ylanisalcedo

[ylanisalcedo]

Recipe: Marinated Chicken & Homemade Tortillas for Taco Night

Two months ago I shared tacos I made on Instagram inspired by the Kitchen Club Podcast. They made some roasted cauliflower and paprika chickpea tacos with pickled red cabbage and chimichurri that looks delicious but at the very end of their caption, something else caught my eye just as much. Before I go into it, one thing to know about me is my love for recipes and recreating them in my kitchen. And if it’s to make anything from scratch then even better.

Cooking, when it’s not the mundane part of remembering to have meals during the day before I forget to eat when I’m busy, is therapeutic. Prepping the ingredients as I dive into creating a dish brings me pure joy and clears my mental space. And honestly, I love how I could fully focus on getting a meal together during the time it takes. I zone out, put some music on, and always make sure there’s ample time to make it right without rushing because no one wants a rushed meal anyway.

I’m planning to make the whole taco dish from the Kitchen Club Podcast but what I was motivated to make right away were the homemade tortillas from Taste of Home they also made. I had what I needed already in the kitchen, some chicken I wanted to marinate, cabbage in the fridge, and other taco toppings I love. They’re easy to make with ingredients including all-purpose flour, water, olive oil, and salt. Measurements for all can be found here.

These homemade tortillas might be the only tortillas I want at taco night, forever. They’re simple, flavorful, soft, fluffy although rolled out thin, and too good to not keep making. And with the seasoned chicken on a spread of guacamole sauce + a hint of sour cream, topped with red cabbage and a dollop of taco sauce, it’s one of the best ones I’ve had. While I don’t have the exact measurements for the seasoning of the chicken since I put it together at the moment, I’ll still share what I used, how many chicken pieces, and how long to marinate it for.

Marinated Chicken

Chicken breast is one of my favorites to use when having tacos. For the chicken breasts I had I sliced them small enough so the pieces didn’t fall out of the tortillas immediately or made it too difficult to fold while eating the tacos themselves. Of course, when you’re putting it together use your better judgment and liking.

Below you’ll find a list of everything you need so you can season to your liking. Marinate at least 1 hour.

Ingredients

2 chicken breasts

Kosher salt

Ground cracked pepper

Dry oregano

Paprika

Olive oil

2 cloves of garlic

2 tsp of fresh lime juice

While my love languages are mainly quality time and physical touch, I consider food on the same level because of the physicality that goes into and creating delicious meals not only for myself but for my family too. I hope these chicken tacos I’ve shared can bring you as much fulfillment and joy as they have for me. If you haven’t tried to make homemade tortillas before or haven’t found the right recipe for it then make it a goal to make the one shared here for lunch or dinner!

[ylanisalcedo]

Too Many Emotions? Here's What You Can Do.

Nothing today looks picture perfect but in reality, does it ever? In the midst of all that’s going on, the COVID-19 pandemic, plans been put to a halt, jobs have been lost, careers have shifted, couples are finding their love languages even more, families are learning to deal differently with each other, lives are being lost, there are changes in every corner of our lives leaving a long list of emotions that can be difficult to bear with and others embraced for the better. I personally take opportunities like this to reflect on my own life, sit with my feelings, and come to terms with what’s out of my control. But with everything else flooding our minds, social media feeds, and conversations there’s no way lasting effects aren’t left imprinted time and time again.

Because May was Mental Health Awareness Month I wanted to post this the last day of the month but the heaviness going on in our world today has put things on halt and I could only get around to share at this moment.

I want to use this simply as a reminder that looking after yourself while having a support system physically, emotionally, and spiritually surrounding you is imperative to your mental well-being but I know not everyone has this conveniently. Wherever you find yourself today know that you will get through this whether that’s in the moment or somewhere in the future.

And even if you feel that’s cliché to say it’s the truth. As the renowned quote says, “You didn’t come this far to only make it this far.”

If you need help getting perspective of your emotions while finding what you can do to make things better, I have a list I’ve compiled to be a source for you. There are 25 emotions and ways I find it to not necessarily get over them but get through them and live with them when they’re present.

Anger

This strong feeling can live all around us from our own feelings to the feelings of others. It can take up space, block the awareness of the root of feelings, and blind you in a way that doesn’t create the outcome we want. In times of anger, there isn’t one way of dealing with it but what I’ve seen work best for me is to take a step back. Go inward and figure out where I want to go from there.

It’s no use of me saying or doing the wrong thing to a person who might’ve gotten me angry or a situation that has spiked this feeling just to come back and feel guilty for it. Because I will feel this way if that happens.

Do you know the power it takes to step away from something when you’re angry? A lot. Think about what you can gain when you don’t act on impulse.

Boredom

Being bored doesn’t come up only when you can’t find what to do with your day. It’s essentially the lack of being enthusiastic about anything. I can’t remember the last time I said I was bored but I have plenty of moments where I feel a lack of enthusiasm. When I get this way what I like to do is go for a walk, read, get my body moving in some way, and when that doesn’t work I tap into something creative that requires hands-on effort.

That could like look writing in a journal, painting, sketching, or playing a game.

Calm

If staying calm doesn’t come easy it’s because some part of you wants to control an outcome that can or cannot exist. To be calm isn’t simultaneous with being compliant with injustice or showing traits of not caring about what’s in front of you. It’s the absence of bringing confrontation to the table of the highest quality.

I’m not a person that sits in a place of perfect calmness but I am a person who always strives for it. Every single day. Finding what makes me most calm when I feel restless, hopeless, tired, nervous, sad, and other similar feelings is what brings me back to moments where I could be tranquil more than anything. Pinpoint what works for you and keep going.

Confidence

Even in uncertainty, you can still feel confident. There are areas in my life that leave my confidence low but by some form of grace, I’m also able to notice the ones that can truly ground me. My confidence stems from being confident about writing words for my personal and professional work, my undying love for my partner, the unconditional affection for my family, my drive to see my dreams become a reality, my passion behind finding peace, my constant inner work, my efforts even in the face of challenges, and the love that pours into my life from all directions.

Content

This feeling comes with acceptance and a release of managing all that surrounds you. It can sometimes even bring a form of happiness. Most of the time when I feel content about anything it allows me to be in the moment and just be.

To achieve this feeling I make sure I get aware of my feelings and why I feel the way I do. Then I try and think what’s brought me into that moment and then release all areas that make me feel something negative.

