youllneverknowmysecretidentity

[youllneverknowmysecretidentity]

Hey, experiencing some writers block for my series, need ideas stat!

[youllneverknowmysecretidentity]

Chapter 13: a white gown

“She’ll have to stay here a week due to muscle atrophy.” My moms confused look did not help one bit to the doctors explanation, “several other cases we had come in had muscle atrophy as well, but none as severe as hers, we suspect the concussion acted as a catalyst for a more widespread atrophy. It’s very common and will fade.” My mother rubbed my hand as the doctor went over the treatment plan. 1.) resting, 2.) daily roll around in a wheelchair to stimulate blood flow, 3.) one hour in the garden to help with trauma, 4.) talk to the therapist after dinner everyday. Gee golly this was gonna be one hell of a week. Best part, my parents are being forced to leave me alone in order to prevent excessive mental pressure. Hello jello and loneliness. I could see Dr. Browns smug fat face looking at me through my room window, I wanted to rip it off so bad. Before I could think any further my EKG machine starting going haywire, giving off readings that probably weren’t healthy. The doctor immediately sprung into action to check my pulse and upon seeing my pulse was normal shut off the machine and sent in a nurse to replace it. “Occasionally we have machines that glitch out like this, the batteries will interfere with the outlet power. It’s very strange.” My mother nodded and continued to squeeze my hand. Eventually she had to let go, “I promise to come visit you during the hours and bring you word searches and cookies.” I smiled, “thank you mom but I promise I’ll be okay.” She smiled that familiar mom smile that just screamed, I don’t care I want to be here. It warmed my heart. I watched her walk out, her warm hand slowly slipping out of mine, leaving me alone in the empty white room. I suddenly became nervous, all around me machines made noise, I was put in a solitary room with a window beside the only door out in front of me, a window with a view of the outside to my right. Some flowers on the table already. I hope some of them were at least from Mullen, tears welled up in my eyes thinking of the last time I saw him. He looked so scared. With all the drugs in my system I felt hazy, just as I was about to close my eyes, the door opened and in came mr. smug face himself. “Hello hello, feeling better?” “Was until you came in.” He smiled, “lovely as ever, think about our discussion any?” I pondered, what would they do if I told them the truth, or even part of the truth. I couldn’t throw Mullen or even Jonavah under the bus. I had to take one for the team, I had to do something. “I saw something, I dunno what, heard it too, then passed out.” He smiled but then look confused, “wait what? You’re actually admitting to seeing something?” I smiled, “I remembered laughter just before the smoke, then seeing weird long limbed creatures, one grabbed me then I passed out.” He sat there for a second, I tried to keep my best poker face, I was technically telling the truth, just not with all the details. He scoffed, “what about the high energy in your DNA?” I shrugged, trying to play it off as coolly as possible, “I dunno, I can barely remember anything, maybe the things were radioactive?” He crossed his arms, “the explanation seems sufficient, but it doesn’t answer all the questions.” I smiled, “obviously it doesn’t, or we’d hear about your agency on the news. The phenomena stays odd for a reason doctor.” He looked at me with mild shock, he then hmmphed and walked out briskly. I watched him walk away and counted twenty seconds to make sure he was gone. I then pressed the call button and watched as my nurse came in. “Yes dear?” “Can I get in my wheelchair now? I want to go down to the gardens and then see Kaylee.” Mullen’s P.O.V. I coughed for what seemed like the thousandth time, more black bile came from my throat. “Ohhohooho, more puke old pal?” Jonavahs pained voice came from the rock above me, I looked up to see him still nursing the stump where his arm once was. “Still handless?” I retorted back, he scoffed and threw a rock at me. I dodged it fast enough. Asshole. “Fucking woman of yours, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW SHE WAS A CARDINAL.” I stood straight before bending over again in pain. I wish she was here, she always brings strength. “She doesn’t know, she’s just barely gotten a hold on her powers.” I vomited black tar again, “Qion really gave you the booster poison huh?” “Booster poison my ass, he just wanted you dead. Guess there’s no way to kill you with Mrs.sorceress by your side.” I smiled at the thought, her as powerful as Huron by my side. “Go back to your master.” I heard him laugh, he slid over the rock and in front of me finally giving me a good look of him; his leg was a charred remain and his arm was a stub. “In this condition he’d finish me off, he was never my master, he just promised me a share in the kingdom if I succeeded.” I stared into his eyes, “you know he was lying right.” A hint of sadness filtered into the ink black on his pupils, he shrugged, “now I know I guess, I always figured.” I managed to stand straight, “I need to find her.” He turned his back to me, “why weren’t you truly my friend?” I stopped shifting and turned to him, “what?” “All our training together, you were always the top one, always powerful, always loved. You could’ve had everything, then you started sneaking off to Huron, learning the ways of good, then you rose up and left. I followed you, you knew I followed you, and instead of telling Huron you knew me and were my friend. You shunned me and left me alone.” He turned this time, tears streamed down his burnt face, “I WAS ALONE, QION WOULDNT LET ME BACK IN I HAD TO FEND FOR MYSELF.” I shifted on my foot, I remembered his face, me standing beside Huron on the crest of the mountain as jonavah stood below, I remember the loud screams when we turned to leave for Hurons kingdom. “Jonavah.” “NO. I DONT WANT TO HEAR YOUR PITIFUL EXCUSES ANYMORE. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY MOMENT WHERE I BECAME WORTHY OF SOMETHING. NOW IM STUCK HERE WITH YOU AGAIN. why didn’t you kill me when you fought against him?” He said the last part of the sentence weakly. Tears pricked my eyes, “I’m sorry. I have no valid reason for doing what I did other than I could not trust anyone. I was so clouded by my need to abandon my old home that I forgot the family I loved that came with it.” Jonavah clenched and unclenched his jaw. “This doesn’t fix what happened to me now and before.” “I know, but the only thing left to do is grow. You can join Hannah and I, form our own kingdom, you finally where you belong.” He looked at me with suspicion, his resolve gradually breaking with each word, I walked to him. Leaves crunching under my feet, I held out my hand to him. Snow began to fall as he took his hand and shook mine.

[youllneverknowmysecretidentity]

Chapter 12: Disaster

“The Emergency foundation has no exact cause to the earthquake.” I opened my eyes slowly, the harsh white lighting burnt my eyes. “Oh Hannah, dear you’re awake, how are you feeling, are you okay?” I heard my mother’s voice, she immediately took my hand and squeezed it, I could hear the concern and distress in her voice. I managed to open my eyes and looked over at her, she had red eyes swollen and full of sadness. I squeezed her hand tight and looked around the room, my father sat in the corner fast asleep with a small cup of coffee nearly tipping over in the cup. “Mom, what happened?” She looked at me with disbelief, “do you not remember?” I shook my head, “there was an earthquake, they suspected it to be from the quarry causing some bed rock to shift, it caused a gas line to split before the earth quake happened. It seemed that everyone in the city passed out from the gas before the brunt of the earthquake happened.” I looked at her confused, “how long have I been out?” “Two days.” I heard my dads voice boom, I look over and he was wide awake. “You have a major concussion and your face is cut open.” “Huh?” I touch my face immediately and feel bandaging on the side of my face, the bandage sat on the side of my left jaw and rose all the way to right underneath my left eye. “It’s gonna leave a huge scar Hannah.” “Are Kylie and Kaylee okay?” My dad nodded with a solemn look in his eye, “Kylie is perfectly fine, Kaylee is healing but will be okay, the paramedics suspect she was pierced by the piece of shrapnel or something.” I nodded, my head all of a sudden hurting, memories of last night coming back to me. Hell I was glad they didn’t know the actual truth. Holy shit what about Mullen?!?! Tears flooded my eyes and I began sobbing, “Hannah what’s wrong?” “I just don’t know what happened, all I remember is a bunch of gas and then waking up here.” My dad stood, downing his coffee and throwing the cup in the bedside bin, “there was gas there Hannah, it made everyone knock out, they’re lucky too, no deaths and barely any injuries, but it was a heavy earthquake, we felt it at home.” “Is my car okay?” I said with slight laughter, my dad laughed, “yes we managed to get it back.” Just before I could inquire more two men in doctors coats came in, “Hannah glad to see you’re awake, my name is Dr. Brown and this is my associate Dr. Lee. Since you’re awake we need to conduct testing.” My mom straightened, looking distressed, I knew she didn’t want a bunch of doctors doing weird testing on me but I knew it was for the best. “Okay, mom, dad? Can y’all step out?” My parents filed out of the room before the doctors once pleasant faces dropped into serious expressions, “were with the agency of odd phenomena, we need you to tell us everything you remember from last night. We saw the blood work and noticed a strange energy spike when we looked at your DNA, it wasn’t in anyone’s else’s DNA and we think you either are a source of this madness or became infected.” I felt my shoulders stiffen but then pulse with pain, “your muscles are severely atrophied, you’re gonna be bed and wheelchair bound for a week.” I stared up into their eyes, a look of hate and defiance lacing into my gaze, “I’m sorry sir, but I know nothing of what you’re talking about.” Dr. Brown grimaced at me, obviously not taking my shit. “Well see about that dear, but someone is gonna have to explain the car in the upper side of the aquarium.” I nearly laughed at his statement as I remembered slinging the car at a flying demon and taking it out. The men filed out shortly after putting away my clipboard. My father came in as soon as they left. “I want to see Kaylee.”

