#Bruce is a king of hell

[ghost-bxrd]

"You're a kid whos mom was obsessed with a cult, and when you were just 12, she sacrificed you. You end in hell and expected to be tortured for eternity, but turns out the demon wanted a child of his own"

by WRITING PROMPTs

Maybe Bruce?

Aweee now, just imagine!

These cultists? Totally an accident that they for the ritual right. Jason doesn’t die so much as he just seem to kind of vanish into smoke and—

wtf.

Ok.

There’s- there’s a whole child.

Right at Bruce feet. All of a sudden.

A human child.

In hell.

And look, they couldn’t have chosen a worse demon to send a sacrifice to because Bruce? He’s a protector of children.

Because there’s something that so many story and demonology books get wrong.

Hell is for the bad people to be punished for all eternity.

And Bruce? And all the other demons populating hell? Well, they exist solely for one reason:

To punish sinners for the crimes they committed in life.

It’s a jail. Bruce and his fellow demons are the jailers. They don’t guard the doors of hell because they don’t want anybody to get in, they’re guarding them so nobody gets out.

But children, children have no business being in this place of torture and agony. Not ever. There’s a whole ass system in place to keep the good souls from accidentally wandering where they shouldn’t be.

So Bruce sees this tiny, starved child crying and screaming and— fuck. This is a Dick situation, isn’t it? He needs to go to earth. Again. And drag some people down to damnation all early and piss off death again. But you know what? Tough shit. They want a demon? They’re gonna get one.

(Jason is soon introduced to another strange human after he mysteriously pops back up on earth. His name is Richard “Dick” Grayson, and his teeth are too sharp and his pupils look almost reptilian in the right light, but he takes Jason to a big ass house with a real strange butler and lots of food.

Jason thinks he’s seen the weird Brucie guy who introduces himself as Dick’s dad somewhere before… but Jason is cool with not looking a gift horse in the mouth. After all, what are the chances he’ll fall into another cult’s hands so soon after the last?)

[emacrow]

Hey, did you lose this?

A gargantuan looming form that was black as the night sky, coated in stars, cosmic dust, planets, and nebula. Extremely long snow white hair defying gravity floating above the ceiling spreading across like a growing cloud. Bright blue eyes like jewels staring down at tim

Tim could only stare dumbfounded with his sleep deprived eyes after searching for the right summoning in his backup backup bunker to find batman after escaping the arkham asylum.

In its right thin hand holding like a wet napkin was batman unconscious, coated in deep blue ice.

"I believe this belong to your dimension, at first, I thought it was a miniature cat at first when it tried a pathetic attempt at fleeing my children's toy box was when I noticed it was just another misplaced humans and they don't last long in the infinite realm much less my children's toybox. It took me a moment to figure out the right dimensions where it originated, but you thankfully made it easier for me to find with the summoning." The bring lightly drop Batman down to the ground as the deep frozen ice easily melted away.

"D-don't you need a payment?" Is what Tim spoke after his mind reset back from shock.

"Oh no~, visiting this dimension is a grand payment considering this where I can finally nib the bud of those pesky sewage ectoplasm that been a pain in my ankle for long enough. At best, you would be rewarded for giving me such a gift." The being lightly tapped Tim's head with its glowing index finger, ruffling the black hair lightly.

"Should you need me for any favor, Call upon me, the High King of the Infinite realm, Danny Phantom, Protector of the Dead and Alive, Center of the Eternal Vast Sp" The be- Danny did a light bow, as his towering being faded away, the summoning circle disappearing as well.

Leaving only Tim alone with a Bruce coughing a bit, taking a couple of heavy breaths of fresh air which snapped Tim out of his stupor.

"Bruce, Bruce, are you alright?" Tim rushed over and lightly shook Bruce's shoulder as Bruce's eyes opened slowly to see Tim, except there was something different about tim. His hair wasn't black but now a strikingly bright white with specks of stardust.

Fanart -> link

Part 2-> link

[starry-bi-sky]

incorrect blood blossom au quotes

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Danny, as nightingale: *making horrific noise bombs* Nightingale: if i use this audio of the sun, reverse it, reverse it again, then layer it on top of these reconstructed dinosaur growls, and then drop the pitch, i can almost replicate the noise of a leviathan in the deep end of the zone :) Nightingale: some circles call this "psychological" warfare Nightingale: i call it a highly effective brown note

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Once Bruce's gimmick villains start popping up: Danny, gripping Bruce by the shoulders: Buzz. Buzz. listen to me. listen. Bruce: Danny: monologues? fuckin' wORK. you gotta let 'em monologue.

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Bruce: you incited a prison riot? Danny: you assaulted a police officer? Bruce: Danny: Bruce, trying not to smile: Bruce: actually, i assaulted three Danny, failing at trying not to smile: and i incited several

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Danny talking about cujo: —he’s a good dog! Bruce: im sensing a ‘but’ here Danny: ....you’re right there is a ‘but’ Bruce: hm. Danny: but, you know how ghosts have powers? Bruce: im assuming the dog has ghost powers. Danny: m. Mhm. he can become the size of a bus Bruce: … a h

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Bruce: wait. pause Danny, was about to drop Dad Lore on Bruce: Bruce: is this another horrifying thing from your childhood that im about to hear? Danny: Danny:…yeee..es? Bruce: *wearing the face of a man mentally preparing himself for whatever fucked up shit danny’s about to spit out of his mouth* hn Bruce: carry on

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Nightingale: be the karma you wanna see in the world. Nightingale: with a few tranquilizers, a slingshot, and some red paintballs, you too can trick the mob into thinking that they've been shot by Batman's sniper from hell! Nightingale, winking: they're not totally wrong about it either!

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Nightingale: I cant kick people in the face anymore thanks to the bone-eating poison Superman: the what- Nightingale: so i do the next best thing, and enact psychological warfare on Bat's enemies instead.

[luvingsolace]

I think we as a society should stop considering Nico di Angelo as cool and accept he’s actually a fucking loser

[bluemoonwolf17]

Holy Shit!? This got more attention than I thought it would. Lucifer Damn!! Anyway, as promised! Here is the second part of this shit show Part 1

Okay, Again, listen. At this point, I just like the idea that Danny knew the Bat kids before everythin' happened, okay?!

And cannon? Who's she? I don't know her.

Also!!! A little warin' at one point, it gets a little gory.

_______

While Danny and Alfred were catchin' up, plottin' is where a 12-year-old Dick Grayson came down the stairs to see if Bruce was back from his meetin' that ran too late for the kids likin'.

