#(except clones ofc)
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nativesofthenorthpole · 1 month ago
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So Anakin can sence the emotions even jedi masters are releasing into the Force.
(Imagine how intrusive that is? Even when you are being a jedi the correct way and releasing your emotions other (powerful) jedi can still sense what you were releasing and judge your character on that).
Ok so what if part of why Anakin is convinced Obi-Wan doesn't love him is because he's never felt him release love to the Force?
Meanwhile, while Obi-Wan releases plenty of Anakin related emotions into the Force. Worry, irritation, frustration, mostly. He holds onto the love.
That's why Anakin's never felt him give it to the Force. He keeps it.
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engagemythrusters · 2 years ago
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I forgot I had this Roona practice doodle sheet lying around but I'm here to bring it out for the second day of @starwars-art-events OC event >:)
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kelbottumbles · 5 months ago
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Christopher needs to be the one to fix Eddie. He needs to recognize that Eddie has forsaken all his joy in life (except for the proximity of his son) to be there for him. He should get MAD at Eddie, and shake him up inside with the same advice Eddie got from the priest, but sharper, more specific. Eddie is sad all the time, he pretends he isn't but it's written all over his face. And Christopher remembers when he was working at Dispatch, remembers the last time Eddie was away from his 118 family - from Buck. He remembers Eddie's destroyed room. And he remembers who he called to reach down and pull his dad up from the depths of that despair last time. It's so obvious that Eddie needs Buck in his life, why is his Dad such an IDIOT?
He needs his dad to stop being a martyr on his behalf when he never asked him to, and try to LIVE, try to be HAPPY again. Because that's why Christopher left, it was less about the Eddie cheating with a Shannon clone and more about how deeply unhappy he had been leading up to it all. He was so sick of the fake smiles and pretending everything was okay. He was sick of his Dad getting new girlfriends that he didn't even like, just because he thought it was what CHRISTOPHER needed. Christopher didn't need anyone else, as long as his Dad was whole. Plus, he had Buck.
But as usual, Eddie doesn't get that. Doesn't see how his own unhappiness affects those around him. He thinks that if he can just dig down and sacrifice more of himself, that he can fix this. He thinks that he can rip the beating heart out of his own chest and give it to Christopher and that will somehow make this entire mess better. But all it does is make it bloodier.
So YEAH, Christopher is pissed off that Eddie moved to El Paso, and it's not because he didn't miss being around him. It's because he's not FIGHTING for himself, he's just laying down to die. He didn't go to Texas to bring Christopher home, he went there to GIVE UP. And Christopher is 14 now, he's not a kidand he's not standing for this bullshit anymore. So he pushes and pushes his Dad to leave but Eddie isn't getting the message, isnt understanding that it's not that Christopher doesn't want him here, it's that he knows Eddie needs to be THERE.
So what else can he do? Who else could swoop in and rescue Eddie from himself as he tried to break down the walls around him and bury himself alive under the rubble of his life?
He calls Buck. He calls Buck and he begs him to save Eddie, just like he did last time. Just like he's done EVERY time.
And Buck has been doing his own wallowing, Buck's life isn't looking much better. He has been self destructive and in his own pit of despair. He wouldn't do it, just for himself. He's so convinced Eddie doesnt want him like that that he would NEVER.
Except this is CHRISTOPHER, we're talking about. So OFC he would drop everything (including the pretenses of his platonic friendship with Eddie) and come to Texas. Fuck, he'd go to Antarctica if Christopher asked him to. If he told Buck he needed his help.
I'm telling you, Christopher needs to be the one to fix this. It's a lot of pressure to put on a 14 year old, but that kid survived a Tsunami. And this time, he needs to be the storm.
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sulumuns-dootah · 3 months ago
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Good morning XD, then, if it doesn't bother you. Could you write the WHB!Kings reaction to a MC who is totally clumsy and unlucky? As if they will just trip on their own feet all the time, fell with their face on the ground, twisttheir hair in a branch and etc. (english is not my firts language, so sorry if I wrote something wrong😭 )
WHB kings w/ with really clumsy s/o
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⟡ Masterlist ⟡
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
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It's kinda funny that you have more bruises on your body from your own doing and not from Satan, but here we are
And Satan actually doesn't even like that
There's less space for him to mark you as his own
And also, when he does, everyone just thinks you just bumped into something again
Threatens you every time he sees you collide with comething that he'll wrap you up in bubble wrap or get you that inflatable ball thing
       ༺☆༻
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Mammon, being the protector he is, takes it upon himself to make sure you're okay and nothing harms you even if you do trip/bump into something
It seems to be working at first, but then you take an unfortunate tumble down a few steps
From then on you're not allowed to walk around edges and staircases without anyone being there to catch you in time
If you still keep getting into these small accidents, Mammon would have no other chance than to confine you to his palace and only allow you to leave under a close watch from one of his nobles
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It's hard for Levi to believe that someone so pretty has so little grace
Well... Everyone has flaws - except Levi - so you better deal with them yourself, no?
Leviathan doesn't really care about the outcome of your clumsiness unless it's something more serious like a broken bone or a deep cut
Oh, but don't you even dare to as much as stumble at some formal even while he has you on his arm
That's his cue to leave, even if it's held in his own castle
And then he won't even talk to you for the next week for embarassing him so much like that
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'Huhu, you're so silly, Y/N.'
Beel finds all your small accidents funny
As long they don't endanger you, ofc
The good thing about Beel is that he can actually protect you from something more fatal evenm if he's not aaround bc he - unlike Mammon - actually is looking over you 24/7
So it's easy for him to just quickly create a clone and save you
But is the amount of teasing afterwrads really worth it?
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Oh, you tripped? Hm... That must suck. Maybe if you stayed in bed, it wouldn't happen
Or so Belphie thinks until a thud wakes him up in the middle of the night
What happened? Oh nothing, you just had a bit more active dream and rolled off
And you would think that now he would be worried, huh? Nope, he just starts laughing and that's it
Actually, the one worried for you now is Beleth, who makes sure to either add some form of restraint or at least set soemthign softer under the bed on your side
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Asmo kinda gives me vibes, that he'll become a bit Yandere
Like the whole 'I lock you up for your own good bc the world out there is scary and dangerous'
Except the room you're stuck in does have a covered balcony and is more like a luxury studio apartment
And it has the added bonus of being safe from the other inmates in Abaddon, making it the safest place in the whole country
Oh, and don't make me forget about the amount of baby-proofing Asmo has installed for you
Guess beaing a seasoned father is useful to him for once
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Lucifer does get worried at first, seeing your bruises and cuts, but as long as they're not worse than that, he'll be okay with them
Though, you are banned from handling the medical instruments like scalpel for your and everyone else's sake
It's kinda hard to come into harm's way in the hospital, actually
The way it's designed is for it to be safe for any inmate so in theory, you should be fine
But ofc, you alway find a way, right?
Lucifer kinda htes to admit it to himself, but he enjoys having you go to him with any small injury like a papercut or broken nail
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badgalsasuke · 4 months ago
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Hi! None of my friends are into Naruto so I came to your ask. Please bear with me :,(
It’s nothing serious: just wanted to ramble about Naruto and Sasuke in Naruto Gaiden. They give such huge exes energy it’s both painful and funny to witness.
It’s painful because they both clearly didn’t let go of their feelings. Naruto sends his shadow clone to deal with his own son (or go to his own daughter’s birthday!) but he meets Sasuke in person. And it’s not like it was even necessary! He was pretty comfortable talking about this exact problem on a phone with Kakashi. He could’ve sent Sasuke a letter, he could’ve sent someone else to help him, he could’ve sent him a goddamn clone.
And Sasuke being all bitter with Naruto in that flashback. Kishimoto was literally showing us the real exes behavior and too many people didn’t bat an eye. (I’m really curious how sns deniers explain that scene)
There was a whole ass Hinata humiliation moment with bento. Boruto wanted to return the bento to her because even he knew Naruto would not appreciate it and when Naruto finally got it the only thing he thought about was how Sasuke fed him. Not even a single thought about his wife or at least his children?
