will-wait-4-you

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California Dreamin’

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Big Sur, California

elliothawkey

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balfouri

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also a poem from the new, unreleased collection. very possibly my own all-time favourite.

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I made a Joel Miller playlist because I'm going through a phase and I need something to listen to while reading and writing✌

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put the supernatural showrunners on hot ones. i have questions for all of them that id prefer them to receive while in pain

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Illustration by Seiichi Hiyashi, 1981, from “A Japan Woman,” published by Sanrio.

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this grave keeper edible aint shit

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bittersuite | d. winchester

synopsis. you & dean are having an argument, you use your powers to do something he doesn’t approve of tags. 1k words, slightly religious talk, angst, angry dean, talking about wanting a family series masterlist

"I don't know why it's wrong, Dean!" You're not shouting, you haven't ever actually raised your voice so it's not surprising, but Dean's is sure getting loud.

"Because the leviathans are on our ass every fuckin' day! If they sense angel activity and we're found out it'll be your fucking fault." He points at you, aggressively and you have a feeling in your chest you just don't understand. Well, you understand it but it feel horrible. How could anyone ever want to be human? Even interacting with them is detrimental to your intellect. Especially the way he’s swearing so much.

You should apologize, and you're about to, but he's even angrier now. "Every time I tell you to do something, you never goddamn listen—" You shut your eyes and you immediately think of heaven's gates. When you open your eyes, you're in… Kansas? Lawrence, Kansas to be specific. And infront of the Winchester's house, no less. 

There's a woman inside, she's running after a child and you can't help but smile. You're not sure what's so amusing about it but it's almost like you can imagine that being Dean and his mother. Her running after him, this house being their own, him growing up not hunting. 

You know that's not possible, you know he was chosen before he was even born, you know vessels are made before they're even human, but it's comforting you in some way. It comforting to think that there could be another universe where the Winchesters were just themselves.

You don't notice it but you're somehow in front of the door, knocking. A man opens the door, "Hi. I'm…" an Angel, is what you've learned to say when you, Sam, and Dean meet monsters. An FBI agent when you meet any type of authority. Just a Guardian Angel when you meet other Angels.

"I'm Cherry." You make up. "And I… I am a friend of the Winchesters. They used to live here." When you were assigned to come down to earth to kill Cass for disobeying Heaven, you had to study Dean fully. You watched his entire life, every single second he's been alive until you met is engrained into your memory. 

It feels horrible, you know if he ever found out he'd be angry at you but you didn't know you'd grow to like the Winchesters as much as you did. 

"Honey," he yells for his wife, you presume. The woman who dean and Sam helped when they came here years ago shows up with a smile. "Friend of the Winchesters."

Her eyes widen. "Of— why? Is something wrong? We haven't felt anything." You shake your head, looking down at the seven year old. 

"Hey, little boy." He smiles at you and then hides behind his mother's leg. "I'm sorry, your son is just adorable. There's nothing wrong with the house,I only…" but you have nothing to say. You have no idea what you're doing or why you're ruining this couple's evening or why you're like this. You miss Dean. 

It clicks that's you had left mid-argument just now, on their porch. And that if you close your eyes, your bound to get back to dean. So you don't blink, just look up at them and see them moving to make room for you. You smile and enter the house.

"We were just about to have dinner, wanna join us?" You nod eagerly, looking around. You remember all four years of Dean's life in this house so vividly, way more than even he does, and it's exhausting. Because in taking his memories, you absorbed his emotions too and they are painful. They're too strong for a man to bare.

You sit down on the table as they plate everything and when they sit down, they offer you their hands. The woman, Jenny, smiles. "We pray." You take her hand immediately, connecting your other one with her older Son Sari, and he does the same with his seven year old sister, Richie. 

"Lord, thank you for the food we are about to eat." And then it ends. And then they eat and your hands are mostly still outstretched waiting for more. It takes a minute for Jenny to snap you out of your trance. "Cherry, you okay?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm sorry, I— Dean needs me. I need to go see him." She doesn't say anything, just takes your hand before you run out of the room, closing your eyes once you reach the door. 

"Did you find her? Well do it faster, Cass—" it's familiar. It's everything you've been craving ever since you left. It's only been a few hours but it's dark now, which is probably why they were having dinner. Right. They. Because you had dinner with a family.

A family that prays. Or pretends to, it’s only being gratefulness for being given something. But have they prayed as they make the food? Do they ask god to give them strength? Do they study the books? Why did you pray with them? Who would you pray to?

They’re the people you turned your life around for. You’ve been alive forever and these humans, who are only sometimes grateful, are who you’ve rejected order for. Especially this human.

"Dean?" He turns around, his gun automatically pointed at you and you can't help the smile on your face. He released a breath before talking two long steps to you and pulling you into his chest. 

"God, Angel, where were you? Are you okay?" He lets go, taking a quick look. When he realizes your fine, his eyes become furious. "What were you fucking thinking? Don't you ever do that again," you're about to stand up to him, the same way Cass sometimes does, but then he says, "don't run away when you know I can't chase after you."

"You were shouting."

"We had a disagreement, it's normal." Is it? Are the loud voices and anger normal? "Please just talk to me before ever doing that again." 

"Okay."

"Where did you go?" He asks, his voice still slightly tense. Maybe he doesn't trust you after all this time, thinking you're just waiting for the angels to rise after Cass's disappointment as their leader. 

"Lawerence." He doesn't ask anything after that. But when he hugs you again, he hears your soft mumble. "They had a family." Yeah, they did. You never will, though. 

&. notes !! guys I promise he’ll be nice next time (maybe)

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to bite. Fondly.

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Happy plagueiversary

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little bit from a longer piece of mine ࿔‧ ֶָ֢˚˖𐦍˖˚ֶָ֢ ‧࿔

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I should be able to both read for 8hrs a night and sleep for 8hrs a night. That I cannot is very rude and, frankly, poor design.