When the kid saw a giant man who looked like Bruce near his Dad Bruce, he might have blurted the first thin' that came to his tired mind, "Do I have another Dad that's a giant, or am I that tired?" Bruce groaned Alfred, hid a smile behind his hand, and Danny, full-on cackled.

Danny, after laughin', froze then whipped his head towards Bruce so fast that his neck cracked. Bruce flinched away from his Pa because of the look he got or the sound no one knew.

Danny stared at Bruce with a look that could freeze a man. Bruce gulped and sent a silent prayer to any Ancients that'll listen while he looked between Danny and Dick. He settled for Dick.

"Ah, no, chum, this is your grandfather, Daniel Nightingale-Wayne Pa. This is your Grandson Richard Grayson, although he prefers Dick," Bruce said to Dick, then turned to Danny at the last part.

It was quiet until Danny spoke up, "Bruce Thomas Nightingale-Wayne! You are in so much trouble, young man!" Every Bein' in the room flinched (Yes, even Alfred). Bruce nervously chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck.

Dick spoke up next. "Wait! I have another Grandpa!?" Danny sighed and looked at the kid. "Apparently so, kiddo. If you'd like, you can call me Pops or Papa" Dick had a bright smile on his face and launched himself towards Danny, yellin' out Papa with a gleeful giggle.

Danny just chuckled and hugged the kid back. "Y'know, I never expected that I would reunite with my son after years and then learn that I also have a grandson," Danny glared half-heartedly at Bruce.

After that fiasco, they moved to the kitchen. Danny made some of his famous hot cocoa and gave everyone a cup of it (Again, yes, even Alfred!) and just sat and talked until Dick was noddin' off into his empty cup of cocoa. Danny then told Bruce to take his kid upstairs and go to bed.

Bruce tried to fight about him goin' bed, sayin' he had work to do, but quickly shut up when Danny gave him a look. After that, Bruce bid Danny and Alfred goodnight.

Once the two were gone, Danny turned to Alfred and asked to know everthin' that happened, so Alfred and Danny stayed up late in the night. Alfred explained what happened while he was gone for almost four years without visitin' Danny almost went back to the realms to ice the Observents thoroughly once and for all, for keepin' Danny in the domains for so long.

After the talk, the two bid each other goodnight and went to bed. Over the next few weeks, Bruce got Grounded multiple times.

The cause of said groundings? 1) not tellin' Danny he was home 2) lettin' Dick be a vigilante Danny wasn't even that old when he became Phantom!

Dick was also not allowed to patrol on school nights anymore and was also to learn techniques from Danny to keep him safe after Danny knew he was a bit liminal. 

3) Scarin' him to complete death when he disappeared, yeah, he's not happy about that one, nor is he happy about how he portrays himself as a playboy. He does get it. He needs his "Brucie" persona and all, but still!

And finally, 4) this one is mainly Danny groundin' him from the Bat-Computer to get sleep. He still remembers how taxin' it was to have little to no rest in his teenage years and then go to school or just have to show his face. Yeah, it's not fun.

He also got to know Dick more. He learned about his parents and fears (he also may or may not have let Dick talk to his parents,) and he likes to call Dick Shootin' Star or Star. He knows that he prefers to be called Dick, but Danny just can't, and hey, he is his grandson, so of course he gonna give him a nickname.

This time, Danny spent most of his days in the dimension, and the only way he would go back to the realms is if Frostbite Clockwork or Pandora called him to the domains then and only then.

Danny did help a lot with Bruce and his terrible emotions. He could've sworn that Bruce wasn't that bad before he left. Yeah, Danny and feelings don't get along but damn.

Danny watched as Dick grew up into a good man and watched as Bruce bettered himself, and one day, Bruce came home with a nasty bruise. Danny just raised his eyebrow until Bruce told him the story, and then Danny was on the floor laughin'.

Then, a couple of days later, Bruce came home with the kid that did the bruise on him. Danny just snorted and welcomed Jason into the family. Then Jason learned that Bruce was Batman, Dick was Nightwing, and Danny was Phantom.

(Danny would help Batman every now and again, and Bruce and Dick didn't get into that huge fight, but he did still want to become Nightwing)

And you better believe that Jason got the same rules as Dick, and yes, he got a nickname, Danny, calls Jason Supernova. and Jason, in Danny's opinion, was sometimes more chaotic than Dick was.

Then, a few years later, Jason got takin' by the Joker. Danny was again at a meetin' in the realms, but this time, it was because Fenton's weapons were found in the domains.

Bruce knew he wouldn't get to his son on time, so he did the only thin' he could. He yelled and asked his dad to save Jason.

Danny heard his call and quickly got up with a growl. Every ghost in that room shielded themselves. They didn't want a repeat of the last time. Danny tore open a portal. When he got there, he yelled for the Joker to stop. Jason looked up and smiled. His Papa came, although the joy didn't last long. Joker screamed at Danny, sayin' that he had ruined his plan. Joker then turned to Jason and smiled.

Danny rushed forward to get Jason but wasn't fast enough. Danny screamed as the Joker brought down the crowbar. 

Danny, honest to the Ancients, couldn't tell you what happened next. One second, he was rushin' to get Jason then. The next thin' he knew, He was standin' over. The Joker said clown was on the ground lookin' up at Phantom.

Phantom heard his Son quietly cryin' for Jason. Phantom felt his anger skyrocket. Phantom felt his body shift to his more Eldritch form.

His teeth elongated, and his eyes shifted to glowin' pools of toxic green. His frame started to change into a four-armed bein' his skin took on a star-like appearance.

(I can't really explain it well, so I'll just put the thing that I took his look off. Also, it is considered Pompous-Pep. If you don't like it, then ignore it. I just like Danny's design, Space Monster Danny!

Although I have a slightly different idea. Instead of the blue and pink and bits of purple, he's full black with a bit of blue and purple swirlin' around, with toxic green eyes. And the stars tend to shift on his body)

"Joker, as the King of the dead, I know that everythin' must end and that everyone has a time when they die," Danny heaves a huge sigh. "But it does not mean that I'm okay with you killin' people, and even more so you've just. Killed. My. Grandson." The earth shakes when the last words are spoken.

"D-dad..." Bruce croaks out, Phantom. He tilts his head in acknowledgment that he Heard Batman Joker laugh. "Aww, does Batsy need his Daddy to fight his battles?" Bruce's eyes glowed a light green. "No, I don't, but I know when I need to back down, Joker," he growled.