Naruto always being there for Sarada while neglecting his own child… wow. I never thought he and Sasuke were that similar. (Also him, and not Sasuke’s wife, telling Sasuke’s daughter about his past. Nah, definitely doesn’t ring a bell lmao)
Naruto thinking of Iruka and Sasuke when talking about love and family. I guess if he really loved his wife he would’ve thought of her too. She’s supposed to be his immediate family now…
I know there are people who are homophobic and just refuse to see the obvious, but there’s literally a bunch of people who are dumb or blind. And of course there’s this special category of dumb who think that Kishimoto “accidentally” created his own story.
I just know he spent many nights sleepless, trying to make ss and nh as realistic as it should be. I wish more people recognized work.
Anyways, sorry for my messy ask. I’m just full of thoughts rn. I almost didn’t include ss moments cuz they’re not even worth mentioning, plus you’ve talked about the forehead poke several times and I agree with everything you said. Thanks for reading or no offense if you decided to skip my ask 🫶
Hi anon!
I think people saw what was going on with Gaiden and that's why it remains Kishimoto's most controversial work. SS shippers really don't like to touch upon it and barely bring it up in their discussions and arguments except for *sometimes* the "because we have you" panel and it's just sometimes because you can't deny how miserable both Sasuke and Sakura look there. Outside of SNS circles, I've noticed the rest of the fandom don't bring it up as often, they'd rather ignore it.
There was a whole ass Hinata humiliation moment with bento. Boruto wanted to return the bento to her because even he knew Naruto would not appreciate it and when Naruto finally got it the only thing he thought about was how Sasuke fed him.
This moment is why it baffles me a bit why people think NH is the better marriage out the two het!ships because Naruto clearly does not give a fuck about that woman just like Sasuke doesn't care about Sakura.
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Naruto knew, and Boruto knew that he knew it was made by Hinata especially for him because she loves him. But when Naruto has the opportunity to go meet with Sasuke in person why would he want anything from Hinata? Once again reminding us why for The Last they had to make sure Sasuke wasn't in the village lol.
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But you gotta love how Kishimoto expresses what a bento means. It's not about just feeding someone, it's more about that special person sharing it with you.
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Boruto thinks of his mom, because well, ofc he would think that's his dad's special person, all kids want to believe their parents are each other's soulmate and love of their lives.
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Kishimoto telling us how a bento is not just food for sharing for the sake of feeding someone, it's about being present in the mind and heart of a loved one. That's why for Naruto this moment is so significant, how special he had to be for Sasuke he’d want to share a meal with him (and forcing Sakura to do the same as well) when he was a loser nobody, ahhh my heart. Kishimoto is truly a great tragic romance writer.
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I think people sometimes focus too much on deciphering Sarada's true backstory (I get it, it's very juicy), that people kinda overlook Naruto telling us that even after all those years married and having two kids, Sasuke is still his #1 love. A heartbroken Sarada complained that after all those years away Sasuke forgot even her face and she's not blood-related to Sakura, and I find fascinating how Naruto responds "there's something stronger than time and blood... love".
He's been married for 13 years and has two kids and yet all that time and that blood relation won't change that his bond with Sasuke formed out of pure love (because people always say "Sasuke and Naruto didn't even spend that much time together, it doesn't make sense they're obsessed with each other) is the most important one alongside his bond with Iruka. Doesn't matter how many years they go without seeing each other, Naruto will always love Sasuke.
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suzukiblu · 5 months ago
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reading back through "cassie gets a pocket" rn and just thinking about the boys tent. they wake up with nine pockets, six of which come from each other. that's gotta be an Experience
can u IMAGINE Tim Drake's suffering as they all totally fail to sort out whose Bart is his and whose Superboy is his, much less whose CASSIE is his?? HE IS HAVING A CRISIS RIGHT NOW AND HE NEEDS HIS INTEL ORGANIZED FOR IT, DAMMIT. also oh god how is he gonna explain THREE new Pockets of people his dad's never even met showing up at once to him. hOW.
Bart will not be explaining anything to anyone, ofc, Bart will just show up at school with triple Pockets chilling in his hair floof and go about his day while everyone in his grade is just like "man Bart's so COOL, he doesn't care what ANYBODY thinks!" Then Impulse shows up with three new Pockets five minutes later and the exact same kids are like "god he's so lame, what's he even DOING".
And, uh, literally no one cares about Superboy getting Pockets except maybe the Agenda is annoyed that now they have to do a ton of R&D to figure out if they can make holographic Pockets the next time they need Match to pass for him. Or maybe if they just CLONE those other three Young Justice members, the problem will self-correct . . . ?? 🤔🤔🤔
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thecrowslullaby · 1 year ago
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My friend convinced me to post the au idea so here goes nothing.
Due to some misunderstanding the men on 212th come to the conclussion that Kenobi and Jango Fett were married (possibly shinies overhearing Cody mentioning that Kenobi 'visited' Jango on Kamino and it spirals down from there). With Fett now gone and the clones worried about their General's loneliness they decide, that given they are clones of Jango, they should step up as substitue husbands.
All of them.
Ofc nobody informs Kenobi (or Cody) about this mission which only leads to more misunderstandings as the clones try to act out romantic gestures.
Romantic dinner? -> they shove Kenobi in a closet that is only lit by candles with dinner -> Kenobi interprets it as a very forceful signal that his men worry he isn't eating enough.
Handholding? -> whenever a clone is walking in the same direction as the jedi they grab his hand and wordlessly walk with him down the corridor until Kenobi slips out his hand out of theirs -> Obi wa assumes this is some random spike of protectiveness after his less than successful fight with grevious last week.
Flowers? -> after a mission on a planet lush with flowers each clone picks Kenobi a sizable bouquette and the jedi returns to a room willed with all of his tea cups actict as flower vases -> is this some comment about his tea addiction?
BONUS: Unfortunatelly all of the clones effort only seem to make the General more uneasy, so they decide to ask for help the only other adult jedi who they meet regulary - Anakin. Except they explain it poorly and Anakin comes to the conclussion thay the clomes figured out his marriage. This only leads to more horrible ideas on how to properly 'romance' Kenobi
BONUS 2 (Codywan): through all of this Cody and Obi wan are dancing around dating each other and the vod are not helping. No one bothered to tell Cody about their plan of being substitute husbands to Obi Wan.
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fuckyouquiznak · 3 months ago
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So, recently I have been in this loop of rewatching Glee and being obsessed with Star Wars…. Here’s some good old Obikin in the AU!Glee because midichlorians told me I had to.
Of course, I believe in the following headcanons:
Obi-wan is the Glee Club teacher. He is new at school. The glee club seemed like a good project to start. He knows his students are not very good singers… still he truly believes in them and always pushes them to give their best (Ashoka and the Clones try very hard, ok!? Not everybody is gifted)
Anakin is insufferable (<3). He is Rachel Berry but popular — a nightmare. Of course, he is good in everything he does. He is a straight A student, part of the football team, in the cheerios and he is the main singer of the glee club.
Basically the glee club could be called “Anakin and the others” and nobody would care
“oh well, at least he made the glee popular” - said everybody
To be totally honest though, Anakin didn’t wanna be a singer. In fact, he used to bully the glee members with slushes like everyone else. However, he changed his mind when he saw the new hot professor
Anakin has a huge crush on Mr. Kenobi
Like huge huge
And he is not very subtle about it Suzy Pepper coded.
