#Batman and riddler

[your-so-vain]

YALL OMG THE BATMAN 2 SCRIPT GOT TURNED IN GOD IS GOOD🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[vitalix]

watched Batman Forever and BY GOD. MY RIDDLEBAT THOUGHTS. I need to write an obsession fic so bad.

[sockiepuppetry]

Wanted to draw a silly lil comic of Robin and Batman going to watch the movie about Pulitzer winner Lois Lane's husband

but then remembered that's how the Waynes got shot oh well GET BAT TASERED

[incorrectbatfam]

When it comes to mission reports, Damian is the epitome of not showing your work.

Bruce: Damian, what did you do with the Riddler?

Damian: I apprehended him.

Bruce: When, where, and how?

Damian: Yesterday. Crime Alley. Stakeout.

Bruce: Why isn't any of this written down? You have to document it for future case references. You just wrote, "Done."

Damian: Because I'm done.

Bruce: But you're supposed to tell us the steps you took.

Damian: Step one: I did it.

[charlesoberonn]

"Riddle me this, Senator Vance: You can sit on it. You'd might like to ride it. But you wouldn't like to sleep on it. What is it?"

"A couch?"

"No, Senator Vance... a horse. The answer is a horse."

[idknwhatputhere]

The fact that the villains really like Tim Drake

[raynewolferune]

Batmobile Conversations as Heard by a Fast-food Drive Thru Cashier

Batman: "No."

Red Robin: "But what if -"

Batman: "No."

Red Robin: "But I could -"

Batman: "No."

Red Robin: "What if I -"

Robin: "Cease this Neanderthal behavior at once! You cannot be a Red if you are dressed entirely in Green!"

~*~*~

Red Hood: "You're not my fucking father!"

Batman: "The paperwork says otherwise."

Red Hood: "Fucking where, Bitch! I'll burn them!"

Batman: "You'd still be grounded and for even longer if you did."

~*~*~

Batman: "Please tell me you have a Signal action figure now?"

Drive Thru Cashier: "I'm afraid Riddler high jacked the truck they were supposed to be on. We haven't got any in yet."

Batmn: *long heavy sigh* " Of course he did."

~*~*~

Red Hood, driving the batmobile for some reason: "I need 10,000 of one of literally anything you carry other than the Night Wings. I literally don't carry what it is."

Signal: "And one order of Robin Nuggets."

Red Hood: "And one order of Robin Nuggets. We Are Robin limited edition version if you have it."

~*~*~

Nightwing, driving the batmobile for some reason: "I need 6 orders of Night Wings, please."

Red Robin: "There are only two of us? And I don't want Night Wings?"

Nightwing: "Nah, that just cause Hood's trying to steal my lead. I'll get you anything you want other than the Caped Crusader Sandwhich though."

~*~*~

Batman: "No, you may not borrow the Batmobile."

Robin: "It's a right of passage!"

Batman: "You are too young to have earned that right yet."

Spoiler: "Ha! He called you a baby!"

~*~*~

Spoiler, driving the batmobile for some reason: "Do you guys have any glitter?"

Drive Thru Cashier: "Ma'am, this is a fast food restaurant."

Spoiler:

Spoiler: "How many packets of ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise can you legally give me?"

Drive Thru Cashier:

Drive Thru Cashier after checking with the manager: "50 packets of each."

Spoiler: "I'll take them!"

~*~*~

Robin, driving the batmobile clearly without permission: "I require 2 Robin Meals. One vegan."

Superboy the 2nd: "Oh! I want a Red Hood toy!"

Robin: "What?! Absolutely not! We will take the current Robin toy! A Nightwing if that's not available!"

Superboy the 2nd: "NOOO! I WANT RED HOOD!"

Red Hood, apparently in the back seat of the batmobile: "Dear God. MAKE IT 4 ROBIN MEALS, PLEASE, ANS GIVE THEM BOTH WHAT THEY WANT SO THEY SHUT UP."

