#He looks to robin as a role model and she hates it

[searsage]

Al-an but in this Au architects are obscenely fragile and cannot under any circumstances get even a paper cut...but he wants to go scanning ghost leviathans in the void.

[ladyrosemone]

𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞

A misty memory A haunting face Is she a lost embrace?

𝘿𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙡𝙖𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙧!: This work contains nuances of emotional incest, if the subject makes you uncomfortable I recommend skipping this post for your comfort.

Fandom: DC

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The world works in specific ways.

There must be roles to follow, labels you can never shake off, appearances you have to play up whether you like it or not. There are protectors and victims, good and bad, one side or the other.

But what happens when you're in the middle of the line?

When your role is to be ambiguous, your label is to shine but your role is to disappear, you're neither a protector nor a victim, you're neither strong enough to protect nor weak enough to need protection, you're neither good nor bad, you're a zero, a smudge on the paint.

You're not memorable.

And you use that to your advantage.

Your family never loved you, that's the truth; Dad's a liar. Bruce Wayne can act so well it's ridiculous, but he never bothered to act with you. He didn't pretend to love you, but he didn't pretend to hate you either. You were a limbo between the two, solved by acting like you weren't even there, easy and simple. Anyway, that's what he did with your mother after having sex with her and discarded her the next morning, coming back only because…Why did he come back? You could have gone back to your maternal family, with whom you still have contact; living in the system is better than Wayne.

Your brothers? As many as there are days in the year, it almost seems like collecting them is a hobby (or his therapy, something he tries to remedy himself by using others—who said that?!), but no matter how many there are, you don't connect with any of them. Maybe because you arrived late, or because you're not a Robin, or an Oracle, or whatever exotic bird and mythological name they use to fight crime. Your sisters? They're…there, far away, not bothering to get close, and to their credit, you don't either, not anymore anyway, it's not worth it.

Alfred tries, it's sweet of him to do so, but you'll never be a priority for the old butler; you don't need bandages in the middle of the night, or coordinates for a cross-city chase, and God forbid you need empathetic comfort because someone else needs it more.

There are orphans, murderers, revived, a metahuman! Doesn't Bruce hate those?!

It would be funny if it weren't so sad, that your own father loves others more than you, how depressing; but it's not all bad, really, no, the lack of parental supervision gives you time to do many other things; you allow yourself to try everything, after all, Dad pays without a second thought.

So far, you're a singer, painter, dancer, soccer player, basketball player, gymnast, national champion in marine sciences and aerodynamic engineering, archer, model, diva, and all at no more than twenty years old, Take that, Barbie! That's what negligence, free time, and a billion-dollar legacy combined do.

Another result of this is attention; you crave attention like a moth to a flame. It's a need, your air, your most primal desire. Being adored has become your mission, your purpose. Being envied is what motivates you to wake up every morning at four o'clock to start your beauty and exfoliation routine. Being desired is literally what makes you endure every magazine photo and every clothing ad that appears in store windows all over Gotham.

But through all of that, the smallest, most hidden part of your psyche still yearns for his attention, his desires, his flattery, his adoration, his envy, his need.

𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜.

That makes you hate him—hate him and his children, who are part of his world, who don't have to fight for even a glance from him, much less his voice. Dick doesn't have to do a million things at once to be his pride and joy, Jason doesn't have to lose sleep over a compliment on his looks, Tim doesn't rack his brains to be considered a genius, Damian never needed to prove anything to be considered his equal in his eyes, Duke received everything as soon as he arrived, Barbara didn't have to beg for the mantle of Batgirl, Stephanie doesn't have to excel at everything to be recognized as one of his own, and Cassandra is his daughter, 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙚𝙧.

They're all something to him, they're all on that damn wall, in the family portrait he commissioned as a gift for them, one where you're not included, like in everything else. You don't even remember what the excuse was this time, or if it was Alfred who said it or your head made it up, but that painting is the rock that broke the glass.

And, ironically, the painting next to it is your perfect revenge.

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The changes began slowly, although if they had happened suddenly, they wouldn't have noticed.

An extra charge at a beauty salon, a clothing store, a jewelry store—nothing Bruce cared about or Alfred told him about.

Then the glances began.

A familiar figure passing at the end of the hallway as Bruce crossed, a nostalgic laugh that made Alfred nervous, a smell that made Bruce remember his past, details that made both men alert.

The alerts turned into paranoia when the images started coming in.

Bruce knew you were doing things outside the family: events, galas, parties, charity events, anything considered extravagant and spectacular. He always used that as a distraction, hiring anyone who looked like him from afar to appear on the covers and facilitating his double life as Bruce Wayne and Batman.

He's heartless, but he's useful, you're useful, from afar and without interfering in his vigilante life; at least one of his children will be free from the Bat curse.

And in he excuses, he never thought the curse would be any crueler.

Because the next time she sees you, the only gala he attends that you organized as a charity event, the only time he steps into the same space as you and sees you as the very image of her.

That he ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ.

Her bearing, her brightness, her smile and laugh, her presence—damn, you even seem to use the same style with a modern touch—it's like having her among the guests who aged like she might have.

And when you see him…

- Father!- your voice echoes in his head, and for a second he hears hers too - Bruce Wayne has arrived! -

He's a scared little boy.

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The world works in specific ways.

And when your role shifts from being a spectator to being a perpetrator, it feels good.

It shouldn't, morally, you shouldn't enjoy seeing him so disturbed, afraid to be around you but seeking you out more often. It should make you feel sorry to hear him cry every time you dress a certain way that you've seen in photos and he saw in person, you should stop when you noticed how he began to harass you more and more until you could feel him breathing down your neck.

But you couldn't. And the final straw was when he approached you first.

The encounter was strange, an awkward, tense atmosphere; you playing the piano in a living room far from the house, and he standing awkwardly in the living room doorway, listening without hearing and looking at you as if recalling a memory.

He approached awkwardly, slowly, as if each step were on a tightrope thousands of feet above the ground, and you were the solid floor on the other side. He didn't say much when he reached you. In his hands was a sheet of music that he held tightly; you could see the wrinkles in the old paper.

- Play it - he asks you, whispering, afraid of breaking whatever holds his sanity together.

That song, you learned from Alfred, who can no longer look you in the eye, was the first song Martha taught Bruce to play on the piano.

Martha Wayne, the grandmother you never met, the one you only saw in old portraits and hidden photos, the woman you bore an almost frightening resemblance to. You realized this on a day like today, a revelation that gave you the sickest idea you could have had, and despite everything morally correct, you went ahead with it.

Days at the salon to get her hair done, a manicure and pedicure elegant and classic, a new wardrobe with only clothes from the season she was alive, modernized enough to follow trends but still highlighting her style, jewelry she used to wear, the perfume she used (according to old newspapers in which she appears promoting it).

You became her in the present, the reincarnation of Martha Wayne.

Who would have thought that if you just dressed up a little more you'd look just like her?

The media adores you, those who lived during the Wayne matriarch's time desire you, women young and old envy you, and the spotlight always shines on you. And as if fate were gifting him to you, as if rewarding you for years of neglect and hatred that rotted you as a person, destiny hands you Bruce Wayne as a constant in your life.

Encounters at galas, parties, and gatherings, superficial and tense conversations whenever you meet at the mansion, calls in the middle of the night when he thinks you think he can't sleep, when in reality he's just overwhelmed by the loneliness of the night and the memories his mind combines of his mother and you, hours and hours in the music room where he asks begs you to play him the same piano score or the same lullaby, outings everywhere, accompanying you like a shadow.

The lines that were never defined have blurred, vanished, lost in a limbo that no one bothers to recapture; for you are content to have your father's full attention without seeking it, to snap your fingers and know he will come at your call, to go from being nothing to being his everything, to becoming the most twisted and sick form of you in his sole thought. And he is in a trance that no magic spell, or brainwashing, or catharsis, or anything like that can compare to; it is his never-healed trauma, the wound he sealed with fire opening again to raw, steaming, red flesh, which he uses to paint your lips the same shade his mother wore for social gatherings.

You want to know the most bizarre thing? That you've been referred to as "𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝚃𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚊 𝚆𝚊𝚢𝚗𝚎"

And you won't change any of that, because your hatred makes you pull on the chain that strangles Bruce, tightening it every time someone tries to intervene and pull him out of the emotional hole he's fallen into; your brothers and sisters have tried, you must admit. Family interventions, paid therapies, magical, intergalactic therapies—there's nothing they haven't done to return his father to normal.

