willow124 - Tumblr blog

[willow124]

As a writer I need everyone to know that whenever I write "exchanged glances" my intent is this

[willow124]

"Mirkwood would judge Legolas so hard for Gimli-" Wrong. Gimly has consistently charmed the pants off every single elf he's come across. The elves of Lothlorien went from wanting to kick him out to loving him in like 2 days. He's Galadriel's special little guy. My man is out there singlehandedly tearing down centuries of prejudice because he's just so damn charming. When he was nearing the end, he didn't even go to Durin's halls - he just went with Legolas to the undying lands so he could hang out with elves for the rest of time. Gimli would have Thranduil and the rest of the elves of Mirkwood wrapped around his dwarven finger in a week's time. Ideal son in law except for the beard.

[willow124]

Thanks to youtube, I learned today that men used to have so many pockets they didn't know what to put in all them and would often forget what they put where. They even had pockets in the tails of their fancy coats. (Thank you Nicole Rudolph for the video, it was amazing and a little hilarious.) Knowing this, and knowing that fashion in Harry Potter is stuck in the 1800s (seemingly), does this mean that wizards have pockets all over their robes? How much stuff could a wizard carry in a robe covered in pockets? Especially if those pockets had a variety of spells on them to decrease their weight or their size.

[willow124]

I just love The Mummy (1999) so much like I've always felt it was a masterpiece, I was never able to pinpoint the exact reason but I think I got it in my last rewatch: every single character is extremely competent in a very concrete, punctual and once-in-a-lifetime helpful skillset, and then they're ABSOLUTE DISASTERS on literally EVERY OTHER ASPECT of their lives. Evy can read and Sherlock her way through literally any egyptian riddle like she was born for it, but PLEASE, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, leave ANY sharp objects, unstable structures or even-remotely inflamable objects ANYWHERE near her she WILL find a way to unleash HELL IN HER SLEEP. Rick can smash-parkour-swordfight his way out of any scenario but he has to have ALL neurons completely focused on the ONE (1) task at hand and if he gets out-DudeBroed he loses all his hit points his health meter goes red and he surprise-resets like a forced Windows update (see following scene for reference)

And don't even get me STARTED on Jonathan. This absolute gem of a man really is willing to let his sister drag him to hell and back with only mild complaining and will stop her human sacrifice ritual while the priest is mid-swing with an "hey Evy look we found the book!" with the same energy as if he was proudly announcing he found his long-lost car keys behind the couch but we DON'T blame him because he correctly spent his one braincell on THIS scene that changed the history of cinema forever:

In conclusion everyone is so very capable and so very pathetic at the same time and thus we have no choice but to stan

[willow124]

We don’t talk about Leia killing Jabba enough. Her grandmother and father were born into slavery. Her blood was that of the desert sand and the shackles of bondage. Leia was never more a Skywalker than the day she strangled her slave master with the very chains he used to bind her. The daughter of Anakin Skywalker was the one who killed Tatooine’s most notorious slaver, and I find that really beautiful.

[willow124]

I’ve talked about this before but imagine what it’s like for someone in a country/place where eliot is Top Most Wanted and then your tech guy finds a breakout star baseball player on their visual scanner that looks EXACTLY like spencer. but…there’s no way that’s him, right???

and then the next year it happens again but this time it’s some one hit wonder country singer kenneth crane that has like 78 tween-run fangirl blogs dedicated to him. you see a grainy video of him being chased by a horde of screaming teenage girls and ??? no way Eliot Last Thing You’ll Ever See Spencer is a country singer star just. signing pictures of his face right…?

a few months later your intern shows you footage of an eliot lookalike who is in san lorenzo talking about how there is dog fighting in the presidential palace and you just. sigh. because of course. a scant few days later the political geography of the country changes drastically and damien moreau is imprisoned. …interesting

and then a year of silence goes by. he still shows up as blips on the radar but he must have a good hacker working for him because his tracks on the internet are expertly erased.

