#...to have friends be real friends and show them friendly and nice to each other is more complex...'

[multiheadcanons]

EVERYONE LOVES ME!

aka: my relations with the red team!

scout: that’s my resident dumbass right there. i love that stupid guy. i would probably flirt with scout without wanting anything, and that flirting would promptly stop when he says something egregiously crass, and then i have to walk away from him or decide he needs to get his ass beat. scout would probably also be the only merc who would want to hang out with me on regular occasions, though i would think that’s less because we’re alike and more because we are close in age. though i do think our energy levels are similar. we get into roast battles and i cry to make him feel bad.

soldier: soldier almost frightens me. but he’s a few fries short of a happy meal, so really he’s a man i would treat very gently. it would almost piss him off. soldier is a guy i don’t see really going out of his way to interact with me. i am visibly feminine, and i am five feet tall, and i am black. there is nothing he could really get from me that he would want. except maybe an argument. i would also pull out the “my mom is a veteran and fought in war” card on soldier every possible chance i get. its one of my favorite things to do. my mother did not bloody her hands in war for soldier of all men to tell me what i can and can’t do. if i want to walk around that base ass naked my mother fought for my right to do that. and if anyone has an issue with it, i’m happy to follow in my mother’s bloodied boot prints. soldier would respect me after i pull it out. frankly soldier would respect me as a vagina owner walking around with all that shit out around men. that takes big balls, he can see mine got put on my chest.

pyro: pyro actually freaks me out. pyro wouldn’t know they freak me out, because i would never deny pyro a single thing they may want. they think we’re besties. and technically, we are friends! we hang out, we talk every once in a while, sometimes i can ask them to do small things for me, and we get a little carried away, and it’s nice, sometimes! but we both have an affinity for the flame. and really shouldn’t be in the same room for long. we’re just a little too… similar. pyro is the one i tell my deepest darkest secrets to while we color on the floor and pretend it never got said. pyro ends up knowing about my worst moments and never seeing them. i also gush to pyro about the doctor. sometimes it grates their nerves. im hanging out with them; the doctor is in the infirmary. go there.

demo: that’s my drinking buddy. tavish intimidates me, a little. to the point that tavish would have to approach me first. and once he did, we would be just fine with each other. he is just so warm; and personable, and i am quite an oddball. he likes oddballs. and i like him! it is rare we are a quiet pair together, though he does most of the talking. my knowledge is so specialized that i have to beat him to coming up with a topic that i can infodump on. and when i do, we get along even better. he’s invested when i have something to say, or educate, or ponder on; he eats it up! because oftentimes, i am pretty stupid. at least, our wheelhouses of knowledge rarely overlap. demo is also one of the few mercs i would show my songs to, but that goes for all the defense boys! they’re just the ones who are closer to my knowledge of music. we’d all have a good time, that’s why we’re the acapella group!

heavy: heavy would absolutely have to approach me first. i would not willingly go fuck with him unless he told me point blank where we stand. and i wouldn’t have any standing with him for a minimum of a year. then he comes with small favors. he needs me to grab something, squeeze in somewhere he can’t fit, run this to the infirmary. and the more i oblige, the kinder he gets. the more open we are with each other, the more open we’re willing to be. eventually we’re having real conversations. about art, about responsibilities, and about family! we become what could only be called good allies on friendly terms.

engineer: see, i would stay away from engineer. i know him. i know men like him. and i’ll be nice, i’ll be cordial, if he approaches i will do my best to not put a distaste in his mouth, and this might work. as long as i am respectful, he and i should not have any issues. but i’ve seen this film before. it will take about three months of infrequent interactions with the texan before the distaste in my mouth for him is solidified. and then i reach an impasse. do i continue to play along and keep heat off me, or do i confront him about my distaste under the temporary protection of all of his time being spoken for. decisions, decisions. all distaste is put at the door during acapella practice. there are no enemies in music.

medic: you would have to forcibly drag me away from him. i have zip tied myself to his medigun and have stolen at least two pairs of his boots. alright, with the jokes out of the way, our interactions would be so few and far between at the beginning he would ponder if i was a ghost he was hallucinating until i brought him something on an errand run for heavy. i would not be able to bring myself to speak to him unless he was directly referring to me. and when he does refer to me, even for a simple thank you, i am making heavy eye contact. frankly, it’s not safe for me to look anywhere else. and every kind word will get a dopey smile, and i quickly take my leave. medic would intimidate me into silence. eventually there will come a day where he asks me to stay. not for anything nefarious, he’s just curious on what makes me tick. he will ask me to get on the table. and i will happily oblige him in that request. it may be at that point he realizes that my tender feelings for him are a useful tool when he needs an extra body, or an extra set of hands. because i would never say no.

sniper: i would hardly know sniper existed unless i make it to month six unscathed. i would hear aussie thrown around— mainly by scout— and halfass assume he meant to say autistic. then he comes around for his twice a year appearance. he would frighten me, initially. he’s obscenely tall and quiet. but i’m an insomniac, and that man gets four hours of sleep on a good day. we are more likely to interact and intersect in the night hours. passing each other in silence inside the base, or inadvertently finding each other outside at night, sparing no more than a look of acknowledgment. its more likely he finds me than i find him. the building of our relationship would be slow, and very quiet. and a day will come where, out of seemingly nowhere, we are having full conversation. it’s awkward, and choppy, and i will laugh out an apology for my poor socialization skills. he’ll pat my shoulder and tell me not to worry about it. i’m good people, regardless.

spy: i would never know spy existed and it would be best if he only assumed i was a mass hallucination of the team. i don’t think spy would like me, specifically. i am loud, and i am short, and i went to school for theatre, so i’m useless in any way he might want me. except for bait. i don’t want to join him on a mission to be bait. i don’t trust he would come to my aid if i needed him to. before spy found out about my existence, or at least— before he decides to do something about my existence, i’d put most of my time into becoming pyro’s friend for protection. particularly for the support classes, my best case scenario is having pyro’s favor in one pocket and heavy’s in the other. one of them will come to my aid if i call them, and the other holds so much societal influence and responsibility within the team that if i’m seen as an asset to him, i’m effectively marked safe from anyone else who may want me gone. and i wouldn’t know if spy would even care enough to get me out of there. so i need to make sure enough people would want me to stay, because i’m not willing to find out. i wouldn’t be able to put a face to the name until about eighteen months in. if he doesn’t decide to kill me, that will be when he makes his base appearance.

[reanimatedgh0ul]

maybe this is just me but ilana and lance's relationship to me has always felt less like siblings moreso two people who became friends and each other's found family

[urlocalmultigroupfan]

ɪᴛꜱ ɴɪᴄᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴘᴛ 2 ໑ ׄ ۪ ݁ ⑅ (방찬)

pairing: christopher bahng x fem!reader, strangers to friends to lovers

summary: based off of its nice to have a friend by taylor swift

tags/warnings: chris is literally feeding a squirrel at the beginning, hes extroverted, reader is introverted, not proofread,

a/n: bye its giving my fine shyt

pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 ??

Friendship with Chan sneaks up on you.

You don’t mark the moment you go from strangers to something else—it just happens quietly, like a soft song playing under a conversation. One day he’s the boy who calls your name across the quad. The next, he’s the one sitting beside you every Thursday afternoon like it’s tradition.

You’ve never said it out loud. You never needed to.

You’re friends now. That much is clear.

You know this because he always saves you a seat at the long table in the student center, even when he’s surrounded by his louder friends. You know this because he makes playlists and titles them things like “for rainy library days 🌧️” and sends them to you without saying a word.

You know because he texts you the night before a group project is due—not to ask for help, but just to check in.

hey, you good? just felt like asking :) also reminder: hydrate

You smile at your phone, every time.

You never tell him that no one really checks in on you like that. You don’t have to. He somehow knows.

When you're with him, you're a quieter version of yourself—but it never feels like too little.

Chan is bright, but never blinding.

He talks easily, laughs often, and never tries to fill your silences with noise. He’s the kind of extrovert who invites you into the light but never yanks you from the shadows.

You think that’s rare.

You think he’s rare.

Which is probably why you’ve started noticing the little things.

Like how he tugs the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands when he’s tired. Or how he taps a beat on his thigh when he’s thinking. Or how he smiles at you a little differently than he does at anyone else.

You don’t let yourself read into it too much.

But sometimes, when the sun hits his hair just right and he calls you Snowbird in that soft, teasing voice—you do.

It’s Friday afternoon when he shows up at your dorm with a bag of snacks and a look of triumph.

“We’re watching a movie,” he announces. “It’s friendship law.”

You raise a brow, leaning on your doorframe. “That a real law?”

“Definitely. Article three, paragraph seven. ‘Friends must watch at least one feel-good movie per week or suffer the consequences of emotional repression.’”

You stare.

He grins.

“…Fine,” you mumble, pretending to sigh.

He follows you in, already opening the chips.

You sit on the floor with pillows. The laptop is balanced on an upside-down laundry basket. It’s not fancy, but it’s warm. Familiar. Safe.

You don’t talk much during the movie, but you share glances at the funny lines. He snorts soda up his nose once and spends the next three minutes apologizing dramatically while you try not to choke on your laughter.

And then, somewhere near the end—your hands touch in the popcorn bowl.

Neither of you pulls away.

You walk with him the next morning.

Not because you planned to. You just happened to be leaving at the same time.

You tell yourself that, anyway.

The air is cool but not cold. The sky is pale and wide. You both linger near the edge of the quad, standing under the early bloom of a dogwood tree.

“You’ve got something,” he says, reaching out.

Your breath catches.

He brushes a petal from your hair. His fingers linger—just barely—at your temple. Then drop.

“There.” His voice is soft. Smiling.

You look away before you melt.

You tell yourself he’s just being friendly.

That’s what friends do. They check in. They share playlists. They brush petals out of each other’s hair.

Right?

But then you catch the way he looks at you when you’re not watching. Like he’s memorizing something.

You hear the way his voice changes when he says your name. Like it matters more than the rest of the sentence.

And once, when you're both at the café and he sees someone flirting with you from across the room—his hand finds the small of your back. Light. Protective. Wordless.

It stays there for a second too long.

So maybe…

Maybe it’s not just you.

One rainy afternoon, you both end up at the art building.

You’re there to kill time. He’s there to return a borrowed ukulele. Somehow, you both stay.

The music room is empty, warm with leftover echoes.

He sits at the baby grand in the corner, fingers testing chords. You watch from a stool near the door, curled in your hoodie.

“Wanna hear something I wrote?” he asks, not turning.

You nod before you realize he can’t see you. But he plays anyway.

It’s soft. Pretty. Unfinished, but thoughtful.

When it ends, you don’t say anything right away.

Then, quietly: “That was beautiful.”

He turns, surprised.

And when he sees your expression—earnest, a little shy—he blushes.

He actually blushes.

You store that moment somewhere deep in your chest, behind your ribs, where soft things go to stay warm.

That night, as you sit on your bed with your journal open and your heart full, you find yourself writing it down.

Chris’s song. Soft chords. Quiet courage. He blushes when I say what I mean.

You don’t know what this is between you yet.

But it feels like something.

And you think—maybe he feels it too.

Chan is in trouble.

Not real trouble—he’s not about to flunk out or get arrested or crash a car or anything—but emotional trouble.

The soft, slow, creeping kind.

The Oh no, I think I really like my friend kind.

He’s not sure when it happened. Somewhere between that snowy day with the squirrel and the third time you shared a croissant without asking. Somewhere between the first time he made you laugh and the first time you leaned into his side just slightly when it got cold.

He’s always liked your quiet.

Not the awkward kind—just…peaceful. Steady. Like you listen before you speak. Like your world is built on stillness and sharp observations.

He noticed it the first time you said his name like it meant something.

Now he wants to hear it all the time.

Chan’s not smooth, not really. He jokes a lot. Fills the space. Hopes you don’t notice the way he watches you from across the room when you’re not looking.

He tells himself he’s being smart by not saying anything.

Why risk it? You’re close. You trust him. He gets to know you in a way most people don’t.

But sometimes, when you smile at him like he’s made your day a little better…

It feels a lot like falling.

He’s pretty sure he already has.

hope you enjoyed <33

todays playlist...

hotline bling by drake, laplace's angels by will wood, virtual angel by artms, best friend by doja cat and saweetie, bite by mad tsai, super smash bros by yung gravy and bbno$, ssick by stray kids, if i can't have you by shawn mendes, blind spot by stray kids, dimple by bts, polaroid love by enhypen, crazy by le sserafim, beggin by maneskin, sweetest pie by megan thee stallion and dua lipa

*bold is explicit*

taglist: @rockstarkkami @sirloncelot-of-bananas @jisunggy @me-on-a-archive @hyunjiiza @hyuneskkami @highway-143 @hvseunq143 @chimmyn0chu @sadeeeeee @qwonyoung23 @jesuisstay

series/perm taglist is open! please comment/send an ask/dm if you would like to be added <3

[dcxdpdabbles]

Not a request or ask but just a thought dump that a lot of people have amity park placed in the midwest n stuff which is cool, but then they don't give Danny those midwestern behaviors (i am also guilty of this as a midwesterner). I just think it would add a ton of comedy to the situation. Because being from a small city in the midwest with little nightlife and going into a densely populated city in the east coast that feels damn near always awake is like a major change.

Being from the midwest, it's a lot of polite kindness and greeting with big smiles, handshakes, and sometimes side hugs. Its lengthy hellos and even longer goodbyes as you slowly by slowly creep towards the door to leave but ur host just keeps bringing up 1 more thing they just *have* to tell you about. Its saying 'ope sorry' when bumping into someone when its not even ur fault. (I am gonna be completely real, i never even realized I said ope, sorry i just thought it was a joke others had for ppl in the midwest but then I listened to myself and was slack-jawed in horror.)

Its saying 'yall' unironically, even when referring to 1 person. The kindness to go the extra mile for people some times and becoming close friends with coworkers because you dont do anything else with ur life bc its the midwest.

Idk, i just think it would be funny, especially since the majority of the batfam were raised in gotham (typically placed in new jersey) and the difference in accents would most certainly be a giveaway that danny is NOT from gotham. And if his accent didnt give him away then the way he acts with such open kindness and wide smiles would most DEFINITELY give him away that he is NOT a Gotham native. And that makes me seriously giggle. Because in a city that is dealing with new rouges and the typical terrors, being used to rough faces and sneers, the most suspicious ones are the happy ones with wide smiles and open demeanors. And that is why danny gets singled out, not because he was caught going ghost, not because he was found bleeding ectoplasm, not even because of his mad scientist heritage and lack of self preservation, its because hes So Damn Nice And Smiley It Just Cant Be Real.

(sorry this got so long ive just been wanting to share my thoughts with someone and you seemed like a good fit lmao)

I love fics that explore this! Especially when the people of Gotham freak out because only the Joker's men or the people on something smile that wide at strangers.

Danny would consider it rude if people are always rushing, like he's used to people at checkout telling each other short stories, like their grandson graduating. Their daughter is getting married, or hey, I remember that show! - Nothing more than a minute or two, but people in the city don't do that.

They think he's trying to steal or something, because why is he trying to distract them at work? Why is he acting so friendly? It's super suspicious.

(Or something like that because I'm southwestern and that's how some tourists act when they come to my little rural areas lol)

[feeder86]

The Neighbor's Boy

“So, do you want to tell us what the fuck is going on?” laughed Martin as Nick’s new boyfriend headed away to the bathroom.

Nick smirked and sat back in the chair, filling his broad, muscular chest with air and looking around at all the chubby boys’ expressions. “What?” he teased, pretending not to know what they were all so surprised about. “Duncan’s a nice guy.”

“But you don’t date nice guys,” Martin countered. “In order to date nice guys, you need to be a nice guy yourself.”

“Ouch!” Nick chuckled, enjoying his bad boy status with the guys. Despite his kind eyes and pretty face, Nick was never without an ulterior motive. “That hurt!” he lied, looking around and seeing even the guy behind the bar checking him out. “I’ll have you know that lots of people think I’m a very ‘nice’ person!”

“That’s because they don’t know you like we do,” Ben contributed, looking around at all of the other chubs in their circle. “And I bet sweet little Duncan doesn’t even know you’re a feeder, does he?”

Nick raised an eyebrow and smiled. “Of course he doesn’t.”

The chubs all looked at each other disapprovingly, despite the kinky thrill they secretly felt. Each one of them owed a good few pounds of their own blubbery physiques to Nick and his incredible ability to arouse them whilst they ate for him; the best and most skilled feeder they had ever come across. “You’re not going to fatten up him are you?” Martin asked. “Not without him knowing?”

“I’ve already started,” Nick laughed. “I got seven thousand calories in him the other day and he barely even noticed.”

“Nick!” Ben sighed. “That’s not cool!”

“I am what I am!” Nick sniggered unapologetically. “I see a little skinny shit like Duncan and my dick tells me I’ve got to feed him until he’s got some decent tits and a proper double chin on him!”

“Why him, though?” Ian asked. “He seems so sweet and innocent.”

Nick shrugged. “My parents were trying to set me up, saying they were sick of all the ‘mysterious guys’ I seemed to date,” he laughed. “Duncan’s family lived on my parents’ street and he’s just come back from college. I remember him as the little gay kid that used to stare out of the window whenever I was mowing my parents’ lawn shirtless at the end of high school,” he smirked, having been the focus on many sexual fantasies for several years now. “I didn’t have much to do with Duncan back then. He’s a couple of years younger than me. But Duncan’s dad was the fattest guy on our street, so of course I had a crush on him growing up. Now his mom is quite friendly with my mom and they’re trying their best to get us together.” he laughed at the idea. These fat boys knew him best in the whole world. Anyone with a real sense of who Nick really was would keep their handsome sons far away from him. “I thought dating Duncan would be a great opportunity to show my parents that they need to keep their noses out of my love life.”

“So, you’re dating him and secretly fattening him up to teach your parents a lesson about interfering?” Martin asked, exasperated.

“Pretty much,” Nick nodded. “Once they see the boy sprouting a little gut, they’ll soon realise the mistake they’ve made. It won’t take any of them long to work out who was responsible. I am a feeder after all…,” he whispered, spotting Duncan making his way back from the bathroom and sitting back up again. “That sounds incredible!” Nick lamented, as if they had been discussing something completely different the entire time.

“What does?” Duncan asked curiously, assuming that the boys were in the middle of a riveting conversation.

“Martin was just saying about this amazing donut place we need to try out later,” Nick lied. 

“Oh, yeah?” Duncan smiled over at Martin. “Sounds good. I love donuts.”

The boys all looked at each other guiltily, none of them willing to sound the alarm bells to Nick’s new lover; now all equally complicit in the whole wicked business.

“Your friends are so great,” Duncan smiled, getting into the back of the cab whilst holding the large box of donuts Nick had bought him.

“And they really liked you,” Nick smiled, taking the box from him and ripping it open for Duncan to try one. 

“They’re not at all how I imagined,” Duncan replied, nibbling on one without a second thought. “I remember you always hung out with the jock crowd in high school.”

Nick smirked to himself. Clearly Duncan hadn’t even recognised Martin as being one of those high school jocks he used to hang out with; now a full one hundred and sixty pounds fatter than in those days, thanks to him. “I choose my friends based upon how fun they are, rather than how they look,” he lied innocently, already picking up and handling Duncan’s next donut.

“I really like that about you,” Duncan smiled. “You’re so perfect,” he whispered, before the pair kissed gently.

Nick stroked his lover’s hair as the third and fourth donuts mindlessly disappeared down Duncan’s throat during their short journey back to his place. Duncan was the son of a fatty alright. That greed was inside there, waiting to be enabled. “Perhaps…” he teased, closing the lid on the donut box, “you could eat the rest of these off my dick when we get back?”

Duncan nodded keenly. Nick had started introducing food into their foreplay last week and it had gone down well ever since. It was so obvious that Dunan had been fantasising about being with Nick since he was a teenager and first realised he was gay. It was almost pathetically simple to make him climax and he’d slipped into a more submissive role in the bedroom with ease. 

The naive boy kissed his manipulative lover, not even realising that the guy was adding up all his calories and hoping that today could be a new record.

Over the next few weeks, Duncan became a sucker for the romance: the hand holding, Nick sitting him on his knee and holding him prtotectively around the waist. The guy’s friends thought that Nick was the sweetest man on Earth; his mother made up that Duncan had found someone so openly affectionate. It all helped to mask the gradual softening that was happening all over Duncan’s body; the glutes swelling just a little more each time Nick ploughed his dick between them.

“You got your protein shake?” Nick asked as the pair of them headed off to the gym, where Duncan would spend the majority of his time spotting Nick on the weights and lifting the bare minimum himself. Yet, he would still flush down Nick’s bespoke shake, filled with creams, oils and powders for a truly staggering daily calorie overdose.

Duncan nodded. He’d never been in such a thrilling relationship as this; never experienced a kinky fuck in the cubicles after a workout at the gym, nor been lavished with such open affection in any of his previous romances. The love, the pampering, the endless sex acting as the perfect smoke screen for what was actually happening beneath the surface. Duncan simply threw the shake into his gym bag and then followed his lover out without a second thought.