They've all failed because Bruce doesn't want to go out, doesn't want to leave the last piece of his past, of the time when he was full and happy, where there wasn't night and revenge, he doesn't want to be an orphan again. Bruce was a mama's boy; his previous partners have a bit of his mother in them, and now that he's found his mother in a woman, no force on Earth or beyond will make him let her go.

Even if that person is his forgotten child.

What does Alfred do? Nothing. The poor man has been swallowed up by guilt and remorse; that through his carelessness he let this grow and spiral out of control, that he knew the damage abandonment was doing to you and still left you in the toxic shadows of the house. And now? The family has fragmented.

This is your victory. You have everything you want, your life is complete; while you paint a portrait of a vase, humming a lullaby, with your father dozing behind you, hugging you by the waist.

You have won.

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Hello again! Happy to be writing again! I'm working on the sequel to A Human's Touch, so look out for it soon!

[elephantshoetoo]

Answering Mi!evens' main "arguments" (if you can call them that) against Byler: 

1. "It was the 80's! It wouldn't be realistic. Being gay was illegal."

No, it wasn't. Not in North America, at least. The Stonewall riots were in 1969. The first Pride celebration in Indiana happened in 1987. Out-and-proud gay people existed. 

And so what if it was illegal? (Which it wasn't.) That doesn't mean they couldn't secretly be together in private. What do you think is going to happen with Robin and Vickie? They'll say, "Oh well. We like each other but it's illegal so I guess we'll just be gal pals" *shrug*? Because teenagers are so notoriously great at controlling their hormones.

And it's a show that has monsters and alternate dimensions and telekinetic powers and kids saving the world. Realism isn't exactly what they're going for.

2. "Mike is straight. He has a girlfriend."

Mike having a girlfriend proves absolutely nothing. It is extremely common for gay people to try to be straight before they have it all figured out, especially if there's outside pressure to do so. This was even moreso the case in the 80's, when information was far more limited and gay role models were scarce. Which is why REPRESENTATION MATTERS! 

Mike's character is drenched in queer coding and has never expressed interest in a girl other than El, who looked like a boy when they met. Even when the other boys (besides Will, of course) discuss attractive girls, Mike doesn't join in. Princess Daphne, Max, Phoebe Cates - nothing. (Even Max and El drooled over Ralph Macchio.) But he does make goo-goo eyes at Eddie and Angela's boyfriend (and Will, of course). He's had queer-coded conversations with his parents and with Will, his room and many of the sets around him are full of "signs" (quite literally), his main wardrobe piece in S4 has a giant triangle over the left pocket (gay symbolism, according to the costume designer and the Holocaust) and he's exhibited many odd behaviours that hint something else is going on beneath the surface. 

And then there's Finn saying Mike is just trying to stick to a "normal" path (read: straight path). Why ya feeling so abnormal, there, Mike? Huh? 

See, straight people... don't need to TRY to be straight. But Mike does. 

3. "El doesn't need to be alone to be happy. You just hate her and don't understand her arc."

Um. No. 

Sure, El doesn't need to be alone to be happy, but the way they've written her character, they've made it clear she is happier when she's independent and learning to be her own person, without some boy telling her what to do. She spent the first dozen years of her life locked up and controlled. What she needs now more than anything is autonomy.

"You just try things on until you find something that feels like you. Not Hopper. Not Mike. You." "There's more to life than stupid boys."

That is her arc - learning what she likes and making her own decisions, learning she is enough just being herself, learning she doesn't need to be popular or a superhero or someone's science experiment to be worthy of love, learning what love really means to her and becoming part of a family and support system who love her for her who she is. 

And so far, she has not been able to learn any of that with Mike. 

4. "The actors (Noah and Finn) would be so uncomfortable having to kiss each other. "

This has to be the dumbest argument I've ever heard. They're ACTORS! It's their job. It's what they signed up for. 

Do you think actors are "comfortable" playing rapists and murderers and bigoted shitbag racist homophobes? Probably not. But they do it if that's the role they took on. It's just part of the job.

Do you think Winona and David are "comfortable" making out when they're both married to other people? What about Joe and Natalia? Sadie and Caleb? Finn and Millie? Those are all fine even though they're not real couples and are probably not attracted to each other? Why, because they're straight? (Your homophobia is showing.) And do you really believe the actors' discomfort plays any part in determining the story the Duffers wish to tell? In 'Beyond Stranger Things' the Duffers laughed at Sadie and Caleb's discomfort and thought it was funny making them kiss at the Snow Ball when they were not expecting it and didn't really want to. So no, that's not going to stop them. 

Besides, Noah is gay and Finn is... well, we don't know, but he's kissed boys before for other roles and doesn't have a problem with it. 

5. "They've been building up Mileven for four seasons. They're not going to suddenly break them up just so Mike can date El's brother."

This one is infuriating. What show have these people been watching?! Mileven was established in season one. There's nothing to build up if it's already built. They've been tearing Mileven down bit by bit every season since - showing how incompatible they are, how poorly they communicate, how little they understand each other, how untruthful, unhealthy and unbalanced their relationship is. Even in areas where they do have common experiences they could bond over, like the bullying, they can't seem to connect. They don't make each other feel good about being themselves. 

But you know who they have been building up for four seasons?

Byler. 

And Will is SO much more to Mike than just "El's brother". That is his best friend since Kindergarten.  His first friend. The person he couldn't bear to lose in season one. Or two (or ever). The person he said Hawkins is not the same without. 

These two boys have been shown over and over to really understand each other, to really listen to each other, to get each other in a way no one else does, to cherish each other, to complement each other and always be what the other person needs. Sure, they fight sometimes, but they always work through it and become even closer as a result. They bring out the best in each other. According to the show itself, asking Will to be his friend is the best thing Mike has ever done, and Mike makes Will feel like he's not a mistake, like he's better for being different. Will is Mike's light, and Mike is Will's heart.*

They are soulmates, pure and simple. 

So, no it wouldn't be sudden or out of nowhere. It wouldn't be fan service or just to be woke and edgy. And it wouldn't need more time to be built up. It's been building up for four seasons already. It's where the show has always been heading and would be the only natural conclusion to the story they've been telling all along. 

💛💚💙

* @a70smatthew I added this line for you. 😊

[kheta]

Things I need in a Reverse Robins AU

-I don’t care what the order is but please let Duke and Jarro be adopted before Damian is taken in! I need Damian to be jealous of an alien starfish, my bones require it 😭

-Duke ans Damian make Jason and Dick’s lives so difficult… not as antagonist and purely because they snuck out and caused so much havock that Bruce now has a sixth sense for when his kids want to act up. They cannot even attempt stealth because Duke and Damian did it better.

-I want Duke and Damian to be those kid brothers that never got along. They used to regularly ‘spar’ (fist fight) but Dick, Cass and Jason don’t believe it because they get along so well now? Tim and Steph are obviously lying.

-A grown Dick Grayson being so mad because he went his whole life wanting to be taller than just one big brother, one! And he never gets it 🥰 (Him and Tim are the same height. He hates it w a passion) Technically he is taller than Jarro. But so is Ace and Tidus, that accounts for literally nothing.

-In contrasts to his big brother’s stealth and sneaking out shennanigans, Tim just straight up lies to Bruce when he wants to take off with YJ, vaguely saying their plans (baseball, trip to some histprical landmark, chilling on Bart’s new ride) So while Bruce blames Duke and Dami for his greys, he says that Tim is the only reason he isn’t fully grey because he’s so responsible and considerate and always tells Bruce everything. (Tim tells Bruce exactly three things, two are half-truths and one is the boldest lie in town 😇 Bruce is nonethewiser.)

-Running off of that, I want Tim to be the sneaky middle child always in chaos, but I want Dami to know this and point it out to Bruce and gst shut down (like Candace Flynn levels of bad)

-Dick is spoilt by his many older siblings. He knows and takes advantage. I’m talking like 18yo Dick Grayson showing up at 22yo Jason’s place when Jason is at College and Jason returns home to find his little brother wearing his robe, eating hia cereal and asking if he can borrow Jay’s car because Bruce is hiding his keys until Dick actually gets a drivers license, which he doesn’t need because he hardly ever drives anyway 🙄😒 Jason tells him to fuck off, kicks him for not throwing thw empty cereal box away and asks where tf he thinks he’s off to anyway??????

