#AND! I have 1 year of real life work experience in academic editing

[brown-little-robin]

I just applied for a job, everyone clap and cheer!!!

[khofiecloud]

how to preserve your mental health at school

School is probably one of the most mentally taxing things a teen can go through. It certainly is mine. With the pressure to be the best, to get ahead, and to generally succeed, it's hard to not be affected. The mental strain is unavoidable, and I struggled with it for most of my school years, but over time that has led me to find tips that could help anyone going through this cope.

There are a few signs that can tell you whether or not you are being severely affected. You might be unmotivated and apathetic throughout the school day, and just because of school itself. You might feel like crying in school during the whole day and every day. Reasons can range from academic pressure to bullying and social ostracization to feeling inferior to your over achieving classmates.(If it's bullying, please tell someone who can help you) But here's some tips that might help based on what I learned from experience:

Find a piece of comfort (that you can come back to whenever you feel bad) .It can be a show, anime, song , movie, fanfic, manga , book, food, piece of clothing, or really just about anything (my recs are saiki k, ghibli songs and movies) . It’s best to have multiple just in case you get too used to 1 of them.

Get a support system: the way you can get this may differ based on your specific problem but here’s some ideas : make new friends offline or online (best app is slowly) and strengthen your existing relationships with friends and family.

Find a 3rd place which is not electronic: A third place is any public area away from homes and school/work ,where people meet and interact in an open environment. But the real challenge is not making your 3rd place your device .It's hard but here are some ideas for a 3rd place : libraries, arcades, gym, yoga place, sport club, skateparks, playgrounds, parks, coffee shops and cafes, bodegas. Make sure to choose a place where you feel comfortable. 

Get enough sleep: being tired will just make you feel so much worse. Never underestimate the power of a good night's sleep. Just to make it extra too, listen to some calming music, light candles and wear your fanciest sleepwear.

Put your mind on other things and focus on finding things that'll make you proud of yourself: You could get new hobbies, especially creative ones since those allow you to express yourself easily. Some examples are crocheting, embroidery, drawing, painting, sculpting, pottery, dancing, writing music, performance art and writing (stories, poetry, essays)

Take a leap of faith: create or design something based on your interests and skills and share it with the world. This can develop into being your own personal extracurricular activity. It might be scary but that's what makes it so rewarding in the end.

1) Video editing : post videos on your favorite subject and post on tiktok or youtube 2) Fashion and Photography : take pictures of yourself wearing cute clothes (or just your fav ones) and post them on your social media 3) Painting and Sustainability : paint an exhibit and display it in public 4) Volunteering and Social Media: make and run the official Instagram account of a local business 5) Gaming : make a game on roblox 6) Reading: start a book review blog These are just a few pretty ambitious ideas. You don’t have to follow these. Create your own project, it all depends on who you are. Take the best out of all of you (pieces of your soul) and create a masterpiece. If you don't have any interests (post on tips coming soon) just make something out of your skills . Make sure to only take on a project if you have time and resources.

Lastly, this is a tip I got from Quora. It’s to make a slow nights document. You can write this down on paper or open a doc and write down your comforts, favorite movie, favorite art pieces, places you’d like to go in the future, what you think your life will be in 10 years and so on. Just write things that will make you you.

School can make you feel drained, insecure and hurt for so many reasons. It may end up in you being numb and apathetic. In most cases, the problems you have can’t be solved by just forcing yourself to look at the bright side or forcing yourself to avoid or ignore them. They are real issues. And when asking for tips on the internet isn’t enough, I hope this post will help you. It probably didn’t solve all your problems, but I hope it showed you a way to go. Thank you for reading and Good Luck 

[cipdstudy]

5 Common CIPD Study Myths Debunked

Yo, CIPD crew! 🌈 Diving into a CIPD qualification—whether Level 3, 5, or 7—is a bold move toward your HR or L&D career. But let’s talk real: the CIPD world is full of myths that can mess with your head. Ever heard “You need tons of HR experience” or “Level 7 is only for geniuses”? These rumors spread faster than office gossip, and they can make you doubt yourself. 😒 No way—we’re here to set the record straight! In this post, I’m debunking five common CIPD study myths with facts, tips, and a big dose of encouragement. Whether you’re just starting Level 3 or sweating over Level 7 essays, these truths will keep you confident. Let’s bust those myths wide open! 💥 #CIPDMythBusting

Myth 1: You Need Years of HR Experience to Succeed

The Myth: “I can’t do CIPD unless I’ve worked in HR forever!” Many students think Level 5 or 7 is only for seasoned pros, and Level 3 is tough without office know-how. The Truth: CIPD is designed for all career stages. Level 3 is perfect for beginners—no HR experience needed. Level 5 suits those with some work background (any field!), and Level 7 welcomes ambitious learners, not just HR veterans. You bring your curiosity; CIPD teaches the rest. How to Thrive:

Level 3: Focus on learning basics like recruitment or payroll. Use CIPD’s Knowledge Hub for simple guides.

Level 5: Draw on any workplace experience—retail, teaching, whatever—to inform tasks like engagement analysis.

Level 7: Think big-picture. No HR role? Research case studies (e.g., Google’s culture) for strategic essays. Example: A Level 3 student with zero HR experience aced a hiring assignment by studying CIPD blogs. A Level 7 learner used their marketing job to nail a change management essay. Pro Tip: Stuck on examples? CIPD Assignment Help crafts plagiarism-free assignments for Levels 3, 5, and 7, weaving in relevant scenarios—no HR background required!

Myth 2: Level 7 Is Impossible Without a Degree

The Myth: “Level 7 is master’s-level, so I need a bachelor’s degree or I’ll crash and burn!” Some think it’s an academic elite club. The Truth: Level 7 is about skills, not just degrees. CIPD welcomes learners with experience, passion, or lower qualifications (like Level 5). It’s tough—think strategic essays and deep analysis—but doable with effort. No degree? No problem. How to Thrive:

Build research skills early. Use Google Scholar or CIPD’s site for Level 7 topics like DEI or AI in HR.

Practice critical thinking. Question ideas (e.g., “Does Kotter’s model really fit tech firms?”) in your essays.

Start small: Level 7 assignments often break into chunks (e.g., 500-word sections). Tackle one at a time. Example: A Level 7 student with only a diploma rocked an essay on workforce planning by studying CIPD reports and practicing Harvard referencing. Pro Tip: Level 7 feeling heavy? CIPD Assignment Help offers expert writing and editing for complex assignments, helping you shine without a degree.

Myth 3: You Have to Study Full-Time to Pass

The Myth: “CIPD demands all my time—I can’t work or have a life!” Some fear part-time study means falling behind, especially for Level 5’s practical tasks or Level 7’s big projects. The Truth: CIPD is built for busy people. Most students juggle jobs, families, and studies, whether at Level 3 (light workload), Level 5 (moderate), or Level 7 (intense but manageable). Flexible schedules let you study 5–15 hours a week, depending on your pace. How to Thrive:

Set a Routine: Study 1–2 hours nightly or 6–8 hours on weekends. Level 3 needs less; Level 7 needs more.

Use Deadlines: Break assignments into tasks (e.g., “outline Level 5 case study by Friday”). Apps like Trello keep you on track.

Steal Moments: Review Level 3 notes during lunch or read a Level 7 article on your commute. Example: A Level 5 mom studied after her kids’ bedtime, submitting a stellar engagement plan. A Level 7 manager used weekends to ace strategic HRM. Pro Tip: Time crunched? CIPD Assignment Help delivers fast, original assignments for all levels, so you balance life and CIPD like a pro.

Myth 4: Assignments Are All About Memorizing Theory

The Myth: “I need to cram every HR model to pass!” Students worry CIPD is a memory test, from Level 3’s basics to Level 7’s frameworks. The Truth: CIPD values application over rote learning. Level 3 wants you to explain HR tasks simply, Level 5 to apply theories to work, and Level 7 to critique models strategically. Understanding beats memorizing every time. How to Thrive:

Learn Key Models: Know a few well—Maslow for Level 3 motivation, Herzberg for Level 5 engagement, PESTLE for Level 7 strategy.

Apply to Cases: Link theories to scenarios. E.g., use Tuckman’s stages for a Level 5 team issue, not just recite it.

Use Examples: Real-world stories (your job, news) make theories stick. No job? Check CIPD case studies. Example: A Level 3 student explained onboarding with a simple checklist, no theory overload. A Level 7 learner critiqued SWOT with a Netflix example—assessors loved it. Pro Tip: Struggling to apply ideas? CIPD Assignment Help weaves theories into practical, plagiarism-free assignments that hit CIPD marks.

Myth 5: Failing One Assignment Means Failing CIPD

The Myth: “If I bomb one assignment, my CIPD dreams are toast!” Fear of failure haunts students, especially with Level 7’s complex essays or Level 5’s tight deadlines. The Truth: CIPD is forgiving. One weak assignment won’t sink you—most centers allow resubmissions or extra attempts. Each task is a learning chance, not a dealbreaker. Plus, assessors want you to succeed! How to Thrive:

Learn from Feedback: If a Level 3 report flops, check comments (e.g., “add examples”) and fix it next time.

Prep Smart: For Level 5, outline answers to avoid missing brief points. Level 7? Research deeply to strengthen arguments.

Ask for Help: Tutors, peers, or forums like CIPD’s Community can clarify doubts before submission. Example: A Level 5 student resubmitted a case study after adding data—passed with praise. A Level 7 learner tweaked a failed essay’s structure and nailed the redo. Pro Tip: Need a safety net? CIPD Assignment Help offers editing or full writing for Levels 3, 5, and 7, ensuring your assignments soar, not stumble.

Need a Confidence Boost?

Myths can shake anyone’s vibe, but you’re stronger than the rumors. If CIPD feels daunting—whether it’s Level 3 basics, Level 5 cases, or Level 7 strategies—CIPD Assignment Help is your wingman. Their experts craft tailored, original assignments that meet CIPD standards, helping you tackle any challenge. Visit CIPD Assignment Help to keep your study game unstoppable!

Wrapping Up

CIPD myths are just noise—you’ve got what it takes to crush it, no matter your level. You don’t need an HR empire, a fancy degree, or 24/7 study marathons. Just bring your drive, apply what you learn, and know one slip won’t stop you. Level 3, 5, or 7, you’re building an HR career that rocks. Bust those myths, keep pushing, and follow CIPD Study Guide for more tips to slay your studies! 💪 What CIPD myth tripped you up? Share below—I’m curious!

Let’s Chat!

Got a CIPD myth you believed? Or one I missed? Drop it in the comments, and let’s debunk it together! Reblog if this cleared the fog, and follow CIPD Study Guide for more HR study realness. Need pro help? Hit up CIPD Assignment Help to ace those assignments. Let’s keep the momentum going! 🎉 #CIPD #MythBusting

[pet-genius]

The Death Eaters as a Cult - Part 1

This is a very lightly edited old Reddit post, that I'll publish in parts because the whole thing is like 7000 words. Analyzing Voldemort, the DE and their dynamics, Dumbledore and Harry in comparison, and individual Death Eaters. Hope you like it!

Some say Voldemort is a cartoon villain, or wizard Hitler. I think he is very realistic, and that the focus on his political aspirations ignores interesting aspects of him. I cannot prove that JKR had cults in mind when she wrote Voldemort and his followers, but this is how I read them. It’s nearly impossible to define a cult, so, for the purpose hereof, I’m going with “a group dedicated to the worship of a person”. Many cult leaders in real life present themselves merely as “god’s voice” or “the messiah”, but Voldemort specifically didn’t bother to hide behind a power higher than himself.

Tom Riddle comes from humble beginnings, like many cult leaders - he’s raised in an orphanage. He already has delusions of grandeur, only in this case they’re not delusions, because he really is magic, which makes it all the more dangerous. Look how he reacted to discovering he was a wizard, and how Harry did.

Immediately following the revelation that Lily and James did not die in a car crash, and that Harry is famous, and that he survived an attempt at his life by the worst wizard in history:

Hagrid looked at Harry with warmth and respect blazing in his eyes, but Harry, instead of feeling pleased and proud, felt quite sure there had been a horrible mistake. A wizard? Him? How could he possibly be? He’d spent his life being clouted by Dudley, and bullied by Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon; if he was really a wizard, why hadn’t they been turned into warty toads every time they’d tried to lock him in his cupboard? If he’d once defeated the greatest sorcerer in the world, how come Dudley had always been able to kick him around like a football?

“Hagrid,” he said quietly, “I think you must have made a mistake. I don’t think I can be a wizard.”

Heart-breaking. Harry doesn’t believe he can be special, he blames himself for the way he’s treated.

This is Tom Riddle:

“I know that you are not mad. Hogwarts is not a school for mad people. It is a school of magic.”

There was silence. Riddle had frozen, his face expressionless, but his eyes were flickering back and forth between each of Dumbledore’s, as though trying to catch one of them lying. “Magic?” he repeated in a whisper.

“That’s right,” said Dumbledore.

“It’s... it’s magic, what I can do?”

“What is it that you can do?”

“All sorts,” breathed Riddle. A flush of excitement was rising up his neck into his hollow cheeks; he looked fevered. “I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to.”

His legs were trembling. He stumbled forward and sat down on the bed again, staring at his hands, his head bowed as though in prayer.

“I knew I was different,” he whispered to his own quivering fingers. “I knew I was special. Always, I knew there was something.”

His megalomania and violent nature are already apparent, as is his preternatural control of his magic. It also hints at rudimentary legilimency.

Dumbledore spells out that young Tom Riddle equated magic with immortality and liked to collect trophies, and that Tom Riddle liked being special, as he resents the name Tom for being too common; he already lives behind a mask and only shows his true face in shock. This, and not Dumbledore’s magical prowess, is what always scared Tom. Voldemort knew Dumbledore knew what he was. That was the only tactical advantage Dumbledore had.

It’s also one of JKR’s strokes of brilliance: Dumbledore saw Tom for what Tom was, and others never did until it was too late, not because he was that clever, but because he knew from experience. Dumbledore had allowed himself to fall for a charismatic but heartless man before, and it took Ariana dying to slap him awake. Dumbledore knows good people can be led astray: It happened to him. It has nothing to do with intelligence or “goodness”. Gellert was able to give Albus exactly what Albus lacked, stuck at home taking care of Ariana: the promise of freedom and a bright future, and the companionship of an equal. Albus fell for it, despite warning signs that should have been obvious.

