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[xtramarks]

Spoilers ahead! New readers can read the first adventure, X Marks: The Unusual Map, here!

Welcome to the second X Marks X-Ray – while I’m preparing the next story, I want to give you a behind the scenes look at the making of The Unusual Map.

So with my fixation on writing a ‘Big Quest’ out of the way, I completed a first draft and showed to a close friend and colleague for an honest opinion:

You can read the first draft in full here (New readers: Here be spoilers!)

Having had a fresh pair of eyes look at the story I saw he was absolutely right! I’d put in all the things I wanted, but not necessarily in the right order! My major crimes against storytelling were:

Neglecting to introduce the premise on the first page!

Characters did not have strong introductions/ revealing their secrets too early on…

Too much exposition/ unecessary worldbuilding detail in dialogue. 

No real urgency/peril driving the plot until after they found the treasure, with the main conflict not being introduced until the end of the 2nd Act.

Dragging out the ending after the big climax of the story!

Some elements have stayed pretty much in tact, bu I feel I focused too much on writing a script than a visual story. So i read up on story structure (recommendations at the end of the post!) and started on a second draft, this time writing it as an outline to get an overview of the whole story and organise it into something more exciting! 

So what did I change?

Using the first page to set up the premise: The introduction of Ichor and the guild moved to the second page, so I could instantly tell readers what the story was going to be about - The greatest treasures, the most amazing discoveries, the darkest of secrets, whatever they are, wherever they are, Skare D'Kat is going to find them for everyone before they’re lost! He’s going to be one of the world’s greatest explorers!

Showing not telling for character introductions:

Thinking more visually in the second draft, I tried to get more of Skare D and Vector’s personalities across in their actions (Skare D. jumping over the exhibits, Vector’s brash entrance, Macabre’s intimidating stature). Keeping people guessing about Vector’s true profession until the very last moment also helped create a few mystery in the story, and I feel a much stronger revelation at the end of the second act rather than this :

Redacted just in case a new reader has made his way down here - what are you waiting for? Check out the first adventure now!

Keeping the story driving forward on each page: 

In the first draft I feel the characters are pretty static, milling around the same room and introducing themselves. So in the second draft I got them out of Skare D’s office and heading towards the treasure as soon as possible, it also gave me a better way to introduce characters like Macabre.

Creating a sense of urgency and setting up the conflict earlier: 

Apart from a brief mention of Sawtooth in the first act, there was never any real conflict them until the final act. There’s was never a sense that Skare D may fail his mission either, so introduced the industrialists and the potential conflict earlier at the end of the first act. That way I could start making things worse for our protagonist in the 2nd Act and a more exciting adventure!

Placing all the big revelations in the 3rd act: 

The treasure, Vector’s hidden talents, and Skare D’s back story, all these elements were in the first draft, but either mentioned too early, or were just not in the right place to have the biggest impact!

So it was a lot of work to build the story into something stronger, and I’d continue to revise the story right up until drawings the page in some cases, but I wouldn’t have got there without that first draft, no mater how boring it ended up being, or the honest critique from my friend! All I can say is get those first drafts out of your head and onto the page/screen/ipad thigns can only get better from there!

Here’s a couple of books I can recommend for learning about story structure, they’re short and concise, and gave me a good grounding in the fundamentals:

Invisible Ink: A Practical Guide to Building Stories that Resonate by Brian McDonald

Nobody Wants to Read Your Sh*t by Steven Pressfield

Okay, that’s it for this week’s X Marks X Ray! Thanks for reading and see you next week for something a little less wordy!

Our artist trimmed out unnecessary detail to keep the story moving forward, but will it ever see the light of day? Find out in next week’s X Marks X Ray: A Few More Explorers!

[xtramarks]

X Marks: The Unusual Map - 1st Draft!

Spoilers ahead! New readers can read the first adventure, X Marks: The Unusual Map, here! 

Here is the very first Draft of X Marks: The Unusual Map! I’m sharing it in full and unedited because first drafts are never supposed be perfect, and the sooner I got it finished, the sooner I could start improving it! 

New readers beware, it reveals big secrets from our first adventure early on, so I recommend you start by reading our first adventure here! 

All caught up? Then the script beings after the jump!

Author Note: This was my first attempt writing a script, so all professional scriptwriting conventions and formatting went out the window! 

So, BOLD is used to indicate a which character is speaking, followed by the dialouge underneath. Italics are used for describing action and scene setting.

X MARKS

We have what appears to be a montage of Skare D, in different situations, lamplit libraries, mysterious temples, jungle foliage. In reality these are just various rooms of the guild of Explorers.

MACABRE:

Explorers! They are the ones defining this era,

Out in search of new discoveries to share with the world,

Whether they lie beyond the horizon, or shrouded deep in the fog of history.

There has been the discovery of new lands, devices and revelations about our pasts, but the latest discovery that has captured everyone’s imagination is treasure!

With so many on the hunt for treasure an explorer needs ingenuity, bravery and an open mind to ensure the world’s precious treasures are not lost or damaged to greed and ignorance.