Creative

Writing is my creative outlet but it doesn’t mean it’s the only one I have. You can get creative with just about anything and it doesn’t have to be about your career, hobby, or the arts. Thinking about approaching situations differently brings the creative skill of coming up with original ideas. Rearranging your furniture in order to make any room of your home feel and look better is a form of creativity too.

When I feel my most creative it’s when I’m putting action to the thoughts in my mind. That could be from writing a new piece, to coming up with a new design for my room or looking for different ways I could express my feelings to and for anyone. 

Defense

If I don’t check-in with myself I could often fall into an automatic response of defense. Getting defensive is needed in the moments of protection from an opposing view or side but it’s not a state to be in all the time. You have to fight against it.

Being in defense usually puts you in a negative state even when intentions are to make your views seen and valued. One of the things I try and do is be mindful of what I’m getting defensive about.

Has a person just hit a nerve that has nothing to do with what’s going on? Am I being triggered on purpose? What’s the other person going through? Am I missing the point? Is this an impulse reaction? Can I explain rather than respond defensively to be heard?

Each moment is different but that doesn’t mean getting defensive is always the answer. Pick your battles wisely.

Depression

I’ve found myself depressed for many different reasons but that doesn’t mean I’ll allow myself to wallow in it too long if I could help it. Because of loss of some form, an accident, weight gain, and other factors I’ve met depression up close and personal. You could listen to that experience in my podcast episode Self-Growth & the Journey Leading it with Ylani Salcedo, but I want to talk about what I continuously do to keep my mental and emotional state as balanced as possible.

I feel everything intensely. Too intense for what I’d like to experience but it’s the nature of who I am. I come back to journaling, meditation, and prayer every single morning before beginning my day. Without those 3 I would wake up most mornings drained. I try and eat the right foods. I stay off social media when people flood negative news and arrogant opinions. I read books. I vent when I need to. I do yoga. I look within. I take walks. I cry. I mute group texts. And most importantly I put things into action.

Even when it’s a small amount I hold myself accountable. Accountability is a big thing for depression. I think big acts get the most attention but don’t ever forget that even if it feels like feeble progress you’re making progress. Isn’t that the point?

Empathy

To be an empath is to have characteristics that aren’t necessarily seen in everyone. As a person who feels deep, empathy is a place I visit time and time again.

I’ll cry with you before those tears reach your eyes. I’ll be enraged with you the moment unfairness steps in. I’ll carry feelings that later on I notice aren’t mine. It’s a blessing to be this way but it requires me to always stay on top of what I’m absorbing.

It’s not always healthy and it’s not always right to take on everything without making sure I’m okay. What I do to make it less impactful is to put boundaries up against certain people and conversations. Some won’t even notice how they affect you so it’s important to set those in place. Another thing is to stay attuned by what gets me feeling most. If I don’t know what that is there’s more of a chance of being flooded with too many emotions that’ll cause overwhelm.

Grateful

There’s so much to be grateful for even in moments where it doesn’t feel that way. Firstly the breath is in your lungs and a pulse still going through your veins is good enough to be grateful.

I have a WORDAFUL journal I write in every day of what I’m grateful for. Sometimes it’s people, feelings, situations, and other times it’s things like the sky, air, and clarity. Seeing it on paper has a greater impact on your thought patterns and actions.

Grief

I used to think grief was based on the feeling you get after someone you love and care for has passed away. Experience has shown me that it’s that, losing a job, losing a friendship, losing a romantic relationship, losing a game, having troubling letting go, losing your rights, and so many other forms of loss. It’s deep sorrow and that can be felt for so many different aspects of our life.

What I try and do during moments of grief is disconnect with the noise that could be people, areas, social media, and my own distractions to just feel it out. Feeling every possible thing at the moment comes with resistance but it’s the only way to get through anything. I give myself permission to take it easy. There isn’t a step by step to get through grief but knowing yourself and how you process anything can help release pent-up emotions.

Happiness

Just like grateful, happiness can always be a part of your life. Right now think of the smallest thing in your life going right. Focusing on the positive things in your life makes it 10x easier to be happy. I’m most happy when I let go of demands or what I think I should be doing for my life and get real about what I could do with what I have. I’m also happier when the people I love the most show and love me back in their love language.

Thinking about what doesn’t exist in your life doesn’t bring value to anything, being present does.

Inadequacy

Feeling inadequate comes from a feeling of lack. Whether that’s a lack of an ability or a quality you bring to the table. This emotion comes up for me most when I find myself falling short on my job and relationships but what I like thinking about, before I fall into that rabbit hole, is who’s putting demands on me to meet some certain standard?

Most of the time it’s the conversations in my head and my own judgments that lead me to feel such insufficiency within my life. It’s not my actual value but my inner discussion that can flare this up. What I like to do, as many of the harder emotions, is to take a step back and become objective with myself. I ask myself if I were to have a friend with my ways and skills would I speak to them this way? More importantly, would I view them this way? Probably not.

What we say to ourselves matters, always. And we must find a way to change the script in our head when it’s siding with the negative untruths.

Indifference

Treading carefully in the light of indifference is needed when it comes to things that actually matter on a human level. But when it comes to your well-being indifference might be what you have to tap into to not get drowned out by other emotions. This can happen when someone hurts you that leads you to let go of that situation and the hope their actions are different.

When I feel indifferent I check myself to make sure it’s not indifference to something that isn’t in my world or personal experiences that will bring a problem to others. If I’m indifferent about something like the weather then that’s not too much of a big deal. But if I’m feeling indifference on an emotional level too then that’s worth looking into.

It’s all about perspective.

Inspired

The distanced time on a global level can bring a lot of inspiration in your life. You might’ve tapped into a hobby or skill that you haven’t had the time to in years. Or it’s shifted thoughts on how to live life in a completely different way. I think that we should keep this inspiration alive even after we go back to whatever normalcy will be.

I’m most inspired when I share moments with those I love and can get out of my regular routine. When I dive into something creative with no expectation but just to create that’s when inspiration rises most in me. What’s inspired you most lately?

Joy

Even when this feeling could get robbed from us in dire situations it’s not an emotion that isn’t ours to have. There’s a right to have joy in moments that bring you this great feeling.

When joy isn’t really present because nothing seems nor feels like it’s going right I come back to the fact that I’m alive. That my family is doing well and that we’re all doing the best we can with what we have.

