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Depressed As Fuck

The thing about depression and I, is that I can’t go a full day without feeling it’s presence at some point or another. (Here is where I sing out with a couple lines of Me and My Shadow, because I’ve been 80 years old since I was five.) It’s been like that for a long, long time; and I accepted this as part of my life many years ago. Which may have been a bit defeatist, but it also helped me survive. Still does, I guess.

The thing that’s helped me survive more than anything though, is being able to appreciate moments. I make jokes when I’m crying and lose myself laughing during a ridiculous conversation on even some of my worst days. I’d like to say this is thought out and part of my personal philosophy, but it’s more just how I am, how my personality deals with pain.

Despite the acceptance of depression’s role in my life, I’ve always believed tomorrow could be better. I rarely thought it actually would be better, but this faith that it could be has saved me on many, many dark days. It’s also why on #1, The Graph, there are several upturns along the way, including within the text and at the end. And also why, if I hadn’t cropped them out because I didn’t like the way they ended up, the clouds in the original of #2, The Sinkhole, have touches of silver.

These pieces aren’t meant to be about the dark side of depression, they’re meant to elicit a smile or a chuckle. Maybe you have to be morbid and twisted like I am to see it that way, but my best friends at my worst moments have always been blind optimism and humor. If I’d never learned to laugh at depression, I’m fairly certain it would have killed me by now.

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So as soon as I start talking about how good it is to be doing art with my hands again, I get an idea for a project that’s 100% digital. This is just how my crazy little brain works!  :D

The series is called ‘Shit On It’ (bet you didn’t see that coming) and features some of the things in this world that I believe we would be better off flushing.

I’ve grouped them into sets of three (which is how they’ll be posted. Kind of don’t want the blog to just be a seemingly endless stream of toilets. (..Ain’t I punny?) ):

Make Me a Sandwich (Women’s Issues): Rape Culture; Misogyny; Patriarchy 'Murica (American Culture/Society): Corporatism; Racism; Sexism Chillin’ (Socializing): Expectations; Judgements; Hypocrisy Mirrortime (The Self): Rationalisations; Arrogance; Limits

Many of these will be available as prints and other items on my redbubble account - MEQ on Redbubble.com

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So lately I've been more willing to go where my vision takes me while working on something in photoshop and it's been very fruitful. Also means I end up with a human head instead of the dog I was trying to do, and then do odd things to it. Say hello to Buggin' Bob. Bob be buggin'.

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WE ARE FAILING EACH OTHER - VIDEO Original:  ink, by hand Edited in Photoshop

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WE ARE FAILING EACH OTHER And it's has been true for far too long. Top: Photoshop edit of hand drawn original. Background photos (edited in Photoshop): Upper Middle: L- Ferguson, MO, USA. R- Ukraine Lower Middle: L- USA. R- Aleppo, Syria Bottom: L- Baltimore, MD, USA. R- Asia

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Works in progress from a series of number symbols - ZERO, SIX, TEN.

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Player posters for Mass United FC Pro. Original Photos by James Henderson. 100% by crook in Photoshop.

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Game Poster for Mass United FC Pro vs. New Hampshire Bobcats on 6/18/16. Looking forward to doing many more of these. I have a special something in mind for this season. 100% by hook.

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Logo for Albania United SC of the Massachusetts State Soccer League. 100% by crook

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Logo for New England FC of the American Soccer League. Returning to play in 2017! 100% by crook (digital). The logo is turned at a 45 degree angle to always point to the northeast and New England. Towards home. The six-pointed star represents the 6 New England states and is featured in the logo of New England Pro Soccer (post coming soon), the parent company of NEFC, Mass United FC, and New Hampshire Bobcats.

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Little late posting this, but here’s my latest for Soccer Newsday titled The Susurration of the Soccer Alchemist. Born of a “homework assignment” from my co-host Nyla Alisia on the SpeakEasy Cafe and inspired by the amazing feats (get it?) of the game’s most legendary players.

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"God forbid we should ever be twenty years without such a rebellion. The people cannot be all, and always, well informed. The part which is wrong will be discontented, in proportion to the importance of the facts they misconceive. If they remain quiet under such misconceptions, it is lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty. ... And what country can preserve its liberties, if its rulers are not warned from time to time, that this people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to the facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure." November 13, 1787, a letter from Thomas Jefferson to William S. Smith, quoted in Padover's Jefferson On Democracy, ed., 1939

I'm just sayin...

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Just thought I'd share this little gem from the Monsanto plastics division, circa 1957, with you all.

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Covering France, England, Italy, and Spain

You didn't really think I'd let the World Cup go by without having something to say, did you? The Poetic Game on Soccer Newsday Brought to you by America SCORES Boston!

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The Janet (.gif)

This was inspired by nearly 20 years of two human beings trying to share a bed night after night. My wife, Janet, is a very light sleeper while I am a very heavy sleeper. Sorry baby.   <3

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Let the beauty of what you love be what you do.

Rumi (1207-1273, Persian)

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Taken 4/16/14 at Boston Poetry Slam at the Cantab Lounge, Cambridge, MA.