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Just a little something that I needed to get off my chest and for anyone who has ever felt this way â¤ď¸âđŠš
Warnings: not a fanfic (though the lats guy did remind me of Az in some ways), written at 4 am and not really edited.
Reading
She used to love reading. There wasnât a day you wouldnât catch her with a book in her hands. Romance and fantasy were where her heart usually settled, the words filling her head with new worlds. She found solace in the comedic relief characters, making her smile through the tears. She found strength in the protagonists that inspired her to keep going just for a bit longer. She felt seen in the eyes of the outcasts, the villains that werenât all bad. She built her own found family with the characters she had met, and for once she wasnât so alone.
But then she met someone, and finally she thought, her time had come to live what she had only read about. But he didnât choose her. She cried and moved on, still holding on tight to her books and the hope of one day finding a love like the ones she had read about.
A second guy came into her life. He was funny. He had asked her out, so it was a safe bet, right? She knew he was interested. One day he never texted back. It just wasnât meant to be. She moved on; it wasnât easy. He had also chosen someone else. But as always she had her books to keep her company, her little family of fictional characters, and the homes from all the worlds she had visited.
Time passes, same old story. This guy seemed different, tho. He was shy but sweet and so understanding. He didnât text first though (maybe that shouldâve been her first clue, but oh well). She managed the courage, she decided to be brave. She texted first. He responded. Everything was going well, if a bit slow. He just wasnât a great texter. He just had too much on his plate, too much on his mind. They met a couple of times and she was vulnerable, letting his eyes pose where no one elseâs had. She thought it meant something. In retrospect, she shouldnât have assumed.
She waited for him to be the one to ask her out. She was always the one asking. He didnât. Knowing in her heart that she deserved better, she started to move on, but this time, after never being enough to be chosen like her beloved characters were chosen, she found herself unable to concentrate on the pages; meaningless words that spelled out lies. She used to love reading until she realized how far from reality she had gone and now, after meeting the villains whoâd burn the world for their beloved and the heroes whoâd sacrifice everything for their love, the friends whoâd stick around no matter what, how can she be ok with realityâs slap on the face? She just found herself resenting the books that once brought her comfort, and was unable to pick a book again.
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Hi!
Since I started writing fanfics again and want to keep practicing, I would love to take requests for more Az x Reader (ACOTAR) fanfics! So if anyone has any, please lemme know :)
(it can be angst, fluff, and honestly any tropes, but for now I won't be posting anything with a lot of smut since I don't really know how to write it yet lol Iâll get there eventually)
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Just Don't Give Up
Azriel (ACOTAR) x FReader (Human)
WC: 1.5K (Oneshot)
Summary: When it all becomes too much to keep going, our favorite Shadowsinger shows up just in time.
Warnings: Mentions of (and attempt at) suicide, angsty, I think, canon divergent, not proofread, lol, hurt/comfort, English is not my first language. Let me know if I should add anything <3
N/A: Hi! This is my first ACOTAR fanfic, so constructive criticism is really appreciated :) It's been a while since I've written fanfiction, but recently, I've been obsessed with Az, so here we are.
⌠. ăâş ă . ⌠. ăâş ă . âŚ
The night sky was blinding in the best way possible. Another year had passed, and you could see from the distance how your friends were celebrating another Starfall, a drunken joy filling the air, their voices full of excitement. The preparations started early this year, and the night court went all the way in, with concerts throughout the city and free drinks for all its citizens. You could tell the party would go on until sunrise and wondered, not for the first time tonight, why werenât you down there with them?
âIs everything alright?â Az had asked you earlier that day. You nodded, smiling brightly at him.
âJust had a long night.â He nodded, not fully convinced, but he didnât push the subject, which you were grateful for. You didnât need to ruin the mood because of your problems.
 Nightmares from under the mountain still plagued your sleep, making it almost impossible to get any rest, and it was starting to show. The things that you had to see while not being able to do anything haunted your every second.
You didn't expect to survive when you escaped from the human lands, but Rhys found you not long after you crossed the border. He wanted you to turn around, warning you that Prythian wasnât safe, but the alternativeâgoing back to townâwas not an option; anything would be better than that, even certain death. So you stubbornly refused to, claiming you knew how to take care of yourself. The problem was that one of Amaranthaâs minions watched the interaction and wanted you for its own entertainment, so Rhys had to pretend that he had taken a liking to you and wanted you as his pet.
Word got to Amarantha, and she wasnât particularly happy with her plaything taking a liking to someone else, so she punished him while you watched, unable to do anything. Useless.
After that first time, Amarantha decided it was a fun idea to have his âbelovedâ pet watch the suffering she had caused. So, every time you did anything she deemed disrespectful (which was basically everything), a torture session would take place. You couldnât help but think that if you had just stayed where you belonged, Rhys wouldnât have suffered as much as he did. It was your fault, even when he insisted that it wasnât.
Shaking your head, you try to get rid of the memories.
You turn your eyes to the stars, the same ones you prayed to every night. Always the same wish without any answer from them and wonder, like you so often do, whether you should still be here.