Phantom Looked to Batman, and the man bowed his head. "This man has done terrible things, and I believe he can never be saved. You can do what you want with him," Phantom hummed.

He then turned to the Joker. "I do not prefer killin', but if you do survive this and go back to your ways, then I will have no choice but to kill you with my bear hands," Phantom's voice boomed.

The ghost then put one of his hands on the Joker's head. The man screamed and flailed. After a minute, he stopped, and Phantom let him go. Then, the man flopped bonelessly onto the ground. His face contorted into fear, and his eyes rolled back into his head.

Phantom sighed. He turned to Batman, and Robin, the boy, lay in Batman's arms. As he walked towards the two, his form shifted again. Back to his original, Bruce looked up as Danny kneeled. "W-what did you do him?" Bruce asked.

Danny growled. "All I did was put him through the same things that he has done to other people," He told his son in disgust for what he saw the Joker do. A small part of him wishes that the Joker lives so that he could kill the man.

Bruce looked down at his son. "Dad, can you make sure he's alright in the realms, and please tell him I'm sorry for not makin' it on time?" he asked Danny with tears threatenin' to fall.

Danny nodded his head. "I will make sure he is alright when I find him. I will tell you, I promise, Little Galaxy," he promised his son.

Bruce broke down after those words were said. Bruce hugged Jason and cried. Danny wrapped the two in his arms and cried with Bruce. Danny had failed again, he couldn't save Thomas and Martha, and now he couldn't save Jason.

The funeral was normal as any funeral could be, although Danny hoped he would never have to go through another one after his late partners. It was his first funeral and what he hoped was his last, but the Ancients weren't on his side, he supposed.

Danny still couldn't find Jason in any of the realms a few weeks after the disaster. He was gettin' upset that he couldn't find his grandson, and Bruce, Dick, and Alfred could tell.

One day, he came across an island just a short distance from Phantom's Keep. At this point, it's been two an half months since Jason's death, and one that little island was Jason, his grandson, his Supernova. When Jason saw Danny, he flung himself towards the man.

"PAPA!" Jason yelled after he was in Danny's arms. He bawled his eyes out. Danny joined him while sayin', "Oh, Supernova, I found you!" "I'm so sorry for not savin' you on time," "Your dad's sorry too," "Oh, I'm so glad you're okay!" and so on.

Danny was the first one to calm down. He managed to get Jason's sobs into hiccups Once the kid finally calmed down. He spoke, "Papa, what happened? I-I remember you lungin' towards and pain, then I just woke up here in the realms." he asked Danny.

Danny sighed. It seems that Jason doesn't fully remember his death. "...It was the Joker he- he Killed you, Jason..." the man whispered.

Jason froze the Joker...killed him? Is that why he woke up in the realms? Is he a ghost? If so, does that mean he'll never see his family again? Not his big brother, the goofball Dick. or Alfred's cookin' lessons, or Bruce's his Dad's hugs? His Papa's comfort. Will he never see his family again?

Jason knew he was spiralin’, but he couldn't stop.

Danny saw that Jason was spiralin’, so he quickly brought him into his body, curled around him, and tried to pull him out of his head. After a few minutes, it worked.

Danny had a feelin' what was goin' on in his Supernova's mind. "Yes Jason, your a...Ghost now, and I'm sorry for that, but it does not mean you never see the rest of the family again. I can always take you back, y'know" Danny smiled, tryin' to cheer up Jason.

Jason sighed with relief. Danny took that as a win in his books. The two just sat there and talked for a while, but somethin' was botherin' Jason the Joker. What happened to him? Did Bruce keep him alive like the other times? or is he dead?

Danny could tell that somethin' was on Jason's mind. "Alright, Supernova, what's up? I can tell there somethin' spinnin' in that head of yours. Jason flinched and alerted Danny.

"Whoa, whoa, what's wrong? Are you okay, Nova? Danny asked worriedly. Jason gulped. Here goes nothin', he thought, "U-um, the Joker...What happened to him?" Jason asked

Jason watched as his Papa's face darkened. "That man has been put through what he has done to his victims, although the fool bein' is in a coma has been since you died." Danny told Jason with hints of anger in his voice, "They also say that he will never wake up." Danny smirked. He hoped it'd stay that way, but he also didn't mind if he had to entirely kill him if the roach survived.

Jason laughed and asked, "Did Da-Bruce agree to that plan?" Danny smirked. Yes, he did indeed catch that slip. "Yes, he did, in fact. He gave me full permission to do what I wanted to the man." Jason's mouth dropped.

Bruce actually let someone die? Huh, he guesses that the rumors on Batman's refusin' to kill people were fake or somethin'. After that earth-shatterin’ information, Jason asked if he could see them. Danny smiled And got up. He tore open a portal and reached out his hand towards Jason.

Jason laughed gleefully and jumped on Danny's shoulders. Danny laughed with Jason. The two went into the portal and walked straight to the entry of the Manor.

Danny went back to human while Jason went invisible (No, Danny did not feel jealousy at all, no sir), and the two walked to the kitchen. Danny had a feelin' the three would be there. And the man was right Alfred was just puttin' a plate of cookies down when the two walked in. Both Bruce and Dick had a cup of tea in their hands.

Bruce and Dick looked like absolute shit, in Jason's opinion. Bruce, more than Dick and Alfred, looked like he aged twenty years. The three turned their heads when Danny walked in. The three noted that Danny looked happier than when he left. His eyes also looked a bit red.

"Is everythin' alright, Master Danny?" Alfred asked. Danny smiled his megawatt smile. Bruce sat up straighter. His Dad hadn't smiled like that since Jason died. Does that mean...?

"It's so much better than alright. Alfie!" he said. Danny then turned his head to his shoulder and tilted his head to the three. Dick and Alfred raised their eyebrows. Bruce stood up and looked at Danny with hope. Bruce then felt arms wrap around his torso. He then looked down and saw Jason appear.

Bruce looked to Danny for confirmation. Danny simply smiled. Bruce then quickly wrapped his arms around Jason. "Oh, Jason. I'm so so sorry, baby boy. I'm sorry that I couldn't save you." Bruce choked out. Dick quickly stood up with tears in his eyes. Alfred brought his hand up to his face.

Jason was also cryin'. "N-no, Dad, it's okay. Papa already explained everythin' to me." Bruce reached out for his Dad, and Danny complied. Danny also brought Dick and Alfred into the hug for the rest of the night. There was a pile of Waynes on the floor, huggin' and cryin'.

