#HER SAFE SPACE!!!!

[inkskinned]

i'm still trying to piece together the truth of it. when you left, you said: feel free to spin this narrative however you want. i have no idea if you were being cruel or if you just genuinely don't remember what you've done to me.

it's hard because i'd done so much of the work for you. i had seen the parts that flaked off, the rust underneath. i started separating you into two people - the one i loved, and the one who hurt me. i had this fantasy version of you - my partner - and then i had this stranger, a third person who would show up randomly to shatter me. i am deliriously glad i'm no longer with "the stranger". i miss the gentle (unreal?) "other" you terribly.

at first, i was so strict about my boundaries. i remember telling you to get the fuck out of my house if you were going to talk to me like that. by the end: i would justify your behavior for you, accepting even your mistreatment as "my fault" in the grand scheme. i look back on the person i was before you - smart, independent, confident - and i feel a strange sense of detachment. i don't even recognize me.

even in one of our last conversations, you said: if you want a partner that always talks warmly to you, find someone else. there was a time that a comment like that would have made me leave. and instead, somehow, i just placidly accepted that kind of thing. you were literally telling me that i wasn't allowed to have a reaction to your cruelty - and i just took it, because you'd so fully turned things around on me.

when people are faced with irrationality, a rational brain tries to make sense of it. this is the trap. they're lovely in the morning, gentle and blue-eyed and sweet. like nothing even happened, they breeze around the house and kiss you on the mouth. but at night; who is that? they snap almost randomly; flying into an impotent rage about just-about-anything. it just doesn't make sense. so the problem must be me, and my brain, and how i think.

the traumatized brain just wants peace. so maybe i'm misremembering. maybe you were just having a bad day. maybe it's actually me.

you eventually would fully turn on me and start implying that i am the bad actor in our relationship. that's what happens, right? that's literally in the playbook. you went to therapy for all of a month, told her a half-truth, co-opted therapyspeak. you figured out how to reframe your actions as "seeking peace." any time i stood my ground, i was "gaslighting." when i asked you to be more gentle, you said i was "tone policing." you said, randomly, i had emotionally manipulated you - i still have no idea what that's even specifically referring to. maybe my consistent requests for calmness and empathy?

and while i literally know better, and i'm sitting here, trained by you, thinking: wait, fuck. was i actually the person you made me out to be?

and the thing that scares me is that i literally do not know if you ever actually saw what you were doing to me. when you'd tell me how you remember arguments, you'd always summarize them in a way where you come off as gentle and easy: "i was trying to set an important boundary." what had actually happened was 15 minutes of you shouting at me i know you did something shady, just admit it already. eventually you'd say my reaction to your shouting (when i finally reacted, which usually happened around hour three) was inevitably "disappointing" and "another way i'm silencing your feelings."

how many times did i ask you - beg you - to just take accountability? looking back, i don't think i ever heard you say: you're right. the way i talked to you was wrong of me.

i am trying to tie together the two people into a full version of you in my head. yes, you made my coffee and made me laugh and spent hours on the phone with me. and yes - you would scream at me until i had to run away and hide behind something.

i wish i did have a narrative i could pull out and shape to my whim. i wish i did have some semblance of reality. instead i just stand here, strange and vibrating, wondering: what the fuck just happened?

[vintrage]

fire cannot kill a dragon BITCH

[fraternum-momentum]

aimee in an opulent fit???

opulenceeee you own everythinggg

[speench]

nsbu fans listen to me, listen, most of the cast hasn't had an Ify moment yet where they talk directly to their ?? alter egos?? and before we see dynamics unfold with other characters I need everyone to consider: Liv and Kingskin as unwilling father and his newfound ride or die child trope that is all

[delinquentkru]

i think a lot of the tension between langdon and santos comes from their motivations being different, even for behaviors that seem very similar on the surface. for example, they both want to be the best for all of the obvious reasons but, for langdon, i think it’s also because his self-worth is tied to his ability (“if i am not the best then i am less valuable to others and if i’m not valuable, why would anyone want me?”). for santos, though, it’s a self-preservation tactic in a lot of ways (“if i am not the best, i am showing weakness and am more vulnerable to being harmed again.”).

that kind of core difference makes it soooooo difficult for them to interact without triggering each other in an environment where langdon is the authority figure. like they get off on the wrong foot almost immediately because, in langdon’s mind, santos is constantly challenging his competence for no good reason and, in santos’ mind, langdon is trying to control her for no good reason. and it just continues to spiral from there lmao.

but i’m hopeful that we’ll see some growth in understanding between the two of them in s2 or s3 because i think they could learn a lot from one another once they’re able to get past the initial friction. fingers crossed!