Lonely

Loneliness amplifies the feeling of isolation. Now more than ever this is felt across the world as we’ve entered into 2020 with more time away from each other and the normalcy of our days. This doesn’t come up too often for me but even then this emotion doesn’t miss to enter my life.

If I’m feeling lonely I do my best to reach out to those I could have a conversation with. Being close to my family is also one of the reasons I think loneliness doesn’t come up as often as it might in others. I used to think to be close to a lot of people outside of my family would never make me feel lonely but as life shows you many different things, it’s not the number of people you have in your life it’s the quality of the people you have in your life.

Nervous

Uncertainty spikes up the feelings of nervousness and anxiety—existing widely across the globe today. Looking after yourself when this comes up has benefits needed for mental and emotional stability. There are many times where I feel nervous but I come back to my breath in the moments where I cannot calm down with what’s going on externally of me. I even find ways to get me physically out of spaces where this feeling will just keep on existing.

Overwhelm

People who flood you with their own dialogue to vent, strong energies that drain me, a plan I can’t start early enough, preparing big projects, interviews, opinions that turn into the judgment of others, and the list goes on. This is what comes into my thoughts when I think of feeling overwhelmed.

Like many of these emotions, a lot of what we feel could be from the lack of control about a situation. And like much of what I’ve already mentioned I need to take a step back and give myself space. When overwhelm creeps in it has the underlining feeling of doom, even when it isn’t that serious, but that makes me feel so restless that if I can’t find a solution then I have to immediately remove myself.

Reflective

Getting things taken away that’s out of your norm creates real reflective moments. I live with being reflective daily but how many people don’t get a chance to truly see how they’re living their life? Reflecting gives you a chance to find clarity in areas that might not be as clear as you’d like and helps you reach a level of peace a lot quicker.

If I can’t find myself intuitively being reflective I have my journaling, conversations, yoga, and meditation to keep me in check.

Resentment

What a heavy feeling resentfulness is towards anything or anyone. I steer clear from this feeling as best as I could by getting objective. As a sensitive human with emotions felt deeper than the ocean I could easily get hurt and feel resentful towards those I interact with most.

I’m a big advocate on making sure I stay present and not let what’s occupying my attention most of the time take over my life or take attention away for harboring real connections. But I’ve got to be real, this is a high expectation I’ve learned to lower towards others. Not everyone’s the same.

Firstly, people don’t know your thoughts and sentiments if you’re not addressing it with them. Communication is key. Secondly, everyone’s love language is different and it would be unfair to judge others because they don’t show love the way I do while I say, “I accept you for you.” This is counterintuitive and doesn’t do well for anyone. Thirdly, not everyone is your person and that doesn’t mean you can’t still interact. The way people are set up in your life changes across a lifetime and so are you—everyone can be on a journey but not always the same path.

Sad

My heart is heavy and the sadness I’ve shown in the last couple of days has been in the form of tears. The racial injustice towards black lives and what’s sprung by the countless murders by police brutality has been heartbreaking. Also, this happening during the pandemic has me worried that more and more marginalized humans will have their lives not only taken away by unfairness but by the sweeping effect of COVID-19. The sadness of this reality lives deep within me as I try to grasp what to say, having conversations with those I feel most inclined to have them with, and taking action that lives well beyond the present moment that makes changes.

I’ve been sad about things time and time again. I put today into the perspective of how I feel about everything. How I feel about what’s always going on in America and across the world. How I feel about individuals and their views. How I feel about myself. How I’ll feel after the attention shifts again. And how I feel in general.

Scared

If you’re feeling scared, you’re not alone. Being aware of what makes you most afraid gives you the root of what changes you need to make. When this comes up I work on not allowing myself to get too worked up or anxious. I search for support to ease the tension by either talking with my beloved and closest people. Or I simply try and breathe.

Unease

My intuition notifies me of so much. It can nudge me to feel the energy of a room, a person, or a group of people. It can shield me from making a bad choice. It’s hard to explain into words but it exists to protect and advise when things aren’t right.

Being uneasy is extremely uncomfortable. For me, I have a bodily reaction that includes tension, a vibration of energy that can be overwhelming, a lack of attention, and the feeling that I need to get out of whatever is going on. I need to always come back to within. Nothing but reeling it back and being present with what is to move forward gives me the most effective moments.

Unrest

This is an exhausting emotion but it doesn’t mean that it’s not manageable. If you think of what makes you most unrestful, what is it that triggers that feeling? Unrest could leave you hopeless but moments can only show you what you need to focus more on.

Knowing myself more and more throughout the years has allowed me to get real acquainted with all my reactions and the things that manifest them. If you could find peace and calm in some way it’ll ease more of the tension that this can bring.

[ylanisalcedo]

7 Things I’ve Learned During My Writing Career

Sharing a table with anyone is symbolic of spending time together even if we don’t always see it that way. When you sit at a table with a person or a group of people you’re sharing a space, the air, and energy that’s flowing through each person. These things are inevitable.

Sitting at someone’s table can also figuratively mean looking at their work online, reading their content, and interacting with them through many mediums. I’d like to think of my website as one huge table full of what I bring to it as a human, mental health and emotional health writer, creative, and podcaster.

Years ago when I began this website it was focused on my freelance career as a makeup artist. Side-by-side to this I was working on expanding my writing career. In hopes to get new clients, I would post pictures of my current ones but deep down inside I wanted the content to be more than that.

I started writing blog posts, naturally leading into including my experience at makeup events, beauty reviews, and product reviews. The feeling of wanting more out of this space kept coming up and I eventually took away my focus of makeup and beauty topics. Sharing my freelance makeup artist career was becoming less and less interesting to me and because writing is such a huge part of who I am it was a breeze to transition into. It’s been one of the most rewarding decisions I’ve made.

Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

It’s okay to change your mind and work towards what your gut is telling you.

If your passion can be turned into your career, you’ll be happier even with the challenges that happen all the time. That doesn’t mean quit your current job though.

A healthy support system of people in your life is invaluable.

Common themes always come up in your life—pay attention.

Never do anything because everyone else wants you to. You’ll end up paying for something that wasn’t meant for you.

When your everyday life includes much of the work you do, find balance. Even if you have a passion for your career you can get burnt out.

Find grounding tools like breathing, yoga, meditation, reading, music, or anything else that might be grounding to you.

