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I was reading it but I got distracted by the second half

im calling myself out on this one

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Leaving house:

Getting fresh air:

Coming in contact with other people :

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You can literally make anything and anyone problematic if you try hard enough seriously give me people and things and I’ll make them all “problematic” right now.

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That's not even funny... I laughed

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I think most people never started thinking at an attempt to prevent physic attacks

HUGE if true

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Koolaid man is the jar the liquid is his blood

Twice: Is the Kool Aid Man the jar or the liquid?

Y/n: What?

Twice: IS THE KOOL AID MAN THE JAR OR THE LIQUID?

Dabi: Not again

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This deserves a billboard

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bask in the glory that is no god

why the fuck did I just get an anon saying that I need to follow god or else I’m going to hell- BITCH I’M ALREADY HERE

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I'll be my own Inquirer

Why so incapable of contemplating this constantly unstable mental state put up with it for a taste of what it feels to be understood for once but is it worth the risk I really need to think this through why I'm reluctant

to share my ideals and opinions tell people what my thoughts are open up with my consciences but cant quite make a coherent sentences so I just hide keep everything inside make sure nothing can come in from the outside because i don't care to confide in the ones who saw something good in me

Wow.. oh! really? what a pussy you see what I mean who talks about their feelings you just need to vibe bro it's not that complex just go with the flow let go stop holding on to the to the shortest rope with the least likelyhood of success

Success what is success dress up for attention have the latest model and nicest brand surrounding yourself with distractions procrastinating instead of contemplating how to be the best you that you want to be

But am I changing for me? or for what I was programmed to be just waiting for directions like the rest of humanity

Stop and take a hit just smile and laugh shut up and start relaxing your attitude is really taxing

How is it, that you can be relaxing while others are slaving away to pay their bills mountains that came from hills

Nah man here just take some more pills I'm not here for this shit

You ain't real enough for this shit just a cog in a machine a dog on a leash careful not to bite the one who feeds

Following orders and deeds obligated to represent reputations neglecting their just vessel a tool being used to confuse the masses they think their the consumers being programmed frequent frequencys colors and pretty flashing lights

Designed to have you mindlessly sitting on the couch smiling neglecting your brain till you go insane till you open of your pouch of pain meds now your addicted but not affected cause your drugs did their job of robbing you of your cognitive thinking now your a cog no need to thrive a bee in hive serve your queen that's not obscene

I'm not trying to instigate these situations I hate but I can't pretend that I dont spectate and sit alone think hold what wait try a lil harder to file my thoughts thought hard about it I feel myself departing no longer hanging I the branch I've hanging on for way to long

I cant let me lose myself cuz I'm all I got I don't care what i was taught I'm not on the clock

Still so unsure what the game plan is but I'm getting more uncomfortable with uncertainty

Let myself stay close to home dont get lost all on my own but still complete that dont mean I want to compete

It's not hard to see that I'm socially inept. I'm begrudgingly accepting the fact that I don't mix with society cuz a part of me has always wanted to blend in but in my own way

Cant even keep track of these days constant reruns don't need the attention I dont want to be in your silly little club or a taste of the sweet life I dont ever want to be a wife

I want stay true to me but when I'm obstructing my own sight its really hard to see who I actually want to be

I went to wander and roam free think for myself try to make it on own but now I'm lost in this labyrinth that is everything I fear everything i hold dear lost in mind and seem to find this part of be that seems to be missing

I'm no longer okay please stay away

I've created a tailored hell just for to sink further into insanity no I don't need help. I'll do it by myself just go away

Or you'll have hell to pay I'm I'm toxic but not just cause I'm sick of all this shit of adjusting and trusting for them to not care what I think

But they dont have to but I'm of hearing bitching from someone whose so insignificant that try to be something superior to me

Why cant we see that were equally capable of maintaining a stable mindset but I know it just goes right over my headset manically depressed or just obsessed trying to breaking away when something's