The inner circle had never treated you as less or excluded you from anything. They were your support when no one else would lend a helping hand, and with the years, they became your family, yet even now, you still feel like an outsider. You werenât Illyrian like Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel. Heck, you werenât even Fae to begin with. You ended up being in the way most of the time.
You took your jacket off, letting the cold breeze hug your bare arms, where scars of silent battles painted them. A shiver ran down your spine as you stepped closer to the edge of the building.
In the human lands, your family never cared for you, and even when you left, no one mourned your âdeathâ. Here in Velaris, you had people looking out for you, yet you felt like you didnât quite fit in.
Would they notice? Would they care if you just⌠disappeared? Fae's lives were so endless that compared to them, humansâ existence must seem⌠insignificant.
Another step. You had slipped from the party when it all became too much. Your feet were moving on their own accord. Another shiver, another step. They would probably mourn for a while but then move on. You could stop the nightmares and the pain, and they could move on; Rhys wouldnât have a living reminder of every time he was abused and had to endure the shame. Or when he was beaten, and you had to patch him up with your scarce medical knowledge.
Az and Cass could stop pretending that you didnât cause their brother more suffering. That your recklessness didnât make things worse. That they didnât believe you werenât brave enough to help him.
You are standing on the border of the building now, eyes fixed on the stars above, âPlease,â you whispered. âPlease.â You werenât sure what you were asking for any more. Relieve from the pain, the guilt? Maybe you didnât need an answer from the stars to fulfill that. You could hear the music all the way up here, a serene tune drowning the rest of the noise. You start walking on the edge, arms stretched wide to give yourself a bit more balance. One step, then another.
Letting go⌠should you⌠just one stepâŚ
A cold grip settles on your ankle and another on your wrist, pulling you carefully away from the border while a sad smile paints your lips.
You were used to Azâs shadows clinging to you from time to time, so you welcomed the touch but didnât budge. You knew their master was standing a couple of steps behind you. âYou know, you arenât very sneaky for a spymaster.â
âI was looking for you.â His voice wasnât more than a whisper. âI was worried since you left so early.â
âIâm fineâ was all you said. A lie you had perfected over time.
He led out a humorless laugh. âYou donât seem fine.â You hear his steps, careful but loud, so you know he is getting closer. âCan you please step away, Sunshine?â You tense at the use of your nickname. So familiar by now, yet so unfitting.
âItâs fine, Az. Iâm just admiring the night sky.â You can feel him right behind, you know. âItâs a beautiful sight.â
âY/N⌠why are you here?â You knew he meant at the rooftop, but your mind couldnât help going to a darker place.
You take a moment to answer, weighing your options. After a couple of silent minutes, you decide to be honest. âDid you knowâŚâ You pause for a second to try to stabilize your breathing. âThat I was not only responsible for treating the High Lord's wounds? I was also tasked to inflict them.â You choke at your words, your throat feeling like it's closing, and itâs getting hard to breathe, but you push the words out anyway. âI am responsible for every scar that never fully healed, for every messed-up nightmare he has at night. I can still feel the way his muscles tensed every time I inflicted pain.â The world was spinning before your eyes, and the words were coming out in short breaths. You were gasping for air, struggling to get any inside your lungs, but still, the words wouldnât stop coming out of your mouth.
âIâm the reason he suffered. If I hadnât been there that day, or maybe if I had put up with my life at the⌠maybe he wouldnât⌠he saw his⌠and I couldnât⌠anythingâŚâ you close your eyes again. âHow am I supposed to live here and accept all his help and love wheââ
A strong hand grabs you by your waist, interrupting your words and yanking you away from your doom. âIt wasnât your fault.â Azâs whisper came breathless, and his arms, though firmly hugging you, were shaking.
Tears were running down your face, staining his shirt. A protective wing wrapped around you, offering shelter. Giving you a protection you didnât deserve. âI need the guilt to stop, Az. Iâm a broken reminder of his pain, and selfishly, I canât take it anymore.â You felt so tiny, so⌠shattered, fragments of yourself falling to the floor with every tear shed. He was silent for a moment, trying to hold you together while you crumbled.
