wetmushroomstew

[wetmushroomstew]

Show up at work like hi boss sorry I'm late my I was helping my mother track down one specific 90s dungeon crawler for the purposes of obtaining a muffin recipe the developer hid in the files

[wetmushroomstew]

i am not joking we need to force teach cooking in schools. like. it is an essential thing for survival. do you know how easy it is to make things if you know even the bare bones shit about how cooking works. we need to teach teenagers how far you can take an onion and some other veggies it''s sad that people grow up not knowing how to prepare literally anything. and i'm not talking about oh this home ed class taught me how to make chicken nuggets at home i'm talking about learning the balancing of sweetness and acidity and saltiness and bitterness and shit like that and techniques and oil temperatures and how meats cook. it needs to be taught because it's literally not even that difficult and it matters so much

[wetmushroomstew]

IF YOU DRAG THE WRITE TWEET BUTTON IT DRAGS A ROW OF ICONS

[wetmushroomstew]

TIL it's Panic at the Disco and not Don't Panic at the Disco

[wetmushroomstew]

How is bnha anime of the decade...... they aren’t even anime of the hour of the minute of the second

[wetmushroomstew]

girl nervously googling “top ten normal objects to own”

[wetmushroomstew]

Heres the thing you gotta understand about statistics. 

“Increases your chances by 80%” does not mean “there is now an 80% chance”. 

If your chances were previously 10%, your chances are now 18%, not 90%. 

if your chances were roughly 1%, they’re now just slightly less than 2%. 

thats how that works. 

[wetmushroomstew]

just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency:/

[wetmushroomstew]

Oh God, this reminds me of the time I was working at my supermarket job without enough sleep and kept constantly thinking I was going to get ganked in my lane because in my head I was Sett and not a dumbass stocking shelves

I just want y’all to know that one time during lockdown I played a lot of Minecraft because I had nothing better to do and then later I was going to go into my room after a shower so I could go back to being a hermit but it was dark so I just thought “oop, can’t go in there, there’ll be skeletons spawning there and they’ll shoot at me”

And for LIKE FIVE WHOLE SECONDS I didn’t question it and I just turned on the lights and walked out into the living room to wait it out, just thankful I had my pajamas on already so I didn’t have to fight off the shooty skeletons in my dark closet where there might be some creepers too

And then all of a sudden I was like “Wait what the frig skeletons aren’t real” and then just went back into my room

And I think about that a lot. So if ANY OF YOU dare to think that I have any more than three and a half braincells on a really good day, just please remember this and know that you are sorely mistaken

[wetmushroomstew]

tumblr is so different from other sites. if you say "he activated his autism beam" its with the agreement that everyone on the site is neurodivergent and respectful and find it funny via autism being powerful or whatever. if you saw that post on any other site it would be in mockery of autistic people. do you understand what im saying

[wetmushroomstew]

Generic slasher movie, but it's a bunch of goons robbing a bank in Gotham.

[wetmushroomstew]

Is beef a dairy product, since it comes from a cow?

[wetmushroomstew]

hold on a fucking second. delaware is a state?? i thought it was a river? or is the river more important than the state? why don't i know this? (i should mention i don't like in america, i'm just confused)

there is delaware (state) and delaware (river) 

both are equally strange

the state is a tiny little cryptid thing

the rive is a monster that spans new york, pennsylvania, new jersey and delaware. also washington crossed it once and that was like kinda a big deal i guess. like crossing the rubicon in rome.

the state tries to me more important with its “im the first state!!!” bs (seriously its even on the fucking license plates) but we all know. its the river.

[wetmushroomstew]

When Satan goes bald there'll be hell toupee.

[wetmushroomstew]

[wetmushroomstew]

Is sperm liquid flesh?