[youllneverknowmysecretidentity]

Chapter 11: halloweenfest

(TW: fighting, cursing) The streets were packed, gatlinburg was decorated to the nines and everywhere we looked was a fake axe wielding maniac, I loved it. Kaylee was in the front seat jamming to some Led Zeppelin song and Kylie was in the back staring out the window at nothing. At that moment I truly felt normal, I breathed a deep breath before looking at them, “hey guys?” They both looked over, “yeah?” Replied Kaylee. “So I have some tea for you.” Kaylee immediately perked up and leaned towards me. “There’s someone I want you to meet.. I’ve been seeing him for a while and he’s older... but I promise he’s safe.” Kylie nodded, Kaylee made an unreadable face before smiling, “how much older?” I cringed while parking the car, “a bit.” “I’m just gonna have to meet him, I don’t like this but honestly it’s better than your exes probably.” I laughed and turned to start walking out of the garage, standing right in front of me was Mullen. “Hello, I’m sorry I didn’t dress up, I figured I’d let you girls have your fun.” Kaylee looked taken aback and Kylie stared “woah.” They said in unison. “He’s really hot,” said Kylie. Kaylee hit her lightly and Mullen laughed, “I don’t mind, I’m glad to finally meet Hannah’s friends!” I smiled, they conversed while we walked to the busy part of the strip. Mullen caught up to me and saw my smiles, he smiled back as I took in the candy vendors and kids in costume. This truly was going to be so much fun. I looked back at the girls, “YOU GUYS READY TO GO?!” “YEAH” they both screamed in reply, we held our bags up in motivation and began our hike through the downtown area. 1 hour later We already had made it through one side of the street, the other side looking more promising we crossed to gain more candy, I occasionally looked back to see Mullen following from a distance, he’d occasionally gesture for me to catch up with the girls to have fun. His push for independence made my heart flutter. “You know, I really like Mullen, his accent is pretty cool. How’d y’all meet again?” Asked Kaylee, “oh, hiking.” She smiled, “well I like him, he’s old but he does you good. Wonder what’d C would thi-“ before she could finish her sentence someone knocked into her and her face became blank and fearful. I stopped, my hairs stood on end and my nerves began to feel like tar, “hello there again darling, miss me?” I saw a dark hand circle around my waist, “Pity your friend there, she doesn’t look so good.” I looked over and blood was starting to weep through her white gown, he released his grip and walked down into a side shopping center, I immediately grabbed kylies hand and sat her and Kaylee down on a brick wall. Assessing the injuries, I looked up to see Mullen giving chase to Jonavah. I looked down to talk to Kaylee and get help but before I could get a sentence out a shrill cackle filled the air and bursts of smoke burst from the sewer openings. The smoke quickly permeated through the air and surrounded me like a thick fog, I couldn’t see but could hear bodies dropping all around me, people passing out left and right. Kaylee slumped onto a wall, still bleeding. Then I heard long dragging footsteps, like a dog with bad legs. They were heavy and slow, coming to me with each dragging step, my breath stuck to my throat and my legs wobbled. Out of the mist, a creature appeared, it had a gaping hole of a mouth with rows of sharp needle teeth, each rotten and stuck with bits of flesh in them. Long arms trailed behind broken looking shoulders and legs thin enough to break with wind. It’s body was grey and looked like it was covered in soot. The worst were the eyes, holes with no emotion or remorse. Thinking of it’s lacking emotion didnt scare me like they should’ve, they just made me mad. They ruined my Halloween, hurt my friends, and this was going to be one hell of an explanation to my parents. Before I realized it, my hands began to glow, a whiteish green glow, the energy surrounded me like a nebula. The creature seemed to step back, that little asshole was scared now? I’ll show it. I swung my hand out and a burst of energy sent it flying into the nearest building, the ground beneath me crackled and glowed. I took another step and the earth shook beneath me, I felt my skin glow and heat. More creatures surrounded me, a cackling in the distance shot through the air, a glowing jack o lantern, was fucking laughing. Jonavah deserves whatever ass whooping I’m gonna give him. Mullen’s P. O. V. I followed Jonavah down the dark corridor, he had to be somewhere. “Shame you’re missing quite the party out there.” He sat on a high wall, a cigar in hand, he gestured to the ever rising fog slowly approaching the valley banks, “sleeping spell, how juvenile.” He snorted at my remark, “your precious little ‘dove’ should be having the time of her life right now. I sent my best demons after her, don’t worry they won’t hurt her, I need her in top shape for me.” He ended the sentence in a grim smirk, my blood boiled at the remark and I roared. He continued to inhale his cigar and exhale smoke, I prepared to shift. A crack of earth and light stopped both of us in our tracks. The earth cracked and rumbled, I turned to the fog, flashed of green lit up the fog. ‘No, she can’t be that powerful.’ Before I could further think, a car came flying through the fog and crashed right into the wall. Jonavah lept from the wall and right onto me, dagger in hand. “You’ve been training her I see!” He slashed at me and I flipped onto my side and away from him, transforming into a lion he laughed. “Cheater,” he then became a horrid large serpent and began to rush at me. I dodged his first attack and flew up, he shot out his head at me and snapped his fangs, black oozy liquid dripping from the tips. I flew away from him and rammed my head directly into his throat, I heard him choke slightly and he fell to the ground. I landed on the ground and was ready to strike him with my claws when I heard a scream, I immediately turned to see Hannah, my beautiful Hannah. Being surrounded, she continued to shake the earth and take the demons out like they were simple insects. A white shot of pain stopped time, I looked down to see fangs directly imbedded into my chest, blood and black dripped from the wound. As Jonavah and I shifted back into our human forms, I clutched my chest, he poisoned me. I heard him chuckle before he gasped, I looked over and followed his eyes to Hannah, she watched me with concerned eyes. Her eyes began to glow a white, she began to scream and scream, the demons around her began to pop and decay as if they were paper in water, the ground shook and cracked, cars floated and flowers caught flame in a green flame. “NO!! SHE CANT BE !!” I heard Jonavah yell before white light burst from her eyes and mouth and bathed the land and everything went black.

[youllneverknowmysecretidentity]

Chapter ten: training

I looked out the window, the air had gotten chilly and the leaves were the colors of fire, surrounding me was the familiar music of monster mash and the laughter of my friends. I smiled and looked back to the classroom, my painting class was decorated and every student was in a costume, today was Halloween. It had been two weeks since I was marked by Mullen. It’s the best I’ve felt, so much had happened and it was all a blur. -flashback- “Okay Hannah, focus, there must be some way we can harness your power.” I stared at him incredulously, “Mullen it’s been three days since I have discovered my powers, I don’t have a hold on them just yet.” He scoffed and waved, “nonsense, you made plates float the other day, there must be something to it!” “Yeah because I was angry!” He furrowed his eyebrows and sat down, just before I could make a snide remark my phone began to buzz in my back pocket. I looked down to see it was C calling me, “hey?” “Hey Hannah, are you okay? I’m still really freaked out about the other day and I need to know if you’re safe.” I fought the urge to yell at him for not caring for me before but taken the circumstances, he had every right to worry for me, I sighed. “Yeah C don’t worry I’m okay, the man who brought me home, his name is Mullen and he is here to protect me, do not worry I am completely safe.” “Okay....what are you mixed up in? Like is this a joke or.??” I pondered before smiling, “I’m a witch, and those two men I’ve been in recent contact with are gods, I’m not kidding, they’re gods.” I heard a choke on the other end of the line before he stuttered, “I bel-believe you...” I hummed in response and hung up. Mullen smiled at me. “Checking up on you huh?” I smiled “we unfortunately dragged him into this babe.” He smiled and stood from his chair and kissed me on the head. A silent way of saying for us to get back to work. -end of flashback- “Hey Hannah!” I turned to see kailyn and Abby staring at me, “yeah?” “What are you doing for Halloween? There’s this super cool party you might enjoy going to.” I smiled and thought of my plans, “as much as I’d love to I’m going to gatlinburg and trick or treating with my friends.” Abby nodded and smiled “that honestly sounds like so much fun!” Before I could respond our teacher yelled something about pumpkin spice doughnuts and the rest of the conversation was forgotten. -end of day- I stared at the old trees while thinking of tonight, it was going to be so much fun, luckily my parents finally agreed to let me go alone with my friends. I was finally going to have a normal outing with Mullen. Nothing was normal about my love for him and here I was getting excited for a date? What a strange concept, before I could continue my thoughts I felt myself getting shoved, there beside me was Kaylee and Kylie. They both had wide smiles and looked eager, “hey guys, ready for tonight?” They both nodded furiously, “HELL YEAH!” screamed Kaylee as she ran walked in pace with me and Kylie, I smiled thinking of my costume and what Mullen would think of it. I bid them both goodbye and promise to pick them up promptly at 5 before walking to my car, waiting beside it was lauren and grady, the eternal duo. “Hey mrs. Danger!” Said Lauren, I smiled in response. “How’s Mullen doing? Anything new just yet?” “Not so far, we haven’t seen any crows and on top of that I still can’t figure out what’s making my powers tick.” “Well last time I checked, you raging out definitely had a factor in it.” I hummed remembering when I had to make up a whole story about an earthquake in the library to all my friends after I caused a bunch of chairs and tables to flip on their sides and the coffee maker to completely slam against the wall and shatter after hearing a snide remark made to Lauren. I still don’t know how I’m able to hear things all the way across the room now, before I could continue the thought grady snapped me out of the train by asking something I didn’t quite catch. “Sorry could you repeat that?” Lauren rolled her eyes at me spacing out and grady smiled, “I asked how tonight’s date is gonna be, I know this is wrong to ask but are you thinking of going slutty for your date? Might make things more interesting?” I laughed, “as much as I love that, Kaylee and Kylie are meeting him and I need it to be perfect, I really don’t want them to hate him.” Lauren nodded, “are you going to tell them everything?” “I don’t know yet lauren...” she shrugged,”it’d make more sense if they knew the whole story.” I nodded knowing it was true. “We’ll see.” She smiled, “please be safe, grady and I are gonna go get high so we’ll call you tomorrow.” I smiled and hugged her goodbye. I toyed with the pendant around my neck before getting into the car and driving home. The strangest feeling setting in the air the closer I came to 5.

[youllneverknowmysecretidentity]