Later, we know Tom is chosen by a wand of yew and phoenix feather. Both yew and phoenix are associated with immortality; yew trees are very long-lived. Compare this to Harry’s wand, holly and phoenix feather: both these characters will experience death and rebirth, except Tom Riddle’s wand tree is yew, and Harry’s is holly.

From Wikipedia: “The Christian church commonly found it expedient to take over existing pre-Christian sacred sites for churches. It has also been suggested that yews were planted at religious sites as their long life was suggestive of eternity, or because, being toxic when ingested, they were seen as trees of death.” Also from Wikipedia: “Christians have identified a wealth of symbolism in the holly tree’s form. The sharpness of the leaves help to recall the crown of thorns worn by Jesus; the red berries serve as a reminder of the drops of blood that were shed for salvation; and the shape of the leaves, which resemble flames, can serve to reveal God's burning love for His people.”

The two orphans’ wildly different views of death are also apparent in their wand trees. Voldemort will murder to attain his goals; Harry will sacrifice himself. That the phoenix feather came from Fawkes is also meaningful - Dumbledore taught both magic in some capacity, but he never could defeat Voldemort, because they’re too alike. One of Harry’s advantages in this battle is the integrity of his soul, which cannot be compromised.

Next, Tom Riddle is sorted into Slytherin. For a child who is already prone to megalomania, the house values bring out the worst in him, and under Slughorn, he grows into a manipulative, cunning, ruthless young man. I’m not blaming Horace for Tom being a psychopath, but some of the particular ways his psychopathy manifested in seem to have been directly due to Slughorn’s influence. Slughorn is a blood-supremacist, who was convinced Tom must come from fine stock. Slughorn tests drinks for poison using house elves; Tom Riddle tests the effectiveness of his Horcrux’s protection on Kreacher. Slughorn emphasizes the importance of connections and outright praises Tom for knowing more than he needs to, and encourages an attitude of “it’s only wrong if you get caught.” But Slughorn, prejudiced and cunning as he is, is not violent - he is academically curious about Horcruxes, but he finds them repugnant. Tom’s heart is not so faint - at the point of asking Slughorn about Horcruxes, the diary is already a horcrux, and Tom has already murdered his father. This is how Dumbledore describes Tom’s original gang, who were the proto-Death Eaters:

As he moved up the school, he gathered about him a group of dedicated friends; I call them that, for want of a better term, although as I have already indicated, Riddle undoubtedly felt no affection for any of them. This group had a kind of dark glamour within the castle. They were a motley collection; a mixture of the weak seeking protection, the ambitious seeking some shared glory, and the thuggish gravitating toward a leader who could show them more refined forms of cruelty. In other words, they were the forerunners of the Death Eaters, and indeed some of them became the first Death Eaters after leaving Hogwarts. Rigidly controlled by Riddle, they were never detected in open wrongdoing, although their seven years at Hogwarts were marked by a number of nasty incidents to which they were never satisfactorily linked, the most serious of which was, of course, the opening of the Chamber of Secrets, which resulted in the death of a girl. As you know, Hagrid was wrongly accused of that crime.

Dumbledore explains what motivated people to join Tom: some were afraid, some ambitious, some cruel. He controlled his so-called friends, and already started framing others for his own crimes (Hagrid’s framing was followed by Morfin’s and Hokey the house elf’s).

This is followed by Tom’s attempt to become a teacher (Dumbledore spells out his motivations: He is attached to the school, he wants to study its magic, and he already wants to build himself an army). He is denied, oddly chooses to work for Borgin and Burkes, a choice fueled by the desire to trace down more items to make into Horcruxes. Through the memory of the meeting with Heptzibah Smith, we see that Tom was definitely charming when he needed to be, and knew how to make people feel good. He did not use magic to trick her into showing him her precious locket and cup: he used muggle manipulation - flattery, making an old and forlorn lady feel valuable, perhaps even flirting with her (she’s certainly flirting with him). He was pleasant enough that Ms. Smith eagerly looked forward to his visits - but as she showed him her treasures, he was caught off guard by hearing about his mother and how she sold the locket, and she saw him for what he was, although she quickly fell into denial. Sadly, she was murdered two days later.

Why rely on Horcruxes to gain immortality? Tom must have known about Nicholas Flamel and the Philosopher’s Stone, and the Horcruxes require someone else to perform the resurrection ritual. Either making the Stone is so hard that it would deter Tom (unlikely), or he already expected to rely on followers who would find him and revive him - he certainly seems to have expected his followers to have searched for him earlier. Maybe Horcruxes were appealing because they require murder. In any case, this is followed by the memory of Tom asking Dumbledore for the DADA job again, a decade later. Tom has spent a decade gathering followers, and he has already changed his name to Lord Voldemort. This is reminiscent of real life cult leader David Koresh, and the leaders of the Children of God, Aum Shinrikyo, etc. The meeting between Voldemort and Albus is interesting, because it’s clear that Dumbledore had tried to teach Tom about the power of love:

“The old argument,” he said softly. “But nothing I have seen in the world has supported your famous pronouncements that love is more powerful than my kind of magic, Dumbledore.”

“Perhaps you have been looking in the wrong places,” suggested Dumbledore.

This did not help. Tom never learned - how could he? At 16, he was already a murderer - who could love him now for who he was? He could never be truly loved, and he could never truly love another, and he underestimated the power of love for his entire life, leading to his downfall - twice (were that it was so simple in real life).

Voldemort is trying to obfuscate the nature of the relationship, like all cults - they never admit this is what they are.

“I am glad to hear that you consider them friends,” said Dumbledore. “I was under the impression that they are more in the order of servants.”

“You are mistaken,” said Voldemort.

But LV can’t lie to Dumbledore, who changes the subject. He denies him the DADA job again, and the curse is placed on the job. LV’s ascent is due to begin in a few years. Hagrid tells the story:

Anyway, this — this wizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin’ fer followers. Got ’em, too — some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o’ his power, ’cause he was gettin’ himself power, all right. Dark days, Harry. Didn’t know who ter trust, didn’t dare get friendly with strange wizards or witches...

Voldemort isn’t just interested in immortality. He wants complete control. He wants everyone fearing him - even fearing his name. He has people isolated and distrustful, fearing for their lives.

But we know his reign of terror was dreadful - what I’m interested in is the way he treated his own followers. We know little about how he treated them in the first war, but we do have what Sirius had to say about Regulus’s fate:

From what I found out after he died, he got in so far, then panicked about what he was being asked to do and tried to back out. Well, you don’t just hand in your resignation to Voldemort. It’s a lifetime of service or death.

We know the real story of Regulus’s disappearance, and it’s different. Kreacher tells us that Regulus died in the Horcrux cave - but more telling is that Regulus forbade Kreacher from telling his parents what had happened to him. Why did he feel the need to do that? This suggests that Regulus knew LV destroyed traitors’ families, which is a tactic used in cults and other abusive dynamics. We know LV would leverage Draco’s welfare against Lucius for his failure in the Department of Mysteries, too. We know also that instead of going to Dumbledore, or to his own brother, Regulus chose death – unless he was really dumb, and I don’t think he was, he must have been manipulated into believing that was his only option, or his world made no sense after his faith had shattered. So many people never readjust to life outside the cult.

Voldemort “dies” about two years after that, having successfully recruited about 400 followers (“the death eaters outnumbered us the Order 20:1” - Lupin). We can’t say if all these people were genuine Death Eaters or people who had been Imperiused or otherwise coerced, or allies like Narcissa, but that coercion is used to recruit shows that Voldemort did not take his own followers’ ambitions and wishes into account. People who use outright coercion don't suddenly draw the line at manipulation.

[academla]

Guys, I made it!

Wow, it’s crazy to be back on here. I don’t know if anyone still follows me and/or remembers I exist, at this point. I came here because I finally let go of my domain name. It was a really difficult decision which felt like leaving a part of my life behind me and closing a chapter, but I don’t use this blog enough anymore to justify the cost. 

I created this blog over FIVE years ago. It’s associated with so many memories - primarily good, but also some of the shittiest times of my life. Regardless, my time in the studyblr community was pretty formative and I’m so glad I was able to experience it. I have zero regrets and never will.

Even though I’m leaving it behind indefinitely, my blog will forever be a part of me. I’m still getting emails and some comments on the fanfic that somehow stirred up controversy and drama in 2017, I actually sent The Academic Zine to one of my account leads at work the other day, and in my interview for my current job I talked a lot about how running my blog influenced and reflected who I am, my strengths as well as my weaknesses. I’m still in touch with the company that reached out to me about collaborating on a self-help book so you never know... maybe someday the stars will align and that will pan out!

This is more for my own closure than anything (so please forgive my rambling) but I know I have periodically come here and posted brief updates. If I recall correctly, they are usually also associated with empty promises/declarations of an inevitable return, which I can safely say is most likely not going to happen anytime soon.

Hard to believe I had just graduated high school when I first joined. To those who still remember me and my journey - trying to juggle mental health, school, and paying my way through college - here’s a final (for now... I’ll probably be on here in another 5 years when all the people I used to follow are like, getting married and having babies LOL) update on my achievements in the past year or so. I’m by no means perfect and I have a long but exciting road ahead of me, but put in the context of the person I was even 2 years ago, I would say with cautious optimism and pride that I did indeed make it.

Updates below, in case you aren’t reeling enough from the wall of text that just unexpectedly popped up on your dash...

- I graduated summa cum laude from the honors college in May 2020 with my psychology BS and the 4.0 GPA that my mental health sometimes seemed destined to make an impossible achievement. Even in the end I had to take an Incomplete for one of my courses because I was unfortunately in the midst of a relapse. This shit is real, guys. But even in spite of it, I was able to succeed.

- I paid for 6 out of all 8 semesters, as was my goal all along - through working my ass off and trying to be somewhat responsible with money. Donations I received through here were a massive help as well and I’ll be forever grateful for each and every person who contributed. I also applied for and received a few merit scholarships, which helped. I graduated with $15k of debt, which is less than half the national average. So, I did pretty well for myself.

- I’ve undergone some tough mental health challenges and hurdles. Some of the darkest times I’ve ever sustained, where I was scared for/of myself and was so much worse than I was when I was 15 yet had so fewer resources. Somehow I made it through - and will continue to. I made that pledge in 2015 and I still stand by it.

- I’m now working for a market research company. I knew by graduation that I didn’t want to be in academia, but I didn’t know if I had enough passion/commitment to a clinical career to undergo the financial, mental, and academic burden of a graduate program. I had a minor existential crisis over that all summer. Fortuitously, I emailed one of my favorite psychology professors from my freshman year and her son-in-law was able to refer me to this market research company. Everything came together and I love my job more than ANYTHING. Work is (most of the time) incredibly fun and something I look forward to every day. 

- EDITED TO ADD: I’m also living on my own in the city, hooray! I thought the day would never come, but luckily it did. It’s painfully expensive (because city) but for the amenities, location, and quality of the 1-bedroom apartment relative to many other options I looked at, it’s worth it. We can reassess whether or not I’m broke in August when the lease is up.

Listen, I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I’ve dealt with a lot of adversity and trauma, too. And at the same time I am fortunate: I was raised in a (mostly) loving household, I was afforded educational opportunities that not everyone is lucky enough to have, I was able to get the help and support I needed when I was unsafe. I won’t invalidate my own struggles because the hard work I’ve invested, the literal blood, sweat, and tears, all of that - that was real and valid. But I don’t take a single thing for granted.

I made it, and you can too. If you are a stranger wondering who the hell I am, you can go here if you want to be assaulted by a wall of text, or here for a more concise and recently updated synopsis.

That’s all I’ll say for now (did anyone miss my novel-length posts?) but I do still manage my email address (academlastudyblr@gmail.com) if for any reason anyone is looking to connect. 

Just for the hell of it, I’m also updating some of my pages. Catch you (I’m talking into a void right now, I know) on the flip side!

[synthmusic91]

thoughts? kjfhlkjdfh asking bc i rb'd the original post from u a bit ago because i agreed w/ original poster but i just saw this rb of it and wanted to know what u thought. ciaran(.)tumblr(.)com /post/652413157345820673/there-is-a-genre-of-posts-thats-obsessed-with-the

well first of all i hope this isn't a bait ask. this reply really doesn't deserve the time and effort i put into refuting it, but there was a point in time when i was emotionally confused by these..."arguments", so whoever u are, anon, i hope this is helpful. i also recommend some distance - literally, "go outside and touch grass", which is a lot more difficult than it sounds, but it needs to be done. anyway, here's my "analysis":

for context, here's what the post in question said:

and the tags:

at a high level, we can see that what ciaran is saying doesn't really respond to what OP was talking about. for this reason, i'm not going to bring in much of what OP said, because it's uncontested in this context, and look at ciaran's reply. i'll try to break this up...

EDIT: i had a long-ass response here, but then i realized it was dumb because the source material is dumb. i cut out most of it, but here are the highlights.

"there is a genre of posts that’s obsessed with the notion that fandom is something much larger, more prevalent, and more able to affect the way media is processed and consumed, than it actually is in reality."

so, as we can all see on tiktok and, indeed, on the electronic lore olympus billboard that takes up a side of a literal skyscraper, fandom is no longer the niche thing that "fandom olds" make it out to be. also, we can't ignore how many (white) fandom players go on and work in the industry (cassandra clare, whoever wrote 50 shades, man idk much of anything so there's probably many more). so this comment is sort of myopic. and since this is what characterizes the rest of the reply, well...it's not great.

also don't look up lore olympus; it's basically a dd/////lg fanfic that happens to be one of the most popular series on the line webtoon app, which is rated for teens...and for $1 to the creator's patreon, you can view not sfw p*dophilic art, so. also obviously i didnt do that; there was a video essay about this. i can't find it though

"ironically but understandably, these posts are made by people who are so terminally fandom-poisoned that they ascribe phenomenal power to it, and think of it as some great evil that must be defeated (by making posts on tumblr, which is obviously a very influential thing to do)"

"fandom-poisoned" is such a nebulous term, especially since it appears to mean "has had some really significant, (in this context) bad experiences with fandom." this is, first of all, a huge assumption to make about a stranger, and second, not the own they think it is. i'm just going to link this post, and hopefully you can see how it relates.

anyway, the "making posts on tumblr is meaningless" is um...interesting, seeing as off the top of my head i can think of two very influential tumblr blogs that talk about really important issues, Gradient Lair and Red Light Politics. I don't know as much about Red Light Politics, but Gradient Lair is frequently cited by academics (not getting into academia nonsense now but... -_-). also, they sound more pissed that the original post did gain traction, but whatever. this paragraph doesn't really make sense, but nothing here does, because i wasn't given much to work with.

