whxtiswriting

[whxtiswriting]

Black people do not have to be exceptional for their right to life!!!!

Repeat after me:

Black people do not have to be exceptional for their right to life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[whxtiswriting]

more stories about them; 

they used to talk about how they were magic/old vampires and the one with the toxic/radio active symbol on his neck once tried to get a rando to drink blood from me, but the random dude was like “uh fuck no?” and he left. A + in this story

They once got into a knife fight over a tee shirt and sun glasses but told people that it was some magic thing about the one with the bad hair cut and racist tattoos being possessed. 

they hid a gun under my bed. more than one, i think. 

this guy who is not pictured tried to like flirt with me through bragging about being in their ‘gang’ which they called the zodiacs 

there were A LOT of like rational people who just kind of overlooked what the fuck was happening??? like a guy who was training to become a heart doctor for babies; 

this is personal stuff

I’m intending on writing a book about some stuff i went through but i havent done it yet; 

Keep reading

[whxtiswriting]

this is personal stuff

I’m intending on writing a book about some stuff i went through but i havent done it yet; 

but something reminded me of the dudes who were apart of a really dark part of my life, in which they were abusive/manipulative. they werent like physically abusive just like SA/Manipulation/and stuff like that. 

But every now and then i have been known to look them up. 

and these are the last photos i have of both of them and like please look at these horrible men;; 

these portraits make me laugh; when i knew them, they didnt have tattoos. look at their dumb faces. 

[whxtiswriting]

[whxtiswriting]

Just for you ||

Dean was working late one night when a popup chat came through from a name he didnt immediately recognize. 

He clicked on it and realized that the message was from the mailboys account. There was a link inside. 

The link led to a live feed of a dark room where a blindfolded man was kneeling with his hands tied over and behind his head. He was shirtless and shaking. 

Dean looked around curiously, was this a prank?After a minute of this blind folded man being practically frozen on the spot, another man walked on screen. His face was obscured.

He moved the kneeling man. He pulled him to his feet and had him bend over a chair. 

Then, he showed an item to the camera. 

He started with a paddle with heart holes in it. 

The spank was not gentle. 

The blindfolded man screamed-silent on deans screen. His audio was off.

Dean fumbled around for headphones, and plugged them into his computer. 

"--thank you." The man was steely and holding together well, for someone whos ass was forming heart shaped welts. 

It was the mail cart boy. The voice was familiar and yet different- and it sent vibrations down deans spine. This was hot. It was a secretive and sexy thing. Dean had to look around the office again- what was this? 

No one was there. Everyone had already gone home. 

He returned his attention to the screen. 

The man in the mask hit castiel with the paddle again- and this time, castiel cried out in agonizing pain- slightly different from the cries that had been playing while deans attention had drifted. 

"Pl-please, stop!" Castiel begged. "Please-" 

"You want a different toy?" The obscurred man asked, "I can oblige. Show the camera your well loved ass, boy." 

Castiels body tensed but he let himself be pulled so that his well abused ass was facing the camera better. There were lovely hearts all over, but the skin was bruising around them. A hand ran over the skin while the man mused about what hed use next. 

"The leather whip, perhaps?" He said, begining to lube up a plug. "Or the hairbrush?" 

Castiel was catching his breath, sniffling. He must have asked something, but the audio didnt pick it up, or was edited out.

"You know what you have to do for that" 

"Please-please fuck me- I want it so badly-" castiel chirped, wiggling slightly. "Please-" 

"Not yet." The man replied, shoving the plug into him.

"Ah-" castiel whimpered. 

"I think the cane shall do." The man answered.

They shifted again and now there was a better view for the whipping. The can made a swoosh everytime it came down. Castiel was gagged now-but even still he could be heard crying. 

Dean was apalled and intrigued at the same time. This couldnt be the same person- could it? The meek and mild man who always brought his lunch with a smile? Did he get the impression dean was into this? Was dean into this? It was intense. 

Then, the two on screen were fucking. It was borderline brutal punishment fucking- but castiel seemed so into it. He rode the punishing man so enthusiastically- he said many things that made hair stand up on deans neck- it was passionate and angry all the same. It was hard to believe the kid was into this stuff. 

Then the man shoved castiel into the bed, roughly taking him from behind and shoving his blindfolded face into the camera as he took him. 

Dean could almost feel every noise castiel made- so intimate and intense. And the blindfold was ripped off- leaving no doubt that this was the same man from the office.

"Say it- say how much you like this-" 

"I love it! I'm your whore! Please give it to me-!" Castiel begged. The man came, hard. 

Castiel was then moved to a different position again and made to jerk off, while he sat on his thoroughly abused ass.  

When he finished, the camera was turned off.

Dean was left sitting there, in the dimly lit office wondering what the fuck he had just watched. Why hadnt he exited it? Should he report it? Was that harassment? 

He couldnt get the image of the mail boys face out of his head- the hearts on his ass- the knowledge that hed been squirming all day at the office tomorrow made dean feel conflicted, and almost excited. 

He just stared at the computer screen a moment before sending the link to his personal email and saving it. 

He gathered his things and went home-feeling conflicted and giddy. 

After the camera shut off, castiel slowly got to his feet- and began to clean himself up. He felt dirty and scared. 

It was conflicting and tense as he tried not to think about what hed just done. He hurried over to his boyfriend and knelt down- "m-may I clean you up?" He asked, it all felt canned. Fake. 

The man clicked record on his phone. "Go ahead, little bird." He ran a hand through castiels hair as cas orally cleaned his boyfriend off. 

Castiel knew better than to argue or protest the camera. He'd just anger his boyfriend- and the video theyd just done had just calmed him down. The recording clicked off again. 

His face was squeezed tightly by a  rough hand, "thats enough, little bird. I dont want to do another session. I have to upload this video, and send it to your collegues." 

Castiel paled. "What?" 

"You didnt think the video itself was retribution for flirting with the waiter, did you?" He asked, turning away from castiel and back to the computer. 

"I-i-" cas protested, tearing up again. 

"Oh baby bird- you did? You poor naive little thing." His boyfriend laughed. "You publicly humiliated me. I'm going to do the same to you." 

"You cant!" Cas protested, before paling- "i-i mean- please dont, please-" 

It was too late. Hed already fucked up. He was hit- hard. He tumbled from his knees to the floor. 

"You know that I can do anything I want with you. Everyone who sees this knows the truth. Youre a little whore. You like what I do to you- and you beg me for it. I give you what you want. I own you, you little bitch. I saved you from a life of turmoil and I own you." His boyfriend hissed, towering over him. 

Castiel was crying in earnest now, unable to stop it. "Please- I'm sorry-" 

"Youre just a weak little bitch. Say it." 

"I-im a weak little bitch- I'm yours- you own me- you saved me- I'm yours- please I didn't mean it-" cas begged. "You know I love you- please dont send the videos to my work- I-im sorry-" castiel begged. 

"I will be sending this to whomever I please to, cas. Its my pleasure to do so. You get no say in this. You never have." His boyfriend laughed.  "Now, Go clean up, castiel. And then make dinner. I want wine. And chicken." He dismissed him, excited to pick who would see the video and who wouldnt. 

Castiel couldn't win this fight. He was defeated and sore. He scrambled to obey his boyfriends orders. He cleaned up the filming room, still stark naked. Then, he went upstairs to cook dinner for his boyfriend. 

He was resigned- his coworkers would know-he wouldnt know which coworkers would know- it was torture.

The next day was horribly tense- castiel wanted to call in or quit- but he wasnt allowed to. It was his only escape, anyway. If he quit- hed never be allowed away from his boyfriend. Hed fought so hard to get this stupid job anyway- he was a mail cart boy and he sometimes ran the sandwich cart. It wasnt a luxurious job- but it was his. 

He was expecting someone to say something to him- waited all day- but no one mentioned anything out of the ordinary. Maybe Al was just fucking with him. 

Dean waited all day to see if he could detect any of the aftermath from the video hed been sent- was the boy walking weird? Acting weird? What would he say if someone noticed? Did he knowingly send that video to dean? 

When he was dropping the mail off- he didnt make any notice of it. He didnt mention it- but dean could tell that under his work clothes was a sore bruising ass. 

It made dean unusually excited. 

And at lunch time, when castiel asked if dean wanted a ham sandwich or a tuna one- dean could tell his voice was hoarse. 

Dean was ashamed that he was hoping for an additional video- that he couldn't stop thinking about this twink getting rammed- or the lovely little hearts. 

Castiel relaxed at the end of the day. No one had said or acted any different towards him- Al must have been fucking with him. 

That night, dean stayed in the office late- secretly hoping for a new video. But nothing came. 

By the end of the week, he had waved it off as an anomaly. Even if he kept watching the first one over and over- he excused it as a slip up. 

Until Friday night came around. He was working late- just finishing up some of his work for his clients when a new link popped up. 

He dropped what he was doing, plugged his headphones in and clicked on the link. 

This video opened on a closeup of castiels face- he was choking on a fat dick. His face was red and slightly bruising- and he had tears streaming down his face as he was held- deepthroating a dick. 

"I had a plan for today, little bird." A familiar voice said. "I was going to take you to a watering hole and set you up as a gloryhole- but then I got a better idea. Bring over my best friend- and watch him fuck you for being a cheating whore." 

Castiel couldnt respond.

He wouldnt have even if he could. They were recording and if he let his displeasure at the lies slip through- hed be lucky to escape with anything less than a broken bone. 

The cock inside his mouth was moving visciously now- rough and with ferver- castiel tried to remain calm- pretend to be excited. Like he wasnt being punished for an imaginary slip. 

The word cheating brought something to life in dean. He hadn't been able to get this image out of his head- but now the idea of one day being with this man was inside his mind. 

He had to remind himself that he was a straight man with a girlfriend and that he was going to be the next major leader at this firm if he didnt fuck it up. 

The camera moved to focus on the man who was now spitroasting castiel- hands tied behind his back- suspended on a bench of some sort. 

This was kinky stuff- but it lit a fire inside dean. 

The meek little man who appeared so normal was really into this stuff? This porn making? 

It just got kinkier and kinkier as the video went on- castiel was eventually stuffed by both men, at the same time. He was whimpering and it was so hot. 

When the video cut off- dean was frustratedly confused- 

And castiel broke down sobbing. He was left on the bed with no comfort after the traumatic filming that had just happened. 

Until after Als friend left, when he finally came back to bed and scooped castiel into his arms. "You did good, little bird." He praised. "That'll be our most watched one yet." 

Castiel was brokenly sobbing. Al pushed him to a limit, let him break- and was putting the pieces back together exactly how he wanted castiel to be. "I'm sorry-im sorry-" 

"I know little bird, I know." Al praised, stroking castiels hair. 

Any dissent within castiel faded- Al was being loving and kind and castiel couldn't think straight. 

The videos kept coming, over the next few weeks- and dean grew more and more obsessed. He looked at every video- he found every other video that existed. 

All the way back to the first video castiel had ever been in- 

It was mild, but somehow the sexiest of them all. 

"Are you sure?" Castiel had asked, wearing nothing but an oversized teeshirt. 

