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💀🪽👍

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For too long, ive been so hard on myself~ constantly overthinking, overworking, over-indulging. . . Forcing myself, neglecting self-care

At the same time I feel so weak~ i know the bed is an escape where i hope to fall asleep and sink into depression. And ive cried many nights and days away. But i dont want that to be~ i want to enjoy life and the small moments, stop being so hard on myself in work and in everyday. Know that starting is enough and that i am my number 1 priority. My wellness and happiness is key. I help others by being radiant and happy with myself.

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poem tag by Morgan Ritter

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Do what makes me happy~ ヾ(＾-＾)ノ

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平成のインデックスメモ帳

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genuine confidence vs fake confidence ⊹˚. 👛💬🐧

there is an individual meaning to everything. confidence is one of those things that is so commonly misinterpreted as something painfully contrasting to its actual meaning, and so it is my job to enlighten you guys! and teach what the meaning of true, real confidence, truly, really, is, and how to embody it ♡ 💬🐧🩷

──★ ˙ ̟💭👛 confidence

the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 I. WHAT IS GENUINE CONFIDENCE?

a genuinely confident person...

does not feel the need to broadcast their winnings and achievements. they know that they mean something and they don't need the approval of another to prove that.

does not need the approval of another, full stop. whether its to do something, say something, whatever. sure, maybe they'll ask for it here and there, but they dont need it. they can just as easily do it themselves. its an addition, not a necessity.

can take constructive criticism, because they know themselves and their self image and ego isnt so fragile that they cant handle the slightest bit of prodding and poking at it here and there to mold it into something better. they know its for the best.

can accept their flaws, because they trust and rely on themselves enough to know that it doesn't define them and that they can accept and work on those flaws and mistakes.

knowing change is for the better, no matter what. if you genuinely can rely on yourself, then you will know that no matter what, you will always come out okay, because you have faith in yourself. any change that undergoes your life is always for the best because you have faith in yourself and your life.

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 II. WHAT IS FAKE CONFIDENCE?

incessant bragging. as someone with a good amount of confidence in themselves, i LOVE to brag every so often, but constantly talking about it? no.

exaggerating your wins. a truly confident person knows that they win enough to not need exaggeration.

lying about your achievements. if you're confident in yourself, you are confident in your life and your pride and your achievements, so you'd have no reason to lie.

being overly defensive when challenged. cuz why are you so desperate to defend yourself if you're confident that you're right?

inability to admit your own mistakes. this is soo widespread and it bothers me so badly because confident people understand their own mind and know how to control it, which means they also know that mistakes are vital in life, no matter how big or how small.

putting others down to lift yourself up. ew ew ew ew ew all over. a genuinely confident person knows their own worth isn't more than another's.

⊹˚. 🧸 "fake it till you make it" – true or false?

i see many conflicting opinions on whether or not faking confidence can be detrimental to you and / or others or not. honestly, i believe things like this always depend on the person, but i do overall believe in the "fake it till you make it" to an extent. too much of anything is bad for you, and this is just one of those things that you need to be careful with if you tend to get carried away easily.

— not overtly bad, but should not be your only solution! 💬🐈‍⬛️

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 III. HOW TO OBTAIN GENUINE CONFIDENCE?

⊹˚. 💬🧁 1. "faith"

to have faith in something is to have complete trust in that thing. and how is trust built? through experience. think about it. you dont trust something unless you have reason to. why would you have faith in yourself if you have no reason to?

make a sort of portfolio of all the things you can remember that you've done in your life that are worthy of your trust and respect. think of how you'd react if someone else that you love did it. would you trust them for it? apply that to yourself.

🎀🗒 note: this is a method used in many of tam kaur's videos on youtube! i rly recommend her if ur looking 4 confidence.

⊹˚. 🐈‍⬛️💭 2. "rely"

linking back to my former point, to rely on something takes trust and faith. with your newfound knowledge and experience of trust in yourself, you're gonna have to take a leap of faith and trust in your own ability to adapt and survive through ANYTHING. you can withstand everything that is thrown at you. you just need to begin believing that.

⊹˚. 🎀🐧 3. "belief"

your brain does not know reality from what you tell it. this is the very base of so many different mindset shifting techniques and self improvement tactics and such. you literally have to indoctrinate yourself with the belief that you are confident and secure in yourself in a variety of different ways. this can be done through... ♡

♡ make it clear what you want to be confident in, whether its all encompassing or specific

♡ affirmations if thats what ur into

♡ constant saturation & repetition (every day, until you believe it)

♡ create reasons for your belief in your own confidence

♡ go out and create reasons to be confident in yourself

♡ seek out information that aligns with your confidence building (this could be articles, therapy, courses, videos, blog posts like mine; anything that helps YOU)

⊹˚. 💭🎼 4. effect vs goal

confidence is an effect, not a goal.

it is not a sole ideal or ambition you work towards, it is a byproduct of the process of healing as a whole.

what i mean is that you will never obtain genuine confidence if you do not begin to go through the process of healing yourself to begin with, because confidence is a byproduct of this. the security you find in yourself then produces confidence on its own. DO THE WORK.

