zronin87

[zronin87]

How to Care for an Introvert

How to Care for an Introvert

1. Respect their need for privacy and to spend time alone.

2. Be careful never to embarrass them in public.

3. When they are in a new situation, allow them to stand back, and watch what’s going on.

4. Allow them time to process what you’re asking or saying. Don’t demand an answer right away.

5. Be patient if they hesitate to find the right words – and never interrupt while they are speaking.

6. If you are going to change or cancel plans, give them plenty of prior notice.

7. Allow them to practice and perfect skills alone.

8. Correct or challenge them privately – never in front of an audience.

9. Don’t force them to hang out with a crowd of people, or expect them to amass a lot of friends. A few good friends is more comfortable for them.

10. Don’t try to turn them into an extrovert. Respect them for being exactly who they are.

[zronin87]

Me

a mess

[zronin87]

[zronin87]

You said, you said

"Turn the lights down, I wanna be alone"

I ran your head away

I couldn't stand how it pleaded

I needed to take

Take a break, take me down, take me down there

I wanna stare at the tears, how they water your years

Take a break, take me down, take me down there

I wanna stare at your tears, how they

I, I, I lied, now I'm lying awake

I, I, I cried 'til my body ache

I, I, I lied, now I'm lying awake

I, I, I cried 'til my body ache

You sweat, and you bled

I couldn't look cause your body, your body would shake

And you feared a lonely death

Like a lake leaves you alone in her depths

Take a break, take me down, take me down there

I wanna stare at the tears, how they water your years

Take a break, take me down, take me down there

I wanna stare at your tears, how they

I, I, I lied, now I'm lying awake

I, I, I cried 'til my body ache

I, I, I lied, now I'm lying awake

I, I, I cried 'til my body ache

I wanna know what's your

I wanna know what's your quietest feeling

I saw you break out, I saw you break out

Saw you unreeling

I lied, now I'm lying awake

I cried until my body ache

I lie, now I'm lying awake

Now I'm lying awake, now I'm lying awake

I, I, I lied, now I'm lying awake

I, I, I cried 'til my body ache

I, I, I lied, now I'm lying awake

I, I, I cried 'til my body ache

Now I'm lying awake, now I'm lying awake

Until my body ache, until my body ache

I, I, I cried 'til my body.

Bodyache - Purity Ring

[zronin87]

The most difficult part of BPD is relating to people without going to the absolute extreme. I either like or love you so much that I obsess, or you say or do something so tiny but it affects me to the point I hate you and cut you from my life completely.

Then the next day I come back like, I’M SORRY I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT MY OTHER PERSONALITY WOULD DO PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

Let’s not confuse BPD with actual multiple personalities though. We don’t ACTUALLY have a second personality. It only seems like we do because we can go from OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MARRY ME all the way down to YOU’RE THE ABSOLUTE WORST I HATE YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME I’LL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP in the literal blink of an eye, drop of a hat, pinch of a butt cheek, whatever you want to call it.

We’re not dangerous. We just have super intense emotions and feel on a deeper level than “normal” people.

Think of it this way. You ever watch The Vampire Diaries? If not, here’s a small breakdown. Becoming a vampire means your emotions and feelings are intensified. Vampires feel everything harder and more irrationally than humans, such as love, hate, grief, excitement, etc. When you love, you love hard. When you grieve, you shatter. When you are angry, you explode. The real life version of that is Borderline Personality Disorder.

So basically, in a nutshell, we’re all vampires. Now if only we could compel somebody to love us regardless of our roller coaster brains. 😂

We do have days though where all those up and down emotions are so overwhelming that we sort of shut them out. Turn off the humanity switch, so to speak. (Another little Vampire Diaries reference.)

If you want to compare a person with BPD to something, compare them to a heart monitor. With each heartbeat, the machine “jumps”. Each jump is a high, we’re happy and loving and love everyone we know, and like that, we go right back to the bottom, hating our lives, our friends, ourselves. Occasionally, we flatline, or go numb (humanity switch), then the heartbeat kicks up again.

If I could pinpoint the moment in my life where I developed BPD, I would go back to the moment right before it, and do something different. I would not wish this dramatic existence on my worst enemy. Or I might. Depending on what they did and how much I currently hate them. Who even is my worst enemy right now? Probably my own damn self. 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

[zronin87]

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too. 

[zronin87]

Can't sleep.. my mind is screaming at me. Memories are flooding my mind. I'm crying but I need to go to work in 3 hours.

[zronin87]

It's like a dark paradise. I dont want to open my eyes. I just want to die tonight.

Im breathing but I feel like I'm suffocating.

[zronin87]

Then some days I wonder why I'm alive

[zronin87]

It feels like my insides are tearing apart. There's no you. I am at work but hiding in the bathroom trying to hide and crying without making a sound I just want to scream. You were my fp. My glue and my everything. My point.

[zronin87]

These pictures remind me of every life I ruined along the way. They are the happy times, the sad, the forgotten times... why am I in a loop. When do i get to feel like they felt until i ruined it...

[zronin87]

Then I came crashing down. Feeling nothing but feeling a single tear leaking out of my eye. Rolling down my face then. What's the point

[zronin87]

[zronin87]

All my friends tell me I should move on

I'm lying in the ocean, singing your song

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahh

That's how you sang it

Loving you forever, can't be wrong

Even though you're not here, won't move on

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahh

That's how we played it

And there's no remedy

For memory

Your face is like a melody,

It won't leave my head

Your soul is haunting me

And telling me

That everything is fine

But I wish I was dead

Every time I close my eyes

It's like a dark paradise

No one compares to you

I'm scared that you

Won't be waiting on the other side

Every time I close my eyes

It's like a dark paradise

No one compares to you

I'm scared that you

Won't be waiting on the other side

All my friends ask me why I stay strong

Tell 'em when you find true love it lives on

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahh

That's why I stay here

And there's no remedy

For memory

Your face is like a melody,

It won't leave my head

Your soul is haunting me

And telling me

That everything is fine

But I wish I was dead

Every time I close my eyes

It's like a dark paradise

No one compares to you

I'm scared that you

Won't be waiting on the other side

Every time I close my eyes

It's like a dark paradise

No one compares to you

But there's no you,

Except in my dreams tonight,

Oh-oh-oh-oh-hah-hah-hah-hah

I don't wanna wake up from this tonight

Oh-oh-oh-oh-hah-hah-hah-hah

I don't wanna wake up from this tonight

There's no relief,

I see you in my sleep

And everybody's rushing me,

But I can feel you touching me

There's no release,

I feel you in my dreams

Telling me I'm fine

Every time I close my eyes

It's like a dark paradise

No one compares to you

I'm scared that you

Won't be waiting on the other side

Every time I close my eyes

It's like a dark paradise

No one compares to you

But there's no you,

Except in my dreams tonight,

Oh-oh-oh-oh-hah-hah-hah-hah

I don't wanna wake up from this tonight

Oh-oh-oh-oh-hah-hah-hah-hah

I don't wanna wake up from this tonight

[zronin87]

[zronin87]

I am lonely I need some help

[zronin87]

I need to go to sleep. But I dont want to close my eyes. I dont want to face tomorrow.