He makes all sorts of advances. He gives Mr. Kenobi gifts (spot them in the drawing), he tries to make excuses to stay longer with him in the auditorium “tO sTuDY tHe sOngS” like he doesn’t eat high notes for breakfast
He even started wearing the cheerios uniform more after he found out Obi-wan likes how the pants make his butt look (he didn’t like say it out loud, but Anakin swears the older man has indeed looked at his butt once)
Obi-wan is so uncomfortable about it
Part of him wishes to just ban Anakin from the glee club in order to completely avoid him, but unfortunately there is no glee without Anakin’s voice
He has no choice The Force ships it
But Anakin is not that bad after all.
Sure, he is cocky, arrogant and manipulative. But he can be also very sweet, loyal and attentive. And he is undeniably attractive…
But he is one of his students!!! A minor!!!! He shouldn’t even be looking at him!!! Illegal!!! And against all decencies and morals!!! —Though his butt in the cheerios uniform does look great
Palpatine is the Cheerios coach. He is not happy about Anakin going around singing songs with those nerds of the glee club and skipping the cheerleading practice
Yoda is principal Higgins
Eventually, Obi-wan does fall in love with Anakin
“That’s fucked up and I am here for it” - Qui-gon Jin, football coach, Obi-wan’s best friend
“We all knew before it even happened” - Ashoka, glee member
“I think Mr. Kenobi made Anakin gay. Too bad, he was a good boyfriend, really god with his hands” - Padme, former ? Anakin’s girlfriend and school counselor
“Why is everybody talking about love drama and not doing glee club stuff? What happened to singing and dancing?“ - Dooku, former founder of the glee club back in the days and occasional guest star
Don’t worry. Obi-wan is very legal.
The moment stuff gets heated with Anakin (they kiss on the lips one time and he pulls away after one second) he dramatically resigns from teaching
He has failed his student. He blames himself for grooming him.
“Grooming what grooming? I did it all by myself. I just like older people. Ask Padme” - Anakin
Obi-wan has already made his decision. “It’s better for everybody” except everybody disagrees…
Ofc he leaves just before the glee club finals… and then I stop because this is getting out of hand
“This story sucks, I am so thankful Richard Rodgers didn’t get to hear it” - Dooku
“Richard who?” - Ashoka
If anybody has other headcanons or just wants to write a ff about it, I would be so happy to hear it — I just want these two to be happy at least in one universe.
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junoshifts · 6 months ago
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𝓑UT I’M A MILLION DIFFERENT PEOPLE FROM ONE DAY TO THE NEXT . . .
╰ juno’s list of realities + lovers ! ✶
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prythian / acotar — morrigan
fae + alchemy — kingfisher
better cr — ( 🪡 )
smallville x arrow — oliver queen
smallville #2 — lois lane + clark kent
sabrina x dcu — zatanna zatara
justice league — john constantine
sw clone wars — west
sw clone wars ! senator — tukk
shatter me x star wars — aaron warner
throne of glass — dorian havilliard
spiderverse — percy de rolo ( spider-noir )
arcane — percy de rolo
fantasy high ! teacher — percy de rolo
grishaverse — percy de rolo
vox machina ( multiple variations )
vex’ahlia
keyleth + vax’ildan
percy de rolo
dorian havilliard + percy de rolo
gwyneth berdara
modern ! tlok — asami sato + korra
arcane — caitlyn kiramman + violet
xmen — remy lebeau
legends of tomorrow #2 — charlie (clotho)
group spiderverse — charlie (clotho)
mighty nein — yasha nydoorin
crescent city — bryce quinlan
infernal devices — william herondale
mortal instruments — isabelle lightwood
stardew x acotar — elain archeron
fame (cr/d20) — david corenswet
voltron — keith kogane
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note . . . these are only a few of my many realities, the list could go on forever . . . there are a few drs i will not be chatting about on here because of how personal + special they are to me, but those are not listed here <3 i am more than happy to answer asks + questions about each dr ( with some exceptions for personal details + privacy ofc )
layout inspired by layla as usual !
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bluecheckeredskirt · 2 months ago
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66!Raph Design
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I wanted to do squares since that’s his shape, but it wasn’t possible unless I wanted him to look even more squashed. So I used vertical lines to try and made his helmet a little taller than his actual head to make him look more spread out/taller.
I was originally scared to draw Phase II clone helmets, but Phase I wouldn’t suit his face type so I had to. I’m happy with how it turned out.
With all his spikes and his buffness, he was the hardest to create armor for. Lucky for him, Draxum a genius when it comes to this stuff.
I love the handprint on Echo’s armor, and I figured out of all the turtles, Raph would be the most likely to have it on his. ❤️
The red paint on his thigh plating resembles his shorts.
As much as I am a Raph alligator tail truther, I couldn’t figure out how to work it in his design without it looking out of place 😔
Whenever he’s in his armor, he’s referred to as One (only exception is his brothers, ofc).
Also I swear I love Raph but the only reason I didn’t include him in the concept art was because I couldn’t think of another clone reference. If you guys have any suggestions I would be willing but I literally just couldn’t think of what to do for Raph. But for now, he’ll just be a cameo in concept art for Mikey
(Also I lowkey forgot how to draw hands when drawing the four so forgive me if they look weird 😭)
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wowowokay · 5 months ago
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Okay uh wow two of my posts got a lot of attention last night thank you!! And dw I will be posting more fic recs :))
Astronomy In Reverse - pansley
Amazing fic (like changed my life) but tbh I’m having a bit of trouble remembering how it ends but it’s a Steve Rogers/James “Bucky” Barnes and Bucky is in hiding in New York after the whole thing in DC and he’s trying to stay under the radar hiding from Steve and Hydra and one day he runs into Spider-Man and that’s where their (100% PLATONIC/FAMILIAL FEELINGS) relationship starts :) it’s really cute and there’s some angst ofc
Words: 184,785 Chapters: 25/25
To a fault - Bergen
Okay this one is a series and is amazing basically hydra peter Parker and the avenger essentially save him but Peter doesn’t really see it that way he doesn’t really understand most of what they are doing and they are trying to help him anddd yeah! (Yet again trying not to spoil accidentally lolol) yet again this is a series and it’s complete the series is called Peter is a precious chickpea and there are three works in the series! Also for word count I’m including the whole series and I totally recommend checking out Bergens other works they have a ton of Irondad fics!
Words: 25,520
My Son - Scififan33
Okay so this one is also part of a series called My Son, Our Son and the second part is called Our Son but basically the first one is about Tim going a little insane and trying to clone Kon after his death and then Tim goes into hiding so they wouldn’t take his baby away and he leaves a not but ofc the others think he was kidnapped and go looking but never find him then Bruce “dies” and it’s been a while now and quiet of few people assume Tim is gone for good except for Kon who just came back from the dead then the next part of the series is about Tim, Kon and their baby :))
Words: 30,405
I hope you enjoy! And yes I will continue posting it just might take a minute I don’t have my fics organized at ALL 🥲 also sorry if these descriptions are super ramble-y and stop being as descriptive towards the end I’m horrible with accidentally spoiling stuff so I’m trying to be super careful!!
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niobiumao3 · 1 year ago
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So...
The Clone X isn't Tech, IMO, unless the writing is really bad. If I had to guess, it's Cody. Reasoning:
* General amazing badassery
* I really do feel like Cross--and the rest of them--would know if he was fighting Tech.
* He talks to Cross, while they're fighting, like someone who was there when Cross was (failing to be) re-educated. Not just heard about it, but watched and was disappointed. Cross would KNOW if Tech was one of them and would have already mentioned it.
* Cross explicitly suggests his defective status is why it didn't take. Ofc he could be wrong but if he's not then Tech would be the same.
* Rex's whole cell just got wiped out and he didn't bat an eyelash in terms of The Fight. But if Cody is a Clone X and invades Pabu? That would fuck him up.
* Cross is clearly INTENSELY upset about these guys. Did he watch Cody get wiped clean? (Wonder if this is what he and Omega are gonna discuss...) That would be particularly traumatic.
* Knife action. Who's our other knife guy? Yeah.