And there is no better explorer I can recommend you than Skare D. Kat…

AN ESTABLISHING SHOT OF THE GUILD OF EXPLORERS

SKARE D’s HAND KNOCKS ON THE DOOR OF MACABRE’S OFFICE.

MACABRE

Ah Skare D. Come on in…

SKARE.D

Macabre, Sir, I have the scrolls you wanted from the Library.

MACABRE

Excellent, with these it might just prove my theory on the connection between settlers from the Cobalt Kingdom on the design of ornamental swords in Northern Ichor.

SKARE.D

And the greenhouses thought this might brighten up your office.

MACABRE

Aha, an Aromatic Orchid, very hard to grow outside of Partidas country, lets give it a new home on my desk.

SKARE D FOLLOWS MACABRE INTO HIS OFFICE. MACABRE BEGINS ORGANISING THE PARCHMENT ONTO SOME SHELVES AS SKARE D. PLACES THE ORCHID ON HIS DESK. THERE IS A MAP WITH MULTIPLE MARKINGS UPON IT.

SKARE.D

What’s this? A new treasure map.?

MACABRE

Unfortunately not. I’m just keeping an eye on our friends of the Industrial Revolution. A certain Indequano Industries appears to be embarking on many new projects in the forests of Ichor.

SKARE.D

Indequano? Like Sawtooth Indequano? What kind of projects?

MACABRE

Oh, mining, gathering resources, though I suspect they may be hoping to stumble upon hidden treasure…

SKARE.D

But whenever they do discover something interesting, they keep it to themselves – especially treasure!

MACABRE

This is exactly why I’d like your help locating something for our client. Sorry to keep you waiting Mr Vector.

MACABRE

Skare D. this is Mr Vector, Mr Vector this is Skare D. Kat, the explorer I told you about.

SKARE.D

Hello! Skare D. Kat, explorer, pleased to meet you!

VECTOR

Nice to meet ya too! I’m Vector, a fisherman from Okmotl.

SKARE.D

A fisherman! What brings you all the way here?

VECTOR

Well, I’ve just inherited some sort of treasure from my Granpa hidden away in this map…

SKARE.D

A family treasure map! Lets see…

VECTOR

Now, I’m not much of an explorer, but I’ve traipsed up an’ down dead tree valley ‘bout a hundred times, yet found nothing. So I thought it’d be better to have expert cast an eye on it.

Skare D. Turns the map upside down in front of Vector. He’s enlightened.

VECTOR

Ah.

ABOVE THE FOREST – CUTTING IN CLOSER – SCENIC VIEWS

 VECTOR

Okay, one more time…

SKARE.D

Now, when read the correct way, this little picture means tree, so we’re looking in the forest.

And by the lake is this big X Mark. And when there’s an X Mark then it’s just a matter of heading towards it, instead of..

VECTOR

Avoiding it?

SKARE.D

Correct!

VECTOR

Heh! Big red Xs that don’ mean STAY AWAY! Who’da thought it?

SKARE.D

Well, when you’re an explorer you have to learn to read all kinds of maps.

VECTOR

Kinda fortunate there’s some of you still left in the country, but say? Why aren’t you out there on exploring the oceans in search of new lands and what not?

SKARE.D

You see, I can’t sail due to a tragic curse…

SKARE.D

I’m too short! And boats are sooo big! And the ropes - I can’t reach them at all!

VECTOR

That’s no curse!

SKARE.D

In the meantime there’s plenty of things to be discovered in this land! For example, your hidden lake!

SKARE D. PUSHES ASIDE SOME BUSHES TO REVEAL THE HIDDEN LAKE

VECTOR

The water’s a lot deeper than on the map.

SKARE.D

It’s quite an old map, the geography’s always going to be changing little by little.

VECTOR

Well you explorers had better a move on.  You’ll have no sooner discovered the whole world only to find the bits you started from are completely different.

SKARE.D

We’ll just explore them again!

VECTOR

But then the other parts might be changing’ too!

THEY VENTURE DEEPER INTO THE CAVE.

SKARE.D

Your Grandpa didn’t leave you a map of the inside did he?

VECTOR

Nope. Granpa was never one to be straight forward. Say, what’re you doing?

SKARE.D

Maybe this dead end isn’t so straight forward either…

DUSTS AWAY THE CAVE DIRT, REVEALS HOLES.

SKARE.D

Aha!

VECTOR

A hole?

SKARE.D

Not just any hole, someone made this, and there’s some sort of switch further down…

VECTOR

Well, I’m no explorer, but I reckon whoever made this hole belonged to a race of extremely thin, long armed people…

SKARE.D

Or they had a long bamboo fishing rod such as yourself?

 Vector stares at his fishing rod for a beat.

 VECTOR

Grandpa!!

Vector places the stick into the hole to hit the switch. We hear the whir of machinery, the far end of the cave is illuminated revealing a treasure chest on a pedestal and a bridge emerges from either end of the ledges.

SKARE.D

AAH! AMAZING!

VECTOR

Wow…Grandpa was a dab hand with a hammer, but I never expected this.

SKARE.D

Lets go!

Vector glances down at the abyss below him.