"...and then because these people have basically no imagination and unfailingly pick on others for their own faults, they project their own experiences on everyone they perceive as being more ‘in fandom’ than them,"

jesus christ. i'm going not say anything about the tone of this because i put too much effort into this for some rando to call me a cyberbully.

i think what they're thinking about is how there appear to be some "fandom critical" people who try to, holistically, "ruin everyone's good time" by "stirring up drama" about popular fandom artists/writers/whoever else idk. oftentimes these people will also make jokes about fandom whatever, seemingly picking on random people's interests.

however, if you look at the long history of fandom racism, fandom's normalization of p*dophilia, and even general fandom harassment, and then you look at fandom's visceral, unwarranted reaction to criticism regarding these things, you can quickly see that disillusionment towards fandom is entirely reasonable. as for the joking, well...this an oversimplification but not everyone needs to like what you like. it sounds like they just need to get over themself.

and go “You, a 27 year old queer blogger who is into [tv show/anime/movie] an embarrassing amount, are now going to be the face of Capitalism” with no self-reflection or critical thought given to how fucking cringe it is-"

so, i'm regretting putting so much effort into this because this is so fucking long and i have to analyze this nonsense...it feels like i'm back in my feminist thought class. nightmarish. but anyway, this seems to deal with- [CUT FOR LENGTH. nothing important was missed].

EDIT 2: actually here's a summary of what I had. it deserves better than to be a response to this nonsense, but first it detailed how this took 1. the op's post and 2. a comment that we don't even know if op agreed with and misinterpreted that, and threw quite a fit about this- and i hate to say this because this term is misused so often by redditors, but- strawman.

I then went on to discuss how, for example, PoC can uphold systems of white supremacy. while obviously no person of color is going to be the "face" of white supremacy, the discussion still needs to be had, especially within that group. similarly, while fandom constituents may not be the face of capitalism, there needs to be a discussion, within fandom, on how they support and are defined by capitalist (and other) systems.

it was really too good of a point to be making for this trash reply. I could go say more, but I'm still trying to stay on topic, unlike ciaran.

"to act like random people on the internet, end users with no influence over corporate decisions, are the ones personally responsible for the fact that late-stage capitalism has destroyed popular art and culture in an increasingly sordid attempt to make money."

we've been over the "no influence" bit - because in fact fans do have influence, especially since media creators are literally fans, etc etc. i'm tired of people acting like they have no power and using that as an excuse to support and perpetuate harmful, easily avoidable behavior.

also, to act like the nebulous system of late-stage capitalism is the only cause of bad media is ludicrous. first of all, someone has to make these so-called "corporate decisions", and the people making artistic decisions are, again, overwhelmingly members of "fandom." this comment is really trying to keep marvel trash and lore olympus-esque nonsense in the same atomic, indivisible category lest someone catches a whiff of nuance.

"the above post is a great example of this phenomenon because op admits freely that they only think fandom is destroying media because they have been spending more time in fandom and thus have an over-inflated sense of its importance in greater culture. posting your own Ls indeed."

i'm so tired. this person literally has 120 works on ao3 like...who is spending more time in fandom.

and the tags:

#i assure you that fandom has no bearing on my actual real life #and if it does on yours. then that is your problem #it's also a very funny problem to

now this is just egregiously tone deaf. you do not need to do more than a cursory google search to find a bottomless well of examples of fandom harassment, threats, doxxing, and violence, much of which is racially motivated. you can see why it would be bad to make fun of this. 

also the way that “fandom has no bearing on their actual real life“...120 fanfics on ao3. 120.

conclusion:

the reply clearly misinterprets of op's point, and as such, does not refute it. they responded to another issue altogether, which is that of the sanctity of their ~coping mechanism~ or whatever it is. their argument in this respect was, in my opinion, delusional and pathetic, especially given that they wrote it on someone else's unrelated post.

FINAL NOTE: i cut out lots of this because the reply went in so many different directions, so some stuff might not make sense. let me know if you have any questions.

[ts-storytime]

Beta List 2021

A list of betas for the 2020 TS-Storytime Big Bang! This will detail the beta’s URL, beta type(s), preferred genres, genres that make them uncomfortable, and any other additional information.

The beta types are:

Developmental beta: I’d like to help create the plot and help the writer shape the story.

Basic beta: editing for spelling/grammatical errors, or things like consistency in the story.

Cheerleading beta: Cheering for the writer to keep going!

This list has been posted in order of their sign-up. If a beta chooses to no longer be available, DM me, and this list will be updated for their url to be striked through like this. Updated as of 5/1/21.

@cardigancladpatton

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: No preference

Genres they want to avoid: No preference

Additional info: N/A

@houser-of-stories

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: Humour, Ghosts or Heists or Historical Settings, Mythology AUs, Messing with Time is always something I’m interested in

Genres they want to avoid: NSFW, anything with an unhappy ending (ambiguous/open ended is fine), incredibly graphic injuries

Additional info: I’ve got a little bit of experience under my belt, and I’m open to pretty much anything!

@d4rk3stn1ght

Beta types: Developmental and cheerleading

Preferred genres: No

Genres they want to avoid: No

Additional info: I tend to add a lot of angst/hurt comfort but I also like to ping pong ideas. Almost like a verbal rp and it gets both ideas generated in the person's mind

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly

Beta types: Basic

Preferred genres: I’m comfortable with anything and don’t have any major triggers so I can handle the heavy stuff well. I love angst but am fine w anything! 

Genres they want to avoid: I’m not huge on medieval fantasy but am willing to do it! 

Additional info: N/A

@thewordyhibiscus

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: I'm fine with any genre!

Genres they want to avoid: There are no genres I'd be uncomfortable working with.

Additional info: There is nothing else I'd like to add.

@davidthetraveler

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: I'm good with most things.

Genres they want to avoid: NSFW content, "No happy ending" stories, certain ships, certain types of triggering or squicky content.  If you're not sure if your story's content is something I'd be uncomfortable with, feel free to discuss it with me.

Additional info: As a developmental Beta, I would be available to help you sort out what needs to happen in your story.  I can help find ways to get from one point to another.  I can help to set the tone and feel for the story.  I can also be there to ask questions to challenge you to figure things out for yourself.  And I can even review stories to see if they make internal logical sense.  But I will always defer to you, the author, on what will actually be put into your story. As an editing Beta, my philosophy is that it is not my job to tell you what your voice needs to be, but rather to help your voice be clear and understandable.  I will correct spelling and grammar, as well as punctuation.  And I will occasionally suggest a different word or phrasing to better express what you're trying to say.  But you will always have the final say, and I will do my best never to overwrite your voice.

@pretty-hog-wild

Beta types: Basic

Preferred genres: Fantasy, slice of life, college au, disney (if that is a genre)

Genres they want to avoid: Horror

Additional info: N/A

@purplepatton

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: No preference! 

Genres they want to avoid: Smut

Additional info: I've beta'd before, both for fandom and academic work, so I have some experience! My time zone is EST, and I use discord frequently so you can reach me easily on there! I'm excited to see the amazing stories that come out of this years bang :)

@wisherbysharlight

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: Romance

Genres they want to avoid: Angst

Additional info: N/A

@sides-on-a-string

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: I like fantasy and sci-fi!

Genres they want to avoid: I'm not fond of horror.

Additional info: N/A

@chaoticcartoonlokibiscuit

Beta types: Basic

Preferred genres: Fantasy or Adventure are my favorites! 

Genres they want to avoid: I'm not really comfortable with very graphic stories that include sexual or violent content. I'm fine with fights and violence, as long as it isn't too explicit or dark. Horror also isn't my favorite, but I don't mind if the story's a little scary. Again, just not too explicit.

Additional info: I signed up as a beta reader to check for spelling/ grammatical and continuity errors but if the writer I'm helping wants any plot-related advice, I'd be happy to share my ideas about that as well!

@kieraelieson

Beta types: Basic and cheerleading

Preferred genres: Fantasy, sci-fi, canon-ish

Genres they want to avoid: Romance

Additional info: I really prefer to work with Gen stories, or stories with a smaller emphasis on ships. 

@meglooy

Beta types: Basic and cheerleading

Preferred genres: Sci-fi, fantasy, hurt/comfort, G/t

Genres they want to avoid: Nsfw, Major character death, Unsympathetic sides (morally grey ok)

Additional info: Please don't be afraid to correct me if I'm doing something wrong, I'm kinda new at this, and I want to get better

@pattonkittysquad2

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: No preference

Genres they want to avoid: Extreme horror/cosmic horror

Additional info: I can't do anything with unsympathetic characters

@youronelesbianfriend

Beta types: Basic and cheerleading

Preferred genres: Most

Genres they want to avoid: Anything with unsympathetic patton 

Additional info: N/A

@starshineandbooks

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: No preference

Genres they want to avoid: NSFW Content

Additional info: Nope I'm pretty easy going

@confinesofpersonalknowledge

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: fiction, high-fantasy, children aus

Genres they want to avoid: ones with too much character suffering

Additional info: not really!

@do-your-socks-have-holes-in-them

Beta types: Developmental and basic

Preferred genres: AUs with fun worldbuilding potential; hurt/comfort (I am pretty good at it); fantasy

Genres they want to avoid: Stories with: major focus on heavy real-world issues; canon characters written as abusive or irredeemably awful; hopeless endings

Additional info: I'm an adult, and would be comfortable working with NSFW content as long as the writer is also an adult.

@poppytres

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: Nope, any is fine!

Genres they want to avoid: Anything dealing with pregnancy, but given it's Sanders sides, I doubt that will be an issue.

Additional info: You guys are going to do so good!

@legendsgates

Beta types: Developmental and basic

Preferred genres: Angst/whump with a happy ending, canonical aus, alien aus, soulmate aus, superpower aus, time travel (in canonical aus), pre-accepting anxiety aus

Genres they want to avoid: Sad or ambiguous endings, major character death, unsympathetic sides

Additional info: (Tumblr isn’t letting me receive messages right now, so if you want to contact me I’m on discord as ShadowState#2367) I’m a bit more experienced with line editing than developmental, but I’ll do my best to help with both!)

@anxious-logic

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: No preference

Genres they want to avoid: NSFW, any unsympathetic sides, horror, unhappy endings

Additional info: N/A

@harper-is-a-little-sh1t

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: Romance, fluff, hurt/comfort

Genres they want to avoid: NSFW, unhappy endings, gore, unsympathetic sides, anything with more than a passing mention of over/under-eating

Additional info: I'm not really a fan of Remrom or Dukeceit and would prefer not to work with writing involving either of those. I have no problem with people shipping them but I'm just personally not comfortable.

@psychedelicships

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: i love fantasy AUs but i'll be willing to work with any!

Genres they want to avoid: I'm a minor, so no NSFW. 

Additional info: English IS my first language, and I'll be willing to beta multiple works! I'm fine with any ship except r/m/rm

@let-the-words-be-free

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: I'm best with fantasy but I work well with any genre.

Genres they want to avoid: N/A

Additional info: I'm in school for editing and creative writing plus I love to cheer people on! I'm ready and willing to help!

@yellowroseartist

Beta types: Cheerleading

Preferred genres: Cannonverse, Urban/Modern, Slice of Life, maybe even Fantasy

Genres they want to avoid: NSFW, Unsympathetic Sides, Horror or graphic violence, Unhappy ending (ambiguous/open ended is fine), Superhero Stories, Soulmate AUs

Additional info: I've never beta before, but I have done some writing and such for fun so I may be able to help w/ more developmental stuff if needed!

@earmuffstar

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: Hm, I prefer canonverse, but I'll work with anything

Genres they want to avoid: Nothing explicit please?

Additional info: I'll probably be better at spelling/grammar/consistency/flow editing than plot editing, but I offer my services for it regardless

@5-falsehoods-phonated

Beta types: Basic

Preferred genres: Nope! I'm good wherever I'm needed.

Genres they want to avoid: No, I'm okay reading anything.

Additional info: Not that I can think of. 

@infawrit10

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: Nope!  I’m partial to certain ships like Prinxiety and Moceit, but I’m happy and willing to work with anything, pretty much!

Genres they want to avoid: Anything with heavy angst, rape/non-con elements, NSFW/NSFS, and romantic Moxiety (platonic or familial is fine, though!)

Additional info: The best way to reach me would be through tumblr DMs.  I’m so excited to work with you!

@averykedavra

Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: fantasy, human au, and/or superheroes!

Genres they want to avoid: hurt no comfort, major character death, or other heavily angsty subject matter

Additional info: N/A

@mariniacipher​

​Beta types: Developmental and basic

Preferred genres: Any type of fantasy would be welcome, but I’m fine with most genres. 

Genres they want to avoid: Tragedies and hanahaki are both a no for me. 

Additional info: I have a bunch of experience under my belt and while i am thorough, this is always in service of the story’s improvement. I’d adore to work with one of the many lovely works which will be part of this challenge, and am very much looking forward to that 😊. 

@violetgauze

​Beta types: Developmental, basic, and cheerleading

Preferred genres: angst/found family/romance 

Genres they want to avoid: smut, action, anything sexual, abuse/assault, suicide

Additional info: no experience in beta-ing but i've written fiction before (not for sanders sides) 

@fruit-snacc-ace

​Beta types: Developmental and cheerleading

Preferred genres: Not particularly! I'm pretty much open to everything!

Genres they want to avoid: I'm a minor, so I can't work with nsfw fics, but other than that I'm okay with pretty much everything!

Additional info: I can't wait to work with other authors! I'm so excited to help them out!

[bangtan-madi]

All Of Our Lifetimes — One: Daymare

Pairing — Taehyung x Reader

Tags — boyfriend!Taehyung, husband!Taehyung reincarnation au, lovers to strangers and to lovers again, established relationship, implied soulmate au

Genre — fluff, angst, crime (ish)

Word Count — 2.7k

Summary — Does love ever truly end, or does it simply take another form in a new life? The cycle is like clockwork: your lives end and you’re reborn again. You’ve lived it over and over. Each cycle, one of you loses your memories and is tragically unaware until the other finds and awakens their lover. After all these eons, all these lifetimes, is it possible to find each other again—even when neither of you awakens with your memories? 