-I want Cass to be a bratty younger sister, but only to Jason. She’s happy to hangout and cherishes her time with all her brothers, but she terrorises Jason. Purposefully is quieter when walking near him to frighten him, steals every comfy, bright hoodie he owns, wiggles into his bed and leaves her stuff for him to pick up, clean. She happily helps with chores until Jason asks and suddenly, she did not hear him, she was ‘busy, calm down grumpy.’ I want her looking at his school work and making faces at him if he tries to help her. I want her to want nothing more than to bite Jason, but also have him be her secret favourite brother. I need them to be best friends but the sort who will sell each other out for a single corn chip.

-Dick convinces Damian to help him steal an elephant. If Damian weren’t so weak for his baby brother he’d think about how even tge manor is not large enough to comfortably house an elephant. Duke isn’t completely sure it’s a good idea, but he trusts his brother’s to be smart enough to think this through ☺️ (they have not and will not think the logistics of owning an elephant through) Tim is fully aware this is a bad plan, he’s just even worse at saying no to Dick 💀 Steph is so mad that she has to be the voice of reason among these idiots 😒

-Tim dropping out of High-school actually leads to a huge fight lol. Bc Duke and Damian have Masters and Jason is looking into Ivy Leagues and Cass adores you Tim you need to be a role model 😠 Tim moves to San Francisco and doesn’t talk to Bruce for months after that fight. He still regularly contacts his siblings though.

-Personally don’t love Jason dying in Reverse Robin AU’s, but you know if Joker killed him at 15 he’d be dead in two weeks tops. Oh you want to kill the baby brother of a trqined assassin and Tim, one bad hour away from villany, Drake-Wayne? You think Duke would stop them? Dick? You think wrong. Dick might even try to jump ahead of the line. Cass is perfectly happy to shut her eyes and pretend she cannot see her brothers planning 🫢 The Joker would die a slow and painful death. Steph and Duje would run Batman distraction. (Bruce actually has a support network and two kids younger than Jason who are grieving. He’d need to be a parent and help them with their grief. He’ll probably be shit at it, but he’d still need to try.)

-When Steph starts college she occasionally visits the manor, liberally fills her bag with spare socks, new towels and non-perishables. Alfred doesn’t mind. Bruce does, but only because he’s more than willing to buy it for her and she will kick him if he even glances at any of his credit cards or bank accounts while she is near.

- Barbara probably has a crush on Steph and Tim. Like not a serious, I want a romantic relationship crush. But like ‘Steph is so strong and pretty and she’s so smart Dick, she wants to be a Doctor that’s so cool!’ And Tim is that weird crush you can’t describe. Like Matthew Gray-Gubler. He looks sorta like a raccon and an addict, but he’s weirdly handsome and can work a computer like no one else, ‘isn’t he so smart Dick?’ Dick doesn’t know whether to be jealous or to laugh at her because. Like. Really??? That’s who you think is cute from all my amazing big brothers ans sisters?

-Dick, as youngest brother, probably has the most eclectic music taste. He listens to classical, trap music, K-Pop, scremo, RnB, showtunes. Just all genres. He doesn’t love all genres, bit he k ows enough to have a super weird road trip playlist.

-Dick also always has to deal with his friends, civvie and otherwise, having crushes on his siblings.

-Jarro barely spends holidays with the family, but he gets presents put aside for him and is the most patient, most fun big brother of the batfam. Damian still hates him, but will begrudgingly buy him gifts and invite him to family events because unfortunately, Jarro is his sibling. -Because he's never around, Jarro is the favourite older sibling, with Jason, Cass and Dick always making him projects from school. Duke, Dami and Tim see Jarro more, since they love going to see the JL or going to space and don't care that Bruce disapproves. They will either lie to Bruce or sneak out or just leave the manor 'Because I am a grown ass adult B, you can't ground me.' Steph does not like space or the JL half as much and is more busy studying/working than the other three losers. (affectionate)

-Gotham villains are in shock when, after having highly predictable vigilantes who just come in through the front/back door (Duke and Damian) they are faced with vigilantes who will in fact bazooka an entry way open (Jason and Cass)

[kitalphahart]

Stardew Bachelor/ette headcanons

Some may actually be canon? Or quasi-canon. Keep in mind that my character is like me in the aspect of not choosing any of them to marry. I might do Krobus as a roommate, but that's about it

Leah: was the newest arrival until the farmer showed up. Wasn't looking for a relationship after the whole fiasco with Kel, and generally keeps to herself. Is somewhat closr to Robin due to both working with wood, albeit in different ways, and Elliot for being the only other person in the town who doesn't have a connection to someone who is or was part of it. As a result, she's a stranger to lost the townsfolk

Maru: would be an anxious wreck if she weren't medicated. Tried to get close to her half-brother all the time as a kid, but slowly stopped as he kept pushing her away. She does wish they could connect, though she doesn't know how or where to start. She enjoys working with Harvey, but outside work she can't really stand him. Would call him a weenie if she used that sort of language

Haley: is materialistic because that's how her parents spoiled her to hide their not-that-great parenting. Secretly she wishes she wasn't like that, but feels she can't truly change it. Besides, she occasionally gets pretty clothes from her parents and she can't not wear them, even if only once. Even if they are the wrong size, which they usually are. Got into photography due to her sister gifting her a cheap Polaroid camera

Emily: is into mysticism out of spite against her parents. Makes her own clothes out of spite as well. She hates her parents, but would never say so. Sandy is an ex, the two realized they are better as friends than dating, which is why they're still on good terms. Some people don't believe they broke up, and if the Farmer marries her, Sandy makes them a throuple. She doesn't like Clint but gets the feeling that if she rejects him he'll go psycho stalker

Abigail: is actually really good at using a sword. Marlon has given her lessons in secret, and sees her as an excellent apprentice. If only her father wasn't such a--. Forced by her mother to take flute lessons at first, but ended up enjoying them. If she crosses paths with the Farmer heading to the mines, she wants to join. Even if the monsters do scare her. Once she dyed her hair purple, not only did it not fade, nothing else sticks. Even stripping the color has it come back the next morning

Penny: wants a large family with someone loyal to her so she can raise her kids right, not the way she was raised. An excellent teacher for young kids, the main thing holding her back from being properly educated and certified to teach is her mother's drinking habits. She wishes she lived somewhere she could feel pride, but instead has the short stick and has to make do. She took up reading to get away from her negligent father and later abusive mother. Educating others was the next step in her mind, and she's doing what she can with what she has. The war doesn't make getting new textbooks easy, however

Sam: does not know how to act now that his dad is back. He's been Man of the House for so long, and now he's not. Focused on making a band and his guitar to compensate. Is actually good at composing music, but his aimless wandering for band type and music keeps him from getting anywhere. He ends up making music for kid's shows because he gets some variety, at least. Is aware that Vincent looks up to him and tries to be a good role model. Barring the skateboarding. He's toned it down a lot since his brother was born, but he's not above stunts

Sebastian: pushed his half-sister away first out of anger that him mom remarried, then because she's a girl and cooties, and now doesn't know how to fix the rift. Has depression, but it shows as isolation. He's seen how Shane gets and does not want to be like that. Better to stay in his room all day. A natural night owl, he chafes at daytime hours. His mom doesn't understand, and his step-father certainly won't. Speaking of, the two only interact as necessary. Sebby does not like him, and made it clear as a kid, pushing him away like he did Maru. This rift he feels is far too late to fix, and doesn't care (he claims) to fix it

Elliott: he has fallen for Leah, but won't admit it. Not after hearing about her ex and how they affected her. While he loves the idea of being the knight in shining armor rescuing her, he's too shy to do so. Even so, he is striking up a friendship with her because her sculptures are beautiful to him, and give him ideas for his novel. He does wish he could buy one, though. Or be gifted one. Is close to Willy as well. Proximity helps, but he's also fascinated by the stories the fisher has to tell. Even if some have been repeated and exaggerated over retellings