Chapter 9: Feel the light

(TW: BLOOD) I felt voices cut through my head, an echo, a chorus, a cry. Each of them staying at a healthy distance from my true conscience. Until, Mullen’s voice sliced through my haze, “I must kill him.” I felt his fear, anger, sadness. I knew I was dreaming, I was floating in a cloudy galaxy now, a man with white sat on one of the black wisps of air, he was larger than life. His skin glowed a silvery white, hair was almost glowing for how pristine and pure it looked, his eyes turned to mine. They were blue, no white or pupils, just an aqua blue. He shifted and sat sideways on the cloud, still staring at me. “I knew you’d show up eventually, I honestly expected you to find me sooner. I thought I was being sneaky with Ava giving you her book.” I shrugged, “she usually doesn’t let people borrow her things willy nilly like that. Why did you want me to know so bad?” He smiled, a smile almost similar to a father looking at his toddler, “you two, like fucking magnets, I can’t get over how pure it is. He bonded you last night didn’t he?” At the mention of my activities, I felt a pang on my side. Only to lift my shirt and see a burn mark already healed, a curved dash on one side of the circle, three dots on the other. A strange symbol but it brought me comfort, “it’s the symbol of a true king.” I stared back into the glowing mans eyes, “the circle symbolizes eternal strength, the curved dash represents the harshness that a king must have but the dots represent the kindness and gentleness he must also carry too.” At that moment I felt blood pour out my nose and into the black abyss above me. Visions of a kingdom, Mullen in a crown, not of gold but of iron, him screaming at an altar, the glowing man’s dying body lying on the center, a dark man standing over him with a spear dripping in blood. I start coughing up more blood, the glowing man was Huron. “How are you alive.” He laughed a boisterous laugh, “I’m not necessarily alive anymore, my power is nearly gone, I am just a small hunk of energy now, dying by the second. You however are getting more powerful, it’s no wonder you and Mullen are soulmates. You’re not a god but you’re definitely not human, a halfling? A ghost? Maybe a sorceress? They live as long as gods but they definitely are as weak as humans. Maybe you are that, you’re definitely already the most powerful out there. I’m getting off subject, I am dying. I am glad you came along, I wanted to see your face.” I watched my blood float through the void like colorful stars, changing shape and breaking apart, Huron continued on,” I trusted Mullen with my life and everything I have, Qion has taken what was rightfully Mullen’s, he was the only protection god that could easily kill an elite, he was the most honorable and powerful of them all, the only one that could shift into a flying lion. I knew he could be king of the gods when I stepped down, I was about to give him my throne when that dark bastard took everything from us.” I tear floated from his eye, it flowed and burst into flames before my eyes. He smiled, his face started to crackle and split into blue and white fragments, smoke came out of nowhere, I could smell burning hair, I started choking and drowning, my blood becoming too intense. Huron looked at me one last time and smiled, “I’m so glad I met you, please give Mullen his throne. My time has come.” With an explosion of light, the void became endless and dark, warm thick blood started to flow around me and entrap me in my grave. The last thing I saw before I drowned were nebulas decaying and popping like fireworks, an orange nebula stood alone in the black ink, ‘strange, it looks like a jack o’ lantern.’ I tasted only iron, I felt warmth and light on my face, I slowly opened my eyes, my window was open. I heard an exhale from beside me, “oh god I was so scared.” Mullen stood over my bed, he was still naked. He immediately moved his hand and wiped my nose, blood coated his fingertips and dripped into his palm, ” please tell me you’re okay.” I nodded, “Huron spoke to me.” His eyes widened, “he’s dead.” “He was dying, he used the last of his power to lure me into his section of reality before he passed, he told me of how he was giving you the throne.” Mullen nodded, he must have known, “what did he say of Qion?” “He called him a bastard.” Mullen laughed, “ that bastard I considered a father for a long time.” I furrowed my eyebrows,” what?” He looked at me a smiled, “long ago I was a bad god, I killed for sport, fought in wars for the fun of it. He trained me, made me so powerful not even he could defeat me sometimes. Then, he tried to take my soul, he wanted it so he could gain more energy, I ran out of fear. Huron took me in even though I was outcast from my species, he trained me to be better and to know better. I knew he trusted me but I didn’t know he trusted me with his kingdom.” Mullen sniffled, a singular hot tear rolled down his cheek. “I never wanted to let you see my past, the universe must have other plans.” I cupped his face, “I’m not even human Mullen, Huron wants me to take down your father and I’m not even sure I can do that. We gotta do this together or I’ll be damned for not helping you out. I might be selfish but I know better than to let the world die.” He took my hand and kissed each finger. “Let’s begin shall we?”

[youllneverknowmysecretidentity]

Chapter eight: gushing

(TW: THIS IS SMUT, JUST PURE FUCKING FILTH) I felt his hands grip tighter, I didn’t want to look at his face. I might regret what I said, I felt the demons try to build my walls back as fast as possible, I wouldn’t let them this time. I couldn’t, I already said the words. I need to seal the deal, “look at me Hannah.” I hesitated, I was so scared to see his face, was he angry? Was he happy? I looked into his eyes, he shared my tears, but a small smile danced on his lips, I shifted on the carpet, the shag itching my legs. He leaned in, it had been a week since he had touched me, it felt like a year. Our lips danced together in a dangerous dance, both of us daring the other to deepen and crack the barrier of clothes and skin. Daring to enter, I took the dare. I placed my hands on his shoulders and hoisted myself onto his lap, my body becoming hot and hungry. I didn’t care if I had just been injured or not slept all week, I needed him now. All of him. He seemed to get the memo, he pulled back, hesitating. “Hannah, you know if you continue on, I’m going to truly make love to you like a god, no condom, no anything. I have the power to not get you pregnant, but I need to know. Are you okay with fully sealing our bond? I will have to leave a mark.” I laughed, it was the first time I laughed in days. This truly was coming out to sound like some shitty teen novel. He must have sensed how cliche it sounded, he laughed with me. I nodded and smiled, “I already broke down my walls, don’t leave me out to dry.” He smiled an evil smile, “with me dove, you’ll never be dry.” Before I could make a smart quip back and pushed me to the floor and began to tear off my clothes. I couldn’t get my hands on him, he was still clothed, I needed him. I don’t think he cared, once my panties were off he spread my legs and began working my body. I felt heavenly, I squirmed and moaned. I wanted to beg for him to just take off his clothes and take me but something in the back of my head told me to keep my mouth shut. He continued to work me until I was nearly screaming, I had to nearly suffocate myself with a pillow. I felt him bite the insides of my thighs and leave love bites everywhere, “please Mullen take off your clothes.” I finally begged, he chuckled. “Of course.” He stripped slowly, his powerfully built body in the moonlight, he looked like a king, I leaned forward and ran my hands down his chest, he stopped for a moment to let me feel the hot skin. He grabbed my hand again and kissed it, before moving it down and placing it on the top of his pants, I took his pants off for him, letting him feel my hands skim over his clothes cock. He shivered, I pushed down his boxers. I stared at his manhood while he kicked off the last of his clothing, before I knew it, his hand was guiding my chin upwards and my eyes to his. “Come closer dove, I promise I won’t bite.” I scooted towards him, he placed his hands on my hips and guided me on top of him, I lowered onto him, it felt more painful than the first time, but the bliss immediately outweighed the pain, this was so much more pleasurable than with a condom, I felt everything. I felt the blood coursing through his veins, I felt his heartbeat. I began to ride him, I felt so small with him inside me, his hands stayed on the curves of my hips, he started to squeeze tighter, the bruises deepening and skin breaking almost, everything was heightened. He began to rise his hips with mine. I felt hot tears run down my chest and cheeks. I was crying again, this time from pure love, I couldn’t dare stand to do anything else at the moment, he pounded faster, I cried more. The pleasure began to take over my senses, I felt the hot coil in my stomach begin the break down and crack, one two three, I felt and thought I heard a snap, my senses dulled, I only felt pulses. I couldn’t hear see or breathe. I felt hot spurts inside of me, the grip on me stronger. I began seeing white light, before I knew it, a searing hot pain on my ribs, I felt like a brand had been burned into me. I didn’t care, my orgasm kept going, then I noticed I was being turned onto my stomach. My ass rising into the air, oh god. Before I knew it the coil was being tightened again, he was pounding harder than ever before, I could finally hear again, this one was punishment. His muttering was heard over my gasps for air, I heard him say “never be reckless again dove, you should’ve taken care of yourself dove. Don’t you dare do that again.” It made everything so much better, my eyes rolled back into my head and the coil snapped again. I heard him cuss “Jesus Hannah don’t fucking clench, fuck Christ.” I felt him come again. This time, I couldn’t gain back my consciousness. I felt the world slowly fade away, I heard him worriedly say my name before I faded into nothing.

[youllneverknowmysecretidentity]