Over the followin' months, the Family was whole again. Jason decided to stay in the dimension with his family. And Jason learned how to copy Danny's ability to shift into his human form. It didn't work entirely, but it did help Jason look a bit more human, and it did get him out of his Robin costume.

Everyone was happy that Jason was no longer in the outfit he died in, and he was glad that no one in the family minded that he was a full ghost, unlike his Papa, that he'd never be warm again, or that sometimes he might be a little too inhuman.

About five months later, the Waynes learned that the Joker somehow survived what Danny did to him, but instead of showin' him that it was wrong to do what he did, he became worse than before the first encounter after he broke out. Bruce almost lost half his body.

Danny managed to save him by takin' the blow meant for Bruce. It took Danny a week to recover from what the Joker did. Danny lost the left side of his body and part of his face. Danny had to stay in his ghost form the whole time, or he would've died completely.

After the Joker hit Danny, the clown laughed and pointed to Batman and told him he'd be back after all. He had a score to settle, and the clown disappeared. Both Nightwing and Batman ran towards Phantom.

After Danny recovered, he noticed that Jason became angry. No, he was furious. He was afraid of what that meant for his Supernova, then a couple of days later, Jason went missin' the Bat-fam couldn't find him at all. Danny couldn't even feel him anymore.

One month later, Batman brought home a kid. The kid had to be no older than thirteen. Danny learned the kid's name was Timothy Jackson Drake. He preferred to go by Tim.

When Tim saw Danny, he asked to join the Bat fam. Danny raised an eyebrow at Bruce, and the man looked away and then explained what had happened. All anyone in the Manor could hear was Danny's absolute insane cacklin' amazin' feet since the Bat cave was several feet underground and considered soundproof.

After Danny calmed down, he asked, "Now, why in the realms would you ask me that question, Little Comet?" Bruce groaned. "He figured out our identities somehow and learned that I listen to you the most." Danny snorted.

"Well, yes, I do hope that you'll listen to your father, y'know," he sassed to his son. "And you," he turned to Tim."Why would you want to join us, and if you knew our identities, why haven't you told anyone?" Tim had his mouth on the ground.

"YOUR BATMAN'S DAD!? WAIT, I THOUGHT THAT HIS DAD DIED YEARS AGO!?" Bruce and Danny looked at each other, then Tim, then at each other again, and started laughin'. To say Tim was confused would be an understatement.

The two men then explained Wayne's history, leavin' out some. Parts since they have yet to know the kid fully, they also learned that Tim never learned Danny's identity out of the four. Danny was a bit smug that the kid never figured out who he was.

Tim also explained that he wanted to become the next Robin. Danny immediately said no. Tim was confused and a bit upset. He asked why not, and Danny told him that he did not want to lose another grandchild again. Tim tried to tell Danny that he would be okay and that he'd make sure he wouldn't die. (Tim totally ignored the Grandchild thin'.)

Danny flared up. Sayin' no again, Bruce put his hand on his Dad's shoulder. Danny calmed down, and a minute later, he sighed. He told Tim that, fine, he could become the next Robin BUT! After he said so and that, he was to get trainin' from all three of the members of the bat Family, and he was to have ground rules set after he became Robin, no if and or buts.

Although not totally happy with the arrangements, he excitedly agreed.

(So~ I just like the idea that Bruce immediately goes to Danny when he wants to adopt a new kid or if the kid wants to be a part of the activities after dark.

And Danny's the one to give the ground rules. Alfred agrees with this plan entirely. After all, Danny runs the realms in between realms and was once a teenage vigilante/town hero himself.

It also helps that Danny will sit down and talk with Alfred about certain things.)

The Joker was sited again a week later, and that's when Danny felt somethin' shift. It felt like anger and revenge. Danny knew what this was. A reverent was just born into this world.

Danny suspected that one day this might happen. He was hopin' that the ectoplasm in Gotham wouldn't be enough to do this. And the question, who was the soul who turned into a reverent?

After a couple of weeks with the Joker bein' more brutal than he used to be, Danny finally managed to trap him. While doin' so, he lost his left arm. Man, what's with Joker and takin' Danny's body parts? And another thin' why did the Joker not attack the city and only went after the Bats?

The Joker's laughin' brought Danny out of his mind. Danny raised a brow at the man. The Joker was held tightly by glowin' green chains on his wrists and ankles. Joker just smiled wider when he had Danny's attention on him.

Okay, no, seriously, was the man obsessed with him or his son? "My, my Phantom, I must say you look dreadfully terrible. Is it because I killed Robin? Your grandson? Is it how I bashed his head in?" He said in a mockin' tone.

Danny snapped. A chain wrapped itself around the Joker's neck and squeezed, cuttin' off the airflow to allow the Joker to breathe. Danny then got up into the Joker's face.

"You have no right to talk about my Grandson like that! And if you remember correctly, I gave you a warnin' if you survived," Danny hissed. "Enjoy hell or wherever you are placed in my realm, farewell Joker." The chains around the Joker's Neck got tighter. Danny pulled the chain with all his strength, rippin' the Joker's head off his body.

Blood splattered onto Danny's face as the body dropped to the ground, creatin' a puddle of blood along with it. Danny just stared at the man with no remorse. Danny will also later admit he felt great satisfaction that he got to rip off the Joker's head.

Danny sighed. He brought up his finger and snapped the body went up in flames while he put the joker's head into a bag. (Hehe, not sorry at all~)

Danny then went back to the Batcave. When he got there, he found Batman Nightwing and the new Robin. Even though little Comet was not allowed to be on any patrols, he was allowed to help in the Cave somewhat.

Bruce raised a brow at the bag. Danny nodded his head towards the med-bay with much confusion. Bruce walked to the med-bay, and Dick and Tim tried to follow the two men. Danny brought up a hand and told them to wait there. Both of the boys pouted at their Papa.

Danny showed Bruce the bag's contents when the two were in the med-bay bay. Danny heard Bruce gasp. He didn't see the look on his son's face since he turned away. He knew he would get angry again if he saw the Joker's head.

"...Dad?...What did he do? I've never seen you this mad before." Leave it to his son to figure out he was so mad that he decapitated the Joker. "He was mockin' on how he killed Jason, and I lost my temper," Danny stated. Bruce hummed.

Danny then felt a pair of arms wrap around him. He looked down and saw his son huggin' him. Bruce pushed his face into Danny's chest. "Thank you, Dad...Thank you so much. Bruce half laughed and sobbed. "I just wish Jason could see what his Grandfather did for him." Danny wrapped his arms around his son and rested his cheek on the top of Bruce's head.