Telling me I need to stay to find that there will always be pain clean up another blood stain refrain from buying a fresh blade

At a masquerade ball try to find my way but feeling more like im looking in fun house mirrors facing the fears I have of myself

Won't stop complicating everything thing I'm saying can't stop arguing with my self is there really a war going on in my head can't stand the hours I set here laying in bed waiting patiently silently debating constantly switching the side I stand on till I fall find myself laying in bed awake again

Not know how I left myself drifting so long

Being shifty but letting things slip out of control and I don't think I'm holding on to anything but my problems can't keep my promises

I just want to find the common denominator to all this mental labor. But I trapped myself within these these conflicting thoughts

the way I'm feeling can't say just what I'm thinking cant help how far I'm falling

I wont reach out for help... I don't need your help. I dont want your help I just run away from everything right now

Why are all my thoughts consistently conflicting wont stop contradicting what I try to put my mind too

Always finding new ways to contribute to the progression of humanity

I won't stop obsessing I can't bring myself to comply even if I have to lie

Whenever I stand up tall try to make myself different from you all but the universe is so much bigger than us all we don't realize how far we're actually falling

It gets me wondering to where I just sit alone pondering the possibilities of so many diverse realities

The perspectives of everyone. are enough to confuse anyone

Making you feel so discombobulated used to think everyone else was assimilated

Yet it still feels like ive been searching for so long feel my patience slowly slipping away

As my path remain unclear forced myself to stay say I was okay not knowing what that means to me

I fell away blindly moving to go forward into life I thought wanted still struggling to grow up and deal what I've been through not knowing what seems right I dont know how much longer I can stay fight

Wanted so bad to hold onto the mistakes I've learned from but I fell down a rabbit hole everything pulling me back into the habits I want to let go of

I don't know how to move forward I want to go but part of me won't budge

I need a nudge feel free to judge me but who am i judging really why am i comparing all of these people? because I wont let myself see when in comes down to it the only one that i got through it all is me and I need to focus on myself cuz I'm all I have for the long haul but I'm still not ready at all

afraid to receive affection or look at my own reflection not willing to stop and check my agenda hoping to get enough high that it will distract me from my health and keep me from falling into this paradox I call myself

I just have to keep deceiving myself so I cant trick everyone and so I Don't forget to smile and constantly contradict and contort so that they cant see me decaying and semi consciously constraining what im actually thinking because its wrong to think about all the bullshit the majority's put up with an If you can't help but think about it

Just pretend like your okay because that's how you run in the human race

Still can't help ask why I alive? Who is this mask? I'll follow their lead finish the task neglect what need

To fuel the fire that seeds my Insanity

Because I am alright I'm doing fine

I'll say that I'm okay so I dont bare the shame of running away

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You're gonna have to conform write your name on a form

Distorted thoughts contorted faces. While their empty smiles and their drawn out cases are still convincing everyone to not fill in the spaces

Its fact that their mentally stable and a prime example of what to be in play pretend in magazines they'll drag things shut their mouth because they've got the latest model and designer material possessions dont let them learn their lessons minor circumcisions can't make their own decisions

Still trying to decipher the options listed insistent obligations presestint lack of commitment and communication

Inside a nation blind to its self mutilation

What's your occupation can't stay on vacation there's no time to decide or pick and choose what you get through what everyone's calling life

Dont think this the only way to live but they'll choke down their words not dare to prevoke the hand who starves them step down and follow standards

Found a calling I think but then I fell so far

Ending up chasing my to way to the top i felt my heart drop at the moment id stopped at the thought of

what I've done leave it in the past wont last in the race if I dont pick up my pace

You know you have to keep going tell them that you care but why is so hard to say when you really feel that way

Struggle to make contact stumble to find some answers sanity slipping away I wish I could remain more humble

I think that I'm in some trouble searching for acknowledgement in an attempt to heal the wounds not above my skin the wounds deep down with in the I try so hard to contain but I'm working so hard to get out

