xirlostheparadox

[xirlostheparadox]

((Man. Every time I consider coming back to this community and trying to get my RP blog back up and running I realise I have no idea where to start and often end up giving up. It's been over two years, I have much, much less time on my hands and my writing is so different from what it was. I miss this community, I really do, but I don't know how I'd fit into it anymore.

I'm glad it's all still here, of course, for better or worse (not all my RPs were that great and my character's name is literally my username for a lot of things) but even so, what do I do with it beyond just reminisce?

What should I do?))

[xirlostheparadox]

((Also! The fact that there’s no longer a “Dark” elemental type in Elden Ring means that Xirlos is no longer a Quality-Dark build. The elements scale VERY differently in this game, so I had to come up with something else – which, ironically enough, is actually more accurate to his personality.

Sorcery is associated with Astrologers in Elden Ring, and all the main sorcery is based on Stars, or some kind of celestial influence. This is perfect for Xirlos, who canonically started off as an Astronomer who discovered Lifedrain from the Void of space. So, naturally, he is now a Quality-Magic build, with his highest stat actually being Intelligence now, with a lot of spells at his disposal on top of his ridiculous swordsmanship.

Everything is falling into place. I just need to complete the first playthrough to move on to NG+ to make it feel more authentic.

WHICH MIGHT TAKE A WHILE.))

[xirlostheparadox]

((I just spent a few hours trying to find then kill a pair of field bosses just to get a specific armour set for Xirlos and...

It sucks.

Xirlos seems to be stuck in Light-Medium Armour this time around, lads. What the fuck.))

[xirlostheparadox]

((I’m getting close to having Xirlos where I want him, build-wise, but so far I don’t quite have his armour yet.

Yes, Fashion is what’s delaying my RP return.

You know me.))

[xirlostheparadox]

((SO ELDEN RING IS WILD AS SHIT.

ELDEN RING VERSION XIRLOS POTENTIALLY INBOUND.))

[xirlostheparadox]

((Xirlos is on his way to Elden Ring...when I can afford the fucking game and start playing it. Gotta work out hat Elden Bling he’ll end up wearing and using.))

[xirlostheparadox]

@eliteknightcats​

[xirlostheparadox]

((Did I mention I have a YouTube channel I’ve been working on?))

[xirlostheparadox]

Send me “Sinful Thoughts” + one of your muses and I’ll share a lewd scenario involving them.

[xirlostheparadox]

Xirlos stared at her, expressionless, for a few seconds. The silence broken only by the hum of the Dark aura around him.

Suddenly, he put his hand on Zinder’s chest and pushed her backwards, causing her to topple onto her back on the bed. At the same time, two new cuffs appeared on her ankles, connected to Dark chains anchored to the bed head. The result was Zinder on her back, legs spread wide and to the side, in such a way that her pussy and ass were exposed and lifted off of the surface of the bed. Usually, Xirlos wouldn’t hesitate to pummel her in this anvil position, but now he instead stood at the end of the bed, looking down on her with a dismissive sigh.

“Since you seem so eager, it would seem I don’t need to be so thorough with my introduction. This is the position you’ll be in when I break your mind and turn you into a sopping, gibbering mess.”

He paused, his gaze softening slightly.

“Call this a more…selfish idea, one that comes as a manifestation of my desires as a Master and Dominant-” he dropped the tone for a moment, “-and very much a roleplay thing, so let me know if this is too much-” and reapplied the tone, “but…in the far east, they have a technique for repairing pottery called Kintsugi. They use molten gold to piece the ceramic shards back together, the idea being it makes the work all the more beautiful for having being broken. But for you?” He turned his gaze back to Zinder, a deep, almost evil grin of mischievous malice written across his grin. “You are Gold Incarnate. I will break you, and bring out the Gold within to the surface, so that I may see the beauty of the Goddess of Greed and Want turned cumslut and Slave to me…her Master.”

Hey, Zinder! That Mortal Ash of a husband you have is finally back. You just gonna let your glorious goddess self just sit by and bask in his presence?