Part — 1 / 10

Warnings — swearing

A/N — This is going up a few hours earlier than I said previously, but I don’t care! Tuesday is the worst day of the week so I need to put out something good lol. Enjoy!

Previous — Next

"Find me... Find me... F—"

"—Oh, fuck me!"

Milo's temper tantrum draws you from your intense daydream. Jolting in your seat, breath ragged and heartbeat racing, you see your roommate throw a copy of her resume across the living room in a burst of rage.

"Fuck you," she points sharply at the paper, "fuck this, and fuck me!"

As Milo throws herself onto the couch, draping her forearm dramatically across her eyes, she heaves a heavy sigh and groans loudly.

"How are we supposed to have this much experience for an entry-level job, [Y/n]? We were lied to. I feel wronged. Can I sue?"

You shake your head, trying to push the daymare away from your mind. It's not the first time this has happened, and it certainly won't be the last, but somehow that man's face keeps coming back to you. Day and night, he's all you see when you close your eyes, almost like a memory...

You feign a smile as you reply, "Who are you gonna sue, Mi? You're the one that insisted on doing your resume yourself, after our internships."

Milo gestures extravagantly with her free hand, making shapes in the air with her fingers. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe the professor who told us that we'd have enough to get a job overseas by the time we graduated? Maybe the damned school who never mentioned the fact that South Korean's are so damn particular? Maybe my mom who never forced me to continue speaking Korean or writing Hangul when I was a kid so that I had to basically re-learn every-fucking-thing?"

The highs and lows of her complaints cause a laugh to slip out as you turn your attention back to your own resume, a digital copy ready for edits on your laptop. "You're gonna sue your Mrs. Choi? Doesn't sound like a great idea. Besides, I like her too much. Her kimchi is to die for. And if you had already known Korean and Hangul, we may have never met!"

Your best friend nods once, accepting this fact as true. "Probably not. That semester in a foreign language really did solidify our nerdiness about South Korea." She jabs a finger in your direction. "But I have a one-up on you 'cause my grandparents were first-gen immigrants from Seoul. So ha!"

Raising your hands in mock defeat, you retort, "You win that one. I'm just an American."

"So sad." The brunette sits up with an excited expression, eyes wide as she crawls over to you on your side of the sofa. "How about my academic advisor, if you can even call the woman an advisor for rehashing my own questions back at me? She convinced me that I could get a job anywhere, with any degree. So what did I go with? Interior design! I can't find a single freakin' job in Seoul for that! Not that doesn't require, like, three years experience, a particular certification that I conveniently did not get, and a signed contract with the Evil Underlord Satan."

"I really don't think that's gonna work, but hey go ahead and try!"

Milo shoves your shoulder playfully, turning to the television to change it to the New Year's Rockin' Eve show that you'd been waiting to start. "You're the one that took ethics classes! I thought you'd be able to tell me if I had a case."

You scoff, "I took business ethics, not legal ethics! But I can agree with you partly. That woman was of no help. At all. Glad I wasn't stuck with her as an advisor since I was in the communications program."

"Yeah, I like to compare her to our house: a conventional ranch with no personality."

You burst into laughter, and Milo hops up from the sofa, an amused expression on her face. She tosses the remote in your direction. "Get the channel right. I can't find it. I wanna watch the ABC exclusive. Pretty sure we get that through YouTube TV."

You catch the remote with ease and turn to the menu. "You think I know how this thing works? I only use Netflix and Crunchy Roll."

"Just shut up and search, will ya?"

You roll your eyes and do as your roommate asks. "Why ABC? Isn't it easier to just stream it online?"

"Becauuuse BTS! They're gonna be performing in, like, ten minutes!"

"What's that again?" you tease.

"Okay, I am not dealing with you right now. Don't make me come over there and hit you with the champagne bottle."

The last two words catch your attention. You turn around, rest your arms on the back of the sofa, and give your best friend the biggest puppy-dog eyes you can manage. "Pour me a glass, Jagiya?"

Milo smirks at the Korean pet name and grabs the golden bottle from the refrigerator. "Get your ass over here so we can pop it and move on. I ain't waiting for midnight. We got shit to do before then, and I can't work on this job-seeking stuff for another damn second without some alcohol in me."

You squeal a tiny, "Yay!" before leaping over the back of the sofa and joining your roommate in the kitchen.

After the champagne is popped and poured, both of you return to your places on the sofa. You take a sip from your glass as Milo calls your favorite local pizza place to place an order.

"Pickup in fifteen, which is perfect! I don't wanna miss BTS," she giggles, pushing her champagne away. "No drinking and driving. I can wait until I get back."

"You're giving up champagne for this band?" you tut, swirling your glass to show off the drink. "You must really love these boys."

Milo narrows her dark eyes at you and tosses her hair over her shoulder. "You'll see."

Another sip and you turn back to your laptop, the noise of the New Year's Rockin' Eve in the background. "Mhm, sure."

You continue to work in relative quiet for the next five minutes until Milo breaks the peace with an elated screech, a sound that is more similar to that of an animal than a twenty-something woman.

"They're on!" She grabs your arm and shakes it vigorously. "Look at them!"

You stop your edits to your portfolio and turn to the television with a sigh. The crowd has started to go mad over the seven men currently trotting up the stairs and on to the stage. The singing has already begun, and you have to admit that their voices harmonized spectacularly together.

But there's one voice, in particular, that is so familiar to you. Despite being mixed in with the group, the lowest register has your eyes leaving your laptop screen and shifting to the television. You can't put your finger on it, but there's something so soft, so real, so warm about it.

The camera zeroes in on the seven men. All are dressed to the nines and look like they're having a blast while performing. So not only can they sing and dance—and, for some, rap—they're all stupid good looking, each in their own unique way.

As the first song comes to a close, and Milo sings the last verse at the top of her lungs, the camera pans to the man in the center. He delivers some of the last lines in a voice as soft and warm as the one you'd heard amongst the mass. Except, this time, he stands out.

But you recognize more than his voice; his appearance is familiar, too. Despite remaining in the background for most of the first song's performance, there's something about the man with the wavy black hair and similarly colored trench coat that calls to you. On an ordinary day, on any other day, you would wave it off as a simple attraction.

But this—this is different. You can't put your finger on how or why, but you know that you've met this person before.

Lightning strikes. You know where you've seen this face before. He's been in your dreams and nightmares, your daymares and daytime imagination. He's been all over your mind, consuming it for the past few months. You've always had this dream, ever since you were a child, but lately, those nightmares have been getting more frequent. This man might be a slightly younger version than the one that plagues your dreams, but it's the same person. You're sure of it. Every time you close your eyes, his face is the one you see.

Right before you both die.

The next song begins, and the dark-haired stranger is back at the front. For the remainder of their eight-minute time slot, your eyes are glued to the screen, unable to comprehend where this person came from. You have distinct memories of your mother consoling a three-year-old you after having these same night terrors. Surely, you could not have seen this person back then. It's unlikely you saw him at all, and certainly not as he is at the turn of the decade.

"Who's that?"

Milo follows your gesture, seeing the raven-haired man taking center stage once again. "That's Kim Taehyung! Pretty, isn't he?" She chuckles at your expression. "You have a bias already, damn that's impressive. I mean, I'm more of a Hoseok girl myself but..."

Your roommate's chatter fades away as your attention is once again drawn to the screen. The performance ends, and the show shifts to a different artist, all part of the New Year's Rockin' Eve circus.

"Welp, that was worth the wait, but  I'm gonna go pick up that pizza," Milo cheers, hopping to her feet. "Don't drink all the champagne before I get back!" 

You shake your head and wave to the brunette as she slips out the door. Turning back to your laptop, you open a new search bar and put in two words: Kim Taehyung.

Millions of results pop up, everything from Wikipedia articles to Koreaboo gossip posts and everything in between. The entire time Milo is gone, you spend online researching BTS' V. By the end of the half-hour, you've learned quite a bit about him—taking particular note that his birthday is just a few days after yours—and have stalked his social media.

A little farther down on the results, you see an ad for Big Hit Entertainment. The ad says that the company is looking for bi-lingual speakers, preferably English and Korean, to hire as a production assistant. Out of curiosity, you click on the link and are taken to Big Hit's site.

Milo returns with fanfare, holding the pizza in front of her like Simba the lion. "It's the cirrrcle of life!" she sings. "They were definitely talking about pizza when they wrote that line."

As she plops the box onto the kitchen counter, you make a sound of vague agreement. Milo asks you how many pieces you want, but you hardly hear her, eyes skimming the job posting over and over.

Is this a possibility? Is this something you're actually considering? Besides the fact that you just saw the add a few minutes ago, your reasons for applying are vague at best. Are you weighing the real options, or are you leaning into this particular job because it might lead you to answers? Or maybe give you an opportunity to meet this Kim Taehyung, maybe even ask him questions?

"Hello? Earth to [Y/n]!" Milo reaches over the back of the sofa to wave a hand in front of your face. Snapping you out of your stupor, your best friend laughs. "Damn, what are you reading? You're really out—wait...is that Big Hit? You found a job posting? What!"

Milo grabs your laptop and pulls it from your grasp. "Mi—"

She brings it over the back of the couch, placing it on the counter beside the pizza. Her brown eyes are wide and curious as she scrolls through the information. "Production assistant for Big Hit, in Seoul, for a bi-lingual speaker with no prior experience? Dude. This is the perfect job! Like, seriously, where did you find this?"

"On Google," you sigh, knowing that you're not going to get the laptop back until Milo relinquishes her control. You settle in on the stool beside her. "I was looking...for postings while you were gone. I stumbled across it."

Milo cocks an eyebrow and shows you your search history, terms which mostly consist of "BTS," "BTS V," and "Kim Taehyung."

"Mhm, suuure, we'll go with job postings."

You take the device from her with a playful scowl. "My point remains. This is exactly what I've been looking for. It says here that the job would be a lot of translation work, both in person and on documents. I'd also assist in the studio while recording or producing. And various other tasks, but I think it'd put my communications major to good use. It's a step in the right direction."

"You sure you just don't wanna see Taehyung-ssi?" she giggles.

A rising feeling of defensiveness comes over you as you close your laptop, moving to the sofa to retrieve your glass of champagne. "I just heard BTS for the first time tonight, Milo. I'm not about to pick my first post-college job and move half-way around the world for a boy I don't even know, let alone a K-pop boy."

"A cute K-pop boy, though." 

You return to her side, raising both eyebrows in an expression that says, "Really?"

Milo shrugs, raising her hands in mock surrender. "Okay, okay, I'll let it go. Just an odd choice for you."

"Well, it's like we were saying earlier." You grab a piece of pizza from the box and shove the end into your mouth. "What'd we got t'lose?"

Milo makes a "close your mouth" gesture with her hand, grimacing at the sight. "Points were made. Fine, but maybe sleep on it? And this is me telling you to not be impulsive," she laughs towards the end. "But what the hell. If you go for it, I might have to find a job in Seoul sooner than I thought."

"I'm sure there are thousands of applicants," you grimace, the reality of the situation settling in. 

Milo grabs a slice for herself and wraps an arm around your shoulders. "And you're worth each and every one of 'em." After pressing a loud kiss to your temple, she slips from the bench and plops back down on the sofa. "C'mon! We got some balls to drop and resumes to edit."

Later that evening, or earlier the next morning, you're left cleaning up as Milo reclines on the sofa in a tipsy slumber. After the New Year rolls in, along with a brand new decade, you're left alone with your thoughts. 

Thoughts and several disposable dishes.

As you tidy up, you contemplate the options in front of you. Sure, you'd sent out several resumes to plenty of companies already. Some of which you'd heard absolutely nothing from, while others have let you know they'll get back to you about a possible interview. So far, nothing has been terribly promising.

So what' the harm in applying for the Big Hit job in Seoul?

The other half of your motivation slips into your sleepy mind. The person you've seen since childhood, could he really be Taehyung? Could you finally be so close to the answers? Why only one dream? Why him? Why so much blood and death?

Does he dream of you, too?

The laptop remains on the kitchen counter, and your fingers itch to open it up and send off your completed resume. This could lead to more than just a new job and a fresh start; this could lead to the answers you've been seeking ever since you were three years old.

A tiny voice inside you says, "Do it."

And, against your better judgment, you listen. 

[boldtendencies]

A reflection on accessibility after Peter Adjaye’s Mentor talk at Barbican Centre by Jessie Gao

Peter Adjaye is a contemporary conceptual sound artist, specialising in cross-disciplinary collaborations. He is a musicologist, composer, DJ-producer, musician with an academic background in mathematics and engineering. He publishes his music through a limited amount of vinyls. This physical and conventional form of music reproduction seems old-school to those of other modern formats such as digital formats uploaded on Spotify and Apple Music.

Tessa, one of our trainees, was particularly concerned about the accessibility of art as she grew up in an area without much exposure to art. When Peter was asked about if he would publish his music in a digital format, he answered with a definite “No”. It seemed that this response triggered some dissatisfaction from other trainees who cared about social causes and especially art education. 

My question is, should artists be respected for their preferred medium or be critiqued on the art medium? The pandemic and recent social issues has raised awareness of 1) accessibility, 2) opportunity of artists who are POC (people of colour), and 3) sustainability. In this blog post I will address the first issue that was raised multiple times from this year’s trainees. 

As the situation of the pandemic still changes day by day, is our concern safety or accessibility? If we simply define accessibility as something like - so more people can see the art - how would we be able to achieve it. Would it be the form of decreasing ticket prices, introducing free admissions, or producing a virtual reality gallery? 

Some mediums are meant to be for real life observation. These mediums may include anything that is three-dimensional, which requires the audience to interact with it. Most common ones are sculptures and architectures. Of course you will be able to take a photograph or scan it into a virtual reality model, but it will always lack a certain depth. Humans are sensory creatures: we see, feel, and hear;  the immersiveness of a physical experience is completely different from a two-dimensional presentation. Sometimes art cannot be made accessible and is not meant to be accessible. If we were critiquing Peter’s work for not being accessible enough, have we considered how his music worked?

