zombieloid

[zombieloid]

Alphabet NSFW | bot!Deadpool x top!mreader

Alphabet NSFW  | MDNI 

Deadpool x Top male reader 

Warnings: sex and things related to sex...

Word count: 1.789

Doubtful english and grammar

All content contained here is the intellectual property of @zombieloid on Tumblr. Do not copy or repost. ask before translating.

A=Aftercare (After those moments how are they)

At the beginning of your "relationship" when you weren't really dating or had anything more than a sexual relationship, he was playful, making jokes about performance or how grateful he was for having healing powers after what you did to his hole, but then after some time dating he surprisingly became more cuddly after sex, just wanting to be held and taken care of by you, not that he's like that every night, he's still the playful Wade he always was, but at times he gets a lot more sentimental.

B=Bodypart (Favorite body part from them and you)

After he was disfigured, he really stopped finding himself attractive, although he's never talked about it to anyone, but after he started dating you and saw how much you adore him, he became more relaxed about it. His favorite part of his own body is his ass and chest, and on you, it's your hands, arms, and beard if you have one.

C=Cum (Self-explanatory)

There's absolutely nothing against it, he's definitely not the type to run to the shower after a cumshot, he wouldn't mind spending the whole day with your cum dripping down his legs which isn't as uncommon as it seems, sometimes you have a quickie in the morning and he just doesn't have time to clean himself up haha... (it's obvious he does it on purpose, but you don't talk about it.)

D=Dirty Secret (Something no one else knows but them)

He gave you a new leather jacket making you stop wearing your old one, leaving it alone in the closet, one day you went to get it to donate or something and realized it wasn't there, Wade said he didn't know and left it at that, what you didn't know was that in fact Wade only gave you the new jacket so he could masturbate in your old one when he missed you without having to return it to your closet and risk you noticing the white stains or strange smell on it. 

E=Experience (What have they done before you? Do they even know what they're doing?)

He has all the experience in the world, I imagine him opening Grindr in every single place he set foot when he was single, he definitely knows what he's doing.

F=Favourite Position (Self-explanatory, again)

He likes them all but specifically having you behind him, him on all fours or with his ass up and face down while you fuck him senseless.

 G=Goofy (Serious during it or maybe be cracking jokes midway)

He's Goofy, he wouldn't be him if he wasn't, but when he's really fucked up, limp and struggling to get his brain to turn on he's just a mess of moans without any jokes, it's the best way to shut him up if he's being too annoying, but know that there's no way back when he realizes that just being incredibly annoying makes you fuck him.

H=Hair (They shave, let it grow, how much?) 

Due to the burns the hair no longer grows on his arms, legs, and face but he still has some sparse hair on his most intimate parts, which he rarely shaves, he would only do it if you asked him to.

I=Intimacy (How much intimate they are)

He is extremely intimate, he likes to kiss, hug, lick, he was already romantic like that before you had a serious relationship, now then? He is glued to you 24/7 (not literally considering his missions and your work or missions too if you are a hero or anti-hero, but you get the idea.)

 J=Jack off (They do it? how frequently?)

Since his sex drive has increased drastically since he became Deadpool he used to do it often but now that he's with you he feels much less, not the urge to have sex but the urge to do it alone, usually he can handle it till you come home but if he can't because you're working or something he'd probably send you a video of it or borrow some of your clothes to help him with it.

 K=Kink (What they are into in bed)

BDSM

Sweat/musk

Knife play

Shibari

Exhibitionism

Toys

Handcuffs/ropes

Masturbating together, I don't know what it's called but it makes him feel like a teenager in love with his "bro" from the school football team

Leather

Doing it in uniform

Roleplaying but only the most cliché ones like police officer, nurse or maid (yes, he has the fantasies)

Lingerie

"Dressing up as a woman" (I don't know what it's called, again maybe the way I wrote it seems offensive but rest assured it's not, I know there are no women's or men's clothes but I don't know how to describe it better, sorry)

L=Location (where they like to do it, where they wouldn't do it)

Every place is a place and any time is a time if you're really into it, but your favorites are: kitchen, couch, rooftop and any place at x-mansion, he loves doing this to Logan's stuff just to see him wrinkling his nose at the smell of the pheromones you leave behind. You really don't care about it, you even join in the fun by pretending not to understand when he comes in yelling asking who fucked in his dorm.