Superboy the 2nd happily: "As long as I get my Red Hood."

Robin grumbling: "Ridiculous. Stop acting so thirsty for it."

Red Hood: *strangled, choking noises*

Superboy the 2nd: *mortified squeal* "ROBIN! That is NOT what that MEANS!"

[dgknightblue]

Okay so Danny’s family is insane and have a history of lab accidents and magic accidents.

So one day he is in a store and suddenly sees his long lost uncle (he got lost in a different dimension).

“Danny what are you doing here?”

“Uncle? Didn’t you get lost in a different dimension? AM I IN A DIFFERENT DIMENSION?”

“Uh how did you get here?”

“Family vacation. Dad was driving.”

“No wonder. Must have gone through a natural portal…. What happened to you?”

He grabs his face and arm.

“Lab accident…uh what have you been up to?”

“……Community service!”

“Community service?”

“Yep! I also develop video games, let’s go home and I’ll show you some!”

He nervously sends Danny a way so he doesn’t find out what he really does. Riddles.

“Bats! Leave him and cousin Maddie’s family out of this. I haven’t seen him since he was five and I will not have him disappointed in his favorite uncle!”

[your-so-vain]

I HATE LACRYBOY THEY RUINED HOW PEOPLE PERCEIVE RIDDLERBAT AND EDWARD NASHTON2022 IN GENERAL RAHHHHHH

The art style is cute and cool don’t get me wrong but I hate how they changed how people see the 2022 riddler and the riddlerbat ship 😔😔

[vigiluv]

Help, i have a chronic obsession with nerdy and weird mfs

[prlssprfctn]

Jason Todd arrives to the Gotham after being brought back alive for the first time, and while building up his career as Red Hood, visits Harvey Dent in the Arkham. They talk in a surprising peace, discuss this and this, and Jason even shares some of his insane ass lore, because, honestly, who is going to believe Harvey Dent?

And no one doesn't.

But there is a problem. The next time Bruce Wayne visits Harvey, Harvey randomly drops a bomb on him by saying that he is so, so glad that their Jaylad is back, and he grew up so much, looks so much like Bruce now! He even tries to assure him that, you see, yeah, Jason was dead, but he crawled out of his grave, and then, the Lazarus Pit fixed him!

Bruce thinks Harvey finally had reached the end of his line. Like, low-key, the last stage of insanity.

Harvey: God, he is still so well-mannered. I feel so pleased that he came to visit old me first, though. I always thought I was his favourite over you.

Bruce, laughing awkwardly, while asking the medics to add some new medicine to Harvey: Ahaha, yeah, that sounds like our Jaylad.

Harvey: Super happy for him, seriously. I mean, look at him, getting himself a new career as a Red Hood. That's our son. Feel a little bit bitter that he is into Al Ghuls family now, but that's fine.

Bruce, frowning, because Harvey isn't supposed to know about Al Ghuls and their connection to Lazarus Pit or about Red Hood: Uh, had J-Jason said something else to you?

Harvey: Oh, damn, we spoke for the whole night. He was pissed at you, though. Like, for the Tim guy, whoever he is.

Bruce, turning to the doctors: ...Maybe, uh, give me the same pills you gave him. I feel like I need it, too.

[bianc0re]

Superfreaks

inspired by the poster for Little Miss Sunshine,

[turnipoddity]

I miss my meow meow

[latverianpaparazzi]

[duckysprouts]

people still don’t understand batman’s rogue gallery and what they represent to him. hollywood i will kill you. listen: each batman villain challenges a different aspect of his character and/or philosophy, and it is why grim dark batman was never meant to work

joker: chaos and order.