Today, I find myself writing content that matters most to me and using my words for the betterment of self. I’ve come a long way in my own mental health and emotional health journey and that’s why this is what I’ve been leaning into for a while. I understand what it is to not see the value in yourself, to sell yourself short out of fear, to believe the negative things people say about you, to be afraid that you’re too emotional and sensitive, and the list goes on.

Since the first day I created this website, I think it’s always been my goal to cover topics with the wellness space but I needed to go through these different stages to see it clearly. Is there anything in your life that mirrors a situation like this?

Sometimes it takes many phases of transforming and even though it’s a never-ending cycle, finding yourself in better spaces, work, and the company is always worth the detours it takes to get there.

[ylanisalcedo]

Awareness is the Beginning of Growth

“If you don’t take out the time to self-love there is no way you could pour all the love you want into others.” This is something I wrote back in 2017 in a post about self-love. Today, I feel the same.

I reflect on how I practice self-care and self-love all the time because it’s essential to my well-being. Lack of awareness can leave me in the deep end of depression and that’s why it’s important for me to elevate it constantly. I check in and raise my awareness by taking stock of how I’m reacting in my day-to-day life, what my attention is going towards, where my attention is lessening in, how my body is feeling, my attitude when change happens, what feelings I’m taking on from others, and if I’m resisting growth in any way.

Everything is a chain reaction into the reality you live in and just like I mentioned above, checking in elevates your awareness to get to work in areas needed most. The overall wellness, mental clarity, physical health, and overall emotional balance of a person depends on it.

In the days I’m succeeding and having the healthiest of boundaries I still need to remind myself of everything I do to check in. The work is never done even if I’m doing well but the days where I’m overwhelmed and defeated I like to remember the following.

I am not responsible for everything surrounding me.

I do not have to forget myself in the midst of helping others.

I am valuable enough to set time aside for self-care.

I have to show myself love so I could be the best version when I go out in the world.

These points won’t solve my problems, but they remind me of my worth by either planting the seed so I could come to believe it or in shifting my perspective so I could move forward. No matter where you are in your life you’re still the number 1 priority in making the healthiest choices for your present and future self. You owe it to yourself in all that you do, because without your well-being how does your life look?

[ylanisalcedo]

Travel: Charleston, South Carolina

At the beginning of March, I was in Charleston, South Carolina in far better weather than back home in New Jersey which was still pretty cold. This trip was offered as an invitation from my godmother as her guest on her yearly company trip to a location that they choose. This year it was Charleston, one of the oldest cities in South Carolina filled with preserved buildings, homes, and historical landmarks.

As a long weekend trip from a Saturday to a Wednesday, it was hard to say no especially since I knew I wouldn’t be traveling anywhere new for a while. This trip had all expenses paid from the flight, breakfasts, some dinners, and the rest was up to how we wanted to spend our money. In other words, how in the world could I say no?

I looked at my work schedule, where the week was falling on my calendar, decided this as a gift to myself as a break, and said yes of course.

So what could I say about this city? Firstly, if this were a trip I planned on my own terms then I would’ve explored more of it, but with what my godmother’s company planned, and the days we were able to explore the city on our own, I was more than glad to have gotten the chance to experience it at all. Secondly, it’s quaint in a charming kind of way with a taste of southern living through food and the overall embrace of the surroundings. Thirdly, like most southern states the pace of living in comparison to the tri-state area I come from is slower and more relaxed—just what I crave for.

During the days I was there I captured as much as I could through pictures of places I visited, the food I ate, and the hotel we were in. It’s not a lot but it’s enough to be a short guide if you ever find yourself planning a trip to Charleston, SC.

Hotel Bennett

This hotel is located in the heart of Charleston with a rich history that can be physically felt and seen in the grandeur design from the inside out. Hotel Bennett is located on King Street, a well-known street that’s more than 300 years old, filled with stores, shops, and restaurants to choose from. You can easily spend a whole day walking down this street whether you’re in the mood to shop or have a delicious meal at any point of the day. The hotel is a phenomenal place to stay at from its beauty to the comfort you feel in the rooms as if you were in an actual home to the excellent service all around.

Charleston City Market

Beginning from the Market Hall facing Market Street and ending at East Bay Street, the Charleston City Market stretches up to 4 blocks of places for locals and tourists alike to shop. This ground-level strip is filled with keepsakes to bring home to loved ones or as a great spot to buy jewelry, t-shirts, candles, and more for yourself. Just like Charleston, in general, this market has a deep history that runs back to the 1790s when it was built for beef and produce to be sold. It was also a social gathering spot very much like today. This was one of my favorite things to walk through since I love going to markets and if I wanted to go right back to the hotel it was an easy walk back to King Street.

Republic Garden & Lounge

We arrived early afternoon and by the time me and my godmother checked in and settled in our room, it was time to eat before a planned dinner later on in the evening. We stumbled across Republic Garden & Lounge located on the same street as Hotel Bennett. The ambiance was extremely warm, southern hospitality warm of course, with a nice seating area outside in their garden.

I didn’t have the time to take a picture of it but I did manage to get one of my food which in my eyes is more important. As I was looking at the menu I wanted many choices but I thought to myself, if I’m in South Carolina I’m going to have some good chicken. And with that, I ordered the grilled chicken sandwich with cheddar cheese, tomato, lettuce, a mayo aioli sauce, and a side of delicious fries. I do want to be honest and say this chicken sandwich has had to be one of the best, if not the best, seasoned chicken I’ve ever had.

Angel Oak Tree

Located in Johns Island, South Carolina just outside of Charleston the Angel Oak Tree is a must-see. This tree is over 60 feet tall and is estimated to be more than 400 to 500 years old with enormous branches that give a shade of 17,200 square feet. How incredible is this? In person it’s an absolute breathtaking experience from a beautiful view of nature to the serene feeling you get just by being in its presence.

I hope this short guide can give you a sense of my experience and how you could spend time in one of the oldest cities in America.

[ylanisalcedo]

My 30th Birthday + A Project Debute

Today’s my birthday. I’m 30 aka my thirtieth year around the sun and while we’re going through this pandemic of the coronavirus, COVID-19, I’m still feeling incredibly thankful.

