words-from-my-mind - Tumblr blog

[words-from-my-mind]

hello there

hey so uh... anyone want a poem for my return?

[words-from-my-mind]

We’ve torn each other to pieces for the maggots to eat

Stooped down to levels of hell that Dante would be envious of

Roared so loud at each other and the moon that God could hear us

  And yet it still kills me to know you went this low.

  I pray that you’re lying, that you made it all up

But your numb expression and empty eyes drown me in the truth

And suffocate all of my already dying hopes.

  You truly slept with him…

You truly let him use your body…

You truly broke those vows…

  I know I did it first

But at least I didn’t do it with someone you considered family!...

  You went to the one person you knew would hurt me, didn’t you?

You did this so you could punish me for eternity, didn’t you?

You chose to use my card so I’d find it all out when you wanted, didn’t you?

  You’re so cold-hearted and empty

The deathly cold of space will never compare to you!

And yet I still cling to you and pray for warmth, my love

I still look up at you and feel love grow in my heart  

I still pray that you’re lying…

  The cycle of pain and suffering as finally come to an end, hasn’t it?

This is the end of us.

  As you walk out the door,

my world goes mute as my mind races

She’s going to see him

She’s going to do it again

And I’m too heart-broken to stop it…

  I stand in the middle of our home

It’s been a broken home for far too long

I walk to our bedroom and start to pack some bags

  Memories flying through my mind as I walk through the house

Late nights in the kitchen, making snacks…

Binge-watching shows in the living room…

The bedroom on our wedding night…

None of it matters anymore

  I open the trunk of the Audi and toss my bags inside

My hands gripping the door as I slam it shut

I sit in the driver seat and start the car, a blank expression taking over me

  If you want to run to a “real man”… I’ll run to a real woman

  ~pain stains minds, revenge stains hearts

[words-from-my-mind]

If you’re an artist, writer, etc. reblog and put in the tags a specific thing you think you’re very good at and a specific thing you’d like to improve on.

[words-from-my-mind]

They say in Greek mythology that our life’s purpose is to find our soulmate

  Our Twin Flame

  As the story goes, humans used to have 4 arms, 4 legs, and 2 faces

When Zeus saw how we looked, he was terrified

So he split all humans into 2 even pieces, leaving us to wander our entire lives looking for our

other half

  Now, I’m not one for believing in mythology, but I think this story may be somewhat true

Let me tell you why.

  Humans, both mentally and emotionally, were never meant to go through life alone

We are social creatures by default, even those who say they would rather go through life alone

Deep down, even they know they’re lying

  Everyone always dream of having their movie moment

They look across the coffee shop or the bar, seeing the stranger looking at them and

Boom- the sparks start to fly

  I mean, why else would we say “sparks fly” when talking about love unless that describes

2 flames meeting, and becoming 1

  The fire inside all of us represents our desires, our passions, our souls, and our deepest self

And in life, all we want is someone to call our own. Someone who understands it all

And who better to understand us than our long lost other half?

  ~Our love based in mythology          

(P.S. Zeus, you cold son of a bitch…)

[words-from-my-mind]

This feeling will never get old

The wind in my hair

The streetlights illuminating the small town in front of us

The music blaring from our speakers

The smell of weed making my eyes heavy and my smile wide

  This town may hold memories too dark to revisit

But the people who I’ve managed to keep by my side make it all the brighter

  Because I know no matter where life takes me

Across the state lines

Across the time zones

Across the oceans

  I’ll always have a way back home

And a welcome back with open arms

With a feeling that nowhere else can match

    ~meaningless town, meaningful people

[words-from-my-mind]

Dear Seagram,

Life is better now that you’re out of our lives.

Yes, it has gone a tad down hill

         ok, really downhill

But we picked the pieces back up

We put ourselves back together

 Mom found another to slide between her sheets

He was nice enough for a long time

           He cared about Micheal

                   He didn’t push too hard to be let in

                         He truly loved mom for a while

But in the end, like you, he left us

 But, we are putting ourselves back together faster and better than ever

We are becoming us again

     Mom is going out with friends

         Micheal is doing amazing in school

   I got a job to support us

We are building ourselves to be stronger while together and apart

 All because you made us see a pattern we formed in our lives

We would let someone in, show them who we really are, and they would leave

Some because of a fight, others to chase another woman, and you because of the needle

 But we aren’t going to let it happen again

Never again

Because I’ve said it to you once in these letters, and I’ll say it again…

I would live in the lowest pit of hell if it meant my family would be happy

 These words rang true when we were ready to leave you

And they still hold up after you’re long gone

We don’t need anyone to help complete our household…

 That’s what we have each other for.