During our visit at the Barbican Centre, we were able to listen to his work in the Curve Gallery that was exhibiting Toyin Ojih Odutola’s work. Peter had to compose the music according to the structure of the Curve Gallery as it did impact audio in real life. However, would it be appropriate to ask an artist to change its medium so it is more accessible when accessibility was not its priorities? Or must every artist be pressurised in doing so because he brings a greater social impact?

I’d like to bring in my background in Economics, which I think might bring in another point of view. The purpose of art nowadays is mostly related to some form of impact, but the real question is does accessibility bring more impact? I would like to bring in the concept of the Law Of Diminishing Marginal Utility. It states that all else equal as consumption (in this case, accessibility of art) increases the marginal utility derived from each additional unit declines. Marginal utility is derived as the change in utility as an additional unit is consumed. Utility is an economic term used to represent satisfaction or happiness. Marginal utility is the incremental increase in utility that results from consumption of one additional unit. For example, based on this law it means that if all forms of art were more accessible, the audience will be less satisfied per observation/exhibition as they become too available. I do believe this law works in real life to a certain degree if we consider the audience’s price elasticity (how sensitive they are to admission prices). This law is particularly relevant because one way of measuring impact is through audience satisfaction.

There were several free concerts and virtual events done during lockdown. However, how many people willingly attended? Will the same group of audience still attend these online events if there wasn’t a lockdown or a pandemic? Will the audience feel more satisfied to attend during a pandemic because they were made safe (another form of accessibility)? There are so many other elements involved when we want to measure if accessibility actually increases the amount of audience and impact. 

The artists have chosen a medium that they think is suitable for the piece. Some art is created for the public and some are not. Must we force all artists to consider accessibility before creating art, or would that be restricting creativity? Will making art accessible actually bring more impact to the society? Will people appreciate art more if it were made free and public, or will it be the opposite? If the former were true why do we still purchase limited edition items, celebrity concert tickets, and luxury brands when there are similar substitute products at a lower cost? Does it mean if something is less accessible/available, it will bring more satisfaction when it is purchased? So does this mean if an exhibition was in a major city with an acceptable admission fee, will the experience be more memorable than if it was next door to your flat with a free entry? Do you have a stronger impression of something when it was less accessible? Chances are you have never tried your local restaurant just around the corner, because it is simply too accessible. 

For me I believe not all art needs to be accessible, but it is always better if it can.

[dreadnought-dear-captain]

You Asked, I Told

(Note, if this post shows up twice or massively delayed or just looks weird, it’s because it was flagged for adult content [??!] because I had a picture of Willem Dafoe’s face in a gif. I am not even kidding. Do with that information what you will. I’ve removed it and I still don’t know if/when this can be publicly viewed, I’m kind of lolling. So if you see a blocked out photo that looks like porn in your post, I swear it’s just a gif from The Lighthouse!)

Hello, amazing people. This weekend, I’m putting the final touches on my last draft of Baghdad Waltz Chapter 39, which will then go to the beta for one more round of edits. I imagine I will have the chapter posted in 1-3 weeks, which is close to record speed for me, especially since it’s around 30k words. I’m going to be talking about my writing process (at unfortunate length) for one of the asks, for those who are interested. 

Please forgive me. I’m feeling quite verbose and a little squirrely. I blame living alone during lockdown. 

It’s also Memorial Day weekend in the States, which is when we are meant to honor those who gave their lives in military service to this country. This is often confused with Veterans Day (November 11), which is honoring anyone who has served in the military and is no longer serving. This gets further confused with Armed Forces Day (rotating date, May) which is to honor those currently serving in the military. I know, super confusing. 

There’s a wide range of opinions on how Memorial Day should be commemorated, which often involves gathering with friends and family for a barbecue or some other social activity. It’s the first major holiday after a huge holiday drought throughout the late winter and spring, which often makes people look forward to it immensely. Some people feel it’s inappropriate to celebrate Memorial Day with barbecues and fond social gatherings because it’s dishonoring the memories of those who can’t be here, people don’t take time to remember those who have died, people have no idea what the day is actually for, etc. Others, even some very vocal veterans, maintain that people died so that we could be here to celebrate in freedom, so why not relish this life we have? Many offer the caveat that it’s appropriate to at least acknowledge the purpose of the day, even if it’s just in a few minutes of quiet reflection. 

Anyway, I offer this as a little food for thought for this upcoming long weekend. 

(And in case you missed it, I posted a BW Timeline for your reference.) 

Contains spoilers through Chapter 38.

[Takes deep breath]

I’m so glad that you are enjoying the read and that you’re finding it inspiring for your own work. I think my dedication to research for BW is threefold. 1) As this story evolved, I decided that I wanted to create the most realistic depictions of military, civilian, emotional, and physical life that I reasonably could. I will fully admit to lapses in this, deliberate and unintentional, because sometimes the plot just needs to go and I can’t wait around for a year-long medical discharge process for my character. 2) I’m in an academically stringent occupation, and because research is such a prominent part of my work life, it’s bled to my hobby. (IS THIS EVEN A HOBBY ANYMORE?) And 3) I get very easily and passionately obsessed with things and delight in getting “into the weeds” with a subject. Almost every research divergence usually takes me off track for at least an hour. And you will never catch me without an MTA subway map open in at least one tab.

But that wasn’t even your question! Sorry. Are you beginning to get a sense of why BW takes me so long to write?? I cannot keep my shit on track. As for the bibliography, YES! I plan to include that in my author’s note at the end. I wish I had kept better track of all of my works consulted over the past three years, but I will definitely discuss the importance of some of the main ones. I’m so thrilled that you are interested, and I’m excited to share them!

Thank you. This is such a kind thing to say, and I’m humbled and delighted to hear it, especially because our fandom is so blessed with some AMAZING fics. And asks certainly don’t have to be questions! I appreciate them all (except the flaming bag of dog shit ones, which I haven’t had in a while, hooray).

(Re: Chapter 37) Good question! I imagine Claire would want to keep the 1:1 conversation somewhat limited, as she is treating the couple as a patient rather than them as individuals. If anything, she might have somewhat superficially checked in to see if he was okay rather than dive into anything regarding the relationship with Bucky not around. That could be seen as a betrayal of trust to Bucky and could be interpreted as favoritism, which Steve craves and which Bucky is probably terrified about.

I am always pleased when people re-read and enjoy it or get new things out of it, even if it’s sometimes a re-read is a function of my slow-ass writing. I really want a story with good re-read value.

You make an excellent point about Bucky’s relationships. His friendship with Jack also had no real closure. Sometimes this is a factor of circumstance and sometimes it’s because of his avoidance, like a self-fulfilling prophesy almost. He’s learned that people betray you, either by hurting you or dying, so he creates conditions sometimes (often unwittingly) for things to go sour and end poorly, or he will simply make himself disappear so that he’s not hurt and doesn’t have to wait to see if he will be abandoned or betrayed. He’s not a guy who is good with goodbyes.

As for Thor, I totally see how it would read that way. I think Thor started out fishing for longer-term possibilities in a romantic relationship but then realized Bucky is really not a guy who is comfortable settling (which, as we can see, is true). As for why it seems more serious, one thing is that Thor still wanted Bucky in his life as a friend, possibly one with benefits. They have a lot in common, and it’s hard for veterans - and, more specifically, special operators - to find people in their lives they can relate to with these very intense life experiences. I wanted this to be a real relationship, but maybe not necessarily one that was bound to become a RELATIONSHIP. I think Bucky was very intriguing and attractive to him, and he very well may have struggled with his own vacillation between whether to take it seriously or whether to remain friends+. This can lead to mixed messages.

And we also have to remember Bucky’s notoriously unreliable narration, where he will see what he wants to see. Our perspective comes from him. We see the details he zooms in on, miss the one he ignores, view the relationship through the lens of his own contentious desire for a real relationship, even as he consistently demonstrates the lack of capacity and his fear about getting serious. I imagine Bucky has having an extremely poor ability to distinguish friendship from romance, and why wouldn’t he, given the most recent bit of history we have learned about him with Jack? He’s had a series of friendships become sexualized, and I think this affects his capacity to be discerning. Bucky’s radar for relating, whether friendships, romance, or potentially dangerous sexual situations, is terribly mis-calibrated. How confusing for him and for the people in his life. Of course, everyone is free to interpret the dynamics of any relationship however they choose. These are just some of my thoughts.

I really appreciate observations from the re-read! Thank you!

I watched the video and you are right! This is definitely a Bucky song. Bucky’s sense of self is by turns profoundly distorted and lacking in grounding, especially now that he’s not in the military. He’s been in a low key existential crisis since he was a kid and has turned to drinking and sex and war to fill this horrible void, and although I can’t speak for what the artists here intended, I certainly sensed those elements here for sure. (Also, what an interesting choice for a music video…)

Thank you for sharing! I’ll add it to the unofficial BW playlist in the author’s note, which consists of various songs people have associated with BW and shared with me.

Good question! I started off this story picturing the actors who represent the characters in the MCU, because I figured we’d be picturing that when we read the fic anyway (though my beta told me she doesn’t see them as the actors, more like artists��� renderings of the characters, which I find interesting). So when describing their physicality, I tend to refer back to the MCU, since this is technically an MCU AU. But the longer I go with the story, the murkier the resemblance feels to me, especially when I think about Bucky, IDK why. I have also been considering doing something more with BW after I finish it (i.e., converting it into a proper not-bajillion-word novel, sunk cost and whatnot), in which case I would definitely change the characters’ appearance, names, cut MCU Easter eggs, etc. So when I try to think of who these people might be in future iterations of the story, things get even more blurred in my mind when I imagine them.

I wonder how other people see them??

So, with regards to PTSD clinical teams, there is some variation across VAs in the system. Some focus more on military-related trauma, whether it’s war, military sexual trauma, accidents, etc. as a way of concentrating their services and managing supply and demand. From talking with providers in these kinds of systems, sometimes you just NEED a military-related trauma, but you can be treated for, say, a childhood trauma if it’s more pressing. Other VAs are very open in their criteria, and you can see them for pretty much any kind of trauma that qualifies diagnostically for PTSD (or sub-threshold PTSD) without question. That’s why I love the expression “If you’ve been to one VA, you’ve been to one VA.” That said, it kind of doesn’t matter what kind of PTSD clinical team is at the VA in Manhattan, because Bucky has so much military trauma that he would very likely qualify to receive services in any PTSD clinical team. They just might focus on childhood stuff (if Bucky actually let them, which is another matter entirely).

This is a great question! Thanks for asking.

I love a snarky asshole Bucky so much, and I’ve tried to temper this version of him with enough hard-earned genuineness to offset it a little bit. It’s such a tender balance with him, because if you back him too far into a corner, he’s going to let you have it. But if you give him too much space, it’s hard to pin him down and wring something honest from him. He’s definitely learned to use humor and sarcasm to deflect from painful or uncomfortable situations, and it’s a very adaptive short-term strategy that makes him both endearing and infuriating to others.

But ugh, yeah, shit gets so rough around Chapter 28/29. I don’t know how to feel when people have really strong emotional reactions to this story, because one part of me doesn’t want to contribute to the crappy feelings people may already be struggling with — especially in the times of COVID — but I don’t want to be afraid to dive into the hurt these characters are experiencing. That’s why I recommend checking in with oneself before reading to get a sense of how much emotional bandwidth is available to manage the immense problems of two people struggling so much. I also think that for some people it can be cathartic or otherwise not-bad maybe (?), based on the feedback I’ve received. I also really try hard to balance out the painful stuff with growth, even though it can be terribly difficult to locate sometimes.

In comments to folks, and here, I often talk about adjusting the ticks on your measuring stick for progress, where instead of leaps of progress over feet/meters, we may be observing things on an inch/mm scale. This story is my most sincere effort at a “recovery is not linear” narrative, which I think is so much more reflective of real life for a lot of folks than a straight upward trajectory. Humans are such creatures of habit, and the lessons these characters have learned through their lives about themselves, trust, relationships, and how to manage emotions are very deeply ingrained — often through traumatic means. These are the lessons learned the hardest, with the greatest perceived consequences for change, and it takes real courage for us to be able to try new things even once, let alone to establish a reliable pattern of behavior. This can lead to a lot of frustration for us as readers/writer, and I come from a place of this being okay, because we are encountering a parallel process with the characters, who are frustrated with each other and themselves about the same things. I do hope the pain/progress/joy ratios are not horribly out of whack most of the time. That’s another reason I like long chapters, because if this was just blips of sometimes terrible episodes in shorter form, I think it would be very challenging to not lose hope entirely.

But I’m so glad you’re finding the read meaningful, even if it’s sometimes painful and difficult.

(YES.)

And FINALLY -- (this is all soooo long, I’m so sorry.)

Oh, thank you for this question! My spreadsheet ended up getting too difficult to manage, and I actually had a small crisis six months ago about how the fic was going to end, because it just didn’t feel right. I had to scrap it and go back to the drawing board and really ask myself - what would these characters really do? Naturally, as a factor of their psychologies and circumstances, how will they bring this story to an end? Some advice I once heard about a “satisfying” ending is that it’s the place where there’s simply nothing more to say about the characters. There’s no more story to tell. I had to abandon all of my desires  and ideas for a particular ending or concerns about making people sad or happy or excited or disappointed. I know that the only ending that will be satisfying is one that makes sense for these people. Anything contrived or backward-engineer-y wouldn’t feel right to anyone. I do have a couple of specific character arc things I want to happen, so I set those down as touchstones and said, okay, what would happen next? What would Steve do with this? And what would Bucky do with this? And what would they do with the thing the other person did? I take a very psychology and prior-behavior-based approach to plotting, almost all character driven. The rest is just figuring out what is supposed to go where and how to organize it.

I’ve converted everything to a Google Doc and have a very basic outline where I write plotty-plot stuff. I also have a “garbage dump” doc where I write certain lines I want to use or certain details I want to include somewhere. When I get into a new chapter, I’ll check the dump doc as I outline and write to see if I want to pluck anything from there. I have my outline open regularly to add to it. Sometimes I write scenes out of order, dialogue first, but that’s only if I really am excited about a particular scene and cannot contain myself. Otherwise, I write completely chronologically and have no buffer. I post things as soon as I write them.

