whoseontop

[whoseontop]

Just saw you got reposted to Instagram so I raise the question of Instagram or Pintrest?

Instagram is in some ways a spiritual successor to the keeping in touch aspect of Meta (nee Facebook). It's where I go to see people I haven't spoken to since high school trans their genders, the concert dates for my favorite musicians, and updates on ongoing atrocities, which totally doesn't give me whiplash and make me feel like I'm living in that Goddamn Bo Burnham song.

Pinterest is the social media site for teenagers who are either afraid of other social media sites, or who were raised by parents afraid of other social media sites. It can be used to gather photos for a given aesthetic, plan out a dream wedding at the age of 17, or compile fanart of your favorite ship.

So, if these two social media sites had gay sex

[whoseontop]

MONDALE SWEEEEEP!!!!!!!

Nixon and Reagan

Tricky Dick Nixon, the Watergate man, was the first US president elected via the primary system. He is best known for improving our relationship with China, being the last guy impeachment kind worked on, and starting the war on drugs to vilify hippies and black people

Infamous actor, Ronald Reagan, won in a landslide in 1984 (he never got Minnesota) and went on to depose democratic governments in Latin America, pass deregulation that would inadvertently lead to the 2008 housing crisis and bronies, and politely ask birthmark man to do some remodeling.

So, if these two decrepit racists had gay sex,

[whoseontop]

Austria-Hungary

the Austro-Hungarian empire was united under Hapsburg rule in 1867, and it lasted until the end of World War 1.

Austria is the German nation that ruled the Holy Roman Empire until it got booted by Prussia during unification. It gave the world Pastries, waltzes and bagels.

Hungary gave the world beautiful music, architecture, and pastrami. It's language's closest relative on the European continent is Finnish.

So, if these two kingdoms, united by a royal house best known for its inbreeding, had gay sex

[whoseontop]

Nixon and Reagan

Tricky Dick Nixon, the Watergate man, was the first US president elected via the primary system. He is best known for improving our relationship with China, being the last guy impeachment kind worked on, and starting the war on drugs to vilify hippies and black people

Infamous actor, Ronald Reagan, won in a landslide in 1984 (he never got Minnesota) and went on to depose democratic governments in Latin America, pass deregulation that would inadvertently lead to the 2008 housing crisis and bronies, and politely ask birthmark man to do some remodeling.

So, if these two decrepit racists had gay sex,

[whoseontop]

Astrology and Myers-Briggs

Astrology is the belief that the position of certain constellations in relation to the celestial bodies in our solar system at the moment of your birth determine your personality. They are best known on this hellsite for being the inspiration for the trolls from Homestuck.

Myers-Briggs is a personality test put together by two journalists based, in part, on the unfounded musings of Carl Jung. I was into it in middle/high school after my astrology phase ended until Adam Ruins Everything did a ruin on it.

So, if Astrology and Myers-Briggs had gay sex,

[whoseontop]

Now that the poll is over, with Shelob as the lead, I'd like to give my two cents on the issue. I believe that, in theory, they take turns eating each other out, however Spiders Georg just has more energy thanks to his hearty protein fueled diet. Shelob works hard spinning webs, with rarely anything to show for it at the end of the day. Ergo, she only does it once in a blue moon, but she is far more adept than Georg. In summary, Spiders Georg does it more often, but Shelob does it better.

Spiders Georg and Shelob

Spiders Georg, of tumblr fame, is a man who lives in a cave and eats 10,000 spiders each day.

Source: @reallyreallyreallytrying

Shelob, of LotR fame, is a spider who lives in a cave and eats one man every 10,000 days.

Source: JRR Tolkien

So, if Spiders Georg and Shelob had gay sex,

[whoseontop]

Garlic and Onion

Garlic and Onion are both plants of the Allium genus that have been cultivated as seasoning and vegetable respectively for millenia. Many recipes begin with these two ingredients sauteeing together in an oil, creating a fragrant aroma and the base flavoring for a delicious dish.