But I cant seem to walk through this open door

commitments that I've made the reasons start to fade. I'm not alive

I will not die

The majority's take over the minority's hold em hostile wont leave them alone so they migrate still tryna vibe right but they come back a stick still up their ass bitching and yelling about shit they dont understand because they can't come to terms with the world when its not orbiting around them

Cuz they weren't taught to swim so their choices look slim when they think death is the end of the book

Get themselves shook up when they don't bother to finish the story that they started or resolved the situations the instigated

But the ones who get mistreated by the people who refuse to treat the wounds those are the kids who've had enough of it who get locked in an institution left with retribution

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Donut

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Does anyone else like ever think about ɴᴏ how mainstream media entertainment and marketing productions are using, manipulating what our brains naturally gravitate towards ʏᴏᴜ ᴜsᴇ ᴍᴏɴᴇʏ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀʟʟᴏᴡ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍɪsᴇʀʏ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴄᴏᴍғᴏʀᴛᴀʙʟʏ

taking paper calling it currency forcing ᴛᴇʟʟɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴏɴᴇʏ ᴍᴇᴀɴs ʜᴀᴘᴘɪɴᴇss you to believe you can't survive without it

People teach their children they cant trust anyone ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʀᴇ ᴡᴇᴀᴋ they teach 'girls' that they need to be prim and proper ʙᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ and they cant protect themselves ɪɴᴄᴏᴍᴘᴏᴛᴇɴᴛ tell 'boys' that they're going to become a strong 'man' and to suppress their ideals ᴛʜᴇʏ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ sᴜᴄᴄᴇssғᴜʟ and toconform and forget why they're wherever they are ɪs ᴛʜɪs ʙᴇɪɴɢ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ? Be tough stand tall ᴅᴏɴᴛ ғᴀʟʟ

focus on how the world sees ʸᵒᵘ neglect ʸᵒᵘʳ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴs and ʙᴇ ᴜsᴇғᴜʟ

Theʏ say the same thing ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴅᴀʏ to everyone every single person

sᴍɪʟᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴅ

Have to gᴏ to school meet up to the expectation

Careful not to ruin your reputation tell yourself to concentrate when these pills just just make you want to self mutilate

get asked how your doing be sure not to hesitate when you tell them you fine

don't trip on your words you can't put your image on the line don't ask for help they can't know your weak don't fall apart

when it all looks bleak you're supposed to trust them when they say that it gets better

they know deep down inside that it's just another lie to pretend like their still holding themselves together

And that's why late at night they cry inside and silently conceal the constant pain they aren't even aware of or that the mask the wear is bonded to them preventing clear vision thought to be left out to roam but was cast out into the unknown cold and alone but feeling better then 'home'

Everyone sets standards for the ᴍɪɴᴏʀɪᴛʏ's and use the the ᵐᵃʲᵒʳⁱᵗʸ'ˢ as ᗰIᑎᗪᒪᗴՏՏ 𝕡𝕦𝕡𝕡𝕡𝕖𝕥𝕤

People hurt others to numb their pain

Your told that you too sensitive to make it through so you comply now you do what you're told to do but now you're 'cold' you're 'mean' 'fake' you dont care because you learn a while ago that your on you're on your own just neglect to think or take care yourself that's all they wanted anyway

'God' or 'other people' are going to think of you're weren't taught to balance your life and your feelings to take of yourself so when you try it. You feel like a weight is off your chest like these shackles you hadn't known of were gone but when you're left to roam you lost stranded in space that weight is back you were always taught to follow the path paved for you and you were sick of it you wanted more than to conform and playcate to the wants and wills of others at the expense of your sanity but that's all you ever knew

They say

Just cooperate you dont really have choice to make your own decisions but when you fuck up its all your fault all because you can't just figure out how to operate or navigate through life

It's really just so simple having to explain it is irritating and boring but I cant lead by example so I'll leave you vulnerable and alone so you can stumble and fall until your mask wont come off at all you'll be one of us because your nothing on your own you know you've been shown what future awaits if you dont cooperate and conform