Harvey: actually had a hard time keeping up with a lot of stuff in his clinic until he hired Maru. He knows she's the reason the place stays afloat, and does all he can to keep her. In a professional manner, he loves her. In a personal manner, he has respect for her, but does not see her as a potential romantic interest. Has a late girlfriend who died from an incurable disease back in high school, motivating him to become a doctor after his fear of heights and bad eyes kept him from aviation. He won't ever admit it, but he's happy where he's at. Even if his diet is shit. Takes pride in his 'stashe

Shane: despite being Jas' godfather, he forgets about her a lot, especially when drunk. Losing his friends aka her parents, an injury keeping him from remaining in sports, and losing his dreams turned him to drinking to cope, and now he's in a rut he can't get out of. Not without help, anyway. Marnie is worried about him, and also concerned as to how he got her white and brown chickens to start popping out blue ones. What's next, pink chickens??? Constantly has stubble because the doesn't remember to shave. Or he does but since he uses an electric razor, forgets to plug it in, turn it on, or otherwise have it operate

Alex: knows he washed up, won't admit to it. His primary reason for not actually going pro and only bragging about it is because he doesn't want to leave his grandparents behind to find for themselves. He misses his mother every day, though he believes he cannot admit to it. He is a man, after all. Men don't miss people. Or cry. Under his manly man persona is a sensitive man, in touch with his emotions, but he doesn't want to admit that

Krobus: learned to talk from Gil after being found as an orphaned shadow beast. While he's reconnected to his people, he still feels different from them, having been raised by a human. He got his name after his kin discovered his upbringing, hoping that he can bring peace to their kind, as not all shadow beasts are monsters. Sadly, too many are interested in fighting to make things work

[thebat-musicman]

The Playlist™

My 12 hour Batfam playlist (with repeating songs!)

The repeating version has 200 songs and is 12 hours. Non repeating has 167 songs and is 9 hours and 54 minutes.

I am so sorry to whatever poor souls are reading this just trying to find good songs for their faves

@batfambrainrotbeloved it’s done

The bat-playlist from hell is under the cut

Alfred

Be our guest

Let it be

Sweet caroline

You are my sunshine

God is really real

Istanbul (not Constantinople)

50 ways to say goodbye (him faking Bruce’s death when he went training)

What was I made for

No time to die

James Bond theme

I got you

Child of Mine

Little Lion man

You’ll be in my heart

Never grow up

Edelweiss

Baby mine

Friend like me

My heart will go on

Bruce

Never grow up

Everything has changed

I hate it here

I look in people’s windows

imgonnagetyouback

Karma (AJR)

Humpty Dumpty

Inertia

Two birds

Cat’s in the cradle

Song for Orphans

Tears in heaven

Heart of stone

Robin

Whatever it takes

ocean eyes

Migraine

I’ll make a man out of you

Under the Sea

Beautiful Boy (darling boy)

Babs

The story of us

Just a girl

Clara Bow

Role Models

Break my face

The DJ is crying for help

Little miss perfect

She used to be mine

Mastermind

Pretty distraction

So high school

How did it end

Fight song

You should see me in a crown

The man

Runs the world (girls)

I bet you think about me

Inertia

Ours

Part of your world

Dick

I can do it with a broken heart

Touchy feely fool

Never grow up

The Bolter

Surface Pressure

You’re on your own, kid

Because of you

Karma (AJR)

Way less sad

Perfect (simple plan)

Father of mine

This is me trying

Count on me

The Greatest Show

No way

Mr. Perfectly fine

Dancing Queen

Show and Tell

How far I’ll go

Used to be young

Cass

Who’s afraid of little old me

Cassandra

The Albatross

Father of mine

You’re on your own, kid

Heart of stone

Fight song

Everybody wants to rule the world

She used to be mine

Family Line

Because of you

Roar

You should see me in a crown

I won’t

When will my life begin

The prophecy

I hate it here

Speechless

I’ve got a dream

Blackbird

Jason

The Prophecy

Mr. Perfectly fine

Better than Revenge

I did something bad

My tears ricochet

Vigilante shit

You’re gonna go far, kid

Time of dying

Deja vu

good 4 u

Because of you

Father of mine

These boots were made for walking

Fuck you

One way or another

Bang! Pow! Boom!

Be prepared

One jump ahead

Vampire

I think I’m gonna like it here (baby jason needs a song)

Steph

Record Player

Turning out Pt. II

The Dumb Song

Just a girl

Cardigan

The Man

But daddy I love him

the manuscript

Guilty as Sin?

Father of mine

Dead!

Teenagers

You’re on your own, kid

Mr. Perfectly Fine

High school sweethearts

Drama Club

My Play

Devil Town

This is love (air traffic controller)

I won’t say (I’m in love)

Tim

Ur gonna wish u believed me

Yes I’m a mess

Karma (AJR)

Mastermind

Don’t blame me

Fool

Wow, I’m not crazy

Humpty Dumpty

Good 4 u

Pretender (Acoustic)

Mister Cellophane

Come hang out

Let the games begin

Heart of stone

brutal

Deja vu

Every breath you take

The sound of silence

Go the distance

Viva La Vida

Duke

Here comes the sun

Walking on sunshine

I see the light

How do I say goodbye

The Prophecy

Turning out

Sunshine lollipops and rainbows

Teenagers

Our song

Demons

I’m still standing

Waiting on a miracle

I’m not famous

Paper rings

We didn’t start the fire

Everybody dies

What was I made for

I’ll follow the sun

Sunflower

Into the Unknown

Damian

Insane

Oh no!

Surface Pressure

Control

The good part

Role models

Mother knows best

Bad guy

What else can I do

Devil Town

Bones

Rät

Maniac

Losing my religion

(Don’t fear) The Reaper

Heathens

Pumped up kicks

Go the distance

A whole new world

I just can’t wait to be king

[wolfjackle-creates]

Bring Me Home Arc 2 Part 13

Happy Wednesday! This arc is over 20k already. How many of you didn't realize that? I've got a longer segment for you this week. There wasn't really a good place to end it and this brings us to the end of the scene. If you like banter, this segment is for you.

Story Summary: Tim and Danny are both neglected by parents who care more about their work than their families. They deal with this by spending too much time online and find each other playing MMORPGs. They keep up their friendship as Tim becomes Robin and Danny becomes Phantom and don't bother keeping secrets from each other.

First, Previous

Word Count: 2.2k

-----

Jeremy couldn’t help but add, “Be sure to mention us to your dad, Timothy. It’s been ages since we’ve last been able to meet at a gala!”

“Yes, sir,” said Tim. Not that he’d be following through. Assholes. Danny pushed him up a wide staircase that framed the entranceway to get to the second floor.

“Exactly like my parents,” he told Sam.

“I swear, if I didn’t have Gradma Ida, I’d go insane. My room’s this way.”

Sam’s room was so large that not only did she have a double bed and vanity, but also a couch and enough cushions that they were all able to spread out comfortably. Tim and Danny took beanbag chairs next to each other. His friends took the couch while Tucker took a space on the floor and promptly pulled out a laptop and two PDAs. Sam settled in a rocking chair.

Tim laid out the goodies they’d gotten from the corner store. “We brought snacks.”

Sam grabbed a bag of chips. “Thanks. So what’s on the agenda for the night?”

Cassie asked, “Is there anything we can do about the ghosts?”

Danny buried his face in his hands. “I don’t know. I can’t get a close enough read on them to see where any are. And there’s so many that even if I knock one out of a human, another would just take it’s place.”

“Any idea what they might be after?” asked Tim. “The ones last night were wearing uniforms like police officers. And we saw the news report from your school earlier. That one looked like a werewolf.”

“He was wearing a collar,” added Bart. “And his outfit also appeared to be a uniform of some sort, though not a police one.”

All of them stared at Bart.

“You don’t think he was there willingly,” said Sam.

Bart shrugged. “Didn’t look that way to me.”

Danny groaned and leaned over until he was resting his head on Tim’s shoulder. “What am I supposed to do with that? What do I do if he’s not here to attack the town?”

Tim wrapped his arm around Danny to hold him steady. “How much sleep were you able to get between last night and now?”

“Unno,” mumbled Danny. “Three, four hours?”

Cassie clicked her tongue at him. “How about you get some rest tonight and we can figure it out tomorrow. We’ll take the night in shifts and if there’s a large-scale attack again, we’ll wake you up.”