To have lived 3 decades so far is a blessing and oh my how the years have flown by. It’s honestly incredible the growth and learning experiences I’ve been through especially during my 20s. Aside from the developmental years of growing from a baby to a toddler, into a kid, then a teenager, and to an adult, the decade of my 20s is by far the one where I’ve found my footing in who I am as a person.

The next 10 years aren’t known but it won’t lack a fresh new set of growing pains and learning experiences that comes with living life—I’m ready for this!

To get your mind off of everything that’s going around in the world while you’re hopefully safe and as healthy as possible, I’m sharing some news that I’m really excited about.

As a writer, my written words are all I have but for some time I’ve been wanting to create a podcast. Podcasts are another form of content that puts a voice to thoughts, topics, and many other subjects allowing us to learn and absorb the conversations being had on the episodes. Keeping this in mind, I’ve created my own podcast called Ylani talks. focused on putting my voice to my thoughts on self-care and love.

We all have our own way of being captivated whether it’s through reading, writing, listening, watching, or hands-on tasks. Even with these different ways, I feel it’s essential to explore each part as best as possible.

As a content creator above all, speaking with my actual voice puts a different spin on the topics I cover and makes it more real for some. The production part of Ylani talks. has been rewarding to where it is today and as I introduce you to its 1st season I’m proud of everything that’s come along the way with it. Are you ready to join me?

Watch the YouTube video above for a clip of what Behind the Podcast, the trailer + 1st episode of Ylani talks., is all about. Listen to the episode here or on Spotify and stay tuned for it to become available on other podcast platforms. Subscribe, share, and leave a comment.

[ylanisalcedo]

Support Isn’t Taking Responsibility for Others

Have you ever found yourself being able to help others but when it comes to yourself you can’t figure it out?

Most of us have this bias against ourselves. When we look at our own needs and what’s going on with us we can’t always see the full picture. We’re the main part of the details and that makes it difficult to think reasonably most of the time. And that’s why when we help others it’s completely different.

If you’re the type of person who doesn’t think twice about saying yes it can strengthen another person, but it can easily weigh you down before you even notice it happening. These moments lead others to expect you’ll figure it out for them. And on the flip side, you could feel like it’s your duty to do so. You can easily experience both of these creating unbalance, strains, no boundaries, and unhealthy habits that require a lot of internal work to unravel. I can vouch for all of this because it’s what I’ve dealt with all my life and continue to do so.

For a person who’s an empath and feels on a deeper level, raising my awareness of what I say yes to or don’t want to say yes to is necessary or I’m all out of balance. It becomes most difficult with those I love most because the ones we love most are our biggest strengths but can also be our biggest weaknesses.

What people actually need is support.

Support isn���t simultaneous with being responsible for solving other people’s situations and lives. Support is honesty when it’s needed. It’s being present even if words aren’t exchanged. It’s about disagreeing but still offering the space others need to figure it out on their own. It’s about listening more than anything. It’s about not expecting anything in return when you share your opinions. It’s about never abandoning but allowing for others’ errors to teach them the lessons you could never do for them. It’s about finding acceptance that the most difficult parts aren’t the defining ones but how you get through them are. It’s about knowing others will muddle their way through their battles and bloom in the way they need to.

Reflect on how far you’ve come in life, the difficult moments you’ve been through, and the little details that have gotten you to where you are today. Everything adds up to all that you are and it’s the same for others. What we must remember is we can’t be the ones to go through it for them.

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Checking in with Yourself Isn’t Just for the End of the Year

Where are you with your New Year’s resolution? I’m using this post not only as a check-in for yourself but also as a check-in of where I am in 2020 so far. I’m not one to make resolutions but if I do end up having one it’s always to continue to move forward in each area of my life.

As we’re about to enter the 3rd month of the year, it made me realize if you’re not constantly being mindful of where your energy is going it can quickly make you overwhelmed, frazzled, and somewhat aimless. That’s when calling in a moment to reflect and navigating your system of setting goals in the best way possible becomes vital. It’s what’s gotten me through January and February and I’m working with all my strength to keep it up for the rest of the year because this stuff can be really hard at times.

Not too long ago I shared what I’ve been going through with depression and I’m thankfully incredibly better, but traces of it don’t just go away because I want them to. My memory was the most affected and is one of the many things that made me notice I needed to get proactive.

I’ve started to journal down my days through my Passion Planner that focuses on how I spend my day hour by hour, the goals I have for work and personal, errands I need to run, and any other important tasks. It’s also a place where I jot down my ideas because they often come out of the blue and as fast as they pop into my head they can easily disappear. Another thing I’ve included is self-care weekends because they’re badly needed in my life. The number of responsibilities on my plate while trying to juggle everything else and making sure my mental health, emotional health, physical state, and spiritual connection are as healthy as possible can be met but sometimes it comes with a strain and that isn’t healthy. The best thing that comes with a self-care weekend is being able to settle down in doing less to get more out of the two days I have more space to just be.

I hold myself accountable to meet all of this because it has improved me a lot already and they are healthy habits that will enhance life in the long run.

Another thing I don’t want to forget is doing monthly check-ins with myself by using the end of the month reflection in my planner and my end of the year review packet I created in December 2019. It was created to not only reflect on the year but also the last decade and what’s to come ahead. While you might see this as a one-time document you come back to at the end of 2020 using it frequently is just as important. With doing that you can notice if you’ve stayed on track with what you’ve put out there to yourself and how you could realign if you haven’t been as dedicated as you thought you would be.

Even though I created it for others I also filled it out myself and will hold myself accountable to look back on it to view my growth and also continue to improve if I’ve lacked in some way. If you handle a lot of pressures or just need some boost of confidence this end of the year review packet can be just as helpful now as it is at the end of any year. If you’d like to view more, click here, download, and fill it out.

You deserve to take care of the areas that are most difficult for you. You deserve to celebrate your triumphs, big and small. You deserve to get focused and structured with your goals. You also deserve to live in a way that suits you best and the amazing thing about that is if you don’t know what it looks like you absolutely have the power to find out piece by piece.

[ylanisalcedo]

Positive Self-Talk for Shifts in Your Life

In 2017 I started sharing affirmations through my newsletter, YS Insider, and I cannot believe where I am with it today! Since the day I began it years ago, I’ve taken breaks here and there but I’ve continued it going every Sunday since then.

The reason affirmations are important to me is because it shifts negative mindsets over time as you use them frequently. It happens whether you read it to yourself or out loud, because what you say to yourself always matters. They can also serve as a reminder of everything you are, your capabilities, and how valuable you are in this world.

