your-favorite-lonely-loser-blog - Tumblr blog

[your-favorite-lonely-loser-blog]

how is screaming “I wanna suck your dick” to a band member you just met any different from someone catcalling you on the street

[your-favorite-lonely-loser-blog]

We as the human race don’t deserve dogs.

[your-favorite-lonely-loser-blog]

My ukulele cover of “Landfill” by Daughter.

[your-favorite-lonely-loser-blog]

The Good Old Days

I’ve been reminiscing about how things used to be. I was scrolling through my camera roll and I found a bunch of photos and videos that just make me wanna time travel back to the beginning of the year and cry.

 Everything was so perfect back then. I had so much fun. The nonstop laughing, hanging out with ‘Violet’ and the other one every other day, and being with him. Sure things are pretty great now, I have some amazing new friends who I love to death. But It’s so bittersweet to think about. I reminisce about it and then jolt back to present time and remember all the pain it caused. I just miss the friendship I had with the both of them. ‘Violet’ reached out to me a few days ago and we have been awkwardly talking. I don’t want to let her in but I want to be best friends again, but I really don’t at the same time. The other one has been too. She talks to me and I kinda just ignore her because I’m scared of what could happen. My mom thinks it would be an awful idea to let them back into my life and I agree. I will NEVER let the other one back in. I’m scared shitless to think about what could happen if we were still friends. 

I’m not saying I don’t like my life now, I do, it’s just hard to think back to a time like that and not miss it. I love my new family, my new step-sisters and step-brother. I’m getting used to the constant changes that are always coming in and out of my life. It’s not something I want to get used to. I want things to be steady for a little while. I don’t want to have all these hurricanes around me all the time. Mom and Rocco decided to move again after we just moved a few months ago. I get it, the house was in isn’t big enough for 10 people. But we're moving to the other side of Connecticut, down to where Rocco works. I’ve been told we’re gonna buy a condo/apartment in our current town so I can stay at my school. But mom doesn't want that. She doesn’t think this school is good for me. It’s not, but I can’t imagine leaving. I like it here, sure the girls are catty and the boys are douchy, and I was bullied at the beginning of the year, but the friends I’ve made that actually appreciate me as a person are amazing. I love them and can’t leave them. 

I’m running a million miles a minute every second of the day except for when I pug myself into my music and just let it consume me. Whether it’s playing my guitar, cello, ukulele, or singing. Or just listening and reading in my cave of a bedroom, I’m completely in a different world. possibilities are endless with my music. I feel safe and just able to let myself be in the moment. I think I might start posting my covers on here. I’m feeling comfortable with my voice and what to share it. So after this post is my cover of “Landfill” by Daughter. 

Throw me in a landfill Don't think about the consequences Throw me in the dirt pit Don't think about the choices that you make Throw me in the water Don't think about the splash I will create Leave me at the altar Knowing all the things you just escapedPush me out to sea On a little boat that you made Out of the evergreen that you helped your father cut away Leave me on the tracks To wait until the morning train arrives Don't you dare look back Walk away Catch up with the sunrise'Cause this is torturous electricity Between both of us and this is Dangerous 'cause I want you so much But I hate your guts I hate youSo leave me in the cold Wait until the snow covers me up So I cannot move So I'm just embedded in the frost Then leave me in the rain Wait until my clothes cling to my frame Wipe away your tear stains Thought you said you didn't feel painWell this is torturous electricity Between both of us and this is Dangerous, 'cause I want you so much But I hate your guts. I want you so much But I hate your guts. Well this is torturous Electricity between both of us And this is dangerous 'cause I want you so much But I hate your guts I want you so much but I hate your guts

-You Favorite Lonely LoserXx

[your-favorite-lonely-loser-blog]

This is my ukulele cover of Icon for Hire’s “Get Well ii”. Enjoy

[your-favorite-lonely-loser-blog]

Daydreams and Floaters

I’ve always been a floater. I never had a group of people that I felt I belonged in. I was always too boyish for the girls and too girlish for the boys. But this new school has really helped me find “my people” the people I have found are all like me. We deal with the same issues, we’re all depressed and suicidal. But we all help each other get through it because we know if one of us died the rest of us wouldn’t be able to cope. We’re so close and we all accept each other for exactly who we are. Me, Katie, and Grace are boyish and get that about each other. We’re all nerds. Me, Katie, and Grack all love metal and nobody judges us for our taste in extream music. 