Tim sighed. “Much as I hate to admit it, Cassie’s right. You need to sleep.”

Danny snorted into his neck and Tim couldn’t help the way his cheeks heated at the feel of his breath. “Like you’re one to talk.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tim rolled his eyes. “We all know I’m not a good role model. Do as Alfred says, not as I do.”

“Wayne family moto!” Conner teased. Tim gave him the finger.

“Just one thing to do first,” said Bart.

“Yeah,” added Tucker. “I need to fix up Conner’s phone.”

“Two things, then,” amended Bart.

“What’s the other thing?” asked Sam. “I feel like I’m out of the loop.”

Cassie leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. “The Fentons gave us a tour of the lab. We want to arrange a system to get Danny out of Amity if things go bad.”

Tim noted how both Tucker and Sam tensed and exchanged a look. Then Sam nodded. “We’re in. And since you are who you are, which, Danny, we will be talking about how you kept Justice League connections from us later, we’ll trust you to be able to do it.”

“Don’t be mad at him,” protested Tim. “I made him promise to keep my secrets. It wasn’t safe for him to discuss it.”

Tucker waved a hand in the air. “We understand. Doesn’t mean we’re not frustrated with him. Don’t worry about it, though. Your secret’s safe with us.”

Tim bit his lip. “Please. It’s vitally important for my family’s safety that nothing gets out.”

Conner snorted. “Plus Batman would murder you dead if he found out you let anything slip.”

Tim groaned. “Don’t remind me. I’ll have so much paperwork. And would probably be benched for forever.”

Bart laughed and flicked a chip at him. “We’d kidnap you and help you prepare a new hero identity!”

With Danny still leaning on him, Tim couldn’t even catch the projectile and it hit him on the forehead. “I’ll take you up on that if I ever do get benched permanently.”

Sam cleared her throat. “As amusing as this all is, what’s the plan with Danny?”

Danny groaned, but didn’t move. “I don’t need one, guys. It’s not as bad as you think.”

Bart snorted. “Dude, your parents showed us an iron maiden.”

Danny shook his head. “Dad’s the only one who’s been shut up in that. And that was for threatening me and Jazz with it.”

“Um… what?” asked Cassie. “Why does everything you say make me feel more concerned?”

Tucker spoke around a mouthful of jerky. “Because his parents are mad scientists.”

Sam nodded. “No one lives in the houses on either side of his. And the value of every building on the street has plummeted due to proximity.”

Cassie shook her head. “How the hell have they been allowed to do all that? And why haven’t their driver’s licenses been revoked? We saw how they drove that tank of theirs.”

Tucker snorted. “No cop or city official is brave enough to go up to Jack ‘I can run through brick walls’ Fenton and tell him he’s not allowed to do something.”

Sam laughed. “And even if they were, Maddie Fenton has a blackbelt and will hold a grudge.”

“Last night it also seemed like she knows her way around that arsenal she’s got,” said Tim.

“Yeah,” said Danny. “Mom’s the one you’ve got to watch out for when my parents go on the hunt.”

“Okay.” Tim was already thinking up ways to neutralize them. “Us four should be able to handle them. What about Jazz? Is she someone we’d have to worry about?”

Danny pushed himself up and made sure Tim could see him rolling his eyes. “Jazz would never do anything to hurt me.” It was clear Danny believed his statement completely. And, honestly? After all the stories Danny’d told him and meeting Jazz in person, Tim was inclined to believe him. Though Danny wasn’t done. “And my parents would stop if they had any idea I was Phantom.”

Neither Tim nor Danny was as certain about that statement. Glancing around, everyone else seemed to have the same doubts.

“Well,” said Tim. “You know me. And I’ve told you about B. ‘Backup plans’ is my middle name. I’ll feel more comfortable if we have one.”

“Fine.” Danny flopped over until he was laying across Tim’s lap. “But don’t expect me to help.”

Now it was Tim’s turn to roll his eyes, but his fingers were gentle as they brushed through Danny’s hair. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. So, it’s Maddie we’ll have to outsmart. I doubt Jack’s strength is any match for Conner or Cassie.”

“I can get you access to the Fenton house,” said Tucker gesturing to his laptop. “Even if they activate the home defense system.”

Tim nodded. “Thanks. I’ll also get you communicators so you can reach me in case of an emergency.”

“Perfect,” said Sam. “We’ve each other’s cell numbers, too.”

“Yep,” said Tim. “But phones should only be used for civilian identities. If you need the help of heroes, please use the communicators. It’s best to keep things as separate as possible.”

Conner nudged Tim’s foot with his own. “Yep. Tim here won’t let us refer to him by name when he’s in costume. Even if we’re all alone in our own base behind two dozen layers of security.”

“Need I remind you who trained me?”

Cassie laughed. “He’s even worse. You should hear my aunt go on about him.”

Tucker was watching them with interest. “Who’s your aunt?”

Bart disappeared from his spot only to reappear next to Tucker to whisper in his ear.

Tucker’s eyes widened and he stared at Cassie in wonder. “That is so cool! Could you get me an autograph?”

Cassie laughed. “Why so surprised? You know who I am. Did you think I wouldn’t know her?”

Tucker blushed. “Yeah, well. Excuse me for being distracted by the ghost invasion we’re dealing with.”

Tim cleared his throat. “I think we’re getting off topic. Now, we have a way into the Fenton house. Tucker, could you get us all the way into the lab?”

“Easily. I’m fully in all their systems and they’ve no idea.”

“How will we know he’s in trouble?” asked Bart.

Tim bit his lip. “Danny and I already have a system in place where if we don’t hear from each other within seven days without prior warning, we reach out to someone. For me, it’s B’s butler. For him, it’s you Tucker.” He nudged Danny only to realize he had passed out his lap. Tim couldn’t help the fond smile he gave and shook his head. “Tomorrow I’ll propose decreasing that to three or four days.”

Conner nodded. “If none of us hear from one of you for more than four days, we’ll come. Probably me, Bart, or Cassie since we can travel faster.”

Tim grimaced, but nodded. Sometimes it really sucked being the only baseline human in the group.

Bart gave a thumbs up. “I can usually be somewhere in minutes if I’m not tied up doing something else!”

Sam looked them over critically. “You know he’s gonna insist that goes both ways. If you guys don’t check in, he’ll go to you if he can.”

Tucker began typing away on his laptop. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner. I’m setting up alerts on the Fenton lab. If they start recording any experiments on an actual ghost, I’ll get a notification. If there’s any indication it’s Phantom, I can have the alert forwarded to you.”

Tim nodded. “Good. Do that.” He looked at his team. “We’ve seen the Fenton’s weapons and some of their fighting skills by now. I don’t think we’ll have any issues subduing them if necessary.”

“Nah,” agreed Cassie. “We can handle them.”

Back to Sam and Tucker, Tim asked, “Do we know what their weapons can do to humans? What risks they pose?”

Sam grimaced. “The small blasters are fine. But some of the bigger weapons? Like the bazooka or the missiles? Those have caused damage to the roads and buildings beyond what the ghosts do.”

“Have there been any casualties?” asked Cassie.

Tucker shook his head. “No. Thank God. It’s all been property damage so far.”

Sam nudged him. “Not quite. You’re forgetting Wes’s brother. Jack broke his arm two weeks ago when he shot at the Box Ghost and knocked over the pile of bricks that was being used to rebuild Mr. Nguyen’s store.”

“Ugh, right. I think I was trying to block that debacle from my mind.”

Tim sighed and shook his head. “I knew it was bad, but Danny really downplayed it.”

Sam shrugged. “Yeah, well, this is life in Amity right now.”

“I suppose so.” Tim looked down at Danny who was frowning even in his sleep. “I think I’m gonna get him in a bed. Where will we be sleeping?”

“Probably a good idea,” agreed Sam. “Do you want to share a room?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind. We haven’t had any one-on-one time yet. Which is a shame for our first in-person meeting!” Tim laughed and ignored the looks his friends were shooting him as well as the grins Sam and Tucker were exchanging. “Though with our lives, I should’ve expected something like this rather than a purely civilian meeting.”

Sam laughed. “Yeah, probably. This is about par for the course for us. Take the room across the hall. If you need the bathroom, if you exit my room, turn left and it’s two doors down on this side of the hall.”