As for your specific questions, I do have a “process” for getting into my characters’ heads. It helps to know them so very well and to have a firm sense of their idiosyncrasies and patterns of behavior. As you may have noticed, they repeat their patterns all. the. time, as humans do, but I also want to have them change their behaviors a little as things go and they progress. So I may wonder what they could do a little differently, why they would WANT to behave differently, and imagine what they would need to do to change their behavior. Do they need to take breaths? Do they remember the last time some shit went down? I really try to think of the “how” and “why” of every single action - from big blowouts to eye rolls.

So once I’ve figured out what they are going to do, I try to pinpoint the associated emotions I want to highlight. This is a whole separate process, because I have to think also about their internal versus their external emotional states. Steve, for example, will often have a discrepant inside and outside, because one of the truths about his character is that he is a chronic suppressor. There is also the issue of unreliable narration and interpretation of behavior. Steve might do something in a scene, but that doesn’t mean Bucky is going to interpret it the way it was intended. I have to think about their individual filters, which often reflect their internal beliefs about themselves. Bucky is more likely to read Steve’s actions as reflections of how BUCKY feels about HIMSELF (e.g., he’s disgusted by me because I’m disgusting) rather than imagine what Steve is really thinking based on his own experiences and beliefs about Bucky. I also attempt to convey some of the more second and third layer emotions that people have in situations, rather than only highlighting the primary emotion. Sad things don’t always just make people sad. Powerful emotions, for example, might make Steve feel out of control of himself, which could generate secondary emotions for him like frustration because he’s losing control. Part of the process in the construction of the narrative is also scrubbing what I’ve written for POV, because Bucky’s word choices aren’t the same as Steve’s, and in order to try to preserve the “voice” of each character, I often have to change the words I’ve opted to use, as well as the syntax.

So, as you can see, there’s a lot of layering that is happening all the time. As for the dialogue, I have no compunction about saying the lines aloud, “acting” them to see how they sound, to get a sense of what tone I want them to say things in. Now that I think of it, I do a bit of movement-based stuff, thinking about how people sit and stand, figuring how many steps it takes to get from A-Z, what it would look like to lean against something, how it would feel on the body, etc. I try to get the most felt sense of things as I can. If I’m imagining a scene, I try to put myself in the shoes of the characters to the point where I feel the emotions, just so I can know how it reflects in my body and my mind and behavior. I have more than once gotten drunk and drunk-written drunk Bucky then gone to clean it up later, as drunk writing can generate some great content I never would have been able to come up with sober, but the form, grammar, spelling, etc. is often rubbish. I also talk a LOT to my beta about all of this stuff, and I have certain friends and acquaintances in the fandom who are my consultants for various things.

So, I’m somewhat method I guess?? Is that a thing?? I dunno. It’s not hard to do when you live and breathe a story. It’s required a deep level of interest in - quite possibly an obsession with - the characters and their lives. I adore my characters, not in a self-congratulatory way, but because they feel so real to me. So it’s a joy to plan and write -- though I do hate first drafts with a passion.

OH - I also sometimes fast-draft chapters, which I did for 39. That is, write as FAST AS YOU CAN with no regard for how shitty the writing is. I wrote 10k words in a week, which was a finished fast-draft for me, and thus I had a very good felt sense of what was going to happen in the chapter, which felt amazing. It requires intensive outlining before, and nearly every word had to be rewritten, but one of the greatest frustrations of a story for me is having blank space ahead. Re-writing is way more fun than first draft writing. I have fluffed it up twofold with higher quality content, which I did all in less than two months…!! 

-------------------------

Well, this is surely my most unnecessarily yammering YAIT in history. But I hope it at least conveys my enthusiasm for these wonderful asks! It’s so lovely to hear from all of you, even if I take an eon to get back to you. Hang in there, everyone!

@grimshady @hutchhitched​ @b0n3l3ssm1lk​ 

(And thank you to @bae-buckyaboveeverything​ for the shout out. You made my day<3)

[system-of-a-feather]

So, for your inner world questions, if this is something you feel comfortable talking about- please do not feel pressured into answering this if you are not comfortable, how does Ray maintain it? I have seen a couple people talking about maintaining their inner world and I got a little curious. Does that mean just being in charge? Or keeping it accessible? Sorry if this is a silly question! Also, what is your favorite part of it?

I was a bit excited to hear this question. To be honest, I am usually not the most chatty of an individual, but I had been feeling a lot not like myself for a few days and yesterday was the first day in a while I felt like me and honestly being a gatekeeper and my work is something I take a lot of pride and identity with. It is one of the things that makes me comfortable and proud to be myself, plus it is a bit fun in it’s own way so talking about it sounded like something that would be enjoyable particularly with how limited experience-focused topics there are on it.

[[Anyhow, important disclaimer; this is entirely personal experience based and hardly based on any reading or anything beyond general themes and concepts of how trauma is handled in children and how escapism and similar shit works. I very strongly - as part of my job in fact - do not rely much on understanding our system’s condition and our life through written papers, research, and/or what “is and isn’t” possible or “how things should work.” I do take them into consideration with interpretting our life and our system and how to heal and they play a large role, but when it comes to understanding our experiences and symptoms, I often find comparing and restricting ourselves to “written work” is not going to do any good other than perpetuate a sense of denial and “I am faking it.”

My place in the system and how I manage everything as a gatekeeper hinges and has an important place on seeing our experiences as they are and coming to understand what they mean. As a result, when I talk about anything regarding our system, how the inner world works, and how trauma works - it is all my perspective and opinion from the genuine experiences we have had. If they are “wrong” or not how things work or don’t apply to all if most systems, then so be it, this is just a sharing of our personal experiences.]]

So anyways, for some context. Our system has three “gatekeepers” that have varying dynamics of maintence. Lucille is what we call the secondary gatekeeper and doesn’t do much beyond just staying generally consciencous and organized with semantic and important informational memory - it comes with being an academic protector. Another alter in our system is apparently a gatekeeper - though I won’t go into it for them. Then there is me and I am the Primary Gatekeeper and have generally been “shadowing” our old Gatekeeper Mina since I split off back when we were young. About a year or so I picked up the role as Primary Gatekeeper since I came back and found our system “didn’t even know what a gatekeeper was supposed to be like” and “didn’t have one” since Mina had integrated and Lucille hadn’t / still hasn’t gotten to the place with that integration to have the experience and skill set to handle playing the previously missing role.

From what I understand maintaining the inner world is broken down into a few key things. 1) What is going on in the inner world / with the parts 2) Where did this aspect of the inner world / part come from in relation to our life, trauma, etc 3) Why is it depicted and being projected in this manner and what might that imply 4) How can that information be used to increase system stability, increase emotional management, increase potential for healing, and decrease stress / risk / instability. 

In even shorter terms, it is understanding where the trauma is interpreted and projected into the inner world, how and why it is projected that way, and finding out what action should be taken from that. 

In even even shorter terms, it is about being aware.

When I talk about maintaining the inner world, I often mean I am either 1) exploring and trying to understand the innate nature of the inner world and how it connects with our trauma / history / memory 2) checking in on parts and seeing how they are doing and getting a proper reading for what their affect / stability is and connecting that to the status of our life and our history and just trying to understand how their current state is being affected by the past and how the past is currently affecting them now 3) Going through “files” and trying to catch up on information to try to connect dots 4) Checking in on inaccessible parts of the inner world that others can’t to make sure things are still as they are.

More often than not, I work within 1 or 2 as our inner world is very large and has a lot of interpretational room and 2 because our system is a mess that can’t take care of themselves and notice how trauma is affecting them half the time until after the affect. Often I have to keep an eye out for all the parts to try to keep information that doesn’t need to be there away and/or to tell parts when I know they are being overwhelmed by trauma / emotions / mental health issues to “kindly sit the fuck down and take a break”.

I’ve made a post about it before, but part of my role as gatekeeper and maintaining the inner world is to tell parts to go on mandatory breaks becuase I can see that they are not coping properly / well and are deteriorating due to whatever is going on in their life. The point of these breaks is to remove all sense of responsibility and duty until the part can relax and sort themselves out and jump back into the system / game refreshed and with a fresh mind. 

Additionally, part of maintaining the inner world is knowing what and why everything is where it is and working to expand that. By nature it is also about controlling how much of that information is explained to other parts and what isn’t as well as being an advisor. 

Compared to other parts, with how much time I spend focused on understanding our full story and how everything plays in with one another, I have the largest view of the “whole picture” and when it comes to decision making, it is important to be as objective of a voice as possible within discussions and trying to come give an explanation to how a situation should be handled from the largest expansive knowledge without giving out information that doesn’t need to be known.

It is a bit of a long ramble I guess with a lot of parts since there is a lot that goes into “maintaining the inner world” in my experience but it is a warped term for “promoting stability through the inner world.”

Also - by nature, compared to other parts, I walk this line between fully understanding that this is an elaborate coping mechanism used to personify a lot of complex and confusing aspects of a single person who has been through too much and that by nature, I have to keep that in mind - but also as an alter with a very firm sense of self, individuality, and relationships with the other parts that find the inner world very realistic; have to keep in mind that while it is an elaborate coping mechanism the experiences are very real and valid and should be respected to a good degree as they are felt.

I personally don’t feel pushing the system to digest the idea that we are all REALLY one person (we do like to say we are parts of a whole, but don’t like to think about the fact that we really are one person with an extreme coping mechanism) is anything important that our system currently needs to deal with or something that I even want to bother thinking about. 

I function from a place as being an individual part of a system / whole, and while I do recognize and am very aware that we are one singular person with a really complex coping mechanism, I don’t really bother to sit in that too much.

Anyhow, I hope that was an interesting read. I probably forgot to mention somethings that I was planning to say, but ah well.

---

Edit: I just noticed there were other questions. Whoops.

Does that mean just being in charge? Or keeping it accessible?

In a way if you read above. As for the accessibility, I really can’t control that in our inner world actually. Accessibility rights in certain parts of the inner world is something that seems unchangable and out of my control though I am still investigating to see if I can figure that out.

Also, what is your favorite part of it?

My favorite place would call me out in a way that I am not willing to share. With that being said, I would say my second favorite would either be the Abyss - which I like as it is a very mysterious part of the inner world I am still trying to figure it out and it is a terrifying place but I also like it for being as terrifying as it is - or the Cathedral of Rememberance as I’ve named it.

The Cathedral (for short0 is actually a place that I think is new that I might have accidentally created while being mopey a few days ago, but I’ve really taken to it. 

-Ray (Gatekeeper)

[6354646551]

Self-made Indian Entrepreneur in making                      Youth Self-reliant..



Ifortis Corporate has grown into one of indian's leading corporation. As time evolved , dependence on the technology began to hinder ifortis ability to guarantee competitive pricing and provide innovation services. As a result, a strategic decision was made to set up it's own headquarters in india in order to better satisfy the needs of ifortis Corporate.

Ifortis chose sivakasi in Tamil Nadu ,india,as the location to begin it's facility.

As a result, ifortis is now one of india's leading corporation.with an aim to become one of the most leading companies in the world , ifortis corporate continues to train its employees and operate monitering systems,while practicing fair and  transparent corporation management.

CEO of IFORTIS CORPORATION Respected ROHIT NAIDU SIR, Mission to make youth community to Self-reliant.rohit naidu is passionate about helping the youth to find their way forward by cultivating confidence and committed to upskilling the professionalism of the youth.

My human resource manager (HR) miss. prachi mittal who is having very supporting nature and motivating us.

I am glad to having prachi mam as  my (HR).

 

Ifortis corporate believe that ethical management is not only a tool for responding to the rapid changes in the global business environment. But also a vehicle for building trust with it's various stakeholders including customer, employees, business partner and local communition. The aim of Ifortis corporation is to become a one of the most leading company in the world.

THEY ARE FOLLOWING SOME PRINCIPALS WHICH MAKE THEM WORLD'S LEADING COMPANY.

(1) Ifortis respect the dignity and diversity        of individuals.

(2) Ifortis complete fairly in accordance to        law and business ethics

(3) Ifortis make customers satisfaction on        their top priority.

(4) Ifortis make efforts for the                            improvement of the "quality of life" of          their employees.

(5) Ifortis pursue eco-friendly                              management. They build relationship          of co -existence and co-prosperity with         business partners.

Their vision 'To be a global firm of uniquely skilled executive who can build a better future' clearly expresses their surge for being the best in the business. 

 

Ifortis has wide spread division in the field of

 

* LIVE

* Digital

* IT SERVICES

* Consultency

#MISSION'S OF IFORTIS CORPORATE'S

  

 They mission is to focuses to help college-age youth and women to learn how to start and grow business, as well as successfully Content in global market, by providing quality, training, counseling and access to resource;" says rohit naidu , CEO of ifortis and project director of enterprineurship 360.  "  This program will be india's first evidence- based practice in women enterprineurs and they have secured women business owners for around the world, to share their own insightfull and practical journeys of business owners,"He shared.

   

#AARAMBH 2.0



AARAMBH 2.0 - The 2nd edition of the AARAMBH “India’s First & Largest Virtual Youth Festival” by IFORTIS CORPORATE will be held in 27th & 28th March 2021. Bringing together the dazzling Youths, from all over the world and providing the spotlight to make it beam even brighter!

(1)#ROCKET LEAGUE.



   

The tournament start as a seduled unless Said otherwise.some round get delayed,for all the information please check our discord, where all information is current.

(2)#DANCE COMPETITION.



The world's first and largest virtual youth festival "AARAMBH 2.0", bring to You greater dance competition Like never before.

(3)#FASHION SHOW.



High and energy and deep in spirit the rural and urban, it's time for you to take the center stage and amaze the world!

(4)#PHOTOGRAPHY CONTEST.



Click! Snap! Click!

World's first and largest youth festival-- AARAMBH 2.0 brings to you the photography contest.Take this opportunity to Show how you see the world and how all things matter in a different ways. Let's see what you have in store for us.

(5)#VALORANT CUP.



 

Tournament Round will start as scheduled unless said otherwise. Some rounds might get delayed, for all the information please check our discord, where all information is current.

(6)#SLAM POETRY.



Meaning, sound and rhythm!!

World's First and Largest Virtual Youth Festival — AARAMBH 2.0 Let’s you introduce the element of competition in slam poetry contest. 

–> SOME PROGRAM'S OF IFORTIS ARE            GIVEN BELOW:

#GO GREEN.



