#1 bc i transitioned/am transitioning

[divine-draws]

2024 art vs artist!!!

[ohsweetflips]

somewhere on this blog there is a post that goes something like "what if i just start identifying as nonbinary and don't tell anyone and still go by she/her" and that needs to be marked as the day that pandora's box opened

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

pro tip: if a doctor is saying shit and you’re getting weird vibes you can stare dead at them until they shut up and/or call them out and watch them scramble

[shortqueershakespeare]

Still very salty about how much 8 years of binding ruined my lung capacity

[the-count-and-the-raven]

Using Will’s ig story reposts as a way to tell you tumblr ppl to go listen to Human Zoo their stuff is super cool 🫵

Extra propaganda if you need more reasons: (see under cut)

- they have 2 songs made with Will (“Aphrodite, your electric sexiness” and “Wealth & Hellness) both fucking amazing songs (but I’m assuming most ppl seeing this have probably already listened to both at least a little bit)

- become rachel

- they’re very fun & silly ppl look here

- and many more reasons i can’t think of rn bc I’m eepy

Are there any HZ listeners on tumblr bc if so I’ve seen nothing from yall. Rachel please reblog / reply (/nf)

[bangcakes]

.

[themyscirah]

Does anyone know if there was simonjess crumbs in the justice league book at the time or is it like just in their solo (meaning I need to reread that book again which I was already planning on doing but like still)

[spacebell]

seriously thinking about adopting another cat, maybe a girl this time

[e77y]

Would it be a bad idea to expose my old spam blog by reblogging all of the funny posts on it? Probably. However I used to be so silly and I need people to know

[parasolemn]

X7 Acts 1-3 Summaries transcription

note: all things i am uncertain about are now in italicised square brackets bc they were bothering me

I encourage everyone to look at the screenshots or video themselves to see if they can read something themselves more accurately than I have. (Video has been removed via copyright strike from ZA/UM, however drive links are available.)

(Updated as at 5/04/2025 at 10AM AEST)

Act 1 - The Murder

Summary

Size: Small Playtime: ~1 hour Energy: High Emotional tone: Panic & Survival 30% Talking; 70% Action 30% Comedy; 70% Darkness

"The first Act introduces Locust City's protagonists, Cuno and Cunoesse. The game starts inside Cuno's subconsciousness, in the special Locust Dream sequence, from which he is violently awakened by his father's abuse. We find Cuno in his living room at the Capeside Apartments, where he must fight to survive Beast de Ruyter's violent rage. Brought to near death by his father's overpowering strength, Cuno is rescued by the [pursuing?] Cunoesse, but their escape attempt is thwarted by the Beast's relentless pursuit. Finally, the children are cornered into brutally murdering Cuno's father on the Capeside boat dock. The act is witnessed by the [urgent?] Call Me Mañana, frightening the children into fleeing Martinaise for good. Cunoesse sets the destination: Hämärä Maa, her ancestral land, thus setting the events of the game in motion. Lastly, before moving on, the player needs to go back and explore Cuno's apartment to collect a few key items before setting off on their journey. (See the Miro board for a detailed overview and storyboard.)"

Player experience

Immediate parallel to Disco with the interior psychological opening of the Locust Dream

The extensive multi-phase animation-driven action sequence between the kids and Cuno's father should give the impression of an ambitious technological upgrade over Disco

Kicking off the game with a refreshingly faster, more higher-stakes pace, establishing the tonal difference of the story

The opening Act is necessarily linear in its major outcomes (Beast is murdered, murder is witnessed, kids flee Martinaise) but on a smaller scale, the Player and the roll of their dice can influence the way in which the Beast dies, as well as the inventory, Health and injuries the kids walk away with.

The more curious Player should understand through environmental storytelling and reading between the lines that the Martinaise strike is still ongoing. Streets are barricaded, and Mañana is still an agent of the Union. The kids might not understand it, but on some level (for any subsequent playthroughs) the Player should understand that Mañana doesn't truly intend to report the children to the cops, he merely wants to get them out of Martinaise because they've witnessed him where he shouldn't be.

The Player will internalise some of the key gameplay mechanics, character [switching], and refreshed Skill, Inventory, Consumable and Thought Cabinet systems.