⊹˚. 👛🧁 5. acting on it

i have been shy and quiet ever since i got into NURSERY (kindergarten for u american folk). i am now one of the most confident people i know. and despite having done all of the previous steps, none of them would have mattered IF I DIDNT PUT IT INTO ACTION.

the most important step you can possibly take to obtain genuine confidence is actually doing the thing. DO THE THING. wear the thing you're scared to wear, do the thing you have no one to go with, go outside alone on spontaneous adventures despite your fear of other peoples opinions and whatever else might be hindering you. DO THE THING. life is nothing if not a risk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♡

wishing you all the love and light in the world... ♡

all my love! 🎀💬🐈‍⬛️🫶🏻🩷

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the relationship between fashion and confidence⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍦💕

fashion is so much more than just the clothes that you choose to wear. fashion speaks volumes about who you are, and is such an important tool for self expression and confidence. when u embrace ur own style it can totally change the way that you feel about yourself…💬🎀

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF DRESSING WELL ;

enclothed cognition is the influence that what you’re wearing has on your mind and how it processes. it’s actually quite interesting and was so fun to research about but here’s what i found in relations to our topic today…💬🎀

when your wearing something that makes you feel beautiful and feminine and put together, your brain actually starts to align with that emotion. studies show that what u wear has a big influence on ur mood, and cognitive performance. (for example, the white lab coat study) the pieces you wear can enhance feelings of self-love and confidence. so next time ur getting dressed, dress based on how you wanna feel. fashion is more than just a reflection of who you are but what you want to bring into the world.

when you invest in quality materials and clothing, not only do your clothes last longer but they look better. the way the fabric rests on your body, the way that the tiny little details of the piece your wearing contribute to a polished barbie doll esque look. invest in luxurious fabrics like silk, cashmere, structured wool to not only feel amazing against your skin, but your clothes will fit you better -> making you look better -> making you FEEL better.

beyond just the aesthetic of things, having quality pieces in ur wardrobe makes sure that your closet is timeless and you’ll always have go to items that make you confident and cute 💋 when you invest in yourself through fashion, your communicating that you value yourself.

dressing up and getting ready everyday sets you up for success! when u look good, you feel good and you DO good. waking up a little earlier before the day of ur test so u can have time to do your makeup can help give you that extra confidence. you perform better when you feel good. also when you stay ready you won’t ever have to worry about scrambling to get ready. having a standard that you hold yourself to is important.

SELF EXPRESSION ;

express yourself! don’t tie yourself down to one “aesthetic” or style. experiment with different layers, textures, outlines etc. i really recommend documenting your fashion experimentation in a fashion journal that is suited to you and your preferences 📔🎀 after experimenting and exposing yourself to different fashion styles you’ll find one that resonates with you and this can help you to feel authentically yourself! you’ll feel so in tune with yourself when you dress according to your own style.

we went over in the previous sections how fashion inherently exudes confidence. and there are lots of examples of this! one of my favorite examples is kimora lee simmons. her founding babyphat, blending luxury and street wear was SO unique and SO her. another really good example is donatella versace. when she took over the brand she transformed it and gave it so much GLAMOUR. it’s so sensual and so powerful and so HER.

WARDROBE INFLUENCES OPPORTUNITIES ;

hotties with a passion for fashion know that it’s a tool to get the opportunities you want. dressing with intention influences the way that others perceive you (and as we’ve talked about, even how YOU perceive you) the rush of confidence u get when you hear your heels clicking on a marble floor, or the confidence you get when wearing a structured blazer mini skirt combo, makes you feel powerful. people are naturally drawn to those who look put together because it signals self-assurance and attention to detail.

CONCLUSION ;

therefore fashion is such a powerful tool in cultivating your confidence, self expression and ur girliness. embrace ur own style and observe how much your confidence improves! 🐩🎀

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confessions of a teenage it girl⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍪🎀

im honey, and these are confessions of a teenage it girl...💬🎀 being THEE hyper feminine doll is more than just a self imposed title to me, its a lifestyle. its the knowing that the world is my runway and im the muse 🌟 in this post i'll be giving my confessions

CONFESSION #1 I TAKE MY "AESTHETIC" VERY SERIOUSLY ;

i never just wake up and throw something on (or i try not to at least) i try and make it a point to doll myself up everyday to some extent even if im not going anywhere. this includes wearing a cute outfit everyday, doing my hair and makeup etc. outfits are planned in advance and curated in my fashion binder, my day is already planned on my notion and ALL of that. im always doing touch-ups in class or on the go so in my purse i always carry my warm cream perfume oil from prty grl beauty, and my bedazzled heart shaped compact mirror and dior lip oil to blow expensive kisses 💋.