So, if garlic and onion had gay sex,

[whoseontop]

Spiders Georg and Shelob

Spiders Georg, of tumblr fame, is a man who lives in a cave and eats 10,000 spiders each day.

Source: @reallyreallyreallytrying

Shelob, of LotR fame, is a spider who lives in a cave and eats one man every 10,000 days.

Source: JRR Tolkien

So, if Spiders Georg and Shelob had gay sex,

[whoseontop]

For the record, John Maynard Keynes is the right answer. I know Hayek makes a big fuss about welfare, but I think that's just him being a bratty sub. Deep down he really does want Keynes' big government and bigger dick

Keynes and Hayek

John Maynard Keynes and Friedrich Hayek are two of the most influential economists of the 20th century.

John Maynard Keynes argued that welfare and gentle growth in wages was economically sound policy while economic inequality would lead to bubbles and recessions.

Friedrich Hayek, a major figure in the Austrian school of economics, argued that laissez-faire capitalism was good policy and that over-reliance on welfare would be the "Road to Serfdom"

So, if the economy wasn't the only thing these two men are trying to stimulate,

[whoseontop]

Andrew Wakefield and Brian Deer

Andrew Wakefield is the disgraced former doctor who birthed the anti-vax movement by falsely linking the MMR vaccine to autism in order to profit off of a lawsuit against the British government and sale of his own single vaccines.

Brian Deer is the journalist who exposed Wakefield's fraud and clear conflicts of interest to the British public through his diligent reporting.

So, if Andrew Wakefield and Brian Deer had gay sex,

[whoseontop]

Seviper and Zangoose

Seviper and Zangoose are two third generation pokemon with a generations long blood feud etched into their very cells.

Seviper, the fang snake pokemon, fights with its venom laced balded tail.

Zangoose, the cat ferret pokemon, weaponizes its incredible agility.

You may picture these two as humans if it makes you more comfortable with the following question. Of course, that isn't necessary if you're a furry, or you're not a coward.

So, if a Seviper and a Zangoose had gay sex,

[whoseontop]

Timon and Pumbaa

Timon and Pumbaa are a classic twink x bear hippie couple and supportive dads to their adopted vegetarian lion prince child. I don't think there's much else I need to say about them.

So, if Timon and Pumbaa had gay sex,

[whoseontop]

Keynes and Hayek

John Maynard Keynes and Friedrich Hayek are two of the most influential economists of the 20th century.

John Maynard Keynes argued that welfare and gentle growth in wages was economically sound policy while economic inequality would lead to bubbles and recessions.

Friedrich Hayek, a major figure in the Austrian school of economics, argued that laissez-faire capitalism was good policy and that over-reliance on welfare would be the "Road to Serfdom"

So, if the economy wasn't the only thing these two men are trying to stimulate,

[whoseontop]

Plato and Diogenes

Plato is a major figure in Athenian philosophy, taught by Socrates and passing his teachings down to Aristotle. He believed virtue was innate and good comes from wisdom.

Diogenes helped found the philosophical school of cynicism, frequently interrupted Plato's lectures and butted heads with him. He believed that good does not exist in beliefs but in actions.

So, if Plato and Diogenes had gay sex,

[whoseontop]

I decided to start this blog because I thought it'd be funny, and I didn't see it anywhere else. It is based on this SNL sketch:

pretty much the same but without the gender limitation. The rules are simple. I put up a poll of two fictional characters or historical figures, and then ask you the question of, if these two people had gay sex, Whoooo's on top?

my askbox is open if you'd like to pitch your own who's on top, and I can put it on the blog.

FAQ:

This blog is young, I will add as the need arises

These two characters are a man and a woman, how is the sex gay?

Doylist: its the blog's gimmick

Watsonian: t4t and/or bi4bi and/or just vibes, dude