M=Motivation (What turns them on, makes them continue)

You. Simply you. Of course, tight clothes and your swollen muscles after the gym help, but none of that is necessary. You are exactly his type. You makes his blood flow to the south the moment he thinks you want it.

N=NO (Things they wouldn't do no matter what)

He wouldn't do anything you didn't want him to, that's a big no for somno and he would never do anything to hurt you even if you asked him to. He likes it when you do it to him because it doesn't really hurt him, after all, he is immortal and even if you were immortal, he wouldn't have the courage to do it.

O=Oral (Receiving, giving, skills)

He likes to give and receive but if he's going to receive he'd rather you eat him. He's really good at it, like, really good. He really knows what he's doing and knows how to push you over the edge in seconds, he loves it, watching your head throw back and guttural moans unconsciously coming out of your mouth, it could make him cum in his pants, in fact, it often does.t could make him cum in his pants, in fact, it often does.

P=Pace (How fast they do it)

He likes it fast, rough and raw, wants you to fuck him senseless until his brain turns to mushy jelly and he can't even move his legs.

Q=Quickie (Do they do it? Enjoy it?)

If you're into it and he's into it it doesn't matter what time or place you're doing it. He has absolutely nothing against it, he even enjoys the thrill of it.

 R=Risk (Like taking risks? Are you afraid of new things?)

As I said before, he really likes excitement and is always willing to take some risk, especially if it's to be with you. He likes new things and is willing to try everything with you, but he also cares and would never do something you don't want or somewhere that if you were caught you could get REALLY fucked, like at work, for example.

S=Stamina (How long can they last? How many rounds?)

He doesn't last that long the first few times, but he can last a few rounds until he's a limp, crying mess. Of course, it also depends on how fast/hard you do it and how tired he is, but in general, he cums quickly but cums a lot of times.

 T=Toys (Do they have toys? Uses?)

He has and has many, all kinds of things and Kink involving toys, know that he was there, he keeps them, it's not the kind of thing to throw away even if he doesn't use them as much as he used to, he must have 2 or 3 that he really uses often, except for the ropes or handcuffs he uses with you if you're also into that.

U=Unfair (Like teasing? being teased?)

He is the teasing himself, always walking around in short or tight clothes, bending down to pick things up, moaning unnecessarily while trying some food that you cooked/bought for him or rubbing himself against you when you cook together in the cramped kitchen.

V=Volume (How loud are they?)

He screams, moans, whines, begs, what he does most is scream your name, this is good if you don't like to introduce yourself very much, you can be sure that all the neighbors already know your name.

 W=Wildcard (just a random fact or headcanon)

He is REALLY in love with you, think of a man who kisses wherever you step, that's him.  After some time together, he thought about getting a tattoo with your name or initials. He even tried, but discovered that in less than 24 hours he had already regenerated and the tattoo was gone. He was very disappointed since he couldn't even show you the tattoo before it faded, but it still gave him an idea. He always surprises you on your birthday. This year, you spent the day working. You imagined that due to your busy schedule, he would have left it aside. Well, when you got home, you noticed the unusual silence. Usually, he would be lying on the couch watching TV or waiting for you to have dinner, but this time... nothing, emptiness and silence. You imagined that maybe he was tired and had gone to bed. So you snuck around the house, a little suspicious, looking for him until you reached the bedroom. You went in and came across an extremely pleasant surprise: Wade, tied up in ribbons of your favorite color, with a gag in his mouth, a bow on his back, and a tattoo on his bun that said "free use" and an arrow pointing to his ass.

 X=X-Ray (What's down there?)

It's thicker than it is big, has some veins but not many, some burns like the rest of his body. cut.

Yearning (How high is their sex drive)

Extremely high, even before his "transformation" he had a high sex drive, and then what? ha, he's always up for it.

Z=Zzz (How fast do they go to sleep afterward?)

Very fast, does he usually fall asleep fast after sex then? 2 minutes and this man is passed out in your arms.