Act 2 - The Escape

Summary

Size: Medium Playtime: ~2 hours Energy: Medium Emotional tone: Impatience & Paranoia 70% Talking; 30% Action 50% Comedy; 50% Darkness

Themes (top to bottom, left to right): BLUE: Being in transit; Clocks ticking; Neither here nor there; Maps, networks; Wanting to leave, not being able to; Running from your past; People who live in between places [The in-between economy] -> (Yellow) Beggars, homeless PINK: The "strong" vs. the weak; Cushioned childhood vs. street childhood; Loss of childhood naïvete GREEN: Guilt; Paranoia; Looking over your shoulder; Being bound in blood; Depending on each other

"The Second Act finds the children arriving at Jamrock Central station, having walked all the way from Martinaise. It is 07:30 in the morning, and Cunoesse insists they must board the 14:44 train to June Cite. Time at the station is limited, and there are several progression paths through the area. If the kids can obtain two train tickets, they can board legally, or otherwise smuggle one another in a pet carrier, potentially create a diversion (?) or, if all else fails, leap aboard the departing train, likely losing health, inventory supplies, etc. During their time at the Station, the kids notice they are being followed by Petit Hercule, an impressionable little schoolboy whose naïve nature can be put to good use in stealing one ticket. In the process, it becomes clear that the kid is traveling unsupervised and has one ticket already on him, resulting in Cunoesse urging you to lure him into the men's room and try to mug him, testing your conscience and the power balance between Cuno and Cunoesse. Otherwise, the kids can take up the advice of the Beggar King and begin the painstakingly slow process of scraping together barely enough coins to buy one ticket, thereby receiving an introduction into the game economy system."

Player experience

Being thrust into the bustling train station following the gruesome murder should leave the player feeling like a fugitive on the run trapped in limbo, eager to depart but forced to pretend everything is normal.

The indifferent reality of the train station will provide a contrast to the post-murder emptiness, a reminder that the world is still moving in its tracks. The clocks are still chiming. People are drinking coffee. It's almost insulting. Don't they know someone's world has just come crashing down?

Time at the station is limited to mere hours, adding to the sense of impatience and pressure to move on, so that the player would not lose momentum after the high-action opening Act and fall into a slump. They are still not safe -- this is no time to relax.

This Act will challenge the Player's problem-solving abilities, as finding all the ways to gain passage aboard he train will require speaking to a variety of characters and following up on several strategies.

This Act will also put the Player's motivations at odds with their conscience, presenting them with a layered and difficult choice between Little Hercule and Cunoesse. This confrontation sets up Cunoesse's frightening, manipulative nature.

The Player will be introduced to Co-operative Checks, the game economy, the map(s), and receive a greater variety of items and consumables to experiment with.

Act 3 - The Journey

Summary

Size: Large Playtime: ~3 hrs Energy: Low Emotional tone: Mundanity & Temporary Relief 90% Talking; 10% Action 80% Comedy; 20% Darkness

Themes (anything I can read): PINK: Social contrast BLUE: [Deception?] -> Trip as Peter Pan -> Never growing up

"The third Act, entirely aboard the Azure Sans-Détour train line, represents a breather in the tension and a break in the overall darkness. Whether they like it or not, Cuno and Cunoesse have no other option but to stay on this fast-traveling metal tube for three entire days before they've reached their destination, so they might as well make the most of it. The key character of Trip the Train Conductor will serve to induct them into the ephemeral but vibrant social microcosmos of the train, a temporary society on wheels. This is the Act where we have the opportunity to introduce the largest social spectrum of characters, involving the petit bourgeois hops entrepeneurs Vincent & Agnes, wrapped up in a (consensual) love triangle with Trip, as well as other train staff and passengers from social groups Cuno and Cunoesse have never had the chance to interact with before, such as a scientist.(?) This Act will contain another Locust Dream sequence, as well as one-off sequences like the Ghost Station, the Biggest Meal, and Two Kids in a Trenchcoat. The catch of the train journey however, which Cunoesse doesn't tell you until you've already boarded, is that the place where you need to get off the train is actually in between two stations. For this, you're going to have to do Trip's bidding in order to have him pull the emergency brakes on the third day to let you off, or you might have to risk jumping off the moving train to move to the next Act."