"Yeah, Galaxy, me too...Me too." Danny held his son for a bit longer. Until Dick asked if the two were okay. Danny chuckled as he separated from Bruce and yelled back at the two that they were fine and would be out in a second. "So should I torch his head like I did the rest of his body, kiddo?" Danny asked.

Bruce smiled evilly. "Oh, please do, Dad...Also, do you know where he's goin' to go in the infinite realms?" He asked with a dangerous tone. Danny merely laughed and said yes, he does, and when he appears in the realms, he can have a go at the man.

Bruce chuckled darkly, then straightened up and calmed himself. Danny turned back to the bag and held his hand over it. "Burn bitch burn!" he said and lit the bag on fire. Danny had a pleased look on his face.

The two men left the med-bay and found Dick on his hand doin' a one-armed handstand and Tim in front of him laughin'. Both Danny and Bruce laughed at Dick and joined the two on the floor.

Later, when the Wayne's were havin' dinner, Danny felt somethin' would come in the near future. He couldn't figure out if it was good or bad. Only time will tell. And why did the omen feel so familiar?

~~~~~~~

Oh boy, this took a while. The last parts were also extremely satisfyin'. I don't like the Joker at all, so I had fun writin' that part.

And I can't promise that I'll continue this. I tried to get this as close to the comics, but there is too much lore. But if I do decide to continue this, I'll probably just skip to Jason's return and him learnin' that Taila lied to him and such.

Anyway, thank you for readin' this! I hope you enjoyed this idea that refused to leave my brain! Have a good day or night, wherever you are! 

[littlefankingdom]

Harley Quinn: Nah. He's not Batman. He just kind of wishes he was.

Jason Todd: I AM Batman

Lucy (Harley's daughter): That's a little tragic.

Harley Quinn: I know, right?

- Jason "I will not be Batman but also I want to be Batman" being call out by Harley Quinn in Injustice 2

[feelingsareforweak]

I joined mcu because of Dumbass geniuses Peter, Tony, Strange and Loki and im leaving mcu because of Peter, Tony, Strange and Loki beCAUSE THEY DESERVED BETTER YOU MFS-

[munohlow]

Gifs stolen off forums.superherohype because the delivery of that first line has stuck with me for almost twenty years and I want to see this pop up more, use these whenever and wherever you can lol

The actor credited as “enormous prisoner” is Turbo King (he sure is🫡)

[dattebabunn]

I am so tired of Tom Taylor telling and not showing and it is the most egregious it's been this last issue.

To me there is only one thing worse than a comic being boring and that is a comic that is boring when it could have been great.

[is-not-a-bell]

Sleepy King

The Justice League Dark caught wind of a cult trying to summon the Ghost King. A being with power so terrible and great, that all of the chaotic Infinite Realms feared him. A true tyrant. Long ago it took the effort of ghosts equal to gods to seal him away into a permeant slumber.

And now this cult wishes to wake him and bring him to the living realm. It was a race against the clock to find the ritual site and all members were called on board, magic or not. Even Constantine looked stressed.

They did find the site.

But it was too late, the ritual was completed. The entire inner circle of runes glowed before being swallowed in a column of green light. The air filled with static and a ringing that made Supergirl crumble to the ground.

The light dissipated, but there was no great figure or being of pure evil. Instead there was a boy, a teenager. He laid on the ground curled up in his sleep. He was a ghost no doubt, dressed in regal clothing.

Despite this when he stirred, everyone froze. It seemed the cold hard ground woke him up. He got up slowly and yawned, revealing his sharp fangs. Once sat up he opened his bleary eyes to look around. He looked confused and tired, really tired.

"Where am I?" He mumbled. "I was trying to get some sleep." Constantine internally screaming, latches onto that last sentence. He glances over to Batman. He caught that last part too. Batman approaches calmly and crouches down in front of the boy king. Hardening his resolve, Batman takes on a gentle tone.

"Hey kiddo, sorry we woke you. Lets get you back to bed yeah?" The boy nodded in agreement. He pulled himself to his feet before looking around in a circle. "Where did my blanket go?" He asked rather sadly. Batman is quick to shed his own cape and drape it over him. "You can borrow my cape until we get you a new one." He nodded again, pulling the black fabric around himself.

John quickly summoned a portal door, while Batman led the King through it. John threw looks around at everyone. Everyone could tell he was mouthing the words. 'Find me a fucking blanket now'

Running on the logic of getting the king away from Earth, away from graves and the undead, that could give him power. The portal led to the Watch Tower.

Batman took advantage of the King's bleary state to send a base wide alert for all noncritical members to evacuate immediately. With a priority that death adjacent members leave first. "The stars are pretty." Bruce looked at the boy staring out the window in wonder. He almost looked like a normal kid, almost.

"Yeah they are, it's pretty late so we should get you back to bed." He nodded, going along with Batman's gentle coaxing.

He takes the boy to an unused bedroom. Making sure the room isn't dusty and that lights are dimmed. He glances back to see about a dozen different leaguers all holding blankets, one thought to bring extra pillows. The bed was pretty barren with only a single pillow and a thin bedsheet. So Bruce took a thick duvet, one of the fluffier blankets and a second pillow from his team before shooing them away.

The boy ended up keeping his cape, mumbling how it was warm. He tucked the boy in, before quietly exiting the room and turning off the light. He was pretty sure the King fell back to sleep before he even reached the light switch.

After the door shut, he made direct eye contact with John. "Constantine." They needed to figure out what the hell was going on.

[faramirsonofgondor]

AU where the mayor of Gotham retires or dies or something, and the Batsiblings decide it would be funny if they ran for mayor. Except they don’t run as their civilian identities, but as they’re vigilante ones.

Dick won’t stop pouting because the people of Gotham refuse to vote for someone from Bludhaven, Tim is incredibly offended that he ends up tied with Dick for last place, Damian is smug that he beat Tim and indignant that people refuse to vote for him because he’s “a child”, and Jason preens but is internally panicking as more and more people vote for him. He wins by a landslide.

His first act as mayor is to increase Bruce Wayne’s taxes. His second is to ban Lex Luthor from entering the city. Someone tries to tell him it’s illegal to do that and he just… walks away. Eventually he starts to get a hang of this whole mayor thing and ends up working with Wayne Enterprises to strengthen housing and construction in poorer neighborhoods, he gives teachers raises, encourages trade school and alternative routes for henchmen, he adds diversity and inclusivity courses to public schools, safety programs and gas masks are made more accessible, and he reinforces the security and integrity of Arkham.