Chapter seven: healing

(TW: blood, self abuse, talks of suicide, negative self thinking) Mullen’s p. o. v. She was avoiding contact, I knew what this was about, I had all day to think about it. She was avoiding something, she still had a wall up. So did I, but mine was for a good reason. Hers was silly, there’s nothing she could throw at me that I couldn’t handle. I huffed again, I couldn’t handle how Jonavah was looking at her, he whispered in her ear and put his hand around her shoulder. It was infuriating, I don’t understand why she froze so quickly, I mean if I was human then maybe I’d be scared too. I didn’t scare her right? She kept her eyes glued to the road, we were almost at the house, when she pulled in she didn’t even register that I had smoked away so that she could have a bit of peace. I was still angry, I needed to make it clear that what she did was dangerous. I just wasn’t sure how. My P. O. V. I was pissed, I couldn’t handle anything, in all the time I’ve know Mullen the only thing separating me from true happiness was the stupid fucking fact that he was always breathing down my spine. I wanted death now, I didn’t realize it but I’ve wanted it for so long, maybe Jonavah was my option. I want to know what Mullen is hiding from me, maybe I’m actually the pawn for Mullen. Maybe I’m already getting played? Maybe, maybe was a dangerous word I always had in my vocabulary, why couldn’t my brain shut the fuck up? I sat on my bed, the sky had already started the shift with the passing time. I wish I had time in my pocket, I’d always use it when I wanted peace. I felt the hot tears roll down my cheeks, I needed some release. I needed away from Mullen. I couldn’t stay with him, I just knew I was getting played. I just knew I was nothing. I couldn’t break my own promise. Not this one, not anymore. I stood from my bed and made my way to my desk, pulling out a pen and paper I wrote a letter that even broke my own heart. I tried to ignore the ripping feeling I had in my soul, that painful awful torment when a lover is taken away. I wanted to just be free. To have anyone inside. I didn’t want another soul in there. One was enough, why couldn’t I find the strength to sign it and throw it out the window, why couldn’t I. The air felt so cold, Halloween was nearing. I didn’t sign it, I threw it out the window, a second later I heard the sound of paper being crumpled up and tore. I felt my soul hurt even more. I felt weak. Useless, I know what I have to do. Mullen’s P. O. V. What the hell is she thinking?!?! I know she loves me, I know she won’t admit it, it’s okay if she won’t admit it but to simply say she never wants to see me again? It’s not that simple, I can’t just leave her alone it would physically kill me, and perhaps kill her too. A broken heart is a common death. I flew into the woods, i didn’t care what trees I tore down or who heard me, I’m sure some hick is out there thinking I’m the kill of a lifetime. The trees look like they’re burning, it only fuels my rage, i deafen the forest with my roars. Halloween is coming. I can’t handle the noise, i cant do this without her, shes my purpose now, how the hell can I show her I’m not going to hurt her. A week later Hannah’s P. O. V. A whole week passed without seeing Mullen, I haven’t eaten in two days, slept in four. I feel so insignificant, so jaded. I feel more played now than ever, I want to know why I can’t die. C talked to me yesterday, he kept on trying to coax out of me why I looked dead, I felt dead. Lauren and Grady are concerned as ever, I haven’t even bothered to pick up the book about the gaelic gods. I never want to see his face again. Ava constantly asks me about it, i feel bad for wasting her time. I cried myself silly in bed last night again. It’s finally Friday, I want the world to end. I stared at my car as the parking lot traffic passed, I told my mom today I would walk the library trail. Maybe I’ll be okay, maybe. You know, after a while the word maybe becomes better and better, it’s not yes but it’s not no, it’s the happy in-between. Something life never really gets to have, you can only have a shitty extreme. I like the word maybe. It means maybe, I’ll lean to the good extreme one day. The trail was empty, the sky cloudy and the world dark. The skin whipped my face like an angry captor, I almost wished it would hit harder, the tears kept on falling and taking the hits for me. I want the tears to stop. They’re so dramatic, I’m sick of them. I’m don’t even notice a body following me until I hear the footfalls, I could smell it before I saw it. It was Cs cologne, or at least attempt at cologne. I always got sick when I smelled it. He was obviously trying to catch up to me, I sped up my steps. “Hannah wait!” I ignored it, kept my face to the pavement. Until I slammed into a dark chest in front of me, I felt all the wind knock out of me. Jonavah stared me down, he smiled a wicked smile. “Aw dove~ are you crying,” only Mullen called me dove. “Someone is trying to catch you, let’s take care of him shall we?” He smiled again and chuckled, I turned to C, he stopped mid run and stared with confused eyes, I tried to signal for him to run. As much as I hated him, he didn’t deserve this fate. No one did, except me. He stared like an idiot obviously, jonavah made a few steps to him, smoke billowing out from where he stepped. “Now you skinny mortal, I’d say you crossed the line chasing my kill like this. And now you’ve seen me. Shame, you would’ve made an amazing slave.” I choked on my air, I tried to scream, Mullen wasn’t here, I couldn’t save both of us. I knew the only thing I could do. I ran to jonavah, ignoring Cs protest and pushed jonavah as hard as I could, I had a slight element of surprise. He went down fast but not hard, I turned and took off running as fast as I could carry myself, I kept running until a solid hit to my back sent me down. I landed with a hard thud. My head hit the pavement, warm blood gushed down my hair, I turned over to my side. My eyesight got fuzzy, I could hear a far off voice of the Welsh god, he laughed. His laugh bubbling in my brain like toxic ooze. I tried to tune out his voice, the pavement cold on my cheek, it felt soothing, a warm feeling like gushing with life, and a cold cheek chilling with each second I lose blood. I shed a final tear. Waiting for a cease, but nothing came, instead a crack of thunder and then a flash of gold, standing before me was Mullen, he had tears in his eyes, I couldn’t make out his features well but from what I could see, he just wanted to protect me. I felt the black ink of melancholy lift off me. I cried more tears. Soon my shoulders were being shook, it was C, he was shaking me and trying to wake me up. I slowly rose, he gripped my shoulders in his hands and screamed for me to run, I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the nearest forest opening. He stopped me, “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, THEYRE FUCKING MONSTERS, ALL OF THEM, WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO KILL YOU, HOLY SHIT.” I slapped him, I didn’t know why. But it worked, he shut up just in time for me to slur to him, “the golden one, the king, he protects me.” Then like a flash of lightning, images flooded my brain, images of Mullen in a golden coat, crown on his head, he screamed a war cry, jonavah behind him, a dark old man driving a spear through a man wearing white. Me. In a green gown sitting on a throne, I dropped to my knees. Blood gushing out my nose. I started to cry, i heaved up non existent food. The roars grew silent and a familiar smell of jasmine and pennies filled the air. C gasped and screamed, “stay the fuck away from us!” I could hear him yell at the boy to shut up. Strong hands were on me, I flinched then cried. I didn’t want to be separated from him again, I stayed in his arms. C stared at us for a second, “so he’s a good guy?” Mullen nodded, his deep voice vibrating my body, “my sole purpose is to protect Hannah. To love her, to care for her.” I could see the debate in Cs face, “we need to take her to a doctor.” Mullen shook his head, “she doesn’t have a concussion, I need to get her home, she does need to be cleaned up though.” He picked me up easily and placed me in my car. He turned to C, “go home, never speak of this or I WILL consider you a threat.” He nodded and scurried off to his car. Mullen began driving home, “your mother is currently at the store so you don’t have to worry about her seeing the blood, I do want you to take a hot shower and sleep. You hurt yourself.” I nodded, upon arrival at the home I stared at the bathroom in fear, I was so scared to see my body, he guided me to the bathroom and helped me undress, he didn’t dare touch me. Leaving me to clean, I scrubbed the red water away and stared as it drained, I was mortified by what I saw. I wanted to know. When I got out of the shower, I saw a note saying ‘I must find jonavah, I will return.’ I waited till midnight. He came in my room, his anger obvious, I only added fuel to the fire by the fact I was awake. He stared in irritation. I stared back in defiance, “I have to know, why were you wearing a crown, why did I have a vision of you wearing a crown.” He stared then sighed, “you didn’t read the book did you.” I shook my head, he smiled then handed me the borrowed book from Ava, page already dog eared for me, there, in bold lettering. I saw the truth, MULLEN: KING OF THE PROTECTORS RIGHTFUL RULER OF THE LIGHT. I stared at the book then dropped it, I cried again, he held me. I sobbed for 20 minutes babbling about nothing, i babbled about my week and how I couldn’t sleep I babbled about how I was so scared of being with him and how scared I was of not knowing anything. He only held me, tighter with each sob. At the end of my word vomit, I realized my walls had been broken, I felt like I had holes all over me, they gushed and oozed more than my head wound. My heart pounded and fluttered at the same time, my stomach trembled and rose into my throat. My hands shook like earthquakes and sweated bullets. I stared at him, and froze, everything stopped, the wind, the trees, the birds, the bees, the shaking in my knees and my whole body. I even stopped breathing, in that moment I felt peace, I felt cared for, I felt truly safe. No doubt no sadness no anger. I exhaled, “I love you Mullen.”

[youllneverknowmysecretidentity]

Chapter 6: a mirror

(TW: yelling, talks of sex, talks of sexual assault, angst) I didn’t want to be here, not at school, not at home, surely not anywhere. I felt like every nerve was exposed, old ancient nerves from past problems, current nerves that couldn’t seem to get the message and cut off their fucking blood supply. All of it felt like a cruel joke. I hated it, Mullen seemed to enjoy himself. I did too, but I was not letting him in. I refused to say those words, I can’t give myself up that easily. The October air was unusually hot, it added to my discomfort in everything. I wanted to throw something breakable at a wall. I tried to clear my head at breakfast, the crisp smell of cooking eggs and coffee filled the air. My father goes to work later than usual these days, he’s always on his phone though, my mother will occasionally come down and greet us, but she barely sleeps and needs to stay in bed. I stared at my reflection in the microwave glass while waiting for the pot to heat up my water. “Hey varmit, are you okay?” I knocked myself out of my trance and forced a smile, “yeah dad I’m fine, just tired.” He nodded before turning and leaning on the counter, “how’s school going? Your grades seem so good.” I stared back into my reflection trying to hide the pain from the question, in all honestly all I had been doing was school work, swim, and then sleep. Not that I had been getting any recently, I only got sleep whenever Mullen was-. “Yeah it’s fine, busy but fine.” I cut off my thoughts before I could continue with Mullen. My dad patted my shoulder before saying, “you’re awesome kid, don’t forget that.” With that he put away his plates and headed out the door. I continued to look at my reflection, my makeup was done for the first time in weeks, simple winged eyeliner and mascara was enough to make me feel pretty, my tight shirt and jeans added to the mix. In reality, three non stop nights of sex gave me a bit more confidence. But killed me with anxiety, I felt choked, beaten, in a whirlwind of emotion. It didn’t matter if we had attraction or a soul connection. I had vows, to never hear a boy say I love you, to never let myself go like that again. It was aggravating how my walls seemed to turn to dust at the sight of him. I needed something, pulling out my phone I shot a text to Grady. ME: hey, I got about $10. Is that enough for a pack? GRADY: yeah, that’s fine. Is everything okay? U usually don’t buy ur own packs. ME: I’m a little stressed, everything about my situation is killing me. GRADY: u want to hang out with me n Lauren this afternoon? I’ll have the pack by then? ME: sounds good, thanks. With that I put my phone away and headed to school. The morning air was harsh with students anger and the fumes of drop off traffic. The first few minutes sitting in the parking lot before school was usually spent watching the crowds and figuring out who they were just by how they walked or talked. It was a small talent of mine. A knocking on my window took me out of my trance, in all her pink haired glory stood Ava with a small book in her hand. “Hey dude, you seemed like you’ve been having a rough past few weeks, I brought this so maybe you could get some sketches in to make you feel better?” I smiled genuinely taking the mythology book from her, Ava was always thoughtful. “Thanks man, I don’t know what id do without you.” She smiled, “I’m obviously the best, my girlfriend thinks so too.” “Alright you fabulous gay bitch move so I can open my door.” She smiled and moved. This day was going to be great. END OF DAY I stared at my phone waiting for the clock to hit 3:20. Grady seemed tense beside me, we both just wanted the day to end. He leaned over and talked just low enough so no one else could hear “my mom bought the cigs, I’m gonna swing by and grab them before meeting you guys at Vienna?” I nodded, “thanks Grady” he smiled “always helping a fellow angsty teen.” I smiled and thought back to Mullen. I knew he loved me, there was no denying that. The issue I had was with myself, how did I know if this was going to end the way I wanted? The clock finally struck 3:20 and the bell rang for us to leave. I texted my mom I was on my way to Vienna and drove to the coffee house not too far away, upon arrival I could see Lauren’s car parked, her music obviously blaring thanks to her top notch speakers. I knocked on her window, she turned and smiled, “holy shit! Hey! I thought you were coming later?” I shrugged, “nah I don’t wanna go home just yet.” “Interesting, well Grady will come later, you wanna go inside and get settled?” I smiled and nodded, we grabbed our bags and made our way to the booth sections of the coffee house. I checked my surroundings before getting comfortable. Lauren smiled, “I missed you girl, I knew we hung out recently and stuff but you’re just not all there, I know with the whole protection god things and such. But still, you’re always staring off into space.” I nodded, she was right, I’d been so distracted thinking about Mullen and his feelings. “Yeah, I have been a bit brain dead I guess.” Just as I was about to start telling her why I was so anxious, Grady walked into the door, he playfully shook the pack of cigarettes at me then handed them to me when he arrived at the booth, “one pack of lung cancer for the pretty lady.” I smiled as he sat down by Lauren. I was always envious of their relationship. It was real and transparent. At least on the surface. We ordered our drinks and things were peaceful for a half hour, I had no fear whatsoever. It was almost suspicious, my suspicions were confirmed when the hairs on the back of my neck stood. I noticed Grady and Lauren’s face turning white and I happened to follow my gaze to find my worst nightmare, it was jonavah, staring me down. I never told them about jonavah, or how it led to me sleeping with Mullen. They must have known he was trouble because of how hard he was staring at me. His eyes were practically black. I shuddered, turning back to Lauren and Grady, I muttered, “its the raven, it sent a message to that man over there.” I wanted to explain more, I really did but Lauren’s eyes darted to me and then behind me rather alarmingly. He was beside us in seconds, “well hello again beautiful, fancy seeing you here without your little pet.” He sat himself down without hesitation, “ah you must be the lovely friends of hers, let me introduce myself, my name is jonavah, I’m the mage of darkness. I’m quite close with Hannah here, her little boyfriend is an old friend of mine.” I sneered but didn’t dare talk back, i didn’t know what he was capable of and wasn’t keen on finding out. “You smell different, look different too. Has someone been sleeping?” I looked at him, I was alarmed, he knew something, could he smell Mullen on me? I knew I smelled slightly like jasmine but not an excruciatingly high amount. His face dropped in seconds. “He did it, I didn’t think he had it in him. Shocked he didn’t kill you.” I thought back to the memories, Mullen was rough, there were points I almost told him to stop but the pleasure always outweighed the pain. “That’s too bad, he didn’t claim you though.” He smirked and wrapped an arm around me, ���well that means more for me.” I shuddered, I then felt my neck vibrate again, I looked out the window, there in the street was Mullen. He was irate, I didn’t think he would be able to control himself from killing jonavah, before he could lunge at him, jonavah disappeared and left our trio completely terrified. I started crying, I couldn’t take the taunting or what the hell claiming meant. I’m not property. I sure as hell will never be ‘owned’. Lauren moved to my side of the booth and began to hold me. Mullen raced into the coffee house and looked at us. “You all need to go home now, I will drive Hannah home.” “NO.” I shouted, I stood from the booth, “I’m not letting you cheufer me around like a child.” I walked past him and into the parking lot. Entering my car, he was already inside, “Hannah listen to me, he’s very dangerous and he’s going to hurt you, why the hell wont you let me in, LISTEN TO ME.” The final tone of his sentence terrified me, he was angry. It wasn’t even an outburst angry, it was a calm anger that could melt an iceberg, I took a deep breath and cranked the car. He huffed.