Dating Duncan was having its advantages. Having parents who were quietly very comfortable had always given Nick a fair amount of entitlement. However, despite never going without as he was growing up, his parents had given him a large dose of tough love once he left college. The easy line of credit had been cut off and Nick’s parents had decided he needed to make it on his own in order to learn the true value of things. Now their hard approach seemed to be easing, given how pleased they were to see him dating someone they approved of so much. In the last month alone, they had thrown a whole heap of cash at repairs for the sports car they had bought Nick for his twenty-first, as well as transferring plenty of money to pay for a romantic getaway in the mountains. The purse strings were well and truly opened again.

“Do you think I’ve put on weight?” Dunan asked, rubbing his stomach in the mirror one evening as he got up to get a glass of water.

Nick managed to keep a straight face. The answer was more than obvious from the direction he was looking: doughy glutes, swollen thighs and budding love-handles; Duncan was well and truly morphing into a chub. “Of course,” Nick replied. “Your shoulders look much bigger after all those workouts,” he lied.

“No, not that,” Duncan shot back, studying his stomach and pinching a little. “Do you think I���m getting fat?”

Nick got up and slipped off his underwear. He’d been considering how best to answer this question for some time. “Why don’t I take a look?” he smiled teasingly, letting his hardness press between Duncan’s butt cheeks; its second home. “Mmm, yes!” he moaned. “There’s definitely an improvement back here,” he whispered.

“An improvement?” Duncan asked in surprise.

“Of course!” Nick whispered. “You like getting fucked, right?” 

Duncan nodded; his own dick starting to stiffen as his muscular boyfriend started to slap lubricant between his cheeks.

“Well, guys like me always prefer to fuck a guy with a little more meat back here.” He pressed himself inside and moaned with appreciation and he swayed his hips into action. “Mmm, fuck!” he sighed, watching as Duncan’s arousal grew even as he had just admitted to him that he was indeed starting to get chubby.

“You really like it?” Duncan whispered back just as Nick’s lubricated hand slipped onto his dick at the same time. “You’re not just saying that?”

Nick continued thrusting as if his lust prevented him from doing anything else. “You want me to enjoy fucking you, right? Can’t you feel how extra hard my dick is today?” he breathed into Duncan’s ear.

Duncan moaned in arousal.

“I’m going to finish so fast…” Nick added next, holding his boyfriend’s hardness at the same time and sensing that he had absolute control of the situation. “Keep spreading those big, delicious butt cheeks for me!”

Duncan leaned forward and pressed himself into Nick’s groin, submitting himself more than he knew..

“Well, boys… what do you think?” Nick asked after sending Duncan off to buy some cotton candy as the rest of them meandered around the funfair.

Nick’s chubby friends all looked at each other, then back at Duncan’s enlarged rear as he queued up by the stall. “I can’t believe he hasn’t even noticed yet,” Ben replied.

Nick sighed in frustration. These fatties really didn’t understand anything. “Of course he’s noticed, you idiot!” he growled. “You can’t gain thirty-five pounds and not notice! Not when you’re as skinny as Duncan used to be!”

“Thirty-five pounds?” Martin asked. “Is it really that much?”

“Easily,” Nick chuckled. He could estimate a guy’s weight better than anyone else he had ever met. “And not an ounce of it has been muscle!” he smirked. “Just take a look at those love handles if you don’t believe me.”

“How the fuck are you still getting away with this?” Ian asked, bewildered as he saw Duncan scratching his stomach in the queue for cotton candy.

“Easy,” Nick shrugged. “Bombard a simple boy with pure pleasure, then sit back and watch. It’s really not rocket science. All boys are pigs if you know what you’re doing. And, you know me, I’ve never struggled to put weight on anyone before; as I’m sure your blubbery thighs can attest to,” he winked at Martin.

“You’re playing a dangerous game,” Adam jumped in. “How much longer until he works out what you’re really up to and dumps you?”

Nick looked over at Duncan in the queue and waved sweetly. “I’d say I’ve got at least another fifty pounds or so before that happens,” he chuckled to the boys. “The greedy little fucker is hardly the brightest I’ve ever come across.”

Without even realising it, the other guys were a great help to increase Duncan’s calories that day. Collectively, they gorged and snacked the entire time as Nick sat back and watched. It was what he loved best about feeding. It wasn’t just about stuffing someone until they nearly puked; it was about the long term training and habit-forming he had programmed into all of them, ensuring that they ate, almost mindlessly, the entire time.

“I’ve got such a boner after watching you eating that hot dog…” Nick whispered to Duncan later that evening, adjusting his pants. “You were practically deep throating it,” he teased.

Duncan grinned. ”Well, you know how good I am at taking something long and thick into my mouth…” he teased back, thinking he knew the game that his lover was playing. He believed he was being playful and seductive, yet he was so far off the mark, it was laughable.

“Here,” Nick smiled, slipping Duncan a note. “Go get yourself another… I want to watch your mouth work and imagine what you’re going to do to me later,” he lied, patting Duncan on his doughy little rear. “Then, when we get home, I’m going to pull out the whipped cream and make you lick it all off me!”

Duncan raised his eyebrows and smiled with excitement. Then, off he went to do as he was told, nursing his own semi at the same time.

It was only in the pictures from that day that Nick really noticed how well Duncan’s double chin was starting to come in. Duncan had never exactly been on a par with him, looks-wise. But with the arrival of the chin and the bloated middle, at last Nick felt like he was dating a real chub once more, sending his arousal into overdrive. He found more and more cunning ways to ensure Duncan continued to overeat and, as the holidays arrived, Duncan had let himself go even more than Nick had ever expected. Suddenly, all those sweatpants Nick had quietly been adding to Duncan’s wardrobe began paying off; the larger shirts and cute underwear that would have been far too big for the guy back when they first got together.

“I’m thinking of asking Duncan to move in with me,” Nick explained to his parents one evening. This wasn’t the sort of life decision he usually made with his parents, but considering how much they were into this relationship, their support was bound to come with a nice big cheque for something or other.

Nick’s mother breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s wonderful news!” she beamed. “I thought you were going to tell us something else then!” she laughed, looking across at Nick’s dad.

“Like what?” Nick asked, curious.

“I thought you were about to tell us that it was all over between you both!” she chuckled, still looking nothing but relieved. “We noticed that Duncan’s put on a few pounds recently and we thought… Uh oh! Nick’s not going to be happy about that.”

“You thought I would finish with Duncan just because he’s gained a few pounds?” Nick asked, realising just how little his parents actually understood him. How many of his chubby boyfriends had they met in the past? “You really think I’m that shallow?” he asked, pretending to feel hurt. That was, until his parents finally offered to consider buying one of the new condos by the river for Nick and Duncan to live in together; so much more convenient than the poky little apartment Nick was in right now.

The chubs were shocked when Nick told them his plans. Adam, in particular, thought he was taking things too far. Sure, Nick had some fun fattening up his boyfriend when they were dating, but moving in with Duncanwould be entirely different. Now he would be able to manipulate everything that Duncan ate all day and all night long. And, from the horny way that Nick spoke about it, it was clear that he was going to take advantage of every opportunity that came his way.

“You really sneak all this stuff into his food?” Adam asked, gazing at the hidden supplies in the cupboard.

“Pretty much,” Nick nodded, smiling as he looked around his new kitchen. “Have you seen these?” he asked, picking up a pair of Ducan’s freshly washed work pants from the laundry basket. “Thirty eight inch waist already!”

“I’m guessing these are his as well?” Martin asked, picking up a jock strap.

“Absolutely!” Nick laughed. “You should see the way they cut into the little pig’s love handles! It never fails to make me explode!”

“Jeez! Look at all this shit!” Ben cried as he opened the refrigerator.

Nick’s face lit up again and his eyes twinkled with devilment as Ben pulled out one fattening product and ingredient after another. “Fat boy is living the dream, right?” he smiled. “And check out this!” he blasted, opening the freezer drawer and extracting a giant tub of ice cream. “Liquid gold, this stuff!” he joked. “The pig can’t resist it and it puts weight on him like nothing else. You wait until you see him. He’s like you, Adam. A similar sort of shape when you started getting fat; a tight, stout little belly. And his face! Oh my goodness! It’s just suddenly started looking chubby as fuck! Do you remember when it happened to you, Martin? Your face and cheeks seemed to just blow up? In less than a week you looked totally different. It’s exactly the same with Duncan right now.”

The chubs all looked at each other. Nick had been there during each one of their initial forays into gaining, and he was the reason why each of them continued to relish putting on more and more weight, even now.

“So this is where the magic happens?” Ian asked, as he was led into Nick and Duncan’s new bedroom.

Nick shook his head and laughed. “The magic happens wherever I want it to happen,” he boasted. “We may have only been here four weeks, but there’s no room or flat surface I haven’t fucked my little piggy on.”

The chubs all pulled a face, pretending to be repulsed by Nick’s crudeness, despite the arousal that they actually felt. Each one of them had been fucked and fed by him during their time. That was, before Duncan came along.

By the time Duncan arrived home from work, there was a wealth of take out on offer in the lounge, with Nick standing up brightly to greet his lover whilst the four chubby guys were draped over the sofas like bloated seals. After hugging him, Nick stood back and allowed the eyes of the chubs to check Duncan out. He could see their eyes wandering to exactly where he wanted: Duncan’s chubby chin, his pot belly and broader butt. How exciting it was to show him off like this! Nick fussed about him, fetching him a plate and a cool beer whilst he settled down with the other boys.

Grazing was one of Duncan’s weaknesses. A large buffet dinner like this always resulted in him eating more than usual. Even as the pizzas and chicken pieces went cool, the boy was still nibbling away as he chatted. He slipped off his tie and supped on the beer until a little opening formed between the buttons on his shirt, a tight bloat starting to take hold of his portly stomach.

“I’m hoping I can pull a few strings and get Duncan a new job with one of my friends,” Nick commented next, as Duncan began complaining about his boss. “He works so hard and just gets more and more responsibilities piled on top of him without any extra pay. It’s not fair.”

“I’ve got my fingers crossed,” Duncan nodded in agreement. “A new job would be so handy right now. As much as I like being able to walk to work, I think I’m ready for a change.”

The chubs all eyed Nick knowingly. Was this yet another cunning way to ensure that Duncan got the least amount of exercise possible? Back in the early days, Nick had manipulated all their lifestyles in a similar fashion, and their waistlines had rapidly paid the price. It burned the question in all their minds: Just how much further could Nick take this gain?

“You’ve been to the gym already?” Duncan asked a couple of weeks later as he groggily rubbed his eyes one Saturday morning.

“Of course I have,” Nick smiled, pumping his bicep. “It was chest day. You know that’s my favorite!” he winked, ripping off his compression shirt and throwing his muscular body down onto the bed with his now easily 240lb boyfriend. He kissed him keenly until he could feel Duncan really getting into it. That was the moment he pulled out. “I’m going to make you some breakfast,” he teased,” reaching his hand onto the boy’s wider rear, “then I’m going to fuck you silly…” he growled.

“Does it have to be in that specific order?” Duncan smiled back, throwing his leg over and spreading his naked butt so temptingly, as if he didn’t understand how, these days, his oversized, wobbly glutes would have put most guys off. Duncan was not the cute little thing he used to be.

Nick growled in lust, sliding his hand onto the boy’s butt and slapped it playfully, watching the fresh blubber ripple. “Breakfast first,” he smiled, resisting temptation, jumping back up energetically to start frying things up for his underexercised lover.

A few weeks later, Nick’s buddy, Martin, had met him in town for lunch. Ever since the pair had dated in high school, the guy had slowly been swelling up fatter and fatter. After understanding their shared attraction to weight gain, Nick had been the one to draw it out of him, with those initial sixty pounds being down to his own hard work and dedication to the cause. It was where Nick had learned his craft as a feeder; utilising the knowledge he had acwuired with the many, many gainers he had fattened up since.

Despite Martin’s athletic beginnings on the football team, there was not a trace of it left any longer. The guy was surprisingly pear shaped and soft all over; with every part of him coated in blubber. Martin had hit three hundred and fifty pounds last year and was still continuing to balloon up with the help of several other feeders Nick had sent his way. As usual, he was wearing clothes that appeared far too tight; his drooping stomach starting to show itself underneath his too-short t-shirt. Nick enjoyed standing back and watching the looks his friend got as they walked around together; his very favourite hobby.

“You know, I almost forgot how much I LOVE a giant fat ass on a guy,” Nick rambled as the pair of them walked to a free bench at the park. “Duncan had almost no ass at all when I asked him out. Then it started getting nice and peachy, and I thought I was so turned on by it; like my dick was never going to be flaccid ever again! But now…” he swooned, turned on just to be saying these things aloud. “...Now it’s properly FAT! Like two doughy mounds of lard! You should see the way it jiggles and moves; how wide it’s getting and how it’s spreading out! Fuck, man!”

“Hence the doughnuts,” Martin chuckled, motioning to the little bag of premium treats Nick had just picked up to take home with him later. “You do realise there are a lot more calories in the regular ones Duncan eats?” he reminded his friend.

Nick shrugged. “Duncan tends to prefer these ones. I know they’re a lot more expensive, but my little fat ass is definitely worth it,” he laughed.

“So it’s finally happened then!” Martin smirked, breathing a sigh of relief as they made it to the bench. “I never got expensive treats like those when we dated. You’re so fucked now, you know that, right?”

Nick turned in surprise. “Fucked?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows. “Because I spent extra money on donuts?”

“I’ve seen this coming for months. The way you are around Duncan; finishing his sentences and fussing after him. You’ve properly fallen in love, haven’t you? Nick Bowlins: the feeder with a heart of stone, has actually fallen for one of his fatties!”

Nick shook his head. “No. It’s not like that at all!” he shot back, surprisingly offended by the idea. “I know this isn’t a long-term thing. I’ve been secretly fattening him for months waiting until he finally realises and dumps me. I headed into this with realistic expectations.”

“And that’s what makes this all the more tragic,” Martin laughed. “You’ve schemed yourself into a corner. You even pulled all those strings to make sure your friend got him that new job. You’ve played your games and ensured he piles on the weight, but you know he’ll never forgive you once he figures it all out. And when that happens, he’s going to break your little heart.”

“I’m not discussing this,” Nick stated, standing up and checking his watch for the time.

“Ouch! I’ve touched a nerve!” Martin sang with delight. “This is pure karma you realise? Secretly fatten up your boyfriend’s ass and you’re going to end up getting bitten on yours!”

Nick rolled his eyes and started walking off. He hated how jealous Martin was these days, now that they didn’t casually fuck like they used to. Although Nick hadn’t entered into a relationship with Duncan with the intention of staying monogamous, that was exactly what had happened. He just hadn’t wanted to be with anyone else. So, how would he feel when all this was over? Because Martin was right about one thing: this whole relationship was definitely heading for an inevitable conclusion. Maybe Nick would be the one who came off worse.

“You know I love you, right?” Nick asked, cuddling Duncan extra tight as he spooned him in bed the next morning.

Duncan chuckled softly and rubbed Nick’s strong arms that held him so firmly. “I know,” he replied, smiling happily. “I love you too.”

Despite the raging hard-on Nick had, pressed up against Duncan’s soft glutes, he tried his best to resist heading straight to sex and just enjoyed the moment. Who knew how many more mornings like this they had together?

“I’m heading for a shower if you want to join?” Duncan asked, slipping out from under the covers and standing there naked. His blubbery body was so intoxicating. Nick hadn’t been able to resist spoiling him with take-out last night and, as a result, the guy’s nipples finally looked like they were ready to start the eventual droop onto that rounded little gut that was swelling out of him. Was the guy really so oblivious that he didn’t realise how overweight he was getting? Did he really not know that, to the average person, his lardy physique was never going to entice anyone the way he was now trying to entice Nick to follow him into the shower. Bounce, bounce, bounce went those overfilled glutes as he strutted out, confident that Nick would follow; the jiggle of fat in his love handles surprisingly out of sync with the rest of his body. But Nick was so hard; his devious brain having already concocted several ways he could ensure Duncan was gorged on calories all day long. He simply wouldn’t be able to stop himself, even if he tried.

“Wait for me!” he called out, throwing the covers off and following the little piglet into the bathroom.

Many of the strategies Nick had employed to increase Duncan’s weight in the early days were now thoroughly ingrained and trained into him. Nick sat back and watched the naive boy guzzle down his breakfast and then mindlessly wander around the kitchen cupboards for snacks. The boy’s life had been so ridiculously food focused for months now, he initiated his own conversations about where they should go for lunch and talked excitedly about the little bakeries and food places they could stop at along the way. Nick almost wished that he would stop; his dick swelling with blood each and every time Duncan’s well developed greed reared its ugly head in their conversations.

“You’re starting to look like your father!” Duncan’s mother grumbled as they called in one afternoon; her son’s stomach surprisingly rounded and bloated after the sushi lunch he had insisted upon.

Right before Duncan’s dad had taken up with another woman and moved to New York about seven years ago, an eighteen year old Nick had developed the biggest crush on him: the fattest man in their neighborhood. Since then, Duncan’s mother had bitterly sworn off men and neither she, nor Duncan, had had any contact with him since. But the comparison with Duncan’s father now made Nick’s heart race as he took in just how justified it was. Ducan did indeed carry all the weight in the same way; his stomach and butt pushing outwards in completely the opposite directions. 

Duncan rolled his eyes, shielded from all the criticism by the many false and exaggerated compliments Nick had filled his head with for almost eighteen months now. “Did you notice that tiny little portion mom gave me?” he complained as they both got back into the car after staying for dinner. “I think she’s trying to put me on a diet herself!”

The pair of them laughed and waved as they pulled out of the driveway.

“You don’t think I’ve gotten too fat do you?” Duncan asked, clearly second guessing himself after the visit.

“I think you’re gorgeous,” Nick growled, swerving the question and pulling Duncan’s hand onto his erection, as if providing evidence to that effect. He’d planned for them both to stop at his own folks’ place before heading home, but his arousal had got the better of him. He felt an ache in his balls and needed to get his fat boy back as soon as possible.

“Can we order Mexican tonight?” Duncan asked; his greedy mind still hijacked by thoughts of food.

“We’ll get you whatever you want,” Nick smiled back, taking one hand from the wheel to rub his lover’s chubby thigh. Oh, how he loved this boy!

Over the following months, Nick’s usual compliments started sounding more and more ironic. He still lamented about Duncan’s butt, calling it ‘cute’ and ‘pert’ like he always had, despite the monstrous width and shape it had developed. He referred to Duncan as his ‘pretty boy’ even though the chubby cheeks had enveloped many of his old facial features and the double chin had robbed him of a jawline for quite some time. Time and time again, he made note of Duncan’s strength and manly physique, even as the pounds and pounds of blubber encased his upper arms and surged into his nipples, making them bounce as he walked. It was almost amusing that Duncan still believed each and every one of them. Then again, was it a lie when Nick really meant what he said? Big and bloated as it was, Duncan’s butt was still the cutest thing Nick had ever seen. Sure, the boy’s face was round and plump, but did that mean he wasn’t pretty anymore? Definitely not!

“I can’t believe you’re still getting away with this shit!” laughed Adam as they all met up for a meal at a fancy buffet restaurant closer to the holidays. Duncan’s gut had swollen significantly since many of the boys had seen him last summer; all of them gazing at the boy from the table as he greedily trotted around the dishes on offer. “I have to hand it to you. I never thought you would get this far with him.”

Nick nodded and smiled, but didn’t feel the need to comment.

“What is he now?” Ben asked, inspecting Duncan’s broad rear as he turned around. “Two-eighty?”

“No way! That’s a three hundred pounder if ever I’ve seen one!” Ian jumped in, laughing when Duncan’s shirt came untucked as he hungrily reached over to pick up some garlic bread.

Nick nodded once again, silently wishing for Duncan to hurry back to the table and end this speculation. All it would take would be for one of them to say something too loudly and Duncan would overhear. Then the entire house of cards would come crashing down.

The chubs all seemed to notice Nick’s silence and they looked at each other in confusion. Where had that wicked, boastful feeder they all knew so well gone?

“Leave him be, boys,” Martin whispered to the others. He probably knew, just as well as the rest did, that this was likely Nick and Duncan’s last holiday season together. 

The chair squeaked as Duncan sat himself down again. His plate was piled high; the food glistening with grease and butter. He reached for his knife and fork. Since when had his hands become so chubby and full; his fingers swelling like short little sausages.

“Nick wants to take me away on a cruise next year,” Duncan told the boys later on as the conversation progressed. “Somewhere warm so that we can just lie by the pool and enjoy some drinks in the sun.” “How lovely!” Adam grinned. “All those fantastic restaurants to visit throughout the day; all that delicious food…” he smirked, looking over in Nick’s direction. “What a thoughtful boyfriend you have!”