But one of us is losing a battle. I love her so fucking much, but she’s hurting so bad and I feel so useless and unable to help her. She is one of the best things to ever come into my life. Coping is hard for all of us, and I’m trying my best to help her out but I know how she’s feeling and no words help when you sink that low. 

Other than that it’s been rough lately. My two ex-best friends have become besties and rub that in my face any chance they get. The sad part is, I really miss both of them. The relationships I had with both of them were toxic and unhealthy. They gave me such mental issues with my body because of there body issues. They caused me so much pain that I can’t stand to look at them without wanting to scream and cry. It was a blind battle with those two. I was swinging punches in the dark trying to rebuild the train wreck we called friendship. 

I’ve been in a weird state recently. Just feeling so distant and separated from everything. Daydreaming more than usual. I can’t seem to keep my head in one place at a time. My head dreams of a world where everything is perfect. But reality pulls me back and I’m stuck in this toxic world again. School seems uneventful and useless. I mean whats the point? We sit here 7 hours a day learning lessons we’re never gonna use in the real world. Who cares about the French revolution?! How is that prominent in any part of our lives?

Anyways I’ve been drowning my sorrows in my music. I’ve gotten better at guitar. And singing my heart out on my ukulele. And every time I play my cello it tugs at my heartstrings. When I get bored I’ll record myself sometimes, So today I would like to share one of my favorite songs to sing. It also conveys an amazing message. It’s not great, I messed up a few times but I think it sounds a-okay. Its the same artist as last time, Icon for Hire, but I just love their stuff. I’ll upload my ukulele cover of the song right after this. So I hope you enjoy my version of “Get Well ii” by Icon for Hire.

[your-favorite-lonely-loser-blog]

Relax, Relapse

Relapse, take a breath and start again. It happens to everybody. Maybe its drugs or alcohol, or something as simple as failing a class again. In my case it's a bit more, how do I put it? It’s dark, depressing and sickening to think about. I make it sound a lot worse than it actually is. It can be hard to break away from something that's so addictive, we all know that. It’s sad to think about how addicting it actually is. It consumes your thoughts. Push it back but it’s always there, reminding you of the person you have become. Broken, fragile, and practically half-way dead. When people around you its like walking on glass, anything they say could be triggering. My thighs hurt, they sting when I shower. It hurts to sit sometimes. Only a few people will understand what that even means, let alone what its like. 

There are methods of coping but it only works for the lucky few, I got the short end of the stick and never fully learned how to cope with it. The years of therapy I was and am still being put through could never have prepared me for what to come and what is happening. I try hard to talk to people about it but letting people in is scary. I hate letting people in because you never know when they will break your heart and leave. I’ll draw on my arm when I get an urge or snap a rubber band. Believe me, if I could figure out a way to make all this stop, I would trade everything I own for it. Feeling so empty all the time is nothing to be proud of. People seem to think that people like me like to flaunt it, it’s the complete opposite. We try our hardest to hide it. There are few out there who do it for attention but there just there for the attention and giving the rest of us a bad reputation. We don’t want to die, we don’t die. We do it because we want to feel something other than sadness. The fake smiles we put on don't last long. When you're alone in your head, your body is consumed by the darkness. We do it because we feel we deserve it. But that's the sad part no one deserves that. No one deserves to feel the need to cut into their skin every night. 

It’s really not as bad as it seems. To me at least and hundreds of others, it's normal, just part of the everyday routine. But life gets blurred. Days turn into weeks, months, years. It gets boring. And stressful. Finding little nooks and crannies in your house to hide things in. Having to constantly wear pants, long sleeves, and bracelets get bothersome. I try to not be ashamed of it. Nobody should be ashamed of their flaws or scars. Wear them proud. But on the other hand, they're a sign to other people that there is something wrong with you. People like me would rather have that part of their lives hidden from society. 

The world out there is cruel and heartless. Nobody is excepted. Having to hide from everybody is just part of the way we grew up. It’s sad to think that we judge each other based on simple things. Scars don’t mean that you died, it means you survived. Sure, we get a little ripped at the edges, but in the end, we come out more beautiful than ever scars and all. One day I plan to cover them up with tattoos, meaningful quotes. But I try to embrace them. Hide them from the public eye but in my head, I’m proud that each of them represents a time that I fought the devil and won. I pushed my death back a little further each time and each time its a sign that it’s possible to make it through. I know this was a little sadder than usual but I’m okay, for now, I just needed to clear my head and put my thought on a page. 