[youllneverknowmysecretidentity]

Chapter 5: Wonder

Mullen’s POV Watching her go was hard, a whole weekend spent on feeling her bare skin on mine. The cruel feeling of reliving the memories lingered in his brain, the high pitched mewls and whimpers when he touched her where she needed him most. Her ragged breaths, the way her nails dig into his back, the contact of his hips on hers, likely to leave bruises. He didn’t mean to get so rough, he had specifically tried to bury his urges because of that, but after seeing Jonavah touch her and threaten to use her like some whore. It made his blood boil, he had only wanted to protect her, not only from danger but from the world. He tried to hide his need for her. His soul no doubt latched on, but the attraction was getting harder to hide. This weekend proved his failure, every night they spent tangled in the sheets, the first night was gentle, but beautiful, he felt like the stars had moved just for them, they melded perfectly and were made for each other. The second night was hilarious, she had been bathing and he got impatient, she ended up slipping in the shower and he managed to catch her before any real noise was made. The final time however, was terrifying for him, he had told her over her dinner that he was terrified to truly let himself go, he was much stronger. “Hannah I cannot fathom how scared I am about hurting or killing you.” She smiled, “what is this twilight? Just fuck me already.” With those words he saw her signature smirk and eye brow raise. That night was filled with noises he will never forget, his grunting and moaning, her mewls and occasional squeak from an unexpected feeling, her pleading when his mouth was on her heat, a very breathy yet meaningful I love you from him, replied with a moan to go faster. Even after three nights of sex she had always looked at his cock with surprise and a little bit of fear, she was small and tight. She felt so good, he couldn’t imagine how he felt to her. He knew when she was actually cumming and when she was faking it, it was easy to push her over the edge, he knew her needs and how to turn her into putty. But now, he couldn’t do that, she was putting on her clothes for school, expertly hiding the bruises on her breasts and stomach, her hips with an assortment of hand marks. He felt bad, she turned to him and smiled, he knew she enjoyed it, that it felt heavenly. He stared from her bed, it was a simple queen, in the palace of the gods it would have been so much bigger, he wished the system wasn’t so fucked up so he could bless her with the royalties of the realm. But he gladly took this over dealing with Qion. So lost in thought he didn’t notice her walk out of the room. He took this chance to look over what she had, her makeup all spread out on her desk, she barely wore makeup. Why was she now? Her bags still on the floor but all gathered and ready to go, she never failed to be prepared and organized. He thought back to the clothes she was wearing, today was slightly warmer so she was wearing her standard ripped jeans but he didn’t understand the shirt, it was a regular tee, except it was much tighter and fit to her waist. Why was she wearing this? He of course enjoyed seeing her waist and hips but he wasn’t going to be seeing her the rest of the day. He pondered until he felt his hair stand on end, he could sense a raven. Quickly he dressed and smoked to outside. There on the edge of the woods was jonavah and a raven. He changed into a beast and made chase.

[youllneverknowmysecretidentity]

Chapter 4- Broken

WARNING: NSFW, TALKS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, SEX, LET ME KNOW IF I LEFT ANYTHING OUT I knew what he was trying to do, I had felt his presence several times while working on homework, I knew he was trying to coax me into relaxation. Nearly a month of knowing him and the same wave of calm swept over me when he came near. I hated it, I didn’t want him to win. His outburst made me angry and he knew it. This was his way of apologizing, by waiting for me to calm down. He’d wait an eternity if he had to, he was patient. I knew he was right, there was danger, but I wasn’t helpless. None of us were. I sure as hell wasnt going to be ordered around like an animal. I looked back at him after the fourth hour of him checking on me. He still held an angry gaze but behind the smoke was a sense of sadness and a puppy like aura. I sighed and took his hand, “I’m still mad, but I’ll take a break.” He smiled weakly before disappearing into smoke again. I walked downstairs to make supper, a quick soup would suffice for me. I felt a presence behind me again, I suspected it to be Mullen so I shook my head and turned around. Boy was I wrong, behind me stood a man, taller but skinnier in build. Darker short hair and a thin patchy beard to match, his eyes were as dark as night and he had a darker suit to match. His grin said cocky, and so did his wide stance. He gave me a disgustingly slow once over before leaning his arm against the kitchen cabinets. “Well hello hello.” He had a thick British accent, less subtle and beautiful like Mullen’s, louder and higher. “You must be the beautiful little mortal our dear protector decided to drag along for the ride, I say, he did a good pick. You look scrumptious.” I sneered and he sauntered closer, “my names jonavah, I’m one of the mages of darkness. I knew your dear protector for a long time, hundred years to be exact. I was born recently though. Thanks to Qion.” “Why are you here?” He chuckled dryly, “oh just to see what old lion breath has gotten himself into, the ravens are quite talkative you know, it won’t be long before Qion catches a whiff of you. I figured I’d have a taste before he takes you for himself. You see, it’s rare a god attaches itself to a human, when it happens it usually means said human has immeasurable powers, wonder why you’re so special hm?” He stepped slowly, only a foot away before pulling his hand out of his pocket and tucking a piece of hair back behind my ear. He stared for several seconds before moving in, I tried to move away but he must have frozen me or something, he put his lips to my ear. Kissing lightly before whispering, “you know, I don’t think he’s truly taken you, be a shame to taint you.” I exhaled sharply, inhale Hannah remember to breathe, he always told you to breathe. Inhaling made everything worse, I could taste the flowers and copper in the air, Mullen was right behind him. Jonavah raised himself and spun on his heel, “hello fur ball, glad you made it, I was afraid you wouldn’t be able to introduce us.” Mullen didn’t speak, there were no words to match what he felt, his face was frozen, his eyes ablaze, his jaw locked like a padlock. I feared more for my safety than jonavahs. Mullen took a step to him, jonavah chuckled, “you were always the silent type, the ravens are already on their way to the east. I can’t wait for his response. I guarantee that she will be a wonderful toy for him in the kingdom, she oughta serve a purpose somehow. Though, we need to find what she’s truly capable of.” Before he could finish turning to me, Mullen grabbed his shoulder and shoved him onto the counter, pressing harder into the granite. He still didn’t speak, he could not. He only grunted and growled. Jonavah laughed, “don’t worry old boy, we’ll see each other.” He dissolved into a black mist that soon disappeared entirely. I finally got movement into my body, I collapsed on the ground. Mullen quickly moved to me and picked me up. “Are you okay?” His gravely voice broke the silence, I nodded and he sat me onto a couch and handed me a soup. He motioned for me to eat and made his way back into the kitchen to clean up. 12 a.m. it was midnight and I could not sleep. Mullen was god knows where. I assumed patrol, or something of the sort. Lauren called me earlier said nothing had happened yet. I feared more for how Mullen was acting. A low grunt broke the silence, I turned to see Mullen walk into my room, he threw off his coat and outer layers, before I could ask him what was wrong he put his mouth on mine and shoved me onto the bed. He grabbed my wrists and pinned them onto the bed. He had only kissed me twice before that. Both short but breathtaking. Long seconds of teeth gnashing and heavy panting ensued. His body like a ton on top of mine, his raw heat almost burning to the touch. Before he could go any further he backed off of me, letting go of my wrists he looked into my eyes, terrified. He was holding himself back, I could sense the hesitation and shame in his shoulders. I caught my breath before piping up, “so you gonna finish what you started or what?” He looked his eyes on me, “Hannah I can’t, what if I kill you? I’ve never done this with a human before. And certainly not someone I cared about.” I tilted my head, “I doubt you’ll kill me, but if you’re scared then we can wait. I know getting pregnant would also be a bad idea too.” He chuckled, “trust me, I’m fully ready, are you?” I nodded slowly, he turned and pulled a small box of condoms out of his jacket pocket. “Were you planning on this?” “Well, after we had that conversation about sex with gods a week ago, I got it just in case you ever felt ready for this.” I smiled at the memory, his hands were on my thighs while I asked him the questions, gods surprisingly didn’t value sex like humans did, they rarely saw it as emotional and purely just a need to gain personal control and mortal control. Which is why he was such an outcast, the goddesses had sometimes forced themselves on him and all he truly wanted was the love making like he saw in humans. I was dragged out of my memory by a hand cradling my face, I stared into Mullen’s eyes. I knew he was still scared, I leaned in slowly, letting him set the pace. After a few agonizing seconds of me leaning in, he took control. First with the lips, he locked his on mine and kissed hard. Second he worked his shirt off and slowly dragging mine off as well, not quickly either, he ran his rough fingertips over my waist and back. Taking time into my hands I slid off my bra for him. He raked his eyes over my body and blew out a shaky breath. I guided his rough hands onto my breasts and let him feel me. He gained his composure and began taking control again. I soon got lost into a flurry of kissing and throwing clothes, I fell into ecstasy. All my times before were never compared to this, he was bigger than anything I’ve had before, but after adjusting he felt as if he belonged. His body felt molded to mine, I wanted this forever and to continue till the end of the world. When we had finished, I was exhausted, letting my head fall to his chest I felt him truly relax under me, and my body slumped into total bliss. Before I fell asleep I heard three little words that I had vowed I would never hear from a boy again. I love you.