* If that was Tech Pabu would already be toast. We know this guy was only activated to kill the other Clone X, NOT to find Omega. If you had someone from Omega's actual squad would you not send him out the second she escaped? Unless his training wasn't done at that point but that also doesn't make a lot of sense because the guy knew about Cross and knew he'd failed the training. So, his was done, or done enough he'd heard about Cross, but the suggestion is they were in together.
I can't see a way to correct the the last part and have that be Tech, not in any way which is consistent with Hemlock's character and behaviors. There's literally no reason, if that's Tech, for them to not have put him to work if he was available as soon as Omega got away. Edit: one suggestion is amnesia. That doesn't account for Cross being immune because he's a 99 but Tech not being immune. We're back where we started except now Cross is wrong about why they couldn't break him AND Tech has no memories. That seems incredibly convoluted.
So anyways IMO p clear Tech is a) in a prison on Eriadu, b) with pirates, c) skulking around Tantiss and stealing people's clothes. He's not the Clone X though.
Bet he and Phee will arrive together.
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toska-writes · 2 years ago
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Jedi Maul has been on the brainnnnn!
“Jedi Knight Maul AU”
Summary: With the idea of Jedi Maul of course knowing me I had to twist it into a Platonic piece! Enjoy these headcannons of Jedi Maul
Pairing: Jedi!Maul AU x GN padawan!Reader (ofc it’s platonic!)
Warning: ummm none really I can think of!
Word Count: 913 (I didn’t proof read lol)
Notes: since I couldn’t find any fics like this I filled in! I swear I’ll get back to doing requests but with school now fully back I do have a little more to do in my free time, whether I like it or not
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-if anyone ever messed with or talked bad about his commander or men they definitely have another thing coming
-He gives me very protective dad/older brother vibes but only to his little tight knit circle
-And that would include you soon enough
- I definitely think if this certain AU wasn't set in the clone wars Maul would look for a strong willed padawan to pass his teachings too
-HOWEVER do you know how many bad things you would learn from him??? Mostly likely any swear word from any dialect in the entire galaxy. He would give Wolffe a run for his money for the way he would roll his eyes- and don't get me started on how he would totally blow senators off " in the most polite way"
-except of course the nice senators that want the best for everyone including the clones *cough cough Senator Chunchi my beloved*
-and I just keep thinking of this scene where maybe the both of you are talking to the council or maybe some Sith, and Maul would totally make a quip to you or something to ease the tension
-He would want the absolute best and peace of mind when he can't be right with you on the battlefield, because at the beginning he definitely wanted to be
-Maul definitely isn't the type to verbally encourage you, I think he'd be more of an act of services. Whether that be with a blanket and a shoulder to lean on after a hard battle, or helping you clean and wrap a wound if you don't necessarily want to go to the med bay
-Teaching you have to fly is like doing math homework with a parent at the kitchen counter. However after a few more lessons it is definitely a hobby you like doing together even if there is a little banter
-I can imagine on a far away planet while away for a campaign he may or may not sign you up for a pod race just for some extra credits. Would he cheat?... well it's worth it when he sees you fly around the corner with the rest of the troops cheering like mad men
-Meditating is... something else. He knows how hard it is to just sit. And relax, especially in a time of war. But it seems more bearable with someone else for the both of you
-Maul would take lightsaber and dueling technique training very seriously, it's an art form in his eyes and something that he believes he can excel at so of course it's one of the first things the two of you bond over
-He would want to make sure you are prepared for anything, hand to hand, blasters, lightsaber you name it
-Now let’s say something does go wrong and maybe just maybe you get hurt
-One word would be furious, what ever man or creature did that better say their good byes quickly.
-He’s not one to lose his padawan, or hurt by seppies in that matter
-now let’s be honest he’s pretty intimidating and holds a high standard for everything but when the broken little voice of his padawan says they’re scared- his heart is broken into a million pieces.
-that would probably be the only time where he properly brought his voice down to provide some comfort.
-Also can we talk about how dramatic he would be, maybe your sparing and you jab him in the chest.
-he would definitely grab his chest and look at you stunned saying his own padawan is growing before falling to the ground
-two more words: war crimes. I don’t have to explain and I won’t
-there would be so many different competitions among the ranks, kinda like how Anakin and Ahsoka see who can kill the most droids. Something to make the war seem bearable
-Now if anyone ever found out about these last few parts he’d wither away to nothing
-I would say Maul has something against the cold, he doesn’t like snow or being freezing. And so when it comes time for a cold related planet everyone has to know
-the clones would definitely be making different jokes and such but of course behind closed doors, no one wants a cold upset Maul
-however when it comes time for night Mauls CC definitely let’s him bunk with him
-that’s when the clone cuddle piles with the two Jedi really get started
-there’s just something about being absolutely surround by people you know you can properly trust and they trust you to protect them.
-and I’m more than certain the both of you have probably stolen blankets from the clones barracks
-On sleepless nights you both could probably be found talking about the most random shit that had nothing to do with the raging responsibility. Or even in tougher ones with nightmares Maul would most likely put an arm around you and have you fall asleep there
-My boys trying ok. Being a single father to his padawan with a bunch of crazy uncles
-He tries, maybe one day it’s both of you painting your own fighter or tricking it out, maybe it’s another where it’s all intense training and he carries you back to the temple room
-All in all I think Maul would be a fun interesting master to have!
If you want to see this take the form of an actual fic let me know!!!
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the-bad-batch-baroness · 1 year ago
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Where's Mommy?
Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)
Part 10
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Summary: Wolffe's wife suddenly dies, leaving him a single father in the middle of a war.
Pairing: Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)
Characters: Wolffe, Cara (child OFC), Comet, Sinker, Boost, Plo Koon
Tags & Warnings: heavy angst, mention of death, off-screen death, spousal death, grief, hurt/comfort, family fluff
Word Count: 1.3k
Author's Note: Things are still crazy right now, but I am managing. Thank you to everyone who has reached out. I appreciate it! This is another transitional chapter. Not much happens, other than the plot moving forward. You know, the meaning of "filler episode" really changes when you write 😅 The chapter isn't exciting or emotional, but it's still important to the overall plot and contains context for future chapters. As always, please enjoy 💚
Beta: @beating-a-dead-plot
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The ride over to the Jedi Temple was quiet once Cara settled on Wolffe's lap. Most children lulled to sleep by the hum of a moving ship or speeder, and Cara was no exception. Wolffe didn't mind, though. He preferred her to be asleep and peaceful than awake and chaotic. She'd been through enough already, and yet, the tragedy was nowhere near over. Not by a long shot. Deep down he knew the funeral was going to rip off every bandage he and the others had meticulously placed.
They could lie, dance around the truth, replace facts with illusion, and carefully craft misdirection, but at the end of the day, they couldn't hide it forever. The pain was painted across all of their faces. A grim truth they all knew but refused to acknowledge, even by Wolffe. No one wanted to speak it aloud for fear that maybe, just maybe, if they didn't say it, it wouldn't happen. But while trying to conceal it from Cara, they had disillusioned themselves with their own blank stares and frowns.
Wolffe gazed out the window and watched as other speeders flew by, lost in his thoughts about the future. Not many clones thought about the future, because it wasn't in their brain chemistry to look beyond anything other than their immediate present, but that changed for Wolffe after he met his wife. There was a moment where it felt like he unlocked a part of his brain. The part that wanted to survive and thrive, instead of fight and die. It was a fleeting feeling, but there nonetheless.
He was wondering, not only about the funeral, but about what came after the funeral. What would he do when he received a new assignment? He couldn't stay on Coruscant forever. No clone could. Wolffe scoffed at his own thoughts and corrected himself. Actually, the only clones who could stay on Coruscant forever were the Coruscant Guard. Wolffe thought they were lucky, even if they didn't think they were. Fox would kill to be back on the battlefield in any capacity, and Wolffe would trade his command with Fox’s in a heartbeat.