"The camera loves you, babybird. And so do I. I won't show this to anyone." The man from most of the videos promised. 

Castiel gave him a blow job and they fucked twice- with all of this praise and reassurance given to this insecure castiel. It seemed so different from the other videos- and it was easily deans favorite. 

While all of the videos seemed raw and real- this one was the first. The most real. 

He felt guilty watching it- jacking it to it- but he couldnt help himself. 

It was a secret obsession- until one day at the office. 

"Thanks, little bird." 

Castiel had just delivered coffee, a sandwich, and the mail- 

And the words slipped out. 

They both froze. 

Castiels heart stopped and he almost started crying. The boss of most of the office just called him little bird. 

He couldn't find his voice. He had thought Al had been lying. Bluffing. He should have known better. 

Dean was mortified. He didnt mean for that to slip out- he didnt want anyone to know about his obsession- about how he sometimes fantasized about fucking cas- about being there- he couldnt. 

"I mean- did you see that bird?" He fumbled- trying to cover up what had just happened. 

Castiel wanted to believe him- but he knew the truth. 

"You cant tell anyone!" They both blurted out. 

"What?" They both asked, confused. 

"I-i dont want anyone to know -" castiel explained weakly. 

"I wouldn't tell anyone- I dont- im- I have a girlfriend." Dean reassured him. 

Castiel nodded shakily. He still felt like hed been thrown into a pool of ice water. 

"Can we pretend this never happened?" Castiel finally asked. 

"Of course." Dean agreed, overly eager.

Castiel clocked out early and raced home- angry and ashamed. "You really did it?" He demanded from al. 

"Did what?" Al asked, amused by castiels anger. 

"You sent the video to my boss?" Castiel asked, angry and ashamed. 

"Oh, not just one. All of them, little bird. I told you I did. What happened?" Al asked, scooping the angry castiel into his arms, and gropping his ass. 

"He-he called me little bird-" cas snapped, angry and scared. 

Al laughed. "About time. Cmon, I have been planning something for this-" 

"Please- please just stop this- I cant- I cant keep doing this!" Castiel snapped, pushing away from his boyfriend. 

Al hit him, and hit him again. "You have to stop saying no to me! I give you everything!" 

Castiel was beat into complying. 

A private video popped up for dean that night. 

Castiel was wearing an office shirt and his work name tag- a blind fold, and nothing else. 

"This is for you, dean." Al said, before brutally fucking castiel- castiel did everything he was told to- putting on a private show for dean. 

He didnt go into work the next day. It was fucked up and weird and he couldnt go back- he couldnt explain what he was doing in those videos without making al mad at him- and he was scared and trapped. He saw no way out of this cycle.

Castiel went back to work a few days later- and just made a point to avoid dean. Pretend it never happened.

Even if he had to keep making videos for dean, for other people. It wasnt really happening.  He kept pretending. 

And it was working until deans obsession drove him to cornering castiel in the office after most people had gone home. 

"Why are you doing this to me?" He demanded to know. "You are ruining my life- youre all I can think about- I have a girlfriend I love and a job I love and all I can think about is your bruised ass- or how youre wearing long sleeves to cover handcuff marks-" 

Castiel was quiet- defensively used to being cornered. Unsure what to expect from dean. 

"Why are you doing this to me?" Dean asked again, dropping his arms and stepping back from castiel. 

Cas couldnt speak- he didnt have anything to say that dean would want to hear.  

He didnt say anything- he just fled the office and the confrontation. 

He had to pretend nothing happened. 

Al always knew- he knew everything that was happening- how to get under their skin. 

He made entire videos just for dean- and eventually invited dean over to the house. He did it through a video of castiel setting up for a dinner party where he was fucked by several members as the main course. 

Private party, just for you. The address followed. 

Dean debated for days on whether hed go.

Castiel walked into deans office and closed the door behind him. "You cant come to the house." He said, his eye was black and he was wearing a turtleneck under his work clothes. 

"I don't know what youre talking about." Dean said, looking up from his paper work. 

"If he gets his hands on you-" castiel said shakily. "You'll never escape. You will never get away from him." Cas warned.  "Please don't do this to yourself." 

And then, dean saw it. It hit like a truck- and he felt dirtier and sicker than hed ever felt. 

And he didnt even get a chance to say anything. Castiel was outside the door before he could say anything.

Dean cornered castiel later, in the kitchen. "You have to tell me what is going on. The videos- are you- is he-" 

"Don't ask what you dont want to know." Castiel said curtly, restocking the coffee. 

"I need to know." Dean said. "I need the truth." 

"If I wanted to leave- I would have." Castiel said quietly- it was a line hed been fed by Al a lot.

"So- you stay because you want to?" Dean asked, not at all believing him. 

"You have a girlfriend and a nice job." Cas said, changing the subject, slightly. "Dont- dont show up to this stupid thing so that he can record and trap you too." 

Castiel tensed, falling quiet when a lady came into the kitchen. 

"Is the coffee ready?" She asked. 

"Yes, I was just about to head back out. Would you like your usual?" He asked quietly. 

"Yes, please." She answered. 

It was very tense as he made her coffee, which she took and left. 

Dean sipped an imaginary coffee- his cup was empty. 

Castiel reached for it, and the sleeve to his sweater moved to reveal the handcuff bruises. 

Conflicted emotions swirled through dean. His hands shook. Somewhere in his mind, he thought about taking castiel right there- against the coffee cart for all to see. 

"You have a girlfriend." Castiel reminded quietly, watching the coffee fill the mug.

"I could leave her-" dean said quietly, watching castiels hands. 

"You should propose, to her." Cas replied, pushing the cup back into deans hands. "Youd make partner and be happy." 

"I could be happy with you-" he argued.

"Its- its not real, Dean." Castiel explained softly. "None of the stuff is real- I'm not- its not-" he argued, realizing just how far this whole thing had gone, for dean. 

"Castiel-" dean said softly.

"Dean!" A lady exclaimed happily, walking over. Her heels clicked on the floor. She kissed deans cheek, and took his free hand. "I was hoping to surprise you-" 

Castiel looked down at the cart- "I should get back." He excused himself, not sticking around to watch dean and his girlfriend talk. 

That evening, castiel stayed until everyone else had gone home except for dean. He was always working late. 

He steeled himself and walked into deans office, blurting out the thing that had been torturing him "I quit-"

 Dean looked up from his desk. “What?” he asked quietly. “What do you mean?” “I-I mean, I quit.” Castiel said quietly. “I can’t keep doing this to you- I can’t keep doing this.” He said quietly. “You can’t just leave.” Dean argued, standing up from his desk. “I-I’m pretty sure he’ll still send you the videos, if thats what youre worried about.” Castiel replied, stiffly. 

 Dean was flustered, and confused. “I don’t understand.” “You said it yourself, Dean.” Castiel said quietly. “I’m ruining your life.” “I didnt want to force you to quit.” Dean argued. “You have a girlfriend and you were going to come to Alistairs stupid little party-” Castiel snapped. “Just to get a chance-” “Castiel.” Dean said softly. “I cant be the reason your life falls apart.” Cas said quietly. “I’m a lawyer, Cas. I can help you.” “Im in countless videos telling the world how much I want Al to hurt me. I don’t need help, I just need to not fuck up your life too.” Cas said quietly. “There isnt anything I can help you with?” Dean asked. “I don’t believe that.” “I don’t think you can fix this.” castiel said quietly, “I really have to leave. I’ll see you around.” Castiel slipped out of the office and rushed away. Alistair would be mad if he was any later. He closed the door quietly after he walked into his home. “Ally?” He asked quietly, “I’m home.” “You’re late. Is everything alright?” Alistair asked, from the couch. “I-I um- I quit my job today.” Castiel said quietly, heading to the kitchen. “Have you eaten? I was gonna make pasta-” “You did what?” Alistair asked, turning the TV off and getting up. “I was going to make pasta?” castiel asked, quietly. “You quit your job?” Al asked, stalking into the kitchen. Castiel tried to play it cool. “I was thinking parmesan and sausage pasta-” Alistair grabbed castiels neck, as hard as he could. “You quit your job?” “I-I-” Castiel teared up. “Did i give you that permission? To ruin what I wanted?” Alistair asked, squeezing castiels neck harshly. “I-i-” Castiel hadnt really thought it all out. He didnt know what he would say to al. “Alistair-” castiel asked quietly. “I’m sorry- I couldnt keep doing this- I-I missed you when I was working.” He lied, quickly. “I just- I wanted to spend days at home- with you.” He lied. “You’re a pathetic liar, cassie.” Alistair hissed, before shoving castiel to his knees. “Beg for my forgiveness.” Castiel trembled and kissed Als socks- his ankles, his legs- his crotch. “Forgive me, baby. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry, please- I’ll make it up to you.” Alistair pulled his phone out, and began texting. “Keep going.” He instructed. “Im so sorry, Ally.” Cas begged, pleading, kissing Alistairs belt. “Please forgive me.” “Get my keys.” Al instructed. “I have a new idea for a video. I’ve contacted all of my friends. Get your badge, too.” Castiel hurried to obeyed, getting Alistairs keys, and grabbing his badge for work. “Why do I need my badge, Al?” He asked quietly. “It’s a surprise.” Al said back, Grabbing his coat and his camera bag. Castiel took a deep breath and followed Al to the car. The drive was quiet-and familiar. They were going to his work. This wasnt going to be good. “Al- Please-” Castiel begged, as they parked. “Please, I cant-” “Shut up, cas.” Alistair snapped. “You will do what I tell you to. Now get out of the car.” Castiel climbed out of the car and let Alistair drag him to his work, where he used castiels badge to get into the building. The next video came up on deans computer that monday. It opened on castiel being held down on deans desk. “Al- Stop this-” Castiel begged, looking up at the camera. “Please-” This video was unedited. It showed castiel being hit for resisting. “Shut up, little bird.” “Please- please don’t do this- we can stop this- we can go home and- and not do this-” Castiel begged, looking up at the camera. “Please, I love you- please-” Alistairs laugh was cold and the camera shook while it sounded. “You need this, baby.” His hand traced castiels cheek. “You need this.” Castiel stilled, and he closed his eyes. Another man grabbed castiels legs and tore his jeans off. It made castiel squirm- “please- don’t-” he cried shakily. “Please-” “You’ve been all sorts of naughty, little bird.” Al sighed. “You can’t even try to be a good boy.” 

Castiel stilled at that and looked up at al. "I-im sorry, al. I can be a good boy-" 

"Tell him to take you." Al instructed. " tell him you love it rough." 

"Fuck me- i-i like it rough-" cas said softly, "I love it rough." 

The man took castiel hard- and then another fucked castiel in a different position on deans office desk. 

Then they moved to a different location in the office- 

Several of alistairs friends, and even al, took castiel wherever they wanted in the office. 

At the end of the video, alistair smirked at the camera and dropped something in deans desk drawer. "For you, kid. Its been fun." 

"Tell him baby-" the camera panned back to a bruising and battered cas. 

"It-its been fun." He lied. "You can think of me while you work-" he said quietly.