[youllneverknowmysecretidentity]

Chapter 3- a memoir

Hell, fuckin hell. My childhood I spent hoping for adventure, hoping for a journey, or my mark on the world. This, is just shit. Why did I have to ask for this again? Don’t get me wrong Mullen is enjoyable, hot, and gentle. I just don’t particularly enjoy being a target, after last night I realized that if he was chased out of his home by a god of darkness, how long would it be until they sensed he set his sights on a weak mortal? Hence my excessive internal cursing. Waking up today was the hardest it’s been in a year or so, on days I didn’t want to be existent I just sat and stared at the wall until my mom yelled at me, now I can’t even seem to find the motivation then. My mother’s footsteps echoed through the halls and into my room. “Hannah! Are you still asleep??” I looked over to her with apathy, “yeah, I just have a skull splitting migraine.” I wasn’t lying, the amount of information spinning in my head about Mullen was killing me emotionally. “I’m sorry Hannah, I don’t think you should miss school though, take some aspirin with you and don’t go to practice later.” She walked out and began her day. I got dressed as well as I could and made my way downstairs to already see coffee and breakfast, dad must have left a little later. Eating was hard, drinking was even harder. The feeling of apathy was washing through my veins and into my spirit. When I finally finished my morning routine and was ready to go, I dreaded seeing people I knew, blasting music might help. “You look exhausted dove, are you alright?” I jumped and looked over to see Mullen, he wasn’t wearing his trademark hide trench coat or his feather necklace, I then realized that I completely missed them laying in my back seat as I was packing my car. “Did you sleep in my car?” He blushed and shrugged, “I was afraid someone would notice me if I slept on the roof and I wanted to bid you a good school day before I went hunting.” “Hunting?” He nodded, “yes, although I’m a god I cannot go without food, the beast part of me prefers wild kill, plus, I picked up a foreign presence in the woods here in town, I need to check it out.” I nodded, so he’s becoming a guardian of the town too, that actually pretty cool. “Well good luck on your hunting then, don’t get killed.” He chuckled, “I should be bidding you good luck, you’re uneasy. People are stressing you out.” I widened my eyes and stared at the parking lot entrance, I sped into a parking space and aggressively put my car into park. “I’m not just stressed about that!” He looked taken back but lowered his head for me to continue so I did. “Everything has been so stressful recently, people abandoning me for some dumb ass rumor, a coach who barely goes to me for advice anymore, my teammates who barely speak to me, and now a god who’s attached his soul to me and I feel exposed again, like an open wound! I never wanted romance again and now the scar is fresher and I’m tense!” He curved his eyebrows in concern, and then lowered them in frustration, “I know people have been cruel, i cannot kill them, that would put me on Qions radar, but I can assure you that I’m here to protect you, I care for you and my soul is yours. I promise not to hurt you.” I lowered my head, “I’m not worried about you hurting me, I’m worried about me hurting you, I shouldn’t lash out on people but I’m always so angry.” He put a hand on my shoulder and I relaxed. “Dove, I vow to calm you.” I looked at him with watery eyes, then to the clock. “Don’t worry you still have 20 minutes, let me tell you a funny story.” He then proceeded to hand me a small amulet with a tiny wooden lion on the end, the size of a dime. He put it around my neck and smiled. “Well the story starts about 1,000 years ago....” The headache went away after lunch, my TA block was quieter this time. I stared out the library window, it had started raining about an hour ago, I toyed with the lion around my fingertips. So distracted by it I never sensed someone behind me, “hey you doing okay?” I looked over to see Grady, I smiled and motioned for him to sit down. “I guess, just a little stressed after everything.” He nodded,” people are dicks, no one likes when you speak your mind and maryville trusts a rumor more than the person itself.” “I guess so, can I tell you something? And you promise not to tell anyone?” He nodded and smiled, “even if you were hiding a dead body in your car I would still not talk.” I smiled, “I met someone.” “Woah, do I know him?” “That’s the hard part, it’s a really long story....” “HES A WHAT?!?!” I shushed Lauren as people headed to their cars began to stare, “he’s gotta be lying Hannah there’s no way he’s some ‘protection god’ he’s gotta be some pedo or something of the sort.” “She’s got a point Hannah, your story was good and all but there’s something he’s hiding.” I nodded feeling defeated but I knew this reaction would come, “fine, let me show you then.” “How?” I looked at Lauren and smiled, “Friday after school, clear your schedules and come hike with me on a trail not too far from here, he likes to reside in those parts.” Lauren squinted at me and smiled, “you’ve gone crazy, but you’re still the chaotic Hannah we remember. I’m in.” Grady spun his head and looked at her, “what if she’s planning on leading us to that killer?” “Cmon, Hannah doesn’t have an evil bone in her body, plus I trust her.” I smiled and hugged them both, “you’ll both be in for the shock of your life!” Grady groaned and muttered something about being in his grave. I didn’t listen and instead chose to drive home and get ready for Friday. Wednesday- “So what does he look like?” Lauren slid into a chair beside me at the lunch table. I rolled my eyes and thought for a moment. “Well, he’s got blue green eyes that are just beautiful, he’s not short but he’s not tall, very muscular build, brownish blonde hair, a nice beard, he’s got a deep British accent.” She smiled, “He a bad boy?” “Nah, he’s a gentle soul but I definitely feel like he’d get his hands dirty if it was necessary.” Grady stared us down before piping in,”getting his hands dirty like killing us in the woods?” “Oh please give it a break, he’s not gonna kill us.” “He does transform into a lion though.” Lauren and Grady looked at me before I smiled and continued,”big lion with shiny black fur, he’s the size of a grizzly bear and almost has the build of one while still keeping a lion shape, and the most beautiful eagle wings you could lay your eyes upon, it’s truly a sight to behold.” Lauren smiled, “yep, definitely gone crazy.” Friday- The day of was hectic, Lauren constantly reminded me of the hiking trip and Grady was too busy making a mental list of any weapon he needed to bring, I told him his best weapon was going to be a smile. The final bell rung and our group rushed out the door and into our respective cars, shooting a quick text to my mom letting her know I was going to the trail, I sped through the parking lot, a lion with Golden heavenly wings on my mind. We finally arrived to the trail and started to make our way to the trail head, “stop.” Grady said suddenly, “you’re sure that this is safe and we’re not going into some formulated death trap?” I smirked, “if I wanted to kill you so badly, I would have done it already.” Lauren laughed and continued walking into the trail Grady following closely behind. We stayed on the trail for a good mile or so. I began to get nervous that I would not see him, I had told him the night before that I wanted him to see my friends and that he could trust them. I hope he’s not hiding. “So does he disguise himself as a tree?” I looked back at Grady and raised an eyebrow, “no, he just hasn’t shown himself yet. MULLEN!!! MULLEN!!!” “Mullen is an odd name.” Lauren pinched him, “it’s Irish Gaelic for warrior.” She retorted. I stopped when I smelled it, the coppery flowery smell of him, over time he gained more musk but he was still unmistakable. It was getting stronger, I looked back at the distracted couple and stared for a few seconds at their banter, the air shifted and I felt a presence behind me. “Do couples always have to banter like that?” I chuckled, “we do too Mullen.” Lauren stopped mid sentence and whipped around to see Mullen, her jaw dropped and she stared very obviously at him. Grady studied his frame and wardrobe, “you were right about the crazy coat.” Lauren snapped out of her trance and pinched him again. “It’s nice to meet you Grady and Lauren, Hannah has spoken endlessly about you.” Lauren stepped up to Mullen and shook his hand and offered and kind smile, “I’m glad to finally meet you, you don’t look like a murderer at all.” She said pointedly at Grady. Grady rolled his eyes and weakly shook Mullen’s hand. “You must have questions and concerns?” “Do you change into some beast?” Grady said suddenly, Mullen winced at the word beast. He had never enjoyed other people calling him and beast although he called himself one often. “Yes I do, would you like to see?” Grady nodded hesitating slightly, Mullen smirked and turned around before erupting into a cloud of smoke and golden glitters, his eagle feather necklace floating up before popping into a cloud of feathers that took shape into two wings before flapping powerful gusts of air that knocked us off our feet, plowing away the smoke. A lion approached, his eyes still the same but his body changed. Grady exhaled and stood. “Jesus you were right Hannah.” The lion tilted his head and then turned to me and offered his mane for affection, I gladly gave him what he craved before grabbing my friends hands and letting them touch the mane. “We have so many questions, please change back and explain everything.” Lauren said almost in a begging tone. Mullen shifted quickly back into his man form and adjusted the feather on his neck and motioning us to sit on some logs and rocks. He guided me to sit on the same rock as him leaned against a tree and wrapped his arm around me protectively. “Well first, I’m a protection god. In the land of old there were 4 different classes of gods: the elites which ruled and shaped the land with their mighty powers, the mages which much like the elites kept a ruler ship on the land but on much more specific subjects, the protectors which is where I fall we fought all forms of monsters, killers, and evil, we were highly respected but often were left out due to our common lack of powers; and finally the halflings these were caused by the elites abusing their powers on humans and taking part in.....humanly pleasures. They were powerful enough to take down an elite as they had the will and emotion of a human but the strength and power of a god. Many halflings took down their parents, but in the social system they still were considered lesser than, later on however the world changed and more cultures were created, our godly kingdom expanded and we soon found more gods out there. A war broke out 5,000 years ago and 80% of the gods were killed. We only had four elites left. Huron, the god of weather, Iransha, the goddess of light, arayma, the goddess of the sea, and Qion, the god of darkness and the dead. Most mages were dead but the few who remained were the mages of war, wisdom, the arts, and fauna. Us protection gods soon became quite popular for protection of the mages as only 20 remained, Huron soon forbade gods to mate with humans as halflings caused the Great War that killed so many brothers and sisters. But soon, Qion grew bitter over Hurons rule, Huron was a wise ruler but was still boisterous and arrogant. He hid away monsters and let humans fight amongst themselves and even forget the gods existence, the mages no longer did their work and protection gods became greedy of temples and treasures. Qion was bitter, he knew protection gods were powerful enough to take down an elite. We protectors did not know that however. He began to kill us off slowly then gained speed after accidentally killing a mage. Once most of us were dead and the rest in hiding. He killed the mages, then the two elite goddesses, he battled Huron for 100 years until.....” Mullen choked on his words slightly. “I froze them in stone......I didn’t know I possessed the power to do it, but, I blasted them with something I honestly cannot remember. They froze and stayed in stone. Qions plans for the world were to turn the underworld into its own god system with monsters ruling the people and to return people to what he believed was the rightful state, slavery.” He lowered his head, I felt his arm go tense over my shoulder, “they unfroze recently and I had to flee, three mages are still alive. They helped trap Huron in a cage in the underworld, Qion will be looking for me. His monsters will find me eventually. I attached my soul to Hannah’s. Now my only purpose is to care for Hannah in any way she sees fit.” He looked up at us, he had tears in his eyes. Lauren covered her mouth slightly trying to hold back tears. “You’re going to protect her to the bitter end aren’t you?” He nodded and began to rub his thumb reassuringly into my shoulder. “So, can humans kill a god?” Grady said. Mullen chuckled, “I’ve seen it before, takes a special type of metal, and weapon with holy runes. You can’t put the runes on their without a ceremony though” Grady nodded, “you know the ceremony?” “Yes I do, but you’re not going to be able to kill Qion, or the mages, maybe a monster or two but I know if you two start fighting Hannah will want to join and I cannot allow that.” I sagged slightly, feeling defeated that he would not allow any adventure. He must have noticed my sadness and piped up. “I can however offer you three something better than fighting.” We leaned in to hear his answer, “flight.” I smiled, this would be the first time I rode him while he was a lion, Lauren got up excitedly and Grady followed hesitating. “So were gonna let you fly us around?” Mullen nodded before shifting into his beast form, he lowered himself for me and let the trio of us hop on. He began to trot and pick up speed until we were air born. I could hear Grady screaming in the back and Lauren whooping. The ride was exhilarating, looking down we saw the fiery colors of Tennessee autumn lining the forests and roads converging like river veins or roots in a plant. The sky was a blue with pink hue and the clouds smelled of crisp air and water. He flew higher until we collided with clouds and felt the cool comfort of heavens mattresses. The ride was short, the smell of rotting flesh invaded my sinuses and tainted the crisp smells. I looked over and gasped, flying beside us, was a dead bird. A raven, with rotting meat adorning its pale and dried bones, red eyes glowing, piercing into my soul. Mullen noticed it and growled while leaning us away from the raven. The raven stuttered and shook before turning and following us, “zombie bird is following us!” Grady yelled. Mullen picked up speed and roared, the raven shook and spurred away seeming scared by the deafening roar of Mullen. We landed shortly after and Mullen shifted into man, frustrated he paced the forest floor before stopping and looking at us. “You all need to go home now, it was stupid of me to expose you like that. That was a scout, Lauren and Grady, go home. I promise no danger to you if you leave as soon as possible. Try not to go into any forests for a while and if anything happens please call Hannah. Hannah, I am taking you home and keeping watch on you.” He stared me down with authority before we all headed to our vehicles. The ride home was tense, looking over to Mullen every few minutes, I could sense his anger. His jaw tensions obvious underneath his beard. My hands began to quiver slightly. He must have noticed as the wheel of the car shifted from my shaking. He put his hand slowly over the wheel to steady my hands. “Hannah, let me drive.” I shook my head and continued on the road, already a few minutes from home. “I’m concerned.” I looked at him and breathed a sigh. “I know you are.” I pulled into my drive way and went inside without sparing him another glance. My mom was sat where she usually was just writing away in her notebook. I said a quick hello and made up a story about hiking with Lauren and Grady and then made my way to my room to distract myself with homework.