the foil to batman’s suppressed madness. bruce is discipline; none is above the code and justice. “you’re just one bad day away from being like me” WRONG!! bruce wayne has not had a good day since he was 10 years old. every good thing that happens to him is followed by 100 bad things. he is the universe’s punching bag. and yet he persists, does he not? does he not still believe in goodness in spite of it all? suck my dick joker he does not think of you AT ALL you are nuisance to him he wants to spend the one day off he has every year with his family and friends and you had to ruin it with ur lame jokes and terrorist attacks

riddler: obsession and intellect.

the foil to batman’s ego. bruce wayne is one of the smartest people in the world, by way of writer favouritism. wdym you outsmarted brainiac, a being of pure intelligence, just because ur the author’s favourite pretty princess? alright king whatever u say. but he never lets it rule him. his intelligence is a tool to of protection; it’s a shield, not a sword. he’d never raise it against the innocent. edward uses his intelligence to prove superiority, that he is better. he is batman without humility, and that is why he will always lose, because intelligence is nothing without wisdom

the penguin: wealth and corruption.

the foil to batman’s class. they’re both billionaires, Gothamite socialites. oswald embraces his privilege and uses it to oppress the poor. bruce wayne understands his privilege and uses it to pull others up. “you wear a mask too” yeah and it’s prettier than urs u ugly bitch. oswald’s socialite mask is a polished classy persona that disguises his inner evil. bruce’s socialite mask is just a himbo and remains true to his desire to help people

mr freeze: love and grief.

foil to batman’s ability to move on from the past. victor fries cannot let go of his wife and makes it everybody else’s problem. this is also the philosophy of grimdark batman, which is why it cannot apply to batman’s true character. bruce wayne is traumatized from his parents’ deaths, but it also inspired him to become the person who he wished had saved him in that alley. how many times has he looked into the eyes of a scared child on patrol and saw himself? he became the saviour for his 10 year old self left in that alleyway. he was able to heal; yes, his parents deaths has shaped him into the man he is, that’s literally what life does. healing doesn’t mean the grief will shrink, but your world grows bigger around it. he has a family again, built by his own hands

scarecrow: fear and power.

the foil to batman’s darkness. batman is iconic for instilling crippling terror into others by a mere look, psychics hate him because his mind is a screaming hellscape, he dresses like a bat because when he was a kid he fell into a hole filled with bats and he associates it with fear. jonathan uses fear to control the helpless, bruce instills fear in evil to protect the righteous. “you’re just as ruled by fear” WRONG!!! batman is ruled by love. it’s not fear that powers him when he drags his mangled, half-dead body off the streets at every dawn to go home for a costume change and immediately go to a charity gala for disadvantaged youths named after his street-rat son. it’s not fear that inspired him to keep lollipops in his utility belt for the children he saves. it’s not fear that makes him do the same old shit of throwing you fuckers into that useless max security prison twice a week after getting his shit rocked, knowing full well he’d have to do it again in a few days, instead of just killing you.

two-face: duality and justice.

the foil to batman’s divided self. harvey started off as a batman, a lawyer wanting to do good. his trauma split him, but bruce integrated it into himself. bruce wayne does not reject his pain, he lets it shape him and he asks himself: “ok that sucked. how do i make sure nobody else will experience that?” harvey dent is completely split, indecisive in his morality, good and evil depends on the flip of a coin. but batman? people say that bruce wayne is the mask and batman is his true self. dawg do u think his kids call him batman? that’s some shit he’d say in his 20s when he was figuring himself out but he’s a middle aged father now and his children would drag him to filth if he says his black-leather bat fursona is his “true self”. they are all him. brucie wayne isn’t completely his mask either, because it’s the persona he uses to fuck with rich people and you know full well he’d delights in that to the bottom of his heart

his rogue gallery is a mirror to each aspect of himself. everything high-brow reddit bros and zack snyder says about batman’s edgy true self is literally disproven by the people batman spends his life trying to save. he’s not on the edge of villaindom; he stares his inner evil that takes on the faces of broken people in the eyes every night and says “this isn’t the way forward”

[t4tails]

dont be mad but i feminized your intellectual nemesis