Tim shifted so he could lift Danny up. Despite the shuffling, Danny didn’t open his eyes, though he did grumble indistinct protests.

“Just getting you in a bed,” said Tim.

Conner grabbed the bag that had their belongings in it and opened the doors for Tim. While Tim settled Danny in the bed, even having to remove shoes and socks, Conner separated their things so he would have everything he needed.

“Thanks, Kon.”

“Anytime, Tim. Get some rest yourself, okay?”

Tim huffed a laugh. “Sleep is for the weak.”

Conner shook his head. “You say that and yet at the end of basically every mission, you pass out for twelve hours and are useless for two days.”

Tim stuck out his tongue. “I do have homework to do. And I want to keep my eye on the local news channels. And I need to check in with Bruce again before he flips. Let me know when your phone is working?”

“Will do. See you tomorrow.”

“Night.”

-----

Next

So! They now have a working system for how to find out if Danny's in trouble and to get him out. Hopefully they won't have to use it! (I mean, we all know where this is going. I presume you've all read the original prompt and fill that started this mess.)

Also, thanks to a comment on the last post, I wanted to clarify the relationships in this fic. If you've gotten Core Four (Tim/Kon/Cassie/Bart) vibes from this... Yeah. You did. If you've gotten Everlasting Trio (Danny/Sam/Tucker) vibes from this... Yeah. You did. I'm going to write those groups as a sorta QPR. Eventually, we will have romantic Danny/Tim (hence I've been tagging this Dead Tired) on top of those QPRs, but that won't really happen for a while. First Danny will date Val and Tim will date Steph. Danny will have another relationship, too, that I'm keeping secret for now. None of those are likely to get any page time as I am planning a time skip after this arc. But they will be referenced by characters. The actual Danny/Tim won't happen until after the rescue scene from the original fill. (Which I'm sure you can imagine will be changed quite drastically now that all these characters know each other.)

I no longer do tag lists, but if you head to the Subscription Post, you can set up notifications for when this updates!

[bats-and-birds-24]

Chapter 11:

Tim silently wept, as Talia took him to his room. He knew that Jason had no reason to like him, but to think that he hated Batman and didn’t want him to be Robin at all broke him. In his mind’s eye, he could still see Jason’s face simmering with rage. In that moment, he looked nothing at all like the blazingly energetic kid Tim used to idolize.

Talia steered him to the bed and pulled up a chair next to him. 

In between his quiet sobs, all he could get out was, “Why did he get so mad?”

Talia collected herself and began to explain, "That is complicated child, it is a mix of many separate factors, such as the pit rage, an after effect of his resurrection, and then there are Jason’s own unresolved feelings on being Robin.”

As Tim’s tears began to dry and frustration faded, his curiosity was roused, “Are you saying that Jason didn’t want to be Robin?”

“Not quite,” Talia scooted closer to him, “He loved being Robin, but he also loved just having a roof over his head, food on the table, and access to an education. The fact that he was able to help others in his situation was just an added benefit. He was Bruce’s son first, and Robin second.”

As Tim took in the information, he asked, “So that’s why he thinks Bruce used him. He assumed Bruce would treat him like his son, but after he died, he thought he was just Robin to him, a tool.”

Talia smiled, Tim was quick on the uptake, she could see why Bruce chose him to be the next Robin. “Bruce is brilliant, stubborn, skilled, and desperately wants to do good in the world. For all his strengths,  he was never good at understanding people. He just saw that being Robin helped Richard, and assumed that it would do the same for Jason, despite their different temperaments and needs.”

Tim could hardly believe what he was hearing, “Are you saying that Jason shouldn’t have been Robin?” Jason suited the role of Robin perfectly, however, his mind supplied, maybe the role didn’t suit him.

Talia continued, “No, Jason was fated to be Robin. The problem arises from the fact that Bruce treated Jason’s Robin the same way he treated Dick’s Robin. He knew that he would never replace John Grayson in Dick’s life, and treated him as such, but for Jason, both Bruce and Batman were his father. It’s why Dick wouldn’t have been tricked by Sheila, not because he was a better Robin, but because his parents death had shattered his trust in adults. It took Bruce a long time to rebuild that trust, to help him heal, he would have left Sheila in some other capable hands and left at the first sign of trouble. Jason’s faith in humanity was restored when he was taken in by Bruce, so he had no reason to trust that his own so-called ‘mother’ would sell him out to the Joker. Jason’s trust was destroyed after he was brought back from his death.”

Tim nodded mutely. It made perfect sense, Dick saw Robin as a way to get back the crime that had caused the loss of his parents, much like Bruce did, Jason saw Robin as a way to free people from crime. If only Bruce had understood this!

Talia stood up, “Young detective, I’ll be taking my leaving now, I hope you understand where Jason is coming from.”

Tim followed her lead and stood up as well, “Yes, of course, but, could you do me a favor? Can you please tell Jason that I didn’t mean to upset him?” He glanced up at Talia, pleading silently.

She quirked a smile, “I think Jason already knows that, but I’ll make sure to reiterate it.”

Tim gave her a faint smile as she left the room, “Thank You.”

Jason winced at the memory of  meeting Tim for the first time. He looked so excited and hopeful, he had idolized him. All that was crushed because of Jason’s jealousy and spite. Despite this, he still believed that he was right, Bruce was just using the kid to be Robin, and once he’s killed, or broken in some way, he’ll just cast him aside to get a newer model. A part of him bitterly thinks that this must be how Dick felt when he became Robin.

He was wallowing in his emotions when he heard a knock at the door. He already had a feeling as to who it was. 

Talia’s smile from her conversation with Tim vanished when she saw Jason’s state. His eyes were red and puffy, tear tracks were visible on his face and his lips were pressed into a thin line.

“Come here habibi.” She pulled Jason close to him. She could feel Jason whisper into her shoulder, “Why didn’t he learn anything?”

Talia pulls them apart, “Oh, child, but he did change.” Jason gave her a choked laugh, “From what I’ve heard, not for the better.” 

She sighed, “That’s true, but to clarify some of your previous doubts, Bruce didn’t manipulate Tim into becoming Robin. He did that on his own.”

Jason frowned at that, “You can’t be serious, I have my fair share of issues with B, but Tim couldn’t have stayed under the radar from him. Especially not if Tim was telling the truth about following us around since he was a child.”

She sat down on a nearby ottoman and began to explain, “That’s what I thought as well, until I began to do my own research. Tim was only ever caught by Bruce once, and following the event, there was a gap of two months where he stopped following you two. When he started stalking you again, he wasn’t caught. I believe that this is because he used his time off to study Bruce’s patterns of observation and used it to stay off his radar.”

Jason was shocked speechless when he heard that. An ugly, pit tainted part of him sneered, “It seems that even at your best, he was still better than you.” As his thoughts swirled in his mind, there was nothing but silence.

Talia got up and prepared to leave when she heard Jason’s shaky voice, “Talia, can, can you tell Tim that I’m sorry for lashing out at him? I,I didn’t mean to…” he trailed off.

A gentle smile graced Talia’s face, “I’ll be sure to pass the message onto him.”

Jason muttered a thanks and laid back down, trying to push away the green seeping into his vision. He was so, so tired.

