zllyfzh

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girl scout cookie inflation will be the death of me

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Please I need an Ipad

I just want to draw on procreate and have the silly little pencil

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I miss Zaanse Schans soooo bad

take me back to amsterdam so i can ride the trams and look at all the cute roundabouts

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was putting some information into a doc, and instead of highlighting it green i made the text itself green. i just teleported years back to when i would play moshi monsters and spend hours on the forums roleplaying with other people and omg the nostalgia hit was crazy.

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Frankenstein

I watched the Frankenstein play today and have a lot to say!

Covering Creature in horrific scars and grotesque stitches builds a mixed sense of fear, disgust, and pity in the audience. His clothing is also always disheveled in some manner, even after meeting De Lacey. We feel bad for this being who was subjected to living a terrible life solely for his looks, but we have to reflect; if we were in the shoes of any of the characters in this play, would we really have been able to overlook Creature’s appearance? If this was real life, would our brains be able to simply accept his jarring actions and demeanor? 

 As the play goes on, Creature's movements become more deliberate, though he is still not fully capable of making smoother movements.

Even when expressing the most intense emotions, Creature doesn’t have control over certain features (i.e., while begging for Frankenstein to give him his “wife,” his jaw hangs slack, no control). This really emphasizes his primal, not-truly-human self. As much as he wants to assimilate into human life and appear as “normal” as possible, he still has certain characteristics that would be very jarring to those he would interact with. 

The audience is forced to watch as Creature turns from an innocent, curious, and blissfully oblivious as to why people fear him into a mourning, broken, knowing creation. The play begins with Creature learning how to walk and ends with him able to recite literature and understand complex human emotion that other animals are supposedly incapable of doing. While staying with De Lacey, he purposely avoids meeting De Lacey’s son and daughter-in-law out of fear of becoming an outcast once more. As his brain develops, he understands why he sticks out so much, and why people fear and hate him. This adds to his desperation to unite with someone “like him.”

De Lacey’s daughter-in-law doesn’t play a huge role as a woman, though her and her husband's hate and aggression towards Creature do affect him. Creature’s almost-bride emphasizes just how isolated he feels. The audience feels torn, rooting for Creature so he can finally feel genuine happiness once more, though also concerned because, like Frankenstein says, they are unsure of how two of these creations may behave, or future concerns, like reproduction, or how they would fit in society. Something that’s interesting about the bride is how she doesn’t say anything. In neither Creature’s dream nor in real life did she speak, or make any noises more complex than a simple guttural groan. Part of this is certainly due in part to the fact that she simply wasn’t developed enough to speak like how Creature or any of the humans were. I think another reason that she specifically didn’t speak in the dream, even when Creature knew how to and therefore could replicate it in his dreams, is because he simply didn’t know how a woman would “be.” Creature had never properly interacted with a woman (excluding the prostitute, and he wasn’t close to being self-aware at that point, either), meaning he had no true idea of what being with one would be like. This could have been another reason that she didn’t speak, even in his dreams. Elizabeth shows a fresh new perspective (she doesn’t hate Creature off rip), so seeing Creature kill her is agonizing. Creature could have potentially found a way to make amends with Frankenstein had he taken the time to fully analyze the situation, but he was so set on getting his revenge, he lost his only opportunity. 

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Being a girl

I will preface this by saying that I am NOT transgender. I was born female, and while I don't LIKE being female, I still do think of myself as female.

I hate being a girl! If I had the option to choose between being a boy or a girl before I was born, I would've chosen to be a boy, solely because of reproduction. I don't think I will have a child. I am almost certain that I won't birth one myself. I'm less weary towards adoption, but honestly the children talk is something I need to save for another day. Pregnancy in general seems like shit, though. My mom said that her pregnancies were some of her happiest periods, but I feel like I would be absolutely miserable. Permanently altering your body, the actual act of child birth... oh lord! It just seems like so much. And if you DON'T want to get pregnant, birth control is the best option. You can choose from a piece of metal being pushed inside of you (I've heard so many IUD horror stories btw), or maybe get a shot that has to be inserted a few inches deep before it can actually be placed, OR you can take a pill every day! But if you miss one pill you're probably fucked! I use the patch, which is the best for me, but it's still so fucking annoying thinking about how if I was a guy, all I would need to do is lend a sympathetic ear.

I still get my period with the patch. It's a lot lighter than it used to be, but it still sucks. I still get cramps, my back still aches, and I'm still paranoid about bleeding. My legs feel hot and humid and uncomfortable but what can you do! Recently, all I've been able to think about while on my period is female dogs who haven't been sterilized. They wear diapers and you feel embarrassed and sad for them. I feel like a fucking dog when I'm on my period. I hate it and I wish every day that I could be sterelized like them. I don't care about having children enough to warrant wanting a uterus. I feel disgusting and pathetic and like I'm being scammed out of money. If I was a guy, I wouldn't have to spend thousands of dollars on pads and tampons and pain medicine and heating packs and more pain medicine and birth control and it just keeps going. I cry when I'm on my period. Not because of my hormones, but because I feel so fucking helpless when I'm curled up in my bed in agony, waiting for the next wave of pain to hit me, on the edge of throwing up, knowing that I'll have to deal with this shit for another few decades.

[zllyfzh]

Incredible article about box jellies

Pretty much an article talking about researchers seeing how box jellyfish learn and it's really cute. I actually got stung by a box jellyfish in Hawaii probably when I was less than 10 years old and it was one of the worst pains in my life. I physically could not move because of the pain that I was in. Had to go to the hospital and get an antivenom injection.

The sting was from a tentacle that wasn't attached to the jellyfish so it was really lame too. Like I remember that I was doing that weird swimming thing where you're laying down and your head is in the water but the water is too shallow to fully take you in so you're also half crawling. I was doing that and looking for seashells or something and I stop and stand up and see this little clear noodle looking thing on my right forearm, so then i pinch it and throw it off and boom. Like 10 minutes later I'm screaming for my life, all bunched up.

Anyways, no hate to box jellyfish that was just bad luck. Also this article makes up for that because it's actually adorable.

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Missing my wisdom teeth

I got my wisdom teeth taken out about a month and a half ago. The holes are still in the process of fully closing so when I run my mouth over the holes I can still feel the small gaps. I know they didn't provide me with anything but I find myself missing them. I wonder where they went? Why couldn't I keep a tiny piece? I'll never have my wisdom teeth again. :(

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Hi

My new bloggy area to mark down things that I feel baffled or perplexed by. Some things on the list include:

Existing

How we see

Why we exist (No one knows we are here!)

How space is infinite and how that works (how does it not end??? Does space just keep generating?? Like a minecraft world??)

A lot of existential stuff

But also fun stuff like

Crocheting

Drawing

Video! Games!

Rants about certain music/songs (There will certainly be a professional essay coming at some point about a few songs)

I made this for myself primarily. But I would love to pick up a few people to listen to me going on and on and on about the things I'm passionate about.

Enjoy :]