Then, al kissed castiel and the camera clicked off. 

Dean reached into his drawer to find castiels badge, and several naked photos of castiel- taken over the office and in als home. 

He felt sick.

[whxtiswriting]

Into the Fire ||

Castiel was the only son of a rich man, who’s wife had died when castiel was really young. Because of her death, Castiel was raised by his over-protective father, and a kind and caring nanny.

Castiel was shuffling against the chair he was sitting on. “Do we have to interview another Assistant?” Castiel asked, worriedly. “Well you scared your last one out of here without a two weeks notice, Cas, and you cant go without one, so I figure yes. The next interviewee, is Dean Winchester. Benny recommended him.” “I dont want an assistant.” Castiel complained, “I’m an adult, Dad.” He argued.

“Shut up, Castiel. Sit still, and behave. I don’t want you scaring this assistant off.” His father warned. “Yes, sir.” Cas agreed quietly.

A servant led a tall handsome man into the living room, “Sirs, This is Mr. Winchester.” “Thank you.” Michael dismissed them. “Please, have a seat.” He motioned to the couch across from himself and castiel. “It’s nice to meet you.” Dean said, taking a seat. “This position is for a live-in assistant for my son, Castiel.” Michael said, motioning to cas. Cas chewed his lip, looking down at his hands. “As a live-in position, you would be given two hours a day, to take care of your own personal responsibilities, and one day off a week.” Michael explained, looking at him. “Okay.” Dean agreed quietly. “What is the schedule like? Do I set it?” “The scheduling is based around what you and castiel will discuss. You can discuss any scheduling needs with him once you get the job.” “Okay.” dean agreed softly. “Why did the last assistant leave?” Michael looked at castiel. Cas swallowed nervously. “Um- We had a disagreement.” Cas said quietly. “So he left.” “I see.” Dean said quietly. “So when would I start?” “As soon as possible. Your background check already came in, and I’m willing to push the paperwork in today.” Michael responded. “That sounds wonderful.” Dean agreed, looking over at Michael, and then Cas. “I’m honored for the opportunity.” “Wonderful.” Michael said. “We’ll have our car take you to get your stuff.” Michael replied, getting up and shaking deans hand. Castiel waited until dean left to look at his father. “So-Was it really necessary for me to be here? You’d already decided to hire him.” he accused. “I had.” Michael agreed, looking over at castiel. “You needed to meet him.” “I could have met him after you hired him.” Castiel sassed. Michael grabbed him by his shirt. “Don’t you sass me.” He hissed. Castiel paled. “Yes sir.”

“Go and work in your room, I’ll have your new assistant up there once he’s settled in.” Michael instructed. “Yes sir.” Cas agreed, walking off. He walked over to the kitchen on his way to his room, stopping to see benny. “Hey, Ben?” Castiel asked, quietly. “Yeah?” He answered, looking up from the vegetables he was chopping. “Your friend, Dean-” Cas said, leadingly, as he slipped up onto the counter and looked down at his feet, “Is he nice? Dad just hired him to be my assistant.” “He’s a good guy, Cas. he’ll be nice to you.” Benny said. “Now, get your ass off my counter. Aren’t you supposed to be doing something else?” “Dad wants me to go to my room.” Cas complained. “I just- Is he really nice?” He asked. “Like he’s not going to get mad I’m gay and then storm out and make my dad mad at me?” he asked quietly. “Kyle was an asshole.” Benny replied. “Go- your dads got a temper when you dont listen.” “Okay. Later, Ben.” Castiel sighed, slipping from the counter and trudging up to his bedroom. He plopped on his bed and stared up at his ceiling. It was painted like a night sky, and he imagined he was floating in outer space. He and his old assistant had kissed on this bed- under the false stars. Castiel had refused to sleep with him- Kyle got mad, and left- quitting. Castiel sighed, looking up at the ceiling, and thinking about space. A while later, There was a knock on the door. “Castiel?” Dean asked. “You can come in.” Castiel sighed, sitting up and crossing his legs on his bed. “I’m sorry to bother you. I’m not really sure what the real requirements of this job are- but there are some guys moving my stuff into a room down the hall.” Dean shrugged. “Dad just likes there to be someone around for me.” Cas replied quietly. “You just keep me company, or whatever. Kyle didnt do much.” Cas shrugged, “You can-You can do whatever you want, I guess. Dad gives tasks, like ‘make sure im studying’ and stuff but other than that, its nothing.” “What do you do all day?” Dean asked quietly, sitting down on a chair across the room from castiel. “I do workbooks, read, and occassionally go out to the garden.” Cas replied. “And I bother Benny, a lot. Oh, and I made out with my last assitant once or twice. And if you ask the maids, I drink in the bathroom, and I cause general mayhem.” “Wow, thats a lot. How do you have time for it all?” Dean asked. “I forgot to say that I smoke in the bathrooms as well.” Cas laughed, looking over at dean. “I’m a caged animal.” He explained, shifting. “I want stimulation. I make time for it.” He shimmied some. “You wanna drink with me?” He asked, smiling. “I probably shouldn't, I just started this job, after all.” Dean said, getting up. “Fine. Go settle in, I’ll see you around.” Cas replied, getting up and grabbing his smokes from a hideaway book on his desk. “I’m gonna go smoke in the bathroom. And- If my dad asks you to spy on me? Give me a heads up- please.” Cas asked, before slinking into the bathroom and lighting up. He sat on the sink and smoked, breathing out the window and closing his eyes. His dad hating when he smoked- his dad hated everything he did, really. After he put his cigarette out, he slipped off the sink, washed his hands, brushed his teeth, and walked down to the kitchen. He wanted to steal a wine from the wine cellar and get drunk. He slipped past the kitchen staff and into the cellar, grabbing a bottle from the rack. He took it back up to his study, sat on the floor, and began drinking it straight from the bottle. He was being extra reckless-he knew his father was always looking for reasons to punish him.

A while later, Dean came into the study. “Hey, Cas.” He said, sitting down with him. “Benny said to tell you that your dad was digging around in the wine cellar.” Castiel took a deep breath, then a deep long drink of the alcohol he’d stolen, and he looked at dean. “You ever been baptised by fire?” He asked dean. “What do you mean?” Dean asked. “Youre about to be, as they say ‘into the fire.’” Castiel said. “Cheers!” He laughed, standing up. “It’s about to get really loud in here-” he looked down. “You might want to take your two hours of freedom now.” Cas suggested, a little jumpy. Dean followed him to his feet. “Are you sure?” “Castiel Michael Novak!” Michael called, his footsteps were loud as they approached. Castiel shuffled nervously. “Theres a side door-it goes to my room. Take it and leave.” He instructed dean.

Dean hesitated- just long enough for Michael to storm into the study and grab castiel by his throat.  

“You lying little shit- Thieving little whore-” Michael hissed, shoving castiel into a bookshelf. Dean tensed, his hands were shaking. He slipped out of the room-and out of the bedroom, and he crashed into benny in the hallway. “Hey, woah, whats going on? Where’s the fire?” Benny asked, steadying them. Dean was having a panic attack, he couldnt calm down. His eyes were wide, and he was shaking. Benny had seen it before- dean had ptsd issues, and he was used to it. Benny led him to the kitchen and gave him some ice-which he held to deans face and he used it to completely reset his body. “What happened?” Dean was calm again, but he held the ice in his hands. “Did you know that Michael is abusive?” He asked, looking up at benny. “When you recommended me for this job, did you know?” Benny paled. “Yeah.” “He’s up there right now-” Dean said shakily. “My dads a doctor, Should I call him?” “Bobby? Only if it gets bad. I forgot that- I didnt think about what seeing that would do to you.” Benny said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“It-its fine. I gotta go check on sam. Call me to let me know if I need to bring bobby back with me” Dean instructed-before walking out of the house.

He was trembling when he walked into his house. He went to his brothers room, and sat down. Just to listen to the monitors beep.

Sam was unconscious. His condition waxed and waned for bad and worse. Dean liked to come in here and listen to his brothers heart beat. It calmed him.

He took sams hand and just held it. Sam wasnt awake very long each day- he had good days now and then, but most of the time he just laid there unconscious.

He had a strong heart- though. Dean curled up on the couch next to Sam's bed and held his hand.

Bobby came in a while later. "Dean? I didnt expect to see you home so soon."

"I think I have to quit." Dean said quietly.

"You just started." Bobby said, in disbelief. "Is the guy that bad?"

"Hes about Sam's age, a little older. Its not him thats the problem- though he has his challenges-" dean mused. "Its his dad. He-hes abusive- though I'm not supposed to talk about it. I signed an NDA."

"I'm sorry." Bobby said, sitting down next to deans feet. "Who is it youre working for again?"

"The novaks." Dean said, looking at Sam. "I didnt want to be away from Sam anyway and now-"

"You dont have to keep the job- but ive met that Novak kid. Hes a good kid." Bobby said. "And he sounds like he needs a friend."

Dean sighed. "I dont know what to do about this."

"You'll figure it out." Bobby reassured him.

[whxtiswriting]

A real Angel ||

Sam and dean are hunters and problem solvers. They go where they are needed and they dont stay very long after a case is solved. 

They were packing up a hotel room when a woman frantically tapped on the door. 

She was frail, thin, and her plaid over coat dress was falling off of her shoulders. 

"Whats she want?" Dean asked, not too interested. "I paid for the room." 

Sam rolled his eyes and opened the door. "How may I help you, maam?" 

"You boys solve problems? Dont you?" She asked. 

"We dont have time to find a cat or open jars-" dean snarked. 

"I'm not really sure how we can help you." Sam said nicer than dean would have. 

"Its my daughter-" she said frantically. "Shes joined a cult-!" 

"We don't normally do cult things." Dean replied. 

Sam frowned and ushered her inside. "Why dont you have a seat and we can see if this is the kind of thing we can help with." 

Dean rolled his eyes as he was attempting to close his suitcase. "It wont be-" 

The lady walked in, clutching her handbag and dug around inside of it. "They say they have an angel-" 

Sam frowned, "would you like some tea?" 

"I would like for you to bring ny daughter home!" The lady snapped, pulling out a thin, long, red envelope. "She sent me proof!" 

The lady shoved the envelope into sams hands. 

Sam opened it and his heart kind of stopped for a moment. 

There was a long black feather inside. The tip where it came from the wing was coated with dry blood, the edges shimmered with light, and it brought an energy to Sam that he had never felt before. 

Dean looked over and frowned. "A feather? That could come from anything." 

"But it didn't! It came from my daughter! You need to save her from this stupid cult!" The lady snapped, "I can pay you! I have money!" 

Sam handed the envelope to dean, and looked back to the lady. "What do they call themselves, this cult?"

"The children of heavenly light." The woman scoweled, pulling out a pamphlet. "My daughter was a college student, she was successful- they targetted her and many others- I havent seen or heard from her in many months. Please- please help her." 

"We will do what we can and be in touch." Sam agreed, handing her his card. 

After she left, Sam turned to dean. "Did you have to be so- rude? This could be easy money." 