►Submit to him. Be his slave and give yourself to him utterly.

Send my character a ► and a command. They must obey.

“What, you think I was just gonna let my husband stick around and NOT let him fuck the brains out of me? Cause if so, you’re pretty fuckin’ stupid. Sides, I’m his wife. We’ve already utterly given ourselves to each other.” 

————1 hour later————

“Aaand thats why I’m handcuffed to this bedpost with only my shirt and underwear on! I’ll be your ‘slave` tonight, honey.” Just as the goddess said, she was handcuffed to the bed with golden chains that seemed to spark every now and then from magic power. Her strong arms kept up with the snake tattooes looking as though they were being choked around her hands. As for outfits, she was in nothing but her underwear and the puffy royal shirt she had grown fond of wearing. 

[xirlostheparadox]

Xirlos, somehow, sneered even harder. The Aura of Dark around him intensified in a mild flash as his feet hit the ground and he took a step, singularly, towards her, enough to shake the whole building. Her naked chest was now pressed against his stomach as he towered over her.

“You’re playing with a fire you don’t fully understand yet, Slave,” he growled, “so I’ll give you a warning. ONE. Warning...and you will decide where you want to go with that. But I am serious. One chance only. Do you understand, Slave?”

Hey, Zinder! That Mortal Ash of a husband you have is finally back. You just gonna let your glorious goddess self just sit by and bask in his presence?

►Submit to him. Be his slave and give yourself to him utterly.

Send my character a ► and a command. They must obey.

“What, you think I was just gonna let my husband stick around and NOT let him fuck the brains out of me? Cause if so, you’re pretty fuckin’ stupid. Sides, I’m his wife. We’ve already utterly given ourselves to each other.” 

————1 hour later————

“Aaand thats why I’m handcuffed to this bedpost with only my shirt and underwear on! I’ll be your ‘slave` tonight, honey.” Just as the goddess said, she was handcuffed to the bed with golden chains that seemed to spark every now and then from magic power. Her strong arms kept up with the snake tattooes looking as though they were being choked around her hands. As for outfits, she was in nothing but her underwear and the puffy royal shirt she had grown fond of wearing. 

[xirlostheparadox]

UK Government Attempting to pass Trans-Exclusionary Bathroom Laws

As if the UK’s transphobia wasn’t bad enough; now they’re pulling THIS SHIT.

From the Reddit post:

Content Note: Discussion of Transphobia, Bathroom Bills, and mention of transphobic assaults and sexual assault.

The current UK Conservative government, in their infinite wisdom, has decided to turn their attentions towards a nagging desire to inspect the genitals of those using public toilets. Now, you might well wonder why the government is concerned with toilets right now, given the COVID death toll in this country just passed 100,000, but that is the situation as we see it right now.

See the full call for evidence here - Toilet provision for men and women: call for evidence

Now, obviously, these sorts of laws are based on the misconception that cis men will claim to be trans women in order to assault cis women in public toilets. This basically never happens. However, what they do is give transphobes a pretext to police transgender people’s use of public toilets.

This puts Trans Women at huge risk; there is both anecdotal and criminal evidence, that many trans and gender-nonconforming people have been sexually assaulted — and thousands more harassed and insulted — by people who find out that they’re trans. Sometimes, that harassment happens in restrooms. Without an anti-discrimination law, trans people live with the constant threat of being ejected from public restrooms — or worse.

The implications for trans men are huge as well. Instead of making cis women comfortable and safe, these laws put trans men at risk of reprisals from people angry about “the pervert in the women’s toilets.”

What we are seeing here is a cynical attack on some of the most vulnerable people in the UK in order to distract from a catastrophically bungled response to the pandemic.

While the issue is now being used primarily against trans people, historically bathroom fears have been regularly deployed against civil rights causes. It was used against black people to justify segregation — by invoking fears that black men would attack white women in bathrooms. And it was used to stop the Equal Rights Amendment in the United States, which tried to establish legal equality between men and women, because opponents claimed it would lead to the abolition of bathrooms for different genders, potentially putting women in danger.

