wizard-of-defenestration

[wizard-of-defenestration]

Up late transcribing ancient esoteric tomes from long lost languages to unlock banished secrets. Then I shall relay what I have learned to the rest of the realm! Wish I did not have to go to tomes calligraphy classes in the early morn..

[wizard-of-defenestration]

[wizard-of-defenestration]

I have tried to contact my fairy grass dealer by way of orb messenger but they have failed to send correspondence back. How am I meant to write my tomes and scrolls if I’m not flitting gently towards fairy land on a giant purple cloud?

[wizard-of-defenestration]

Where to find hot single wizards?

Oh fuckith this be not Woogle (wizard google)

[wizard-of-defenestration]

I Found A Wizard Game

https://www.crazygames.com/game/wizard-io

I'll introduce you to how far I've gotten in the game.

You play as a little (buff) wizard who has conjured up 5 portals in which he trains for battle. What he's training for is entirely unknown..

When you kill the creatures in the portals you steal their souls and give them to the death guy behind you.

I think you're in love with him, he greets you after battle and is there to send you off. he could be anywhere but he's with you.

Anyway these are your mates, one of them is cracked at old magic and can get you some massive card updates. The other one is half mole half man I mean this guy works like no other. He has to be mining a mile a minute, sometimes he gets blown out of the mine.. HE JUMPS BACK IN.

These are all of your lit potions, I haven't perfected the third one yet. But lemme tell you red and green mix those two together and you'll have the night of your life. Red potion is more for your dates with death, green is that go-go juice.

This is your alter of wisdom where you gain higher knowledge from the beings of light above. Pretty chill spot.

This is your house, the basic observation deck, full kitchen, front room, and single bedroom. I'm forced to assume that your mates sleep in the mines or in a cave in the woods. Death doesn't come to bed, he's always out there, you can see him out of your bedroom window. I wonder which way your bed faces....

[wizard-of-defenestration]

A snack of the wizards

[wizard-of-defenestration]

I must urge my fellow wizards to keep care of your long flowing beards. I have been lacking in my personal hygiene as of recent and it has turned my once glorious mane into a birds nest. I traveled to me barbers but they said I’d be better suited at the dog groomers at this point in time. So off I went to the dog groomers, I will admit they trimmed me up quite nicely and I got my nails clipped. I would like to apologize to the groomers for taking a small bite at them but I thought it was only fitting given my position.

[wizard-of-defenestration]

What does a wizard have to do to get gnome hair these days? Back in my day we could just hobble down to the gnome salon and they'd give you handfuls of the stuff. But now since all of this woke nonsense it's a black market item, just because you can make a heart exploding potion with it doesn't mean that's what I'm doing!

[wizard-of-defenestration]

People I know not of this Alex fellow who says “I possessed him”. All of these accusations, where will it end?

Well I’ll tell you where!

The pavement outside the closest window!

If I hear anymore about this “real man who I poisoned with a tonic then assumed the identity of” I will start casting people’s behinds through the sill!

[wizard-of-defenestration]

Ahh well then, perfenstration it is

BECUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE PENETRATION

Greetings my fellow wizards, mages and druids I be the wizard of defenestrations! I consider myself a sensible man of robe, a potion maker and spell caster. I possess the strongest defenestration spell of all of the land!! Even if ye be on the ground floor I will still send your tookis over the sill! So don’t anger me!

[wizard-of-defenestration]

The duality of the robes we wear…

These pieces are not of my quill nor brush.

Greetings my fellow wizards, mages and druids I be the wizard of defenestrations! I consider myself a sensible man of robe, a potion maker and spell caster. I possess the strongest defenestration spell of all of the land!! Even if ye be on the ground floor I will still send your tookis over the sill! So don’t anger me!

[wizard-of-defenestration]

Pass on that one laddie, I enjoy the jungle juice I’m cooking up in my large unwashed cauldron.

This is your reminder that you should THOROUGHLY wash your cauldrons in between each use. I didn't, and now MY TORSO IS INVISIBLE. It would probably turn visible again soon, though.

[wizard-of-defenestration]

Technically no because it’s defined as “the action of throwing someone through a window” which implies that the person is moving not the window. I do think there should be a word for this specific situation. Maybe “motfenetraion” with the Latin prefix “mot” which means to move,“fenetra” from the the French word for window « fenêtra », and “ion” the Latin root for an action. However one chooses to pronounce that is up to them it’s literally not a real word lmao. Good graces be with you on you quest for knowledge my fellow wizard 🫡.

Greetings my fellow wizards, mages and druids I be the wizard of defenestrations! I consider myself a sensible man of robe, a potion maker and spell caster. I possess the strongest defenestration spell of all of the land!! Even if ye be on the ground floor I will still send your tookis over the sill! So don’t anger me!

[wizard-of-defenestration]

This absolute bumbling non magical imbecile cut me in line at the grocery store today suffice it to say the shop will have to buy a new front window now. He stepped in front of the wrong wizard, I just needed some gin for my fun time potion some people are so inconsiderate.

[wizard-of-defenestration]

You fool it’s secret! No one should be talking about the secret wizard beer that is brewed with berries from the secret field! Hush now before people catch on!!

I really expected the Wizard website to be talking more about Wizard Beer

[wizard-of-defenestration]

Fr! You resurrect one guy from the village graveyard and they throw a fit! How was I to know that he would come back and eat all the neighborhood’s cattle.

Got some new divination tools and suddenly everyone thinks I'm messing with their future. Heaven forbid a wizard every has any fun around here

[wizard-of-defenestration]

I fear that they will try to fill their hunger with the blood of the poor, perhaps a everlasting piss spell would work better!

I feel quite silly, should I cast an Extreme Hunger spell on the CEO of Microsoft and Walmart?