"Or it could all be a stupid ruse." Dean said, still stroking the feather. 

"The cult seems to be located in the mountains up north; I'm gonna call Bobby and see if hes ever heard of them and see if theres anything unnatural to this claim-" Sam replied, stepping outside. 

Dean sighed, tucking the feather back into the envelope and grabbing the bags. Either way, they werent staying in this motel anymore.

After returning the keys, dean joined Sam at the car. 

Sam was using his laptop and was leaning on the hood of the car. 

"Get your ass off babys hood!" Dean snapped, throwing their bags in the back.

Sam rolled his eyes and got into the car. "So this cult is located in the Washington mountains. They moved up there to be closer to the heavens. They are located near an Observatory for mount Olympus." 

Dean got in and started the car. "So theyve holed themselves up in the snowy freaking mountains to be closer to the heavens? Not very clear on which heavens they care about, are they." He complained. 

"Bobby says that they might very well have an angel- but hes never met one thats kept people hostage." 

"So probably not our bad guy then- if they really have one." Dean agreed, as they started their long drive. "How do we join this cult?" 

"They target school fairs and career days- so we just gotta go to the local college." Sam figured.

They drove almost straight through, and when they got to the town, they looked for a motel to stay in. 

The snow was a lovely sight, in theory, but it reminded dean he needed to find his jacket. 

"I'll check us in." Sam said, getting out of the car in the motel parking lot. 

"I'll find us somewhere to eat and find information on this cult." Dean agreed. 

A while later, they were in a pub, drinking, eating, and doing research. 

They found there were many lost people signs up around the town. It was a place where people disappeared. 

There were a few people in the pub who were drunk and angry about the cult- but they didnt find too much out about it. 

There were many people who said the religious group was a group of nice people who never bothered anyone and only came to town for supplies. 

They weren't getting anywhere, so they returned to the motel and dean laid down for the night. 

Sam stayed up doing a little more research before he also went to sleep.

The next day, they went to tour the local college, peruse for information- and maybe get laid, dean joked. 

They split up- Sam went on a tour and dean looked at all of the places flyers were posted. 

Luckily, dean found a flyer for an open event that week. 

"Its all BS." A cute blonde said, rushing by. 

"What is?" Dean asked, following her. 

"That group- its all a bunch of talk, no show." She laughed, stopping in front of him. "They talk game but ive never seen an angel." 

"I'm only in town for a few days, thought it might be fun to see some really good stage craft." Dean joked. 

"They might help with that. Their residence is super decked out." She agreed. 

"Youve been?" Dean asked. 

"My friend is a member- made me tour it-" she agreed. "But I didnt see what all the fuss was about." 

"Maybe ill check it out then." Dean agreed. 

She laughed again and left. 

Sam came over. "This school is amazing!" 

"Did you find anything?" Dean asked. 

"They have the largest library ive ever seen!" 

"I mean about the case, Sam." Dean chasticed. 

"Oh, right. I learned that theyve had a few students go off and join- and that the leader was a professor here."

"Well, I learned there is a party open to the public this weekend." Dean replied, "so we will be learning if theres an actual angel around here soon." 

Over the next few days, they did research into the families whos kids had joined, the cult leader, and more. 

The night of the party came, and they headed up to the mountain side compound. 

A lot of people came to see what the fuss was about. 

The compound was more like a palace, beautifully decorated in modern art and statues depicting heavenly stories, there was even a chandelier in the entryway. There were twinkle lights everywhere. 

Inside the main room, was a sight no one was prepared for. 

Under a large round light, depicting a halo, was an almost naked college aged man, who was bound in red leather. 

He was kneeling, hands bound behind his back, but most importantly, there were leather straps wrapped around the base of his wings, keeping them extended and him slightly lifted from the ground. 

They were beautiful, even in their tattered state. 

The 'halo' light was the only light in the room, aside from a movie screen that was playing propaganda videos on it. 

The angel was poised, trapped in a circle that was painted on The floor. Its back was scarred- and its head was down. It was almost statuesque.

"That cant be real-" someone said nearby. "Its fake-" 

Dean studied the surroundings a little closer- the trap painted on the floor- the way the wings were pulling on the back of the man- the tools that looked out of the ordinary, the way the leather cut into the angels skin as if it wasnt just leather After all. 

"I-i dont think this is fake." Sam said quietly, as they moved to get refreshments. 

"I agree." Dean said stiffly. 

A young women came into the room carrying a bucket and a rag. She knelt by the angel and began the show. 

He jerked forward when the water from the bucket touched his skin. 

"Its okay." She said sweetly. "We bless you for your pain so that we may live." 

The angel stiffened, but didnt respond. He was biting his tongue. 

The woman washed him in the special water, preparing his body for the pain that would come. 

Some were begining to think this was performance art. They didnt see it clearly. 

The woman stopped, gathered her things, and walked away when the leader, the professor came into the room. 

"Good evening my friends! Please, take a seat, have a drink, and enjoy the show." 

"I have a feeling I will not be enjoying this." Dean said gruffly. 

"Just sit down and dont make a scene." Sam instructed.

The professor began his speech. "Tonight is a celebration of life: our heavenly gift is going to provide life for our ceremonies, and he will bring prosperity and love to those who reside and who are visiting for this event." 

"First, though, he must absorb our sins." The man announced, taking a whip from where it lay on an almost surgical tray. 

"I will start, and then my children will follow. And any guests here tonight with something to attone for may join us." He explained, before stepping up to the circle.

The angel tensed, but didnt make a sound. There were innocents in the room- he just had to focus on holding himself together.

The man threw the whip back, and then unleashed it on the angels back. Thr whip was designed to cause physical damage to ethereal beings- but not kill them. 

The angel jerked forward- against the restraints- but he kept from crying out. 

The man hit him twice more, before passing the whip to a young lady. 

There were twenty six members of the cult, who each swung the whip for at least one repentance. 

By the time the cult members were finished, the angel was crying. There was blood that seemed to shine and almost glow, running down its back. 

A few curious people from the crowd got up to try. 

"I think we have to do it to join-" Sam said. 

"Figure out a different way." Dean snapped. 

The professor grabbed a silver chalice, and a knife, using the chalice to catch some of the blood that trickled down before cutting the angels wrist, and catching the blood from there. 

"For our sins, we beg forgiveness. For our sins, we drink to cleanse ourselves." 

He took a drink, before passing the chalice to his members. 

"Those who wish to join us innour quest for purity and immortality, may drink from the chalice and join our ranks." 

Dean reluctantly got to his feet. 

"Should we both join?" Sam asked quickly. 

"I'll join, you don't have to." Dean said, wondering if there would be horrible side effects to joining. 

"I'm not just going to leave you here with these people-" Sam argued. 

"We need someone on the outside too-" dean reasoned. "Besides, my souls already damned." 

"Dean, this isnt funny." Sam argued. "You need me here." 

Dean sighed, "fine." 

They got in line. 

"I told bobby and Jo where we were, case something goes wrong." 

It was then deans turn to drink. The liquid was silvery red, and it felt like a warm honey as it filled his body. He stsrted to tingle- injuries hed had began to heal, he felt light, giddy almost. 

He almost couldnt remember why they were here.

4:53 PM

Sam drank and closed his eyes. The warmth from the liquid warmed his soul, from his fingers to his toes. It was easy to see why this was addicting. 

Afterwards, the professor decided on one of the new people being allowed to clean the angel up. 

Dean was handed the container of purified water, and a cloth. 

Dean knelt down and dunked the cloth in the water. Watching it bubble for a moment. Everything felt amazing. 

The angel was panting- it was clear he was in pain- but he attempted to move away from the rag. 

The professor walked over and pinned him to the floor with his boot. "You will be cleansed of our sins and we will once again be free." 

The angel pulled away as hard as he could- but he was trapped. 

Deans hands were gentle when he placed the soaked rag over the boys back. The bloodied water swirled as he cleansed him- the water stitching his wounds back together. They left only scars in their wake. 

The emotional scars were worse. 

He didnt even beg for his release anymore- he didnt even pray to his god- his father, his creator, anymore. They made him impure and purified him again- but he was still dirty, unclean. Unworthy. 

He was trying to make himself so dirty that he wasn't heavenly anymore- then theyd have no use for him. 

When dean was finished, he wrung the cloth out and moved to his face. He washed it of the sweat and tears. He looked him in his eyes. He remembered why he was there. 

"Thats enough." The professor said, helping dean to his feet. "Charlie will show you to your rooms, charlie!" 

A young lady hurried over- she looked just like the photo her mother gave them. "Yes my professor?" 

He kissed her, "show my lovely new students to their quarters." 

"What about the angel?" Dean asked.

"I will move him to a safe location." The professor answered. "You must go and sleep." 

Dean nodded softly. "Yes professor." 

Sam and dean were led to a room theyd share with another new comer and an existing student of the cult. 

The professor went back to the angel and began the process of untying him. He began with the wings- which were sore and aching. They dropped like lead when they were undied, semiwrapping around the boy. Then, he unbound his hands, kissing the skin beneath the bindings, and finally the ankles. He then wrapped the used leather around the boys neck like a leash and pulled him to the edge of the circle. "You try anything- and you will regret it." He hissed, before breaking the circle and pulling the angel away from the show room. 

He was compliant until they got near the mans bedroom- he jerked against the bindings and hit him with his wings-"let me go-!" 

The man overpowered the angel and held a blade to his throat-"I will end you, castiel!" 

The boy bucked, trying to get the blade to cut him- "You wouldnt-" 

The professor hit him, his ring cut castiels face. "You will obey me, I own you." 

Cas was dizzy and weak- being torn apart by ancient weaponry and put together by holy water was not a spa treatment. 

The man pulled him into his room and threw him to the dog bed next to the master bed. The room was huge and luxurious but castiel loathed it. 

There was a large trap painted under the rug- from the bathroom to the tv- not close enough to anything that would help him escape. 

Castiel dropped to the bed on the floor and curled up, closing his eyes. 

"Not so fast- I need to make sure they caught every wound." The professor instructed, pulling the angel to his feet. 

Castiels resistance flared inside him. "You won't find any wounds, let me rest." 

The man just laughed and pulled down the angels boxers. He ran a hand over every part of him- shoving them into his mouth, inspecting him for sores, he said. He traced over every part of him- and found nothing. 

It was all a cover- dirtying the angel for self gratification. 

He shoved his fingers inside of the angel- who cried out and turned his head to the heavens- and began jacking off. 

"St-stop this-" castiel begged, "stop-" 

"I gotta make sure you are safe." The man insisted- thinking about what a pleasure it would be to take the angel right there. 

It was over quickly, but not quick enough for cas. He slumped into the bed on the floor and cried- the professor collected his tears for his healing salves. 

He called in one of his many students and told them to ready a clean bath for the angel, but didnt elaborate as to why. 

They filled the bath with sacred water and then helped cas into the water. The angel barely moved. 

He was praying again- this time for death. He wanted this to be over. He didnt want saved or cleaned- he wanted death to come and take him away. 

The student made sure every part of him was submerged, at least once, by forcing castiel under the water. 