Nick felt more uncomfortable than ever, wriggling in his seat. In truth, he’d drifted away from the boys for just this reason, knowing that these subtle little comments about his feeder intentions were one day going to land in Duncan’s mind. Then, everything would unravel. “I just thought it would be nice,” he replied softly, rubbing his lover’s bulging thigh under the table.

“That’s what everyone always says about you,” Ben agreed sarcastically. “Nick Bowlins: a real ‘nice’ guy!” he winked.

Nick swallowed hard and forcefully steered the conversation in an entirely new direction. He felt so grateful as the evening ended and it was just him and Duncan back in the car, heading back home.

“I think I’ve still got some of that nice ice cream left in the freezer,” Duncan pondered, despite how much he had consumed that evening. “I’ll have it when I get home.”

Once again, Nick’s erection sprang to life, despite the guilt he felt. For the first time, he wished that his brain wasn’t wired the way it was. Why did he have to get off on how greedy and well trained his boyfriend had become to eat everything he provided? Why couldn’t he just be normal, like everyone else? Why did this secret have to loom over them like a dark, angry cloud?

The rain was falling hard as they made it back to the apartment block that evening, both of them running from the parking lot to the front entrance. A large man stood outside, looking drenched and miserable as he tried in vain to get a response on the intercom to one of the apartments upstairs.

“Can I help you?” Nick asked, letting the man come into the main hallway and out of the downpour.

The man lowered his hood and breathed out, rubbing his fat face and beard,soaked from the rain. Nick recognised him immediately and he could tell from the way that Duncan took a step back that he had just had the shock of his life. There, standing before them both was Duncan’s long estranged father.

“Your aunt said it was a nice apartment you have,” the big man beamed as he followed them both upstairs a few minutes later. “I have to say, she was absolutely right! This was all just wasteland when I was last in town.”

Nicked fetched the man a towel and took his jacket off. Although it had been many years since he had seen Duncan’s father, Eddie, he was surprised at how impressively large the man had become in that time, easily close to being five hundred pounds, if not more.

“What do you want?” Duncan asked, sitting himself down on the couch. “Why show up here after all this time? Is Michelle not with you?”

“Michelle’s at home in New York,” Eddie replied, referring to the woman he had left Duncan’s mother to be with. “I always miss you more around the holidays. Now you’ve moved out of your mom’s place, I thought maybe I could finally summon up the courage to come and see you.” The man looked over at his son and smiled. It had been years since he had seen him. Duncan had been nothing more than a scrawny teenager the last time they had been in the same room together. “You look well,” he nodded. “I always thought you’d end up looking more like me than your mother,” he smiled, patting his own large belly.

An awkward silence fell upon the room. After over seven years of estrangement, was Duncan’s dad really calling him fat within the first five minutes? Tact was clearly not his specialty.

“Your aunt tells me you two have been together for over two years now?” he asked next. “You must be very happy.”

Again, the silence was deafening. Nick began to feel sorry for the man as Duncan’s hostility endured.

“Why did you have to move to New York?” Duncan finally asked; blocking whatever path his father was trying to steer the conversation.

Eddie nodded his head, accepting that the question was a good one. “Because I fell in love,” he answered. “Michelle and I… we’re just made for each other. Sure, it’s not a conventional pairing… A bit like you two,” he pointed at them both, appearing to be gesturing towards their two contrasting bodies. “But we’re very happy together.”

The cogs in Nick’s brain began to turn. 

“Your mom was always getting at me for my weight,” Eddie went on. “We were never happy. That was all just an act for your sake. But I think you knew that, didn’t you?” he smiled sweetly at Duncan. “I tried to explain to your mom that this is who I am,” he nodded, grabbing a handful of the fat that encircled his waist. “But she wouldn’t have it. She made my life hell. Then I met Michelle online and… well, as you know. Everything changed.”

Nick had a thousand questions burning in his head. He fought back the urge to jump in and ask them all at once, merely rubbing Duncan’s back supportively from behind the couch.

“Your mom threatened to tell you everything unless I stayed away. She’d hired a private investigator and had endless messages, pictures and transcripts between me and Michelle. I didn’t want you to see any of that. Your mom made it clear that she thought the things Michelle and I were into were just perverted. She didn’t understand the eating and the weight gain and how intrinsic it all is to my happiness.”

Nick tried not to react. Was Duncan’s father really coming out as a… a gainer?

“I thought, maybe now that you’re in your own similar relationship, that you might understand,” Eddie finished, looking at them both.

Nick’s eyes bulged and he stood up straighter; his heart pounding. He’d imagined many scenarios where he would be outed as a feeder, but being called out by Duncan’s absentee father had not been one of them. “I’m not sure I know what you mean,” he mumbled shakily.

Eddie chuckled. “Oh, come on… it’s obvious!” he motioned again at their extreme size difference. “Duncan’s aunt told me all about you two. You’re the one who fattened up Pete and Shirley’s boy, Martin, back when you were in high school together,” Eddie stated directly to Nick. “I heard he’s a real porker these days! ��As fat as butter’ my sister said!”

Duncan turned his head to look at Nick, standing behind him, his eyebrows lowered in confusion. Nick was utterly speechless.

“Now, I’m not sure there are many fathers who would approve of their son dating a feeder,” Eddie nodded. “But, in this case, I’ve got to say… I know you two will be really happy together.”

Duncan and Nick both looked across at Eddie. The man was still blissfully unaware of the wrecking ball he had just taken to their relationship.

“I’m staying at the Palace Hotel,” Eddie stated as he grunted and got up from his seat. “Perhaps we could all meet up for some lunch tomorrow?”

Again, silence was the only response. He pulled out a contact card and dropped it on the coffee table.

“It really is good to see you again,” he smiled at Duncan as Nick followed him to the door and closed it behind him.

“Duncan…” Nick began, the moment they were alone again. “That was… I’m not sure your dad has all the facts about… I’m not really…” he mumbled, starting and restarting his sentences again and again. “Are you alright?” he finally offered sweetly.

Duncan inhaled and seemed to pull himself out of his stunned silence. “Well, I guess everything makes a lot more sense now,” he nodded pragmatically. “With dad… With you.”

Nick’s heart was racing. He thought of several things he could say in response, all of them lies and excuses. No. The game was up.

“So I guess that’s the reason why I’m like this,” Duncan sighed, raising his arms up to his chest and looking down at his fattened body, as if for the first time. “I just thought I was going mad. Two hundred and ninety six pounds. That’s what I was when I weighed myself the other day. Can you believe that?”

“I never meant for things to go this far,” Nick replied honestly.

“Nor did I,” Duncan agreed, rubbing his stout belly sadly.

“You don’t have to be this way,” Nick shot back. “We can put you on a diet. I’d love you however you looked. Just give me a chance and let me prove it!”

“I think it’s too late for that, don’t you?” Duncan grumbled, still holding his enlarged stomach. “My dad’s right. I’ve always been more like him than my mom.”

“How do you mean?” Nick asked, wondering just how long it would be until Duncan kicked him out. Where the hell was he going to sleep tonight?

“I love food. I love eating. I love this…” he emphasised, leaning a little forwards and grabbing his gut with both hands, shaking it. “I just didn’t understand why.”

Nick’s heart skipped a beat. “You seriously don’t mind?” he asked in astonishment.

“I thought you were so sweet for not nagging me about my weight when I first started getting chubby. But I guess I understand now. It all makes sense.”

Nick cringed. He felt that things still rested on a knife edge. He didn’t want to open his mouth and say the wrong thing; simultaneously destroying everything. 

“So, this is your thing, huh?” Duncan asked, lifting his shirt and patting the large belly he had developed over the last two years. “I suppose I always was a prime target for a feeder, knowing how large my dad is. I guess weight gain is just in the genes. You must have known that.”

“That wasn’t why I started dating you,” Nick replied quickly. “And your weight isn’t the reason why I fell in love with you either.”

“Well, you’re a better man than me then,” Duncan chuckled. “Because the way you used to cook and overfeed me definitely played a part in the reason why I fell for you so badly!”

The pair looked at each other with very small smiles threatening to invade from the furthest corners of their mouths.

“I guess we’re both just a couple of freaks,” Duncan finally laughed. He patted the space next to him on the couch and Nick finally came to sit next to him. The most honest conversation of their lives was about to begin.

“Surprise!” shouted the crowds of people as Duncan and Nick walked into the restaurant a few months later. Everyone was there: the chubs, the two families, Duncan’s father and Michelle; all stood underneath a banner congratulating them on their engagement. The pair of them laughed, pretending that they hadn’t already worked out what was happening, strolling in to greet them all.

“So you’re finally going to make an honest fatty out of this one?” Martin joked quietly as he came up to the pair of them later that evening.

Nick nodded, his hand resting sweetly on Duncan’s large butt as the boy stood, eating his third plateful from the buffet. He rubbed and patted gently, knowing that Duncan always ate better when his size was being admired. The boy had been fattening faster than ever since the pair of them had been open and honest about things. With such an enormous double chin, Duncan even looked larger than Martin himself.

“How was the cruise?” Martin askes next, not having seen the pair of them since they made it home, freshly engaged last weekend.

Duncan and Nick giggled to each other, remembering all the kinky things they had got up to together. “It was very good, thanks,” Nick finally replied, rubbing Duncan’s giant stomach as if to show that the pair of them had stuffed Duncan’s gut for the entire two weeks. They’d even had to buy a new shirt especially for the party that evening.

“Yeah, it was great,” Duncan mumbled through a mouthful of food. “Now we’re just looking forward to the wedding.”

A surge of excitement spread through Nick as he thought about the wedding. His large hand couldn’t resist squeezing Duncan’s blubbery glute as he pictured how much fatter his fiance would be by then.

“Well, it’s unconventional, but it clearly works for you two,” Martin smiled, looking on at his very good friends who clearly only had eyes for each other. Sure, the world had lost one of its most devilish and enterprising feeders, but look at how happy he was with his fat boy. Look at how happy they both were! 

The whispers behind their backs could continue, the justified comparisons between Nick and Eddie’s feeder wife could go on and on. Duncan’s mother could regret the day she’d ever agreed to let her friend coax her into setting up Duncan with her son. But none of them could deny that this was something very special indeed. The glasses were raised, the toasts were made and the sentiment was real. A long and happy marriage was wished upon them both. Nick and Duncan, forever more.

[disabirbity]

What are some things other psychotics do to differentiate between hallucination and reality? And what are ways some of you hold off symptoms? Looking to get a nice thread for people to help each other going here, this stuff isn't posted about enough.

Ways we prevent symptoms/stop them from progressing:

Make background noise to prevent auditory hallucinations. Most of ours start by hearing something that we can't identify the cause of in the background, and our brain starts the spiral from there. So we listen to music all the time and sleep with a fan on every single night, even in the winter. We just point it away from us if we don't want it making us cold.

Blame the cat (or other pets). Any weird movement, scratching, crunching or thumping? That's just Jerry, don't worry about it. He's a silly cat that does cat things even while we're sleeping. Any noise can be blamed on pets or the wind, which stops the paranoia from setting in and making everything bad.

We also tell ourselves that if there was an actual issue like an intruder or monster, the cat would hiss or scream, and the dog would be barking or making noise. This can be applied to many pets.

Stay busy. Focus on something--art, video games, tv shows and films, craft, gardening, anything that keeps you thinking. Don't let the anxiety get to you, just stay focused on your regular life.

Laugh at it. You're hallucinating a monster in your peripheral vision? Name it Fred and tell him to pay rent. You hear weird noises? Tell them to come back with a warrant. For us, treating symptoms like they're jokes or not serious makes us less anxious and therefore makes it easier to get back to a point where we're okay.

Having a friend or a pet near you can help. We feel safer and less alone when we see another living thing near us that's safe. We don't feel as much like we're trapped in another dimension that way.

How we differentiate between reality and unreality:

Touch it. This one only works for things you're not scared of, and if you don't have tactile hallucinations. It's not foolproof! But when we're seeing things like bugs and stuff, reaching out to touch them causes them to fade away so we know they're fake.

Ask friends and other trusted people if they "heard that" or "saw anything". If they're psychosis friendly, feel free to explain and be specific. If not, be vague and keep it to simple things like "hey did you hear anything? I couldn't tell what it was", if that will be safe enough. Having people to ground you can be great.

Look at how others around you are acting. Are they running or interacting with the thing in question in any way? Do they seem to look at it or no? If no one is noticing, it's less likely to be real.

These won't work for everyone and some of these might be harmful to others, but they're helpful to us. You know best what will help you!

Please feel free to add your own! We need more discussion around psychosis that isn't "scary evil person disorder and how to deal with people who have it".

[fuctacles]

someone (thank you) has paid for my bday cake before i could share the link, but if you want, you can pitch in for new headphones for me as a gift ofc no pressure, you being here is a gift enough <3

<< ten | 😺 | twelve >>

To say Eddie is nervous would be an understatement of the century. His soul is one bump in the road away from skipping out of his body, leaving him alone to deal with whatever is happening inside his brain. Which is a lot on a regular day, but today, all his synapses and wires and whatever the fuck are screaming at him, you kissed Steph oh my gods, this is real, this is happening, oh no, Wayne is gonna be so smug about this!!!

No party hook up or any of his short-term girlfriends has made him this nervous. Because no offense to them, but they were young and simple and easy to understand. Steph, he might get to some extent—trans woman rejected by her family, feeling alone despite having a group of devoted friends, all of them scattered through states—but what she wants from life is surely different from finishing college and going on a summer trip. Right?

"Would you want to do it again?" he asks, hands shifting on the wheel. It's a good place to start.

"Your hair?" She gives him a fleeting glance. "Of course, it's nice to work with."

Eddie purses his lips. 

"Kiss. I meant the kiss," he clarifies. "Well, and anything that... might come with it." He winces at his own wording.

Steph murmurs something that sounds like "oh god" under her breath.

"Listen..." She drums her fingers against the bag in her lap. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Anything that involved you has been a good idea so far," he counters lightly. When she turns to look at him, he gives her a soft smile.

She nods slowly. 

"Okay, and how do you imagine that? You fuck me and then we awkwardly pass each other on the stairs? How do I look Wayne in the eye?"

Eddie winces. In his ideal fantasy, Wayne doesn't know until the wedding invitations get send out. 

"Well, unless I do something mortally embarrassing, I can't imagine an outcome where I wouldn't want to at least stay friendly and talk to you." He finally turns into their parking lot and goes silent as he looks for an empty space. Once parked, he kills the engine and turns to properly look at Steph. "What are you really worried about?"

She sighs, and when she looks up, her eyes are big and open, striking him right into his heart. 

"So many things," she admits.

"Tell me one of them," Eddie prompts. 

Steph quickly opens her mouth, almost aggressively, but clamps it shut just as fast. Her thoughtful frown tells him she's looking for something different to share. 

"I don't want to be a conquest, a one night stand. I don't do that, I don't do hook ups, to be honest I haven't had—" she cuts herself off abruptly, and her cheeks turn pink. 

Eddie tries to push down the sympathy from showing on his face, but it's hard to do. In his perfect world, he'd give her all the orgasms she deserves and then some. 

"And I don't want to be someone you can fuck whenever you visit Hawkins," she adds abruptly, rushing it out of her mouth like another forbidden thought. 

Eddie raises his eyebrows in surprise. 

"Do you think I'm so swarmed with opportunities in Indy that I can't pause my libido for a week?" he asks, almost amused by the idea.

"I don't know, Eddie!" She throws her hands up angrily. "I don't know you! And you don't know me."

"I know some of you," he insists. "I know your cats are Garfield, Dart, and Arwen. Your best friend is a lesbian named Robin, I know you're still friends with nerds you used to babysit, and that you like Star Wars. I know what kind of beer you buy, and that your couch is ridiculously soft. I know that you want to give your salon to Joyce and open a new one in Indy," he lists off. "And I'd like to know more." 

"No you don't."

Eddie holds himself back from throwing hands up in frustration as well. Maybe he didn't kiss her hard enough. 

"Well, you don't know me, so how would you know?" He never means to get irritated by her, but she's just so—ugh.

Steph presses her mouth into a thin line. 

"Let's just go in," she says, opening her door to leave the van.

Eddie curses under his breath, scrambling to gather his things and follow her. They don't talk, ruminating in their conversation (argument?), but she walks the stairs slowly, so his smoker lungs and barely used joints can keep up. It gives him hope that she's not really mad, and he could kiss her again in the near future. 

She stops on his floor, where they are meant to part.

"Do you want that conditioner?" she asks. 

For a second, his brain struggles to catch up, but he's nodding before it even clicks. Anything to keep her coming back. 

"Yeah, that would be great, thank you." He smiles, only slightly embarrassed by how out of breath he sounds. 

Steph nods, turning to the next flight of stairs, leading up towards her floor. 

"I'll call you when I find it. Thank you for today." And she smiles, finally, even if it's not as joyful as he'd like. 

"Thank you." He smiles more freely, fighting the instinct to nonchalantly lean against the handrail. It's not an ending of a date, after all. "And I was being serious, earlier. With—"

"I know," she interrupts him. "I know." She puts her feet on the first step, not looking at him. "I'll see you later."

"Will you think about it?" he asks before she can disappear, her pace much faster now that she doesn't have an Eddie-shaped ball chained to her ankle. Damn jock blood. 

Steph stops mid-way, turning to him with a slightly pitying smile that makes his insides churn. 

"Oh, Eddie," she sighs. "I think about it all the time."

For a while longer, he stays rooted to the spot, in the middle of his landing. Hopeful, turned on, but most of all, confused, listening to her steps fade out. 

When he finally turns back into their apartment, Wayne must sense something, because for once he doesn't bother him with questions and teasing remarks. Instead, he does something much, much worse, while he's pulling on the soft ends of Eddie's conditioned hair.

"You're going back next week, right?"

Because Eddie kind of forgot about that. That it's not some liminal time vacuum when he's just his uncle's kid again, driving through familiar streets, seeing faces that have known him since he was a young teen. He tends to do that, whenever visiting Wayne. Life in Indianapolis is great, but it's fast, loud and busy, so the contrast always make him feel like he's in a hazy dream. Like his life is on pause. 

Wayne is heartless in reminding him about the, so called, real life. Eddie sighs. 

"When is the appointment again? Wednesday?" He looks at the calendar on the fridge.

"Thursday," Wayne corrects him. "At 11." 

Eddie nods slowly, humming to himself. 

"We should stock up on the way back. So you don't have to strain your leg while I'm not here." He pats his uncle's knee, swiftly avoiding a kick with the cast after he does it. "How long until you can go back to work?"

"Two weeks, probably." Wayne shrugs. "Depends on what the doctor says. But I'm so ready to leave the house," he groans. "I'm bored out of my mind. Is this how you feel all the time?"

Eddie laughs. 

"Pretty much," he grins. "Should we grab some movies before I leave, too?"

"Please."

It's hours before the phone rings, and he's put it out of his mind, assuming Steph would want a break from him. But as soon as he hears it, he's up and walking towards the kitchen.

"Ed!" his uncle calls from the couch.

"On it!" he yells back before picking up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, I found the conditioner. Do you want to come up or should I drop it on my way to work tomorrow?" Steph sounds normal, like nothing weird has happened between them. He's not sure is a good or bad sign for him. 

"I'll come up, no problem," he answers quickly. "Is right now okay?"

"Yeah, I'm not doing anything."

"Okay, see you in ten."

When he puts down the phone, he can hear his heart pounding in his chest. He turns to the mirror hanging in the dark corridor and fixes what he can see, any stray hair or weirdly shifted clothes. But upon further consideration, he goes to the bathroom, where he can check his face and teeth under better light.

"I'm going out," he informs his uncle as he slides on his shoes. 

Wayne shifts to look at him, eyebrows raised curiously.  

"To where?"

"Steph's, I need to pick something up. I'll be back in fifteen minutes, don't trip until then."

"Come closer so I can hit you with the crutch," Wayne glowers at him. "I'll handle a walk to the bathroom, you keep the lady some company." He waves him off, turning back to the TV. "Before she goes mad talking to her cats all the time."

Eddie rolls his eyes. 

"Well, in that case, I'll be back when I'm back." He grins. "Later! And goodnight, possibly. Maybe, I don't know." Eddie loses steam by the end of it, but his uncle believes in him. The kid always had a talent for being charming when he wanted to. 

He settles comfortably in his seat. 