However, Fox had his own life to lead and his own things to worry about on Coruscant. That was just how life was for the clones. It was a luck of the draw in who got to be a commander and who got to be stationed where. To the Republic, all clones were the same, so to them, it wouldn't matter what clones went where, but to the clones, sometimes, it did matter. Clones who hadn't been around long enough didn't understand, and those who had, didn't live long enough after they found out.
Wolffe was pulled from his thoughts when the speeder braked as they arrived at the Jedi Temple. He peered out of the window at the towering structure and breathed deep as he felt his heart rate increase. He had never been enthralled with the Jedi like other clones; finding their religion strange and their battle tactics even stranger. Perhaps it was the deep-seeded Mandalorian genes coursing through his veins that made him wary of the so-called peacekeepers, even if Rex and Cody tried to convince him otherwise.
The only Jedi Wolffe remotely liked, or even cared about, was his own. General Plo Koon saved him, Boost's, and Sinker's lives, and for that he owed him his undying loyalty. The rest of them he disregarded. He served them as he should, like any good soldier who followed orders, but that didn't mean he had to like them or worship them. It was the Jedi that caused him to lose his first battalion, even though he alone received the demerits for it, much to his general's chagrin.
To stand at the precipice of the Jedi Temple, with the intent to leave his beloved daughter in the care of those Force-wielding wizards, that weren't his general, made his skin crawl. Even with his disdain for the Jedi, it was still better than the alternative of Cara entering the foster care system, or even worse, being left in the care of her grandparents. That thought alone made Wolffe sick. At least with this arrangement, he could come and go within the Jedi Temple without explanation.
"Do you want to put your armor on?" Comet asked from across Wolffe.
Wolffe moved his gaze from the window to look down at Cara, who was still asleep on his lap, and then up at Comet. "Whenever I put my armor on, she thinks I'm leaving."
"Understood," Comet nodded. "I'll have Aug– Warthog bring it to your new quarters."
Wolffe chuckled.
"I'll grab a box," Sinker said as he exited the speeder.
"I'll grab the other box," Boost said as he also exited the speeder.
Comet, Cara, and Wolffe were soon left alone in the speeder and Wolffe wasn't too keen on moving from his spot. The hesitation wasn't lost on Comet.
"You really don't want to do this, do you?" Comet asked.
"Would you?" Wolffe retorted, his disdain bleeding through. "Would you leave your kid with strangers? With Jedi?"
"It's not that bad," Comet said.
Wolffe huffed and looked back out of the window. "You'll never understand."
"Guess not," Comet sighed. "I'll probably die before I fall in love and have a kid like you did."
Wolffe snapped his eyes back to Comet and glared at him. "Don't get insubordinate with me, Corporal."
"Wouldn't dream of it, Commander," Comet said before leaving the speeder.
Wolffe tilted his head back against the top of the seat and groaned. He was such an idiot. Even after everything Comet did for him following his wife's death, everything he did for Cara, Wolffe still had the audacity to bite at him like he was some random shiny that stepped out of line. Pathetic. At least he continued to live up to his namesake, whether he was proud of it or not, because when a wolf is cornered, it will lash out. He needed to get his fears, anxieties, and his temper under control, and sooner rather than later.
"Daddy?" Cara said sleepily as she stirred on his lap.
Wolffe tilted his head back down and smiled. "Hi, baby."
Cara whined. "I wanna sleep."
Wolffe picked her up so she was sitting on his legs instead of laying on them, much to her protest. "Not yet. We need to get settled in our new room first, then you can have a nap."
Cara whined and wriggled uncomfortably against Wolffe as he moved along the seat towards the speeder door.
"I know," Wolffe soothed as he exited the speeder and sat her on his hip. "Daddy wants a nap too, but can you stay awake for me for a little longer?"
Cara groaned and moved restlessly in Wolffe's grasp.
"Close enough," Wolffe sighed.
Wolffe carried Cara towards the edge of the stairway leading up to the Jedi Temple, where his general and men were waiting for him. He gripped her tightly in his arms, afraid that at any moment someone was going to rip her out of his arms and he'd never see her again. It wasn't an entirely irrational fear. The Jedi took children away from their parents all of the time. What made his daughter so different from those children? What if he left her here and never got her back?
"Calm yourself, Commander," Plo said when he sensed Wolffe's trepidation through the Force. "There are no enemies within these walls, only the enemies we bring in from within ourselves."
Wolffe heeded his general's words of wisdom and steadied himself. He stared up at the daunting, durastone stairway, took a deep breath, then released it slowly. He was as ready as he would ever be, and he hadn't even gotten to the hard part yet. Nevertheless, he stepped forward, and his men stepped forward with him in solidarity. A silent march up the Jedi Temple steps towards a new normal. A terrifying new normal, for both him and Cara, but this was only the beginning of it.
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bunny7567 · 9 months ago
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I got you - chapter 4
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Pairing: Rex x Jedi!ofc
Word count: 5.5k Warnings: self-destructive behaviour; mentions of heavy drinking; self-hatred; ptsd; implied emotional abuse; some angst │let me know if I'm missing anything, writing these warnings is a lot more difficult than I expected
a/n: I feel so anxious to post this chapter, it's honestly one of my favourites from what I've written so far.
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Lexie was sat at the bar in her usual cantina, a half-drunk glass of liquor in front of her. It was her fifth, maybe her sixth actually, she had started drinking way too early in the day. They had been back on Coruscant two days now, after spending two rotations in the orbit of Erosh-4, awaiting the reinforcements that would take over safeguarding the refinery.
She had spent most of those two rotations confined to her room, finding it impossible to be around the clones due to the cold, overwhelming feeling she had sensed when all those men had died around her coming over her again every time she would look a trooper in the eyes.
She busied herself with looking over regulation manuals or attempting to learn Mando’a. She had heard the men use Mando’a words every now and then since joining the battalion and thought it would be good to know what they were saying. Plus, it was a decent distraction from the guilt and self-hatred.
It had been the worst when she had to face Kix, the medic insisting the following rotation after the battle that he needed to change her bandages and check on the wound. He was angry with her, she didn’t even need to look through the Force in order to tell. As she sat on an examining table in the medbay, the guilt she felt was so strong it had made her nauseous. She had to dig her nails into her arm to keep herself from throwing up. Kix had not said much to her as he applied another bacta patch on her almost-healed injury, keeping it strictly professional and informing her that she would not need a third bacta patch the following day.
She wished she could apologise, but what would she even say? Sorry my incompetence got all your brothers needlessly killed? Sorry I was too stubborn and worried about appearances to listen to a much more experienced soldier? Lexie didn’t think he would believe her anyway. She sensed it in him and in all the other clones she would pass in the corridors, the mistrust, the resentment. They all believed she was a clone-hater, just like her master.
She had managed to avoid Rex almost completely these past few days, with the exception of two briefings it was mandatory for her to attend that he was also present for. As curious as she was about the reason he had not given Anakin the full account of their failed mission, the shame she felt every time she would look at him was too much for her to handle.
She had not managed, however, to avoid Ahsoka. She had approached Lexie on multiple occasions, eager to get to know her better. The young Padawan’s enthusiasm was contagious and Lexie had to admit she would feel a little better in her presence. Unfortunately, the respite from self-hatred never lasted too long, Anakin would end up joining them after a while and Lexie would feel like a disappointment to her friend all over again. He didn’t have to say it, she felt it in his eyes. Even he wasn’t sure of her character anymore.
Lexie finished her drink and decided to leave. Maybe with the help of the alcohol she would actually manage to sleep tonight. The guilt she felt had kept her awake ever since that mission. She was exhausted.
But it wasn’t just guilt, she was scared she realised, scared that if she closed her eyes she would wake up on a battlefield, get hurt again. She hadn’t thought that much about her injury, it had not been that serious and it felt like nothing compared to the deaths of all those men, but it had actually affected her more than she wanted to admit. Every corner she would turn, she was worried she would come face to face with one of those battle droids and at night, alone in her room, she felt unsafe and vulnerable.
