wu-sisyphus-gang - Tumblr blog

[wu-sisyphus-gang]

Happy Valentine’s Day~!! patreon | twitter

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it’s october folks, remember to keep warm

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Ruby: Jaune unironically called me a good girl and... I think you guys were right. Sploosh.

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Cloud: I just don’t feel like relying on my friends. It makes me feel week.

Therapist: You know who else relied on their friends?

*they both look at her giant poster of Aragorn*

Therapist: Are you calling Aragorn son of Arathorn weak?

Cloud: *fighting back sobs* N-no.

Therapist: *slides over a box of tissues*

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Tifa: You’re not vibing.

Cloud:…

Tifa: You have untreated mental illness.

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Yang: Do you listen to old rock?

Jaune: No. My relationship with my dad is awful. Thanks for asking.

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Jaune: I hate you so much I think it’s going to kill me.

Weiss: Who are you talking to?

Jaune: Me.

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Jaune: My wife is having a baby.

Colleague: Do you know what it is?

Jaune: It’s a person but smaller.

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Ruby: Would you let any one else talk to you the way you talk to you?

Jaune: You know I would.

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Never Say No To Ruby...

Ruby: Hey Jaune you want to do some cool things with me? 😋

Jaune: No thank you Ruby. I'm good.

*Ruby leans in closer to Jaune so she can whisper something to him. *

Ruby: I can pin you down right now... 😌

Jaune: W-what?

Ruby: No one can stop me. You can't stop me.

I can have an alibi in half a second.

Do you know how fast I can run, Jaune? 😊

Jaune: W-why don't you do that to Oscar instead?

Ruby: Gross.... 🙁

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Yang: Hey sis, I thought you like keeping your hair down

Ruby with a ponytail: Yeah but I wanna try something different and plus IwannagiveJaunesomethingtopullon

Yang: What?

Ruby: What?

ADD MORE TO THIS IF YOU WANT!

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Ruby: We've all heard of top or bottom, but what about middle?

Jaune: ?

Pyrrha: ?!

Ruby: Hi, I can't breathe, but you two seem REALLY cool~!

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Jaune: *looking at Blake and Yang* I want what they have.

Ruby/Weiss: Okay-

Ruby/Weiss: DIBS!

Ruby/Weiss: DOUBLE DIBS! TRIPLE DIBS! QUADRUPLE-

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New year, new experiences

Ruby: You know Jaune, this year you should try new things.

Jaune: You’re right. I should try that climbing school down the road.

Ruby: Well, I was thinking something different.

Jaune: Like what?

Ruby: Maybe… *gets closer* you can try… *hugs his arm* me?~💕

Jaune:…

Ruby:…

Jaune:…

Ruby: *serious* Answer me or I’m going to kick your butt.

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Family

Yang: So... You and Jaune, huh?

Ruby: Yeah..? What about it?

Yang: I'm just saying... Blond hair, blue eyes, emotionally troubled. Kinda sounds like Dad, doesn't it?

Ruby: ...Okay. We're doing this, huh? What about you and Blake?

Yang: What about me and Blake? Blake's nothing like Mom.

Ruby: Which one? Do you mean Mom Mom, or do you mean the Feudal Mistral looking, dark-haired woman who abandoned her team for "personal reasons" AND has ties to a violent, anti-government group?

Yang: ...

Ruby: Yeah. That's what I thought.

**********************************************

Meanwhile...

Jaune: What do you think our girlfriends are doing?

Blake: Probably sibling things.

Jaune: ...Okay, I need you to be a little more specific with what you mean by that. Because in my experience, sibling things means-

**********************************************

Meanwhile Meanwhile...

Yang: (Ruby in a headlock) TAKE IT BACK!

Ruby: (Pulling Yang's hair) YOU FIRST!

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Tifa and Aerith: *showing Cloud affection*

Cloud: Is this a fucking trap?

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Jaune: You know what's funny because it's cruel and humiliating?

Ruby: No...

Jaune: The gods making me suicidally depressed then too scared of dying to go through with it. Maybe I'll get lucky and a Grimm or an agent of Salem will kill me.

Ruby: I want you to stop and think about how bad your death would hurt me.

Jaune:

Ruby: You joke about it and it's really not funny. I love you.

Jaune: You deserve better than me Rubes.

Ruby: There aren't guys better than you Jaune.

Jaune: Have you considered being attracted to girls then?

Ruby: You know I'm Demi.

Jaune: What about Weiss? You're close and have good chemistry.

Ruby: It would hurt me very badly if I never got to taste your aura again. Stop and think!