"Goodnight, lover boy," he chuckles.

tagsies:

@wheneverfeasible @steddieinthesun @hattsy-likes-pretty-stuff @bumblebeecuttlefishes @phantomcat94

@tartarusknight  @tinyplanet95 @steddiefication @estrellami-1 @disrespectedgoatman

@madigoround @tartarusknight @blasvemous @cryptid-system @hiei-harringtonmunson

@hellowhatthehellisgoingonhere @dreamercec @manliest-of-muppets

@bookbinderbitch @marklee-blackmore @icecat

[the-meme-monarch]

telling this to you because you’re the only one who likes the human characters in dandy’s world. but

Sam (sprout’s handler) is the only non-binary character in all of dandy’s world. which had to be weird for them! considering the time it takes place I doubt they were out. with your headcanons of Delilah being loveless aro & Arthur being aro it makes me think that maybe there were a lot of lgbt workers there. maybe they attracted each other to work in this nice place where there’s less judgment. idk I’m thinking

i’d like to start off with this post of mine before i start my damn Dissertation HDHSJSN

and yeah i think working at gardenview was very generally very nice ! i just like to think arthur is very kind, he wanted to make a good kids show that teaches good lessons. and like, assuming the universe of dandys world is otherwise realistic to real life; he’s a black man born maybe the 60s, growing up in the 70s and 80s. he would have witnessed discrimination or had it enacted on him, and Certainly not saying racism just Doesn’t Exist Any More, but he would’ve grown up while segregation was still very prevalent and racism was. louder. in the general -especially white- population. and then w my headcanon of him using mobility aids he would’ve likely dealt with a lot of ableism. and being aroace(though likely just identifying as asexual, as it seems aromantic wasn’t coined until 2005? according to google at least) likely dealing with amatonormativity/allonormativity/heteronormativity/aphobia/or even homophobia bc Well If You’re Not Straight You Must Be Gay. also while he maybe wouldn’t have had direct experience to the aids crisis, he was still Around For It. and then also my hc of him being mixed race. and then All the ways these things intersect with each other. i think he’s shaped by his experiences and just wants Better and to create positive change !

i also have a little headcanon that he used to be a teacher’s aide ! i think he’s always been into drawing and making characters, and so this job is where he decided he wanted to do children’s edutainment :’] my sibling and i have talked about what we think the cartoon may have been like, and i think we figured “somewhere between animaniacs and bluey”

delilah ofc would’ve dealt with sexism, and amatonormativity/etc and shitty comments about how she acts or doesn’t really care to make friends, “being a loner”, or not being “lady-like enough” or god forbid being friends with a black kid. i think she would be queer friendly maybe more because more plainly “what difference does it make/why should that bother me, they’re not hurting anybody” but also bc “they’re still people too” ! I think it’s very likely both her and arthur were raised christian, arthur probably still identifies with it, but i don’t think delilah does. i think she thinks her religious upbringing was a prison NDNSJSNSJ

sam may not have come out to either of them, but i think they felt safe there that maybe they could to at least the other main toon’s handlers <:] and also with them being presumably irish, with their last name being mclaughlin, they would’ve been dealing with bigot shit for that alone i wouldn’t fault them in the slightest for not coming out to anyone ever. regardless i think arthur and delilah try to make sure that gardenview is a welcoming and kind environment that doesn’t tolerate That Shit. i can only imagine the smear campaigns the show wouldve gotten for having a rainbow flower boy protagonist.

also iirc sam is Stated to be nonbinary and using they/them, while looey and teagan we don’t know the specifics of their gender labels but we do know they use he/they and she/they respectively, and i do picture them deciding on those pronouns was a later development, and not a since-creation thing. idk if they would’ve come out to anybody either, or if they did I don’t think they would’ve even thought it was a big deal at all. i think toons in general are sorta just inherently silly little guys that don’t really adhere to human strictures, they think bigotry is stupid they don’t Get how someone could actually think that way

[bylerlipglances]

VICTIM BLAMING. Will Byers edition: Let's throw him under the bus. shall we.

current awful state of social media(x,reddit to be specific) holding an uncanny resemblance to the town of Hawkins which ostracizes the freaks, full of nagging homophobes, ganging up on Noah Schnapp & Will Byers, projecting their personal hatred on two people with full force, making them scapegoat for literally everything going wrong in this world & their lives.

The unsolicited claim on Eleven by homophobic shippers has truly ruined this character, who btw went through similar childhood trauma as Will.

sorry but you can't expect yourself to be taken seriously if you act as 'walking mlvn edits' with no substantial logic to back your stupid argument.

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Mike is their baby, the rich suburban boy, has a girlfriend, an ideal family which supports Reagan-Bush campaigns. He is selling them dream of a lifetime.

His friend Will on the other hand, is a wretched boy, comes from a poor and broken family, raised by a single mom, infected by the gay disease.

a forbidden love story? that ain't gonna happen....

My child was not gay, is not gay and will never be gay. He will marry a nice girl, you wait and see......

credit twitter caterin @loafwheelz

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ofcourse there is going to be uproar after s5 airs....

ST appeases its queer audience. yada yada

see for yourself, the teaser is not even out yet but deluge of homophobic reactions have already started pouring in. just wait, s5 will be labelled as too woke for public consumption.

it will be difficult to swallow an unconventional ending 👨‍❤️‍👨 👬🏻 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 of their 'favourite show' which btw they watch with their *kids*. ya this is the one show they landed on. as long as the show remains straight people friendly, its unpolluted.

may i add, its a family ritual to pause 'stranger things' at 53 minutes, 5 seconds. you know who pauses at that timestamp? People who like________thats right. Thoughtful parenting. Real fans who watch this show 'with their kids'.

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Gay romance is , obsession of Teenage girls. so everyone gets a free pass to disregard it & all are excused from any moral accountability.

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When nothing works, they’ll pull out the most convenient act,

"Hey Listen, I am gay too and in my opinion, Will is creepy for having a crush on Mike." and the praise comments afterward omg...Dude why are you so right, can i suck your dick pls😭 pls let me. i can't

Poor mike :( he must be suffering from all that attention he is getting, that's worse than dealing with the mindflayer on a daily basis.

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it doesn't stop here btw, prepare for the most dreadful secondhand embarrassment.

“Every cell of Mike’s body is in love with eleven” i am cringe twerking. “We need to value platonic relationships and discard idea of wanting to see characters get together romantically, sexually” proceeds to advocate for eleven losing virginity to mike, its a sign of their pure love afterall.

Bottom line is, Make it non-sexual & platonic when it comes to will and mike's relationship but make it sexually charged if it's about eleven and mike.

and everytime the question of Will & Mike's intimacy comes to the forefront, this one thing is instantly thrown as argument. every single damn time!

"There is a goddamn war coming to hawkins! and they wanna show all this? is vecna going to wait for them to kiss & go down on each other" . i despise recycling my own argument but cant help it, i am insufferable. "didn't THE WORLD WARS single handedly stopped all the sex in the world? damn right. The bliss of war ladies and germs.

sure enough, this show is build to honour the bigots...

so what to expect from s5? The Duffers will make sure the gays are persecuted real nicely this time. None of that old 'rejection trope' by a straight friend. Kill him? why go so easy on the miserable, wistful gay guy? No way in hell. They'll shake something straight out of the history book.

btw this is the last shot of final season.

----THE END----

[quack-quack-snacks]

Sleepy

My Navigation and Masterlist

Pairing(s): Gwi-nam x Fem!Reader Author's Note: For the sake of fanfiction - and this applies to all of my aouad stories unless stated otherwise - we shall make it so that Gwi-nam never sexually assaulted/harassed Eun-ji and neither did his friend group because what they did WAS SA/SH and I feel like so many people gloss over that fact. They have never SA/SH anyone and are just regular bullies who just harass and beat people up normally.  Summary: Even turning into a zombie won't stop Gwi-nam from getting back to you before you wake up. Warnings: Normal AOUAD gore and violence, Gwi-nam pushing that girl to her death in the kitchen scene, I think that's it but lmk if there's any more you can find! Word Count: 6,106

Lunch.

One of your favorite parts of the day, because everybody is too preoccupied with their food and their friends to look at you. You always sat alone at your table, right in the middle of the lunch room. You had a great view of everybody around you from here. People-watching became something you were used to doing. 

You didn’t really have any real friends, only ones you would talk to occasionally in the halls and at the beginning of classes. You never would actually text them outside of class, and the conversations would dull after the topic of school stopped, but you liked them nonetheless. You were more of an introvert anyways so not requiring yourself to make friends outside of school was nice. No requirements or plans to attend. There was really only one person who you would actually consider your friend; the only person you would willingly get out of bed to hang out with. 

And he was currently throwing pieces of broccoli at the back of your head.

Yoon Gwi-nam. The school bully’s gopher and, unfortunately, your best friend. You’d been his friend since 7th grade before he joined the group of the bad and left you alone. You weren’t too upset since he still hung out with you outside of school and showed you his friendly affection in other ways - such as with the broccoli bits that were tangled in your hair at the moment - but it got lonely at times. You also knew he only was in their group because of how you’d gotten bullied at the beginning of freshman year and he stood up for you. From there, he also got bullied until one day it just… stopped. For the both of you. The next time you saw him, he was smirking with an arm wrapped around Myeong-hwan’s shoulder as the boy berated a timid-looking girl who had tears running down her cheeks. 

He’d explained everything after school when you’d been ignoring him and you reluctantly agreed to his actions, knowing he was doing it for your benefit as much as, if not more than, his. You didn’t like it, but you weren’t sure of any way to stop him after he’d already dug himself too deep. 

Another broccoli piece hit your head and you leaned your head down to hide your face and your smile. To everyone, you just looked like another one of Gwi-nam and Myeong-hwan’s victims but this wasn’t bullying. This was something you had been doing since the both of you were in seventh grade. It was a test to see how long you could go without getting annoyed and if it lasted more than 10 minutes then you got a beautiful reward of a nice, crisp 5 dollar bill. If you lost, you had to lose said nice, crisp 5 dollar bill. 

The constant hitting was getting on your nerves and you prepared yourself to lose $5 just until you saw students. They were acting weird, crowding around the glass wall leading to the outdoors and screaming. They banged on the door until it broke and everyone fell to the ground in a pile. You stood up to rush forward to help them but stopped halfway across the room when you saw blood.

They were… eating each other.

You stood there paralyzed as you watched and couldn’t move even as one of them started rushing towards you. Just as the bloodied student got within a foot of your face, it was suddenly launched backward by a familiar sneaker.

“Are you okay?” You heard Gwi-nam ask you and scream your name but you just stared in shock at the body that contorted on the floor before it shot back up and roared. Just as it started to charge at you, Gwi-nam yanked you as he grabbed a lunch tray and slammed it across the beast’s face. It fell to the ground and Gwi-nam grabbed your hand to drag you away from the swarm. The sprinklers had turned on from the kitchen catching on fire and suddenly everything was slippery and you could barely keep your footing.

Correction, you couldn’t keep your footing. You slipped to the ground and Gwi-nam’s hand fell from your own when he was tackled by a zombie. He only barely was able to grab another lunch tray and stick it between the beast’s teeth before it could bite him. You quickly stood up and kicked the zombie off of him, slipping while trying to lift Gwi-nam and running hand in hand towards the closing doors of the kitchen. You crouched down and ducked under the metal table before any of the ones in the room could see you. Quickly after, you were joined by two others, a boy and a girl. 

“Get out! No!” Gwi-nam whisper-yelled as he tried to force them back out but you just pulled his hands away from the boy’s hair. 

“Gwi-nam stop! They’ll hear us! Just let them in,” you whispered to him and he rolled his eyes but knew you were right. As everyone piled in, you almost yelped when your legs got pushed out into the walkway but held your hand over your mouth as you pulled your legs back in, holding your breath as you waited to see if any zombie had seen you. Luckily they hadn’t. 

Gwi-nam cursed and glared at the boy who had unintentionally, or maybe intentionally, pushed your leg out. He grabbed you by the waist, pulling you in between his legs so you were laying against his chest to make room for the two as you curled in on yourself. You were too much in shock to think about the crush you’d been harboring for him for years as the first of many tears started to fall down your cheek. A small and almost inaudible whimper escaped your lips but Gwi-nam heard it and quickly used one of his hands to cover your mouth while the other wrapped around your waist and pulled your back further into his chest as he rocked you slightly. No other sounds left you but the tears continued to fall. 

The girl across from you wasn’t as lucky. She whimpered loudly as she cried and you reached out to take her hand, trying to get her to calm down but she just cried louder. 

Gwi-nam let go of your mouth and waist to reach forward and wrap his hands around her face to cover her mouth. “Shh! Shut the fuck up!” He gritted out through his teeth quietly. His head snapped up when he heard snarling before making the quick decision to just kick her out from under the table. She screamed, attracting all of the zombies’ attention and she tried to get up and run away but they got her. You covered your mouth as your breathing quickened and clenched your eyes tightly together. Gwi-nam pulled you into his chest and your head rested in the crook of his neck. The water from the sprinklers was still dripping down the sides of the table the three of you hid under. Your clothes and hair were soaked completely and so were Gwi-nam’s. More tears fell from your eyes and you clinged to his shirt tightly. 

“Go get it,” you heard the boy from above tell the boy across from the two of you. 

“No. I won't,” he protested, whimpering when he saw the glare on his face grow. 

“You stupid little…” Gwi-nam reached forward to grab onto his hair and yanked it. 

“Stop. Please!” He begged. “Just send her! She’s crying just like the other girl was!” He suggested, thinking he was giving a good solution. 

Gwi-nam didn’t speak for a second and you heard the boy let out a sigh of relief when his hair was released. “You know what, you’re right,” you heard him say and your body tensed. He wasn’t actually going to send you out there, was he? “She is crying.”

You forced your body to relax, accepting whatever would happen to you next but tensed back up in surprise when Gwi-nam kicked the boy out into the open. 

“But she’s important.”

The boy quietly started crying when he saw the zombies running towards him and latching onto his leg. He grabbed onto your leg, pulling you with him as he begged for help. 

“Please, help!” He dragged you out from under the table and you had to bite your tongue to keep from screaming as you desperately kicked at his hands. Gwi-nam came up from behind you and dragged you away, helping you to your feet before moving the both of you to dodge a zombie approaching him from behind. He quickly pushed you down so you were climbing through the space under the metal table before following closely behind and moving out of the way just as you put another, smaller, table in between the space of the two of you and the zombie. It just barely stopped the zombie from underneath, who you realized was the girl Gwi-nam had kicked out from under the table, from biting the two of you as she reached desperately but to no avail. As the two of you took a deep breath of relief from the zombie being out of reach, you quickly tugged Gwi-nam away by the sleeve after seeing another zombie approaching from the right and pushed a moving cart in front of the undead boy, causing him to fall over and scramble to get up. You both backed up and you heard someone trying to get your attention from beside you. 

“Hey, kids. Down here. Come quick!” The older lunch lady told you and motioned for you to join her under the countertop. You let out a breath of relief as you moved towards her but it faltered when you saw the zombie you knocked over with the cart get up and rush towards you. Gwi-nam quickly grabbed your wrist and moved you out of the way as he grabbed the woman’s outreached hand and pulled her in front of him just as the zombie latched its teeth onto her neck. Her screams echoed through the small room and you let out a shaky breath as he pushed both the woman and the zombie away before rushing forward, your hands still interlocked, and trying to get to the other side of the kitchen. He stopped short and turned around to go the other direction when he saw the boy who suggested throwing you to the zombies contort his body in odd ways before getting up and scrambling towards you. Another zombie ran towards Gwi-nam but he stopped just short to avoid being the next victim of the virus, pulling you away from the zombie boy sneaking up on you from behind. Gwi-nam bent down suddenly and grabbed a knife, holding it out in front of him as he pushed you behind him and into a corner. Feeling useless, you looked around for something, anything, to help and luckily saw a butcher’s knife laying on a cutting board where lettuce pieces were scattered around on. As Gwi-nam was looking at one of the zombies on the other side of the room, the girl trapped underneath the metal table had escaped and jumped towards him before you grabbed her hair to yank her back, slashing her across the neck and getting blood scattered across your hand and face. You didn’t have any time to be disgusted or wipe yourself off when the lunch lady came up to you, now zombified, and tried to pull your arm into her mouth only for you to slash her across the face with your knife and then again across her throat, successfully making her drop to the floor in a lifeless heap. You looked over just in time to see the boy who turned the lunch lady into a zombie charge for Gwi-nam only to be thrown to the ground after he stabbed him through the neck with his own knife. Hastily, the two of you killed off the remaining zombies in the room together and breathed heavily after you finished. 

You walked over to the sink and grabbed a paper towel from a roll to your left before wetting it and wiping down your face before turning to Gwi-nam and walking over to him. It wasn’t a lot, but he had blood drops scattered along his face so you gently reached up to wipe them away and he just watched you in silence with an unknown look in his eyes as you did. 

Once you were done, you let your hand fall to your side and dropped the wipe to the side with a heavy sigh. The sound of creaking was heard to the side and the both of you looked over in fear as the gate protecting you from the horde of zombies surrounding the kitchen started to break in some areas. “We should go. I don’t think that will hold them for much longer. Especially since they know we’re in here and probably won’t back down anytime soon,” you told him and he nodded in agreement. He looked around before setting his eyes on the window of the room and pointing to it. 

“There. We can use that to leave. We definitely can’t use the kitchen entrance so I think this will be the best option,” he explained and you hummed in agreement as you both walked up to it. You saw a lever to the side and quickly unlatched it before pushing the window open and looking around outside to see if there was anything, or anyone, out there that would put either of you at risk. The sun was going down and it was harder to see but you looked over and saw a small alleyway that appeared to be empty. You quickly jumped up onto the windowsill and Gwi-nam frantically put his hands on your waist to stop you from falling, which you let out a small laugh at. You sent him a look behind your shoulder and he rolled his eyes before playfully pretending to push you forward which you flinched at but then let out a small laugh. Jumping down onto the other side of the window, you kept watch as Gwi-nam helped himself get over the sill to hop down beside you. The both of you snuck behind the alleyway and peeked behind the wall to look for any escape. By that point,  the sun had faded behind the horizon and the world was encased in darkness besides the lights that automatically turned on from the school’s lampposts. Looking around, you noticed a bike. Without looking, you lightly tapped Gwi-nam on the chest to get his attention and pointed at it. 

“Fuck, luck us,” he exclaimed quietly and looked around to see how much of a risk the path to the bike was. “All we need to do is get to the bike.”

Grabbing your hand in one of his and his knife in the other, he quickly set a path to there. You noticed zombies had realized your appearance and tried to tug him back but it was too late. Letting go of his hand, you grabbed an oncoming zombie by the shoulders and threw it to the ground behind you, helping Gwi-nam up from where he’d fallen. You both sprinted to the vehicle and you grabbed both Gwi-nam and your own knives while he hastily got on the bike, trying to get it started and going quick enough for you to jump on so the two of you could go. Unfortunately, as he started ascending the bike, the two of you noticed the chain was broken and you cursed at your luck. 

Not so lucky after all. 

Abandoning the bike, the two of you jumped off and made a run for the school’s front entrance. The bike had slowed down the zombies behind you but the ones in front of you were still a risk and you had to stab one to stop it from getting too close. You gave Gwi-nam his knife back after you two had successfully made it back into the building and closed the glass doors behind you. Letting out an exasperated groan, you yanked Gwi-nam’s hand and pulled him along as you saw more zombies chasing after you, these ones inside of the building with you. You both ran around through the corridors, getting cornered by zombies but luckily finding an open door. 

The principal’s office.

You both ran in and Gwi-nam slammed the door shut behind him. You turned around just in time for a zombie to lunge at you and you shoved its chest hard so it fell backwards. Gwi-nam grabbed one that was creeping up behind you and stabbed it a few times through the neck before throwing it over the principal’s desk where you heard it twitching and groaning before going silent. While he dealt with the another one, you handled the other two and the two of you cleared the room with great amounts of exerted effort. 

You bent forward and rested your hands on your knees as you took deep breaths in to try and regulate your breathing. “Fuck. What the fuck. This is so fucked up,” you rambled under your breath and was Gwi-nam carelessly threw his knife down onto the coffee table before resting his hands above his head to try and regulate his own breathing. 

“I hate this fucking school,” he complained and unceremoniously plopped down onto one of the soft chairs in the room. Walking over, you plopped down onto the one next to him and sighed. 

“Let’s just go to sleep for a bit, we’re both too fucking tired to think properly, let alone fight anymore. Maybe tomorrow we can try to find another way out,” you reached over to where a modern rotary phone resided and tried dialing 119 but the dead dial tone playing through showed you that it was either broken or the calling services no longer worked. You sighed in exhaustion before falling to the side and resting your head on the arm rest of the chair. You could feel Gwi-nam’s eyes on you but didn’t bother looking up at him as your eyes fell heavily closed and your breathing seemed to even out on its own. The soft hand that fell onto your hair and gently caressed it away from your face didn’t help in keeping you awake and you felt your consciousness slipping through your fingers like sand at the beach. 

The next morning, Gwi-nam woke with a start as he felt tapping on his arm and turned to see the one and only principal next to him. His hand fell away from where it limply rested atop your head and you let out a small groan of protest in your sleep which he would have thought was adorable if he wasn’t just rudely awoken by one of the last people he wanted to see. “Hey. You're Gwi-nam, right?” The principal asked him while he looked around nervously.

“What? Why?”

“How is it outside? Still the same?” He pestered and Gwi-nam groaned as he realized the situation he was still in, turning over in his seat to try and go back to sleep, now knowing neither you nor him were in any danger. 

“You can drive a car, right?” The principal asked him and he just looked up at him before shaking his head lightly. 

“I can't,” he denied. 

“Come on!” The principal complained. “I had to cover up your mess last year when you guys drove your dad's car and caused an accident!” Gwi-nam just looked around in slight embarrassment before looking back up at him questioningly. 