[not-the-living-ghost]

One thing that i really appreciate about dead boy detectives is that they never treat platonic relationships as if they are less important than romantic ones. charles’ “rejection” on the staircase is never truly treated as a rejection, because he loves edwin back in all the ways that matter. in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter if they are dating or not because charles and edwin will always be charles and edwin no matter what

[mollysunder]

There is a theory that the way children play serves as a means to simulate and prepare them for the tasks they'll take on as adults. So for all the narrative weight both Jinx and the story give the boxing machine at the arcade it would never have prepared her or the kids to take on Piltover.

What are the two things that Piltovans excel at over their Zaunite counterparts to keep the hierarchy? Weapons and technological development.

When you look at the way Piltovans invest in their children, they don't prioritize hand to hand/melee combat training. Piltovans focus on giving their children experiences in handling firearms, a pursuit that is both leisure sport for the wealthy and a key offense against dissenting Zaunites.

And from the show notes even Jayce, whose family occupies the upper middle class, was sent on educational excursions across Runeterra to explore the world and learn what it had to offer. Without Jayce's education abroad he would never have been inspired to pursue the concept hextech.

It's no wonder that the two figures that are set to be Piltover's biggest threats from Zaun are Jinx and Viktor, becasue they engaged in the same kinds of games and activities as their Piltovan counterparts.

Jinx didn't have an entire forest preserved to help her practice her sharpshooting like the high houses of Piltover, but she did excel in the few games at The Rift (the arcade) that built on her talents. She's the only Zaunite thus far who's long distance offensive is a strong counter to Piltover's forces.

Viktor couldn't travel the world like Jayce did, but for better or worse he managed to stumble into an opportunity to get real opportunity in research not offered to his peers through Singed. It was through that experience that Viktor knew to turn to Singed when he was at the end of his rope, and the consequences of that will be fully realized in season 2.

Ironically, the kind of skill the boxing game champions is only good for keeping other Zaunites in line. Vander's days of fighting Piltover were way behind him when we first met him, and Vi spends season 1 primarily fighting other Zaunites. It's no surprise the Zaunites who embody the old ideal of strength in Zaun that the game portrays, Vi and Vander, are largely at the mercy of Piltover and end up collaborating with them to avoid further harm.

Zaun's future as an independent city-state couldn't happen if they stuck to their old ideals. The people who stand a chance against Piltover are the ones that not only succeed but excel at playing Piltover's games against them.

[fluffylord]

Look how far I went, for fear of losing you.

[sheikfangirl]

A bitter sweet memory ❤️

Pre-Calamity flashback panel from my Zelink comic. Work in progress.

[teru-kuromi]

my gf: oh idk if im a proshipper

also my gf: blocks artists/writers who draws ships she doesnt like without harassing them

me: aw babe thats exactly what a proshipper is!!-

my gf: half of her ocs are pedophiles, rapists, incestuous, murderers, lolis and/or shotas

me: oh??????

my gf: .. idk if im a darkshipper too tho

[dean-is-love]

dean and cassie doing their nails and being bisexual

[fellow-fandom-fruitifier]

AU where Edwin knows he's gay from the start would be fire me thinks.

Imagine if he thinks he deserved Hell but still wants to escape and feel so wrong and selfish for it. So he never tells Charles what actually happened between 1916-1989, Charles only knows whatever happened was very bad no good. Edwin would be horribly, painfully aware that he was falling for Charles. But that's wrong, isn't it? Boys can't like boys.

So he tries so hard to ignore it, tamp it down. He can't let Charles know. If he knows then he'll know why he's avoiding the afterlife, that he deserves to go to Hell.

Charles knows Edwin is scared of Death and the afterlife, he assumes that something happened from 1916-1989 that convinced Edwin he was damned but there's just no damn way someone as good as Edwin deserves Hell. But, selfishly, he never tries to convince Edwin to go. To leave for his beautiful afterlife.

Then Port Townsend happens.

Crystal is no idiot, she can tell Edwin's jealous from the start. She can tell Charles thinks it's because they're best friends, she can tell it's because Edwin's in love. That doesn't stop her though, she deserves one good thing after everything, doesn't she?

(I think Cat King would go very similar to canon, but it's less of "I'm not gay" and more of "I know what I am but these urges aren't okay".)

Niko loves love, she can tell Edwin loves Charles. She can tell Edwin doesn't know it's okay. Niko helps him through it, becomes his confidant, the first person he confesses everything to. I think they would have a huge conversation that ends in them both crying -- Edwin bemoaning his unrequited love, Niko mourning for him -- and cuddled up watching Scooby-Doo. (The sprites get teary eyed too but still mock them, Niko calls them out and they deny it. "It's dusty as shit in this old ass glass!" "Yeah, we're getting fucking pick eye in here!" "When's the last time you even washed this shit-ass jar?")

