indigoscorner

[indigoscorner]

What is asexuality, and why do ya'll have such a hard time with it?

(I am fully aware that tumblr knows what ace is but this is for something else. I just need a place to hold this till then)

Asexuality is a label people use when they have little to no sexual attraction. Some ace people have sex, there are many reasons why. Some people want sex to have the closeness to their partner(s), others like the feeling of sex and just aren’t sexually attracted to anyone.

Other asexuals don’t have sex, don't want sex, don't need sex.

Being who I am, a volunteer at my local pride center, I encounter a lot of people in real life who don't know what asexuality is. To say they are confused is an understatement.

Once someone asked if I was a top or bottom and when I said I don’t have sex, they responded, "so are you on prep?"

(which if you’re having sex yes pls be on prep.)

But this is a very common reaction I get. I get confusion. I get absurd comments. And I get ostracized by my own community.

It's so fucking frustrating to not want sex, to have the experience of being queer, of finding community after you’ve been shunned, to only be shunned by them too sometimes.

Asexuality is a label that people use when they have little to no sexual feelings towards anyone. And sometimes it sucks ass.

[indigoscorner]

When Elphaba tosses her cape, in her most grandiose moment, the crest of her crescendo, and it billows out backwards ominously and yet somehow in the same manner that Glinda has been frivolously tossing her hair this whole time, the way she showed her. The cape that Glinda gave her. That's lesbianism.

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I've been thinking about the song "The wizard and I" from Wicked 2024. Specifically the part where Elfaba is singing about the wizard degreenifying her and we see her skin go from green to black.

I can't stop thinking about how healing that could be for people to see her green skin go to her black skin.

I know it was healing for me to see a queer woman be "degreenifed" into who Cynthia is, a black queer woman. I remember a time when I wanted nothing more than to not be queer and trans.

Seeing Her show up was so healing because know i'm in a space where I cant imagine not being queer and trans.

I can’t imagine how much more healing it is for black people to see that. To see yourself litteraly show up must've healed so many peoples inner child.

[indigoscorner]

the wicked movie teaches important moral lessons like "be bisexual in college" and "don't trust politicians" and "if you push someone who's in a wheelchair without their permission, someone might throw a bench at your head with their mind"

[indigoscorner]

The "Oppression Olympics"

When I was still living with some republicans who knew I was queer, I often found myself in a lot of uncomfortable conversations.

But one that sticks out to me every time came from each conservative family member, "I (a white cis straight person) am the most oppressed person because my white cis straightness is not celebrated."

Of course thats not the word for word conversation that was said, but it was the point they where making.

In case you've been living under a rock or are reading this in the future, (which is entirely likely) the 2024 American election has been over for almost two weeks. And a lot of white cis straight women, a lot of white queer people, and a lot of white trans people have said the same thing:

"I am more oppressed than you."

This cannot continue.

If you want our world to make real change, to progress forward; it cannot matter who is more oppressed. (It's always going to be black queer and trans people but besides the point) White people especially have to pout their ego aside and join the community if we want real change to happen.

If you want people to think you’re "one of the good ones" be active in your community. You shouldn’t need a fucking blue bracelet to signal to other people in your community that you’re safe. They should know who you are. They should know your name. They should look at who you are as a person and think, "oh finally someone I'm safe with."

The only way for others to know you’re safe is to be a safe person. Join your local pride center, join your local poc nonprofits, find something in your community to Be Apart Of. And if you cant find something in person you can always join online! (One of the few nice things to come out of covid is that everyone has a way for people to join while not being physically present.)

At the end of the day, people will not be perfect. There will be people in those groups that have different opinions than you, that don’t like you, that you but heads with, but you Have to work with them if we want change to happen. You have to fucking get over yourself and work together. It can’t matter.

And if it dose matter to you so much, hold your tongue. Journal it out, scream into a void, throw red paint at a canvas or some shit. Get it out, and move on.

The only way we will grow as a community is if we move on as one.

[indigoscorner]

Why it's important to be.

I have held the philosophy that, "it's important to be visibly queer," for about a year or so now.

But I remember a time when I did not.

I was 21, living with my very republican evangelical bio parents, had just found out that i was queer and trans, and was very scared.