CONFESSION #2 THE MENTALITY IS THE REAL TEA ;

underneath all the glitz and glam, all i've got is me so i take care of me. i practice law of assumption so im always keeping my thoughts in check and manifesting the lifestyle i love to live so much 🌟 i meditate to regulate my nervous system, my self care game is TOP tier. i walk my signature doll-walk, cuz the world is my oyster and i KNOW it. every moment is an opportunity to exude fabulosity, confidence, and girliness. even if i’m running on an iced matcha and self concept thoughts on loop in my head. the key is being self CENTERED. one of my favorite quotes is from nicki minaj where she advises all the barbz to step their cookies up (AKA take care of you and your business first)

CONFESSION #3 RETAIL THERAPY IS MY SPORT ;

dont get me wrong, i LOVE to do pilates, weight train, go on walks. all of that is super fun, but my realll sport, is RETAIL therapy. i take it VERY seriously. curating my dream wardrobe one purchase at a time is just such a DREAM whether i do it from my phone or in person. i even have a post-shopping ritual. after shopping i post all my shopping hauls on twitter! 👛. but i've shopped so much im ACTUALLY an expert. a sale, HATES to see me coming bcuz i just cant resist.

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Carrd update

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sneak peek ⟡₊⋆

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This was mostly for Instagram as I've always felt much more comfortable on Tumblr, whether I'm on or off-topic, but I figured it's good to post it here too just as an update on what's been going on with me! I'm slowly getting back on track with things, I'll do more varied posting here too now I think :')

Plain text version under the read more:

Hi! Long time no see! Apologies for the sudden radio silence. I needed a long overdue break from social media. The truth is that I've been struggling with severe burnout for the last couple of years now. Between failed projects, changes in social media, and health issues, I've sadly developed a really negative and unhealthy outlook towards myself and my work, and I got really stuck in that mindset for a long time. Recently I heard a quote that was very fitting for what's been going on with me: "Don't start cleaning until you understand the mess." That is what I've been trying to do! I've been thinking and overthinking how I want to move forward with Moonlume, trying to understand those negative feelings and where they come from, and maybe, just maybe, I've found a path that I'm comfortable with. I'd like to delve into some of these topics with you, so read on if you're curious! Changes are coming!

SOCIAL MEDIA

I've been "in a relationship" with social media since I was about 15. I used to love it. I'm 30 now, and I've been trying to understand what made me so negative about it nowadays; not the parts I can't control, (algorithms, scams, AI, ads...) but my own presence and interaction with it. In hindsight, I should have realised what the main problem was sooner... When I was younger, the blogs I remember having a fun time running used to mostly be about what other people have made, and the things I enjoyed. I've been a small biz girlie since I was 16 (I used to run @FrozenCrafts before this! :D) but I've never liked being in a position where I only share my own work and nothing else. It's too much spotlight for me, too much pressure, especially with social media requiring consistency nowadays. I've always been an anxious, introverted person, and I now realise that this spotlight has been eating away at me. (Which is odd to say as someone who runs a small biz, I know.) I started getting even more anxious when, due to multiple reasons (more on that later) my output of new art really dropped off. Even though I've been working on Moonlume this whole time in the quiet background, I had very few new things to show for it. I couldn't help but compare myself to artists I really respect and look up to, who make new things every month, every week, and yes of course comparing yourself to others is a recipe for disaster, but... we all do it to some extent.

(And I definitely went overboard. At my lowest, I voiced some really awful things about both myself and my work...) Over time, the anxiety and frustration with myself got so bad that I couldn't stomach doing anything creative for a while, and eventually, I stopped all social media activity entirely. People say that burnout catches up to you and what do you know - the people are right... So... What's the solution here? Again, in hindsight, this should have dawned on me sooner. I've put myself in a cage just because "well that's how I've seen other people do it". And I'm sure many people will agree with the idea that a shop/smallbiz/brand account should just be about the brand! I totally get it! But I've realised that's not for me. From this day forward, I'd like to work towards making the Moonlume social media spaces be about everything cute, colourful and fun. I'd like to create an environment where it's not just about "Moonlume the art and products", but a place for everything that has inspired me, a place where I can share my favourite video games and artists with you, a place that isn't just a spotlight for me, but a spotlight for everything and everyone that made me fall in love with the cute and colourful aesthetics of this world. And I'd like to try and just have fun with social media again! It's been so long since I've been genuinely excited about making posts, yet here I am thinking "ohh I should take cute colourful layout pictures of my old 3DS and ask people if they're still using theirs!!". It is so relieving to feel excited again. Even typing this out feels like a rock being lifted from my heart.