One of my favorite band's Icon For Hire does a lot if self-harm awareness stuff. Here is their song “Under The Knife” 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sk6HMuLJ8bM 

This is the song I'm too scared to write But some of you may need it tonight All that you were, heart made of glass Fragile little thing that shattered too fast Tried to pick the pieces up, up, up And that's the way you first got cut, cut, cut Devil drew you in, you didn't let it show Didn't want the others to ever have to know That you were getting hooked on up, up, up And all you had to do was cut, cut, cut You carved a special place for your pain So it came back to hurt you every night You closed your eyes and wished it all away Until you disappeared under the knife You know the deal, no one gives a damn Just another needy kid, sob story in hand Keep your secrets covered up, up, up We don't need another cut, cut, cut But you couldn't hide, a heart made of glass You pulled yourself together with all the strength you had You were finally fed up, up, up Finally had to scream enough-nough-nough You carved a special place for your pain So it came back to hurt you every night You closed your eyes and wished it all away Until you disappeared under the knife Listen, I know it's simplified from the other side It's easy to gloss over all the messy reasons why And it's easy to forget where you've been I guess that's what the scars are for, huh? When we were fifteen, we wouldn't dare let that shit be seen But now it seems mutilation's gone mainstream I see you at my shows, scarred up from head to toe Like there's no point even trying not to let it show Cause we all know, emo kids like to hurt themselves Too many feelings, and not enough self control And I mean does this mess with any of the rest of ya? It's an epidemic and we're cool with it don't question it But it bothers me, our scars are currency by which we're measured Like let the record show who let it slip and who held it together Cutters and burners and honorable mentions Posers who still cut themselves up for the attention I don't care your intentions, I just want you to know My self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go At the end of the day, you know I still had to face That I can pick at the pain, but I can't cut it away And you know what else I can't do, is give you ten good reasons not to I've racked my brain for clever sayings of all the things you ought to do But you know I think if there was something I could say They'd have thrown it on a brochure and sent you on your way So I'll keep doing what I always do Drag my heart to the piano and make it sing for you I'll keep doing what I always do Drag my heart to the piano and let it sing for you... Drag my heart to the piano and let it sing for you

[your-favorite-lonely-loser-blog]

Heart Of Glass

So I know that my posting schedule is anything but regular or consistent. I figured, I only have one follower, whos gonna care? But then I realized that blogging even for one person helps me. I am able to just get everything out there and vent.  

So lately I’ve been in a very weird headspace. I have absolutely no clue whats going on. I just went back to school after a two-week break of doing nothing but reading and playing the ukulele and guitar. I’m trying really hard to learn how to play but fuck its hard. My head is just running really fast lately. I’ve got writer's block and can’t get a single song lyric to work. I have the idea in my head but can’t put it into words on a page. I feel useless.

 I’ve been feeling pretty depressed lately. I feel like it’s all coming back. The depression, The anxiety, The self-harm, and the suicide. I’ve never really told anyone, not even my parents, but few months ago-ish I nearly did it. I almost took the whole bottle of pills and ended it right then and there. I don’t want those shitty feelings to come back because I know if they come back again they’re gonna come back stronger. I’ll be less likely to get rid of them. 

I mean whats left but shitty life. I’ll never get anywhere in life, I should know that by now. It’s so lonely in my head. When my brain keeps shouting at me and telling me I’m worthless, ugly, and fat, it’s quiet. It’s scary. I dunno. I doubt I’m brave enough to actually do it. But that thought will always be there nagging at the back of my mind. But for now, I’ll subside it. Drown it in music, to make myself feel the slightest bit sane and alive. 