My bio mother and I had drove up to Tennessee to tour some colleges. One of these colleges was this ultra christain college, they had an all white staff, everyone had pin straight blonde hair, and everyone was very straight.

And I show up to this ultra bible humping college with my shaved sides, wearing black pants, a bright green shirt, and a pair of docs. And I knew I didn't belong but I didn't know that I looked gay. (lol)

So we're on this tour and we pass by one of the windows. I look over and, probably for the first time, I see the group of people I am with and how gay I looked. I felt so scared being around all these very straight people, who where spouting off bible verses against homosexuality and how it's our god given duty as women to get married to men and have babies. I'm just terrified. I couldn’t breathe and I wanted off that tour as soon as possible. I didn't want to go back to the hotel and I didnt want to go home. Everything was so dark.

Now. I'm 24. And things are so different.

It's important to me to be visibly queer because now I live in a different tourist town where kids from all over the country come to visit this college nearby. And they might be in the same situation I was in when I was 21, alone, gay and scared. And they might see me, a 24 year old queer trans dude. And they might have hope for tomorrow.

Hope that they'll make it to 24 too.

Hope that they will be okay.

Because you will be okay, you'll make it to 24, to 34, to 74, to 94. You'll be the old queer at your local pride center telling stories about how you made it through. You'll be there tomorrow and forever. You will always be.

[indigoscorner]

The Gender-fluid flag and it's history!

The gender-fluid flag was created in 2012 by JJ Poole! I cant find where he made it, so it might be safe to say that this flag was one of the few that was Not created on tumblr.

I love the meaning of the colors of the flag!

Pink: Femininity

White: All genders

Purple: Both masculinity and femininity

Black: Those who do not associate with any gender

Blue: Masculinity

A lot of people identify with gender-fluidity under the trans umbrella. Some do not as they feel transness is very associated with physically transitioning. Personally, I think it's a little trans-medicalist and very colonialist to separate them.

I as a binary trans person who just started his medical transition 5 months ago; I am still trans if i don’t transition. I was having this conversation with one of my dads about this the other day actually. For me transness is mental. So if you say you’re trans, you’re trans.

Trans people (the entire spectrum not just binary) have existed for as long as humanity has existed. We have not had the advanced medication to transition to the point of passing until these past few decades. Are the people who weren’t able to medically transition any less than those who (temporarily) can now?

No!

With this to say, if you identify as gender-fluid but not trans, thats totally fine! I am not here to police identities, I'm here to spread information and history. Everyone identifies to words different and that’s what makes our community so beautiful! Identify as what you say you are!

You are always valid, you will always be valid, you will always be.

[indigoscorner]

imagine selling shirts about the first time you stayed over at your crush's house

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The Pan flag its meaning and history!

The pan flag was created in 2010 by a tumblr user, Jasper V! The term pan was created to differ it’s self from bisexualtiy.

As always each color has it's own meaning!

magenta - Attraction to women

yellow - Attraction to nonbinary people, bigender people, agender people, and others

cyan - attratcion to men

A lot of people have defined pansexuality as being attracted to all genders, not having a preference for gender, not caring about who their dating, "I like the wine and not the lable", and many more descriptions. My best interpretation would be that it's more about the person their dating and not the gender of the person their dating.

[indigoscorner]

What dose it mean to "fully transition"?

I think there's a lot of expectation on trans people (especialy black trans women) to "fully transition".

But what dose that even mean? To "fully transition" can mean so many things to so many different people and it's so interesting to me that there is an added expectation for trans people to perform gender to a higher extent than cis people.

Cisgender women get to have facial hair, some don't shave it off and some do. But if a trans woman decided to not shave her face, it would be out of the question for her.

I think the people who expect trans people to "fully transition" are people who think they have no trans people in their lives. The only trans people they know are celebrities like Laverne Cox or Elliot Page, trans people who they have always seen as a woman or saw an incredibly fast transition. Trans celebrities like this can set up unrealistic expectations on everyday trans people who don't have the money to get top surgery, ffs, hormones and new wardrobe immediately after coming out as trans. I personally have been physically/socially transitioning for years now and it is so expensive.