And don't worry - the heart and soul of Moonlume is not going away. The colour explosion you see on my profile? That won't be changing! That is the vibe I'm going to keep here. Just with more variety, and less pressure on myself :)

HEALTH ISSUES

I mentioned that there are multiple reasons why I've become incredibly slow at releasing new designs. One of those is that I'm genuinely swamped with work all the time - running Moonlume is 95% emails, admin, customer service, etc. (I've been stuck in a "too much work for one person, not enough work + income for two people" stage for a long time now and I'm still trying to figure that one out.) I may not have much new creative work to show for it, but I DO have quite a few announcements to make soon! Opportunities for art I've already made kept coming up, so I've been prioritising those. The main reason, however... My joints. Ohh, my fail joints... For the last 3-4 years my wrist has been declining, or at least I thought it's just my wrist - it may be all my joints. Getting any answers from doctors as a "totally healthy" 30 year old has been frustrating - I still don't know what's wrong, scans have been booked and then lost, "oh just do stretches", "just wear a brace", "just need to rest". I listened to their generic advice at first, but considering that my hand was in pain almost all day yesterday, without me doing anything, I don't think rest is gonna save me here :/ All I can do is continue bugging them until they give me some answers. Until then... I have to work around my joints screaming at me. All this hit me really hard, because over the last couple of years, I've been trying to accept that I will no longer be able to draw the way I used to. Which sucks. I learned to do something I'm happy with and now I can't do it anymore. The work I used to make is just too detailed for me to tackle now - every set of designs would take about 4-5 days of intense drawing, and, apparently, I've also been holding the pen wrong since childhood which put extra strain on my wrist?? I've tried to unlearn this and couldn't... Holding a pen any other way is alien to me lol. But yep, that checks out - sometimes even writing grocery lists gets painful towards the end of the list, which takes like 5min. Or, sometimes, lifting a mug "wrong" sends lightning through my whole hand. So... How can I move forward with this? I doubt my joints are going to get any better, but I still want to continue running Moonlume. Besides using old designs for new products (not very exciting, I know, but people want them and that has helped so much - we are saving up for a family and I'm thankful for any income I can get!), creatively, I think I'd like to start calling myself less of an illustrator, and more of a product/stationery designer? A mouse doesn't strain my hand as much, depending on the day anyway, and I've been able to release at least something new with simple shapes recently - like my “You can never have too many stickers” sticker book! I'm really glad it's been well received, I've just gotten a second batch of these books in, it made me hopeful that there could still be a future for me in the world of stationery if I just change things up. Yes, I will forever be sad that I can no longer tackle the dreamy, detailed designs anymore. I had a lot of sketches and ideas ready to go, I had goals and skills I wanted to reach for... But I've been grieving this for way too long now and I want to learn to let go and move on.

FINAL THOUGHTS

So... Yeah. Everything I've just said, that cocktail of emotions and problems, it was really affecting my mental health over the last few years. I've been stuck in an endless cycle of disappointment in myself. The shame over not doing enough, not making new things fast enough, or as interesting/meaningful as other people, on top of struggling to let go of past failures and getting frustrated with joint problems... all that made me develop some really messy feelings towards both myself and my work. There were points where I was fantasising about burning it all down just to have a fresh start. It was bad :( BUT! With a clearer head and armed with perspective from people I love, I can say this: I AM proud of what I've made so far! I no longer look at my work and loathe it like I did for a while. Looking back, damn, that was a super unhealthy perspective and I'm glad I can recognise it now. And even though, thanks to my fail joints, I'm no longer able to make things the way I used to... I'm learning to accept this and I'm looking forward to the future. I'm excited to talk more about things I love, excited to make the Moonlume social media space be more varied and give it a breath of fresh air! Posting about my work/products all the time also left very little room for discussion and chatting with you guys, and I miss the feeling of community, so I'm excited to make this a livelier space! That doesn't mean that the art part of Moonlume is going anywhere - it's still my beloved little shop, and I'll still be making things for (hopefully!!) many years to come, just at a slower, much more comfortable and sustainable pace. ♥

Thank you so much for reading this and hearing me out. The support I've received from everyone here over the last 8 years has been genuinely invaluable - my head spins daily from the thought that my little creations have had the chance to travel the whole world thanks to you... It's truly magical. I hope that with this new chapter I can reconnect with the community once more, and move on to a brighter future! Love you all! ♥

Maple

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GangYoung*°:⋆ₓₒ

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Agreeable docile asian girl = ok

Asian girl who calls out your racist microagressions and says hell no = a problem

凸( ^_^ )凸