This song is a song that I listened to endlessly on my first spout of depression. Definitely makes me feel a little less empty inside. “Smother”- Daughter

I'm wasted, losing time I'm a foolish, fragile spine I want all that is not mine I want him but we're not right In the darkness I will meet my creators And they will all agree, that I'm a suffocator I should go now quietly For my bones have found a place to lie down and sleep Where all my layers can become reeds All my limbs can become trees All my children can become me What a mess I leave To follow To follow To follow To follow In the darkness I will meet my creators They will all agree, that I'm a suffocator Suffocator Suffocator Oh no I'm sorry if I smothered you I'm sorry if I smothered you I sometimes wish I'd stayed inside my mother Never to come out

-You-Favorite-Lonely-Loserxx

[your-favorite-lonely-loser-blog]

Something Bigger

I’ve been thinking about my future a lot lately. And I know what you’re thinking, “But Tessa your only 15. You don’t need to think about that yet.” I’m thinking that too. But I so badly want to be a musician. It’s my dream to be able to tour the world and sing every night. Play the ukulele or guitar (which I still need to learn). But life is just so boring. It’s bland and eventless. I want my life to be like a movie or some of the crazy fanfics I read. Ugh, there is just so much I want to do in my lifetime. For starters I want to marry Geoff Wigington of Waterparks, that’ll never happen has 27. But I want someone like him, a nerd who’s also punk rock. The perfect combination. Also Gerard Way. can we just talk about his beauty for a minute. Like holy fuck he’s gorgeous. But that's beside the point. 

I wanna be a singer. with a band full of my friends. But I’m too fucking shy half the time. Some of closest friends and I are starting one now but I can already tell its gonna be shit. And I can’t write any music. I used to be good at it. I couldn’t write a good song if it slapped me in the ass. I get it i’m young and it takes time to build a skill. But if I want to get anywhere I need to start young. I feel so emotional when I listen to music. I connect to it. I’ve always had a love of music. I’ve been playing the cello since I was 5. I’ve always been connected to it and it’s always been in my life. But female punk singers aren't popular. It's really hard for them to make it in a scene dominated by men. So even if I get a band together it’s gonna take a lot of work to get anywhere.

 I wanna make it in this world. I feel like I’m supposed to do something to make a difference. Like I’m not just supposed to sitting in boring old Connecticut for my whole life. But for now i’ll keep dreaming. 

Heres a song by Waterparks “Lucky People”  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZoKBdxhXpw

Light us up until we pop I wanna burn bright 'til we're not Let's keep each other safe from the world I'll be your optimistic black hole Full of love I can't control Let's keep each other safe from the world From the world Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas To the one I call my missus I'm leaving you love notes in the kitchen that say it all I know you said to mind my business But Cupid sent me on a mission That's got me sitting, wishing, waiting for your call Let's be lucky people, you and me My hourglass is in your hands You've got my time, you are my plans Let's keep each other safe from the world You've got me writing sappy songs I used to laugh at on my own Let's keep each other safe from the world 'Cause I know it's hard to let yourself be fine When we carry 'round our worried flurried minds But I'll let go if you do too Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas To the one I call my missus I'm leaving you love notes in the kitchen that say it all I know you said to mind my business But Cupid sent me on a mission That's got me sitting, wishing, waiting for your call Let's be lucky people, you and me My common sense is powerless And I'm convinced that you Have caught me, luck is just the half of it The better half of me that I couldn't quit 'Cause now I'm flying 'cross the country More than monthly for you You've got me more than clumsy But you're my yellow, lovely Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas To the one I call my missus I'm leaving you love notes in the kitchen that say it all I know you said to mind my business But Cupid sent me on a mission That's got me sitting, wishing, waiting for your call

-Your Favorite Lonely Loserxx

[your-favorite-lonely-loser-blog]

My Life Right Now

So today started out normal. I woke up. Refused to go to school, eventually convinced myself to get up, got ready, and went to school. The school day went the way it normally does. There was some flirting between me and him (all in my head though). But when my mom picked me up she had some news. Her boyfriend of less than half a year had proposed to her. They’re getting married in September. I’m freaking out. We lost my dad a year ago to a 3 year battle with brain cancer. God I miss him so much. My mom seemed to have moved on so fast. I still don’t understand it. I have had so much time to greave and i’m still not done. My oldest sister, Bella(21), and my brother Sam(19), hardly took the time to greave and refuse to talk about their feelings. It got to the point that Bella hardly talks to me and hates my mom most of the time. She’s off at collage in Scotland and Sam is only a hour away, we get along pretty well. But on the other hand my sister Sophie(18), is in Idaho. I’ll tell her story another time. 