Player experience

Here we want the Player to relax a little bit and indulge in Cuno & Cunoesse's mischievous and comedic side. The Train is removed enough from both the immediate stress of the murder and from the impending dread of arriving at Hämärä Maa that it is able to have a more lighthearted tone than the rest of the game.

The Player should feel as though they are really covering ground on their journey, as evidenced by the daily changes to the Train map and the dynamic scrolling background.

The characters the Player gets to interact with on the Train can be very thematically diverse and unconnected by background or life experience, joined only by this shared journey. These characters can deliver all kinds of stories from all corners of the game world, expanding on Elysium worldbuilding and lore.

The Man from Jamrock Station throughline will present the players with a parallel plot which bridges the seemingly unconnected locations of Acts 2, 3 and 4.

The Player should have the freedom to decide how they will navigate the special puzzles of the Train, affecting the fate of Trip and his love affair.

The location itself should provide enough exploration incentives to keep the limited train space feeling fresh, including gaining access to various cars and compartments, new Orbs and situations appearing every day, and people and luggage changing location daily.

[vshiftsss]

I ALMOST SHIFTED - (SUCCESS STORY)

hello everyone!

my heart is still racing as i type this, but i just got the closest i’ve ever been to shifting completely. while awake! i think! so here’s what i did…

1) i laid down and listened to music.

this was the first way i was going to shift simply because i didn’t want to fall asleep, and i wanted to feel my surroundings change. this caused me to hyperfocus on the 3d, and then i got frustrated. so i gave up.

after that, i laid on my side and got on my phone LOL. i opened tumblr bc i saw that emma / @hrrtshape posted, and i was curious about it. it was a choose a pile post, and it was focused on your shifting/manifesting journey. i’ll link it here.

the pile i chose was the cake! and i don’t specifically remember what the blurb said, but it did motivate me to lay down and try again just cause. so i did!

2) i laid down (again) and listened to my shifting sub playlist.

i specifically listened to a void state subliminal (you can find that in my most recent ask! i’ll link that here) and laid on my side. my main focus this time was on my breathing. i let go of everything happening around me, any and all distractions both in my mind and outside my body. i also incorporated emma’s anti method into this as well!

at first, i just thought it was going to be the same as last time. but i kept at it! soon enough, i had moved on from simply being in my cr.

i’m not sure when the transition happened, but i was in a dream of some sort. i’m pretty sure i was me in my obx dr, and i was walking around a bedroom trying to plug in a record player. i was listening to my favorite dungeons and dragons podcast, and i remember humming / singing a specific part of dancing through life from wicked…

then i realized i was dreaming, even though i was awake. i know i didn’t shift fully at that point because while it did feel real, it felt almost like a lucid dream. but i knew i was awake because i could hear my breathing in the background of the dream.

once i realized i was “dreaming”, i thought to myself…

“am i in the void state?”

and considering how i couldn’t feel my body at all, couldn’t sense anything apart from the scene happening in front of me, and i knew i was still awake…i answered that question with a yes.

suddenly, the dream starts fading away. almost as if i was waking up. but instead of becoming aware of any reality, i was surrounded by nothingness.

so, i affirmed one time that i was in my outer banks dr.

before this, the subliminal i was listening to was the only thing i could focus on, but then that went away. it made this loud screeching sound, though i think that was because i leaned on my headphones too hard (happens when the noise cancelling feature is on, which it was).

then i hear wind blowing around my ears like i’m in the middle of a tornado, getting swept up off my feet and whisked away to another place.

i could still hear myself breathing, and i could hear how my breathing picked up out of panic. i knew what was happening, of course, but my ears are sensitive. the wind went away and came back, then it came back even louder, and i realized i wanted to get out.

it took a second, but i moved away, and suddenly i was back here. sitting like nothing just happened.

so fucking surreal dude. i can’t wait to do it again!

but it didn’t take much for me to get there, and it didn’t take much for me to almost shift the last time this exact thing happened.

sighhh i’m so close. we’re so close friends. we’re so close!!

also sorry if this is kinda messy i’m just writing thoughts down

END OF POST - HAPPY SHIFTING!

[c0kitty]

NOW PLAYING ... NOBODY KNOWS ft. spider-women!ellie x reader

“…BUT NOBODY KNOWS MY LITTLE SECRET.”