It all comes to a head with the Night Nurse. We all know her spiel, "I'm taking Edwin back to Hell and Charles to get processed." But Charles doesn't know Edwin's been processed. Charles doesn't know Edwin's assigned to Hell.

Niko is empathetic, not forcing Edwin to explain but not once thinking he did anything to deserve it. Crystal is up in arms, demanding to know what he did to deserve Hell, demanding to know why he hid it from Charles. Charles is confused, conflicted. Edwin's his best mate! There's no way he deserves Hell! But... but why didn't he tell Charles? Edwin is overwhelmed and panicked and no, no, no! Charles was never supposed to know!

Now, listen. Niko isn't one for confrontation, she doesn't like to fight. But hearing Crystal rip into an unresponsive Edwin while Charles lingers unsure on the back has her heart breaking, has her head hurting. So she steps in, shouts at them to stop, that they'll talk tomorrow when they've cooled off. And drags Edwin off to her room for the night. She doesn't demand answers and he doesn't give them.

The next day, everyone's off. The tension is high and only building. Crystal keeps sending Edwin pointed comments and Edwin is actively ignoring her existence. Charles is conflicted, caught between Crystal and Edwin; taking both their sides without taking either. And Niko doesn't know how to soothe any of it, so she sticks close to Edwin.

Eventually the four are leaving the graveyard, Crystal and Charles arguing when she rounds on Edwin. "And you! Don't think I forgot about you!" Niko tries to step in and stop it like she did last time but Edwin's tired, he's had enough, he breaks. "I was sacrificed! I was sacrificed and spent seventy-three gruelling years fighting to escape! There, happy? Might we please move on now?"

He storms past them all and for the first time since this dispute started, Niko is angry. She tells Crystal that wasn't okay, that it was cruel. And takes off after Edwin, leaving Charles and Crystal standing uselessly.

"I didn't know..." Neither remember who said that.

[jestericulating]

i feel like its my curse to fall in love with side characters but i feel like we dont appreciate mithara’s brilliance enough

like ur gonna look me in my eyes and tell me u willingly miss out on an incredibly written character just bc she doesn’t have as much content and you gotta murk a few twerps to get her. knock her out like the rest of us

like she’s such a fascinating woman. for someone so vindictive and evil she’s so willing to be immediately vulnerable with you and voice her concerns just because you decided to save her and she recognises that most people in their right mind would leave her for dead but You Don’t and she literally doesn’t waste a second expressing her gratitude. who else willingly does that without me having to wrench it out of them huh

and i think it’s so fascinating because she’s literally a commander And Also a noble and yet you can ask her about anything to do with home and her life before and she’ll tell you it all so willingly just because you asked. she doesn’t hide anything from you; everything is out in the open and straightforward from the get go. she’s a no nonsense woman and i deeply respect that

it could also just be a me thing but there’s something i really appreciate about her not really having any specifically romantic greetings. she’s stalwart and alert and ready to run into battle for you until you ask her for a kiss and then her voice softens and she’s sweet and teasing you and it just feels So Much More Natural you know?? i find some of the other romances dialogue to be a little too mushy or on the nose for my liking so minthara is hard Not to romance every time

even on a redemption durge run she doesn’t chastise or get upset with you for not taking the netherbrain for yourselves Even Though it was what she had been dying to do since she joined your party. she doesn’t even really need your apology, she’s just happy to be by your side more than anything and i think thats what makes her so Ride or Die because all that matters to her is you!!!!

even at the reunion party that she says she doesn’t particularly care to be at (i dont believe her for a second i KNOW she likes some of the companions deep down) she hangs around and waits just so that you can hang out with your friends because she wants you to be happy. she is a very ambitious and selfish woman and yet as soon as you get with her she pushes all of her selfishness aside Just to account for you. if you dont wanna do it then it won’t happen. end of story. she’s not gonna force you even if it’s literally all that she wants. yeah the compromise is that instead of doing the Massively Evil Thing you just do a Smaller Evil Thing but i dont ever play characters that Aren’t in some way morally dubious so whatever

i fear there is no one so fiercely loyal and supportive of any decision you make than minthara and i’ll die on that hill

[luthqrs]

"I need to go." ⇢ "I don't need space... I need you" CARLA CONNOR and LISA SWAIN in CORONATION STREET ↝ 07.10.2024 / 28.03.2025

[holyblanchett]

Thoughts......are being thunk.....

[waskojey]

"we need more complex female characters" and bitches could barely handle her!!!