Castiel hoped hed die, but the boy let him back up- and he drizzled water onto the angels wings. They were missing feathers- and the water sometimes helped fix them.

When it was over, castiel was dried off by gentle, worshipping hands, dressed in pajamas, and then brought back to the dog bed. 

Castiel laid down, not wanting to be near the master, and closed his eyes. He briefly wondered if his father was allowing this. 

The man laid down on his bed and began reading a book. "You could always join me up here." The man offered. 

Castiel clenched his eyes shut and tried to will his human vessel to sleep.  It didnt work- hed been too thoroughly purified, but the professor fell asleep. 

Cas got up and began looking for flaws in the trap- for anyway out.

 There wasnt a way out. He went to the bookshelf and flicked through the books, before pulling out one of the professors books on ancient religions and going back to his bed. He sat down, flipping through the book, reading quietly. 

 There were notes in the margins about every subject- the professor had once been a very good scholar. He just fell off the path somewhere and became obsessed with angels. Castiel put the book away a while later and must have drifted off. When he woke up, the pattern on the floor had been reworked, stretched out in the hallway- making it so the angel could appear to move freely through the house. “Morning Cas.” The professor smiled. “I have made some accommodations for you to mingle with our new people.” “Why?” castiel asked, defensively. “I want them to see how amazing you are.” Professor said, kissing castiels face. “Professor-” Castiel argued. “You’ll do fine.” The man replied, setting some clothes out for castiel to wear. He forced castiel out of his clothes, and rather roughly pulled new clothes on him. “Professor-” He protested. “I-its false worship.” Cas argued, “You know this! You read the books, you were well studied-” The man pushed him onto the bed, biting his neck. “You are mine- I worship that I do, Not that you are from the heavens.” Castiel closed his eyes. Clenching them shut. The professor let him up, and laughed. “You will always be mine.” Then, he left. Castiel chewed his lip, getting up. He was confused and conflicted. He wiped his neck- and his face, before seeing just how far he could walk.

[whxtiswriting]

Possessed Cas ||

"Hello again, father." Castiel said, looking towards the blinding in the confessional. 

"It's late, cas. " the priest said. "How long has it been?" 

"Two years. The last confession I went to was the night my mom died." Cas said.

"Where have you been?" The priest asked. 

"Sinning." He answered, laughing softly before his voice cracked. "You cant tell anyone I'm back, you wont- right?" 

"Depends on What you did, kid-" 

"Ive just- been sleeping around- couch surfing- getting high- you know- all the sins." He said shakily. "Have you seen him? My dad? He used to come here everyday-"

"He dropped off after you left. He caused a big scene and cursed god about how his life was ruined." The priest said quietly. 

"Oh- that sounds like dad." Cas said, leaning his head against the confessional divider. 

"We dont have to stay in here, cas." 

"You cant see me like this." Cas argued. "I'm a sinner." 

"Cas- thats never mattered to me." 

"It matters to me." Cas argued.  Castiel insisted. Truthfully, he really didnt want dean to see him. He was bruised and thin and he had track marks all over his arms- it just wasnt who he wanted Dean to see him as. “You won’t tell anyone I’m back, will you?” “If you don’t want me to, I won’t.” Dean promised. “Why did you come back?” “Would you believe me, If i said, Homesick?” “No.” So cas didnt say anything. They didnt say anything for a moment-just thought about the last few years on their own. “I should go.” Castiel sighed, finally. “It was good to see- to talk to you. Don’t come out for a few minutes- I don’t want you to see me.” Cas ordered, before getting out of the confessional and pulling his hood over his face. He rushed out of the church. Dean left just in time to see castiel disappear from the church. He was wearing one of Deans old hoodies. It was now faded and worn. Castiel walked a block away and then climbed into his car. It was an old sedan that was falling apart. He laid down in the back of the car and pulled the natted blanket over himself. He was craving real badly- but he couldnt take a hit. He only had one stash left- and he was flat broke. He didnt want to start hooking again to get another hit but he couldnt get a job yet- so it was just a horrible cycle that he couldnt get away from. The night got really cold. He shivered for hours- and the tremors hit- and the nausea hit- and he he broke down and he took a hit. Then everything was amazing. He wasnt cold anymore- he wasnt sick- he was fine again. It was heavenly. He was awol for the next week. He came back to the church at two AM on a monday. He was high- strung out- and he just needed to see dean. He cornered him in one of the hallways and pushed him against the wall- it was dark and quiet. “Don’t turn around.” “Cas?” Dean asked, frozen on the spot. Castiel inhaled deans scent- his nose running up deans spine. “I needed to see you- but you can’t see me this way.” “You’re high.” Dean sighed. “Don’t be mad.” Cas begged, closing his eyes. “I just- I needed to see you.” he breathed. “Youre high in a church, Cas.” Dean sighed, tense and not happy. “I should go.” Cas said-somberly. “Fuck-I cant be here. I cant be doing this-” he turned and ran away. “Cas!” Dean said- turning but castiel was already gone.

They didnt see eachother for a few weeks after that. The next time they saw eachother, Dean was walking from the library- with a cup of coffee. He saw castiels car. It was filled with trash and drug paraphernalia and what must have amounted to everything castiel owned. 

Cas was asleep inside. 

[whxtiswriting]

Orphaned Castiel ||

Castiels parents died when cas was very young, their best friend, James Novak, became a parent overnight. They were rich, and overnight, James lost his best friends, gained a son, and more money than he could ever use. He was only twenty three, and suddenly he had an entirely new life. 

It was almost a dream, but the young child he’d just been given full responsibility of was kind of an asshole. He was constantly pushing James to his wits end. James suddenly felt like a failure at all turns. Nothing seemed to work, and the isolation was deafening. The first few years, James tried to do it alone. 

That didn’t last long. After Cas broke his leg playing soccer with some local kids, James had a tutor come in. they started homeschooling, and he got a nanny, and things got easier. He actually had some free time, imagine that. 

Castiel didnt have many friends, after that change. He saw many staff members come and go, and he lost his tutor right around the time he turned 17. He got caught making out, barely clothed, with his much older tutor. He was supposed to be studying- but instead he was feeling up his tutor. “Get out.” James hissed, pulling the older man by his ear. “Get out. You’re fired. Take your stuff and go.” James turned to cas. “You and I? We will talk after my meeting.” James warned, before walking off, to calm down. In the quiet of the room, castiel panicked. He got dressed and threw on a jacket- and he climbed out of the window, a familiar route the rebellious child took, over a large reaching branch, down the tree, and he took off running. He ran to the large gate that lined the huge property, jumped on it, climbed over- and hopped down, and then kept on running. He finally gave up running when his legs gave out. He didnt really think ahead-where he would go, where he would sleep that night, or anything like that. He ended up in a park, and hid out in a play structure.

It was really dark by the time james found him. Castiel had ignored the cries of his name- hed stayed hidden on the playground until james found him, and yanked him out from his hiding space. “Castiel!” He exclaimed, his temporary relief faded into anger. Castiel was trembling- but he didnt say anything. James dragged castiel to the car and watched him get in before he got into the drivers seat. He preferred to be in control-he didnt use personal drivers or anything excessive like that. The drive home was tense and quiet. Castiel didnt say anything, he kept his eyes downcast. He was afraid to say anything to his adoptive father. When they parked in the driveway, james clenched the steering wheel and breathed slowly for a moment. Castiel debated fleeing the car-but he feared that things would get worse if he did so. “My office.” James decided, slowly getting out of the car. “Let’s go.” “Yes sir.” Castiel agreed quietly, getting out. James was trying his hardest to keep calm. He walked inside and to his study without another word. He stood behind his desk, watching castiel walk in. “What were you thinking?” James asked. “-” Castiel hesitated. “Or were you just not thinking? You dont care who you’re hurting!” james accused, taking a deep breath. “-” Castiel scowled. “You acted cowardly, recklessly, and stupidly, Cas! I raised you better than this!” James hissed.

“Better than what?” Cas snapped. “I am EXACTLY as you raised me! If you think i should be better, than you should have raised me better!” Cas argued, glaring up at his godfather. 

“I raised you better than what youre doing! I raised you to not go fucking a man who is fifteen years older than you and has been around since you were eight!” James hissed, angrily. “I raised you not to runaway from your responsibilities! To runaway from those who care about you!” Castiel hissed at him, scowling, “Who I fuck or don’t isnt any of your damn business!” 

“It is my business! I didn’t raise you to become a whore!” James lashed out, realized what he said, and tried to calm down. 

“So now I’m a whore?” Castiel questioned, “For being the least bit sexual? You’re just jealous because I have more of a sexlife than you do.” Castiel accused. “I don’t know when you became such an asshole.” James said, shaking his head. “This isn’t about my personal life, kid. This about you.” “This seems like it’s really about you. You dont give a damn about me. You’re lashing out because I have found a way to have a life in spite of you.” Castiel growled angrily. 

“In spite of me? You have a life because of me!” James hissed back. 

“Because of you? You didn’t do anything! You just got a kid from some dead couple.” 

“I took you in when you had no one.” James exclaimed, exasperated. “You don’t care, do you? You don’t care who you’re hurting! You don’t care about anyone besides yourself! You’re such an ungrateful brat! You runaway instead of facing your consequences? If I had runaway from things when they got tough, who would you have? No one! You would be all alone!” “Being alone is better than this!” Cas said cruelly. “I don’t need you. I didn’t ask you to do anything for me! I don’t need you! You’re just an angry old man!” Cas screamed, threatened, clenching his hands. “You don’t need me? You wouldnt be able to tie your shoes or spell your name without me!” 

“You arent my dad! You’ve made that clear! You don’t get to tell me what to do!” 

“I’m glad your dad isnt around to see what you’ve become. You’d break his heart. You disgrace who they were!” James lashed out- saying things he didnt really mean. 

“I should fire you, throw you out. You’ve gotten too comfortable with the luxury that comes with being around me.” 

“You can’t fire me.” James laughed, “You couldn’t last one day without me.” 

“When I turn 18, you’re so out of here. It’ll be the first thing I do. You might want to start packing.” He threatened. 

“I’ll just have to make sure you know that I have control over you until you turn 18.” James replied, “You’re mine, I can make you do whatever I want.” “You couldnt make me say ‘Ah’ If you were a doctor.” 

“You’re an asshole.” 

Castiel shrugged. “A rich asshole.” 

James realised that they needed to calm down. “Go stand in the corner and think about everything you’ve done wrong today, everything you’ve said.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Cas snarked, rolling his eyes. He didnt move. 

“Castiel Michael Romanov-Novak! Go!” James hissed through his teeth. 

“Make me.” 

“Go!” James repeated. 

“No.” 

James stalked around the desk, grasped castiels arm, and dragged him into the corner. 

“Let go of me!” Castiel shrieked. 

“Stand in the corner!” 

“No!” Castiel screamed, thrashing against James’ hold. 

James blocked castiel into the corner, irritatedly. “Go!” 

Castiel continued to struggle for a moment before he stilled, and began taunting james. “This office is lovely. I think I’ll repaint it pink. Make it a recreation room.” 