We're not afraid to use chloroform you dont even know the half of what's going on

You feel eyes all around careful how you climb that platform now

Darkness lurking within the shadows complete absence of sound

Feeling everyone else's convictions and beliefs hold you down falling to your knees beginning to see what you've come to be

Hands shaking can't catch your breath thought it was fear but that your here finally letting go you just want to embrace and give up the chase

You doctor tells you to take these pills you'll be 'normal ' they make you 'better' dont worry this doctor will ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴛᴏ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀs these drugs will make you 'happy' ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴅᴏ ᴅʀᴜɢs talk to this 'therapist' ᴛʜɪs sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ

You fall into a self harm addiction plagued with suicidal thoughts and never quite able to grasp composure your told that your feelings are not normal that your bad ɢᴏᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅɪᴅ ɪ ᴅᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇ ᴛʜɪs ʀᴏᴛᴛᴇɴ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ your a burden ᴡʜᴀᴛs ᴡʀᴏɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇʀ you can never quite manage to please anyone with your actions though they accuse you of doing drugs (ᴛʜɪs ᴍᴇᴅɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ) you're told you're to weak to help yourself but not good enough to rely on others your taught that 'love' is everywhere ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴛʀᴜsᴛ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ your taught that you need protection but you cant carry a firearm ᴡʜᴀᴛs ᴀ 'ɢɪʀʟ' ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ 'ɢᴜɴ' you dont fall with in the criteria to legally carry ᴀ ʙɪɢ 'sᴛʀᴏɴɢ ᴍᴀɴ' ᴍᴜsᴛ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛ ʏᴏᴜ

He's taught that being a virgin is lame and sex and providing money to find a sexual partner and the essentials is priorities ʜᴇs ᴅʀᴏᴡɴɪɴɢ he wakes up the slight constant pain taunting him knowing he cant stay in bed just another day ʀᴇғʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴʟᴇss have to put on a brave face sᴜᴘᴘʀᴇss ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴs let it you'll of your back ғᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ɪᴛ ʜᴜʀᴛs make sure to smile and laugh ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ be happy ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴄʀʏ have to be big ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴇxsᴘᴇɴᴄᴇ strong to protect everyone sᴀᴄʀɪғɪᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ

Help everyone ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴀsᴋ ғᴏʀ ʜᴇʟᴘ dont let people see

Are you happy? ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪs ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ you body shakes and twitches slightly every so often ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴛʜᴀᴛ that's not normal ᴡʜᴏ ɪs ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ

Your lost ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ find your way hurry ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀs ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ dont fail ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴅɪssᴀᴘᴏɪɴᴛ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ be yourself ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴏғғᴇɴᴅ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ be nice ᴅᴏɴᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ɪɴ stay true to yourself ʙᴇ ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ you need to function in moderation society ɪs ᴛʜɪs ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴀ ᴍᴀsᴋ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ don't think about it too much ᴅᴏɴᴛ ʙᴇ ɪɢɴᴏʀᴀɴᴛ hold yourself together ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜᴇ act 'normal' ʟɪᴠᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴛᴏ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇs ᴇxsᴘᴇᴄᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴs need to impress everyone ғᴏʟʟᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴇɴᴅs ʙʟᴇɴᴅ differentiate yourself ʜɪᴅᴇ get told your never going to be enough

Your alone? It doesn't feel like your alone ᴇᴍᴘᴛʏ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʙᴏᴛᴛʟᴇ dont forget to breathe ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʜɪᴛ you're happy ᴅᴏɴᴛ ғᴀʟʟ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ you want to be alive ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴋɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ smile and watch cartoons ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴄᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ go on a walk take a deep breath through your nose ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ʙᴜʀɴs light another cigarette sᴋɪᴘ ᴛʜɪs sᴏɴɢ grip your knife tightly sᴛᴀʏ ᴏɴ ʜɪɢʜ ᴀʟᴇʀᴛ

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