(⭑) summary: r/reddit, when’s the best time to tell your girlfriend of three months, (who you are so desperately in love with) you are that "crazy" vigilante on the news, fighting crime in a spider-suit, and that you now shoot fucking webs out of your wrist. (⭑) content: wc 1.2k+ nerd!ellie. confessions. making out. comfort. spider-man!ellie. established relationship. suggestive. insecure!ellie. HEAVILY inspired from the roof-top scene in tasm bcs im obsessed. cursing.

you guys find yourself on the roof-top of dina’s-friend’s apartment, for a random party, celebrating god-knows what. it's slightly chilly, you stand next to ellie with her oversized jacket on you; despite ellie telling you numerous times it was going to be cold, she was not one to refuse you.

ellie wished she had her camera right now; outside’s a pretty scene with the many buildings scattered, the sky, gradually transitioning into yellow and pink hues, night unfolding, and you, looked so pretty by her side. 

the city below though remains bustling with constant movement, and ellie's mind is no different. because today was going to be the day —

ellie’s hazel-green eyes shift towards you, observing your soft expression, her heart ached with uncertainty as she wondered if you would hate her — hate her for lying, hate her for not being normal, hate her for having so much baggage. hate her for being spider-women. 

“you think dina and jesse are shagging?” you ask, randomly, breaking the comfortable silence. your hands moves to the railing, casually pushing yourself backwards on it.

“saw dina sneakin’ out at 1 am, like she was a teenager. so, yeah, definitely.” 

also due to ellie’s super-senses, she had heard so many “private,” conversations with him and dina she wished to unhear.

you nod your head, turning your attention towards ellie. “so, why do you seem so te—”

“i need to say something,” 

you guys both interrupt each other, it elicits a small giggle from you. “okay... is this about before? is that the reason you’ve been so pissy tonight?” 

you were hinting about earlier. when someone had hit on you, even with you being on ellie's lap, her arms even wrapped at your waist. it irritated the hell out of ellie, leaving her to characteristically run her mouth at em'. 

you almost had to drag her away to stop the growing commotion.

ellie sports a slight pout at her pink-lips. “it’s not my fault men can’t get fucking context clues, it’s a wonder they survive. and i haven’t been “pissy” i—” you raise your eyebrows in response, conveying a silent ‘you sure?’ ellie stops talking, only rolling her eyes.

“okay, whatever, maybe i was but, it's not about that,” ellie wasn’t sure how to start this conversation without sounding crazy or scaring you.

“...i was bitten,” ellie says, bushy brows slightly furrowing.

your head tilts, “that’s a little ominous.” ellie rethinks; maybe that wasn’t a good way to start.

“nevermind. you know, when i was sick. that whole two weeks, couple months back.” you nod your head, “yeah, you said you were sick. projectile vomit and shit. couldn’t lift a finger because it was so bad.” damn, ellie forgot she said all that.

“yeah, um sorry. i lied about that.” before you could say anything, lips pulled into a frown, ellie blurts: “i’m spider-man,” finally with a breath. you’re staring at her, but she can’t decipher your expression. unconsciously, ellie bites at her bottom lip.

silence fills the moment, and ellie finds it unbearable; suddenly, in just a second, your face relaxes. “oh, wait. you’re fucking with me. els thought you were serious for a second.”

ellie was regretting playing pranks on you so much, “i’m not fucking with you,” ellie’s arm cross, unconsciously flexing in the process, but you only a grow smile on your lips, like this was some ongoing joke. “jesus, stop smiling — it’s not a joke y/n,”

“i’ve known you all my life ellie — i think i would know if you were fighting crimes with iron-man,” you ignore her, releasing the bar. “wait just w—”

“lets go els, please. it’s getting cold and i’m tired,” you say, making your move toward the door; but in a quick reaction, ellie’s translucent webs shoots out her wrist, spinning you around til’ you're close, her hands, now holding at your waist.

you’re staring at her, eyes widened comically, and your mouth parted, seemingly trying to process what just happened. ellie's attention was drawn to something else though; light in the distance, drunken footsteps heading their way. 

