wovenwordsblog

[wovenwordsblog]

I’ve never been called pretty— not by boys, not by friends, not even by my own family.

I’ve never been the top of my class, but I’ve never been dumb. Never the sidekick, but never the leader either.

I’ve been noticed, but never seen.

I’ve had friends, but never a best friend. People to laugh with, but no one to cry to.

I’ve always had the passion to do something big, but what if I don’t have the talent?

I’ve always wanted to change the world, but what if I don’t have the voice?

I’ve always just blended in, a shadow in the background, while my prettier, smarter friend got everything I wanted.

[wovenwordsblog]

I wish I could tell my younger self that she didn’t have to get everything right. She wasn’t the straight-A student, the favorite child, the perfect friend.

she wasn’t chosen— not by boys, not by friends, not by the world. They picked the girl who glowed in rooms, the one whose smile filled every space, whose words always felt like the answer.

She was beautiful, perfect— everything I wanted to be. But I was loud and too much, so I learned to shrink myself.

In high school, I stole my mom’s makeup, hoping it would hide the ugliness inside.

Now, I have everything she wanted— the grades, the friends— but I can’t leave the house without makeup, fearing that someone might see the girl I’ve spent years hiding.

When I look in the mirror, I see someone I barely recognize— the girl who was once too much now trying to fit into a mold that never felt right.

She spoke the wrong words because once, I wasn’t afraid to be myself.

I wish I could tell her to keep laughing, to never shrink, to let no one decide her worth. But I can’t, no matter how much I wish I could.

Now, I stand in front of the mirror, wondering what my future self will say. Too scared to move forward, too far from who I once was to go back.

[wovenwordsblog]

To My Ex-Best Friend

I was on my phone the other day, when I saw a picture of you. There was a time when I could’ve easily looked at that photo and said I knew everything about you. Yet today, when I saw you smiling with people I didn’t know, I realized I was looking at a stranger.

I realized I could no longer tell what was on your mind with just one look. You no longer told me about your day, and we’ve started to rarely talk. We both have new people in our lives now, but sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can still see us sitting at our old table, thinking nothing could ever tear us apart.

That was a long time ago. Everyone says I should be over it by now, but I’m not. I know that if you could see me now, you’d be proud of me, but I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts.

I never realized how much I relied on you until you left. You gave me my confidence, and though I swore I wouldn’t get attached, you made me feel alive in the best way possible.

Now, day by day, we grow further apart. Eventually, maybe you’ll forget about me, but I’ll never forget about you.