“Why do you ask?”

The principal reached into his pocket and retrieved a keychain with his car keys attached. “Here's my car key. It's in the parking lot. License plate, 7340,” he turned to go to his desk, opening a drawer and retrieving something from there before closing it loudly. Gwi-nam’s head snapped over to where you were still laying asleep and breathed out a sigh of relief when you didn’t even stir. “Bring it here,” the man walked over with a new pair of fresh socks in his hand and sat down on the couch beside you to put them on. 

Gwi-nam slowly sat up and leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees. “Why?” He questioned. 

“Go to the night duty room and out the window, it's in the lot.”

Gwi-nam groaned, realizing what he was being asked to do and layed back in the chair with his feet resting on the coffee table. His head laid against the back of the cushion and his hand returned to resting on top of your head, lazily scratching your head with his fingertips. “No way.”

“You punk. Listen to your principal at once!” The man arrogantly ordered him but Gwi-nam just sat back up and looked at him in annoyance while he defied him. 

“I said no,” his eyes looked over at his knife just as the principal’s did too and they both reached forward for the object at the same time. The principal was quicker and grabbed onto it, holding it out in front of him awkwardly but threateningly. 

“Give me that,” Gwi-nam demanded before grabbing onto the principal’s wrist and wrestling him for it. “Give me that!”

“You punk!”

“I said to let go!” Gwi-nam raised his voice as he finally got the principal to let go and looked down at you briefly only to see you still sleeping peacefully on the chair. “Damn it,” he sighed quietly and waved the knife back and forth as he looked back at the principal who looked terrified. 

“Fine. Just get out of here.”

“Go with me.” Gwi-nam insisted but the man shook his head in rebuttal. 

“Why should I? You go.”

“Go with me to the car. It'd be nice to have a shield, anyway,” Gwi-nam told him while gesturing to the older man’s body as he explained the purpose he would be using him for. 

“What's wrong with you? Stay away!” The principal picked up a plant pot from beside him and held it above his head as if he was going to throw it. 

“My god. Look at you,” Gwi-nam degraded and rolled his eyes at how pathetic he looked. “All right, Mr. Principal. If this were a game, I'd be… happy to kill you… sir.”

“Stop! Stay away!” The older man begged after Gwi-nam took a step forward, his voice raising. “Why don’t you just take her!” He pointed down to where you were still sleeping peacefully, undisturbed by the loud noises coming from above around you and Gwi-nam hosted a smile for a moment before turning back to glare at his so-called principal. 

“God, why does everything suggest that?” He took another threatening step forward. “Is it so fucking hard to see that she’s important to me? I guess everyone is just too fucking dense to see it.” The principal looked worried for his own safety and suddenly Gwi-nam had wrestled him down so he was pressed against the coffee table with his chest down. “And keep it down, would you? She may be a fucking deep sleeper but anyone would wake up with a voice annoying as yours blaring in their ears.”

Suddenly, the door burst open and a familiar face popped in. 

Cheong-san looked back and forth between the two of them, his eyes falling on the sleeping girl on the couch before training back on where Gwi-nam had the principal restrained against the table. 

“Is that the principal?” He questioned, confused.

“Get this jerk off my back!” The older man protested and begged. “Get this psychopath!”

“Shh! I told you to shut the fuck up, didn’t I?” Gwi-nam grabbed his collar roughly to stop him from talking.

“What the hell, Gwi-nam?” Cheong-san asked the bully only to receive no answer but a demand instead. 

“Cheong-san. Come here and tie his arms. The bastard won't stay still.”

“Hey. What are you doing?” He questioned with his eyes blown wide in shock.

“Come and tie him up,” Gwi-nam tried again. 

“You're finished. Do you hear me? I'm expelling you! Untie me now!” The principal yelled only for Gwi-nam to shush him again and press his knife against his throat.

“Gwi-nam! Stop that!”

“Stop what? This fucking guy…” he stood up, pointing towards the helpless and pathetic man on the table before pointing the knife towards himself. “Tried to kill me. He said to go out and get his car!” He then switched the knife to his other hand and pointed his now knife free hand towards you. “And he tried to make me use her as a shield!” Gwi-nam leaned back down over the principal and pressed the knife onto his neck again. “You call yourself a principal.”

He suddenly got off of the principal and hid the knife behind his back as he saw Cheong-san bring out a phone from his pocket and start recording him.

“That's right. Good idea!” The principal praised Cheong-san’s quick thinking.

“I'm filming everything,” the boy explained. “Let go, or I'm gonna send this to the police immediately.”

“You little… I will kill you,” Gwi-nam threatened. 

“Just stop acting like human garbage. No one respects you just because you act tough.”

“I'm the new boss of this school,” Gwi-nam explained to him like it was obvious. “Don't you get it?”

“Don't make me laugh. You're just a fucking loser who will serve bullies for his entire life,” Cheong-san spat at him and Gwi-nam’s face fell to a much more intimidating and annoyed one. He let his arms fall from behind his back, the knife no longer hidden from the camera. 

“Yeah? Say that again,” Gwi-nam dared him but turned around after the principal had maneuvered himself off the table so he was near you, his leg pumped into yours and you stirred faintly which caused Gwi-nam to rush forward, slicing the side of the principal’s neck where he fell to the floor and bled out. 

He walked towards Cheong-san who lowered the phone down in shock after seeing what he just witnessed. “You fucking…” Cheong-san couldn’t finish his sentence because of his shock as Gwi-nam walked towards him slowly, wiping the blood from his knife into his red-stained white button up shirt. 

“So am I… still a loser? Are you with me or not? The phone,” Gwi-nam stuck his hand out as he demanded him to give him the phone with the video on it. 

“You just murder-”

“Give me the phone!”

Gwi-nam lunged forward, trying to slash at Cheong-san who narrowly avoided his attack. The two ran around each other and scuffled for a bit before Cheong-san got ahead and ran out of the room with the cell phone in his possession. The zombies in the hall followed after him and Gwi-nam ran after him before turning back to look at you where you were still sleeping. It amazed him how heavy of a sleeper you were, not waking up even after all of that chaos. He rushed forward, giving you a sweet kiss on your forehead before silently promising you he would be back, running out the door and softly closing it behind him before chasing after Cheong-san. 

Soon enough, the two ended up in the library. After seeing Cheong-san getting mauled off of the top of a bookshelf, Gwi-nam jumped on top of the bookshelf and yanked the shirt of the boy who pushed him off, successfully returning the favor and causing the zombies to lunge for the fallen boy. Gwi-nam chased after Cheong-san, both boys avoiding zombies whenever they came into near contact with them. The latter had jumped up onto a bookshelf but was stopped when a couple of zombies had tried to pull his leg down so he would fall. He managed to kick them off him and got onto the bookshelf but one followed him up. It miscalculated its jump and slammed into the light, bringing it down with it as it fell to the ground. Cheong-san had no time to breathe in relief as he saw Gwi-nam appear on top of another bookshelf and jump after him. They both scrambled after and away from each other, now crouching next to each other only separated by the gap of the two bookshelves and the zombies below. 

“Cut it out,” Cheong-san grit out while both of them breathed heavily.

“Give me the fucking phone,” Gwi-nam demanded and held out his hand, waiting impatiently. He was desperate to get back to you, desperate to just hold you again and finally be able to say what he’d been too much of a coward to for the past three years. Now might as well be the perfect time. 

“You killed the principal. You're a murderer.”

“You made me kill him, you shit!” Gwi-nam hissed. “You wanted proof I wasn't a coward.”

“You're insane.”

Gwi-nam slowly stood up, ready to fight and Cheong-san followed his lead. They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment before Cheong-san dashed in the other direction. Gwi-nam followed and lunged for the boy’s legs, knocking him down so he hit his head on the top of a bookshelf before falling to the floor where zombies quickly followed after and tried to take a bite of his flesh. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on who you asked, Cheong-san managed to get back up on a bookshelf only to find Gwi-nam already there. He kicked him in the stomach only to have ended up landing on his back with Cheong-san on top of him, trying to stop all of his attacks. The bookshelf rattled from the two’s fighting and from the zombies below trying to knock them over. 

Gwi-nam noticed the pulling the zombies had been doing to the bottom of his pant leg and screamed at them, “Get off me!”

Just as he managed to get the zombies off and stood up, Cheong-san pulled down the light above them and slammed it against Gwi-nam’s back. An act that seemed to have no effect. The boy grabbed Cheong-san and slammed him down against the bookshelf before forcing his head over the edge and making it so he was dangling above the zombies who reached up and tried to grab at his hair. 

“Should I save you?” Gwi-nam taunted. “What do you say? Beg for your life. Come on.”

“Screw you,” the other boy refused and Gwi-nam pulled his head up to punch him a few times, succeeding in knocking him out before searching his pants for the phone. 

Just as he found it and tried to search for the photos app, Cheong-san woke up again and hit the phone out of his reach, just barely managing to catch it in his other hand above the zombie horde who reached endlessly for a bit of his flesh. Gwi-nam angrily resorted to choking him to try and get him to either pass out again or to reluctantly give him the phone.

Neither of which happened.

Gwi-nam screamed and whimpered in agony as he found himself with the edge of the phone lodged in his eyes, screaming even more as he then found himself being pushed off of the bookshelf and into the void of death below. 

He fought for a way out, pushing the zombies away but only ending up to where he was laying against the top of a table and the zombies piled on top of him. He reached out for Cheong-san, now begging for his own life in an act of life’s cruel irony. “Damn it! Shit! Help me! Cheong-san! Fuck! Oh, please!” He begged and begged but Cheong-san only looked down at him before looking away, trying to plan for his escape. Gwi-nam cursed him silently, vowing to end his life and not let him get away with this.

“I'll kill you. I will kill you. Fuck you,” He cursed him in his head. “I'll…”

He stopped moving all together as his body gave in to the call of death, only leaving one last thought as he left the land of the living. 

You.

Less than an hour later, Gwi-nam awoke in the same spot on the table, confused and scared as zombies still surrounded him. He looked down and pinch lightly at where he saw a bite mark had appeared on his stomach. “Oh, shit. Did I die? Am I dead?”

Suddenly zombies came running towards him after hearing the noise. He gasped and flinched back as he prepared himself to be attacked again only for the zombie to stop short after smelling him. More followed but none attacked him. They all just turned away like there was nobody there. 

“Hey!” He experimented after the zombies turned around, looking for their next prey. They all turned back to him but turned back around after not smelling fresh meat. 

A small smirk started to cover his face as he started to realize what was happening. “Aren't you gonna eat me, you zombie bastards?”

When they all growled but made no move to attack him. He let out a confused laugh before deciding to stand up, still cautious of the zombies surrounding him. When none of them tried to go after him, the fear he harbored started to dim and he gained more confidence with every step. He walked up to where a cracked mirror was and took slow steps as the memory of Cheong-san stabbing him with the edge of the phone refilled his mind. He slowly touched his eye, wincing when it stung a tiny bit but much less than he expected it to. 

“Cheong-san, you son of a bitch! I'll kill you,” he vowed before his one good eye widened in realization. “Fuck!” 

He started panicking as he thought about you being all alone before realizing he had closed the door and you were safely inside, probably still asleep from how deep of a sleeper you were. He calmed down and walked around, finding a ONE HEART club jacket and putting it on after taking off his blood-stained white button-up. 

“What the fuck?” He sighed as he put the jacket on and zipped it up. “That means…” He paused as he looked around at the zombies who were growling and running into the walls around him. “I'm God.”

He rolled his eyes at the zombies before making his way back towards the principal’s office. He opened the door quickly and entered the room before any zombies could follow up behind him. He walked over and saw you in the same position he had left you in with your head resting on the arm rest and your legs curled up. He let out a small and quiet laugh as he walked over, making sure to be quiet as he gently lifted you from the couch and gathered you in his arms so you were sitting on his lap with your head resting against the curve of his neck. You let out a small groan of protest as your eyes fluttered open slightly. 

“Gwi-nam?” You whispered out in confusion and tried to lift your head but he just gently pushed you back into his chest which you followed without any more complaint. “Where’d you go?” You asked, your words mumbling together and he cursed himself for you waking up while he was absent. 

“I just had to deal with some things, but I’m back now.”

“You should’ve woken me up,” you scolded him lightly while wrapping your arms around his torso. 

“But then you would’ve been awake and I would’ve had to listen to your dumbass scolding me,” he teased lightly and you lightly slapped the back of his arm from where you were holding him. 

“Jerk.”

He smiled softly and leaned his head on top of your own, his cheek pressed to your crown, waiting for you to go back to sleep. He wasn’t satisfied until he heard your breathing even out once more. Lifting his head up, he looked down at you with a soft gaze as you breathed in deep breaths through your nose. Every exhale would softly blow against his neck but he didn't care. He tried to suppress his emotions but couldn’t stop the love bubbling underneath his skin and threatening to escape. He leaned down and pressed a loving kiss to your forehead before leaning his head back onto yours and closing his eyes, trying to get more sleep of his own. 

“To hell with Cheong-san,” he thought to himself. “I’m never leaving you again.”

[miwiheroes]

Arguments I think we should stop using for Byler and why:

Let me know if you have any thoughts about these! This post isn't made to give anyone byler doubt btw omg, my intention is to actually cure it, because I feel like some of these arguments are made as an overcompensation as a result of doubt so-

"Why do people say that two boys falling in love in the 80s is unrealistic? This show is about monsters and a different dimension!"

This argument is pretty much always a joke, which i don't mind, but using it as a genuine rebuttal isn't going to get us anywhere. People in general are far more likely to believe the impossible--things like monsters and super powers--than the improbable--things like two boys in the 80s falling in love. I feel like, instead, we should be focusing in on the fact that two boys falling in love in the 80s is an important thing to represent because it was improbable and "unrealistic". The reason why it feels so unrealistic to happen is because there is actually very little representation of it happening successfully, therefore, if we see more representation of it, it won't be seen as unrealistic anymore. Also, I don't believe that the audience really understands that what they're watching is not supposed to be a shot for shot realistic protrayal of real life. This isn't just about monsters and shit, this show is about love. Yes it's cheesy, but it's not unrealistic for a show about love - which portrays unique loving relationships like platonic love between a random guy and a lesbian - to portray a queer love story which honestly isn't even that hard to wrap one's head around.

"Mike didn't care about El until she pointed to Will's photo. He only cared about her because she helped find Will."

Okay this one is wayyy more nuanced than just him only caring about her because of Will. He is a heroic human being, and this is supposed to be portrayed by him taking her into his home, not out of romantic love, but just out of goodness of character. He is a very sweet person at the beginning of S1 because he's curious about El and acts different to Lucas and Dustin. Although, there are definitely things to show that he doesn't love her romantically here, like him trying to get rid of her and get her back to her family or something. I think the argument above in bold actually is an overcompensation for how he acts around her in S1. He treats her like a friend when showing her around, but Bylers might be afraid that looks too romantic. Don't worry guys, I really think it's Mike being himself. Acting friendly and nice around El is just part of his character to me. He also decides to not have her talk to his mom when she says she's in trouble, so it's not all about Will. However!!! He does decide to commit to hiding her and begins to place her on a pedestal when she starts to make an effort to find Will.

"Mike and El are on bad terms at the end of S4 so they won't be together in S5."

This argument was also used at the end of S3 (see the byler slides), saying that technically, Mike and El weren't actually together by the end of S3. Then they were together in S4. Here's the thing. This show isn't all about telling and not showing. It's about the opposite. Just because they didn't tell the audience "we're back together now!!!" doesn't mean that they aren't. At the end of S3, for example, El going "I love you too" implies that they are back together and that their relationship is now going to be more grown-up unlike in S3. Because of the love monologue at the end of S4, I can genuinely see Mike and El being back together at the beginning of S5. I can see them actually saying I love you to each other a la Steve and Nancy S2. Like, come on guys, isn't our whole argument that you can say I love you to someone and not actually be telling the truth? Also, Finn has confirmed that Mike and El will be together "going into" season 5, and the time skip between March 1986 and Nov. 1987 shows to me that they are still going to be together, and that they are saying I love you because El would not be staying in that relationship if he continues not to say it. More problems in their relationship are going to be revealed, beyond him being able to say I love you or not.

"This actor ships Byler so Byler endgame."

Uh oh,,,, if you start saying this, you can easily get a rebuttal from a Milkvan saying that so and so ships Milkvan, so... I honestly think that people saying they like Byler as a ship can be somewhat seen as a little hint they could possibly be endgame but tbh, it's not a full proof. To me, proof from the actors comes from what they don't say about Byler. They don't treat it like Stonathan, Ronance and Steddie. They treat it like a possibility, like a spoiler. The other queer ships of ST are treated like cool things that would have been interesting if they had happened. Byler is never treated as something that would have been cool. It's something that could happen. My confidence comes from when the actors are more ambiguous about Byler than when they're completely, utterly on board with it. Except for Noah, because he's definitely allowed to ship it, because his character is literally in love with Mike.

[adascore]

Fouled Dreams | L. Oberdorf

pairings: lena oberdorf x dutch!reader (+ plays for bayern) / netherlands national team x reader / german national team x dutch!reader

warnings: netherlands losing. crying. swearing. changed some things about the match, but the result is the same. fouls. mentions of bruising and swelling.

author’s: been obsessed with her lately so just had to write something. writing about nations league losses have become my thing I fear :(

masterlist

•••••••

February, 2024

They'd know beforehand that this situation could happen, yet when both their teams lost in the semifinals, it was hard to grasp the reality that one needed to beat the other in order to go to the Olympics in Paris.

Herself and Lena had played plenty of times against each other, with both their respective clubs and national teams.

However, this felt different.

Their previous international meetings had merely been friendlies in preparations for other competitive events like the World Cup a year prior.

This was for a spot at the Olympics.

Y/N had been at the previous edition in Tokyo with the Dutch team, where they had stranded in the quarterfinals against the United States on penalties.

Lena had never played at the Olympic Games, something she greatly wanted to achieve with her German teammates.

Both teams also wanted to redeem themselves after disappointing World Cup exits.

There were many things at stake.

Of course, headlines and articles had been made about how the couple was going to go head-to-head in a very important match for both sides.

Prior to their arrivals at the stadium, they hadn't seen each other for a few weeks. Lena played for Wolfsburg, while Y/N was a striker for Bayern Munich.

Although, Lena's upcoming transfer to Bayern would assure they would only have to miss each other during international breaks.

The young footballers had gotten together about a year prior, all credit to Lynn, Dom and Jill who had played matchmakers.

The distance was difficult at first, but they eventually found a nice balance. It sounded cliche, but communication really is the key to a good relationship.

Y/N was strolling around the pitch with her teammates when the German team appeared in the tunnel.

She didn't notice her girlfriend at first, too occupied in a conversation with Andries and Sherida.

It was Lynn, who so ''sweetly'' screamed for her best friend to ''get her ass over here'' that got her to excuse herself from the discussion with her captain and coach.

''Echte uitslover jij, waar was je nou weer over aan het lullen met hen?'' (''You're a real teacher's pet, what were you bullshitting about this time with them?'') Lynn teased her as she approached her, Lena, Jule and Lea.

Y/N sarcastically smiled at her fellow Dutchwoman. ''Jouw dikke kop!'' (''Your big head!'') She retorted, with Lynn playfully giving her a shove afterwards.

Her eyes lit up once she spotted Lena. Despite the tension of the upcoming match, seeing her face brought a sense of comfort amidst the nerves.

''Hey, everyone.'' Y/N moved to embrace Lea and Jule first, their proximity making them the easiest targets for her initial greetings. She let out an awkward chuckle as she made eye contact with her girlfriend again, but went in for the hug as well.

''Missed you.'' Lena whispered softly, her arms wrapping around her partner's waist in a comforting hold.

''Missed you too.'' Y/N replied, her voice equally gentle.

Their embrace was brief, acutely aware of the prying eyes of the photographers stationed around the field. It wasn't that they were afraid of showing public displays of affection, it was more the discomfort that came with the knowledge that every moment captured on camera would be scrutinized and analyzed by the media and fans alike.

They were far from being a secret- their relationship was an open secret among their teammates and the wider football community. Yet, the constant surveillance felt suffocating at times. So, when they could help it, they kept the PDA to a minimum, opting for subtle gestures and fleeting touches that spoke volumes in their own right.

''My mum and dad are coming tonight.'' Y/N said to Lena, the pair quickly disassociated to their own small bubble.

The German grinned. ''Yeah? That's nice, haven't seen them in a while.'' She replied, her tone warm and genuine.

Y/N nodded, a sense of anticipation building within her at the thought of her parents' arrival. She had a good relationship with her family, they'd been supportive of her love of football from the moment she started and went to almost every game if they could.

''My mum did make a small sign for you, cause she thought you might get upset with her.'' She playfully rolled her eyes at the recalling of her mother sending her a picture of the small poster that said 'Go Lena!'.

Lena chuckled at the mention of her girlfriend's mother's thoughtful gesture, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. ''That's very sweet, I can't wait to see it in person.''