Just clothes alone is a lot! Sometimes it feels like I find a new thing thats dysphoric and then i get disappointed to think about how long is it going to take me this time to find something I like, and can afford.

Because of these unrealistic expectations, everyday trans people often get the brunt of transphobia. To expect someone to "fully transition" for you to respect their identity, is rude at best and transphobic at worst.

To "fully transition" you have to follow what’s best for you. You may never "fully transition", and that's completely fine! Every trans person is on their own journey and every journey is valid. It's your journey, no one else's. Follow the Euphoria my friends.

(also this is important to mention, but this post dose not point out the intersectionality of black transness and the user is a super cracker and dose not feel qualified to discuss black transness. I do however think it is important to mention that to "fully transition" for black trans people, is a LOT harder. Mostly bc gender is based in white supremacy and black people will never live up to the standers of whiteness bc, ya know, they're black. But for black trans women it is always going to be harder for them to "fully transition" because of white supremacy and it deserves to be mentioned at the least.)

[indigoscorner]

Ah yes, the 3 genders. Male, female, and “what the fuck are you, a cop?”

[indigoscorner]

The nonbinary flag, its meaning and history!

This is the nonbinary flag! Nonbinary means that someone feels like they are neither male or female. For some nonbinary people they feel like they are somewhere in between, others they feel like they are closer to masculinity or femininity. All are correct.

Some people use just they/them pronouns for themselves as a nonbinary person, others use more than just they/them or not they/them at all. Any pronoun that a person says is their pronoun is their pronoun and dose not make them less or more nonbinary.

If someone says they identify as nonbinary, then they are nonbinary. There is no incorrect way to "look" nonbinary, and there is no wrong way to be nonbinary.

Some nonbinary people identify with being transgender as well, some do not. Both are valid and should be respected.

The nonbinary flag was created in 2014 by Key Rowan! As always each color of the flag has its own meaning.

Yellow: Representing people outside the cisgender binary

White: Representing people with multiple genders

Purple: Representing people who identify with a blend of masc and fem genders

Black: Representing people who feel they do not have a gender (also known as agender, the a meaning without)

Some people think or say that nonbinary is a stepping stone to "fully transitioning" (I will make a separate post of what the fuck that bs is another day) into a more binary trans person. Which, as someone who did identify as nonbinary and is now a trans masc dude, that is simply not true. Even when I was identifying as nonbinary, it was so real for me. It was so much of me and was everything i was in that moment. For other people that is how they will always identify and for others it's not. Both are incredibly valid.

To say that nonbinary people are just using nonbinary as a stepping stone to transitioning into a more binary form of transness is so invalidating both to the nonbinary person who is using it as a step stone and to the one who is not. And even if nonbinary people as a whole where "jUsT uSiNg iT tO TrAnsITtiON fUlLy." What the fuck is wrong with that? How fucking hard is it to accept people the way they are right here, right now. Are you that much of a fucking asshat to invalidate someones experience? (Probably)

Nonbinary people have been around for a long time and will be here till humanity goes extinct.

[indigoscorner]

The Ace and Aro Flag, it's meaning and history!

I've decided to do both flags together because I wanted to make sure both got visibility. I've noticed that with less popular flags they tend to get lost and I didn’t want that happening with either flag.

These are the Aromatic (aro, top) flag and the Asexual (ace, bottom) flag. The Aro flag was created in 2014 by Camron Whimsy on Tumblr. The meaning of each colors are:

Green and Light green: "the aro-spectrum (and aromanticism itself represented by green because green belongs to us now hell yeah). this covers every identity under the aro umbrella - demi, grey, lith/akoi, wtf/quoiro, cupio etc. EVERYTHING. even ones that don’t have names yet."

White: "basically the ‘platonic’ stripe - friendship/platonic and aesthetic attraction/queerplatonic relationships/family, the importance and validity of all non-romantic relationships and feelings and non-romantic forms of love etc. etc. etc. etc."

Black and grey: "the sexuality spectrum - acknowledging aro-aces, aromantic allosexuals, and everything in between because we are a diverse lot"

I think it's really cool that the Aro flag hold so much significance and I honestly didn’t know that the white stood for queer platonic friendship and so much more. It makes me appreciate my queer platonic relationships with my aro friends more.