There’s a lot externally that pulls you in all different directions daily. It could be from your environment, your self-talk, those you interact with most, the places you go, the things you listen to, and so forth. Getting back to yourself with positive words can ease the chaos, as long as you put your part in having a space that has them. That’s why I share them so often and will continue to do so for as long as I can.

Whether you motivate yourself with words, support, or any other positive form—keep going. You deserve all the positivity from within so that it’ll eventually spill into every area of your life.

We all want positivity in our lives no matter what stage of your life you’re in and it all begins with your willingness to manifest those small miracles that will amount to so much more, long term.

Would you like to get affirmations and other positive content throughout the month? Don’t hesitate to sign up for the YS Insider newsletter. A newsletter built on self-love, affirmations, and constant motivation.

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The Underlying Gloom of Depression

January has been a weird one. I entered the new year with my wonderful family in the West Palm Beach area of Florida and while that was a high, like most celebrations are, it was back to reality coming back home to New Jersey the first weekend of the year. I had been feeling exceptionally low for the latter part of 2019, and while there have been monumental moments during the year in general, I’ve felt empowered yet all in one so deflated still. With that comes the daily difficult moments that can't always be shaken off as easily as I’d like.

Depression had been creeping into my days and as I look back to certain months there was an underlying gloom of it but that’s the thing about depressive times in your life, you can’t always make sense of it. I started noticing something was off when showering wasn’t something I even wanted to do, eating was a chore, any emotional impact sent me in the need of sleep, and if I didn’t notice it there I caught on most when my memory became affected. I started forgetting really important things and my punctuality was completely off. My motivation was nonexistent. 

These are not usual traits of mine, I remember practically everything in detail and for punctuality, let’s just say if I could arrive half an hour before anything without it being too early I really would. Sharing this is a scary step and not easy. I was even considering not posting this at all but in 2020 I’m working on being more transparent about topics like this. Especially as I’m declaring myself as a mental and emotional health writer in the wellness space, this year, with the words I’ve been especially sharing the past 2 years or so.

The last time I could remember feeling this way was back in 2015, when depression was triggered after an accident I had on top of an already challenging time in my life. What helped me back then was effort and action from me to improve my overall wellness. That included my eating habits, my physical activity, how my days were structured, and nourishing my spiritual self by praying more. These are the essential things for me to improve my mental and emotional health all the time.

Today, I am doing better but I’m still on the road to strengthen myself in the ways I can most. I’m giving myself the compassion we all need to get in the habit of doing often for ourselves and not just when we’re going through the toughest of times. Incorporating more of a routine into my weeks and making sure I take monthly self-care weekends has begun this month and I hope to continue pushing through as I go through this.

Having a routine in place puts you in focus and pushes you to take things step by step, no matter the size of them. In writing this there’s a reminder that I believe keeping in the back of our minds is crucial, that every step counts.

For me, self-care weekends could look like completely disconnecting when necessary, indulging in something I love doing like cooking, setting intentional moments where I focus on a task, reading the most current book on my list, spending quality time with those I love, or scheduling my work week so that it leaves space for everything else.

Depression comes in quietly and for me, it’s triggered by very emotional situations that mostly includes loss of some kind and the other parts of it I’m not so sure of. I’m on the road to always uncover the areas of self that don’t always make sense, to find the best practices to elevate my spirituality, cultivate healthy habits for the long term, and give myself the space to figure it out without a timeframe set of any kind. Because while timeframes in retrospect sound promising, when it comes to mental health you can’t put constraints when you’re seeking improvement.

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Vulnerability and Bravery Behind Action for Your Goals

One of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself is to put action towards your goals. Every time I’ve done this, I’ve found myself getting opportunities that I might not have gotten if I were to stay only thinking of a goal.

When I and one of my best friends took a leap of faith to put a platform together, Muse Unrestricted, it was one of those moments where taking an opportunity for ourselves expanded. It was built on passion. It was built on community. And we had the privilege to work with creative writers and collaborators during the years it ran (2014-2017). The website was launched with the video project Make Ups of Women filmed at blo Out Lounge & Colour Bar in Hamilton, NJ. It centered around the conversations that came from questions we asked women, “What defines your womanhood?” and “What inspires you to move forward?”.

These questions lead to beautiful conversations and what went into planning, filming, and spending a day with these women was an experience we both won’t forget. Looking back on everything, I can truly remember how I felt so proud of us, that such a vision could come to life and to also share the day with our beautiful mothers.

As women we have the pressures that we put on ourselves, the ones from society, the ones from our cultures, the ones from our families, the ones from our professions, the ones from communities, the ones from the individuals we interact with often, and the ones from the world at large. If we listen and live within every single others’ view than our own it creates disharmony and struggle; we already work so hard on being our best version that it becomes burdensome to listen to all the noise.

Needless to say, we all have a story to share regardless of the exterior forces. We all have experiences to continue to live through. The women in this video were vulnerable and brave in sharing a glimpse of who they are and what they’re most grateful for. What a privilege to have witnessed it.

[ylanisalcedo]

My Love for the Literary in Life

When it comes to books, notebooks, planners, and calendars I can’t get enough of them. I’ve always been like this, especially in elementary school where book fairs came and went. It was a time of the year I was most excited about because everything about a book brings excitement to my life to this day.

I could easily roam around a bookstore or library. My biggest guilty pleasure is buying them as I’m unintentionally growing my own little library. In my room, I have stacks of all kinds of books. Memoirs, fiction, non-fiction, poems, self-help, and so much more. They bring me peace and a moment to slip away into another world and another mindset–whether it’s for entertainment, self-development, inspiration, or just to read something new.

The love for them is just as much as I have for notebooks, planners, and calendars. They go in a bundle honestly. These are a work of art in my eyes because they hold tangible words and schedules that we as humans need to get out of our heads. It makes us more productive and let’s be honest, it helps you remember things more.

In this post, I’ll be sharing the books I’ve read this year along with planners and calendars I love.