[youllneverknowmysecretidentity]

Chapter 2- bonding

Fall break came and went with time, my time was spent either spending time with family, sleeping, or talking to him. The first night after I met him he had somehow gotten into my house, “just because I said I was a beast doesn’t mean I don’t have at least one or two powers.” The smile on his face said smug but he still held a calm aura. “Every god has at least one or two, I unfortunately wasn’t blessed with two, I got only the common smoking ability.” “Smoking ability?” “Us gods can turn ourselves into wisps of smoke if we ever need to sneak around or disappear fast, it’s mostly used for when mortals get too close to seeing us.” I nodded, “but I’m a mortal so why are you letting me see you.” He thought for a moment and then looked at me with intense eyes, “something about you, you don’t feel invasive.” I laughed, “mortals are invasive?” “Most of the time yes, they like to think they’re the center of the universe.” I stopped smiling and nodded, did he know about how he affected me yesterday? Was I being that obvious? He must have seen the shift in my features, “you okay hannah?” Snapping out of my trance I looked up and smiled, I needed to stop getting so entranced by nothing. He put a warm hand on my shoulder and looked at me with care, “I’m sorry if everything has freaked you out.” I shrugged, “it’s a little odd but it’s enjoyable.” He smiled a warm smile and looked out the window, “so what shall we talk about next?” His voice dripped with curiosity making his accent stronger than what I could handle, a blush crept to my face and I shrugged, “whatever comes to mind I suppose.” He chuckled and turned to me, “tell me about why you were crying in my woods that day.” I stared for a second before pursing my lips. “That funny actually, I just had a lot on my mind that day.” His eyes became darker and he stared me down, “dont lie, there’s something else.” I exhaled,” just people being people I guess.” He nodded and grabbed my hand, gently putting in in his paw of a hand and grasping mine tightly, making sure to give a reassuring squeeze. “Well I’m glad you got someone out of your chest.” I looked up quickly, he knew. He knew what was going on and what I was referring to, that’s why I found the eagle feather, he had been watching me. At that exact moment I looked down to his neck and noticed the eagle feather necklace. A thin leather rope with an eagle feather adorning the bottom, a few blue beads around the chain itself. I nodded and smiled. Continuing to hold his hand as the evening turned into inky black. My following nights I spent conversing with him, he told me about the universe and what he’s seen, what his purpose was, and battles he’s fought. I told him about my life and how boring it actually was, he seemed to enjoy my stories. Although they were nothing compared to his battle stories. Mullen always seemed to want to hear more, when I had no more, I considered making something up but knew he probably would be able to tell when it wasn’t true. I settled to just say, “I have no more.” He seemed to understand and told me another story of his own. On the final night before school started back up, I finally piped up the courage to ask, “so tell me about the other gods, are they like you?” He looked at me with intense eyes and I saw his jaw tense and lock, I knew I must have struck a nerve. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be rude I just wanted to know about them.” He nodded and put a hand on my knee to reassure me, he never failed to put a reassuring hand on me when I needed it most. Even when I didn’t think I needed it, he always knew. “The others gods are what you’d expect a god to be, powerful, loud, and big. The issue is their arrogance, they abuse their power on the humans.” He sighed and huffed, “there used to be more protection gods like me, we used to be well respected and feared, then Qion a god of darkness from the east began killing us off, the other gods began to shun us as they did not want to sully their image for one of us. So what few were left fled, I’m the only one left. I’m too well known among the community to stay home. So I came here, I’m an outsider of the gods, even when I was respected.” I nodded, regretting asking him and I had probably brought up some unholy memories. He smiled again and looked at me. “Do not worry, my past is far now, you are safe.” I looked at him, “safe? I’m more worried about you, you seemed really broken up.” He tilted his head and chuckled, “dove, I am quite alright, but I am a protection god so I must do what I do best, which is protect.” “Why me? I’m not worth protection.” He dropped his smile and his gaze turned intense, he stood and I stood with him. “Did someone tell you that? Have people been filling your head with lies?” I looked at him in disbelief. He cupped my face with his powerful hands and looked in my eyes. “You’re wrong, don’t believe that.” He let go of my face, I already missed the warmth, he laughed a breathy laugh. “Protection gods had a funny habit of getting their souls attached to certain people or objects, mostly objects. My soul attached itself to you, I attached myself when I first saw you in the woods that day when you ran, I watched you through your days until we met again. I watched cruel people be near you.” I stared at him blankly, this was some yandere type shit here. He looked down at his boots and sighed, “I never meant to pull you into this, but don’t for a second think you’re not worth my protection.” With that he leaned towards me and cupped my face again, he pulled me into his lips. The kiss was something you’d expect out of a cheesy rom com you watch after you’re dumped by your ex, it was perfect, dramatic, and way too long. Parting was worse, cause I didn’t want it to end. We both stared at each other for a second before I started laughing, “I never once thought I would kiss a god.” He chuckled and pulled me into his chest. “Glad I could be of service.” His voice rumbled deep in his chest. With that I was put into my bed and left to sleep before school.

[youllneverknowmysecretidentity]