''She's probably gonna want to take a picture of you with it, so you're warned beforehand.'' Y/N laughed, knowing her mother wanted photos of everything and everyone.

''I'll be sure to smile extra wide for the camera then, like this.'' Lena pretended to grin very big, showing off her teeth.

Y/N burst into laughter at her exaggerated pose, her eyes crinkling with amusement. ''Perfect, Obi! Exactly what she wants for a heartwarming photo.'' She teased, mimicking Lena's antics.

''Hey, you two,'' Lynn interrupted their moment, the entire group staring at the couple, ''the loser sleeps on the couch or what?'' The Dutch defender laughed.

Her national teammate mockingly rolled her eyes. ''Lynno, we don't even live in the same place. Idioot dat je bent.'' (''Idiot you are.'') Y/N responded.

Lynn chuckled in response, waving off her friend's playful insult with a dismissive gesture. ''Details, details,'' she replied, a mischievous twinkle in her eye, ''just make sure you've got that couch ready, wherever it may be.''

''I'm sure she has chosen a nice place.'' Lena retorted, chiming in on the banter.

Y/N's mouth gaped dramatically, and her eyes widened, exaggerating her reaction to the playful exchange. ''Actually, since you like breaking ankles, you can just sleep on the floor.''

Lena raised an eyebrow in mock surprise at her girlfriend's response, which drew another round of laughter from the group. ''Oh, I see how it is,'' she teased, ''floor it is, then. I'll bring my sleeping bag.'' She accepted.

She threw her arm around Lena at the feigned sadness over having to bring a sleeping bag, her pout being too cute to not fawn over.

It was a nice moment to have with the group, temporarily forgetting an important match would have to be played a few hours later.

There was a mixed atmosphere in the tunnel as both teams started gathering in a line, familiarizing themselves with their small mascots, who were all looking up at the players with wide-eyed excitement.

The Netherlands' usual captain, Sherida Spitse, had been forced to withdraw from the starting lineup due to a last-minute injury sustained during the warm-up. In her absence, Y/N found herself unexpectedly thrust into the role of captain for the crucial match.

As she entered the tunnel, the weight of the captain's armband felt both familiar and foreign at the same time. While she had stepped into the role of captain before, it had always been in moments of crisis, when Sherida was substituted during a match and Y/N was hastily given the band by one of their teammates.

It was not only a great moment for her, it would be one for her family as well. Though they weren't particularly patriotic, knowing that their daughter had been chosen by the entire Dutch team to lead them out for such an important match filled them with a sense of pride and honor.

Her usual spot in the line would be at the back, next to Lena. It had become almost routine for them to have a small chat before their matches, even when they were with Bayern and Wolfsburg, they were always the last players to enter the stadium.

Y/N held the pennant in her hands tight as she approached her girlfriend, careful to not make a big deal out of it since they were already filming the players as they waited for the officials to walk out.

A small pat on her arm was enough to grab Lena's attention, the German turning her head before a small, but nervous, smile broke out on her face once she noticed who it was.

''Hey, Captain.'' She grinned, her eyes briefly glancing towards where the armband was comfortably wrapped around her partner's bicep.

Y/N smirked once she noticed, but didn't say anything about it. ''Hi,'' she softly said, ''good match, alright? And please, don't break my ankles.'' She teased.

''No promises.'' Lena chuckled, playfully raising her eyebrow.

They shared a final glance before the striker made her way to the front of the line-up, only to be stopped by Dominique. ''Ze gaat sowieso je enkel breken.'' (''No doubt she's going to break your ankle.'') The Dutch defender said, a mischievous look in her eyes.

''Ik weet het.'' (''I know.'') Y/N sighed.

''Dom was right.'' The captain muttered under her breath as she was yet again taking to the ground by one of the German defenders.

It hadn't even been close to half-time yet and the Bayern Munich player had been assaulted from all sides. Funny enough, none of the challenges had been made by Lena- so far at least.

Danielle helped her get up from the ground, quickly checking in. ''I'm fine, Daan.'' Y/N reassured the older player, wiping her knees clean.

The first half proved to be eventful, yet no goals had been made by either side. The goalkeepers were making amazing saves, but both teams had also missed serious chances at scoring the opening goal.

Despite being deployed in Sherida's position as a defensive midfielder, Y/N managed to make an impact in the attacking third. She found herself with two golden opportunities to break the deadlock, however, luck was not on her side as both strikes rattled off the woodwork, denying her the chance to put her team ahead.

The opening minute of the second half was marked by a somewhat surprising moment:

Lena fouled Y/N.

The referee blew the whistle, signaling the late challenge made by the midfielder. Y/N, with a dramatic flair, collapsed to the ground, clutching her leg in feigned agony.

Recognizing the playful nature of the moment, Lena quickly understood that she was only hamming it up for the sake of a breather for her teammates and to ruin the Germans' momentum. However, she still bent down beside her girlfriend.

''You shouldn't go into acting anytime soon.'' Lena chuckled, briefly letting her hand caress over the part that 'allegedly' hurt so bad.

The captain let out a small smile. ''That's mean, you should get a yellow card for descent.''

The midfielder's eyes sparked with amusement as she helped her back up to her feet. ''Maybe later.'' She quipped, playfully nudging her girlfriend's shoulder before they resumed their positions on the field.

It didn't take too long for the fun to be over as Klara put in the first goal of the night, which had been assisted by Lena. About 10 minutes later, another Bayern teammate put one in the back of the net as Lea also got herself on the scoresheet.

As the game wore on, Y/N became increasingly determined to make a difference on the field. However, despite her best efforts, none of her attempts seemed to find the back of the net. Her teammates were not clinical enough, or the shots were deflected by the German defenders.

The more attacks she created, the more aggressive the fouls of the German grew on her.

They seemed determined to shut down Y/N's advances by any means necessary, resorting to increasingly rough challenges to disrupt her rhythm.

She managed to keep the ball from Nüsken, and send a pass to Esmee when a German player made a reckless tackle from behind, catching her off guard. The force of the challenge sent her crashing to the ground, a sharp pain shooting through her ankle.

A wave of concern washed over the stadium and the Dutch team as they watched their most vital player of the evening being abruptly taken out by Giulia.

People close to her rushed to her side, including Giulia who didn't have the intention to actually hurt her Bayern teammate. The referee swiftly intervened, issuing a yellow card.

''Shit, I'm sorry- didn't time it well.'' The midfielder apologized immediately, knowing right away it wasn't a great or necessary challenge.

Y/N made a gesture with her hand, which translated to ''it's okay, just give me space now,'' which Giulia understood, the pair having a great relationship at Bayern.

Lynn was the first of her teammates to reach her, shouting profanities at Giulia and the referee for letting the fouls on her best friend get to the point where she needed the medical team.

''Alles goed, meid?'' (''Everything okay, girlie?'') The Wolfsburg defender asked, concern etched on her face.

''Ik denk dat me enkel er elk moment gaat afvallen.'' (''I think my ankle is going to fall off at any moment.'') She sarcastically replied, rolling her eyes.

Lynn chuckled at her friend's attempt at humor, though the worry still lingered in her eyes. ''Ik hoop van niet, we hebben die nog nodig.'' (''I hope it doesn't, we still need it.'').

Meanwhile, the medical team arrived, quickly assessing Y/N's ankle to determine the extent of the injury. The other players quickly backed off so the staff could work in peace.

Lena noticed her club teammate's concerned expression and approached her quietly. ''How's she doing?'' She asked softly, her eyes flickering toward Y/N, whose ankle was covered in bruises.

Lynn sighed, her hand smoothing down her hair. ''I think she's trying to make it out as if she isn't bothered by it, but it's obvious it hurts- look at it, completely blue.'' The Dutchwoman motioned towards where one of the physios was icing her foot.

The midfielder nodded. ''I hope it's nothing too serious.'' She observed the way her partner was hissing at the way the staff was assessing her ankle, visibly agitated by the pain. She wished she could do more to help, but all she could do for now was offer her support from the sidelines.

The Dutch team held their breath as Y/N gingerly tested her weight on her injured ankle, her expression a mix of determination and discomfort. Every eye on the sideline was fixed on her, silently praying that she would be able to continue.

''As soon as the match is done, you're coming with us to the medical room. I'm surprised you can walk still.'' Their physiotherapist ordered her, glancing down at her iced and taped up ankle.

Andries sent her a thumbs up, asking if she was okay to continue. However, Y/N knew they had used up all their substitutes so there would be no use in forfeiting the game, so she confirmed with a nod that she would carry on.

She could walk on her own to the side of the pitch, though there was a limp in her step. The striker carefully jogged onto the grass as the referee gave her permission to join the match again.

A few tense minutes later, the shrill sound of the referee's whistle pierced the air, signaling the end of the match.

Amidst the disappointment of the Dutch team, the German players erupted into jubilant celebrations. They hugged each other tightly, their faces beaming with joy and relief as they reveled in their hard-earned victory.

The Oranje Leeuwinnen on the pitch dejectedly gave each other hugs and consolations, most with tears in their eyes.

Y/N had lowered herself onto the ice-cold grass, the throbbing pain in her ankle too much to bear. She winced as she cautiously propped herself up against the turf.

She suddenly felt two pairs of arms slip beneath hers, lifting her gently off the ground. Startled, she looked up to see Esmee and Kerstin, their expressions filled with concern as they looked at their captain.

''Kom op, meid,'' (''Come on, girl,') Kerstin gently said, ''je was echt een beest op dat middenveld.'' (''You really were a beast in the midfield.'') The Manchester City player chuckled, trying to lighten up the somber mood.

Esmee nodded in agreement, her grip firm yet gentle as she supported Y/N's weight. The two youngsters guided her towards the waiting medical staff, who had been watching the scene unfold from the sidelines.

Some of their teammates and staff patted their heads and ruffled their hair as they walked across the pitch, offering words of sweet nothingness.

With a reassuring nod from the physiotherapist, Esmee and Kerstin carefully lowered her onto the stretcher, ensuring she was comfortable before the medical team began to carry her inside the stadium for further examination.

The injured player could hear the applause from the bystanders, but it wasn't much solace as the pain and disappointment hit her like a truck. Unable to hold back her emotions any longer, Y/N felt a sob escape her lips, the sound muffled by her hands as she covered her face.

The staff of the Dutch team carrying the stretcher watched with downcast eyes, feeling for the young player who had literally given her body and soul this match.

After what seemed like an eternity of navigating the labyrinthine corridors of the stadium, they finally reached the treatment room. With practiced efficiency, they set to work assessing Y/N's injury, carefully removing her shoe and sock to examine her blue ankle.

As the physiotherapists administered treatment, taping up her ankle and applying ice packs to reduce the swelling, the striker remained silent, lost in her thoughts and emotions.

Once her ankle was securely taped and she was given the green light to proceed, Y/N wasted no time in making her way back to the pitch. The pain was barely noticeable anymore as she walked with quickness in her strides, simply wanting to be with her team.

Surprisingly, the German and Dutch players were still exchanging handshakes with one another, acknowledging each other's efforts or catching up with teammates.

The Dutch captain delicately walked onto the pitch again going for the officials who stood in the center of the big field. On her way there, she shook hands or gave hugs with either her national teammates or club teammates, each of them praising her performance of the night- though the striker didn't feel deserving of it.

With a firm handshake and a nod of acknowledgment, she greeted the officials. One of them had asked about her injury, but the player assured her that she was alright. With a suppressed smile, she turned away from them.

''Y/N…'' She heard a voice next to her, immediately recognizing whose it was.

The Dutch striker tried to beam the best she could, a strained grin plastered on her face. ''Hey.''

Lena hesitantly motioned for a hug, not confident in how to handle the situation. Her girlfriend nodded, opening her arms, and welcoming each other in an embrace in the center of the pitch.

''I know it doesn't look like I am, but I am very happy for you and the girls.'' Y/N mumbled into Lena's neck, her voice thick with emotion as she fought to hold back her tears.

The German midfielder brushed her fingers gently through her hair, a soft sigh escaping her lips. ''Danke,'' (''Thank you,'') she whispered in response, her voice quiet but filled with gratitude. ''I know you're happy for us, you don't need to say it.''

Their embrace lingered for a moment longer, each reluctant to let go. But eventually, they pulled back, their eyes meeting in a silent exchange.

''How's your ankle?'' Lena asked, discreetly peeking at her girlfriend's taped up ankle.

The Dutchwoman shrugged her shoulders. ''It's just very bruised, that's it,'' she dismissed, ''you played really well- nice assist, by the way.'' Y/N changed the subject, not wanting to linger on the topic of her physical well-being.

Lena's cheeks flushed at the compliment. ''Thank you. I meant to score, though.''

The German glanced around the stadium, scanning the crowd. ''Where are your parents sitting?'' She asked.

Y/N pointed towards a section of the stands where her parents were seated, their faces alight with pride and excitement as they waved to them from the crowd. The couple happily waved back at them, Lena lightly chuckling at the poster that her girlfriend's father hastily pulled out of his wife's bag, motioning it around for Lena to see.

''They're so sweet.'' She remarked, her voice filled with affection as she glanced back at Y/N. But as Lena turned her gaze back to her girlfriend, she noticed a sudden shift in her demeanor.

As Y/N watched her family in the stands, a flood of emotions washed over her. She felt a lump form in her throat as she took in the sight of them, their smiles radiating nothing but support for their daughter and her national team. However, it was once she glanced down at the fans around them, downed in orange decorations and clothing, that her true feelings about the outcome of the match came to the surface. The sea of orange seemed to mock her, a painful reminder of the missed opportunities and shattered dreams that had taken place tonight.

The team had fought tooth and nail to simply make it out of the group stages, the late drama at the match against Belgium had filled the squad with newfound confidence and resilience. They'd come so close to their ticket to the Olympics, it was practically in their hands before it had been taken away from them and ripped in millions of pieces.

She couldn't help but feel a sense of profound loss. The weight of the defeat lied heavily on her, feeling somewhat the most responsible for the defeat, as if she had been the only player on her team. Deep down, Y/N knew this was far from the truth- football was a team effort, and their loss was a collective outcome. But the pressure she had felt was immense, spurred on by the absence of key players like Jill, Victoria, and Vivianne.

In the eyes of the Dutch media, Y/N had been hailed as the team's ''saving angel,'' a title that now felt like a heavy burden on her shoulders. She had been the one to step up in critical moments, delivering crucial assists and last-minute goals that had propelled the Netherlands to victory in the past. But tonight, she couldn't replicate that success- something she feared she would be crucified for by the fans and pundits.

Lena's heart ached at the sight of her girlfriend's distress, the lines of worry etched into her brow as she struggled to maintain her composure.

With a gentle touch, she reached out to Y/N, her fingers lightly brushing against her arm as she offered silent support. Lena understood right away what she was thinking as she watched her observe the crowd, it's what she had felt at the World Cup, it's what she had felt when Wolfsburg were knocked out of the Champions League.

Utter and complete disappointment.

''Hey,'' Lena murmured, her voice barely above a whisper as she sought to break through the walls of self-doubt that surrounded Y/N, ''it's okay, you did well.'' She comforted as she pulled her into another embrace, her arms caressing the Dutchwoman's back.

Y/N buried her face against Lena's shoulder, her tears soaking into the fabric of her jersey as she clung to her girlfriend's warmth. ''I wanted it so badly,'' she admitted, ''and I played so fucking bad, missed so many sitters.''

It was frustrating for Lena to hear, especially since her partner was easily one of the best players on the field tonight, and was the sole reason the Netherlands were still in the game the entire match. ''Do you know how hard you made it for us? You kept taking the ball from me.'' She tried to convince her, her voice resolute.

Y/N sniffled, her breath hitching as she struggled to hold back her tears. ''But I could have- I should have done so much better.'' She lamented, her voice muffled against Lena's shoulder.

Lena pulled back slightly, cupping Y/N's face in her hands so she could look into her eyes. ''You did everything you could,'' the midfielder reassured her, her gaze unwavering, ''you were playing out of your position the entire time, you were constantly creating chances for yourself and for your teammates, you were my player of the match- and I'm not just saying that,'' she interrupted herself before her girlfriend could, ''you're a phenomenal player, and I was so proud watching you tonight.''

Y/N's eyes widened with surprise and disbelief at Lena's words. She had been so consumed by her own self-criticism that she hadn't realized how much her partner valued and appreciated her efforts on the field.

She wrapped her arms around her, giving a swift peck on the cheek. ''Love you.''

''Love you too.'' Lena reciprocated, landing a kiss on her girlfriend's cheek as well.

The Dutchwoman glanced to her side, seeing the German team starting to form a huddle with one another. ''Obi,'' she caught Lena's attention, signaling towards her teammates, ''go and celebrate, we'll talk tomorrow, alright?''

As Lena hesitated, Y/N gave her an encouraging smile. ''Seriously, go join them, you're going to Olympics, have fun with them. I'm gonna be mad if you don't.''

''Okay, but we face time tomorrow?'' The young midfielder asked, needing the reassurance.

Y/N chuckled softly, touched by her partner's concern. ''We will. Now go, and party- oh my God.''

With a final nod of understanding, Lena gave her girlfriend's hand a gentle squeeze before reluctantly turning to join the German team in their huddle.

As Y/N watched her disappear into the celebratory chaos, a bittersweet smile touched her lips. She could see her own team waiting for her, already standing in a circle.

She took the spot next to her best friend, as Lynn made space for her to join.

A slight grimace crossed her face as the entire team listened to Andries, prompting the defender next to her to furrow her eyebrows. ''Je enkel?'' (''Your ankle?'') She asked.

With a wry smile, Y/N shook her head. ''Nee, de rugpijn die ik ga hebben na het slapen op de grond.'' (''No, the back pain I'll be having after sleeping on the floor.'') She responded, a teasing smirk on her face.

lena requests are always welcome!

[kbunzzi2oa]

aquarium love....(K.Leehan)

•synopsis -> What happens when suddenly a small trip with your family to the aquarium turns into getting the cute instructors number?

•featuring -> instructor!leehan x f!reader, family members mentioned, fish facts, flirting, teasing, shy leehan and reader.

•W.C -> 688

•[note] -> this story was inspired on a real life event, i went with my family and cousins to the aquarium but minus the instructor part though (❁´◡`❁). Hope yall like this, i thought making leehan the instructor would have been fun! love yall hope you enjoy it!

•now playing..-> ♪..Loose-> (Enhypen), ♪..I GOT YOU-> (TWICE, Lauv) ♪..in the car-> (offonoff), ♪..love note-> (Nahee), ♪..somone to call my lover-> (Janet Jackson), ♪..flowers-> (Aespa)

It was a Sunday night, everyone was out enjoying each others company, the streets where buzzing with people heading home and going out with friends. Meanwhile you and your family and little cousin where going to the aquarium.

As you head inside everything seems to stop and slow down. The saltwater tang of the aquarium always had a special place to your heart. This used to be the old aquarium you used to go when you where little and decided to take your little cousin to show them how much fun it was and it still is. You loved the way the sunlight sliced through the the water, illuminating the vibrant coral and the colorful fish from the tanks. But something felt different either it was the nostalgia this place brought you and the fact your sharing it with your little cousin this feeling or the instructor, Leehan, who was leading the tour.

He was explaining some facts about fish when suddenly his stuttered when his brown Boba eyes caught yours "One amazing artifact is that Sailifish is the-.." His eyes caught yours and his cheeks turn pink as yours become red before he adverts his gaze away with a small smile. "Uhm...sorry as i was saying..." Everything stopped and slowed down for you as you looked at Leehan, you would notice the small things as he would explain. The way the light caught his eyes and they would sparkle, the gestures he would make with his hands and the genuine smile that played on his lips.

As the tour wrapped up you felt someone nudging you until you turn and see your mom with a smug smile "you know..." she trailed softly then whispered "That instructor leehan...hes cute maybe you should get to know him". Your cheeks heat up in embarrassment as you spoke to your mom "mom no way...hes okay...maybe a bit cute..but no way im speaking to him"..your mother rolled her eyes and smiled "Alright if you need us we will be waiting outside give you to some privacy" She winked at you and headed out.

You found yourself lingering near the exist watching the jellyfish when suddenly Leehan aproached with a friendly smile and a pink cheeks. He cleared his throat softly trying to gain your attention "Um...sorry if im bothering you but i came over to say your really pretty..." He was looking down at his feet until looking up and meeting your puzzled and shocked one. "o-oh thank you i..um..i didnt expect that.." You say shocked but a big smile forms on your lips..until he talks again.."Can i give you my number so we can be friends and maybe sometimes go out?" you nodded your head and you both quickly took out your phones and exchanged numbers.."Never got your name pretty girl?"..... "Its y/n.." you say softly "Leehan, nice to meet you y/n!" You both chit-chatted for awhile until his coworkers called him to continue his shift.."ill see you later y/n, okay?".."okay..see ya!" He starts walking away backwards until he accidentally bumps into a tank before turning away and throwing a kiss at you. You walk away all giddy and happy.

[justarandomguyintheworld]

Alien Stage new Mizi Comic Analysis!!

