writtenonreceipts - Tumblr blog

[writtenonreceipts]

lol. as soon as i think i can come back yall

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slumber (with hermione’s two gingers)

[writtenonreceipts]

I knew as soon as I saw "Backslide" as a song title that it would speak to me. I knew immediately it was a song I would connect to and I would need it. And I was right.

The thing about backslide is that I have been there. I am there now. Even though, as of late, I have been doing so much better: I'm singing in the car, dancing in the kitchen, getting up in the morning earlier so I can actually wear make-up and put effort into my appearance. I am doing better. But there is that inevitable truth that I could slip up, I could backslide and fall into old habits.

And it feels like drowning. It feels like wading in water. It feels like you're trying to reach for something to hold on to to keep afloat.

And with that is the fear of not being able to shake it again, not being able to brush aside the sorrow and sadness. Because what if? What if this time it's too much and you're waiting for some sort of help and it doesn't come. That pull to fall beneath the tide is so heavy and easy to give into. It's so heavy that when it comes, I'll cling to anything, anything I can that might help me pull up, pull out even with that small truth that failure is inevitable and I cannot save myself.

And...I don't want to backslide and find myself in that place again. It's scary, its hard, and even our best intentions laid in desperation aren't enough to save us.

And that's what backsliding is. It's the constant fear of not being strong enough. The disappointment of not being good enough. It's inevitable, isn't it? That reality of slipping further beneath the surface.

This song, so many twenty one pilots songs, just speak so honestly to what mental health is. And my journey with my own depression and anxiety is so lonely. I live in that fear of being a disappointment. I can't express myself in reaching out and simply saying: I can't do this anymore. That thing I accomplished that I was so proud of? It's only me that cares. No one knows how hard I am trying and the amount of effort I've put into something. And then I get torn down again and washed away in the unyielding tide that will come again.

[writtenonreceipts]

[writtenonreceipts]

Twenty One Pilots - Next Semester (Official Video)

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Hey, kid, get out of the road!

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"Kinda wishin' that I never did Saturday" - Backslide (twenty one pilots)

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no i will not shut up about backslide.

or clancy or top

unfollow me when may 24th comes around

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are we gonna have to remake this meme for every song on clancy or?

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'Cause I feel the pull, water's over my head Strength enough for one morе time Reach my hand above thе tide I'll take anything you have If you could throw me a line I should have loved you better Do you think that now's the time You should let go?

[writtenonreceipts]

Ok yeah sure maybe "I wish I never did Saturday" is Tyler regretting the SAI album OR. AND HEAR ME OUT. It's Clancy wishing he had never been held captive and forced to make a propaganda album because it must have ruined a lot of the hard work the Bandito rebellion did in Dema 😌

[writtenonreceipts]

Backslide | Chlorine | Choker | Stressed Out (ERS)

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backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide backslide BACKSLIDE

[writtenonreceipts]

A little birthday present for my wonderful friend @moonlight-breeze-44

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poor mark.

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can't change what you've done? no problem! start fresh next semester!