Books

Becoming by Michelle Obama

A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a “A Course in Miracles” by Marianne Williamson

Love Without Conditions by Paul Ferrini

Educated by Tara Westover

Everything is Figureoutable: How One Simple Belief Can Help Us Overcome Any Obstacle and Create Unstoppable Success by Marie Forleo

Introvert Shine: Career-Boosting Communication Hacks to Speak Confidently and Build Your Network by Jim Saunders

The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Morgan Cron

Dominicana by Angie Cruz

Planners and Calendars

Poketo

Passion Planner

Commit 30

Moleskine

[ylanisalcedo]

Periods: My Most Tragic Story

I remember around the time I got my first period. My mom had talked to me about the changes that would go on in my body and what to expect as I grew older. I was thrilled to hear everything that would go on with me in becoming a physically developed woman. Even my period, yes.

Thinking back to that I just chuckle because oh boy was my body going to go through some painful changes.

At 12 that’s when it all began. I had some minor cramps, bloating, and blood of course. It wasn’t too intense and it was manageable with some Advil or Pamprin when the pain set in. The first few years it was like this, then 15 hits and my life as a woman became intensely complicated. Pamprin stopped working. Cramps had me doubled over. I threw up. I fainted. My body couldn’t handle being touched when others tried to soothe me as I cried in agony. Pure torture.

The fainting part only happened that one time when my body introduced me to the most excruciating pain I would struggle with up until this day. It came out of nowhere and I remember it vividly.

My family and I were visiting my grandparents in Florida in the month of July or August, one year. One of the days we planned to go see my mama’s (grandma’s) brother, my great-uncle, at his apartment. Before heading out I started to feel cramps and exhaustion. Taking 2 Advils at that time would help and I could just go about my day, but this day was different.

We’re in the car and I suddenly feel extremely hot even though the AC was on. I start feeling weak, terrible cramps, and then nauseous. There was a plastic bag of brownies to munch on that I emptied out immediately and threw up in. I felt dizzy and an overall weakness that I’ve never experienced.

By this point, all I wanted to do was get to my great-uncle’s place while keeping it together and praying that I would just feel better. We finally park, my mama comes to help me get into the apartment as I walk slow, I start getting light-headed, I have no idea what’s going on, my body feels tingly, my hearing gets distant and my vision too. All I could hear was my poor mama, who has arthritis in her arm, saying she can’t hold me up as my great-uncle notes he couldn’t bend down because he has back problems.

Before I continue, I laughed at this image after my whole dilemma.

I then completely blackout, faint, and then wake up to my grandparents, mom, sisters, and brother helping me to get up so I could go in one of the rooms nearby to lay down. All the while my cramps are still giving me the same awful pain. I don’t remember how I eventually was okay enough to fall asleep, maybe tea or a hot compress, but when I did I felt much better when I woke up.

Years after that incident the throwing up, doubled over in cramp pain, hot flashes, and not being able to move has happened more than I could count. Today, I still feel extreme pain but without everything else even though it can still happen from time to time.

The reason for this story is because I want to share something I can’t control but am constantly trying to find solutions to make it better. Chamomile tea has been a savior in soothing a lot of the pain. I still take Advil when I’m feeling fatigued during my flow but I take it before I know the possibility of being doubled over is near. Once it kicks in it can become really difficult to manage.

Another thing I’m trying to implement is eating healthier foods closer to the time of the month. Eating the right foods not only helps your general wellness but it’s essential to a woman’s wellness, too. Keeping track of your cycle is also something that can help you manage that. I use the app Clue and my iPhone’s Cycle Tracking in the Health app.

Tracking your period can help you realize the body changes you go through before pain sets in. It raises awareness and you can see the effects from adjustments you make in your lifestyle a few days before your period. That’s essential in and of itself for a less painful flow. On top of keeping track, one thing we women must do regardless is lessening our stress and tension levels. Hormonally and physically a lot of changes are happening.

I’ve recently listened to a Hormonal podcast episode, PMS Is Real. PMS Isn’t Real., that’s left me so interested in hearing more about PMS, women’s wellness, and what internal and external factors can really affect your menstrual cycle. Being a woman might make others think we have it all down pact on how to go through our cycles seamlessly but the reality of it is—no matter how old we are or how many periods we have we’re still figuring it out every damn month.

I want to leave a message for everyone but a special note for us women.

Let’s do more to educate ourselves on our own bodies. To be mindful of what we need. To ask for help, always. And take care of ourselves best when we need it most—even if it’s just for 20 minutes.

Want to read more posts like this? Click on the Experience tab.

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Unforgettable Moments in Print

They say a picture is worth a thousand words and that’s why I love them as much as I do. Taking pictures during gatherings, travels, and celebrations captures moments in frozen time that you can look back to often. One thing that’s missing nowadays is printing pictures out frequently.

Back when film cameras were all we had this wasn’t the case, but today we have our phones and other devices to save our files on—then they just stay there.

During the years where I was traveling the most around America and other countries taking pictures was all I could do. But there’s one thing that was brought to my attention during this time, we’re sometimes extremely devoted to our devices capturing everything that we forget to take a step back and enjoy everything surrounding us. And then we also forget that if something happened to our phones, laptops, and computers we might lose these memories forever.

One of the best ways to remember unforgettable moments like these is to print them out. For me, Artifact Uprising is the perfect place to do it.

Artifact Uprising is a printing business that has options for your beautiful pictures to be printed into prints, books, frames, cards, and so much more. The founders are professional photographers who were capturing life behind the lens for years before launching Artifact Uprising in 2012. They developed the company out of love and passion for what they’ve been doing and to help others do the same.

I always find myself wanting to immediately print out a picture I take to hang about my walls and display in so many places. It’s wonderful to find sources that make a lasting impression like this and that takes you away from your device into the present moment.

When was the last time you printed out photos?

Want to read more posts like this? Check out my experience tab.

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What I’m Here For, Always

If there is only one mission I was put on this earth for is to help others see the light within themselves. I can strongly feel it in my bones not just today but since I could remember. I always try and put it out there even in the tiniest of ways. And this, in all honesty, comes naturally and intuitively to me. Sometimes in moments where I don’t even intend to.

As I’ve gotten older and continuously keep growing into more of myself as a person my biggest preoccupation in life will always be to do this kind of work for women, especially. As a woman, being raised by powerful women, and having strong women as the closest beings in my life, how could I not?

If you’ve been following my work as a writer you already know I frequently share quotes on my Instagram account, @ylanisalcedo. I’ve been writing since I could remember and that includes quotes too, but before I decided to publish quotes via Instagram there comes a huge reason to do so—heartbreak. Heartbreak hurts like hell. I won’t be the first nor the last to experience it but there’s an immeasurable amount of sadness that a woman can feel deep within her soul. And that can be for years or her whole entire life. No matter what it is. No matter from whom. No matter what capacity each individual can feel.

