Angela. XXIII. Blessed ♡ // Psalm 16:8Simplicity intertwined with complexity.Keepin' it classy & chasing dreams.RN.Extreme wanderlust. "Be brave, take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.
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You know it’s just really fucking pathetic who you’ve become. I’m honestly so over your shit. I mean it. All this has put everything I’ve learned about myself and other people to the test. I’m not afraid of letting go of people I know damn well are not worth my time. I can cut you off real quick if I honestly want to. If you’re not good for me, then buh-bye. It was good while it all lasted, but you’re seriously just going down such a worthless road. You have no idea how much shit I’ve put up with you. Well it ends here for me. Hit me up when you’re ready to stop being so pathetic and a joke, which will probably be never. I’m truly done being there for you. I used to feel so obligated to be there for whatever you needed. Now not anymore. You’ve been such a piece of shit lately and I’m done. Get your fucking shit together.
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Anxiety
Just thought I’d share this with my fellow followers, but I’ve suffered from a mild anxiety/OCD for awhile now, but it came full force a couple of years ago exacerbated by a certain situation. However, since then, I’ve been able to find the help I needed and was taught how to cope and kinda “mind fuck” those stupid thoughts within my own mind so they don’t affect me that badly.
My anxiety is always there, it’s just some days it’s kept at bay better than others. However I must say I am much better than I used to be a few years ago thanks to techniques from therapy. However, these past few weeks for some reason it’s kinda been louder than usual. And being my innocent self and the fact that it was kept at bay for a long long time, I kind of freaked out and forgot how to cope with it. Kinda what happens, at least to me. I get comfortable and it comes back and I act like I don’t know what to do. It’s frustrating. Nobody can tell form the outside how we feel, but anxiety or any mental health issue is just so loud in our brains isn’t it? It’s just fucking annoying. But, after getting my shit together, I wanted to just talk about some of the things that have helped. I gained this from my therapy sessions a few years ago, but it’s also stuff you see on the internet these days because thankfully, mental health awareness is getting bigger and bigger! <3 Anywhooo, here we go:
Do not avoid the thoughts. Acknowledge them. Say hello to their presence.
... but do not associate them with yourself. Look at them as a stranger walking by. Are you that stranger just because you see them? No. Same with these thoughts. Those thoughts are not you. I repeat. Just because it’s in your mind, does not automatically mean it defines you. Separate yourself from these thoughts/anxiety.
When acknowledging these thoughts, entertain them. You will find your anxiety about them high at first. But then really entertain them. Play it out in your head. This kind of goes along with not avoiding them. That was my issue that my therapist had identified in me that changed my life. When I got these “scary bad thoughts”, I would just try to brush it off, but little did I know how much that fed my anxiety because it was then my brain was being told “this thought is dangerous, so make sure she is fearful whenever this thought comes around”. But it’s not true. It’s just one generated thought out of the million you’re always having. This one just seemed to.. get your attention, didn’t it?
I know these are just 3 tips, but they are 3 tips that always help me the most. There’s endless lists online and I know this isn’t one of them. But these 3 helped me the most. Acknowledging and entertaining, but separating. I know everyone is different but for my specific anxiety/OCD mix, this helped me a lot and I hope it helps someone out there too. <3 Take care of your mental health guys. Nothing to be ashamed about, ever!
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I promise, I’ll get out of this town one day. And it’ll be my fresh new start. Away from the disappointments, failed friendships, and just overall stagnant state. I’m making do with what I can for now, but when that day comes.. it’ll be the first chapter of a new book in my life.
I’ve lost trust in so many people. But I’ve also learned to stop caring and putting so much emotion towards it. I know exactly what’s happening, but I just choose to not speak out about it anymore. It’s all temporary anyway, maybe God is slowly letting me become de-attached to this place so I can easily move on when the day comes. Can’t wait.
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sometimes being a nurse means clocking out, ripping off your scrubs - and becoming an anonymous person who isn’t responsible for critical decisions surrounding human life.
a nurse. any nurse. an anonymous one, even. (via dancingnurse-ed)
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California.
I remember at the naive age of 14, I visited California and knew right then and there that I would one day want to call it my home. Everything about it: the weather, the people, the atmosphere.. it just felt so perfect. I made it well known to my family that it was my place that I truly wanted to be, and as much as they knew that very well, they probably thought it was just a small little wish coming from an immature little teenager. But since that time I’ve continued to daydream about the future days I would come back. I daydreamed about being old enough to go there on a vacation with friends. I daydreamed about showing my future boyfriend, and hoping he would fall in love with it too. But I never would’ve thought that it would all come true one day... ♡
My feelings still haven’t changed. Instead, now that I’m older, they’ve only developed into a stronger, raging, urge to really make California my home. In between the 3 times I’ve visited California, I’ve tried to convince myself that I’ll just settle in Jersey, it’s easier, convenient, whatever. But since this recent vacation, I’ve made up my mind:
California will be home one day.
No more daydreaming, hoping, wishing. It will. It’s just a matter of the next few years consisting of hard work and dedication. I’ve never felt like Jersey was my home. It may sound like I’m making that up, but, I mean it. I just never felt that homey vibe around here. But California is truly where my heart feels warm and complete, and I honestly truly believe I left it behind on this trip.
"You'll never leave where you are, until you decide where you'd rather be." - Angela Brown Oberer
Everyone has dreams and goals. I’ve had my fair share of them, but this one? It’s taking the cake. California, I cannot wait to see you again and officially call you home.
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Happiness is when you feel good about yourself without needing everyone else’s approval.
Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
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If someone made it clear how much they hate you, wouldn’t you do anything to stay out of their way?
Let that sink in, honey. Your words and actions have made it very clear and I have happily been moving along. Understand this: you do not *do not* push people away and think it��s their responsibility to run back to you. We are at an age where we should appreciate the people we care about, not act childish and push them and expect them to run back. No. So please, grow up.
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