Of course there are still times where he misuses his power a little bit, but it’s never anything serious and most Gothamites watch in amusement as the scene unfolds.

Like just imagine:

Jason, dressed as RH: You’re not allowed in, you know what you did.

Dick, standing outside the Gates of Gotham, giving his best pouty expression in his Nightwing gear: Please, Hood! I promised Robin I would take him to the zoo after patrol!

Jason: You should’ve thought about that before you ate the last cookie Agent A made.

Dick, now wailing: This is abuse of power! Cruel and unusual punishment! I demand a lawyer!

Of course there are also the times when Jason decides to do something nice for his siblings, except it just ends up confusing the fuck out of everyone else in Gotham. On Dick’s birthday, he announces that there is now an Official Animal of Gotham, and most people are expecting a bat, or maybe a bird, or hell even a crocodile. Everyone except for Dick, Bruce, and Alfred are confused when it ends up being an elephant instead. Jason also decides to unveil plans for a Gotham Animal Sanctuary on the same exact day. Everyone is even more surprised when Nightwing jumps on Hood, entrapping him in an octopus hug as their mayor flails around trying to pry him off. It doesn’t work and Batman has to pick Dick up by the scruff of his neck to get him off.

There are also some of the odder, but somewhat sensible laws that are passed. Condiments are banned during the holidays and in schools (Condiment King could be heard sobbing throughout Gotham when this proclamation aired). No one is allowed to dress as clowns for any circumstance. The sewers are off limits to everyone except maintenance/construction workers, who must carry guns on them at all times. Lex Luthor’s birthday becomes Gotham’s Official “Fuck Lex Luthor Day”.

Then comes Jason’s most popular decision to date, he has The Joker reassessed mentally, and when he’s found as sane he pushes for the death penalty to be given (not that he really needed to - it was going in that direction already). He almost expects an angry lecture or fight with Bruce to occur, but Bruce just looks at him and says, quietly, “You’ve done a beautiful job, son, I couldn’t be more proud.”

[rosemaryhoney27]

A Crown of Time and Themyscira

Diana Pierce was many things.

Ambassador. Warrior. Amazon. Daughter of gods. Guardian of justice.

But a mother?

That had never been part of the plan.

So when Kronos—Clockwork, he called himself now, robed in shifting fabrics of blue and silver, ticking softly with time’s breath—appeared in her Manhattan apartment in the middle of the night, she instinctively reached for the lasso at her hip. What followed wasn’t a fight, but something stranger. Something impossible.

He handed her a baby.

A tiny, squirming bundle wrapped in star-speckled cloth, with wild tufts of black hair and eyes so piercingly blue they glowed. Her first thought, strangely, was: He has my eyes.

Her second was: Who the hell leaves a baby with a demigod warrior princess?

“He is Daniel,” Clockwork said gently, holding up a hand as if calming a storm. “But he will be known across the Realms as Phantom. Your blood recognizes him. That is no coincidence.”

Diana stared at the child, then at Clockwork. “What are you talking about?”

“He is your kin—by spirit if not by flesh. He has been touched by death and time and still survived. His birth parents cannot raise him. Their fate is sealed by the choices they made.”

Diana’s frown deepened, but her arms tightened around the baby automatically. He made a small gurgling sound and blinked up at her. Her heart, hardened by battle and sharpened by duty, squeezed unexpectedly.

“This boy is not just a child,” Clockwork continued. “He is heir to the Infinite Realms, and one day, its king. But the Realms are not kind. Without the right guidance, without strength, compassion, and justice—he will not survive to take that crown. He needs you, Diana.”

She opened her mouth to argue. But then the baby reached up, tiny fingers brushing her chin. His touch was cold, like mist after a storm. And yet there was warmth in him too. She felt it in her very core—he was not human, not fully, and not completely god either. A balance of extremes.

Like her.

“Oh Hera,” she whispered. “What am I supposed to do with you?”

“You will know,” Clockwork said with the faintest smile. “You always do.” Then he vanished, ticking out of time like a skipped heartbeat.

That left Diana—Wonder Woman, daughter of Zeus, Champion of Themyscira—alone in her apartment holding a half-ghost baby apparently destined to rule the afterlife.

The baby hiccuped. Turned intangible for a moment, passing right through the blanket. Diana blinked.

Well, she thought, at least I won’t have to worry about diapers.

Still, she had a new and far more pressing concern.

How the hell was she going to explain this to the Justice League?

“Hey, Bruce, Clark—so, funny story... I have a baby now. No, not mine. A ghost baby. From a time god. He’s going to be a king. I guess I’m a mom now?”

Yeah. That would go over great.

The baby snuggled closer, letting out a tiny sigh that echoed like wind in a cavern. Despite everything—despite the confusion, the chaos, and the sudden crash-course in supernatural parenting—Diana felt something bloom in her chest.

Love. Fierce, immediate, protective.

She didn’t know how she was going to do this. But she would.

Because she was Wonder Woman.

And this was her son now.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Tim: Batcomputer, how would you gently break it to your family that you accidentally got married on a mission a few years ago, and now your husband, whose name you don't even know, has requested to spend a summer with you through his undead servants? Batcomputer: Here is an example of an elopement announcement. Tim: Scandalous and dramatic, I love it. Could you order two dozen elopement announcement business cards with the following information? Batcomputer: Understood. The shipment will arrive in four days. Alfred, four days later, going through the Manor mail: What the bloody hell? Bruce: What is it? Alfred reading: To whom it may concern, this card was just handed to you because you'd like to know who the man hanging off of Tim Drake's arm is. The answer: He's my husband with whom I eloped in the year of our great lord, Clockwork, 20XX. Much love and kisses! Mind your own business, the happy couple, Tim Drake and He of Glorious Darkness, Ghost King of the Infinite Realms. Bruce rubbing his eyes: Why does he do these things every time we take our eyes off of him? Alfred: I don't know, Sir. I sometimes wonder if the universe sent Master Tim to either test my will or punish me for a past life.

[apatheticsunday]

Dead Tired College AU

AKA "Danny Fenton and Tim Drake go to college at Gotham-U together" headcanon!!

Maybe Danny moved to Gotham to avoid his parents finding out about Phantom and Tim is a part-time college student trying to get his business degree so people stop accusing Bruce Wayne of nepotism after Tim inherited WE. (It absolutely still is, but at least this way Tim is at least somewhat more qualified on paper.)