Then his words reach your ears. âHe once told me you remind him of his sister, you know?â One of his hands starts caressing your hair while the other firmly supports you against his body. âThat your bad jokes to lighten the dreary mood and your constant presence were some of the things that kept him from giving up. That thanks to you, he was able to survive long enough to find his mate.â A loud sob shakes your entire body, hands fisting his shirt as you grab onto him for dear life. âDo you know why I call you âSunshineâ?â Az pauses, so you shake your head in response. âRhys had been suffering long before you got there, and when he told us how you gave him hope, even when you yourself were silently breaking apart, how you would sing to him and brighten the mood with your warm voice, I knew. I knew you were like the sun he had been deprived of for so long. You saved my brother in the way that mattered the most. You were his light, and ever since you started living with us, you became my light, too.â
You were speechless at his words; raising your head from his chest, you looked into those beautiful hazel eyes and found nothing but tenderness. âYou are my light, and Iâm sorry it took so long for me to say it, Sunshine.â He places a kiss on your forehead. âI wonât say it will be easy, but I promise to be here with you. We will get through this. I promise, ok?â You nod as his grip tightens. âJust donât give up, Sunshine.â
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I know some fic writers get stressed about writing tropes they think are too popular or overdone, and I need you all to know that I just spent 4 hours reading every iteration of the same exact fic plot I could find, and they all brought me an indescribable amount of joy. Listen. Listen. Sometimes you want cakes of many flavours and sometimes you want Nine Carrot Cakes
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Look, if you don't like a movie/tv show/book, you can give your opinion, but that doesn't give you the right to insult others :3
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The reason why Snoke didn't see coming his death... (Theory)
Ok, so. I remember that after TLJ came out, one of my classmates (who didn't like the movie) said that it was illogical how Snoke died, because being one of the most powerful beings in the galaxie, he should have felt Ben's intentions.
Now, at that moment I didn't know how to justify that, I was just like "Maybe he (Kylo/Ben) is just really good at hiding his feelings". Even I wasn't completely convinced with my answer, but we left it like that.
Now, I was looking at some old reylo posts when it hit me. Ik a lot of people might have realised this a long time ago, but I didn't overthink that much in the moment. And after watching TROS and understanding more the bond, I got to a conclusion.
I'm now 99% sure of the reason why Snoke didn't realise what Ben was doing.
Here it comes...
He (Snoke) thought he was sensing *her* feelings inside of him, or maybe just mixed the emotions, not being able to differentiate Rey's from Kylos.
As I said, a lot of fans probably already realized this before, buuut if you hadn't, here it is :3
P.s. sorry for my english, not my mother tongue xd
#reylo#snoke#episode ix#tlj#kylo x rey#kylo ren#reylo fandom#rey skywalker#theory#tlj imagine#adam driver#the last jedi
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This just made me cry again
the belonging you seek is not behind youâ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â it is ahead.
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Spider-man: Homecoming (2017) dir. Jon Watts
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In the novelization, Snoke thinks about how Rey might have been a better apprentice than Ben. So, I thought, maybe if Luke found her and took her in, as a result Snoke would have turned his attention to her over Ben.
[I might make a part 2 for this one!]
I wanna dedicate this to @dvrksister who is always such a kind person and is a very talented writer!
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đ

(Star Wars: Attack of the Clones Junior novelization by Patricia Wrede)
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I donât know if youâve discussed this before, but do you think it is kind of prophetic or meaningful that Ben killed Snoke with the legacy Skywalker saber, and not his own red saber? What meaning do you think that has?
âoh, isnât it wonderful that when he went to kill the villain, he used the Good Blue Family Legacy Lightsaber to do it!!â
YES. It is. My heart is JOY just from that. I love everythingâŚ
But thereâs another level to it, too.
This isnât just the âLegacy Lightsaber,â this is Anakin Skywalkerâs Romantic Lightsaber. This lightsaber is a symbol of marital love.
This is the same lightsaber that Anakin Skywalker gave to his wife Padme to prove his love to her, saying to her, âThis weapon is my life,â - putting it, his life, and his love, entirely in her hands.
I canât also stop thinking about how this same lightsaber, Anakin Skywalkerâs Romantic Blue Lightsaber would NOT come to Ben when he called it in the snow on Starkiller. This lightsaber seems to have a will of its own. In that moment, Ben was unworthy of what the lightsaber means, and it went to Rey instead, just like it was given to Padme.
But in the throne room in The Last Jedi, when Benâs heart only wanted to save and protect Rey, the romantic lightsaber obeyed Ben perfectly.Â
And then he gave it over to her freely, completely, just like Anakin did to Padme.
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đ Anakin
PADMĂâS PARENTSâ HOUSE STAR WARS EPISODE â
Ą: DELETED SCENE
Random Gif Edit- 42/?
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One of my favorites quotes đ
â Maz Kanata
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Meeeee
REBLOG IF YOU WANT A LOVE LETTER FROM A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN YOUR ASK BOX NOW
AND I WILL DO EVERY SINGLE ONE, BASED ON YOUR BLOG.
EVERY
SINGLE
ONE
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An idea:
Kyloâs introduction scene for IX is him training with various droids and shit (no people, our boy is lonely). Some of the droids have holograms showing well known enemies to the First Order as whatâs supposed to be a motivator. He slices through most of them and then swings to strike the next one but pauses moments before he touches it. Itâs Rey (because she is like public enemy number 1 now that Kyloâs told everybody that she managed to kill Snoke, his guards, and best Kylo all at once). His saber drops to his side as he walks towards the hologram. His free hand lifts to touch her face, and he looks at her like he did in the elevator in TLJ. As his fingers touch the hologram, it disappears, his fingers close around nothing, and heâs left only with regret.
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â¤â¤â¤



Reylo x Anidala
Parallels in episode VII and episode VIII.
 and parallels that may happen in episode IX.
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