“you just fucking — shot webs out your hands, ellie! you’re sp—” 

ellie didn’t have much time to think it through, because as soon as the drunkards stumble in, ellie's lips, soft and sweet, press into yours.  “..shh,” ellie whispers, faint to your lips — trying to calm you down.

a small gasp leaves your mouth. but after a second, hearing the commotion behind you; you get the message, relaxing yourself into the kiss.

ellie's kisses are usually greedy, but tender, her hands would rummage your body confidently, possessively pulling you in. but this kiss, its … different. it’s tentative, hesitant, like she was afraid to push.

at that, you try to make her feel comfortable with a subtle touch beneath her loose black-shirt. your lips, coated in strawberry gloss, glides seamlessly over hers, giving her a little push; and it works.

ellie tongue pushes in hastily, its smooth tracing from your lips to your tongue. her moppy-brown hair tickling your chin as she eases in the kiss, embracing the subtle buzzing in her chest. 

you hear the people leave, and it’s silent now, besides the busy cars. “ellie… t–” 

“one more second,” she grumbles, you wanted to keep going, but you still had a lot to say — questions cycling. so you pull away, with a gentle smack of the lips.

she lets out a small groan in response; her cheeks dusted in pink and round eyes flutter open, looking at you in a wistful gaze.

“so… you’re spider-man. well, spider-woman,” you finally say, exhaling. ellie’s eyes shift to the floor. her hands drop from you, and instead, runs through her hair anxiously. “yeah. i know it’s fucked up, and weird. i should’ve told you, warned you, but i—”

you interrupt her depressive rambles, “no, ellie i mean it’s cool, you’re cool. it’s just, fuck.” you take a breath, throwing your hands up. “i was just surprised because you’re, like, nerdy and cute, and then … spiderman, you know?”

ellie’s eyes lifted to meet yours, “relieved” couldn’t fully capture how she felt, but all she could managed to say was: “oh, okay. that’s great, yeah.”

a silence falls between you two in response to ellie’s awkwardness, exchanging glances; both of you burst into a fit of giggles.

“i feel like i should feel offended though, ‘nerdy?’” you playfully nudge at her feet, “you know what i mean. passionate about space, introverted, so obsessed with your grades. it’s like a text-book definition,” ellie couldn’t really deny that, so she just playful rolls her eyes instead.

“...but you know what’s crazy, i had a small tiny crush on spider–man, well you, before we officially dated.” 

ellie’s lips curve into a smile, “so now you get the best of both worlds, huh.” ellie comes closer to you, hands finding their place to your body. "i bet you dreamed of both of us fighting over you, hm?”  

in the quietness that follows, your eyes drift away from ellie, intentionally avoiding her gaze. ellie could tell there was more story to your silence, “wait — did you have a wet dream about spider-man and m—” she begins, but you swiftly cover her mouth.

“...shut it,” you say beyond flustered, which only intensifies ellie's curiosity.

[tanadrin]

Fell down a rabbit hole on ancient Israelite child sacrifice and it’s interesting that 1) it’s basically impossible (without jumping through absurd apologetic hoops) to explain important parts of the Hebrew Bible unless they are reacting to, being revised against, or being overlaid on a literary stratum which assumes the existence of Yahwistic child sacrifice; 2) as such it seems there is a very ancient strand of religious law (renegotiated at a very early date!) which specifically commands the sacrifice of all human and animal firstborn males; 3) like all religious law in the Bible, “one group of elites produced religious literature commanding a thing” doesn’t mean that those commandments represent actual universal and uncontested practices—indeed, one of the reasons people produce religious literature is to argue for a set of practices or to shore up their own position by portraying it as normative, and there is very little evidence that the ancient near eastern law codes (religious or secular) produced for propaganda purposes were used like we might use a modern law code; 4) the Canaanite/Phoenecian/Punic/Northwest Semitic religious milieu was certainly one in which infant sqcrifice was at least irregularly practiced, but no such archeological remains have been found in ancient Israel, but by their very nature this kind of infanticide leaves very little remains behind: infant skeletons are small and mostly cartilage, fire seems to have frequently been involved in such sacrifice, and the reason evidence of Carthaginian child sacrifice survived is bc such remains were interred in jars in Carthaginian tophets. 5) While a lot of modern commentators balk at taking the plain meaning of the relevant passages of the Bible seriously, and think that on grounds of basic social and emotional realism they cannot be read as supporting the existence at one time of Yahwistic child sacrifice, we really do not understand the realities of living in an Iron Age society with its attendant phenomenally high infant mortality rates, where many parents seem to have bonded with their children much later, and fertility rates were much higher to compensate for the basic reality of how often babies died. I would add to that my hunch that people in the ancient past were by modern standards just more likely to be traumatized in general, and that probably fucks up how you deal with violence and the value of human life and how you build systems which create social meaning out of death, too. “People in the past were human beings who loved their children” is not incompatible with “people in the past did horrific shit occasionally because they thought it was spiritually, socially, or materially necessary.”

