in Ireland that could have been prevented by allowing them to have an abortion.

One such case is of Savita Halappanavar, who went to hospital with back pains, suffered a miscarriage and died in hospital seven days later. Savita and her husband, Praveen, asked several times for an abortion but were denied because the medical team deemed her life not to be in danger. They were also told “this is a Catholic country”, and so Savita died.

There are countless of other cases and stories of Irish women who have been denied abortions or who have travelled to the UK for abortions.

Every year over 170,000 women leave the country for an abortion or order abortion pills online, risking their lives. Those who leave the country are mailed back the dead foetus.

These women face so much. Only a couple of decades ago, pregnant, unmarried woman were being locked up in laundries, where they were forced to work there for the rest of their lives away from a society that shamed and disowned them. Their babies were often given away or mistreated. They babies that didn’t survive were buried in unmarked graves, as were the woman.

Things like this could have been prevented by abortion. But my country doesn’t seem to care enough about the lives of women to help them and prevent this.

You don’t have to be Irish to reblog this. But please help spread the word and help us vote yes and change our laws for our women

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And they say chivalry is dead

What a gentleman

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Bi ppl: *exist*

My ace ass: 

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Abortion is the symptom, not the problem

Either I’ve already lost you, or you’re willing to listen, so, let me tell you a thing.

The problem is unwanted pregnancies.

Every pro-choice person I’ve ever known, myself included, doesn’t think abortion is a great thing. It’s a difficult choice. It’s sometimes a heartbreaking necessity. It’s a painful option. It’s not something we want, in an ideal world there would be no abortions... because there would be no unwanted pregnancies.

But there are. Because:

Sexual education is sorely lacking, all over. Many places insist on abstinence-only sex ed, which means that when (WHEN) people have sex, they have no knowledge of how to protect themselves from pregnancy and STDs.

Contraception is confusingly explained, and sometimes hard to obtain. When I was 19 I had to go on the oral contraceptive pill for health reasons, and it gave me horrible side effects. Then, when I wanted it for family planning, no one told me I could have the injection, or the implant, which might lessen side effects (which the implant did, it’s been great.)

Drug and alcohol education is sorely lacking. Most young people (and older people) will do some form of drug, or drink, during their lives, but there is no education about it other than “Drugs are bad. Alcohol is bad. No.” There should be education is schools about what drugs have what effects, what alcohol does to you, how that impacts sex, consent, and a whole load of other lifestyle choices.

There is little to no sex education for queer people. When I was in school, no one mentioned dental dams, or lube (which can also be helpful in heterosexual relationships) or anything remotely LGBTQ+. So bi girls who occasionally have sex with straight men (or vic versa) may have different expectations. Same with trans men/women with their partners. There is no education on these issues.

Consent as an issue itself. Teenagers especially have little to no education on consent, but then sometimes neither do full-grown adults. With new forms of abuse like ‘stealthing’ (removing or omitting the condom without telling the partner) the need to establish trust and consent with a partner is paramount, but it has never featured in any sex ed class I was in. Even in a non-abusive relationship, consent is still something people need education about. “Condoms don’t feel good.” “I don’t have one, let’s just risk it this once.” Not okay.

But we’re still going with abortion as the problem, rather than the symptom?

Sometimes abortion is the only way to save the parent’s life, or their sanity. Rape and incest are real reasons to have an abortion, if you want one.

And that’s the thing I don’t understand about a bunch of white middle-aged men discussing abortion while they lack uteruses. (uteri?)

Ultimately, if you don’t like abortion, you shouldn’t get one. But your preference should not dictate someone else’s right to choose what happens to their body.

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Tannoy voice: Serotonin? Serotonin? Your brain’s body is looking for you. It’s been years. You two need to talk. 

Hey dude, where’s my

dopamine

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I have GOT to start looking at URLs...

I was in a house with the living corpses of people who had been viciously murdered, but all I had to do to avoid them was not open the doors to the rooms they were in, even though they could have easily opened the doors on their own. The person I was with opened a coat closet and was momentarily frightened by a life-size doll of a child lying face down on a pile of suitcases and purses, but then I saw its hand move and realized it was another corpse, so I closed the closet door before it could get up. It was a fairly mild dream, considering how much control I had over it, but I was absolutely terrified the whole time. 

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I need something

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In honor of Janelle Monáe coming out I put together a lil graphic about bi & pan identities! This is based on my own experiences within the community as someone who uses both terms. It of course does not cover everything! Image description under the cut.

Keep reading

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YES!!!!

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I got fired. I am feeling the actual worst. Can I have any hugs or happy thoughts? Please? Maybe a cute animal pic?

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Fiancé just got a haircut, then annoyed me, so I referred to him as 'a recently released Jean Valjean'.

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OK, speaking slowly, for the last time...

Your sex is currently defined by the genitals you appear to possess at birth. However, genetic ‘males’ can present as female, and vice versa. Also, people can have chromosomes that make them genetically both, or neither. There are not “only two sexes”.

Your gender is how you relate to your body and gender identity. This develops as you do, can be fluid, and does not necessarily correspond with your medically assigned sex. There are not “only two genders”.

This is science, not politics. And if this doesn’t apply to you, just do everyone a favour and stay the fuck out of it.

This has been a PSA.