My mom’s family doesn’t talk to her. My entire family is just a disaster. I mean don’t get me wrong I like her boyfriend/fiance. And I like his kids. He’s also a good person and makes my mom happy and thats all that matters. But it’s been a lot of change lately. We moved into a new house, New school, I now have 4 new siblings, a new father figure, an entire new extended family, and on top of that my depression and self-harm has come back ten times worse than last time. Sometimes it just feels like i’m being suffocated. Dramatic right? But it’s how I feel. So much has changed and I haven’t had time to process it all. My mom wants to move again, but to a whole different town. 30 minutes from where I live now. Since I go to a private school i’ll be able to continue there. But i’m not sure if I want to. There’s a shit ton of drama at that school. So we’re not sure if I should stay.

Going back to the engagement thing, it’s crazy how fast everything is happening. I always want my mom to be happy. But the fact of the matter is that it’s tearing our family apart. When she told me today, so many emotions went through me. I was happy, yet sad, and there was anger in there. I am angry that she is moving on from my dad. Of course i’m not going to and no one is trying to replace him but it still makes me sad. But I know I will get through this, with the help of my friends. 

This is a song that got me through it when my dad died. So I dedicate this to you Lucio. “Blessed”-Nerina Pallot

April is the cruellest month of all. All that hope Breathing itself into everything. Making you think something's coming. Well you lose yourself more than you want to win And your ship ain't coming in. But one day it will, one day it will. So until, remember… Ooh, blessed are those who love and lose it all. Ooh, blessed are those who give and get nothing back at all. Ooh, blessed are those who love and lose it all. Ooh, blessed are those who love and lose it all. And I don't know if there's a God above. If he's watching us. If he's keeping a score while we barter some more: Bargaining for a just a few seconds more. Suffer the weak, suffer the little ones. Tell me, what have they done? But I have to believe there's reason to be; Reason to keep holding on. Ooh, blessed are those who love and lose it all. Ooh, blessed are those who give and get nothing back at all. Ooh, blessed are those who love and lose it all. Ooh, blessed are those who love and lose it all. Ooh, blessed are those who love and lose it all. Ooh, blessed are those who give and get nothing back at all. Ooh, blessed are those who love and lose it all. Ooh, blessed are those who love and lose it all.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cpl0yPva_M 

-Your Favorite Lonely Loserxx

[your-favorite-lonely-loser-blog]

Boy’s Have Cooties

Ahhh the usual, cheesy, unromantic yet somewhat heartfelt, boy rant. Let’s start from the beginning. I saw him the first day of the year. Ninth Grade sucks btw. Anyways, I saw him, tall, strong build, brown shaggy hair, beautiful eyes and a perfect smile. We kept eyeing each other and every time it made my heart fly a million feet of the ground. I was told he was trouble, but I couldn’t stay away. We became friends and were talking. We would hang out in small groups and he was always a flirt. 

Then comes the school retreat at Hefer farm. We were living in third world country simulations. We are put in the same group all day, he gives me piggyback rides and treats me like a princess. Oh but when it got dark thats when the fun began. We raided and scared the other countries. It was one of the best nights of my life. But it didn’t end there. So our country was split up into two cabins. One had the teacher one didn’t that was my cabin. the cabin was set up with two sets of connected beds on each side. The beds were head to foot and not side to side so we all sat there and chilled. He sat right next me. At one point he laid down with his head on my legs. Some of the other people in our cabin had left and there was just me him and my other friend. It was nearly pitch black. He kept tickling me and we held hands as I played with his hair. We ended up falling asleep in the same bed, he put his arm around me and we cuddled. But this is when I fucked up. I had to pee in the middle of the night so I woke him up and we walked a half mile to the bathrooms. I held his hand. But when we went back he left my bunk and went back to his. He had taken care of me the whole night and then just left. The next morning I was all smiles until re refused to talk or look at me. When I texted him the next day about that night all he said was “I was just being friendly and i have a flirty personality”. Even though it killed me i lived with it.

We continued to be friends. Then I found out about this other girl that he had been hooking up with. I understood that we weren’t dating or anything but it hurt. But still we were friends. We started talking less and less until on day he stopped talking all together. OHH!! DidI mention I kissed him in a game of spin the bottle?!! Because that happened. Anyways. he ended up just using that girl as a hook up and they don’t talk anymore. We went on and off where he would talk to me then not. At the moment I don’t know where we are. He’s constantly flirting with me. But doesn’t return my snapchats. 