[insufferable-protagonist-poll]

Propaganda why Anakin Skywalker is insufferable:

It's less about his character and more about the way ppl talk about him and narrative around him in a lot of current stuff. The way everyone try to bend over backwards to prove how his reasons to turn Darth Vader were somehow noble or good when almost every single bad guy in Star Wars (expect Palpatine and that guy who taught him) have much more sympathetic history and reasons and how he's not a bad person bc he cried a few times while doing atrocities. And how everyone else gets the blame for all his shortcomings ('they did it but never taught him!!!' -he literally parrotos this same lessons to his own student, it's obvious he knows better but chooses to not apply to himself anything that is slightly uncomfortable to him). Like, I love characters being genuinely not good people as much as a next guy but let's not pretend they're good people actually

the guy has zero critical thinking skills, he whines about everything all the time. I love him, but he’s awful to listen to. THIS BITCH. I HATE HIM. NO CRITICAL THINKING. NO SELF AWARENESS. WHINY MURDEROUS ASSHOLE. LIKE SERIOUSLY. He's a JEDI. LIKE. THEY HAVE HISTORY CLASSES!!!! He should have KNOWNNNNNN that when he had prophetic dreams they're not necessarily true!!!!! Also like. In the Star Wars universe, do Jedi just not have imaginations that can create NORMAL dreams when they sleep??? Do Jedi just not usually dream??? If he hadn't gotten paranoid from the dreams of Padme dying in childbirth

BILLIONS OF LIVES WOULD HAVE BEEN SAVED. FOR THAT MATTER, if you're gonna have A SUPER ILLEGAL SUPER SECRET MARRIAGE, wouldn't you, I don't know, USE PROTECTION SO THAT YOUR WIFE WHO IS SECRETLY AND ILLEGALLY MARRIED DOESN'T GET PREGANANANT????? LIKE LOOK I LOVE LUKE AND LEIA MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF BUT THEIR PARENTS WERE SO FUCKING STUPID. ANAKIN SKYWALKER HATES CONDOMS BECAUSE THEY DONT FEEL AS GOOD I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. Man is an IDIOT. How can you have had a role model and father figure like Obi-Wan for most of your fucking life and grow up to do the shitty, STUPID things Anakin did. Ok this is way too long I'm sorry but I love Obi-Wan so much and Anakin ruined his fucking life and hes just such a little DICK. MURDERED A WHOLE VILLAGE OF SAND PEOPLE. AND DOZENS IF NOT HUNDREDS OF CHILDRENNNNNNNN. ANGSTY WHINY TEENAGER. FUCK HIMMMMMMM

Yes he was probably directed to act that way but the way his lines were written did not help

Propaganda why Tim Jackson Drake is insufferable:

oh man. i've had enough of this duckboy (as the protag, he's tolerable in yj and stuff.) like when tim is the protag every character in the story becomes Worse. lady shiva gets nerfed. steph is turned into jealous hormonal catfight girl. helena is dumbified and too womanly to function (they have a nice dynamic as long as tim isn't the protag). cassie and tim were great in yj98, but as soon as he is The Protag then she is his best friend's girlfriend and they're barely friends anymore. cass is turned into a rapist. dick is turned into a lazy mediocre robin. jason turns into fucky wucky dumb brute yaoi stalker boyfriend who is suddenly obsessed with tim's awesome skills. 10 y.o. damian somehow deserves to be put on a hitlist because he's a savage and tim is civilized. Sometimes the story is bogged own with tim's internal or external lectures about their flaws and how they need to be better (better like him), except for dick HMMMM wonder why that is. probbly wouldn't be so bothered if tim wasn't crammed into the spotlight of every crossover in the 90s and early 00s and then so much of dc and the fandom wave it around as the peak era of comicbooks. like im sorry. he is not a relatable protag. like the editors literally told newspapers that he was created for gen x white dudes who blow their money on comics and merch, the info is on wikipedia.

White twink rich boy who always has to be smartest bestest boy even when he is a part of a whole group of smartest bestest ppl (aka bat family as a whole, like he's literally THE Mary sue of a group of Mary sues) at expense of literally everyone else

His definitive writer is a conservative Republican. His series is full of moral PSAs, *dumb* *hormonal* girls getting into catfights over him, and blatant sexism and racism. He gives anti-marijuana speeches to a standing ovation, he lectures about how babies need a father and a mother, and sex is for marriage. Other characters suddenly become stupid around him so that he looks smart. The other characters talk about how he is the best, nicest, smartest Robin ever and ALL the others were dumber and meaner than he is, even the one that mentored him. He as a grown adult man is canonically still bitter about ""his"" child sidekick role being given to an actual child (fans pretend he is the victim of this on both sides—nope he's the adult fighting a child for the child sidekick role, no adult wanted to replace him). Did I mention that this character is the amazing pure white boy, and his 10-year-old successor is painted as a savage Arab terrorist who needs to be put in his place? T*m is a 5'9""+ adult grown man, not a delicate sensitive baby boy.

[veyalexsa]

Aaaaaaand, for Ve~!

About Sunday: Ve: “That man is annoying! He always makes me stay around him. When I manage to escape, he'll always suddenly appear in front of me! Ugh, I want to kick him!” Eve: “This time I agree with Ve. Sunday... that man brings unpredictable doom.” About Robin: Ve: “She's so graceful! I feel like I'm seeing a real-life princess. Her voice is so lovely, and I was so happy when she agreed to sing at my puppet show!” Eve: “I think she’s just an ordinary girl. You’re too much, Ve.”

About Aventurine: Ve: “Oh? That yellow-haired gambler? Hmm, skip.” Eve: “That IPC member looks suspicious to me. I don't know what he's doing, it's all a big question mark.”

About Dr. Ratio: Ve: “Dr. Ratio? That narcissistic man who always wears a stone head? Hah, he's smart, but his smartness makes him very arrogant and arbitrary. Is every smart person always like that?” Eve: “Ahahaha! He said that he hates idiot, but he looks like an idiot for me!” About Himeko: Ve: “Himeko is the most beautiful woman I've ever met! She's a role model. Her smile is so pretty and I always feel warm when I'm around her.” Eve: “Whatever. Not my type.” About Sparkle: Ve: “Mysterious. That girl is mysterious. But, despite her being a member of the Masked Fools, she's a really fun girl to play with and talk to!” Eve: “Masked Fool members are always interesting to watch. Those fools always make me laugh when they take action.” About Black Swan: Ve: “Unlike Himeko, Black Swan's aura was very warm, but it brought about a strange feeling that I couldn't explain. She is very beautiful.” Eve: “Black Swan? The Memokeeper? Tch, just looking at it makes me sick. She's just hiding her true self behind that alluring smile.”

[lwlrence]

Bluey is touch prone to making Bandit forget the existential comeuppance of a good Dad joke 'i never did it'

forever inane to let you see your kids like this, no wonder i love this show.

so he may have had it hard knowing how much heartbreak the viewer gets if i was the reason how and why Bandit getting hurt is solely close to why i can't try for the hunt on the man in real life, he makes a point and....

deadly defiant on the point only science can prove is abhorred by mankind resolute on the wayward son ageing joke to get Bluey rolling in back over the world to let Bandit complain over what could have been 3 mins extra screen time so the rugby ball can have a full explanation than the latter of Pat which is not in his name but you're trying to thank heavily on the band Train is where he got his name from or who's the owner, i said what was needed. i still do cinemasins controversial here on animation whether you like it or not, still cute though<3

mysterious egg that could have made Bluey forget the ageing joke. so it got cut off too short but the vibe is while like the moment Bandit said 'enjoy it while it lasts' is meant on it but not felt for, i felt the extra time vibe of it go like as if i ever wanted to have children because extraordinary tales take extraordinary tastes and i have yet to forget them if pregnancy looks like a strong accord to p*rn stars star-trekking their way to kiss a button more than feeling, like all they want is a life and i hate living underneath this stupid mountain, like Bluey deserved more. i just don't want to see Swayze's Bingo

at some point the ageing joke is going to console her humanity over whats inside, so she knows now that the ball has no compromise in on the action that Bandit clearly had awareness of that i knew how to change it by a theme, i have no kids.

point break.

Bluey has a lie about her assholery to the camera making the want of a chocolate egg is appealing to pregnant women if on time, can get the emotion harder than it is to meet the eye or if i lied about rugby balls being this edible is class-little effort to finding more playtimes feel like a war he can never have trying to find Bluey's consumption misconceptions about an egg falling from the sky is why imagination is bred for picture screen or the cast of The Boys will tell him alternatively why Hughie cannot try for a baby if he wanted to devoid the situation serious to impair the viewer by tricking the Robin complex enough to be on it by demand (my wedding day) so i know all and all is why i'm happening and you're not. (the viewer)

r.i.p hughie. tongues mean disaster ba*rd i dont like to swear when im making kids TV looking effortless on my blog, like i can tell why i do it all for a reason for billy butcher to swiper no swiping on ur ass, so do something about it (homelander is watching)

homewreck.

yea, Bandit. explain that

he created sequences so that Bluey ages time to slow down the fathers eye or that i will not defend Bandit for hence why i was the first viewer and binged it perfectly with Dean Lewis (24th doctor) at the side +to explain the TV show metaverse to a kid liking role-play activities to stimulate the brain in their complex sight for hunter/gatherer role models to form a construct of ongoing parental disambiguity+ making Bandit re-adapt the magi for an older Bluey to show up and defend her younger versions rights to age if crying wasn't enough or that he bawled to Chilli at some point who was arguably the reason why peanut butter and blueberry jam still exists is why he is so bad at finding a f**k to give on set of The Bluey (Boys) that i have to do it all for them to make Dean Lewis think or that season 4 comes out on time or so that everybody else will know what it's like to watch 'the sign' without him looking like a jack*** right next to lil' black'berry blue with him on the same TV show metaverse as me saying it 'you can't age your fruit' and thats why i won the argument

[catastrophicxfailure]

She'd hate the balloons and the bear. Nancy didn't know much about Max at the end of the day, not more than she managed to learn in the few days they had leading up to battle, but she was sure about that. Who knows, maybe they'd get lucky and Steve would be right and she'd wake up just to tell them she hated the items they had to offer to assuage their own guilt, roll her eyes, and everything would be okay. Steve Harrington happened to have a recent history of being right, though she wouldn't dare admit it to his face (she didn't want to give his ego too much growth, after all). But, out of everything he'd been right about in the last year and a half, this is the one that Nancy Wheeler wanted him to be right about most of all.