VECTOR

Uh, ah, I’m more of a man of the land and sea, I’m not too keen on walking on air…

SKARE.D

It’ll be safe, this bridge is really well made, and not a plank is missing.

SKARE D. TESTS THE ROPES, THEY ARE QUITE TAUGHT

VECTOR

I’ll just wait here, you go ahead.

VECTOR PLACES HIS LANTERN DOWN BY HIS FEET AND LEANS ON ONE OF THE BRIDGE POLES, IT BENDS SEVERELY UNDER HIS WEIGHT

SKARE.D

Suit yourself!

SKARE D. HEADS TOWARDS THE LEDGE SMILING AND CONFIDENT – THIS BRIDGE IS REALLY WELL MADE!

HE REACHES THE OTHER LEDGE AND CIRCLES THE PEDESTAL WITH THE CHEST, AFTER A BEAT HE SLOWLY APPROACHES, WHISPERING TO HIMSELF…

SKARE.D

Please no booby traps, please no booby traps…

HE OPENS THE CHEST, AND FLINCHES IN EXPECTATION OF BLOW DARTS, ROLLING BOULDERS, SPIKES. NOTHING HAPPENS.

SKARE.D

All right!

CUT TO VECTOR HE IS STILL LEANING ON THE BRIDGE POLE, WHICH DESPITE BEING WELL MADE, SEEMS TO BE UNDER A LOT OF STRAIN.

SKARE.D

Hey Vector!

SKARE D IS RUNNING BACK ACROSS THE BRIDGE WITH A BUNDLE.

SKARE.D

I found something!

VECTOR STOPS LEANING ON THE BRIDGEPOLE, BUT IN STANDING UP, KNOCKS OVER HIS LANTERN, WHICH SETS IT ON FIRE…

VECTOR

UWAHH! HURRY UP!!

SKARE D RUNS EVEN FASTER.

SNAP! THE ROPES ON ONE SIDE OF THE BRIDGE POLE COME OFF, BUT VECTOR CATCHES.

VECTOR

DON’T WORRY I’LL PULL THEM TAUT!

HE PULLS, BUT HIS STRENGTH IS TOO GREAT AND PULLS THE POLE FROM THE OPPOSITE SIDE OUT OF THE GROUND. AND HE FALLS DOWN.

THE BRIDGE GIVES WAY ON ONE SIDE AND SKARE D PLUMMETS.

SKARE.D

AH!!

VECTOR

OH NOOOO!  Now I’ve done it!! I’ve destroyed an explorer, a priceless treasure and a really well-made bridge all in one go! What am I going to do??

SKARE.D

Well you could stop panicking for a start!

SKARE D. IS BALANCING ON THE OTHER BRIDGE ROPE, TIGHTROPE WALKING ACROSS TO VECTOR!

VECTOR

YOU’RE ALIVE!!

SKARE.D

A broken bridge isn’t going to stop me!

VECTOR

So what kind of treasure does a fisherman hide away like this?

SKARE.D

Well, I’m no fisherman, so I thought it’d be better to have expert cast an eye on it.

SKARE D. PULLS OUT OF THE BUNDLE AN ORNATE GOLDEN FISH.

CROSS FADE

-          VECTOR AND SKARE D. ARE WALKING IN THE CAVE BACK TO EXIT.

VECTOR

Thank you so much!

SKARE.D

You’re welcome! That’s a really nice treasure.

VECTOR

Yeah! Wasn’t quite sure what  to expect – but there’s some real craftmanship right here.

VECTOR

Sounds like something’s loose, though!

SKARE.D

Yeah, there’s something I can’t figure out, I’ll need a closer look at it outside…

VECTOR, SLIPS THE FISH INTO THE INSIDE OF HIS SHIRT.

VECTOR

Sure thing. Hey look!

VECTOR

We can get out here!

SKARE.D

Hey wait just because there’s light doesn’t mean it’s coming from -

PAN OUT TO ABOUT 20 INDUSTRIALIST GOONIES WORKING IN A WELL LIT CAVE.

SKARE.D

-          Outside.

THE GOONIES ALL SLOWY TURN TO LOOK AT SKARE D. AND VECTOR.

GOONIE

Get them!

THE GOONIES SWAMP SKARE D. AND VECTOR. THEY PULL THEM DOWN WITH EASE.

VECTOR

What’s with these guys?! They’re really…strong!

SKARE.D

They’re Goonies – Industrialists!

VECTOR

What are they doing out here!

SAWTOOTH

Working for me, the world’s greatest industrialist…

SKARE.D

Sawtooth Indequano!

SAWTOOTH

That’s riiiiiight!

SAWTOOTH

And I know exactly why you’re here….

 CUT TO BLACK.

 INT: BLAST ROCK CAVERN

SKARE D. AND VECTOR ARE SAT ON THE GROUND WITH THEIR HANDS TIED, SURROUNDED BY GOONIES. SAWTOOTH IS PACING IN FRONT OF THEM..

SAWTOOTH

It doesn’t take much for an intelligent mind such as mine to work out exactly what you’re here for…

SKARE.D

It doesn’t?