So, TL;DR, they’re trying to put focus on gender-specific bathrooms and the idea that gender neutral bathrooms are somehow making life more difficult for cis women (which they don’t). This is a pretty thinly veiled attempt at trying to make it more difficult for trans people to just use a goddamn bathroom rather than creating a space for everyone to actually use safely, and their stance of creating more gender specific bathrooms will result in fewer safe options for trans people who are already suffering massive discrimination in the UK.

In the link, and under this cut, there’s an email template created by @WeExistLondon on Twitter for this specific issue to address the inquiry put out by the government. If you’re within the UK, not a TERF and care about trans people being able to live their lives without the government literally making it harder for them to have bodily functions, then please use the template to email (ugh) toilets@communities.gov.uk to push back against this moronic idea.

If you’re not in the UK,

SIGNAL BOOST.

We can help, but we must try.

Email template:

Keep reading

[xirlostheparadox]

“I suppose that does make sense…” Zinder muttered, looking down at her nude body. She had always stopped to admire herself in the mirror, and changing physical appearances by this point was never an issue. Still…she’s still gonna pat herself on the back for the golden traces and the snakes. Go Greed.

“Fine fine, we’ll do it your way.” Zinder shrugged and looked away. Then she blinked. “….Master.”

Xirlos swooped in a little closer to Zinder with a direct stare, almost a sneer, his eyes flashing brighter for a moment. “No, Slave, that tone is not one you will take with me.” His hand was on her chin, lifting her face up to look him right in the eye, not roughly at all but quite firmly. “You do that again, I will have to...punish you. Do you understand?” Those final words were spoken with a deeper, almost promising tone that belied a deep sinister aura.

“Now. When you’ve done correcting your behaviour, give me the go ahead and we’ll continue.”

Hey, Zinder! That Mortal Ash of a husband you have is finally back. You just gonna let your glorious goddess self just sit by and bask in his presence?

►Submit to him. Be his slave and give yourself to him utterly.

Send my character a ► and a command. They must obey.

“What, you think I was just gonna let my husband stick around and NOT let him fuck the brains out of me? Cause if so, you’re pretty fuckin’ stupid. Sides, I’m his wife. We’ve already utterly given ourselves to each other.” 

————1 hour later————

“Aaand thats why I’m handcuffed to this bedpost with only my shirt and underwear on! I’ll be your ‘slave` tonight, honey.” Just as the goddess said, she was handcuffed to the bed with golden chains that seemed to spark every now and then from magic power. Her strong arms kept up with the snake tattooes looking as though they were being choked around her hands. As for outfits, she was in nothing but her underwear and the puffy royal shirt she had grown fond of wearing. 

[xirlostheparadox]

“I prefer you constrained properly with your upper body, unable to move and compact in that regard, Slave. You’ll be lying on the bed on your back soon and it’ll all tuck nicely underneath you. Besides, it makes your tits look fantastic with how it pushes your chest forward.”

He paused, and it seemed his low, honeylike momentum suddenly froze in a total halt.

“Unless you genuinely would prefer to be completely strung out in all directions and bound in a star shape. I can work with that, but I’m not sure you will, because that would be less range of motion. Your call, Slave. What would you prefer?”

Hey, Zinder! That Mortal Ash of a husband you have is finally back. You just gonna let your glorious goddess self just sit by and bask in his presence?

►Submit to him. Be his slave and give yourself to him utterly.

Send my character a ► and a command. They must obey.

“What, you think I was just gonna let my husband stick around and NOT let him fuck the brains out of me? Cause if so, you’re pretty fuckin’ stupid. Sides, I’m his wife. We’ve already utterly given ourselves to each other.” 

------------1 hour later------------

“Aaand thats why I’m handcuffed to this bedpost with only my shirt and underwear on! I’ll be your ‘slave` tonight, honey.” Just as the goddess said, she was handcuffed to the bed with golden chains that seemed to spark every now and then from magic power. Her strong arms kept up with the snake tattooes looking as though they were being choked around her hands. As for outfits, she was in nothing but her underwear and the puffy royal shirt she had grown fond of wearing. 