The Ace flag was created in 2010 (making next year, 2025, our 15th year with it!) by by a member of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN). The colors represent:

Black: Asexuality

Grey: greysexuality and demisexuality

White: Allosexuality

Purple: The community as a whole

Asexuality has been around for forever and it's earliest recordings of asexuality was in 1869 by Karl-Maria Kertbeny, where he describes homosexuality, heterosexuality, and monosexuals.

Jaden Animations has one of the best videos I've seen explaining what both are and I really love it, i'll put the link here!

[indigoscorner]

The Intersex flag, its meaning and history!

This is the Intersex flag! It was created in 2013 by Morgan Carpenter of Intersex Human Rights Australia.

Both yellow and purple where chosen as colors because they where free from any stereotypical gendered symbolism. The circle represents and, "unbroken and unornamented, symbolizing wholeness and completeness, and our potentialities."

For those who do not know what Intersex is when people are born with multiple sex characteristics. Many have ambiguous genitalia, chromosomes and gonads. To put simply they are people who do not fit the stereotypical gender binary of male and female.

Many, many intersex babies will be born and will have had a procedure done to correct their genitalia to fit a binary male or female. This causes problems for multiple reasons.

One, being as a baby cannot decide for itself weather or not it wants a surgery to remove or "correct" it's privates.

Two, as a parent decides for a child to be a boy or a girl the expectations that that child faces and may feel as if they are not those expectations is incredibly traumatic. Not to mention that once these children go through puberty the "incorrect" puberty will show which also might be traumatic for those children.

Three, these procedures are still legal. And they happen all the time.

Some Intersex people feel as they are not trans and will not use the trans flag as their own flag along with the intersex flag, other Intersex people may feel as they are trans and will use it along with the intersex flag. Either way it is important to respect peoples identities and how they want to use flags and pronouns!

Edit: This user changed "multiple genitalia" to "ambiguous genitalia" after being corrected on the language he used.

[indigoscorner]

The Queer flag, its meaning and history!

One of the first flags created specifically as the "queer flag" was created by Pastelmemer on or before August 17, 2015. And that lis pretty much all I can find. Even the HRC doesn’t credit who made this flag, bc literally it took me days to fucking find any credit at all.

The shades of pink and blue: Same gender attraction

The orange and green: Non binary and GNC people

Black and white: Asexual, aromantic, and the agender spectrum

This flag is one of my favorites (yes it's one of mine that I identify with) and so so so so little is know about it. A part of that is due to the word, queer. Literally, if you look up the queer flag on google the first things that come up are articles of the rainbow flag. For most ppl they use the word queer along with the most identifiable rainbow flag. Although there is nothing wrong with that, I do wish there was more knowledge about this flag.

After litteral days of trying to find the source, I did in fact find the source. Here is the credit for this flag, it's made by a genderqueer queer furry artist on Deviant art. They are no longer active due to mental health reasons.

https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Queer-2-553625141

[indigoscorner]

AROACE

NONBINARY

PAN

not sure if you do requests but if so these are some

I am for sure working on it! Thank youuuuu <3

[indigoscorner]

The Queer flag, its meaning and history!

One of the first flags created specifically as the "queer flag" was created by Pastelmemer on or before August 17, 2015. And that lis pretty much all I can find. Even the HRC doesn’t credit who made this flag, bc literally it took me days to fucking find any credit at all.

The shades of pink and blue: Same gender attraction

The orange and green: Non binary and GNC people

Black and white: Asexual, aromantic, and the agender spectrum

This flag is one of my favorites (yes it's one of mine that I identify with) and so so so so little is know about it. A part of that is due to the word, queer. Literally, if you look up the queer flag on google the first things that come up are articles of the rainbow flag. For most ppl they use the word queer along with the most identifiable rainbow flag. Although there is nothing wrong with that, I do wish there was more knowledge about this flag.

After litteral days of trying to find the source, I did in fact find the source. Here is the credit for this flag, it's made by a genderqueer queer furry artist on Deviant art. They are no longer active due to mental health reasons.

https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Queer-2-553625141