whattheschmuck - Tumblr blog

[whattheschmuck]

I am so turned on right now.

This is Nicole. She is an amazing Canadian wood-splitting machine.

I have a huge pet peeve about people swinging axes and sledgehammers without using the kinetic chain. You have to use your entire body to get real power in your swing. And in so many movies you see actors just trying to chop things with only their arms. But Nicole has perfect form. And cute pajamas.

I'm not sure if she is technically a lumberjill. I think she just refers to herself as a wood splitter. Either way, she is badass.

[whattheschmuck]

So anyways, I just revised and edited all of my earlier content, so instead of promoting my new chapters (I’ve added a few since my last post), I’m just gonna promote this fic as a whole. Plz check it out, I put a lot of effort into it :’)

Hi friends! I haven’t been very active on here in a while, but considering Twitter is a fiery shitshow and I heard tumblr brought the tiddies back, I’m probably going to revert to using this as my main art platform again. Anyways, I’ll probably rebrand to WhatTheSchmuck so look out for the name change.

In the meantime, I haven’t stopped writing my TR fanfic so come check it out! There’s quite a bit of new content that’s been uploaded. As in: I’ve probably written half of this fic in the last year and have no intentions of slowing down after a long hiatus.

[whattheschmuck]

[whattheschmuck]

crab uber

[whattheschmuck]

There’s only four days left! PLEASE reblog and donate only if you can! This really is a lovely project and I’m sure the whole team behind the film would greatly appreciate your help!

Spread this around! It only takes one click to do so!

Hi friends! A friend of mine and her team just launched a kickstarter for a queer short film they’re doing. Could y’all possibly donate to help fund this lovely project and maybe give this a reblog to spread the word around???

[whattheschmuck]

Hi, this is still a thing! Please spread the word and possibly donate <3

Hi friends! A friend of mine and her team just launched a kickstarter for a queer short film they’re doing. Could y’all possibly donate to help fund this lovely project and maybe give this a reblog to spread the word around???

[whattheschmuck]

*gets new follow*

*thinks it’s because someone genuinely enjoyed my art*

*it’s a porn bot*

*IT’S A FUCKING PORN BOT*

[whattheschmuck]

PSA for Ao3 Users:

Be sure to check the URL before clicking on any site to go to Ao3. I noticed today when I searched via Google Chrome that there is a false Ao3 site that comes up as the first result.

It says archiveofour.net

When you go to it, it looks EXACTLY like Ao3, but it is NOT.

When I curiously tapped the search bar, a pop-up opened to direct me elsewhere. I believe this to be a spoof site for the purpose of either phishing or possibly hijacking PCs for mining bitcoin or some other malicious purpose.

I could be wrong. Perhaps it's a proxy site- but the fact that it redirected me to yet another suspicious-looking URL is alarming.

I let a few friends know, but it doesn't appear on every browser. @plague-of-insomnia mentioned using CC and Safari, and it didn't appear for them.

Ya'll be careful, and remember to always check the URL! At first glance, this spoof site is very convincing. If I had been half asleep, I may not have noticed it was different.

Please reblog to make your friends and other fic writers and readers aware!

[whattheschmuck]

what they don’t tell you about making art is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHH!!!

[whattheschmuck]

Writing be like

*hits blunt*

*remembers traumatic, formative childhood memory*

“Welp, guess this is a chapter now.”

[whattheschmuck]

Hi, just boosting this again because Y’ALL. SHOULD. JOIN.

S.S. Endurance Discord Community

Hi friends! Since I’m active on tumblr again, I feel like it would be prudent to start pimping out the S.S. Endurance Crew discord server again. If you love Salara and wanna be in a group of people who share that interest, then this discord server is perfect for you! It is also admin’d by yours truly along with another friend.

Here’s the invite permalink: discord.gg/dG4PZf4

[whattheschmuck]

Pssst, read my pre-Yamatai Uni fic!

So, like, anyways more shit’s hitting the fan because apparently I’m just a dirty slut for angst.

[whattheschmuck]

Pressure to wrap up plot increases

*sweating intensifies because I, the author, have literally just been pulling shit out of my ass for the entire fic and hoping it sticks*

[whattheschmuck]

So like...when Lara and Sam gon' fuck?

*sweats and looks around nervously*

Whenever the characters let me, I suppose. They're quite difficult, after all.

[whattheschmuck]

So, like, anyways more shit’s hitting the fan because apparently I’m just a dirty slut for angst.

[whattheschmuck]

Hi friends! A friend of mine and her team just launched a kickstarter for a queer short film they’re doing. Could y’all possibly donate to help fund this lovely project and maybe give this a reblog to spread the word around???

[whattheschmuck]

Hi friends! A friend of mine and her team just launched a kickstarter for a queer short film they’re doing. Could y’all possibly donate to help fund this lovely project and maybe give this a reblog to spread the word around???