And I am in some ways sympathetic to people who are reluctant to accept evidence of ancient Israelite, or even ancient Carthaginian child sacrifice. It’s so alien to our own moral sensibilities—it is in fact utterly repugnant to them! Ergo the urge to try to read the evidence differently, even if it requires wild contortions. But we know that (for instance) the death penalty and exposure of infants and religious ordeals would have all been common in the region and it seems a small step to me to imagine some ritualization of these practices that at least imbues infanticide with some kind of deeper spiritual significance, if for no other reason than as a kind of cope. In a way it’s encouraging that we have come so far that we refuse to believe any society could have ever endorsed such a thing. Nor is it a recent transition: much of the overt violence and bloodshed of the ancient Israelite law codes was renegotiated away thousands of years ago, and the renegotiation of child sacrifice happened so early that it was a major part of the formation of those codes in the form that we have them now. That too is encouraging—you don’t need modern, historically contingent sensibilities to look at brutal social systems and go “fuck this, let’s replace them with something kinder and more humane.” That tendency is as much a part of the basic forces that drive human history as our violence or our shortsightedness is.

[mamawasatesttube]

usually i think of lois as cis+ (as in, she's a cis woman but she's put in the work to actually question and analyze why she feels the way she feels) because i think a lot of her character can be tied to being a white woman and learning how to use her privilege to fight for what she believes in + using misogyny and the way people tend to see white women as softer and harmless to her advantage (something she learned early on from her dad's shitty conservative military attitudes), and that is a fascinating set of traits to see in a ruthless careerwoman from older comics.

HOWEVER.

the idea of transfem lois just came to me and i am actually SO compelled. the lane family dynamics narratives you could write about her being the elder "son" that sam always wanted, and him cultivating those ruthless go-getter attitudes in her, only to meet an explosion when she comes out as a girl and approaches transition and femininity with the same stubborn, head-on approach she takes to everything else in her life. how suddenly the things her dad was proud of about her become detrimental in his eyes, because to him she's his golden boy son gone wrong. how sam would prop up lucy as a Proper girl and how it would put strain on lois and lucy's relationship, knowing their dad is playing them against each other. and how that could inform lois's attitudes at the office and also feed into her loneliness. and then her friendship (and eventual romance) with clark, who respects her from day 1, means so much to her. he helps her get out of that defensive shell she grew bc of sam lane, makes her laugh, thinks she's beautiful. and when he finally tells her his biggest secret, she tells him she gets it, kind of. she knows a thing or two about figuring out who you are, and having to decide whether or not to hide, and what's safe. and. okay at this point im just rambling but bro... i think there's something substantial here

[bangcakes]

.

[catboybiologist]

thought you would enjoy the fact that i got accused of lying about being an HSV-1 virology researcher for clout. what clout 😭😭😭 can i have some of this molecular bio/herpes virology clout that supposedly exists

I get accused about lying about being a biologist all the goddamn time online, with a sprinkling of "well they only let you into your program bc you're trans and something something DEI". Which is especially ironic: since I transitioned during grad school, on every academic application I've ever applied for, I've been just another cis dude.

I get that I lean into it by being a bit evasive about my exact research focus, but like, c'mon. Am I really going to doxx myself to win an internet argument?

It 100% has to do with being openly queer, especially trans. People will doubt your credentials and think that you're making them up to validate yourself. Same with any other minority. The modern turn of "anti-DEI" is disastrous rhetoric for minoritized groups, and I think we're entering a long era of openly questioning the credentials of anyone that isn't a cis white man.

This isn't anything new, of course. Usually it takes the form of racism, and as a white trans woman, I can't give any personal experience on that aspect.

Anyways. Ramble over, gotta work.