There’s a god in the mountains

I used to look at the world as something that revolves around me, people walked around me and disappeared from the worlds equation when I put them out of view, I forgot that 7 billion hearts are out there thinking the same as me. However, we are so small and insignificant. The woods hold ancient stories, sounds, and reasoning. I always loved the idea of woods but was never a keen outdoorsman. I stayed in my room pretending I was meant to be something bigger. The day I entered the woods was the day I realized I was minuscule and powerless. The day was hot, muggy, and sunny. Foliage was active and colored. I remember being lost from exposed nerves and emotions, I must have been like a signal beacon to every supernatural power in the region. I hated the radio, playing the same noise with no experimentation or variety, just the same sex drugs and heartbreak message over again. I felt sick as it reminded me of utter loneliness and how lost I was in mother nature’s cavernous being. I remember the feeling of reality being altered as I opened the car door and stared into the trail head. The woods itself seemed to expand when I tried to look further down the trail, ignoring the feeling I packed up and walked. No matter how relaxing the forest may seem to be or how ‘helpful’ it would be for me to get some fresh air as my mother and father put it. I couldn’t seem to make my mind silent, too many memories of my past Friday played in my head on what seemed to be the highest volume setting. Visions of my friends seemingly becoming more and more concerned, visions of a past lover and toxic words spewed to the masses, the feeling of utter loss. I was now alone, before, I was happy with my friends and family and then a past soul decided his own little world was more important and cost me a few friends and a few nights I could have been sleeping. The past week has been compiled of me barely talking at my practices and throwing myself into work. I honestly could not remember the last time I ate a proper meal or even bothered to function on anything other than caffeine and the occasional bummed smoke off of one of the few friends I had left. I still remember the concern laced on Lauren’s and Grady’s face as I shakily inhaled from the cigarette. Before I knew it, I was crying in the middle of the damn woods. I didn’t realize my wailing could be heard a mile away. This is where the world truly became bigger. First it was the noise, it usually is loud and constant in the forest but the forest silenced and became dead; strangely enough the silence was calming and shut down my mind for a beat. As I walked deeper i noticed the second sign, the air had a mix of metallic and floral smell, as if someone put honey suckle and jasmine on a pile of pennies. The third and final sign was the breathing, it sounded like a powerful gust of wind, but as it continued in beats and was felt on my back, I knew it was breath from a powerful set of lungs. I stopped mid walk, too paralyzed to turn around. Growing up I believed in ghosts, monsters, and anything that could be terrifying. I never thought I would ever encounter one however. The breathing soon became quieter and less heavy but still ever present and hot on my neck. At the moment I did not realize tears were still falling down my face and dripping on the ground. The breathing figure seemed to notice as I felt the breath fan down as if the head had turned to watch the ground. This movement gave me the courage to do a 180 and see my worst fear. What I saw changed my life forever. Behind me was a mixture of creatures, as tall as a grizzly bear but with the head of a lion, wings on an eagle, and black fur adorning its powerfully built body. I was shocked but the size and energy it gave off. It noticed me turn around and looked into my eyes, my soul changed in its holder, blue eyes with hints of forest green that held eternity behind them. My soul felt lifted with this creature, like we had both floated in an endless timeless eternity, but not lost; instead held and whole like I had found a missing piece in my puzzle. It tilted its head and watched me with almost innocent curiosity. The power it exuded was like none other, that moment I knew I was only a small variable in a big universe. I felt worthless compared to this creature. So I did what any sensible human does when threatened with harsh truth, I ran. I felt the earth tremble and heard a deafening roar, running was my only purpose as I outran probably every Olympic record in existence just to get to my car and home. Seeing the trailhead made me release a whimper of excitement. Unlocking my car and hopping in I sped down the old road to home before even checking for oncoming traffic. The drive home consisted of my wiping my never ending tears and nearly puking three times. But, the farther I got away from the creature, the more detached I felt from myself, as if I lost part of me. I blame the fear and adrenaline but boy was I in for a surprise later on. That night I was plagued with dreams of a dark and deep voice saying my name, a strong hand reaching and a flash of eagle feathers on a necklace. When I woke, I had felt more refreshed than having slept for 100 nights. The drive to school was filled with unclean paranoia and everytime I passed even the smallest patch of wood, I felt as if I was watched. Finally parking and getting out of my car, I was calmly slapped by reality. “Hannah!” I turned to see my beautiful friend Lauren and her boyfriend Grady walking along side the girl. I smiled my best smile and greeted her. “How was your weekend? Grady told me you went on a hike to clear your head, I hope you feel better last week was shit.” “I guess, the walk was okay I guess, I stopped having issues sleeping so maybe that’s a plus” Grady smiled and quipped back, “good cause you owe me a fuck ton of cigarettes.” Our group laughed and it was almost enough to drown the sound of tires squealing into the parking lot of a not so friendly car, Lauren looked back and scoffed “god I hope he never drove like that with you in the car” I shrugged and looked at the car, “we should get inside.” She nodded and we began our trek to class. I was lucky to have shared several periods with Grady that day and a lunch period with the both of them as well. During my TA I caught myself doodling the creature, too much emphasis on the eyes, too much power in those paws. I felt a dirty presence behind me and breath on my shoulder. “So, you done being a bitch about what I said?” I turned around to see C. C was an ex lover, my first true boyfriend, my first sexual encounter, and the reason I vowed to never wear rose colored glasses again. “I’m not being a bitch C, I’m just simply being human. You should try it sometime.” He scoffed and sat beside me, “look Hannah, I was simply giving you advice, you need it, look at you. Also, eventually you’re going to have to stop being so rude and actually act like we’re friends instead of bossing me around and giving me a cold shoulder.” I laughed a poisonous laugh and turned to him. “Funny, last time I checked, we’re not friends, you’re not my captain, and you act like a half wit child so I have every right to be the way I am!” I turned and packed my belongings quickly but before I could make it past the table he grabbed my arm and I looked down to him. Most people would describe him as a typical athletic teen boy, tall, scrawny, blond hair, blue eyes, and a fake arrogance clouding his teenage lust and insecurities. To make things worse he was ridiculously academically smart, which got to his head enormously. “Hannah, remember that night we broke up? I told you I still cared for you and valued your friendship, please don’t act like this. It’s making me look bad.” All the rage of the heavens filled me, I ripped my arm from his grip and got uncomfortably close, “good, it’s about damn time the world knew what a fuckin jack ass you are.” Speed walking out I managed to bump into Ava on the way through, unfortunately causing some things to spill from my bag including the sketches of the creature. She quickly picked up my things muttering quick apologies and looked at my drawings. “WOAH dude! These are so cool! That looks like that one creature I saw in a book!” I looked at her and opened my eyes wide,” from where?” “A book on like mystical beings and stuff, it’s pretty cool, I got it at home. That monster was honestly the coolest one.” “What kind of monster is it??” She thought for a minute and ran a hand through her bright pink hair, “it’s a he, and I think he was like a protector of something.” She offered me a smile and handed me my book, “well I was just curious, I saw him online and thought he was pretty so I sketched him.” “Oh cool dude, also are you okay you seem kinda frazzled, is it C again?” “I guess, I stood up to him which felt good, I’m trying to not let him own me” “good, you’re better than him anyway.” I smiled a forced smile thinking of yesterday and how small I felt to the creature and his presence. I nodded and said a quick goodbye before rushing to my fourth hoping for my day to end fast. The drive home was filled with silence as I watched the road in front of me, protecter of what? Was Ava saying that THAT creature was supposed to be a protection god, I remember reading an article about protection gods. According to mythology they were supposed to be specific to certain types of things but often would have cases of them getting attached to certain objects or groups that had celestial value or power. If the legends are true, why would he be here? Arriving to my room I dumped my bag out and found my sketch, I eyed it before grabbing my phone and calling Ava. “Hey dude what’s up?” “Where was that creature we were talking about from?” “Oh that guy lemme check, it says it’s from Europe it’s a English god to be exact, which is weird because England was a Christian area but whatever. Why?” “Oh just curious, I kinda wanted to do more drawings and research it more” “oh cool! It’s name is chosantóiran I think it means protector, it’s Irish descent but the legend was strongest in England.” “Huh, thank you so much Ava.” “No problem dude, let me know if I can help with anything else” I said a goodbye and hung up, I stared at my wall “chosantóiran.” I now have my name, now to find the beast. A WEEK LATER The school week had passed and fall break was among the masses, horns honked, kids cheered, and my classmates discussed the final plans to their senior trips. I looked down at my shoes and thought, about my senior trip plans. Hunting a legend, he was out there and I didn’t care if I was going alone. I knew I was gonna find something. Behind me Lauren talked and Grady replied, “Hannah, earth to Hannah.” I snapped out of my daze and looked back smiling apologetically. She smiled and patted my shoulder,” get some beauty rest and relaxation for the break, and call us to hang out, you need to heal.” She patted my shoulder again and walked off waving. I looked back at the ground and gasped, sat in a puddle of crystal clear rain water was a singular golden eagle feather. Picking it up I examined it, it was way too big to be a normal eagle feather. My target was watching me. The following days consisted of endless computer research and writing, but, just enough downstairs time to not make my parents suspicious. “You know Hannah, I think you’re doing quite well considering what’s been going on.” My dad said over Monday breakfast, I habitually got up early to prepare for a day of studies but was met with my father putting food in my face and giving me a hefty amount of black coffee. The gesture was kind, so I took it. “Yeah I guess, just keeping occupied with much better things.” I replied before taking a bite of egg smothered toast. “Work is always good.” He then stood up and placed his plate in the sink before patting my shoulder and leaving for work. I stared at the door before I ate the rest of my food and moved to my room. My desk was covered in papers and sticky notes, I looked at them closely. I can’t truly find answers until I go to the beast itself. Piling my papers together and putting them in a neat pile I got out some gear before hopping in the shower and washing up. Hopping out and changing I heard my mom walk up the short staircase to my room “whatcha doing?” I turned to her and smiled, “I’m thinking of going on another hike today at round lunchtime, is that okay with you?” She nodded and then crossed into the laundry room to fluff the latest load. I sat back at my desk and wrote plans and side plans. The clock beeped and it was time. I packed a small bag and bid my mom goodbye and promised to be careful. I smiled while getting in my car, strict parents never failed in their habits. Driving to the spot was easy enough, finding the creature would be the hard part. I must have walked the woods for three miles never once feeling or hearing a sign. Then an idea bloomed. “chosantóiran” I chanted. The air changed, I chanted two more times and then another for good measure. Still no more signs but at least the air seemed different. I walked further and then I heard it a crunch. It sounded far but then another followed just behind me. I turned and saw nothing, turning back I was met with eyes. The green blue eyes of him. I felt my soul lift again but before I could run or be caught in a dangerous trance I shook my head and stared back attempting to give off the power he had. He tilted his head curiously and almost playfully. I felt humiliated, before I could give into instinct and run, he shifted. He stepped closer to me, he snuffed and then put his powerful nose into my air and sniffed. Leaning back the creature sneezed and blinked. “Glad I smell like shit.” He blinked again before I saw his skin shift again, I gasped. The skin then stared to shift and shrink. The creatures body balled up and changed. Wings disappeared and paws turned into hands. Slowly standing up, I saw my death. His eyes were the same, but his body was not, he was averagely tall, not too tall but taller than me, he was muscularly built, he had a strong thick beard that seemed well trimmed, his hair was brown and shaggy yet slicked back, his lips were plush and pink like the visual representation of temptation, he stood with an air that said sureness but still was gentle and non intrusive, finally his smell was the same as before but stronger and with a hint of musk. He was a masterpiece, I felt weak in my knees, then he spoke. “Why are you coming back to me?” A deep British accent that seemed aged like whiskey in an oak barrel. I felt my throat close but my mouth water. He raised his eyebrows, “oh, sorry, I just..... was i don’t know.” He tilted his head, his eyes held understanding yet patience and warmth. My knees got weaker. “You’re an interesting human, your soul is so powerful.” I nodded “sure, coming from a literal god” he chuckled and looked at his feet, “to humans im a god, to the other gods im simply a beast. My name is actually Mullen. The other name was just part of the tale.” I nodded and smiled, “my name is Hannah, my name is just, my name.” He chuckled, “ that’s what I like about humans, they get to start without a story.” I nodded and sat on a log. Minutes of talking turned into hours and eventually I had to go home, his eyes held sadness but understanding. I was sad to leave him but I didn’t want to face the wrath of missing dinner so I headed home. My evening later was filled with random moments of smiling and thinking back to the conversations we held so strongly. The vivid memory of us climbing and tree together and his body being close to mine for only a few seconds. I’m in trouble now.

[youllneverknowmysecretidentity]

Hello hello, I soon will be posting a long series I’ve been working on since summer 2019. It was a way I could cope with a heart break I experienced, I realized early on that I forgot to add some character descriptions for my chapters but I am unfortunately too lazy to edit them at the moment so have fun with the character descriptions and imagination.