   ~A letter to the man who loved Seagram 7 more than us

[words-from-my-mind]

My mind races with my thoughts, trying to tell me what to do

Even though it’ll be the hardest thing I ever do

  I don’t feel like we belong together

Yes, when we are together, it’s great

We laugh, love, and mesh well together

  But… there are also the times when we are together that just don’t feel like a couple…

You lay with me, then walk away when the guys beck and call

You fuck me, then you get up and play your games as I lay there, wishing for your touch

  You don’t even know a lot of my hobbies. Hell, you don’t even know I write

  You get pissed when I try to explain these thoughts to you

You say “Sorry” and let it go into silence, you don’t say

“How can I do better? I promise I’ll do better.”

  A relationship isn’t something that can sit in silence and be saved for when you’re happy

We’re supposed to be the same through everything

Yes, we’ll have our bad times, but we need to talk through it, not sit and breath over it

And I know we’ve gone through the break-up before, but maybe it happened for a reason…

   Months later, I tried to make it work, but Life had different plans

You called me bipolar, I called you a high school dropout

We both got our last insults in before we turned our backs

But in the end, you lost

  Why do I say that? Because I would’ve given you anything you ever wanted,

And yet you didn’t care enough to notice

  Honestly, I pray the next girl you find is everything you want

I pray you’re happy with her

I pray you’re a “better man” with her

And I pray she walks away like I should’ve a looooong time ago

  Because you are no man, honey

You are a little boy who doesn’t see the good he has when it’s in front of his face

   ~To my first love, and my first regret

[words-from-my-mind]

It’s 12:14 am

The house should be quiet

besides my music and the hum of a few fans

But I hear something from my mom’s room

  Crying

Sobbing

  My fists clench as I stand in the hallway, hearing the sounds from her room

My mom is crying

And him, his voice laced with a silent anger

“You wanna put the gloves on, bitch?”

“C’mon, I’ll even wrap your hands for you.”

  I know mom would never raise her hand at him like that

But Anger boils and sneers in the front of my mind

“Let me at him. I’ll do it in her stead.”

“No one has the right to make my mom cry like that and then not expect a fight.”

  Logic quickly chimes in, pushing Anger back and making me slow my breathing

“Not now. Money is too tight for bail and mom is already upset. We can’t make it worse.”

  The asshole is lucky that I care more about the cost of bail and my mom’s sanity

over my impulses.

   ~I’ll put the gloves on

[words-from-my-mind]

please

please

please don’t go

  don’t leave me here all alone

at the mercy of this cruel world

I don’t want to be here alone

  you are the light of my life

the sun could not compare to how much you light me up

and without you, I will lose the lifeline that keeps me here

  just hold on a little longer, baby

I know that the other side holds a world only described in books of religion

but I need you here

we need you here with us

  don’t let the light claim you yet

god can take a raincheck as long as you fight

  I can��t watch life go on without you beside me

I can’t feel the embrace of love without you beside me

I can’t live without you beside me

  please don’t go…

  ~waiting room pleas

[words-from-my-mind]

Everyone always says

“I’ll take a bullet for you”

But I don’t think they ever would

  Because I’m not worth the lead

And no one outside of my family would hold their word seriously

  But, I think it’s time to change the phrase as a whole

  Because “I’ll hold you when your heart gets tired” sounds much more poetic and sweet

than finding out that the one who said they would take the bullet for you…

  …is the one holding the gun to your head.