every time you ask through interagency channels some random interpol guy talks in (condescending?) riddles at you and it also somehow feels like he’s threatening you

and then your friend who recently got into foreign hockey teams sends you a dropyourgloves video of someone called jacques the bear. you immediately get a headache (and watch some more videos because even you can admit this guy is a good hockey player)

and you know he’s a Bad Guy but it’s been admittedly a bit entertaining seeing what claim to fame he will come upon next. and his most recent actions over the few years make you wonder.

a few months later your phone pings because multiple heads of state evacuated from DC. the reason? eliot spencer was in town. you hear two days later a bioterrorist was taken down by… the report was redacted. your hacker tells you spencer and two teammates were behind the successful operation. which, huh.

not even a full year later it is released that spencer is dead and… you don’t know how to feel.

[willow124]

So apparently, over the summer, Quibi (the shortest-lasting streaming service ever lmao) did a quarantine project called “Home Movie: The Princess Bride” where a bunch of celebrities recreated The Princess Bride in tiny chunks at home.

And like there was no permanent cast, all these celebrities seem to have gotten a scene or part of a scene to do (i’m not sure exactly, I did not ever watch Quibi and thus haven’t seen this yet), and then they just… recreated it as best they could. At home. Under quarantine.

So like, you had Jennifer Garner in a blanket cape playing Princess Buttercup AND the Booing Old Woman with a crowd comprised entirely of stuffed animals:

Or Taika Waititi paying Westley off a badly-drawn Inigo on a piece of cardboard held in front of someone’s face:

And it’s all just delightful.

But my absolute favorite part of this thing that I’ve sadly never seen but assume is probably absolutely hilarious and a treasure and I want to find it some day and watch the whole thing… is that Carey Elwes is in it.

As Prince Fucking Humperdink.

[willow124]

Panthera Arven on Instagram / Etsy

[willow124]

You want to know why Inigo Montoya remains such an iconic and beloved character even 35 years after the Princess Bride came out?

It’s because he’s one of the few characters in fiction who has a story where he has dedicated his life to revenge, his whole motivation is about getting revenge….and he gets it! and then he isn’t empty or despairing! he doesn’t regret it! he’s totally satisfied!

because so many stories about revenge or rage are about characters “seeing the futility of their actions” or learning “their desire for revenge has only made them the monsters they hated” FUCK THAT.

Inigo Montoya kills the man who kills his father, is allowed to live in the narrative after and be happy about it and it is so satisfying. it’s fantastic. it’s iconic.

let more characters rage against the world, bring it down with bloodied hands, and let them be FUCKING RIGHT about it. Let them celebrate their success with sharp grins, and let them live happy, full lives where they always remain proud/fulfilled for what they’ve done

[willow124]

We’ll wait right here and we’ll, I don’t know, shoot the courier when he comes out.

[willow124]

at first you’d think eliot is gruff and manly and just a punchy-man, but he literally also lives to cause subtle chaos

this man says the most unnerving things to a mark for shits and giggles

this man literally took a bite out of a live snake to commit to the act

we need to embrace chaos gremlin eliot more

[willow124]

if you read in a frog paper “specimen was released in the field immediately after capture” chances are very good that what it actually means is

“i dropped the damn frog and despite the fact that we fell all over each other no one could recapture it”

[willow124]

help all I can think abt is after jinx a reporter being like "how did a civilian highjack your fire engine?" and someone, probably buck or Chim, going "our probie said the q word 😐" and regular people are all confused but first responders everywhere are just like. that motherfucking probie

Ravi's just glad they didn't say his name

[willow124]

❤ Shelley + Bonanno, my new OTP ❤

bonus, because I just like him so much:

[willow124]

i cast concussion! [beats you over the head with my staff]

[willow124]

back in my day we didn't have youtube or tiktok if you wanted people to see your funny video you had to mail a VHS tape to ABC and pray for bob saget's approval

[willow124]

character in a fight scene: *restrains their opponent by pinning them against the wall by their wrists*

me: