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Attachment Styles in Relationships

Attachment styles are the ways people feel and act in relationships, based on their early experiences with parent or guardian. There are four main types:

Secure Attachment:

Healthy: Feeling comfortable with your partner and being able to share your feelings and needs openly. Trusting them and supporting each other without feeling overly worried about the relationship.

Unhealthy: Becoming overly dependent on your partner, feeling anxious or upset if they spend time away, or constantly seeking reassurance and validation.

Anxious Attachment:

Healthy: Expressing your emotions and needs to your partner, and valuing emotional closeness. Feeling secure when your partner reassures you and staying connected during difficult times.

Unhealthy: Constantly worrying about your partner leaving you, feeling jealous and possessive, or becoming too clingy and demanding in the relationship.

Avoidant Attachment:

Healthy: Valuing your independence and personal space while still being supportive and caring toward your partner. Understanding your emotions and expressing them in a balanced way.

Unhealthy: Pushing your partner away emotionally, avoiding discussions about feelings or conflicts, or being emotionally distant and unavailable.

Disorganized Attachment:

Healthy: Recognizing and addressing past traumas, working on building trust and emotional stability.

Unhealthy: Reacting impulsively or unpredictably in relationships due to unresolved traumas, struggling with forming and maintaining deep emotional connections, or experiencing extreme emotional highs and lows.

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If you hang out with a…

Disciplined person, you’ll start respecting structure

Insecure person, you’ll start second-guessing yourself

Adventurous person, you’ll crave new experiences

Victim minded person, you’ll start blaming instead of growing

Abundant person, you’ll stop thinking in limits

Jealous person, you’ll start resenting your blessings

High value woman, you’ll raise your standards without apologo

Chaotic person, you’ll feel like peace is boring

Healed person, you’ll see how emotionally mature life can be

Procrastinator, you’ll normalize delay over progress

Ambitious person, you’ll start dreaming bigger

Judgmental person, you’ll fear being fully yourself

Playful person, you’ll learn to soften and enjoy the moment

Energy is contagious

Habits are contagious

Mindsets are contagious

Doesn’t matter how x you think you are because if you were, you wouldn’t make decisions or choose people that don’t align

You become who you’re around even when you don’t notice it

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Btw it takes only 3-4 days for a new environment or person in your life to start influencing your thoughts, mindset and habits

3–4 days: Emotional/mental influence starts

7–10 days: You start mirroring language, mood, or energy

21+ days: Habits and deeper mindset shifts start embedding

66 days (on average): A new behavior becomes automatic

Choose wisely what (and who) you let around your nervous system

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your biggest enemy is your uncontrolled mind

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win in private. lose in private. love in private. live in private. people can’t ruin what they don’t know.

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i want to shake many young women and say you can grow in private. and what i mean by that is that you don’t have to publicly self-flagellate when you don’t know something or when you say something a little insensitive or whatever else. you don’t have to report your Bad Thoughts and Ignorance to the crowd who waits to judge you. you do not have to pay penance. you do not have to issue public statements. nothing more is gained from burying yourself in shame than you could gain by thinking “oh i don’t know about this” and looking it up real quick, or thinking “hm, that wasn’t how i want to behave, i’ll do different next time” and then moving on with your life. no need to choke yourself with it.

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