 

We at IFortis Corporate, committed to reducing our environmental footprint and that of our events. We have signed an international commitment to reduce our footprint company-wide (IAPCO Plastics Pledge), as well as the footprint of our clients’ events, through sustainable design and carbon offsetting. We work with partners and suppliers who have active sustainability policies and we also actively encourage discussions and awareness around environmental practice throughout our industry.

#CULTIVATE THE SKILLS.



IFortis Corporate’s Step Up is an executive Skill Development program, During the program the young people will be made to investigate complex challenges such as social problems, plastic pollution, genome editing, and global pandemics. The program is structured around real-world problems, its core is centred on academic disciplines and a range of research methods by IFortis Corporate’s Research & Development Team. The youth will gain a strong understanding over the rapidly changing future of work.

# SOCIAL ACCOUNTABILITY.

At IFortis Corporate, we are committed to employing people from all cultures and backgrounds and we aspire to diversify our company across all indicators including gender, age, sexuality, ability and religion. This is evidenced through our many spoken languages, with our staff collectively speaking more than 30 languages. We acknowledge the Indigenous Indians as traditional custodians of our land and seek to be an employer of choice for those identifying as First Nations people. This is achieved through our values of an inclusive work environment, where we work to break down barriers and embrace diversity of people, ideas, talents and experiences.

#MORE POWER TO WOMEN.

The exclusive program, #More Power to Women by IFortis Corporate is aimed at highlighting women empowerment. It showcases how IFortis Corporate cares for dreams of women across India. With an ambitious mission to educate and empower more than 20,000 women in India to pursue their entrepreneurial dreams before the year’s end, IFortis Corporate has enlisted business owners from around the globe to share their personal journey of failure and success at this program.

#NOT A SCHOOL.

IFortis Corporate’s Not a School is an alternative educational programme co-created with and for school students aged 10-18 across the globe. The free programme aims to inspire our next generation of innovators and equip them with future-proof skills through exploring social issues they care about most with some of world’s most inspirational experts.

#YOUTH SHOULD LEAD.

The Youth Should Lead by IFortis Corporate is Youth Leadership programme launched in 2020, explores how no one individual has the complete set of leadership skills. It enables youth to identify and reflect on their natural leadership style, personality and behaviours. Then, with the support of world class corporate trainers, youth will agree on areas for development where your leadership shows potential or is fragile. The youth will discover that to be a complete leader they need to be aware of their own limitations and draw on the diversity of their team.

#WE ARE FIT.

At IFortis Corporate, our staff are our heart and soul and their satisfaction and wellbeing is critical to the success of our Company. As such, we have policies in place to support staff on a personal level – including flexible working arrangements and mental health support – and we are continually looking to improve in these areas. People development is one of our highest priorities and we invest heavily into this each year – for example, deploying more than 1,000 hours of external training in 2020 – and strongly believe in promoting from within as well as staff retention.

THANK YOU.

[a-for-alternative]

Wammy’s Lore

The house appears in several forms both in the manga, anime, movies, novels, and games. Obviously, these aren’t intended to function together. However, they do have characters and events in common that form Wammy’s Lore.

The Beginning: L comes to Wammy’s at a time when the world is on the brink of WWIII (DNAN, 164-jp; 170-en), when he is around 8.

Note: the English edition will say this event is after the war but the original says L prevented the war.

L was already present in Wammy’s House before L became a famous detective -  in “File. 15″ - Chapter 0, Wammy’s House/Day One:

During this time, L solves a case that involves a bomb making facility within Winchester. (DNAN)

I s  W a m m y ’s  U n i q u e?

Probably the greatest source of Wammy’s Lore is the novel, L: Change the World [013]; 

“The Wammy's Foundation established many orphanages around the world through funding of the renowned inventor, Quillish Wammy.

  Only one serving a purpose above all others, gathering particularly intelligent children regardless of nationality, race, or gender... The Wammy's House. 

  Not serving as a formal academic institution, Wammy's House invites professors, researchers, and specialists from around the world to give the children instruction befitting their abilities and potential. 

  The ultimate purpose of these children is to serve as safeguards for the world.”

This tells us:

Many orphanages but only 1 Wammy’s

The children are safegaurds 

They are selected for their intelligence

The purpose is to hone their particular abilities

Later, it establishes:

Only 26 letters max per generation [176]

Teachers are selected by L or Watari 

The only mentioned former professor is Dr. Nikaido (Immunologist)

Q is the creator of the “delete all data” button that Watari presses in main story.

N o   N a m e s  /  ‘L e t t e r s’ ?

How to you go from an orphanage for smart kids to one where they have no identities?

Keep in mind that they didn’t know B’s name, “… Wammy’s House only knew him as B - they did not know his real name…” [117] 

In the manga, Aizawa and Matsuda describe that among the children, few were selected to be L’s successors and no one knew their true names. 

We know that A and B are the first children of this successorship experiment. (DNAN) If a few are selected from the group but no one knows their true names, this probably means they were brought in under the alisas from the beginning (otherwise people would easily recall their identities).

This may be why the kids have 2 - their letter and a name (e.g. N, Near). This probably means B was known as Backup before becoming B. 

L i f e   b e f o r e   L e t t e r s:

 One child we know of before becoming a letter is K.

  K was working with terrorist cases when she was 16 years old. At this time, she had not earned her letter. She remotely headed a rescue mission that ended in tragedy, a bomb strapped to the rescue victim detonated once in the rescuer’s camp...

K was so mortified by her failure, she ran away. 

   She becomes a part of a criminal organization and is later confronted by L in person.  K must have been using an alias while in the house because he does not recognize her name (which she has begun using while outside Wammy’s). It is only in her lack of faith in people that he identifies her as the rogue successor ‘K’. 

Earning a letter means you are changing the world and that is how you earn your letter, through Wammy. It is also a mark of Graduation. [LCtW:176]

K is arrested but still holds the letter as long as she is alive, a promise made to her by L -- This may mean you retain that letter for life

J is the only letter to have been held by 2; However, “L: Change the World” is credited to M which may mean that someone succeeded Mello.

P h o t o s   o f   L e t t e r s:

--- K’s case is before the Kira case, which is probably why K has in her possession, 1 photo of her parents and herself.

  This would matter because it brings into question if the children were allowed to keep photos of themselves prior to the emergence of Kira. If they were allowed photographs, this might explain why there is picture of Mello and on Roger’s desk there are pictures of Wammy, what looks to be an event involving robed individuals. Mello is of the 4th generation, so any authorized process of photographing the children would have been established.

  -- Is Mello’s photo a school picture? 

   Mello appears to be looking straight in the camera, wearing his signature outfit and isn’t that much younger than we see him in the house. Is it safe to assume this was taken at Wammy’s, even if the addition of Dear Mello at the back is added later. 

  The light source is emanating from above him, which makes this being professional photo unlikely. Most photographers will have the light source in front to prevent the sinister shadows that will appear under the eyes.  It does appear to be outdoors and it is possible that someone took this picture without the house authorizing it. It is worth noting that there are no other photos of successors similar to this that ever come up. If it is not a school photo but one someone took when they weren’t allowed to, this may explain why Near and Matt do not have this problem. The Dear Mello written on the back is strange.. whoever took this must have been fond of him.  Was this a photo taken by a friend and was it a prohibited? It’s unknowable.

  But, this does bring up the question.. Why didn’t they know B’s face?  

 This might be excused by B applying makeup

With or without a photo of him, -- Roger and other residents would have surely seen him in person. 

It doesn’t give an exact year that B disappears in May but we can assume not that many have passed, not enough for B to have aged that much.

   If we assume that Wammy’s doesn’t take school photos, this would explain why Roger only has 1 group photo, while there have been 3 previous gens. 

The group photo may be of his old classmates. But, if that is the case... Would those two photos be in black and white? 

The photos do not appear in the anime, only the center one of Watari, which is in color

The photos do appear in the colored manga

The pair on the left seem to have grey hair

The group on the right is colored

It is possible that in the DN universe, they had color photos before our own but these could also be of a reunion event.

 ...  It is interesting that a person of Roger’s age has no photos of his past, if we assume they would be in black and white.   It is also possible that after the deaths/arrests of A, B, F, K, J, A, X, Y, Z, R, T, & V ... Roger thought it was inappropriate to have their photos up. Since, Mello seems ignorant of B up until L tells him the story of his case, they probably do not have photos of previous gens.

 Additionally, Mello doesn’t even have a notion of A’s gender, he probably has never seen A. (the original does not designate a gender for A)

A f t e r   G r a d u a t i o n :

F is the true wild card. F as a character appears in at least 2 places, (1) the film (LCtW) and (2) the game “L: Prologue to Death Note”. Which in both, he specializes in the infiltration of dangerous places.

 His letter is followed by numbers much like the FBI agent in the “L: Change the World” (novel) and he doesn’t appear in the Wammy’s contact index (the film) :

But, F at the time of this email is not within Wammy’s and is deceased.

 K is also not in Wammy’s. K does not run away from the house in the film -- instead begins working under Dr. Nikaido (Immunologist), the only known former professor at the house (he is also mentioned in the novel).

Due to L being suspicious of K, it is safe to assume she had been involved in some incident before she went to work under a former processor -- in another country.

This does appear to be the full list because when L sends this email, he only clicks 6 times (the 7th in the list being L, himself), for 6 recipients. 

H communicates with Watari and is not on this list either, but is probably Roger, it may stand for HeadQuarters (Wammy’s House). H tells Watari that F has died during the investigation.

Other things of note:

B has passed away at the time of K’s story (L: Change the World).

K is stated to be the first K, so she is possibly a part of the first gen.  

Q is alive and had created both the “delete-all” system for Wammy and the security of K’s lab.

X, Y, and Z should be on this list (if they are alive), they were part of L obtaining the detective codes of Eraldo Coil and Danuve.. (before 2002)

J would have been arrested at this point (L: Prologue to DN)

It may be that as letter’s graduate, they become agents to assist Wammy’s and the world. 

This may mean that they they stay within Wammy’s system, unless they branch out as F, K, J, and Q have.

F has Wammy’s phone number, which is unique. There is no other letter I’m aware of that has it.

C o n c l u s i o n:

Ultimately, the successorship experiment to create a backup-L was inspired because L prevented the 3rd World War. This is why the letters are safeguards. 

... However, with J nearly creating a civil war, B becoming a serial killer, and K nearly bringing an apocalyptic epidemic, their purpose is more complicated than simply safeguards for the planet.

The existence of Wammy’s children, necessitizes the existence of Wammy’s children…

But, why is A missing? 

Why are X, Y, and Z missing, when they played an important role in L becoming who he is?

Can we make the Lore make sense?

A modest hypothesis:

B is a part of the list because it started after the incidences of A, X, Y, Z, & J.

This explains why, at the end of J’s case, J is so honored that L has communicated with him that J concludes the crime was worth it in the end. (螺旋の罠 コミュニケーター)

X, Y & Z died in the detective wars, which is why Mello heard this story from L himself and none of these old residents of the 1st gen. (DNAN 170)

Why L would choose to create a list at this point in time is worth pondering...

Perhaps, after the deaths, L comes to see that communicating with successors remotely is important - even if he doesn’t meet them face to face.

[lizadoesrph]

how to: sports guide -- FOOTBALL edition.

Sports and lack of knowledge when it comes to sports is literally my biggest pet peeve in the RPC, so here is a little guide especially for those muses who play football! Please like or reblog if you’ve found this in anyway helpful! Please feel free to refer to this guide whilst making muses or college rps! Part one here. 

disclaimer: I have not, nor ever played football. everything I know is from personal knowledge with people who have as well as being a huge fanatic of the sport myself.  As well as personal experience of a college athlete.

Overall.

Football is America’s sport. let’s be real, y’all can say its baseball but you would be wrong. Okay maybe not, but football is my LOVE when it comes to sports so I am so bias.

For my babies from the South -- they will follow college football to a T! They will probably have parents who are legacies and they follow their teams. The power house conference for college football is the SEC (south eastern conference), and overall the most dominant team in recent history has been Alabama followed by Clemson, and Ohio State. Saturdays are THE game days.

For my children from the North -- this is much more about the NFL. The Dallas Cowboys are known as America’s team, however... nobody really likes them unless you’re a cowboys fan.  The most dominant team in recent history are the New England Patriots.  Game days range from Thursday night to all day Sunday to Monday night! Thursday, Sunday Night, and Monday Night are known as “prime time games”

Myself, personally, I follow both college & NFL pretty closely since my family is from the North but moved to the South when I was young. 

For those in the west, football isn’t as big of a thing as it is on the east coast -- but seattle LOVES their team. Take a quick research on the NFL team near your muse’s hometown if they are from the states!  Maybe they have family from somewhere. And.. Green Bay is more or less America’s Team (Go pack go babbbyyyy)

Positions.

Special Teams.

This is usually reserved for second strings to get reps in. I could go into gunners, and all that but... not a star position.

Place Kicker - Usually an ex-soccer player who chose football over soccer.  A very valuable asset to a team, but underrated. Can always get crowd hypes up when they make a tackle. usually the position who gets the most death threats (sorry) example. mason crosby Punter - Same with Place Kicker, can sometimes be the same person. see pat mcafee who did both in college. Usually ex-soccer player and VERY overlooked.  They are usually the holders for place kickers during field goals. example. JK Scott. Returner - can make or break a team. bringing back a punt or kickoff for a touchdown will literally create the hypest environment. example. Tyler Ervin.

Offense. 

Quarterback - 1 // yeah, yeah, yeah. there’s more positions than this, I promise. example. the goat. aka aaron rodgers. Running Back - 2 // Smaller boys, fast, and shifty.  They usually do some dirty work, but a good one is a jack of all trades -- blocking, route running/catching, and carrying.  example. aaron jones. Full Back - 1 // Bigger boys than running back and these are the unknown angels on the field.  They are usually used to clear ways for running backs and help with down the field blocks, but also used for pass protection blocks. example. danny vitale. Tackle - 2 // Have you seen the movie “The Blind Side”. this is it. They are on the outermost boys of the offensive line. ( Kinda skipping over the offensive line since.. I doubt people are gonna play as them. ) example. david bakhtiari Guard - 2 // This is the boys on the inside, on either side of the Center. example. elgton jenkins Center - 1 // Very important role, in charge of getting the ball cleanly to the Quarterback whilst also getting up as fast as possible to start blocking against lineman and linebackers. example. corey linsley Wide Receiver - 2-4 // Probably the second most glorified role depending on the team. Tall, fast, shifty, with strong knowledge to run different routes, look and track the football to catch it.  Whilst also knowing where they are on the field at all times. example. davante adams, allen lazard. Tight End - 1-2 // Very important but scarcely utilized. There are either receiving tight ends or blocking tight ends.  The best will do both and do it effectively.  As much as I hate to say it, Gronkowski is probably the best example you will find.  These are big, strong players who probably have some of the biggest loads dumped on them when it comes to expectations. example. Rob Gronkowski, George Kittle.