Long ass, scene by scene analysis for funsies.

1-7: Mizi is crying over Till when Sua walks over. She leans down and looks at her with hollow eyes. It’s super creepy, horror-like, and very reminiscent of older Vivinos works (like My September). 

Sua is dead, but she’s ALWAYS haunting the narrative. I feel like ‘Sua’ here is just the voice and face Mizi gave to her own internalised guilt. 

8: ‘Sua’ asks if Mizi feels like a waste. I think this could refer to two things.

1: Mizi was unable to save anyone. She couldn’t save Sua, Till, and even Hyuna died because Mizi insisted on coming back. Mizi failed. She survived, but everyone she cared about is gone.

2: A more metaphoric/real world meaning behind it is the homophobic reason. A lot of LGBTQ people (usually conventionally attractive ones, and mostly lesbians), are told they’re a ‘waste’ because they can’t ’have children’ and ‘benefit society’. And when it comes to lesbians, it’s because a man can’t have her so she’s a ‘waste’. Now, the alien stage world isn’t like ours, but there’s clearly still lingering societal norms. For example, the next few slides.

9: Here, it fades into a flashback with Mizi and a blond classmate (I’m gonna call him Luke). I’m not sure whether ‘Sua’ calling her cunning is her own thought, or Luke saying it, but I’m gonna assume it was just herself. 

I think that these societal norms are still instilled in humans, even though earth is long gone, because the aliens need the males and females to ‘breed’ and make new ‘pets’. So, in my theory, they were likely taught in school about how men and women are ‘supposed’ to be together. 

Any small connection between them is a way for the aliens to get more pets and is highly encouraged. It’s also because having the alien stage competitors form strong relationships with each other provides for a lot more drama that I’m sure the viewers eat up. 

10-13: Here, Luke starts criticising her about her closeness with Till. Mizi, however, assumes it’s about Sua because that’s who she’s closest to. The scenes of Sua show how exhausted she is, and how she’s being paraded around like a doll. Mizi also mentions a fight, which gives a lot of depth to Mizisua. It’s not as wholesome as a lot of ppl thought it was, and they’re actually super messed up. Like. Super. 

14-17: Then, Luke reveals he’s actually talking about Till. Mizi is immediately amused because she has never considered him in that way at all. 

She says they’re just friends, but Luke interrupts her and claims guys and girls can’t be friends. From his blush/smile, he’s definitely ramping up to a confession. 

He says how guy and girl friends are always destined to fall in love and ‘mate’. Mizi is obviously confused and is hearing this for the first time. After all, she’s never had these feelings for guys (lesbian). Luke mentions how he’s a guy, who’s her friend (wink wink, nudge nudge), probably about to say they should ‘mate’, but Mizi interrupts him.

18-22: Mizi calls it gross, which is absolutely correct. The notion that guys and girls can’t be friends without falling in ‘love’ is extremely heteronormative and homophobic. Unlike what a lot of people thought, homophobia and social norms DO exist in alien stage. 

Of course, Mizi is naturally friendly. But she doesn’t have those feelings for any of her male friends. But then, he slaps her. And he looks SCARY. Mizi is just as shocked as the reader is. 

I’m guessing he was hurt that she called what he said gross, implying that his feelings are gross or wrong. He feels like she owes it to him because they’re friends to reciprocate. 

23-26: Mizi is horrified. Luke goes on a rant about how she’s aware of what she’s doing- leading them all on. It ’must be nice, right?’ for her to get love with her prettiness and her ‘smile’ so ‘easily’. He claims she knows how he felt, that she knows she has a ‘bunch of idiots’ circling her. 

This whole thing is a very rape culture, victim blaming type thing. It’s the same thing a lot of men do- assume they’re entitled to a woman’s affection/body just because she exists. 

In alien stage, love is the downfall of everyone. Sua died for love, Ivan died for love, Till died for love, Hyuna died for love. Mizi, who everyone loves so much, has so many people who are willing to die for her. 

That’s how she survives. Luke knows this. To an extent, Mizi knows this as well. Maybe the ‘face’ she puts up is a subconscious defence mechanism. A way to survive. Humans are all about connection, and it’s the most powerful thing they have. 

I don’t personally agree with this, but an interpretation I’ve seen is that Mizi IS intentionally manipulating people to ‘use’ them, but she never thought it would work at such an extent (Sua dying for her, Till staying for her).

Continuing on, Luke is blaming Mizi for his feelings, for not reciprocating. He also might be realising the kind of relationship Mizi has with Sua. 

27-32: Luke calls her disgusting and filthy. Again, rape culture. Basically slut-shaming her just because she’s pretty and has so many guys after her. He feels like she owes him something for the feelings HE has. 

Mizi cries and apologises, but she’s still smiling. She’s still wearing that ‘face’ of kindness. She apologises again and again, even though she doesn’t even know what she did wrong.

This may be the first time she’s realising the ‘face’ she uses for safety can hurt her or can be seen through. I don’t think Mizi ever intentionally manipulated people. I think she was just friendly because that’s who she is. Though she has darker things inside that she hides, hence the ‘face’ of innocence and cheeriness. 

And then Mizi runs off to see Sua- the one person she’s closest to, likely the only one she’s shown her other faces to. She runs away, smiling and crying, because she really doesn’t understand. 

Why did she have to get hit? Why is being kind so wrong? Why does she have to have feelings for Till? But slowly, she’s starting to believe that it really was her fault she got hit. She led him on. 

Since she doesn’t reciprocate all of these guys’ affection like you’re ’supposed to’ she must be using them and leading them all on, just like Luke said.

33-35: Now she’s with Sua, her love. We can see how quickly she’s changed- back to being cheerful, kind and innocent. Her ‘face’ is up for Sua, because she knows that Sua likes her like that. 

Sua likes her brightness and innocence. She even makes excuses for Luke, taking the blame for his actions. She says how happy she is just to be with Sua. Even after all the turmoil she went through, she’s performing so she can stay loved. So she can stay safe. 

Even here, she’s hiding the half of her face with the bruise on it. Shes not showing her whole self right now. Because everyone only loves the performance she puts on. Sua, of course, notices this.

36-38: This next part we witness Sua being her amazing toxic self. She’s not those others that Mizi has to put a face on for. She’s different than them, and she needs to remind Mizi that she’s the only true one. Despite Mizi’s happiness, Sua can’t agree. 

She’s exhausted from her Mother taking her around and keeping her busy, probably showing her off like a trophy. Her eyes are hollow with bags under them. The only reason she kept going was to see Mizi again. She talks about how hard it is, saying that at least, Mizi doesn’t have to go through it.

Sua then purposefully repeats Luke’s words- “Must be nice, right?”

She’s provoking Mizi, minimising Mizi’s pain, making her drop the facade. And Mizi does.

39-43: And then the slap. It almost feels like it’s happened before between them- sua provoking, Mizi snapping. The important part is that their first reactions are to smile. Their full faces are now revealed. Sua doesn’t seem horrified, she seems happy. Elated, almost, like the look Ivan gets on his face. She wanted this. She wants Mizi to let that face drop, to be her true self in front of her. 

And Mizi is smiling too, because it feels good to let that out. But she starts crying. Obviously. She just hurt Sua. But Sua forgives her immediately, hugging her and smiling behind her back.

They need each other. Sua wants to be everything to Mizi, even if she gets hurt in the process. They’re extremely codependent (love them). And Sua comforting her even after she dropped her facade just reinforces the belief that Sua is the one person she can rely on.

Remember Mizi’s ‘face’ is from the belief that “everyone will like me as long as I’m pretty and friendly. If everyone likes me I’ll stay safe”. We have to remember how messed up this world and the characters are. 

44: Here, ‘Sua’ is talking again. I believe that it’s really just Mizi’s survivor’s guilt and self hatred manifesting in the form that would hurt her the most- her beloved saying these things to her. 

Mizi believes that Sua thinks she ditched her. Mizi believes that everyone’s death is HER fault. It’s her fault they were in love with her (as Luke said), she’s filthy and disgusting. 

She tried to make it right by saving Till, tried to prove that a connection with her can be a good thing, but she couldn’t. 

All she did was solidify what she started believing after Sua’s death- loving her (Mizi) gets people killed. And when people fall in love with her, it’s her own fault. So thus, she MUST be the ‘evil’ thing. A curse that gets everyone close to her killed.  

She ‘ditched’ all her other friends just to survive. She’s calling herself selfish, convincing herself it was her fault all along. She’s truly starting to believe in her own evilness and selfishness, starting to think that she really did manipulate all of those people and used them to survive.

45-50: Here we have Mizi with Till. It starts off all cute, Mizi being playful with Till. At this point however, after Luke’s words, I do think Mizi holds resentment towards Till for his feelings for her. 

She asks him if it’s hard not to like her. He says it’s something he can’t control- which might lead Mizi to think it’s something SHE’S controlling, because she really doesn’t understand the feelings men and women are SUPPOSED to have for each other. 

She can’t reciprocate the feelings of any of these guys, even Till who’s a close friend. Once again, this feeds into the belief that she’s ’broken’ somehow, that her love is a twisted thing and she’s just manipulating these people. 

51-53: “Because you’re pretty”. Ouch. Once again, someone likes her for something she can’t control- her appearance. From Mizi’s face, we can see the flicker of disgust again, the resentment against Till. 

Is she supposed to stop being friendly so she doesn’t give the wrong idea to guys, just because she’s pretty? Does she really owe these guys something because of how they feel about her, even if they don’t truly see her? 

Till here is just awkward, but I do think he likes Mizi for more than just her prettiness, she’s also ‘pretty’ on the inside. If he could articulate this, then maybe Mizi could have changed her views on the ‘grossness’ of the feelings guys have for her. 

But once again it’s drilled into her head- “people like me because I’m pretty. They can’t control their feelings, so it must be my fault somehow.”

54-55: Here we see Mizi’s maniacal laughter (she’s scary asf in this comic 😍). In a flicker, her face is back on.

Last time she dropped her mask around someone other than Sua, it was Luke. For the briefest second she spoke her mind and called his logic ‘gross’ instead of smiling and agreeing. 

It caused her to get slapped. To get hurt. She’s learnt better now. She can’t be her real self around Till, because then he’ll see the ugly parts of her, and he’ll hate her. She’s the one who led everyone to believe she’s perfect. It’s her fault when they’re hurt and disappointed if she can’t live up to those standards.

So instead of dropping that mask, she laughs as a default reaction to most things- even when slapped -because that’s just what she’s used to. Her true face is always hidden.

56-58: Now, finally, ‘Sua’ turns into Mizi. She’s been talking to herself this whole time. “You figured you’d use whatever you could, huh? Just so you could make it out alive on your own.” While a lot of people interpreted this as Mizi being fully self-aware and ACTUALLY using everyone the whole time, I don’t think that’s the case.

I think this is Mizi’s survivor guilt and self-hatred speaking. As she’s thinking back, she’s trying to rationalise it all. 

Sua hid the truth from her, yes, but it’s hard to remain innocent in this world unless you choose to be ignorant. I think Mizi knew more than we thought, but still less than everyone else. 

She was aware that horrible things were happening, she was an adult of course, but she kept her eyes closed and her ears shut. Sua likes her innocent and naive. She’d rather be needed by Sua than know the truth. 

So she never tried to figure it out. She’s blaming herself for her own ignorance, for ‘playing dumb’, when she knew there was more to it. She ‘played dumb’ and they died because of it.

As she thinks back, everything seems like her fault. Sua died for her. Till died reaching for her. Hyuna died after she insisted on coming back. Everyone’s love and care were wasted on her.

“Feel like a waste?” She does. But Mizi’s only fault was being ‘pretty’ and ‘friendly’. 

She had too much love to give-  Her obsessive, worshipful love for Sua. Her coming back for Till because he was her friend. Hyuna followed Mizi to save Till because Hyuna cared about her. 

All these lives were wasted on her. So clearly, she must be the evil thing.

She must’ve stringed all those people along- using them just to survive. (Even though this isn’t true, as she risked her own life to try to save Till, she’s twisted her own actions into something selfish.)

These are her thoughts about herself. She’s convincing herself of her own evilness. Because now, with everyone dead, it’s much easier to blame it on herself than on them.

She manipulated them into loving her enough to die for her. She did this all just to survive, to stay safe. Because that’s easier to believe than to think that them loving her, something beautiful, could result in things so horrible. 

Love isn’t the problem. Her dead friends aren’t the problem. It’s her.

59-63: And then we get those words ‘I’m so proud of you’. It’s mocking. Everyone is dead, you’re alone, congratulations. You’ve used them and now they’re dead, you evil thing. Good thing you were naive, good thing you were pretty, you survived because of it. I’m proud of you.

And then she walks away slowly, turning away from herself and disappearing. Till slowly fades in her arms, but she has nothing more to say to herself. They’re all gone. The person she was is gone. 

“I’ve seen your true face, the back of your head, if you were walking away, keep walking.” A quote from Richard Siken. 

For the last time, her old self is running away. Like Luka’s blue tipped fingers and his fake personalities, Mizi’s blue tipped hair parallels it. With it now cut off, she has no reason to pretend. And that long haired Mizi, with the kind ‘face’? She’s done her job. Kept Mizi alive all this time. And now she’s leaving. Because Mizi can’t keep herself hidden anymore. (Future crash out).

All of the grief from Sua’s death onwards is manifesting now, into this ugly, bitter, self-hating thing. She’s always run away- run to Sua, run away from Luka, run away from the truth.

Her true face is the back of her head. She’d rather face the wall her whole life, live happily and be oblivious, than know the truth. Which is why she hates herself. Because she knows that, deep down, she would’ve done anything to keep Sua’s love for her. And now she’d do anything for Sua to come back. 

She regrets it all. Regrets them ever loving her. Because if they didn’t, maybe they could be alive. She doesn’t believe herself to be worthy of so much love and sacrifice.

“I’m proud of you.”

You’ve managed to use and seduce all of those people.

You’re sitting on a pile of bodies but you’re alive. 

They died when you should’ve, so it’s your fault.

Mizi is truly alone.

Extra tidbits:

Ivan: It’s interesting that Ivan isn’t in the pile of bodies, or in this comic at all. I really do think Ivan was one of the only people Mizi could relax with- there were no strings attached, just friendship. 

He would NEVER like her like those other guys did. WLW/MLM solidarity. He was her best friend, and the one death she doesn’t blame herself for. He died for someone else, so he’s not in the pile of bodies. It’s also interesting how people say Ivan is ‘I want to be a girl’, but I kinda think that Mizi is the one who’s more like ‘I want to be a boy, so loving her is correct’. 

We’ve never seen Ivan worry about homophobia or societal norms, probably because he just doesn’t care- unlike Mizi.

Comp-het, homophobia, lesbophobia + real life links: Even though no one saw it coming, this comic draws clear lines to those things. Male/Female ‘love’ is the norm and is even encouraged. Any male and female with a close relationship are ‘bound to mate’. As a result, M/M and F/F are clearly weird and probably considered ‘unnatural’. These are of course, very real life things. 

And I think Vivinos is also making a statement to all the bisexual-Mizi believers. Even though Mizi’s only strong feelings have been towards a girl, people still assumed she ‘should’ have feelings for boys, specifically Till, just like Luke did. (MiziTill, MiziLuka ppl are all just Luke). It’s clear homophobia, erasing Mizi’s feelings and prioritising what’s ‘correct’.

Mizi also experiences some form of conflict with comp-het. The feelings she’s SUPPOSED to have for these guys she feels for Sua. She’s fully accepted her love for Sua, but others around her don’t truly understand it. Maybe she doesn’t understand it herself either. She just knows that no guy has made her feel like Sua has. And that’s not ‘right’, especially because she HAS male friends she should be ‘falling in love’ with.

Idols: Alien stage is a big metaphor for the idol industry. Here, it’s a clear parasocial relationship. Mizi is an idol, she has to keep her relationship private, lest her fans riot like Luke did. Luke’s confrontation with her is like a fan finding out their idol isn’t who they imagined them to be. 

And Mizi has to put on this face as an idol, just to be loved, even if they’re loving a fake version of herself. As a result, she feels isolated and alone, starting to believe that her true self is lesser and worse. That she’s manipulating all of these people with her perfect, fake self. 

People don’t want raw and real, they want perfect. If she fails to live up to those standards of perfection, then it’s her own fault and it’ll result in her crashing and burning. (Like an idol’s career).

Mizi possibly trying to avoid ‘responsibility’: Mizi’s true face only comes out with Sua. When Luke said a male and female friendship can never last and they’re ’bound to mate’, maybe the disgust Mizi felt scared her as well. 

From then on, her mask is even firmer. Maybe she believes that if she keeps the mask, if no guy loves the ‘true’ face, then she will never be bound to them because their love for her is ‘fake’. By never being herself around these guys, she has no risk of them getting too close and having to copulate. This way, she can stay with Sua.

Her true self: I think that her ‘true face’ is only really known by two people in the anakt garden. Ivan and Sua. 

I’m 100% sure Ivan is the only one who doesn’t fall for that ‘face’ of hers, firstly because he’s not attracted to her in that way (gay), and secondly because he’s one of the smartest/most perceptive characters. 

He knows she’s pretending, and he doesn’t/can’t like her in that way. As a result, he never idolised or had those entitled views of how she ‘should’ act, which is why she feels so comfortable around him. (So sweet).

I don’t think Mizi knows that Ivan sees through her, however. I think she’s just grateful he’s ‘normal’ to her (unlike others who fall for her so easily). 

Sua is very complicated. She definitely knows Mizi’s true face, but she is also one of the people who initially fell for it. That’s why Mizi keeps it up in front of Sua. 

But Sua’s love goes deeper than that- she finds comfort in Mizi’s ‘face’, but she does want Mizi to show her true self around her as well, likely to keep Mizi dependent. After all, Sua has no reason to keep going aside from Mizi’s light. 

This might be a hot take, but I think that’s also why Sua sacrificed herself in the very first round. I think she would’ve done it whether or not she was versing Mizi- she doesn’t wanna live in a world where Mizi’s light is dimmed, which it definitely would be once Mizi learned of The Horrors (tm). Sua was always meant to die first, no matter what. ‘She’s been dead since the beginning’. 

Circling back- Sua is also different because she’s a girl. Mizi can return her feelings, and Mizi falls for her first (as we see in My Clematis). Note how in My Clematis, Mizi’s view of Sua is so wholesome and soft, showing off a puppy love when the reality is so much darker. Mizi idolises/depends on her perfect view of Sua, just as much as Sua does to her.

Just like everyone else, Sua DOES put Mizi on a pedestal. But with Sua, there’s also a lot of other things mixed in. She feels superior to Mizi, maybe even envious of her innocence and ‘easy life’. It’s twisted. Mizi is below her, but that innocence is what puts her above everything. It makes no sense, really, which is why they’re so complicated.

Sua, to an extent, does think Mizi of dumb and easy to fool. Mizi, I think, also does let herself be fooled so Sua will love her forever. Because Mizi also puts Sua on a very high pedestal (my god, my universe). Sua is her everything. So she’ll play dumb so Sua can protect her. So Sua can still find comfort in her.

But Sua wants to prove she’s not like the others. She doesn’t love her just for her face. She’s different than them. Her love is true. Even when she’s slapped, she’ll hug and love Mizi just the same. But at the core of it, her love is very selfish. When she needs it, she’ll encourage Mizi’s kind face. When she needs it, she’ll draw out Mizi’s true face. 

Ivan sees through her face and treats her like normal.

Sua sees through her face, but still finds comfort in it.

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #9306:

The fact that more and more people seem averse to any sort of conflict in media while addicted to it in real life.

I think part of it stems from overcorrecting, 2000s media typically had a mean-spirited, cynical edge, and seemingly in response, the 2010s onward seem cloyingly wholesome by comparison. I used to hate it when if felt like every character hated each other for no reason, for what was to me, pointless, cheap drama. I was tired of "jokes" where the punchline a seemingly sincere emotional moment getting yoinked at the last second.

So it felt nice when characters were friendly with each other, but after a while it got to the point where it feels like there actually is potential for an interesting conflict that they just don't explore because they'd rather everyone be insta-forever-besties. It made me appreciate that "characters hating each other" isn't always just "cheap drama". Sometimes you just have irreconcilable differences with someone and still have to see them every day regardless. I prefer that than always getting smothered under a blanket of "We. Are. Friends. :3 We. Are. Friends. :3 We. Are. Friends. :3". Plus it makes it feel more special and more earned when characters actually DO like each other, when they don't just like everybody.

It feels like people are just refusing to see anything even almost approaching a conflict in media.

People talk about how much they hate "enemies to lovers" and the example provided where never even enemies!! Films with a PG rating used to be able to show boobs and blood, and now movies for actual literal babies get slapped with a PG rating when there's gasp oh no! a tough conversation about feelings?? And listen - I like Bluey. I do! Yes it's better than most preschool shows and yes it has child psychologists working on it and blah blah "healing your inner child" blah blah blah. But adults losing their minds and crying for weeks because a cartoon dog family almost had to MOVE??? (and then, didn't?????????)