Honestly no one is going to read this but I want to give some advice to anyone who does. Boy or girls don’t matter. In the long run high school relationships are usually nothing, they don’t matter and thats just it. What does matter are your friends and family. Never put someone above them. I’ll keep updating on whats happening between us. But it’s more than likely nothing. 

Heres a song that explains how I feel right now, Enjoy ‘Best Friends’- Rex Orange County

I should have stayed at home 'Cause right now I see all these people that love me but I still feel alone Can't help but check my phone I could have made you mine But no it wasn't meant to be and see I wasn't made for you and you weren't made for me Though it seemed so easy... And that's because I wanna be your favourite boy I wanna be the one that makes your day The one you think about as you lie awake I can't wait to be your number one I'll be your biggest fan and you'll be mine But I still wanna break your heart and make you cry... But won't you wait You know it's too late I'm on my own shit now Let me tell you how it feels to be fucking great I feel great... You need to be yourself Love someone for loving you instead of someone really cool that makes your heart melt Who knows what you truly felt You're still my favourite girl You better trust me when I tell you there ain't no one else more beautiful in this damn world In this damn world... You're gonna wanna be my best friend baby You're gonna wanna be my best friend (I said that) You're gonna wanna be my best friend baby You're gonna wanna be my best friend You're gonna wanna be my best friend baby You're gonna wanna be my best friend (Best friend) You're gonna wanna be my best friend baby You're gonna wanna be my best friend... I say that I'm happy I say that I'm happy But I know, know, know, know Know, know, know, oh... I still wanna be your favourite boy I wanna be the one that makes your day The one you think about as you lie awake And I can't wait to be your number - your number one I'll be your biggest fan and you'll be mine But I still wanna break your heart and make you cry... I still wanna be your favourite boy I wanna be the one... I might just be the one...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqBuXQLR4Y8

-Your Favorite Lonely Loserxx

[your-favorite-lonely-loser-blog]

More Than Heart Break

Heart break isn’t always between a romantic relationship. In my case this one is between my best friend. It hurt like hell when its a friend, maybe more than a romantic heart break. You feel so broken. “This is all my fault, I messed everything up.” Thoughts like this have been swimming through my head for weeks. The worst part, is that I don’t even know why this happened, she didn’t give me a reason. She just left. I get that sinking feeling, where your heart just breaks and sinks to your feet and you can’t think about anything but that.

That night I lost her, lets call her Violet, my best friend of forever decided to ditch me to. We had the most toxic relationship, but I miss her so fucking much. Missing something that toxic is confusing and crazy. ‘Violet’ only answers me in one word sentences now. Trying to start a conversation is next to impossible. All you need is to talk to them, but they shut you out and all you can do is sit an wonder what you did wrong.

What me and ‘Violet’ had was a once and a life time friendship. She was the only one who could make me laugh uncontrollably for no reason at all. She understood me without having to say a word. Most people have that at one point or another, and if your lucky enough to have something like this, never lose it. Hold on to it with everything you have. 

But if what happens to me happens to you, something that helps me, is connecting with old friends. They keep you going. Don’t let someone that doesn’t appreciate you drag you down. Keep your head up and, as my mother always says, kill them with kindness. 

So I leave who ever finds this post with the lyrics to one of my favorite songs that keeps me up. Enjoy ‘Easier Days’ - Little Green Cars

I've been away for a long time You've been my legs for my whole damn life I hope that I'm not bothering you But I hope that you've been yourself today I heard that you got a new job in town It pays my bills but it's getting you down I know that it's been bothering you But I don't really give a damn today It gets better, better, better When I hear my mother crying in her sleep It gets better, better, better When I know that all the crying is for me I've been this way for a long time You think it's your fault, but I know that it's mine I know that everybody blames you I can't let you take the blame today It gets better, better, better When I hear my mother crying in her sleep It gets better, better, better When I know that all the crying is for me It gets better, better, better When I hear my mother crying in her sleep It gets better, better, better When I know that all the crying is for me It gets better, better, better When I hear my mother crying in her sleep It gets better, better, better When I know that all the crying is for me It gets better, better, better When I hear my mother crying in her sleep It gets better, better, better When I know that all the crying is for me I've been this way for a long time

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eo2bsVndWw0

-Your Favorite Lonely Loserxx