SAWTOOTH

YES! This! Blast Rock! The world’s most volatile mineral.

SKARE.D

Huh?

VECTOR

What would we want with a silly old rock?

SAWTOOTH

Playing innocent, huh? GOI! Give them a demonstration!

GOI

Yes Sir!!

GOI HOLDS A PIECE OF BLAST ROCK, POINTING IT AWAY FROM HIMSELF, HE GINGERLY TAPS THE ROCK WITH A HAMMER SHOOTING A BLAST OF ENERGY BETWEEN SKARE D. AND VECTOR.

 VECTOR

Uwah!

SAWTOOTH

This rare resource creates a powerful blast from the lightest of impacts! That’s why you’re here! You saw through all my decoy projects and somehow discovered my secret blast rock mine, hoping to sneak some from under my nose!

SKARE.D

This is just a misunderstanding, I had no idea industrialists were working here…

VECTOR

Yeah! I’m just a fisherman and my friend here was just exploring…

SKARE.D

Shh!

SAWTOOTH

Exploring? You’re an explorer?

SKARE.D

Nah! He meant to say, uh, deploring. I was just deploring. (Dismissive, posh voice) This is an extremely shoddy cave, don’t you think Vector?

SAWTOOTH

Shaddup! The only time explorers go exploring is when there’s…treasure…

SAWTOOTH’S EYES LIGHT UP

SAWTOOTH

HAND OVER YOUR TREASURE!

SKARE.D & VECTOR

*GESTURING TO TIED HANDS*

How??

SAWTOOTH

BOYS! GIVE ‘EM A SPIN CYCLE!

LIKE WORKER ANTS THE GOONIES LIFT UP SKARE D. AND VECTOR AND ROLL THEM ABOUT ON THE SPOT. ALONG WIT SOME SMALL CHANGE, THE GOLDEN FISH LANDS UPON THE GROUND.

VECTOR

My Treasure!

SAWTOOTH

Magnificent….

Tell you what! I’ll keep this, you keep your traps shut and you can get outta my sight with only minor injuries.

SKARE.D

Why? It’s not yours! Why would you want it?

SAWTOOTH

Because something as fine as this would be much better off in the private collection of the world’s greatest industrialist to be than in the smelly hands of a mere fisherman!

VECTOR

Grandpa….I’m sorry…

SKARE.D

…

SAWTOOTH

Goi, take this back to the lab. Boys, get rid of these losers.

SKARE.D

Give it back.

SAWTOOTH

What?

SKARE.D

Give back that treasure right now or it’ll be the second mistake you make today.

SAWTOOTH

Give it back or you’ll do what? Huh?

You’re all tied up, what could you…wait. What was the first mistake?

SKARE.D

You tied up the wrong bits!

SKARE D. IS CROUCHING DOWN, WITH HIS FREE FEET HE SUDDENLY SPRINGS UPWARDS, SPINNING THROUGH THE AIR. HE MANAGES TO CUT HIS HANDS LOOSE ON A PIECE OF EQUIPMENT, AND AS GOONIES ATTEMPT TO STOP HIM HE BEGINS BOUNCING ON THEIR HELMETS TOWARDS GOI.

HE LANDS ON GOI, AND GRABS THE FISH.

SAWTOOTH IS MOMENTARILY SHOCKED THEN LUNGES, SKARE D. BACKFLIPS AND LANDS ON SOMETHING.

SKARE.D

As an explorer, I won’t let such an interesting treasure be lost out of greed!

SKARE D. IS DRAMATICALLY LIT UNDERNEATH. WE CUT TO DRAMATICALLY LIT REACTION SHOTS FROM VECTOR, SAWTOOTH, GOI, THE GOONIES AND BACK TO SKARE D.

SKARE.D

Hmm?

THE DRAMATIC LIGHTING IS EMANATING FROM A LARGE BLAST ROCK SKARE D. BACKFLIPPED ONTO.

SAWTOOTH

RUN!!

THE GOONIES DROP VECTOR AND RUN LEFT, PAST SKARE D. WHO JUMPS OF THE ROCK AND RUNS RIGHT AS IT STARTS EMITTING ENERGY BLASTS IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

THESE BLASTS STRIKE BLAST ROCKS IN THE CAVERN WALLS WHICH GLOW AND EMIT BLASTS IN A CHAIN REACTION.

SAWTOOTH AND THE GOONIES FLEE FROM RIGHT TO LEFT CARRYING EQUIPMENT.

SKARE D. AND VECTOR FLEE FROM LEFT TO RIGHT WITH THE GOLDFISH.

THE CAVE HAS COMPLETLEY CAVED IN.

SKARE.D

Well. That’ll keep them busy!

VECTOR

What..What was that?!

SKARE.D

Oh? Heh! Heh! Just a little acrobatics – some people called me the “Human Cannonball”.

VECTOR

Not just that!! You got so mad at them taking my treasure – what was all that about not letting interesting treasure be lost out of greed?

SKARE.D

Well, treasure can be more than just gold you know? It has all kinds of secrets, histories and messages to tell, but keep it in a private collection, or melt it down for gold and that all disappears…

Which is why, if there are more fantastic treasures and discoveries out there – I’m going to find them before they’re lost to everyone!