All this AND YET!! Looking for reasons to be actively hostile to strangers minding their business, reaching for ways to assume the worst of everybody, saying awful things and expecting zero blowback. What happened? What is going on?

[geeking-n-tweaking]

Dating Andrew Neiman - SFW alphabet

not my gif!!

{ note: real talk I started this in august, finished it in december and now it’s january??? if it seems ooc for andrew atp idc bc I’m TIRED & REFUSE to work on it anymore 😭😭

I tried to make this as fluffy as possible!! however obviously neiman is a self destructive person and suffers abuse at the hands of fletcher :( bc of that warnings posted below, they seem worse than they are but better safe than sorry!!

warnings: censored antisemitic/homophobic slurs (author is Jewish & queer), mentions of PTSD, a car accident, nightmares, blood, vomiting.., sex mentioned like once

reader: no gender is mentioned for the reader!!, musician!reader mentioned }

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He definitely likes affection but he would be really shy to initiate it with you. I think he’s very hesitant, like, he would brush your hand with his while you’re taking a walk… but he won’t hold it…he’s leaving it up to you to take the plunge.

He would want to hold your hand, have his arm around you, put his head on your shoulder, put his hand on your knee/thigh.. that kind of thing :) It will just take a while for him to really build up the confidence to DO it.

…

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Uhhh…Andrew doesn’t have friends, he says it straight up: he doesn’t see the use. (Whether or not I believe that is just defence mechanism doesn’t matter rn, the point is… a friendship would be hard to start with him.)

“Friendly acquaintance” would be the way to go. I honestly think the best way to become Andrew’s friend is to be in the same social situation as him. If you were in a class together either in high school or Schaffer, if you played together in Nassau band, if you were in the same study group…those kinds activities would force you to spend time together and let him warm up to you.

I really feel like building a sense of familiarity with him would lay a good foundation— saying hello and goodbye to him everyday, smiling at him, little things like that would make him notice you, like… oh!.. that person again.. :)

From there, you could start conversations with him and sort of let him feel it out. If you really want him to like you, lay it on thick with the compliments. Say he has a good taste in music, or that you heard him play sometime and he’s talented, just… anything. Any nice thing you can say about him— say it.

Andrew loves compliments, (the way he smiled when Fletcher compared him to Buddy Rich!!! 🥹🥹) he really doesn’t get them often between his emotionally distant family and school (in fact he usually gets trashed 😕) so he absolutely relishes in them.

Once the two of you establish a friendly school-mate relationship, you could take it further by going out to see a movie in the cinema, lending each other CDs… little things that friends do to build it up and let him see that you care and actually want to spend time with him :)

…

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

God, yes. Andrew is totally touch starved and is just DYING for a little affection :(

Remember how he watched Connolly brush his girlfriend’s hair out of her face?

Remember how he smiled when Nicole nudged her foot against his under the table?

He needs those things, so badly, those little touches, that little bit of love and reassurance. And to cuddle you, to be cuddled…? He could die happy. He would want to cuddle chest-to-chest, as in the two of you facing one another on your sides, arms around each other 🥺

…

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He’s not ready for all that yet, not even close. The two of you are so young, you have your whole life ahead of you, and he’s just getting started. He has a career to think about… he wants to tour, playing music… he’s not ready to be tied down right now.

He’s happy to be your boyfriend, nothing more. Like, the most he would do is move in with you, maybe get a little pet together like a fish or a turtle… but marriage or kids is not where his head is at. He hasn’t thought about it, and would be shocked if you did.

As for his habits, he’s not the most organized or cleanly…I mean, he’s a busy guy. It’s not that he has a ton of stuff, it’s just that he doesn’t have the time or energy to keep his things in a consistent, contained space.

…

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

There are a few break up situations I could see happening…

⁃ It fizzled out (mutual):

The two of you had a relationship before the original timeline of the movie, like he was your boyfriend in high school. You would be really excited for him when he got accepted into Schaffer!

However, you knew that the situation wasn’t ideal for you to have a thriving relationship… maybe you took a gap year, maybe you got into a less prestigious university, maybe you had to move and were doing long distance…either way, the two of you couldn’t spend a lot of time together anymore.

It went okay at first, you really missed him and the two of you would text and talk on the phone a lot, if you could you would visit in person on some weekends. Then slowly, his messages became more dry. He didn’t say much on the phone and seemed to not listen to what you were saying. He stopped asking to see you so much, or “didn’t have time” to hangout… Eventually he replied less and less, stating that he was really busy with music now… then stopped answering you all together, not texting you back, not answering your calls, not listening to your voicemails… essentially he ghosted you time and time again. You did the same, whether you were focusing on school work or a job… the two of you grew apart.

It was a mutual decision between the two of you to end things, the stress of your failing relationship was just too much for both of you.

⁃ Nicole 2.0 (he dumps you):

A beat for beat recreation of the Nicole situation. He started dating you right as he got into Studio Band, and then broke things off with you to “focus on his career.” If you didn’t study music ( just like her) he would say that “you could never understand what it’s like to be a musician” or something like that.)

⁃ He became your rival (you dump him):

Originally, the two of you were in Nassau Band together. When he switched he became very snobbish about your abilities and the level that Nassau was playing at compared to Studio.

Your band was “cute”, as Fletcher said.

Not bad, just…well, you wouldn’t be playing Lincoln Center anytime soon…

Oh you “practiced really hard”, huh? Well he had blood dripping down to his elbows yesterday… You want him to look over your charts…really? This is the song you need help with?… okay…

Finally you’d snap at him for being so mean. It’s not like he was any better than you. That comment would NOT go over well, he’d tell you that he had bigger things to focus on than you now that he could start playing “for real.”

This would hit especially hard. “For real”? So Nassau band wasn’t “real”?

You were in it…so what, you weren’t good enough? He definitely has a superiority complex about the whole thing, stating that he clearly had something that you didn’t…why else would he be picked?

At that point you would have had enough. You would dump him right then and there, he may be a good drummer, but you weren’t gonna kiss his ass any more.

…

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Like I said, he’s down to be your boyfriend. You’re exclusive and you have a good relationship as it is. He’s happy with that, and wouldn’t want to get married to you any time soon. If this whole music thing really takes off… well he could be travelling the country…and where would you be? At home? That wouldn’t sit right with him.

So yeah, he doesn’t have any plans for a proposal in the near future. Rest assured, he does love you! But if you asked him to marry you he would have to say no. 🙃

…

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically? Extremely so. Andrew would never, ever be agressive with you. He would honestly be constantly nervous about doing something you didn’t like.

Like I said, he’s shy and touch starved…he’ll take whatever YOU give him. He isn’t pushy about affection at all, he’s not in a position to be making demands, anyways.

In the off chance that he makes you uncomfortable, he will back down immediately and be really embarrassed.

Remember how quickly dropped it when Nicole acted like she didn’t want to go out with him? Yeah, it would be like that. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry…I’m so sorry…”

If you’re not in the mood for cuddling, or kissing, or sex it’s a non-issue. He would never be upset with you about turning him down, or try to force you into it.

Whenever he touches you it’s extremely delicate. If you like a tighter hug, or a deeper kiss you’re going to have to tell him because it’s just not in his nature.

Emotionally, he can get a bit prickly if he’s pushed to it. It’s clear that he likes to argue (“None of us knew Buddy Rich, that’s the point.”) but he tries to keep that side of himself hidden from you as long as he can.

Even when he’s upset at you…he saves all the roughness for himself, and will throw himself into his work to let it out.

The gruelling hours he spends practicing, bandage after bandage covering his fingers, the blood blisters, the calluses, the ice water… that’s for him. All for him.

…

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Yes he does! Andrew would hug you whenever he saw you, at the very least to say hello and goodbye. When you first started dating no matter HOW BADLY he wanted to touch you he treated you like you were made of glass; his hugs were loose…he would barely envelope you and would let go too fast :/ buuuut he eventually learns to not be so guarded around you and give a proper hug.

His hugs are still gentle though. They’re cheek to cheek (unless you’re much shorter than him, then your cheek will be pressed more against his upper chest) and he puts his arms around your back, rarely your waist…(because he views touching your waist at as more suggestive)

…

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It would take while. I’m not convinced he ever said it to Nicole, we never see it. Is it crazy to say at least 6 months?…. Idc I’m saying it. 6 months.

…

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

I think he’s a self-pitying, sulky kind of jealous. Like, he’ll see you talking and laughing with someone who’s clearly flirting with you and he gets this sinking feeling in his stomach.

It’s like torture, watching the way you chuckle at their jokes, the way their hand brushes your arm playfully, the way they eye you up and down. Ugh…did you seriously not notice it? They’re being so obvious…or did you know? Did you like it? Did you like them? Fuck, what if you left him…

Andrew won’t say anything about it in the moment, but when you’re finally done talking to the flirt, you’ll see that he’s not happy. You don’t know why exactly…but you know something’s up.

…

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

I honestly don’t think Andrew had that much kissing experience before he met you…but he’s learned a little bit. He kisses softly & slowly, mostly closed-mouth.

Kissing your lips or the back of your hands would be his favourite :) & he particularly likes when you kiss his cheek ( and neck 🤭)

…

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Ehhhh… he’s okay, I guess. I don’t know if he would really know what to do or say around a young child. I could definitely see him warming up to it though, especially if you have a younger sibling/cousin/etc that you’re close with (as long as they aren’t an iPad kid.)

I think overall he would get along better with tweens & teens, especially if they’re kind of soft-spoken and like music too.

…

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Expect alarms early in the morning and him fumbling around in the dark to turn them off. Not only does he go to bed late but he gets up at the crack of dawn for extra practice time. (At first you begrudgingly accept the fact that’s he’s choosing his music over you in that moment…especially if you’re not living with him— but either way you would learn to get used to it.)

He would adore it if you took a hot shower with him and had some breakfast but if you’re not a morning person he gets it— he’d make sure to leave a fresh pot of coffee/tea for you and kiss your forehead while you stay warm and cozy in the bed.

…

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

If it’s just a normal a night in, Andrew has a specific routine. He would….

⁃ spend a few hours each evening practicing and going over his charts

⁃ then help you make dinner, eat and talk about your days…he would tell you what he’s been working on lately, what breakthroughs he’s had, what he’s struggling with, what his plans are….

⁃ watch a movie/tv with you until you get too sleepy and turn in for the night.

⁃ then he spends a few MORE hours listening to his music (with headphones, don’t worry) to memorize it and make notes

⁃ he’d also take some time to write some of his own stuff

⁃ and THEN only when he’s satisfied with his progress— which could be anywhere from 1-4am —will he slip into bed with you and sleep </3

…

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He reveals things slowly, little bits of vulnerability come out as you get to know each other— especially if you’ve just been vulnerable with him (“…I still go to the movies with my dad.”)

I think Andrew would get skittish about over sharing, especially if it’s really serious stuff. He doesn’t love to talk about himself in the first place so the prospect of traumadumping on you mortifies him.

I also think he would get overwhelmed if you did that to him so don’t let it all tumble out in one conversation.

…

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Andrew is (for the most part) patient and a people pleaser… he puts up with a LOT of bullshit. Yes, he does have his moments when he’s really pushed to the edge but between his unsupportive family and cutthroat peers…he’s developed thicker skin.

He would not be easily angered by you, and I think even when he does become angry with you he won’t yell at you— because he knows how it feels to be screamed at…he wouldn’t do that to you :(

…

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He has a really good memory. If he can memorize tons of musical information then he can memorize things about you too.

The question is, would he?

As he said to Nicole“…when I do spend time with you, I'm gonna be thinking about drumming. And I'm gonna be thinking about jazz music, my charts, all that.”

Soooo would he actually listen to you?.. I would say… sometimes. It’s not that he doesn’t WANT to pay attention to you, it’s not that he doesn’t WANT to remember things, it’s just that there’s so much going on up there…he’s not very good at staying on track with it.

But it’s okay! He’s developed a habit of writing things down. He started doing when you first met, just little things that he wanted to remember about you. Your middle name, your birthday, your favourite food…and it’s developed into a whole-ass FILE all about you. Just all the things you’ve told him that he found interesting or important. Obscure trivia, your funny shower thoughts, what book you’re currently reading… it’s a bit obsessive but he can’t store all this information in his brain, so there it goes. Not a perfect system, but he’s trying.

…

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

I think he would cherish a moment where he was really vulnerable with you. It’s hard to pinpoint just one…I think the first time you saw the intensity of his stress?

When you found out that he punched a hole through his drums. You had seen the bag of ice in the bathroom. You had seen his hands. You had seen the bags under his eyes and you just… beckoned him closer and gave him a hug.

He was a bit surprised. He had expected you to ask a million questions about what happened, to scold him for not answering his phone when you had been calling, to shy away from the blood… but you didn’t. You just held him. The two of you were silent for a while before you helped disinfect and wrap the wounds on his hands, kissing his knuckles, rubbing the insides of his wrists.

He really appreciated you in that moment. The quiet, unconditional love that you had showed him that night meant more to him than any grand gestures. <3

…

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

I feel like due to his trauma with… everything, he’s become pretty defensive. He’s had things thrown at him, he’s been hit in the face, he’s been degraded and demeaned, screamed at… he would 100% be your first protector and would be hyper aware of how people treat you. Not necessarily in a “anyone who looks at you wrong is gonna get beat up” way, but he would never ever want you to feel unsafe or upset because of someone else.

Anyone giving you a hard time is getting told off by him, not so much threats but like “hey, we don’t want any trouble, why don’t you stop being such a dick/bitch?” type stuff. And yeah, if it really came to it, he would fight someone for you. It’s not really his style but as we’ve seen he can be pushed to violence.

As for you… well he would want the same, someone who defends him against his aggressors and naysayers.

Someone who tells off the guys in Nassau band that made fun of his drumming, and his conductor for overlooking him.

Someone who gives Tanner shit for hogging the set, and yelling at him about the stupid folder. Someone who chews out Fletcher for how obsessive he’s made Andrew.

Someone who tells his family to listen to him when he speaks…

He just wants to feel valued and loved :(

…

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Not a ton when dating, which is neither good or bad. Andrew is a very casual guy. He likes to catch a movie, he likes to pop into jazz clubs and get a couple of drinks. Those are his favourite kinds of dates, the kind where you sit around with some snacks & drinks and just sort of…vibe?

There are things I’m sure he’d love to do with you, but I feel like they wouldn’t involve much planning from him. They would be somewhat spontaneous. He saw a flyer downtown for a record sale? You’re going. A new book store opened up near the campus? Why not check it out? His dad scored a couple of tickets to an art gallery? You’ll make good use of them!

For an anniversary, he will make sure to do something that will take a bit more effort, to show he cares.

I think he’d try to make you dinner. If this seems like it’s coming out of left field HEAR ME OUT!!

Personally I headcanon him to be a pretty good cook. Like, it’s not his passion or anything but I think that (I’m projecting here!!) being in a single parent household would force someone to step up their game, in a culinary sense.

His dad is not shown to be a great cook (i.e the overcooked meatloaf) soooo I feel like there would be many situations in which Andrew would have to feed himself, either because his dad’s cooking was bad or because he didn’t have time/wasn’t there to prepare something for his son.

Anyways, I feel like he’d make something simple…dare I say it…homemade pizza? I 100% believe that not only is it his favourite food (we see him eat it twice ☝️) but it is stupidly easy to make, and would be a no brainer meal for a young guy to cook on his own (especially if the ingredients were ready made like jarred/canned sauce.)

Okay, now I think gifts are where he sort of kills it.

Andrew’s a musician, and a music buff right? (For jazz, at least) so he’d probably be dating someone with a good music taste. I can TOTALLY see him getting you some awesome music related gifts related to your favourite musicians.

If you like to own physical copies of your music he would buy you tons from your favourite musicians…CD’s, vinyl, cassette; whatever you like.

If you prefer equipment he would get a little turntable, a super retro Walkman, some good headphones/earbuds, nice speakers/a stereo… he just wants you to be able to enjoy your music!! <3

…

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Well…

⁃ he’s passive to a fault & is unable to stand up for himself

⁃ he doesn’t make/maintain eye contact (he’s so me..)

⁃ he pushes down his emotions until they burst

⁃ he’s too obsessive about his hobbies

⁃ he overworks himself until he has a mental/emotional or physical breakdown

⁃ he pushes away people who care about him (Nicole, his dad…)

⁃ he “doesn’t see the use” in making friends

⁃ he is self righteous about the fact that he’s a musician, and brags about it

⁃ argumentative!

⁃ he’s overly competitive (with Tanner, Connolly, Dustin & Travis)

…

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He was more insecure when he was younger, like 13-16. Andrew grew fast and adjusting to growth spurts during puberty wasn’t always easy for him. Being tall and thin made him a bit gangly, which in turn made his gait and mannerisms feel and look kind of awkward…

He was totally that kid who didn’t know how to take care of his wavy/curly hair (if you’ve seen younger pictures of Miles Teller you know exactly what I mean) so I feel like he had a really hard time trying to “tame” it, and got really frustrated with all his little cowlicks and frizz 🥺

At this point though, I think he’s kind of gotten over it… if he’s going to be recognized for anything, it’s his talent, not his looks…so he really doesn’t care what anyone thinks.

…

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Ehh…no..? Sorry, but like, really…he was all too ready to dump Nicole the second that he got an opportunity to play music “seriously.” The way he broke it off with her was very cold, and to the point. (Yes, he looked longingly at her phone contact once, yeah he called her and apologized… But that doesn’t mean he wanted *her* back, as her own person. I honestly think he was just feeling lonely, and/or realized no one would come to see him play at the JVC Fest besides his dad. Just a personal theory there!)

Listen…he may love you… he may miss you…it would really fucking suck to break up with you. But he does not need you per se. He is super individualistic — to a fault — which leads him to isolate himself. He would not feel any less “whole”without you there, and that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you, he just doesn’t believe in that “my other half” kind of romance.

…

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Not really random: Andrew is Jewish.

This is based on a few things:

1. Miles Teller (Andrew’s actor) has Jewish ancestry (1/4. His paternal grandfather is Russian-Jewish. Also yes, I believe in patrineal Jewish people. & jewornotjew.com identifies him as “borderline jew” which is incredible. )

2. Paul Reiser, (Andrew’s father’s actor) is Romanian-Jewish.

3. His last name, Neiman is an Ashkenazic variant on the name Neumann.

4. In the film, Fletcher calls Andrew a “h*mie fuck”, a derogatory term for a Jewish person. While he uses other slurs for Andrew and other students (like “f*ggot”) this one only appears once — in reference to Andrew, which I believe is extremely targeted.

( Bonus: 5. I’m Jewish, let me have this. )

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Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

(This one hurts ☹️) As seen with Nicole, Andrew wants to be with someone who is driven and passionate. They need to know what they want to do, how they want to do it, and a plan to make it happen. He likes people who have big dreams, intense hobbies, “5 year plans”.

If his partner is generally indecisive or unmotivated for too long… sorry, it just won’t work. He’s rehearsed and delivered that break up speech once, he can do it again.

He would however support whatever it is you want to do, when you decide (even if he honestly finds it silly…) Just as long as you love it and are putting the work in!

…

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Andrew is a really light sleeper, and has frequent nightmares.

He probably has PTSD…his main ones are about the car crash. He was extremely lucky that all of his injuries were superficial. His subconscious often delves into more serious possibilities. What if he permanently mangled his limbs, or worse, his spine and could never play the drums again? What if he was paralyzed? What if suffered brain damage? What if he was comatose? What if he even died that day? What if, what if, what if? His anxious mind never lets him escape all of the morbid details of what might have happened..

He also had a lot of nightmares about screwing up really important performances. Sometimes it was THE performance, the one in Dunellen. After the fact, he replayed that day in his mind over and over, and it was no different when he was asleep.

The way his body ached as he ran, blood and sweat dripping down his forehead, his palms, his back. The way his head pounded in a way that made him dizzy and made his vision fuzzy. The way his chest felt tight, waves of nausea ebbing and crashing in his stomach.

Sometimes it was a perfect recreation, him bursting in late, dropping his drumstick, scrambling to grab it from the floor. Him keeling over the drums, body broken and exhausted. Fletcher firing him. The tackling, the screaming, the crying.

That day was a nightmare within itself.

Sometimes the dream strayed from reality. In some versions, he arrived too late…and Connolly or Tanner played the part. Watching them perform it perfectly while he sat there, battered and bloodied as he stewed, turning their pages… it was almost worse than what had really happened. (Yes, it’s selfish… but if he didn’t get to play, no one should have. It was HIS part.)

In other similar nightmares, it’s random performances, with random mistakes. Forgetting his sheet music, breaking his drumsticks, fumbling his fills, being off tempo… then there were weirder things, like tripping when he got up to take a bow, wetting his pants, throwing up mid-song… classic nightmare fuel.

This poor boy will never have a peaceful night :(

…

{note: aaaaand that’s it! I’m considering writing for him a bit more but since this one took SO LONG it will probably be some more small headcanons & the like :p}