   ~warmth over lead

[words-from-my-mind]

the only way to feel this high

i got to feel with you

the only person who could make my body feel like this

i got to lay with you

  even if it was only for a short while

i still got to feel you

even if the marks on my body have faded

i still got to wake up with them

after all is said and done

i got my night with you

and even if youre no longer in my life

i dont regret the fling we had

  even if it is the only thing that haunts my dreams

even if it means you are simply a ghost on my sheets

  if someone told me to do it all again with the same outcome

i would call you in a heartbeat to relive that high

   ~the high i only got with you

[words-from-my-mind]

My mind is playing a life-altering game of Russian Roulette

  My subconscious loads the gun and sets the gun down on the table

Logic picks it up, the barrel against her temple as she pulls the trigger without hesitation

She lives for another round

Anger snatches the gun up next, his eyes ablaze as he cocks the gun

He’s the first to go

  The gun is reloaded and passed to Love, who’s crying as she feels the metal against her skull

The gun clicks: she’s still breathing

Agony is next, an old veteran who’s seen the game played too many, as she yearns to leave the table…

She gets her wish

  Another reload, another round

Shot after shot; Depression, Joy, Disgust, Rage- they all bite the bullet

Now, only Love and Logic remain

  The Final Duel

  They face each other

Logic holds a blank stare

Love has tears in her eyes

2 sides of the coin that is my mind

  My subconscious loads the final bullet and places the gun down

As she looks at the 2 personifications in front of her

  Logic picks up the gun first, pointing it at Love

“You can’t do this, Logic.”

“I’m trying to save her the pain, Love.”

“You never did that before! Why try it now?!”

“Because we both know how this will end between them.”

  Everything goes silent as Logic pulls the trigger

More silence. No bang.

  Logic sets the gun down, staring straight ahead at Love

Love picks up the gun, the barrel at Logic

“Let her feel this moment. She deserves it.”

  Bang.

  Logic falls dead as Love stands up and walks away from the table

A smile creeps onto her lips as she looks outside at the view through my eyes

She sees my lips on yours, a small smile coming to my lips as a blush reddens my cheeks

Neither Love nor myself care how this will end

All we know is that nothing will compare to this moment

    ~Love won, and so did I

[words-from-my-mind]

we’ve seen each other through it all

but we never crossed the line

we’ve held each other with a warm embrace

but we never held each other with our bare skin

we’ve laughed together for hours on end

but we never moaned each other’s names

  until that night

that night when late night talks of the past came to a head

that night when your hand ventured to the inside of my thigh

that night when your voice was the only thing i wanted to hear

  that moment could’ve lasted forever

your body on top of mine

your hands on my hips

your mouth on my neck

  the line was crossed that night

and i don’t ever want to go back to normal

   ~the lines we cross

[words-from-my-mind]

all i see is her

all i hear is her

her smile, her laugh

she invades my thoughts and haunts my dreams

all of my late nights stemming from my desire for her

  is it wrong of me?

to think the way i do?

  to be held, kissed, and loved by her

is all i dream of now

  but…

life had different plans for us

    ~my late night desire

[words-from-my-mind]

They say the past shapes who you become

I believe in that, 100%

My cocktail of trauma that I call a past

Makes for a peculiar mind in more ways than one

“But how?” you ask

 Well, that’s a story

to see with the lights down low,

to smell with the aroma of sweat and desire,

to feel with the warmth of my skin on yours,

to taste with the silver tongue laced with sweet nothings,

to hear with the quiet moans and praises that fall from our lips

Not everyone ends up like this, but…

I’m not so vanilla in my taste for desire

   ~desires out of trauma

[words-from-my-mind]

You know me so damn well

My eyes

My smile

My mind

My body

My soul

And yet I still get giddy when you read me like an open book

  The way you smiled down at me after I followed a gut feeling

By planting a kiss on your jaw

  I know I was just being hopeful that you would lead me back upstairs

Both of us giggling like idiots as we went to my room

  Slowly peeling back the layers we wore until we felt our own heat

A new emotion taking us both over as we look in each other’s eyes…

    ~Untamed passion

[words-from-my-mind]

You have no idea the time I could give you

If you gave me the chance

  No strings attached

Cancel anytime

As secretive as you want it to be

  I could be your occasional lover

Your nighttime secret

Your bare angel

Your dreams come true

  I would do whatever you wish

Sit on my knees in front of you

Push your face deeper between your thighs

Moan your name for God to hear

Bite my lip and keep quiet

  I would be whatever you want

Your toy

Your mistress

Your brat

Your master

  I can be whatever you wish

Whatever you dream

Whatever you desire

  But, this deal has

One

Simple

Warning

  Once you truly get a taste, be careful

As you may never find satisfaction like this again

  Because just when you think you’ve had enough

The need and desire will creep back in

And you’ll want, need, thirst for more

  As this side of me is hidden in plain sight

And you’ll be pulled back in by a simple gaze

  I may be human

But I can take you to heaven if you let me

  ~heaven in hiding