[xirlostheparadox]

“I want to know why you’re hurt.”

Xirlos sighed and lowered his gaze. His eyes searched the empty space around him for a few seconds before he looked up at the grey individual again.

“I looked where I wasn’t supposed to, I guess. Lived in the wrong era. Was too curious for my own good, didn’t stay in my area of expertise and didn’t know when to keep quiet. I also got engaged to the wrong person.

“I don’t know how long it’s been, how many eons I’ve lived, or unlived, in a world without her. I was just a young scholar, searching the blackness of stars, trying to chart them and see what they could teach us. I peered into one spot of blackness and I learned the true depths of Humanity, and, in turn, taught myself how to use Lifedrain. It’s a terrible thing, only used by the most vile of orders, and yet...I was so excited to have found something new. I told those who I trusted and...well. Turns out I trusted wrong.”

He touched his face idly for a moment.

“These scars across my face are how I’m hurt, and now you know why.” His gaze wasn’t quite bitter as tired, weary, aged and eroded like the cliffside under ocean spray. “I’ve learned that the right man in the wrong place only gets hurt.”

[xirlostheparadox]

🌺 “I WANT TO KNOW…” Prompts

A collection of random “I want to know…” sentences.

For Multimuses: Please Specify Muse(s)

“I want to know more about you.” 

“I want to know where you’re from.”

“I want to know what you do.”

“I want to know what you like.”

“I want to know what your hobbies are.”

“I want to know who your family is.”

“I want to know who your friends are.”

“I want to know what makes you happy.”

“I want to know what makes you sad.”

“I want to know what makes you angry.”

“I want to know why you’re hurt.”

“I want to know who hurt you.”

“I want to know why you’re scared.”

“I want to know what love is to you.”

“I want to know who you loved.”

“I want to know who you hated.”

“I want to know why you run away.”

“I want to know why you stayed.”

“I want to know why you left me.”

“I want to know why you care.”

[xirlostheparadox]

Xirlos: Cinders Appearance and Equipment

((So! Welcome back, our best tol boi in black armour.))

((Been a while, eh? Well. You know the drill, all his usual equipment, the Black Knight Greatsword, all the Dark powers and Darkwraith stuff.))

((Edgy. Well, aside from that, the DS3 version revamped it a touch.))

((Astora Greatsword for better aesthetic, Ringed Knight set for that sweet Eclipse stuff. Well! Cinders changed that even more! Three main things.

One!))

((Look at the SIZE of that thing. Abyssal Greatsword. Basically a Darksword on steroids, complete with Artorias spins. Powerful! Better looking. More his speed. Certainly hits harder, and while it doesn’t do bonus damage to Demons, the Dark damage certainly makes up for it.

Also:))

((MASSIVE. Probably moreso than the Black Knight Greatsword. Expect *CLANG*.

Two!))

((Ahah! Familiar, yes? This sword is BONKERS powerful and lithe, enhanced with a lot of Xirlos’ highly refined sword techniques over the many, many years of his wandering. Not to be fucked with, possibly more dangerous than the Abyssal Greatsword since, well, it’s faster. WAY faster.

Three!))

((Freeze.

Yep! Sniper Crossbow. You travel around battlefields long enough, you know that killing someone before they see you or without their buddies knowing you killed them is very important. Coupled with Sniper Bolts, this motherfucker has literally gotten me through most of the game and in turn helped Xirlos turn parts of Lothric into graveyards. Extremely long range, great zoom, perfect for long ranges.

Also:))

((Looks really cool, too.

Xirlos is a LOT heavier with all this all over his body, but the Ringed Knight set is slightly lighter make compared to the Black Knight armour (which he still carries with him at times, by the way) and he’s much, MUCH stronger now. He has some Dark spells, but he doesn’t use it much, considering sniping things with his crossbow is so much more effective. As always, he prefers to fight like any other Knight.))