Lexie reached the barracks a little while after the sun had set. She wasn’t only joking with what she had said to Rex during the tour, she really did hate sneaking into the Jedi Temple while drunk and planned to make full use of the private room she was given on the base. If only she could find it.
She tried to remember the way the Captain had taken her, but the corridors all looked the same and, while she had sobered up a little bit during her walk from the cantina to the base, she was still tipsy, which did not help at all with orientation. She stepped off the lift at the wrong level and heard laughter and muffled voices coming from an open door ahead of her. She decided to follow it, hoping that maybe she would find Echo and ask him for directions again. What’s more embarrassment in front of him anyway?
She did find Echo, but also Fives, Kix, Jesse, Hardcase and Rex. They were all in a training room, Fives and Hardcase were on the training mat, mid sparring session, while the others were hanging around, watching and chatting and, from the half-drunk bottles of ale laying around, Lexie could tell this was more a friendly hang-out than a training exercise. It was their night off after all, she remembered, and they all looked relaxed. Fives, Jesse and Hardcase were not wearing their armor, being dressed only in their blacks, while the other three still had the lower part of the armor on.
Seeing all of them there she felt a pit in her stomach and wanted to turn away and leave before she was spotted, but it was too late. The Captain had noticed the movement by the door and looked towards it, his honey-coloured eyes meeting hers. Shit.
It was too late for her to run, the others had noticed her too and looked towards the door. Unfortunately for Fives, who had abruptly dropped his defences as he saw one of his generals in the doorway, Hardcase was the last to notice her, and could not stop his fist in time before making contact with Fives’ face. He stumbled backwards and lifted his hand to his jaw, letting out a cuss word under his breath. Lexie slightly grimaced as she saw the punch that Fives took; it was her fault, she had broken his concentration.
She stood there just looking at them for a second, she had to find something to say to dissipate the awkward tension that had formed. Just act normal.
“Drinking in the training room, Captain? That has to violate at least three GAR regulations”, she said in a teasing tone.
The playfulness in her voice did not seem to register with Rex, as his posture got rigid and concern clouded his Force signature. “Apologies General, we have the night off and we were just trying to unwin-”.
“Relax Captain, I wasn’t reprimanding you”, Lexie cut him off, taking a few steps towards the group. She crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her head to the side, an idea forming into her mind. A bad one, most likely, that she would have immediately dismissed if she were sober. “Say, which one of you is the best at hand-to-hand combat?”
“Definitely Rex”, Hardcase responded quickly, earning a look from the Captain.
“Is that so?” she took a few more steps towards him. “Care to show me your skills, Captain? I could use the practice”.
“I… I don’t think I would be in my best form, Sir, I did have something to drink”, he replied taken aback by her proposal.
“That’s perfect actually, I’m just coming from a bar myself, so the playing field will be level”, she countered. “What, are you worried you’ll get your ass handed to you in front of your brothers?”.
“Well, you are a Jedi, Sir”, he replied.
“No Jedi tricks, I promise”, Lexie raised her hands up to emphasise her point. “Just plain combat skills”.
“I don’t think it’s the best idea, General”, Rex was still hesitant.
“I didn’t take you for a hut'uun, Captain”, she said looking straight into his eyes.
A flash of anger from Rex reached Lexie, her comment had really hit a nerve. Rex was a brave leader and a proud soldier. He was anything but a coward. And to have her say that to him, and in Mando’a? He couldn’t believe her audacity. Yes, he and the other clones weren’t technically considered Mandalorian, but they were proud of their genetic heritage and had incorporated the Mando’a they learned from their trainers into their vocabulary as a way to distance themselves from the Kaminoans. It didn’t sit well with him to hear her use it as an insult at his expanse.
Had he really been that wrong about her? He hadn’t actually expected her to recognise him but he thought she would at least be the same Jedi he had fought side by side with. But the way she had acted these past few days… her disbelief that she could have been tricked by a clone after the lightsaber training exercise, her disregard for the safety of his brothers during their mission and now the cockiness with which she threw Mando’a around.
Was Kix right, had he been too sentimental about her? He had tried to defend her ever since their mission, excusing it as a mistake and lack of experience and shutting down all talk he heard about her being a clone-hater. But maybe it wasn’t a front like he believed, maybe she really just was this cold and heartless.
“Fine. Let’s practice”, Rex said coldly.
“This should be good”, Fives said a little too loudly leaning towards Jesse.
Lexie tied her hair into a ponytail and took off her dark green satin blouse. It wasn’t exactly adequate for sparring, the sleeves were too flowy, but she did have a black sports bra underneath. Under normal circumstances she wouldn’t have been comfortable being seen in just the sports bra, she was very self-conscious about her abdomen, but right now she was still tipsy enough not to mind.
She moved to the centre of the mat, feeling all eyes on her and catching a glimpse of Echo who looked at her with concern. The Captain followed behind her and they both warmed up their joints and muscles for a couple of minutes before taking their stances.
Lexie wasn’t exactly sure why she decided to challenge him but she couldn’t turn back now. She sized her opponent up and moved to make the first strike. Rex easily dodged her hand but did not move to retaliate, instead resuming his defensive stance. She stepped back.
“Don’t take it easy on me, Captain, I can hold my own”, Lexie said. Rex frowned in response.
She moved on him again, attempting a few quick punches at his abdomen and managing to land one of them, however not hard enough to faze him. This time he did attempt a counter move which she had to deflect with her forearm.
“Oh come on! I’m sure you can do better than that”, she taunted. She could feel his irritation growing.
She raised her leg attempting a blow to the head and forcing Rex to step back and avoid it, resuming his defensive stance right after.
“Come on, Captain, you’re not even trying to hit me!”, Lexie raised her voice before she launched another attack that Rex deflected. “This is your chance for payback, use it!”.
Rex was taken aback by her comment and suddenly became aware of her panting. They had not been at this long enough for her to be this out of breath already. He had to use his forearms to defend himself from more punches that she threw his way and took the opportunity that her proximity gave him to use his shoulder and push her back. It made contact with her chest and she stumbled a few steps backwards but quickly caught her breath, regained her footing and attempted another attack. Her hits were sloppy, she wasn’t focused on strategy or proper form.
“Just hit me, Captain. You know I deserve it”, she said with frustration.
Rex deflected another blow. What was she going on about?
“I got them killed. Your brothers are dead because of me. Just hit me!”, she screamed as she raised her fist to try another hit at his chest which he dodged.
Rex’s eyes went wide at the realisation of why she was doing this. The anger he saw on her face was not directed at him. She tried another furious attack, getting close enough for Rex to notice there were tears in her eyes. Her mental state was not well at all, he could tell.
“General, stop”, the Captain tried to say between her punches.
She either didn’t hear him or didn’t want to listen. Her hits were still coming fast but they were imprecise and easy to dodge. After stepping to the side to avoid a punch, Rex managed to get behind her and wrap his arms around her torso, pinning her arms to her own body and keeping her from moving.
“You need to stop”, he said softly, trying to calm her down.
“Get off me”, she screamed as she squirmed in his grasp, trying to free herself. She felt tears running down her face and briefly wondered when she had started crying. She kept trying to move, letting out frustrated grunts through gritted teeth.
“Everybody out!”, Rex’s authoritative voice ordered. His head turned towards the bewildered group, making eye contact with Echo and Kix, who immediately followed his orders and ushered the others to the exit.
As the door slid closed, Lexie finally managed to get free from Rex’s arms, falling to her knees on the mat. She was hyperventilating and sobbing. Her hand clawed at the fabric over her sternum, she couldn’t breathe. She had embarrassed herself again, this time in front of even more troopers. Shame and guilt were clouding her mind, all she could feel was that horrible, cold feeling of death. She wasn’t in a training room anymore, she was back on that battlefield, she swore she could even hear the blasterfire and the screams from injured troopers.