I know this because I’ve experienced it, seen it in others, and hear it in so many different forms.

I started creating and posting quotes because of one particular person in my life. This person doesn’t know it but it is because and for her, always. As a reminder, I always have to come back to that when I write them and it might be something I’ll share with her one day but for now, it won’t be. I say this all to also say that even though my words have this strong intention behind it it’s really for every woman out there because I believe we can grow into better beings despite heartbreaks.

I believe we also can’t let them dictate our lives. Heartbreaks happen for us but they’re not who we are. I believe that it’s okay to feel and express how we feel, but I equally want us to put in the work to heal in ways that change everything in our lives for the better. We are capable of so much, and others can see it too, but it truly starts with us to start the necessary shifts.

I hope I can be a simple reminder through my words for you to begin and even if it’s not monumental shifts just know every bit counts. Really and truly.

Here are some quotes I’ve published just for women.

Want to read more posts like this? Check out my Experience tab.

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Food Guide: London, England

Two of my greatest loves are traveling and food. The two were fused when I was in London for 6 days in April. From sweets to desserts and delicious meals I’m here to share with you places you can visit if you find yourself across the pond.

Mercato Metropolitano near Elephant and Castle

Every foodie’s dream is amplified as soon as you walk into the Mercato Metropolitano. No matter what you’re in the mood for there’s a choice for you. When I went, I was in the mood for Italian and ended up getting the most delicious truffle gnocchi I’ve ever had. While I don’t have a picture of my dinner I do at least have one picture of a hazelnut gelato that was equally delicious.

This street food hall is huge with sitting spaces on the outside and inside. A place to go to just chill and grab a quick bite and drink or to eat a full meal.

The Boatman

This restaurant is located in Windsor, England on the River Thames. When I went to The Boatman it was on a Sunday and that day called for a Sunday Roast, a traditional British meal. You have choices of having beef, pork, or a vegetable only option with Yorkshire pudding. I had the beef Sunday Roast and I couldn’t have enjoyed it more. It was perfectly cooked, seasoned, and filled me up just right. The potatoes and vegetables were also extremely delicious.

It’s a perfect restaurant to go to for the food and the views, especially when the weather is on your side.

Meze Mangal

If you’re looking for Turkish food Meze Mangal is a restaurant you can go to. I had the grilled lamb ribs with a salad that’s also known as, Kaburga-Tarak. It was well seasoned and anything with a salad as an accompaniment is something I always look forward to having. Before my meal, there was also hummus and bread that went really well together without it being too filling.

It’s a great restaurant to go to as a last-minute planned meal.

Masala Zone in Covent Garden

If you’re looking for a good Indian restaurant when out in Covent Garden, Masala Zone is a good pick. One of my favorite things about this location is how beautiful its decor is. This picture doesn’t do it justice, but you can see how much color and vibrancy there is. When I had dinner here I had the butter chicken curry with a side of Jasmine rice.

It looks simple but it was bursting with delicious flavors and left me satisfied. Perfect for a date night and casual dining.

Ladurée

This bakery of French macarons has so many flavors to choose from, located at Covent Garden. At Ladurée you can get fruity flavors to chocolatey flavors and love it all. When I went here after my dinner at Masala Zone, I chose a box of 8 to share with flavors like hazelnut, vanilla, mango, strawberry, and dark chocolate covered macarons. These sweets are perfectly made from the texture, flavors, and overall experience. It’s perfect for an after dinner treat or to fill a sweet craving.

Interested in more food and travel guides? Check out my Food and Travel tabs.

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6 Day Trip: London, England

The city of London, United Kingdom is a city in England that’s found on lists of places to travel to for many. I always count my blessings every time I’m able to go somewhere new or experience the same places I’ve been to in a different way. At the beginning of April, I made my way back to London for 6 days.

In that amount of time, I was able to do so much and also take a full day and night out of the city to see a different part of England. While every person’s experience and likes are different I’m here to share things you can do when going across the pond.

London Eye

The first time I went to London was in 2015 and even though I passed by the London Eye when I was there that year I didn’t actually go on it. It was a goal to do that at some point during my trip and luckily it wasn’t raining when I did. If you’re planning to do this make sure to plan ahead of time. Since this is a tourist attraction you should purchase tickets online so that when you get there your experience goes smoothly.

The Cauldron

If you’re a Harry Potter fan like me you’ll love The Cauldron. Here you’ll experience 1hr 45min of pure magic as you’re given a magic wand when you enter and the chance to order drinks that you make yourself. They provide everything you need to mix it up along with moments where your server comes to give your drink a finishing touch.

The experience was too much fun even if you aren’t a fan of magic, witches, and wizards. You can make reservations through their website.

Covent Garden

If you’re looking for an area where you can shop, eat, and find entertainment you can count on Covent Garden to fulfill this for you. The streets are filled with anything you’re looking for and everything is walking distance from each other so you can either plan an evening or a whole day there. When I went there I went for dinner and dessert.

Windsor Castle

This was one of my favorite places to visit during my time away. Windsor Castle is located about an hour and a half from London in Windsor, England. You can book a tour in advance or buy your entrance tickets when you get there. Inside the castle, you aren’t allowed to take photos but you get to experience some very beautiful things like the Royal Wedding Exhibition, The China Museum, and more.

The outside is absolutely magnificent with the architecture of the castle itself, the courtyard, the gardens, and everything else it had to offer.

Stonehenge

A location that has been in movies and books for me was so exciting to see in person. This historical landmark is located in Salisbury, England. You can easily do a Windsor Castle and Stonehenge tour on the same day available as packages or you can plan it on your own. Just make sure you look at time slots a day before going to Stonehenge since they fill up quickly if you decide to visit without a tour. For me, I don’t like rushing from place to place if it can be avoided. If you have time, plan a night to stay in Windsor and then see Stonehenge the following day. This is what I ended up doing.

When I was there it was amazing how close you’re able to get to the stones. That’s something I didn’t expect and before reaching it, via shuttle buses or walking, you’re able to take advantage of going into their small museum for historical background and the foundation of how it came to be in its location.

Want to read more posts like this? Check out my Travel tab.