VECTOR

You mean this treasure might have a message for me?

SKARE.D

Yeah! Now let’s find out!

 CUT TO EXT. LAKE.

SKARE D. PEERS OUT OF THE CAVE.

SKARE.D

No Industrialists here! Let’s hurry…

VECTOR

Hey! Looks even better in the sunlight! Now, REVEAL YOUR SECRETS!!

SKARE.D

So, Vector, you know your fish, what kind is it?

VECTOR

Well this would be an Ichorian River Tuna, and a pretty good likeness.

SKARE.D

Pretty good?

VECTOR

Well the gills are a bit off, they shouldn’t lie across.

SKARE.D

Don’t you think those sideways gills look familiar?

VECTOR

Huh?

SKARE.D

See - this is an old symbol for water, just like the one on your map….

VECTOR

AH! A MESSAGE! JUST LIKE YOU SAID!

SKARE.D

Yeah!

VECTOR

So the message means I have to put the fish in the lak-

BOOM!!

UPON CONTACT WITH THE WATER THE GOLDFISH SHOOTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET, KNOCKING SKARE D. AND VECTOR BACK TO THE WALLS OF THE LAKE IN A SPRAY OF WATER. THE SILVERFISH IS PROPELLED ALONG THE LAKE AT HIGH SPEED.

SKARE.D

That’s quite a powerful message…

VECTOR STARES AT THE FISH WITH A DAWNING REALISATION.

VECTOR

That’s ‘cause it’s not just a message – it’s a test!

VECTOR STEPS UP TO THE LAKE, POLE DRAWN.

SKARE.D

You’re - you’re going to catch that!? It’s not going to -

VECTOR

Bite? Well, patient as I am, there are times when fishing requires a more…proactive approach!

“ACTIVE PURSUIT”!

SKARE.D

Ahh!

THE ARC OF VECTORS LINE IS SEEN TRAVELLING TOWARDS THE APPROACHING JETSTREAM OF THE SILVERFISH. THE TWO LINES INTERSECT IN AN EXPLOSION IN THE WATER.

VECTOR

RRrrrgh!

VECTOR PULLS THE FISH OUT OF THE WATER TOWARDS HIM, IT’S MOUTH IS NOW OPEN.

SKARE.D

Amazing!

VECTOR

Aww, I’m still practicing…Say…

HANDING THE FISH TO SKARE D, VECTOR REACHES INSIDE IT’S MOUTH AND PULLS OUT A DRAWSTRING BAG…

SKARE.D

What would your Grandpa be testing you for?

VECTOR

To see if I was worthy of a real heirloom…

This is the stuff of fisherman legends, Glepnir Spider silk, the strongest in the world, in other words –

An unbreakable fishing line!!

SAWTOOTH

Unbreakble string, huh? Well that sounds very interesting…

*BANG*

A CAGE BURSTS OUT THE LAKE AND CAPTURES VECTOR.

SKARE.D

Vector!

VECTOR

Uwaaa!

THE LAKE WATER RECEDES AS A MACHINE RESEMBLING A HOVERCRAFT AND A CRANE RISES FROM BENEATH THE LAKE.

VECTOR IS HOISTED UP TO THE TOP OF THE MACHINE’S MAST, BELOW HIS LIES A GIANT ARTICULATED HAND CLASPING A GIANT YOYO.

SAWTOOTH IS SITTING IN A COCKPIT AT THE BASE OF THE MACHINE.

SAWTOOTH

This will be very useful for my next invention!

SKARE.D

What did I tell you about taking away a treasure?

SAWTOOTH

Blah, blah,blah. I’m not taking it away, see he’s going with it!

GOI! How go the preparations?

GOI

3 minutes until all necessary calculations are complete, Sir!

VECTOR

Calcu –calculations for what?!

SAWTOOTH

The cannon of course! This lab’s not very mobile, so we have a nice big cannon to send stuff back to my factories.

VECTOR

WHAT?!

SKARE.D

You think I’m going to wait 3 minutes to let you do that?

SAWTOOTH

Of course not.

*BAM* THE GIANT YOYO SMASHES INTO THE GROUND BEFORE SKARE D. AN EXPLOSION EITHER SIDE.

SKARE.D

VECTOR! I’ll get you down from...whatever this is!

SAWTOOTH

Since you liked messing around with blast rock earlier, you can have lots of fun with my Yellow Obnoxious Youth Obliterator!

GOI

Or YOYO for short!

SAWTOOTH

I told you before Goi, we’re not calling it that…

Huh?

Skare D. has jumped onto the cock pit, and it running towards the mast. He tries to climb up it, but it is too smooth for a proper grip. Goi pops out a hatch and throws him back to the shore and the Yoyo attacks him again.

SKARE.D

Shoot! In that case…

Skare D. makes a dash to the bottom of the hovercraft and tries to kick the inflated bottom in an attempt to burst it. He sinks in, but the rubber is ultimately too tough and shoots him back to shore, and into the range of the yoyo.