Defense. (the best)

Lineman -  2-4 // usually in charge of stopping the run / pushing the lineman in to put pressure on the quarterback (nose tackle) these are the big boy 300 pounders example. kenny clark. Linebacker - 2-4 // split up into outer / middle/ inside. They are in charge of either coverage or rushing the quarterback depending on the playcall. The biggest jobs of most in containing either the quarterback or running back from breaking out into a big run. These are probably some of the most popular defensive roles since they can do so much to receive recognition (interceptions, great coverage, sacks, forced fumbles, ect.) example. Preston Smith, Blake Martinez  Cornerback - 2-3 // These can probably be the smallest people on the team, but they also need to be the fastest with a really solid vertical.  There is a lot of studying that goes into this role when it comes to knowing who you are playing against. Needs to interrupt the pass, and cover your receiver well.  example. Jaire Alexander Safety - 1-2 // my personal fav. position in the game.  This used to be split in strong/free, but it really isn’t used much anymore.  A smaller linebacker -- either assist in the run defense, assist cornerbacks, or provide a safety blitz (rushing the quarterback) example. adrian amos.

( yes I listed all packers as examples except at TE bc Jimmy Graham doesn’t deserve that recognition )

Recruiting.

Recruiting in Football is WACK. You get ranked from zero to five stars depending on how good you are in high school.  Zero stars being not so great and five stars being the best of the best. Five star recruits are the most likely to go to those SEC schools.  You get unofficial offers from colleges, and you will “sign” to a school on National Signing Day when it usually in February!  This year, they have an Early Signing Day which is happening mid-December! 

As a senior in high school, an athlete is allowed FIVE “official” visits.  This is where the school will pay for everything the athlete does, and is the last attempt a college gets to convince that player to come to their school.  An official visit is usually for a recruits top five schools. 

Once you sign a letter of intent ( an official, legally binding document that says you will go to the college of your choice to play the sport (football in this case) with the amount of scholarship money the school promised to give you.

College.

If your muse makes it this far, there is a 99.9% chance football is literally their heart and soul.  Those who are at big schools probably have dreams of going to the NFL.  If this is true..... there is a 99.9% chance they don’t go to classes lmao. 

In season, they spend around 30-50 hours working out, practicing, studying film, in meetings with coaches. you will be busy. you will hate your life. everytime you don’t have class, you will likely be in the field house or hosting parties somewhere. nobody drinks like college athletes drink, trust me, I was one.

Most college football players have mandatory study hall, around 2-8 hours a week they have to check into a room, the library, or their academic advisor to make sure they are on track and eligible for the following semester.

IMPORTANT: 

College athletes have a clock of 5 years once they step on a D1 field. You are no longer eligible to play D1 football after these 5 years. ONCE you commit to go to the NFL draft, you are no longer eligible to play NCAA football. You have FOUR years of eligibility, after these four years you are no longer able to play NCAA football. This clock resets for every sport. You can play in the NFL and return to college to play college basketball.

You can receive a medical or academic redshirt. these rules are complicated, but mostly won’t matter in RP unless you want?? your character to tear their ACL. It will take a small google search, but if that is too much, feel free to message me.

[adventuresinstudying]

After graduating high school (c/o 2019!), I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on my senior year. I wanted to share my wisdom (or at least some of my personal experiences) with anyone currently in their senior year - hopefully these will inspire you and help guide you through your last year of high school!

1. Do not let the college process consume your senior year.

Please, do not let this happen. Slow down. Take it easy. Try to devote less than 100% of your time to thinking about college, because otherwise it will ruin your year. Being a senior is a special time in your high school experience socially, emotionally, and academically - while college is important, it is not important enough to take away from enjoying this unique time in your life. Have a life and interests outside of worrying about your applications.

2. Take a free period (don’t fight me on this, do it).

A wise teacher once told me that every senior has a secret class that’s not on their schedule called “college applications.” While he was kidding around, this advice is accurate - having a free period will give you more time to work on your apps, whether it’s because you use a free to edit essays, study for classes, or simply de-stress. There is no need to overload yourself with courses - I promise no college will penalize you for taking a free period, and your mental health will be better because of it.

3. You will meet people you wish you’d known sooner - enjoy your time with them.

I found some of my best friends my senior year at the start of second semester. Yes, it was scary to realize that my most meaningful friendships were formed months before we would scatter across the country. But I was lucky to have the time I did have with these people, and cherish all the memories I have from my senior year. Be present and have fun with the people around you. Don’t be afraid to talk to new people or hang out with a different group just because it’s your last year - you never know who you’ll meet, and it just might make your senior year even better. 

4. Thank your teachers. And your mentors. And your coaches. And the people in the cafeteria. And any other adult who helped you get to this point.

Really, go around and give these people a heartfelt thank you. Write them a note or send them an email. From your favorite teacher to your least favorite teacher, you could not have gotten to this point without all those adults who supported you and advocated for you. The week before graduation I wrote thank you notes to all of my former teachers. Some were short, some were long - but every teacher who received a note responded with an email talking about how much it meant to them. Seriously, say thank you. It takes a village.

5. Try something new! It’s not too late.

It can be very easy to spend your senior year just staying on track. You’ve gotten this far and chances are you want to stay in your comfortable routine. I cannot recommend trying something new enough - take an interesting elective class! Join a club in an area you don’t have experience in! Try yoga! Anything! It is never too late to try something new, and it’s likely that you will have a lot of fun along the way or even find a new interest. Don’t worry about how it will look for college applications; focus on trying something just for the sake of experience, having fun, and going out of your comfort zone.

6. Senioirtis/Burnout is real.

Very often, the students who get hit by “senioiritis” the hardest will be the straight-A’s, 4.0 perfectionists. You may think that will never be you, but anyone who went through high school giving 110% will hit a wall and lose motivation. The best advice I received about senioritis/experiencing burnout is this: senioritis is less of a curse and more of an important life lesson. Maybe you went through high school giving your all 24/7 in order to get into your top choice college or be valedictorian. In the long run of college, graduate school, and a future career, this isn’t sustainable. You need to learn how to function at 75-80%, and more importantly to achieve results that you are happy with at this level. Take senioritis as a learning opportunity to be successful while balancing the aspects of your life.

7. Comparison kills, so don’t compare.

Comparison is one of the most harmful things you can do throughout the college process. Differences are inevitable; someone’s safety school may be your reach, and your safety school may be someone’s dream school. A friend may get into a school you’re rejected from. Someone you feel doesn’t work as hard as you may get into a school that you’re rejected from. These are just a few of the countless scenarios that breed comparison; you can’t avoid them, but don’t allow them to consume your life. First, remember that colleges look at students as a whole. You don’t know anyone’s entire story, so you cannot assume why they are applying to a school and why they were/were not accepted (and that includes yourself!). Second, everyone is on a different path. Don’t beat yourself up because someone seems to be having an easier time applying; everyone will get through the process at their own rate, and it will all work out in the end. Ignore what’s going on around you and focus on what you can do.

8. Be a mentor to younger students.

Ok, sounds cheesy, but don’t be the senior who yells at freshmen and goes around acting like underclassmen aren’t worthy of respect. Yes, you’ve earned some seniority by being the oldest in high school, but in my experience there is nothing gained from being that senior. As someone who spent a lot of time serving as a mentor both formally and informally, it is so much more valuable to be someone that freshmen (and sophomores/juniors) can look up to and go to for help. Whether through a peer mentoring group, a club, a sport, a class, or any other way you interact with younger students, be the senior who goes out of their way to get to know younger students. Introduce yourself, ask how their day is going, ask what classes they’re taking or how their year is going; all these are little actions on your part that can help underclassmen in big ways. Impart your wisdom before you graduate!

9. Find a healthy academic, social, and emotional balance.

Note that in a perfect world, these should all be equal. Study hard, but also spend time with friends and take care of yourself. The college process will be less stressful and your year will be so much more enjoyable if you learn to balance these aspects of your life. It’s ok to go out on a Saturday instead of studying for a test (chances are you can study earlier in the day or on Sunday!). It’s also ok to not go out because you need some time alone to mentally recharge. Find a balance that works for you, and commit to keeping that balance in place.

10. Think about your legacy.

Come May or June, you are going to leave the community you have spent four (or more) years being a part of. No matter whether you hated or loved high school, that’s a pretty powerful image. Although it might seem insignificant, consider the impact you had on that community. Maybe you started a club, or lead a group on campus. Maybe it was something smaller; maybe you always said hi to other students in the hallways or cheered loudly at sports games. I’m not saying you need to fake it in order to have a more significant legacy; I’m saying that it’s incredibly rewarding to spend your senior year being the person you want to be remembered as. This will inspire the people around you and feel more fulfilling than any grade or GPA ever will. Plus, you never know how a former teacher or peer may come back to help you in the future. 

I hope all the current and rising seniors out there find this helpful! Senior year has a reputation for being stressful and intense, but it doesn’t have to be. Enjoy your time in high school and make the most of the time you have left! Graduation may seem a world away, but the year will go by so much faster than you can imagine.

[mars-bar81]

Tagged by @hptruefan-cheekytorah

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2019. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Sorry, this became quite long! If anyone’s just looking for fics, I’ve bolded them to make them easier to see!

1.    A Week at the Humdinger

This was written for LCDrarry 2019, and I can’t tell you how much I love it. I’ve always loved the movie Pretty Woman, and this fest popped up on my radar a few months after I posted my drabble, A special client. The idea to continue it had already been floating around in my head for a few months, so I figured, why not? 

The world building on A Week at the Humdinger was very self-indulgent. Opulent hotels, fancy dinners, being able to buy out an entire row of tickets at a charity concert, paying my friends’ tuition—good stuff man, good stuff.

I think this was also the first long fic I’d written and posted that didn’t revolve around children or have them heavily feature in it (yes, I know, I put Teddy into it, but still, the story would have worked perfectly without him).

Finally, I loved creating the art to go with A special client. It took a lot of work (and a lot of coaching from my sister, who actually understands proportions, lol) but I love how it turned out.

Rating: Explicit Length: 52 231 words (plus A special client- 235 words) Summary: What happens when Europe's richest business tycoon asks London's poorest (probably) prostitute for directions? An adventure at the Humdinger, and a love story to last the ages. Or at least the week. Pairings : Drarry, Pansy/Millicent/Luna

2. Sex Ed for Witches and Wizards of All Ages

Okay, so Sex Ed is a topic that is very near and dear to my heart. I have studied it extensively through my academic career, and continue to learn so much amazing stuff from so many amazing people every day! I’ve said time and again that Sex Ed for Witches and Wizards of all ages is not a reliable guide to sex ed, because I did not fact check the entire thing, and honestly? It’s fan-fiction. 

That being said, I really wanted to challenge readers to reflect on what they think is important to teach children, and how much of an impact learning about consent, respect, trust, sexuality, healthy bodies and healthy relationships can have on all humans as they grow. As always, please talk to a trusted health care provider or qualified sex educator for questions/concerns related to sex ed!

Rating: Explicit Length: 77 066 words (my longest fic posted!) Summary: Draco and Astoria decide on their wedding night that they're not going to raise their future children with the same outdated traditions they were raised with, especially relating to love and sex. They never could have predicted exactly how much that decision would change Scorpius' life. Pairings: Starts with Drastoria, Hinny, eventual Drarry, Scorbus and Jeddy

3. The Godric’s Hollow Wizarding Parents Association

This is technically a year and a bit ago, but I think to this day GHWPA is one of my favourite fics I’ve written and deserved a mention! It was inspired by a Tasty Junior video showing how to arrange your fridge so that children could pack their own lunches, which is what Harry does with his kids in my story. I always see all kinds of clever tips and tricks online, and never get to use them irl, so I figured why not put them in a fic?

I also took GHWPA as an opportunity to really express how much food means in my daily life. I love cooking and baking, but I also love learning about different cuisines of the world and sharing that joy and connection that so many people associate with food, sometimes without even realising it!

Rating: Explicit Length: 26 298 words Summary: When Draco decided to move his small family to Godric’s Hollow, little did he know he’d have to deal with misleading television programs, some surprisingly friendly neighbours and a bit of peanut butter. Okay, lots of peanut butter. Pairings : Drarry, Past Drastoria and Hinny

@hptruefan-cheekytorah also made a gorgeous mood board for it, go check it out!

 4. I hosted the Drarry Discord Drawble challenge! It’s a lot of fun participating in the drabble and drawble challenge every month, but it was a whole new experience to host it, because it made me so much more aware of the artists in our community and gave me a whole new set of responsibility to manage for the month! It was a lot of fun though, and I encourage anyone who wants some drabbles and lovely art to check out the Drarry Discord Writer’s Corner Drabble Challenge tag on AO3 for all the amazing work creators have made in the months that this challenge has been running.

 5. So this isn’t an accomplishment that’s easy to display on Tumblr, but I’ve gotten a lot better at balancing my fandom participation with my real life. There was a time in the past couple of years when I would write and interact in fandom during every free moment I could find, often as a way to get away from stress and uncertainty in real life. I’ve been getting better at stepping back from fandom and managing my real life, and it’s working—my marks have improved in school, I left a job that was terrible for my mental and physical health to find something that makes me much happier, and I’ve pulled a complete 180 on my career path, and now have a much happier outlook on the future! Funny enough, through all that, I feel more connected to the fandom community than before! So if you’ve beta’d for me, cheered me on, liked or commented on my work, made a meme that made me laugh, sprinted with me, shared your own work that inspired and moved me, or even just said hi to me in passing, know that I really love and appreciate you!

 I won’t tag anyone because I’m sure the few people I know on Tumblr have already been tagged, but if you haven’t and would like to do this, please do!