“I should’ve listened to you. I should’ve kriffin’ listened”, she said between sobs.
“Lexie, I need you to breathe, nice and slow”, Rex said after kneeling down next to her. Her name slipped from his tongue so naturally, she didn’t even register the impropriety of a clone captain addressing his general so familiarly.
His hand reached her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. Lexie’s initial impulse was to jerk away from his touch but for an unknown reason stopped herself. Instead she turned towards him and did something even she was surprised at. Her head burrowed into the crook of Rex’s neck as she kept sobbing, and her hands rested on his chest, fingers softly gripping at the fabric of his blacks.
Rex was shocked for a moment, unsure of what to do. This felt too intimate, he definitely never had a superior officer cry on his shoulder before. But she was so distraught, so vulnerable, all he wanted to do was help her. He wrapped his arms around her, his right hand gently cradling the back of her head.
“You’re ok, I got you”, he said softly.
Lexie cried for a while, letting out all the anguish she had been feeling ever since the disastrous mission. But it wasn’t just that; she realised she was finally letting out every single feeling she had supressed since waking up from the coma. All the anger at her former master, all the frustration at her recovery and at the disconnection she felt to the Force, and all the fear and anxiety that resulted from her rushed knighting.
Every now and then she would manage to mumble “I’m so sorry” or “why didn’t I listen to you?” between sobs and Rex would assure her that everything will be ok. He didn’t know what else to say, this situation was all new to him, but after some time it seemed to be working. Lexie’s sobs subsided, she wasn’t shaking so much anymore, and her breaths were becoming more even.
For the first time in days she felt completely safe. She liked the way his strong arms felt around her body, his grip around her so firm, yet so gentle, warmth emanating from his torso onto hers. And the smell of his skin, the mixture of soap and a little sweat, it was intoxicating; she thought she could stay like that for hours. His embrace felt so safe and familiar.
Maker what am I doing? Having calmed down, she suddenly became hyperaware of the position she was in. How had she let this happen? She had completely broken down in front of him, she had thrown herself into his arms, she had allowed him to hold her while she cried. Master al’Prani would be livid. As much as she wanted to remain in his arms she pulled away abruptly, wiping her face with her hands.
“I’m sorry”, she said quietly.
“General, when’s the last time you slept?”, he asked.
“Umm… that would be before I got all those men killed”, she answered, voice cracking as she struggled to not start crying all over again.
Rex had thought that was the case. He berated himself internally for not noticing it earlier. He had seen it in a few of his brothers before. They were engineered to withstand the stress of combat yes, but on rare occasions one of them would break down, especially after a particularly harrowing mission. Rex felt bad now for thinking her heartless. He needed to make sure she got some sleep, but before that he needed to make sure she ate something. If she hadn’t been sleeping, it’s very unlikely she’s been eating properly.
He got up from the floor and extended a hand towards her. Lexie was reluctant but she accepted it, allowing the Captain to help her up. She finally looked into his eyes again. They were looking at her with so much kindness and understanding. I don’t deserve this. She averted her gaze to the floor, fingernails digging into the skin of her arms after crossing them over her chest.
“Come on, let’s get some food, Sir”, Rex said.
The Captain fastened the pieces of his upper armor back on and picked up his helmet from the corner of the training room. Lexie slipped back into her blouse and followed him silently through the corridors and to the mess hall. Her mind was telling her that she should probably just leave, be alone, not prolong her embarrassment, but she felt so safe in his presence, she didn’t want that to end.
She was relieved to see that the mess was almost empty, most of the men were probably out at the 79s or on night duty. Rex walked to a table the farthest away from the few clones that were having their dinner and stopped to address his general.
“Sit down, Sir, I’ll go get us something to eat”, he placed his helmet on the table.
“I… uh… I should come with you. I don’t eat meat so I can’t just have whatever”, she said, feeling bad at the imposition.
Rex was surprised by that; he didn’t really understand why someone would choose to restrict their diet, but it wasn’t his place to judge. Thinking more about it, he and his brothers didn’t actually have a choice, they had to eat whatever meals the GAR supplied for them, which were specifically crafted in order to provide the necessary amount of nutrition, without much thought for variety.
“I’m sure I can find something you can have. Just sit down, Sir”, he said, and left after receiving a nod from Lexie and watching her take a seat on the bench.
Alone with her thoughts, Lexie replayed the events of the evening in her mind. She had really made a fool of herself. Again. This was worse than getting stunned during that first training exercise. What must those men think about her? She had acted like an insane person, screaming at Rex to hit her; Maker this was a low point. She cringed as she remembered calling him a coward, what in the galaxy had possessed her to do that? She had been absentmindedly pulling at the skin around her fingernails and felt a small, sharp sting. She had ripped a little too much skin and a bit of blood was visible on her left thumb. She should really stop doing that.
She moved her focus to Rex’s helmet on the table in front of her. Her right hand reached for it, turning it so the visor faced her, fingers slowly gliding over the tally marks scratched into the plastoid. She wondered what they stood for. Battles won maybe? Her eyes moved to the design painted above his visor, her fingers lightly tracing the blue paint of the eye-like drawing.
Lexie quickly pulled her hand away from the helmet as Rex set a tray down on the table. She didn’t realise he had returned. “Sorry”, she mumbled.
“It’s alright, General.”, he said, a trace of a smile on his lips. He placed a bowl of soup in front of her. “Root vegetables soup, best option they had”, he informed her, then sat down across from her with his own bowl in front of him.
She didn’t feel hungry, but she had not actually eaten that day, except for a small pastry she counted as breakfast. She took a sip of the warm liquid in the bowl; it tasted bland, the GAR should really start using some seasoning in the food they are serving these men. Her gaze drifted back on the helmet.
“You can ask me about it if you want Sir, I don’t mind”, Rex broke the silence they were sat in.
“Alright. Well… what does it represent, the drawing?”, she asked after a pause.
“Jaig eyes. It’s a Mandalorian symbol of honour. It’s awarded to soldiers in recognition of notable acts of bravery. I received them after the Battle of Geonosis from one of the Mandalorian trainers back on Kamino”.
Notable acts of bravery, Lexie repeated the words in her head. She let out a breath as she struggled to gather the words she wanted to say. “Captain… I-I need to apologise to you… for that hut'uun comment. I didn’t actually mean it”. She looked at him and saw how he briefly clenched his jaw, but did not say anything in response. “And I… I need you to know how deeply sorry I am for the way I spoke to you on Erosh-4, and for not listening-”
“General”, he cut her off, noticing that she was on the verge of tears again. “You made a mistake, it happens. You are not the first commanding officer to make a bad call and come out of a mission with more casualties than necessary, and you have to stop acting like you are. It has happened to me, it has recently happened to Commander Tano, and it has even happened to General Skywalker. Yes, it is a heavy burden that you carry with you, but you cannot let it break you, Sir. All you can do is learn from it and try to not repeat the same mistake”.
“I don’t think I should ever be making any sort of calls again. I’m… I should not be a general”. She couldn’t believe she had said those words aloud, but there was something about Rex, something that made her trust him and feel like she could actually confide in him.
“Sir, you are a Jedi Knight, you’re more than capab-”, he tried to reassure her.
“A Jedi Knight?”, she interrupted him. “How can I be a Knight if I don’t even remember passing the Trials”, she said with a nervous laugh. “Because I don’t, I really don’t. I don’t know what the fuck happened on Geonosis, I can’t remember”.
“You don’t remember anything?”, he asked with a shocked expression.
“Some bits and pieces, but nothing coherent. Or, well…”, she paused. Should she really be telling him all this? Will he report her to the Council, inform them of how she’s kept important information about her recovery from them? She looked into his eyes taking in their beautiful amber colour. For some reason she really felt like she could trust him. What the hell, I’ve said this much already.
“I think I remembered something the other day, but I... I’m not sure if it actually happened or if it was a dream. It was the moment my master left me there, he said some horrible things about… about you all. He told me to leave with him but I-I couldn’t, it wasn’t right, I didn’t agree with what he said at all, I know everyone thinks I did but I really didn’t, I-I don’t think that about clones”, she paused and took a breath, she was rambling, letting her emotions get the better of her again. She had to centre herself.
“Anyway, he just left me there with a squad of clone troopers waiting for me to take command, and I was panicking and some random clone had to-”, she abruptly stopped talking and her eyebrows furrowed.
She had been picturing the dream in her head as she talked when all of a sudden her mind did something strange. Instead of the shiny new armor the clone was wearing in her dream she saw Rex’s armor, his blue markings, kama and pauldron, Jaig eyes on the helmet and blond, short hair under it. The words that clone had said to calm her down rang in her head. Lexie, I need you to breath, nice and slow. Rex had said the same exact words to her just a little while ago.
She looked across the table at the Captain, one side of his mouth was raised in a small smile. She knew that smile. “Was that…?”, she tried to ask.
“That was me, General”, he said with a nod.
It finally made sense. That nagging feeling in the back of her mind ever since Anakin introduced him to her, the way he had greeted her, genuinely happy to see her, and the familiar warmth of his Force signature. She knew him, her mind had been trying to tell her that she’d met him before. Lexie smiled before she could stop it. She finally understood why she felt such a connection with him, why his presence felt so safe. He was the first clone trooper she’d ever talked to. And it was his kind eyes that had calmed her down and reassured her she could lead. That must be why he defended her in front of Anakin, and why he showed her so much kindness. He actually was on her side, and had been since the beginning.
“So trust me when I say you are more than capable of being a good leader. You’ve done it before, and you’ve done it well”, he finished the thought that she interrupted before.
Lexie still wasn’t sure she believed him, but realised she could finally get some answers. Her mood had changed, she was more at ease. “Will you tell me what happened, please? The moron who filled in the mission report wrote the driest shit I’ve read in my entire life, so kriffin’ generic, it told me nothing about what actually happened to me”.
Rex let out a small laugh. “That was also me, Sir. I was the squad leader so I wrote the generic mission report”.
“Oh”, was all she could mutter, embarrassment engulfing her mind. Great going, first you call him a coward, now a moron. “Well I hope you have improved your writing style since then”, she might as well double down.
“It’s probably the same, Sir”, he replied with an amused voice.
“I thought I asked you to call me Lexie, I actually remember that bit”, she said after she took another sip of the soup in front of her.
“I’m not sure I can anymore. The situation was different on Geonosis. You are a general now, Sir”, he replied.
“Technically I could just order you to do it”, she said in a teasing tone, earning a look from the Captain. “We’re not on a mission or on the battlefield, that’s all I’m saying, Captain”.
He looked at her, pondering her words. It would still break protocol, but he has broken it before. “I’ll think about it. But if I use your name then you have to use mine”.
“I think I could manage that, Rex”, she said with a small smile.
They sat in silence for a bit, finishing their meals. Lexie felt so at ease being near him, his presence had a soothing effect on her anxious mind. But she couldn’t enjoy it forever.
“I need to remember what happened. Will you help me? Tell me what I did after Master al’Prani left?”, she asked.
“Do you want to do this tonight? I think you should get some sleep first”, he said with concern.
“I have to remember, Rex. I’ve been feeling like such a fraud, like I don’t deserve to be a Knight. It’s why I… why I was so worried about how it would look t-to follow your advice. I just… I need to remember”, she admitted to him.
“Alright... Well, you were worried and needed some reassurance before you took command of the squad, you said you remember that part”, he looked at her for confirmation and she nodded. “We were three klicks away from the Geonosian Command Center that Count Dooku had retreated to and the Council had ordered us to act as reinforcements for Generals Skywalker and Kenobi, and so you started leading us there. As we approached the rock formation, droid defensive started to get heavier but we managed to push through. However, when we reached the Command Center and tried to enter through the lower tunnels a defoliator tank fired at us. You used the Force to push me and the other clones out of harm’s way but you got caught in the rockslide”, he stopped, scanning her face for her reaction.
Lexie felt numb as she listened to him, a few images flashing in her mind as Rex was describing the events of the battle. She remembered running by his side, slicing through droids, metal melting under her yellow sabers, but she still couldn’t remember being caught in the blast. “What happened after, how did I survive?”
“I called for a medevac and we dug you out from under the rubble. You were badly injured, barely conscious. I then… uh… I carried you to the gunship and you were rushed to a cruiser for immediate medical attention”, Rex concluded. There was more he could say but it didn’t feel like the right time.
“Thank you, Rex. It seems I owe you my life”, she said after a long pause.
“I was only returning the favour. I would probably be dead if you hadn’t pushed me away from the tunnel entrance. Did you remember anything?”, he asked.
“A few more bits and pieces”, she said before she yawned.
“You need sleep, Lexie”, he said in a caring tone.
“I know but… I won’t be able to sleep. Ever since Erosh-4, I-I don’t feel safe when I’m alone”, she admitted quietly.
Rex was silent for a minute, contemplating an idea. He then got up and motioned for Lexie to follow him. They walked silently to her private room, she was too exhausted to make any more conversation. Upon reaching it, she was surprised to see him stepping inside after her. She watched as he placed his helmet on the desk, then moved the chair from under there, placing it against the wall of the refresher and next to the head of the bed. She gave him a puzzled look.
“I’ll keep watch while you sleep. No one can come into the room and sneak up on you this way. You’ll be safe”, he explained.
She opened her mouth to protest but closed it the next second. She was so tired and she did feel completely safe with him around. She picked up her nightshirt and went in the refresher to get changed and to take her makeup off.
When she came out, Rex was already sat on the chair. He looked at her as she got into bed and felt a blush warm his face. The pink, short-sleeved nightshirt was only covering down half her thighs. Drawings of colourful little tooka cats decorated the fabric. Rex thought she looked… cute. He averted his eyes from her, reprimanding himself internally. That was not an appropriate thought to have about his general.
Lexie did not notice his reaction; she was too tired and the light in the room was dimmed. She pushed away the thought of what al’Prani would say if he knew she was allowing a clone to watch over her as she slept. She could regret it in the morning, right now all she wanted was to close her eyes and fall asleep.
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11-asher-11 · 22 days ago
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Alright guys, serious post.
i saw a post some time ago saying that being a shifter and being depressed is the worst combo and as someone who is in this too i wanted to put down some thoughts.
First, this is NOT an attack to the person who made the post that obviously i don't even know. Is just a personal observation on MY feelings and experience.
That it is a bad combo? in a way yes ofc, depression is not good. Is not easy to be depressed and it sucks so much. Both for shifting journey both in general.
I hate the feeling of constantly thinking i'm doing something wrong, that my life will be always shit and nothing will go right.
That here i will get just a terrible life with always something missing. But shifting made it better.
But y'all know what? shifting also made me love this place. Love little things and get more friends.
Permashifting is not bad as ppl make it seems. Sure u still live here but u can manifest how your "clone" will act (like, u want them to permashift too?? just shift around?? just enjoy life?? Yes. you can) or just ignore it. Ofc there will be a reality where you're "clone" won't follow your manifestation but that's not bcs of you. It's bcs there are INFINITE realities. Ofc a reality like that already exist.
Shifting can be a part of your life and even a big one. For some ppl is a hobby, for some is a life saving and for some is something unexplainable. But guess what? there's no right way.
There's no universal experience. For some ppl the combo depressed and shifting is terrible. For some is perfect for make depression better. For some is another thing. And it's fine.
Everyone is different. Never based your like on someone else.
Ofc the girl was right! first bcs it was her experience. Second bcs u should NOT neglect yourself here. Sure it's fine love your dr more, permashift and all. But neglect no. Except ofc some terrible situation, but remember. Nothing you will do/done is wrong unless you think so in your shifting journey.
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i'm so sleepy lately btw 😭
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