SAWTOOTH

Wahahahahahaha! This machine was created by one of the world’s greatest minds – me! It has no weaknesses and is obviously no match for someone so-

SAWTOOTHS AGGRANDIZING IS INTERUPPTED BY SKARE D. REPEATEDLEY JUMPING UP AND DOWN ON THE DOME OF THE COCKPIT, TRYING TO SEE IF IT WILL BREAK.

SKARE.D

Hmm…

SAWTOOTH

CUT IT OUT!!

SAWTOOTH SPRINGS OPEN THE COCKPIT MOMENTARILY TO FIRE SKARE D. BACK TO SHORE ONCE AGAIN.

SAWTOOTH

DIDN’T I JUST SAY IT HAS NO WEAKNESSES?! WHY DO YOU KEEP TRYING?!

SKARE.D

I wouldn’t be much of an explorer if I couldn’t find some way to kick your butt!

SAWTOOTH

#!$%@!#!!

VECTOR

…

VECTOR STARTS LOOKING AROUND HIS CAGE TO HELP.

THE YOYO DANGLES FAR IN FRONT OF SKARE D, SPINNING.

SKARE.D

Missed me!

SAWTOOTH

That’s what you think!

THE YOYO WALKS THE DOG AND FLIES TOWARDS SKARE D. AND HITS HIM. SKARE D. SLIGHTLY BLASTED IS KNOCKED OUT THE WAY AND STRUGGLES TO GET UP.

SAWTOOTH

Well explorer, the only discovery you’ve made today is that you’re no match for the technological might of Sawtooth Indequano, world’s greatest..

VECTOR

XMARK! HEY! SKARE D.! X MARK!!

SAWTOOTH

What?

VECTOR

X MARKS THE SPOT UP HERE! I’VE FOUND ONE! AND WHEN THERE’S AN X MARK…

SKARE.D

…then it’s just a matter of heading towards it.

SKARE D. GETS UP AND DASHES BACK TOWARDS THE ENTRANCE OF THE CAVE.

SAWTOOTH

Too slow!

THE YOYO FIRES TOWARDS THE ENTRANCE TO CUT OFF SKARE D. AND THE EXPLOSION ERUPTS IN A DUST CLOUD.

GOI

Shall I pull back the YOYO Sir?

 SAWTOOTH

Let it be, Goi, Let it be. We shall bask in this glorious victory.

SKARE D, EMERGES FROM THE CLOUD, RUNNING UP THE YOYO’s TAUGHT STRING LIKE A TIGHT ROPE, UP TO THE GIANT HAND AND WHERE VECTOR IS.

SAWTOOTH

Basking’s over! Pull it back! Pull it back!

GOI

It’s stuck sir!!

THE GIANT YOYO IS WEDGED IN THE ENTRANCE OF THE CAVE.

SAWTOOTH

RRRRGH!

SAWTOOTH PULLS THE LEVER REALLY HARD, SNAPPING THE YOYO BACK INTO THE HAND, JUST AS SKARE D. REACHES VECTOR.

SKARE D. UNLATCHES THE CAGE JUST AS THE CANNON ABOVE VECTOR FIRES IT OFF INTO THE DISTANCE.

SKARE.D

So where’s this X Mark?

VECTOR

Just there!

VECTOR POINTS TO THE GIANT HAND. ON THE RING FINGER THERE IS A LARGE BUTTON WITH AN X ON IT WITH “RELEASE” WRITTEN UNDERNEATH.

SAWTOOTH

WHAT!? Big red X’s means STAY AWAY!!

SKARE D. JUMPS ON THE BUTTON. THE YOYO RING IS RELEASED FROM THE HAND SMASHING DIRECTLY INTO THE COCKPIT AND CAUSING A HUGE EXPLOSION.

THE MOBILE LAB SINKS BACK INTO THE LAKE.

SKARE D. AND VECTOR ARE FLOATING ON A PIECE OF WRECKAGE

VECTOR

Well…that’ll make an interesting piece of history to pass on someday…

SKARE.D

Heh..I think you’ll need a bigger piece of treasure than a fish to tell it…

SAWTOOTH

 History is only written by the victors, boys! And you haven’t won yet!

SAWTOOTH AND HIS GOONIES EMERGE FROM THE FAR SIDE OF THE LAKE IN A GIANT LIFE PRESERVER. SAWTOOTH IS CARRYING A BAZOOKA.

SKARE.D

Here’s one for you: those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

VECTOR

Yeah, try learning from the past 3 minutes and spare yourself a butt kicking!

SAWTOOTH

I already have! Eat this INSTANT-IMPACT-TORPEDO!

SAWTOOTH FIRES THE TORPEDO TOWARDS SKARE D. AND VECTOR! SKARE D. LOOKS SURPRISED, VECTOR SLIGHTLY DETERMINED

SAWTOOTH

With it’s incredible craftsmanship, speed and ability to explode on the slightest impact, this torpedo is unmatched in its...

SKARE.D

Amazing!!

SAWTOOTH

EH!?