Anyways, they both took Anthropology as their humanities/pre-requisite elective and they're discussing death rituals, afterlife, etc. Now imagine Danny, officially Half-Dead, and Tim, who's brothers (Jason and Damian) literally died, getting into a heated discussion about spirits.

I also find the idea of them arguing via fucking Canvas (or whatever discussion forum/platform Gotham-U uses) so, so funny.

Imagine it's like 3am;

Danny, insomniac, been awake for 42 hours and popping melatonin gummies like gummy bears, furiously typing: i'm literally THE KING of infinite realms?? i know what i'm talking about, i fucking died

Tim, also been awake for 42 hours, chugging an energy drink, sending a response in 0.2 seconds: Half of Gotham has died at some point. You're not special, dumbass.

Give me "group of scientists losing their minds and climbing over the table to assault one another during scientific conference" vibes!!

And then they get paired up to do a group presentation (and Brad, who they ignore because they're both Experts, so this poor frat dude just slowly sinks into his chair between two sleep-deprived maniacs screaming at each other in the library). But Tim notices something weird about Danny, aside from his insane views on afterlife. Danny... glows? And sometimes doesn't really touch the floor when he walks. They're going to get coffee (so they can keep arguing debating, obviously, not because they enjoy each other's company or anything), and Tim watches as Danny just kind of... floats. Like, he's still walking but he's not really touching the ground.

Danny's hands are also super cold. Tim knows this because he grabbed Danny's hands once or twice (or more) to do... something, idk. But since his hands were so cold, Tim figured he should probably keep holding them; y'know, to warm them up.

And when Tim leans in to ask a question or insult him, Danny's breath comes out almost like a mist. Visibly white, like exhaling a hot breath in winter. Which... what. Holy shit, is his presentation partner actually sort of dead??

Danny, on the other hand, has no idea that Tim doesn't know. He literally said he died? And Tim took it so well, snarked back that he's not special - it was so nice to just feel normal. So he lets his guard down a bit. Maybe isn't as tangible, maybe is a bit more floaty, lets his body temperature drop enough to be comfortable. Doesn't put a whole lot of effort into making himself look so alive (because it's really tiring to pretend to be something you're not) when it's just him and Tim because Tim already knows, right?

They could be friends or they could be more! Whatever floats your boat.

But I could totally see Danny squinting at Tim holding his hand, remembering how Tim bought his favorite coffee, saved him a spot a the library, constantly texted him (because, c'mon, Tim is a bit obsessive and you don't think he'd be texting his new "friend ;)" every minute he has the chance?), and always leaned in super close to "ask a question"...and be like, are we flirting?? Oh, Hells, am I into him??

For plot reasons, Danny could be like, "I can't tell Tim I like him! What if I ruin our friendship? It'll be my secret."

And then, one day, Tim is like, "Hey, I know you're keeping something from me. I think I know what it is." And Danny's like ohshitohfuck. This cumulates into them saying, at the same time, I know you're a ghost and I have a crush on you.

Tim and Danny: *shocked Pikachu face*

Then, Danny's like, "I can't believe I have a crush on a fucking idiot."

[sunarryn]

DP X Marvel #17

One week. One fucking week. That’s how long it took before the universe’s reality collapsed in on itself like a toddler knocking over a block tower made of cosmic rules, and Danny Fenton—sorry, High King Phantom of the Infinite Realms, Keeper of Balance, Ghost King of All Dimensions, Supreme Bureaucratic Overlord of Death and Souls, or whatever other bullshit title Clockwork slapped on him—was done. He was so done. With everything. With life. With afterlife. With bureaucracy. With math. Goddamn, he hated math.

He phased through the ceiling of what was left of the Avengers compound without so much as a knock because, frankly, he didn’t care anymore. People were dead. Everyone was dead. Half a fucking universe. And universes are fucking infinite. Literally. He’d been counting. Or trying to. But the math broke somewhere around “nine trillion decillion” and his brain short-circuited.

Inside, the Avengers were scattered around like bad leftovers. Steve was slouched in a chair like someone told him America lost the war. Thor was cradling a bottle like it was the last warmth in the world. Natasha looked like she hadn’t blinked in hours. Banner was trying to fix a coffee machine that had already given up on life. Tony—oh, Tony—Tony looked like he’d been held together with duct tape and sarcasm, and not the good kind.

“Yo,” Danny said, arms folded, crown floating behind him, cape swishing dramatically like it had beef with gravity. “Which one of you assholes thought wiping out half an entire goddamn universe was a great idea?”

They blinked. Steve slowly got to his feet. “Uh… who—?”

“No. Shut up. Don’t talk. I’m not in the mood. I haven’t slept in a week. Time doesn’t even exist in the Infinite Realms, and I somehow managed to be late to ten meetings that haven’t happened yet. Do you know what kind of eldritch administrative nightmare I’m dealing with? Do you?”

Tony blinked. “Not really, no.”

Danny whipped around to face him, pointing a glowing finger. “I don’t care, Stark. I don’t care that your kid sidekick is dead. I don’t care that half your team is sad. I don’t care that your billionaire ass is depressed and growing a sad beard like you’re auditioning for ‘Survivor: Superhero Edition’. I have literal oceans of paperwork made out of the screams of the damned piling up in my inbox because some purple California Raisin thought committing universal homicide was a vibe.”

“Hold on,” Natasha said, standing now, brows furrowed. “Who even are you?”

“I’m the janitor,” Danny deadpanned. “Of death. And you—you are all on my shit list.”

Steve opened his mouth.

“NO. I said no talking. Do you know how many souls half a universe is? Do you? BECAUSE I DON’T. THAT NUMBER DOESN’T EXIST. That’s not even math anymore, that’s heresy. There are species no one even knows about! I had to learn seven extinct galactic dialects in five minutes just to sign their death certificates!”

“Wait—wait,” Bruce said, cautiously stepping in like someone trying to defuse a bomb made of feelings. “You’re… the King of the Afterlife?”

“Infinite Realms,” Danny corrected. “Afterlife implies one dimension. I’ve got infinite. One of them is just an endless IKEA. You think you’re in hell? Try getting lost in that one for eternity.”

Tony blinked. “That explains the floating crown.”

“Oh, you noticed?” Danny snapped, sarcasm thick. “Yeah, the crown’s real subtle. You know what else I’m wearing? These.”

He held up his fingers. On them gleamed the actual Infinity Stones. Not the ones Thanos used. No, these were the OG versions—before the universe dumbed them down for mortal brains.

“I’m wearing multiversal cosmic artifacts as fucking accessories, Stark. I clapped death back into submission on my way here. I threatened Time itself with a lawsuit. I am so tired.”