“Shut up, cas.” James encouraged, angrily. 

“Make me.” 

“Do you even care how worried I was?” James asked, sighing. 

“No.” The answer was cold and he was lying. 

“I looked everywhere for you.”

“That’s your problem.” Cas antagonized him. 

“You’re such an asshole.” James exclaimed. 

“Who’s fault is that? Is it yours or the four nannies that quit on us?” 

“I don’t know how to make you realise what you did wrong or make you care!” James hissed back. 

“Why don’t you try hitting me? You seem to think that works!” 

“Shut up, cas.” James answered angrily. 

“Make me.” 

“Why don’t you ever just listen? Why do you always act like this?” James questioned castiel, still blocking him into the corner. 

“Maybe it’s you.” Cas taunted. He was stroking the fire that was james’ anger- but he couldnt help it. He couldn’t stop. 

James sighed, “Stand on one foot and face the wall.” 

Castiel laughed, “You really think that will work? Should I touch my nose, too?” “Just- Just do it, cas.” 

Castiel did as requested, but he couldnt stop laughing. 

“Do you have to be such a pain?” 

“No, but it’s fun.” Castiel answered, definitely. 

James kept trying to reprimand castiel nonphysically, nonviolently, but castiel kept pushing his buttons. Cas kept taunting him. James finally snapped. He yanked castiel over to his desk after Castiel said he hated him. 

James threw all of his work things onto the floor, a cup of pens shattered, pens scattered everywhere. “You’re an ungrateful bastard!” He hissed, having reached his breaking point. 

He held castiel down, his hand on the middle of his back, and undid his belt. He was blinded by anger. “You are forcing my hand, cas! I dont know how else to get through to you!” 

“Have you finally grown a pair?” Castiel asked, still recklessly taunting james. He didnt understand the danger he was in. 

James yanked his belt off, folded it, and hit castiel on his ass, over his jeans. “You need to learn that actions and words have consequences!” 

“Is that all you’ve got?” Castiel continued to taunt james. 

James hit the belt down harder, “You must face your consequences!” 

Castiel fake yawned, “Barely felt that.” 

James angrily growled and tore castiels pants and underwear down, before hitting him with the belt again. That time, castiels laugh was cut off- he’d been laughing at the fact that james growled. “Is that all you have?” He taunted, and forced himself to laugh again.  “It’s weak, no wonder you’re all alone.” 

James began hitting him harder, really putting all of his effort into the punishment. He was careless about where the belt landed, and he even pulled castiels shirt off because it was shielding his back from the whipping.  “You are a careless, ungrateful, smart-mouthed, stupid, reckless, asshole, spoiled, child!” each adjective was emphasised with a spank from the belt. 

At first, castiel kept taunting him, but as it went on- it became harder to think or speak at all. He just cried, and screamed. He couldnt block the pain out, he was grinding his teeth, trying not to break- but it didnt last. He was a babbling puddle of pain not too long into the beating. He couldnt catch his breath between the hits. It went on for so long- castiels skin broke, and he was bleeding all over the belt and james’ desk. He couldnt even beg for it to stop- he couldnt calm down. 

Then, james was yanked off of him. “Stop! James!” someone exclaimed,  “What do you think you are doing?!” 

Castiel was left panting on the desk, his head was spinning- his body felt like it was on fire. 

“Cas? Are you okay?” Someone asked, touching castiel’s face. 

Castiel flinched away from the contact.  

There was a lot happening, all of a sudden, but cas couldnt focus on it- everything was foggy and busy. He was moved to his bedroom, his soft bed was a welcome change from the hard desk. If it wasnt so painful, castiel would have fallen asleep. 

The room was quiet as castiel laid in his own misery. He couldnt bring himself to focus on the voices of his godfather, Benny- the head of the kitchens, and Amelia, James’ girlfriend of only a few weeks, as they argued in the hallway. The arguing was really loud, but all castiel was able to focus on was the scuff on his wall. It was from a table pushing into the wall when castiel fell as a young boy. 

It was quiet again, as a new voice entered, “Thanks for calling me, Benny.”  the newcomer was Bobby, their concierge doctor. “Where is he?” 

“He’s resting on his bed.” 

“I’d like to see him alone. I need a bucket of clean, warm water and a soft rag.” He instructed, before looking over the three gathered there. “I want you to go wait downstairs, and try not to kill anyone before I’m done here.” 

“Yes, bobby.” 

A moment later, his bedroom light flicked on and Bobby came in. The air was tense as bobby took in the sight before him. “Hey, Cas.” He greeted, attempting to not be upset by what he was seeing. 

Castiel didnt respond. 

“I’d ask how you are feeling but I’m sure I already know.” Bobby said, setting his doctor bag on a table and grabbing things out that he would need. 

Castiel stayed quiet. 

“I’ve got to clean you up, okay?” Bobby explained, “This will hurt.”

Castiel remained quietly. 

The water was brought in, with the rag. “First, I’m going to use water to clean you up.” He took the rag and began washing castiels injured body. 

Castiel tensed, and a whimper escaped his mouth. 

“It’s okay, cas.” Bobby promised, he continued to wash castiels wounds and apologize as he did so. When he was done, he put the rag away, and grabbed a disinfectant. “I have to cleanse the wound with disinfectant, now. This will really sting, and burn. You can scream if you need to.” he narrated for castiel what he was doing. 

Castiel didnt scream, though, even as the new fire erupted. He clenched his teeth, and closed his eyes. The burn was worse than the fire from being hit. It was amplified because castiel couldnt stop himself from writhing in agony. 

It was still stinging when Bobby slipped rubber gloves on. “This will help.” He promised, pouring medicine onto his hands. “I’m going to apply a medicinal salve to your injuries. This will be invasive, and it might hurt- but it’ll help.” 

Once again, castiel stayed quiet. 

Bobby was gentle and thorough as he applied the medicine to castiels injuries. The wounds were on his bottom and his back, mostly, but there were stray welts and cuts on his arms and thighs. 

“I could kill him for this.” Bobby grumbled, “To hurt a child is the worst thing you can do.” He removed his gloves and grabbed the bandages. “When my boys came to me- my oldest had a broken arm and hadnt slept in probably days. He had stayed awake and broken because he wanted to protect his brother- who has a medical condition. It had taken everything my oldest had to give. I would’ve killed their old man if I could have. What he did to my boys- my precious boys- I would have killed him. Luckily, he’s gone now.” 

Bobby took a moment to make sure every wound was covered before he addressed castiel again. “The recovery from this will be hard for you. CPS will have to investigate and monitor your homelife and- It’s just going to be tough.” Bobby said, looking at him. “I promise you, though, castiel, I won’t let this happen to you ever again. I promise you.”

Castiel looked at him sadly, “-”

“I’ll be here often, as you recover. You have time to get your words together, cas. Now- here, take these-” He instructed, handing castiel some medicine, “And get some sleep, Okay?” 

Castiel took the medicine with help from bobby and some water. He ended up basically sleeping for the next week, and then stayed in bed until his wounds faded into scars. There were three nurses that switched off to help castiel until he recovered, and Bobby checked in almost everyday. 

Bobby kept his promises- CPS looked into the household and James went to therapy.  Castiel and James ended up going to therapy together and separately. Cas was reluctant, but things got better, and after a while, they stopped going. 

Castiel was given many workbooks and personal books and he resumed working in his study alone for much of his life after the incident. 

James had to spent over a year trying to win amelia back, as she broke up with him over the incident- they did end up back together though. 

Castiel’s behavior overall vastly improved; he wasnt a menace to the staff or james, and he wasnt constantly reckless with his life anymore. He made good friends with Benny, too. 

Though, at 23, he might have had a backslide into dangerous behavior as he was engaging in a reckless ongoing flirtation with James’ personal assistant, Kyle. Kyle was a few years older than cas, but cas didnt care. He was almost always nice, and he cared about cas. 

Cas was holed up in his study, reading a love story about a doctor and a student and their adventures as they tried to save the world. The couple in the story was straight, but castiel didnt mind. He was curled up in the window seat, reading happily. 

That is, until someone knocked on the door. 

Castiel slipped his bookmark into his book and then slipped the book under the blanket on his ottoman. “Who is it?” He asked, getting up to grab his workbook he was supposed to be focusing on. 

“It’s me.” Kyle answered. 

“Oh, come on in.” Cas replied, dropping his workbook back onto his desk. 

“Working hard?” Kyle asked, shutting the door behind him. “Something like that.” 

“Oh, reading one of your other books?” Kyle asked, hugging castiel from behind. 

“Yeah.” 

“What about this time?” Kyle asked, kissing castiels shoulder. 

“A doctor, a lovestruck student, and adventure. Its actually really romantic.” Cas revealed, closing his eyes. 

“How would James feel about you reading your porn books up here?” Kyle teased, kissing castiels neck and nibbling his earlobe. 

Castiel shivered and gasped. “Stop it-” 

Kyle began sucking lightly on castiels earlobe. 

Castiel jerked away from him and rubbed his skin, trying to calm down. “Stop- I mean it. You’ll leave a mark and get us in trouble. James will fire you.” Cas reminded, trying to breathe. “Stop.” 

Kyle sighed, cupping castiels face. “A little risk in life is what keeps us alive.” 

[whxtiswriting]

A trap ||

Dean was leaving the office one afternoon, when he was ambushed by a man in a loose jacket suit. 

“Dean winchester?” The man asked, “You’ve been a hard man to track down. I was paid to give this to you-” He said, shoving a folder into deans hands. “It seemed important.” The man said, before rushing off. 

Dean was left baffled and confused. He opened the envelope and out fell a note and a picture. The picture was of his last boyfriend-Castiel. Theyd been broken off for two years, when castiel had left nothing but a bottle of wine and a goodbye note. Dean hadnt thought much of it in the last two years, as he had worked for a long time on getting a new position at work and settling into his life- he had romances and other interests in life- but this was something he wasnt expecting. 