Vector has calmly caught the torpedo on his fishing rod, Skare D. is awestruck! Vector is blushing

VECTOR

Well as good as a proactive approach is, there are times when a fisherman requires an extremely gentle touch, such as my hair’s breadth fishing technique…

SKARE.D

Now, what to do with such an incredible piece of craftsmanship?

VECTOR

Well, something as fine as this would be much better off in the private collection of the world’s greatest industrialist to be than in the smelly hands of a mere fisherman - Here you go!

VECTOR SLINGS THE TORPEDO BACK TO SAWTOOTH.

SAWTOOTH

 Ah.

AN EXPLOSION IS SEEN FROM DEEP IN THE FOREST CANOPY…

BACK AT THE GUILD OF EXPLORERS

MACABRE

Fascinating! A water propelled mechanical device in the shape of a fish! Your grandfather must have had talents to rival that of Sawtooth Indequano.

SKARE.D

Yeah - It was much faster than that torpedo!

VECTOR

Well that’s what I don’t get. He was handy, but not that handy. I’m starting to think maybe he inherited this fish too, like me.

SKARE.D

So what are you going to do with it Vector?

VECTOR

I think this treasure has a story to tell somewhere, but I’m not going to figure it out anytime soon. Skare D., Macabre?

MACABRE & SKARE.D

Yes?

VECTOR

I’d like to donate this to the Guild of Explorers – you could show the world! Maybe you, Skare D or someone, somewhere will discover the stories it has to tell!

MACABRE

Why, certainly!

CUT TO THE FISH IN A MUSEUM DISPLAY CASE, EXPLAINING WHAT IT IS, DONATED BY VECTOR AND DISCOVERED BY SKARE D. KAT.

SKARE.D

What a great addition! Thanks for letting me find your heirloom.

So Vector, are you off back to Okmotl?

VECTOR

Acutally I was wondering if I could travel with you a little more. I’m interested in all the secrets, histories and messages treasure has to tell. As well as the great fishing practice!

SKARE.D

Well you have a talent for finding an X Marks in unlikeliest places…Sure! Let’s find the world’s most fantastic treasures and discoveries together!

But first we’ve got to find an X Mark…

VECTOR

Because when there’s an X Mark then it’s just a matter of heading towards it, right?

 END OF EPISODE 1.

[xtramarks]

To read the first adventure X Marks: The Unusual Map here!

Welcome to the first X Marks X-Ray – while I’m preparing the next story, I thought I’d give you a behind the scenes look at the making of The Unusual Map. So without further ado, let’s talk about the first obstacle I faced:

In 2012 I decided to turn all my X Marks and Skare D’Kat ideas into a coherent story. However, when trying to come up with this first story I was always fixated on the idea of ‘The Big Quest’, introducing the main characters and the world of explorers over an 8 chapter story arc. I’m a big fan of serialized storytelling and continuity so I was convinced that ‘The Big Quest’ was the only way to do justice to the world of X Marks, the only problem I had was writing that first chapter…

As I drafted out synopsis after synopsis, terrifying thoughts would cross my mind: Would I have the passion to sustain a comic for 3-4 years just to set up the premise? What if the audience did not respond to the first chapter, how would it affect the following seven? We wouldn’t even see a piece of treasure until the 3rd or 4th chapter, and our first treasure map until after The Big Quest – how would new readers get an idea of the story’s premise?

I continued to go round in circles struggling to write the perfect beginning to ‘The Big Quest’ until one day rereading my Franco Belgian comic albums led to an epiphany – why not scrap the idea of ‘The Big Quest’ entirely and write the first story as a standalone adventure?

With only a self-contained story to think about, I found myself freed from the railroad of ‘The Big Quest’ and able to distill all my favourite elements of The Big Quest into a single adventure that clearly set up the premise – explorers, a treasure map, unusual allies, a race for the treasure, Skare D. struggling against all odds and a big machine!

Some concept art I made while to summarise the premise of X Marks.

It was pretty scary to throw out everything I had had planned for many years, there was the fear that those might have been all the ideas I had - but I have no doubt that doing so paved the way for the story I wanted to write all along. Getting used to scrapping a precious ideas and starting from scratch was no bad thing either, because shortly afterwards I got some important feedback on my first draft of X Marks: The Unusual Map…

 *Audible Gulp*

Our artist has finally completed his first draft, but has he overlooked a crucial elements? Find out in next week’s X Marks X Ray: The First Draft!

Want to see the final result? Read the first adventure X Marks: The Unusual Map here!

[xtramarks]

X Marks the Test!

A test comic I made just to see how making a comic would work. This and the first few pages were drawn on Bristol Board with brush pen.

Want to check out their real adventure? Head to xmarksthecomic.com!

[xtramarks]

Exploring some digital painting with Skare D!

[xtramarks]

X Marks is back for the new year! Wishing you all a Happy New Year for 2016! A big thanks to all of you who’ve been reading along, there’s lots of great adventure yet to come and I hope you enjoy it!

New readers should start here!

[xtramarks]

The Ghosts of the Past, Present, and Yet To Come!

I’m back at the family home for Christmas, so I’ve taken the opportunity to root through my folders of old drawings for more early X Marks work.

The Past

Before Vector, there was Twezzick! He was originally going to be a little rat-like sidekick to Skare D. He had a lightbulb on his tail, and would be useful in a pinch.

However stories change over time, and he seemed a little too similar to Skare D so he’s got the chop for now!

If he was to come back I’d probably rework his design and make him more rat-like and feral:

The Present

An even earlier Sawtooth and Goonie, from when Skare D. was moving from the Creepy Castle setting to the world of X Marks. I used to draw him a lot shorter! You’ll see more of these guys in the new year!

The Yet To Come

As it’s the holidays, here’s an Xmas card I made in 2004, we’ve got Skare D, Vector and...wait! Who’s that on the left? It’s a character I’m looking forward to introducing in the future - her design’s evolved a little too, but I can’t wait to get to her story!

That’s all for now, X Marks returns on January 3rd!

[xtramarks]

Sawtooth Indequano

Those shoulder pads, the helmet antennae, the crossed neckerchief - the core elements of Sawtooth Indequano have remained unchanged since his creation, along with his personality!

I look forward to showing you more of this guy in the new year!

[xtramarks]

2002 - A Space Oddity

Another old picture, another enormous hat for Vector! It’s even taller than Skare D. this time!

Around 2002 I was just starting to learn how to scan in my drawings and colour them with Paint Shop Pro.

[xtramarks]

X Marks on a Page!

Today’s Xtra Mark is a little peek into how I approach making my pages for X Marks. It’s probably my background in animation that really influences my process:

1. Rough Layout - Working from my thumbnails I make really rough sketches to get a feel for the flow of the page and check things are working.

2. Tie Down - Rough drawings that are more on model.

3. Clean Up - Another pass of the characters, checking proportions, and plussing poses.

4. Inking - The final line work. Sometimes I push the character poses a little further if they need it.

5. Colour - The final colour and any sound effects are added in.

Sometimes there are last minute changes while I work on a page, in panels 5, 7, and 8 the button was originally a pull ring, but I found the pose of Skare D. pulling just wasn’t clear enough so I changed it to a big round button instead!

That’s all for this week. If you want to see what happens next check out the lates page of X Marks here!

If you’ve just discovered this and want to know what X Marks is all about then why not start from the beginning!

[xtramarks]

Sketchcrawl from Haperkrenf

Haperkrenf, the colorful port town of the country of Ichor!

As we get a brief peek of Haperkrenf this week, I thought I’d share some exploratory sketches that I made to try and get a feel of the place and it’s inhabitants. A lot of inspiration comes from mediterranean port towns, and Cycladic architechture, which I had the opportunity to see during a Classic Civ trip in Senior School.

While Haperkrenf is a port town, it and the other hubs of Ichor operate closer to city-states, with the Great Age of Exploration establishing strong trading bonds between them. While life in the cities is relatively stable, in the countryside and forests outside their respective jurisdictions, it’s a little more of a wild frontier!

[xtramarks]

Evening Explorer Warm Up Drawing

[xtramarks]

Another side of the Guild of Explorers

Here’s a finalised sketch of the Guild of Explorers first seen here. This is not it’s earliest incarnation - my first sketches had it looking more like a giant treasure chest - but that’s an Xtra Mark for another time!.

From this side we get a look at the Old Lightouse on the left, so called because it is the oldest part of the building! The large set of doors on the ground floor are the tradesman’s entrance, its size also allows for larger artifacts to be moved directly into the grand exhibition hall. Up the stairs we find the visitor’s entrance allowing the public to view the Guild’s latest discoveries!

That’s it for now! If you want to see what goes on inside the guild then make sure to read X Marks!

[xtramarks]

Vector the Third - You’d be in a hurry too if you waited 14 years to start your adventure!

Here’s a Vector from 2001, drawn with fine liner, then scanned in and colour with Paint Shop Pro 5 - remember that?! This fella sports a slightly more practical hat these days which you can see in the latest page of X Marks!

[xtramarks]

X Markers

I drew this Skare D’ Kat 10 years ago during my first year of university. It was also the first time I used tried out markers, and I haven’t stopped using them since! I’ve revised his design bit by bit over the past years, but I think that’ll be an Xtra Mark for another time... Read X Marks at xmarksthecomic.com or start from the beginning here!

[xtramarks]

Thumbnailing - if you have really big hands!

My pages start off as a 2″x3″ thumbnails before I rough them out at full size, mainly to get a feeling for the flow of the action and to see if I can tell the story clearly on the page. Sometimes the panels are blank when I haven’t quite settled on a joke or dialogue, but as long as I have the start point and the end point of a page clear in my mind, it lets me explore a few different ways of getting there! Wanna see the finished pages? Start reading here or visit www.xmarksthecomic.com

[xtramarks]

Explorers from 2000 B.C. (Before Construction)

These are the earliest drawings of Skare D’ Kat that I have. He was originally created for a game called ‘Creepy Castle’ that I made in The Games Factory, where after making his way through a haunted hallway, a treacherous library and a secret labaratory he would have to face an enormous killer donut! While ‘Creepy Castle’ never had a sequel, I kept drawing this yellow-bellied explorer and trying him out in new settings!