Everyone was staring now. Thor slowly lowered his bottle.

“I have one question,” Thor said, eyes narrowing. “Can you bring them back?”

Danny didn’t respond immediately. He paced, muttering under his breath about soul processing queues and spectral overflow reports and ghost union strikes.

Then he turned, threw up his hands, and shouted, “Fine! Fine! But only because if I see one more Ectoplasmic Reconciliation Form I’m going to scream my own name and rip reality in half!”

Tony raised a cautious hand. “Just to clarify… you’re not doing this out of the goodness of your heart?”

Danny glared at him. “I am doing this because your collective idiocy has backed up the Infinite Realms so badly, I have ancient god-beasts getting angry Yelp reviews for not guiding souls fast enough.”

Bruce choked. “You get… Yelp reviews?”

“Do not ask. Do not google ‘Spiritual Bureaucracy Yelp.’ You’re not ready. It’s worse than you can even imagine.”

He clapped his hands. The power reverberated like a sonic boom made of lightning and bass drops. Light cracked through the floor, time folded, and space rewrote itself. In an instant, everything was back. People. Planets. Souls. Loved ones. Unsnapped. Safely. No one reappeared in traffic or mid-air. They were all fine.

Everyone stared.

Tony gasped. “…Peter?”

Somewhere in the compound, Peter Parker screamed, “MR. STARK I THINK I DIED?!”

Danny muttered, “Yeah, well, get in line, kid.”

Tony looked like he might cry. Steve looked like he might cry. Even Thor blinked back tears.

Danny didn’t give them a second to bask.

“Listen to me and listen hard, because I am only going to say this once. The next time you idiots let some glorified space grape get his hands on cosmic power and kill half the universe, I’m not bringing anyone back.”

Natasha stepped forward. “Wait—what—?”

“I said,” Danny growled, eyes glowing green and crown sparking violently, “the next time this happens, I am going to let the universe rot. I don’t care if it’s your kid, or your moms, or your emotional support dog. You will live with it. You will suffer. Because I’m not spending another week cleaning up your mess like the goddamn galactic janitor!”

Tony muttered, “Kinda thought you said you were the janitor.”

“I will kick your kneecaps off.”

Tony shut up.

Danny took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m going home. Do not call me again unless the universe is actually ending. And even then, it better be certified by at least three gods and signed in triplicate.”

He started floating upward, preparing to phase out, when Steve blurted, “Wait, thank you. Really.”

Danny paused mid-air, sighed, and turned around. “You’re welcome. I guess. But seriously. If another genocidal space maniac so much as coughs on the timeline, I’m filing a restraining order on this entire dimension. Bye.”

And with that, he vanished in a swirl of ectoplasmic smoke, leaving the Avengers staring at each other in the awkward silence that followed a divine ass-whooping.

Thor finally muttered, “I liked him.”

Tony sat down, blinked a few times, then said, “He just wore the Infinity Stones as rings. Like mood jewelry.”

Bruce nodded solemnly. “He’s not paid enough.”

“Was he even paid at all?” Steve asked.

And somewhere in the realms between life and death, Danny Phantom screamed into his pillow made of souls: “I AM NOT GETTING PAID FOR THIS BULLSHIT!!!”

[mysticlael]

Bat inco quotes

Roy, in Jason’s bed: Morning… how’d ya sleep last night? Jason, knocking Roy off: WHAT THE HELL?! Roy: Ow— Jason: What were you doing in my bed? You were supposed to sleep on the air mattress on the floor! Roy: I had a nightmare. Jason: You had a nightmare? What are you, five years old? Roy: Listen, I needed to feel comfortable and I was getting this perverse power dynamic vibe from me sleeping on the floor and you sleeping up there- Jason, in a royal accent: Why yes, how high and mighty I am up on my twin XL! Roy: That is not what I meant— Jason: Silence in the presence of your king, who sleeps a lofty twelve and a half inches above the ground! Roy: Listen, I’m not ashamed. I slept comfortably when I got up on your bed and I’m sure you did too. Jason: Yeah, okay- Roy: You know what? I wanna know. How’d you sleep last night? Jason: …That was the best I’ve slept in a while. Roy, gasping: The king slept comfortably with a peasant in his bed! Jason: I did not consent to this- Roy, dramatically: But my liege, our love is forbidden! Jason, on the phone: Hi, is this the front desk? Yeah, there’s a bed bug in my room and he’s five-foot-eleven, he’s got red hair- Roy: Ask them if they have one of those “Do Not Disturb” signs. I’ll put it on the door next time we… do it. Jason: Okay, I'ma go shower and wash all of the you off of me. Roy: Oh, maybe together we could— Jason: NO. Roy: Just to save water— Jason: No! You don’t even pay for the water! Roy: …Good point.

Steph: *Texts a selfie to the group chat* Hey besties!! Jason: *Texts a selfie clearly parodying Steph's* hey besties !!1! Steph: I literally hate you so much.

Dick, holding a box of Lunchables: Ah, I loved these when I was your age… fine dining. Damian: Fix yourself.

Tim: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Steph: 'Prettiest Smile' Dick: 'Nicest Personality' Jason: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Cass: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Steph: Today at 7 am, Tim poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Dick: I watched Tim brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm. Damian: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

Damian, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day? Bruce: … Bruce: What’s in the box? Damian: What woul- Bruce: Damian, what’s in the box? Damian: I think you know.

Bruce: Did you buy eggs like I asked? Damian: Even better! Bruce: What the fuck did you- Damian: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy.

Tim: What are we gonna do?! Jason: Blame you?

*Dick comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Barbara’s bedroom.* Barbara: Dick, are you.. coming to bed? Dick: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a girlfriend. Dick: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep* Barbara: ...

Roy: sapnu puaS. Kori: What?? Jason: What language is that? Roy: Turn your phone 180 degrees. *Roy was removed from the groupchat*

Kon, admiring a sleeping Tim: You’re so cute. Tim, sleepily: I could beat your ass. Kon, lovingly: I know.

Duke: How do those little boys on XBOX parties always know what slur to call you? Tim: They're empaths.

Steph: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Dick: No, that's not how you make cookies. Duke: FLOOR IT!! Jason: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Damian: YOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Steph: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Tim: DO IT! Bruce: NO-

Tim, at Kon: Would you like to stay for dinner? Bernard, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

Damian: What the fuck is with english teachers and being like; "write a story about a deep and personal memory that impacted your life". Ma'am, if I do that you're going to send me to the counselor's office.