An almost naked castiel was blindfolded- handcuffed, and covered in wounds and blood. The image made his heart stop. He was cold and numb as he walked inside, poured himself a cup of water and drank it. He looked at the letter- and read the words three times. He needs your help, like always, dean. We’ll see you soon. A warehouse address was written on the paper. Dean was in a haze, as if he had lost himself. He was in the car driving to the address without a second's notice. He had to save cas! The warehouse was next to the river, it was abandoned and dimly lit. Dean had a moments hesitation when he thought about whether or not this was a trap- he was walking into the empty warehouse and he wondered if it was faked- “Cas?” Dean asked, before calling louder “Cas?” It was a moment before castiel answered, “dean?” there was a scuffling sound, “Dean!” he was tucked away in the warehouse, restrained by rope and in his boxers. He was tied to a pole- and there was a mattress nearby. The trash around the warehouse made it clear that hed been held here for a few days, at least. “Cas! What happened? Whats going on here?” Dean asked, rushing over and trying to untie him. “What-what are you doing here? How did you find me?” Castiel asked, quietly, confused. “I thought-I thought i would never see you again.” castiel mumbled weakly- he was injured and weak. “We have to get you untied.” Dean replied angrily, and confused. “Whoever did this might come back-” Castiel swallowed thickly, and closed his eyes. “He-” “He might, might he?” a voice called. “The puzzle is complete, Baby-bird.” The man said, walking over to them. It was the man who handed dean the envelope- vaguely familiar and igniting a fire inside of dean. He stood up, and turned to face the other. “I’m taking castiel home.” “Go ahead and try, he will come back.” al said, smiling. “Isnt that right, little bird?” “I-I thought you left, Al.” Castiel breathed, trying to be tough because they weren’t alone. “I just wanted to personally invite our guest of honor to the party, Cassie.” he pulled off his suit jacket, and draped it over a loose box. “It’s not really a party without a guest of honor.”  “Fuck off.” Dean said, angrily, stepping between castiel and Alistair. “Take a seat, Deanie Baby.” Al instructed. “Fuck you.” Dean insisted again, defensively. “Oh, I intend to.” Alistair laughed, hauntingly. “Baby-bird, You wanna be a good boy? Make up for everything you’ve done wrong?” He asked, looking at cas. “Al, please- don’t do this-” Castiel begged, teary eyed. He was exhausted and worn from the days torture. “You cant keep us here.” Dean argued, looking at Al. “You can’t do this.” Alistair hit a beam, hard enough to make castiel jump against the bindings. “Dammit dean! You’re not a very good Dolly! You’re always making problems! Always ruining things!” Revealing just how much he was under Alistairs skin. “You stole his heart! He’s always crying your pathetic name! You ruin everything! You did this to yourselves!”  he stormed over to them- and shoved dean into the pillar. “You’re a lunatic!” Dean hissed, shoving Alistair back. Alistair hit him-swinging at him. “You are a broken dolly! You don’t play right!” He hissed at him, aggressively. 

Dean tried to block the hit but he fell anyway. 

“Al! Stop!” Castiel begged, jerking against the bindings. “Shut up! I’ll deal with you after i clean up this mess!” Alistair hissed, grabbing dean from the floor and yanking him to a pole across from castiel. “Ally, baby- Please- I’m sorry! I’ll do anything! Leave him alone!” Castiel pleaded, pulling against the rope. “Shut up, cassie.” Al snapped, tying dean to the pole. “I’ll make a good dolly out of him soon.” He promised. Dean struggled, blinking conscious. “Stop- leave him alone.” “Now you can still watch, Deanie baby.” Al said, patting his face. “Leave him alone.” Dean pleaded. “Stop-” “You’re almost convincing.” he said, admiring his work and stepping away from dean. “You’ll enjoy this.” He smiled. Alistair knelt and kissed castiel- shoving his tongue down castiels throat- as he untied the bindings. He moved to kiss the rope burned skin from the restraints- keeping a rope around castiels neck to be a leash. “You gonna be good for me, baby? You gonna be a good boy? A good dolly?” “Al, please-” Castiel asked, closing his eyes. “Please- please don’t-” Alistair slapped Castiel, “Answer the question baby, don’t be all shy in front of our guest of honor.” Castiel looked at dean- sighing. “I-” “Don’t! Cas!” Dean chirped. “Shut up!” Al growled. “I’ll be a good boy- sir.” Castiel promised, looking away. Alistair yanked the rope and pulled castiel to his feet. “Cmon, baby. Lets welcome our guest.” Castiel was dragged and forced to kneel between deans lap, he couldnt make eye contact with dean. “He has too many clothes on. Take them off- Give him a blowy, baby.” Alistair instructed, smiling and stroking castiels hair. “Al-” cas breathed. “Blow him and do a good job of it- help him come around, baby.” Alistair instructed. “Castiel, stop!” Dean hissed, “Don’t listen to this fucker!” Dean said, scooting away from castiel. Cas was tense-and afraid. “I-I didn’t know- I didn’t think that Al would do this.” Castiel apologized, crawling closer to dean. “I am so sorry, Dean-” tears clouded his vision. Dean squirmed and got away from castiel, “Fucking stop! Just, stop! Listen to me, you don’t have to do this!” “He does.” Al replied angrily, “If i told him to kill you, he would. He is my stupid little plaything.” Al laughed, “my good little dolly.” Castiel didnt move- he was frozen to the spot. “Get to work, cas.” Al instructed, “or it’ll be so much worse for you.” Dean used his boot- putting it on castiels chest and pushing him as far from him as he could. “You only have vague control of castiel and none of me, asshole.” Castiel didnt move. Deans words cut into his skin- and his head was spinning. It had been a really long day- and he was sort of convinced this was all a fever dream. Al got angry and pulled dean up by his hair- hissing. “You too will break, Dean. You will be a good dolly, soon. You will do what I say, you will hurt and you will hurt castiel when I tell you to-” he laughed. “I will break you.” Dean smirked. “You can fucking try.” Alistair hit him-hard. “You will watch your fucking mouth- little boy.” He hit him again, blood splattered on alistairs face. “What does he see in you? What makes him call your name?” “Al, stop!” Cas begged, teary eyed. “Shut up! I’m not talking to you! You failed me!” Alistair hissed. 

“He saw a better fuck than you!” Dean spat, smirking. “I’m better than you, and I don’t even have to force anything.” Alistair tore deans shirt open, and threatened him, “I’ll show you a better fuck.” He promised, working on deans belt. “You wanna take a viagra before we start old man?” Dean taunted, fearlessly. Alistair shoved the fabric from deans shirt into his mouth. “Shut your mouth, little boy. You talk too much.” While Alistair was busy, castiel started moving away from dean, away from Al. He was tired and weary and he just wanted it to stop. Dean kicked and squirmed to prevent Alistair from undoing his pants. “Stay still, baby-boy.” Alistair hissed, moving his hand to deans throat. “Stay still or I will gut you.” Castiel moved, quietly. He had to get to Alistairs gun. It was always nearby- frighteningly close. And once, recently, inside of castiel. Dean squirmed harder. “You’ll have to fucking make me.” he knocked Alistairs hand off. Alistair smirked, tracing Deans chest. “It’s gonna be so good to break you in; You’ll be such a good toy- maybe even better than Castiel.” Then, the click of Alistairs gun. Castiel had it- and he was standing behind Al. “Stop, Al.” Alistair laughed, “put it down, before you get hurt.” “You leave him alone. Untie him and let him go, now.” Castiel demanded, frightened. “ Alistair pressed himself firmly into dean. “If you shoot, you will shoot dean too. Do you want that, little bird?” “He’d understand.” Castiel bluffed. “Let him go.” “Youre a little birdy, you won’t hurt me.” Al replied. “Put the gun down.” “Maybe- maybe I’d shoot myself. You’d lose me and him.” Cas argued. Dean muffled and bucked against alistair who looked angry. “You wouldnt.” Al replied. “This would hurt Deanie baby. You kill yourself for him? You think thats a good idea?” “You want me so badly, you fight for me- you hold me in a prison- you’re willing to let me shoot myself?” Castiel asked, pointing the gun at his chin. Alistair hesitated before turning to face Cas, “Baby, bird.”  Cas had only been shooting once- it was when Dean and he had first started seeing eachother. It was awkward and weird- and it was a really good date. “Baby, bird- I love you. Put the gun down.” Al insisted, moving to approach cas. Castiel wasnt really thinking about what he was doing. It really didnt feel… real. He turned the gun and pointed it at Al. Castiel pulled the trigger- shooting both dean and Alistair. He was blinded by fear- and rage. It wasnt real. Alistair collapsed, screaming- but deans scream was muffled- and he was prevented from collapsing. Castiel dropped the gun, rushed over to dean. “Oh dean, i’m sorry-” he said, pulling the gag from deans mouth and undoing the ropes. “I’m sorry- i’m so sorry-” Deans side was bleeding, and he was dizzy. Castiel helped him to a sitting position and pressed his shirts remains into the wound to stop the bleeding. “Please tell me that you have a phone-” castiel begged. “My pocket-” dean agreed. Castiel dug into the pocket and pulled out the phone, dialling 911. “Hurry-” Dean said, pressing the shirt into the wound. Castiel tried not to panic- it was going to be okay.

“911, whats your emergency?” “I’m in a warehouse- we need an ambulance-” He begged, shakily. In deans pocket he found the address on the note- as well as the phone. “I think- this is the address. I shot two people. Please hurry.” “Cas!” Dean clutched castiels arm. Castiel looked to dean. “I’m sorry, dean-” “No-no, you did good.” dean shook his head. “You did good.” “Theyre not far, they’re gonna fix this. They will.” Dean suddenly looked panicked, “Cas!” Castiel was pulled to the floor and al jumped on top of him, pummelling him before squeezing off his airflow. “You piece of shit!” Castiel clawed at Alistairs hands. He couldnt breathe. Dean groaned and tried to get up- “cas-” “I’ll fucking kill you!”  he squeezed harder, hissing, “You’re mine, you belong to me- youre fucking mine! I will do what I want with you!” He tried to buck Alistair off of him but he couldnt. The tears started flowing and wouldnt stop-he was suffocating. Hed gotten dean shot- and he was going to die. The bullet wound prevented dean from getting close to them. Just then, the lights flooded on and the police rushed in. “Police! Hands up!” Castiel continued to attempt to buck Alistair off of him, but he couldnt. Al wasnt going to give up. “I wont let them save you. You’re mine to kill.” Alistair hissed. “I told you what would happen if you tried to leave!” “Hands up!” The officer hissed. Things were blurring and he was struggling, but castiel couldnt get him to stop. “He is going to kill him!” dean cried. “You have to stop him! He’s going to kill him!” “Hands up or I’ll shoot!” the officer hissed. “I’ve been shot once tonight! If I die, he’s coming with me!” Alistair promised. Then, the bang, and alistairs hands loosened as he fell over. Castiel gasped for air, panic seizing him. Alistair was ontop of him, he was dead, wasnt he? “Cas-” Dean attempted to get closer to castiel, but the police officer next to him didnt allow him to. “You are hurt, you must stay still.” “You have--... help cas.” dean argued. “Dean-M fine.” he promised, weakly. “You okay?” his hands curled against the ground, and he panted. “Thank god, you’re alive-” dean smiled. “M sorry, dean-”  castiel breathed. Dean was quiet. “Sir?” the officer asked. “We need a paramedic, quick!” Deans eyes were shut and he wasnt answering. “Dean?” castiel asked, trying to sit up. “Dean!” he started sobbing- fully breaking down. It had just been the worst day of his life. “Oh god- please don’t let him die! He’s- he’s gotta live- i cant be the reason he dies!” he cried. “It’s okay, kid.” the officer promised. “The paramedics are here.” They rushed in and tended to dean, though a few came to castiel. It had been a really bad week- or more. Cas didnt know how long he’d been kept here. “I’m fine-” cas argued. “He needs help- I shot him-” “He’s going into shock! He’s lost too much blood-” one said. “Please save him- he needs help-” Cas babbled. “So do you.” A paramedic said quietly. They rushed both dean and cas into an ambulance- and put a tube in deans mouth and an IV in his arm. “His BP is droping, he’ll need a transfusion!” “Do you know his blood type?” castiel was asked. “No.” cas replied. “We’ll need O negative then, call the hospital!” the paramedic said hurriedly. “Tell them to prep for surgery, theres no exit wound.” Castiel closed his eyes and tried to stop listening. It was too much. He just wanted it to stop. Just for a moment. Then they were at the hospital, and dean was rushed away. Castiel was brought to an exam room and examined. He wasnt life threatening, not like dean. He was thoroughly shaken, though. He didn’t even know what day it was- and he was panicking. He was panicking when the doctor came in- and so he was sedated. There were many wounds- but all easily treatable. 

A while later, an officer came in. castiel sat up, and stared at his hands as the officer addressed him.  The room was dim. “Mr. Novak, I was hoping to talk to you.” The officer said quietly. Castiel looked at the bandages on his wrists. He chewed his lip, and nodded shakily. “Do you know if dean made it?” “He’s in surgery still.” The officer said quietly. “Oh.” Cas sighed, frowning.  “Am I in trouble?” Castiel asked, tugging on the blanket he was draped in. “I shot him.” “We just want to know what happened, Castiel.” The officer reassured. “I shot him.” Cas said softly. “What happened?” He asked quietly. “I tried to leave Al again.” he said quietly. “He wouldnt let me leave.” he whispered back. “He got mad- and he wouldnt let me leave.” “Alistair was the one who was shot by police, right?” The officer asked. “Yes, sir. And- and I shot him too.” Cas replied softly. “I meant to shoot him- he was- i didnt mean to hurt dean-” Castiel whispered. “Al was trying to hurt him, and he wouldnt stop-”  castiel sighed. “He was obsessed with dean-and with me… he found photos of dean and i from a few years ago, when i was with dean- he twisted it into my being obsessed with him. If I protested his cooking or his treatment of me- he would twist it back to something to do with dean.” Castiel explained shakily. “I tried to leave again- and he brought me to that warehouse to punish me. What day is it, anyway?” castiel asked, trying to understand. “Its wednesday, October third.” The officer replied. “This Al, he assaulted you?” “Yes sir- he was abusive and he lost it.” Castiel sighed. “And why was dean there?” He asked. “Al disappeared for a few hours and- and he tricked dean into showing up, I think. I think dean was there to save me.” Castiel sighed. “And I shot him.” he frowned. 

“We took pictures of the warehouse. How long were you being kept there?” “A week, I think.” Castiel sighed, touching his wrists. “Can you have someone tell me when dean is okay?” he asked quietly. “I’ll ask around. Why did you shoot Al?” “He was gonna hurt Dean.” castiel whispered softly.

[whxtiswriting]

Abilities ||

He was going to yet another a new home- they were driving there now. The rain was speckling the window as the handler drove. 

The last house didn't keep him- they threw him out. He told the wife that the husband was having an affair. 

Telepathic or empathic like he was, they didn't like that. They knew what it meant to bring a mind feeler into the house- but they thought it would be okay. 

It wasn't. 

The man had gotten so mad- so volatile and angry- cas had to run outside where they threw his stuff and locked him out until someone else would come to get him. 

"...is this one gonna be the same?" Cas asked his handler- a tired older woman, she was worried about it. He could tell. 

Even if she had that ring that made children's abilities go dark. 

"I think it'll be better." She promised him. "They're better equipped for children who have been moved a lot." 

"...and has my dad been heard from or seen?" He asked, watching the rainfall. 

"You know I'm not supposed to talk about that, kid." She replied softly. "We are all gonna keep you safe. I'll be in town all the time, to be here for you. It'll be okay." She swore. 

"Okay." Cas agreed softly.

He didn’t talk after that, he didn’t want to. He didn’t have to. They rode in silence, and by the time they got to the city they were supposed to be in, it was late. “Do you want to grab something to eat before I drop you off?” his handler asked, she knew about his insecurities and tendencies to not eat. “I’m fine,” he replied softly. “If-if they are who you want them to be, they won't let me starve.” “Are you sure?” she asked, “The Agency pays for food.” She promised, reassuring him. “I just- I just want to lay down.” He insisted, “please, let's just get this over with.” She pulled up to a blue house with a wrap-around porch, and she parked the car. “There are several other children in this house from the agency, and they have all been well taken care of and okay,” she promised. “This will be a good home.” “It’ll be okay.” He repeated, before laughing, “I’ll try not to ruin this family.” “That wasn’t your fault, kiddo.” She reassured him, before undoing her seatbelt. “Let's get you inside.” He undid his own, grabbed his bag of things, and got out of the SUV. Together, they walked up to the house. Castiel was reassured by the hanging plants and aura changing charms. “A witch?” he asked, looking at his handler. “A Metamorphmagus  with a desire to change peoples hearts, She is rather nice.” His handler smiled. Castiel took a deep breath and looked at the plants while she went up to knock on the door. The door opened and a lovely woman, the witch, and her husband were brought into view. “Ada!” She smiled. “Amelia.” his handler smiled. “James, This is Castiel.” “Welcome, Castiel,” James said kindly. “We are so excited to have you.” Amelia beamed. “I like your plants- your protection spells,” Castiel said softly, deflecting some. “You are a witch?” He asked her quietly. “I’m learning.” Amelia smiled. “Why don’t we come inside, we’ve saved you a plate,” James said quietly. Castiel bit his lip and looked around. “--” James looked at him and smiled, a scholarly man with glasses. He didn’t seem threatening. “You don’t have to worry.” He promised. “You’re a scholar,” he said quietly. “A telepath?” He asked, eyeing him suspiciously. “We will all come to know each other in due time, but yes, I can read minds.” James agreed. “I don’t read my children's minds, and Amelia doesn't change those things belonging to our children. You will be safe here.” “I read minds- emotions-” Castiel said, picking at his jacket. “We were briefed,” James promised. “It’ll be okay.” “Please, come inside, eat something. We have food for you, I cooked.” Amelia smiled. “Okay.” Castiel agreed, letting his guard down some. Once inside, he took a deep breath. The house smelled like potatoes and chicken. There were soccer balls in the hallway and crayons on the table in the living room. It was homey. “The kitchen is through here.” Amelia smiled. “Our other kids are with the family for the night. We didn’t want to overwhelm you.” Castiel followed her to the table and sat down. “How many?” he asked,  “How many other kids?” “Currently, we have two boys, Balthazar and Gabriel, But they have their friends over all the time, Dean and Sam are brothers who live down the road; and we have our twins, Annabell and Abigail.” Amelia smiled. “They're younger, they're with my sister for the night; All fosters.” “None of your own?” He asked, inspecting the food. The way they tensed, didn't go unnoticed. “You're a very quizzical kid,” James noted, sitting with him. “Does that make you angry?” Cas asked, eyeing him. He wondered how quickly they'd break. Show their true colors.

“No, it doesn't. There are just some things we aren't going to talk about.” He replied. “You have your secrets, right?” Castiel relented. “Okay.” 

“Excuse me, I’ll go finish up the paperwork with Ada.” Amelia excused herself from the table and walked away. “We didn't poison your food, Cas,” James promised quietly. “I know you're scared. We were given a file on you, 8 homes in the last two years, that is tough.” Castiel ate and tried not to think about the last several homes. He didn't know if he trusted James to not read his mind. “Do you prefer a private school or public?” James asked, sipping his drink. It looked like whiskey. “We have to enroll you sooner than later, but I wanted to give you the choice. Our twins are in private, the boys public- They play soccer and prefer the public team to the private, but each kid gets a choice.” “I would rather not go back to catholic school,” Castiel said quietly, looking at the food again. “It doesn't have to be catholic.” James agreed. “I have a list of schools in the area-” “Public is fine.” Cas insisted. “Whatever is easier.” “Look at the list, and you can decide.” “Public is fine,” Cas repeated. “The boys will be thrilled.” James agreed, letting it go. Castiel was silent for a moment, eating. He had several issues surrounding food- but he was working on it. He just wanted to be normal. As normal as he could be. “Will you show me where I’ll be sleeping while I’m here?” Castiel asked, pushing his food away after a moment. “The boys' room is upstairs.” James agreed. “Follow me.” Castiel nodded softly, getting up and following James upstairs. Each step made him tenser- what if James did something? What if he tried something? James didn't, though. He just showed Castiel to a room on the right, “Pick any of the bunk bed beds on the left wall. Gabriel and Balthazar use the right one.” “Yes, sir,” Castiel said quietly, tossing his bag onto the top bunk. “Amelia will take you shopping for clothes and such in the morning and we’ll have lunch with the rest of the kids tomorrow. Get some rest.” James said calmly before leaving Castiel alone. The room was cluttered, but it looked nice. He chose the top bed for safety and comfort. No one could get to him without trouble. It was less likely for them to accidentally touch him up there any way too. Castiel pulled his sweater off and tossed it onto his bag. His tank top under it was dingy and had holes in it, and his left arm was bandaged up. He had been in the hospital recently from a visit with his father. He was alright now. He took his jeans off as well and went to see if he could shower. James was returning with a blanket and pillow and the two accidentally bumped into each other. Castiels' mind went black- James' thoughts were dragged into his head and all he could feel was James. He jerked back and pushed himself into the wall- “Don’t touch me!” he cried heart racing and pounding. He was panicking- It took James a moment to recover- hed never felt control like that over another person before. Castiels powers were similar to others hed experienced but hed never saw it like that before. “It’s okay, cas- I didn't mean to startle you.” “What happened? What's going on?” Amelia asked, rushing upstairs. “I just experienced first hand, Castiel's ability. It was accidental and it scared us.” James said quietly, reassuringly. “It is okay.” Castiel was still shaking against the wall. His knees felt weak, his heart was screaming. “Are you alright, cas?” Amelia asked, her voice was calm. He took a deep breath and looked at her. He was safe, they aren't going to hurt him- they didn't mean to scare him. “I’m- I wanted to shower,” he explained softly. “I-I didn’t mean to-” he whispered. “It is not your fault. You can shower, I’ll bring you a towel,” James said, handing Amelia the blankets. Castiel made sure not to touch James when he brought him the towel. While he showered, James and Amelia had a conversation. “His ability is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before, Mel.” James breathed. “I had- I was- inside his mind, not like how I read them, but I could control it- He was me- I was him,” James said quietly. “Poor Castiel,” Amelia said softly. “That is a rather tough ability.” Castiel climbed into bed and closed his eyes- trying to breathe. The nightmare was playing over and over again behind his eyelids. The hopelessness as his body is no longer his- it brought back horrible nightmares. 

‘Daddy, please don't-’ Castiel cried. ‘Shut up, cas.’ he shoved Castiel to the ground, keeping his hand on Castiel's back. His scarred and bruising back. His mind wasn't his- he could feel everything his father wanted to do- everything he felt towards Castiel in all of its angry hatred and desire to control him- the sick urges before they happened. The tears washed away nothing- but he did make himself stop thinking about it. James wasn't his father- this was going to be a different home. He was going to be okay here. The next morning went by quickly, Castiel was bought new clothes and new things for his room. Then, it was time to meet the rest of the family.