"Robin... how is she? I've been meaning to reach out... and volunteer. It's just, with everything going on..." Her lips pressed together, an aching guilt prevalent in the way she hesitated when she spoke. She was nothing short of a do-er, someone who never hesitated to put herself in the middle of whatever was going on, take in the full story, and do something about it. In any other world, Nancy would have been in Robin's place, offering whatever she could to those who had no other place to go in Hawkins. In this world, however, she was all too eager to hide her guilt over what happened to Max behind the panicked supervision her mom placed them under and distanced herself from the rest of the friend group, because she just couldn't bring herself to face them. "Jonathan, uh, offered to come too, but you know, he just..." Wouldn't get it. The words were right there, ready to fall from her lips, but instead she held them in and hoped Steve would get the message anyway.

She held the bear tight in front of her as they waited for the elevator to click into place and the doors to open. "I think he's really growing into himself. Maybe California changed him or maybe he's just had a pretty good role model over the last few years," Nancy offered with a glance in Steve's direction as she stepped into the elevator. "They've all been really lucky to have you looking out for them."

The future of Hawkins was looking real grim as it stood. That itself was bad enough without the added dose of guilt and bitter taste of failure. Max had been collateral and he couldn't stop thinking about how that shouldn't have been. Maybe he should've put his foot down when she was offering to be the bait for their plan. Or at the very least, they should've put a few more protections in place for her incase they got held up in the execution of their plan. It was too little too late for that now but Steve couldn't help it. The 'what if's were haunting.

Peaking up at the balloons he chose for Max, a soft laugh sounds from him in response. Though it does lack the usual humor. It's more an expression of how ridiculous they both looked with their little gifts and well wishes. "Yeah, well, I'm hoping they'll inspire her to wake up so she can tell me how much she hates them." His lips curve upward into a half-grin which doesn't quite reach his eyes. It was a rather lame attempt to lift a mood that, frankly, was too damn heavy to even try.

Steve nods, honestly grateful for the company as he hands over his own money to pay for the balloons. Maybe it was selfish of him but he really didn't want to face Max in her comatose state all alone. "No, yeah, totally. I don't mind." He replies walking alongside her now as they exit the gift shop and head down the hall toward the elevators. "It's kind of a relief, actually. I was supposed to come with Robin but she's been helping out with the shelter they set up at the school. They've been needing more volunteers."

Tapping the button to summon the elevator, he offers a half-smirk at her babysitter comment. It's the first real bit of humor he's found in anything since the incident. "Mike? That kid can't even keep himself out of trouble." He comments before shaking his head because, well, could Steve really be considered a good babysitter anymore? "Probably though."

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

You and Eddie are like parents to Dustin

A/N: I wrote this a couple minutes ago, I have not been okay since volume 2 soooo, here is this I feel like is very cute and fuzzy. I also suck at head cannons sooo yeah, I also have one fir I wrote, but idk if I'm gonna post it, lol enough of me, enjoy this little thing I wrote!

part 2

Before meeting Eddie you were close to Dustin and made sure he was always okay.

You gave him rides to school almost always, along with Lucas, Max, and Mike.

You were kinda the momma first before babysitter Steve got in the picture.

You ensured they always had food to eat or money for that matter.

You gave your money away like it was candy.

Overall you kinda just looked out for everyone

Dustin kinda introduced you to his dungeon master

“y/n this is eddie, eddie this is y/n,”

“Hi, wow Henderson you didn't tell me she was gorgeous,”

Which then started your relationship

Dustin was very supportive knowing his role models were together

“Can one of you give me a ride home?”

“Yes” you both said making the boys laugh

You two would eventually come up with a system, you would take the kiddos to school, and eddie took them home after school

Along with steve you all worked something out

You would help Dustin with his homework all the time when he asked.

You and eddie giving each other looks if dustin asked for help of any kind

You usually are the one who knows what to say

“Dustin, you really should talk to your mom about this,”

“I AM, my mom and dad are right here!”

“Shit, he's right,”

You two tried your best to always be there for dustin

Dustin loved it when you ganged up on Eddie for saying the wrong thing.

“Eddie he is a kid, Dustin don't listen to him,”

“What do you mean? I'm giving him options,”

“Not suitable for a 14 year old boy!”

You were almost always right but in the end Eddie had good advice.

With girls he always went to you for help, almost always

This drove Eddie crazy

“He goes to you for chick advice?”

When you guys go upside down, you two become protective as hell.

“Dustin, you stay behind us okay?”

When Eddie had left you behind at his trailer in Hawkins, you warned Dustin that if you saw him in the upside down following her he would be in trouble. So he stayed behind hoping both his parents were making it out alive.

Lucky you did, you guys escaped, but defeating vecna was harder than you thought.

After all the events, you guys ended up graduating, and Eddie's name was cleared up.

All of you had vouched for him, saying he saved you guys from the earthquake,despite all the allegations people made of him.

Dustin was proud of you guys, for finally graduating, but he knew his parents were eventually going to leave him

Eventually you guys were, after a while of staying in Hawkins, you both decided to move away. Eddie wanted a life with you but not in Hawkins.

For Dustin this hurt

“You can come visit us Dustin, its okay, it’s 40 minutes away, if you want, we can pick you up, and bring you back, that way we can see everyone again,”

Once everything settled you invited Dustin every weekend along with his friends so they could see their dungeon master and play d&d.

It made you happy seeing them again, you knew they needed this.

After much time, you and Eddie got married, telling everyone was the best part and of course..the wedding.

You guys had gone to Hawkins to visit for the weekend and during dinner at Nancy's

“So we have a surprise for all of you,”

“We're getting married!”

Eddie lifted your hand up to show them the ring which happens to be his, and you loved it more than anything

“Congratulations!”

“When's the wedding?”

“Can I be the best man?”

All the congratulations came from all of them, especially Dustin, he gave you guys a big hug.

“My parents are getting married,”

“Yes, and Henderson, I want you to be my best man, Steve, Wheeler, Sinclair, you are gonna be my groomsmen!”

Your maid of honor was robin knowing she hated the idea of wearing a dress, but you surprised her in what she was going to wear, nancy, max, and erica were your bridesmaids.

The day of your wedding Dustin was crying like crazy, he was just so happy. You two truly were the best parents he ever had.

He loved his mom of course, but these parents he had were different.

Soon enough you family grows just a little

You two were expecting a baby boy in a couple months, Eddie wasted no time in wanting to grow your family and neither did you.

You told Dustin first of course

“So we have something to tell you dustin, which is why we brought you alone with us,”

“Okay, you're not gonna mirder me are you?”

“No henderson, since you are our firstborn child, we want you to have someone to.. you know save the world, you're gonna have a baby brother!” 

“No…really? I'M GONNA BE A BIG BROTHER, can you name him Dart?”

“After that demadog? Hell no!”

Dustin spent so much time with you whenever Eddie was gone for work, you two had been working so much with the baby coming.

So when you were far along that you couldn't move as much due to your baby bump you stayed home. 

“Have you thought of a name?”

“Yeah, we have, but eddie is very indecisive, as you know,”

“What  about..Dustin?”

“Yeah no chance dusty,”

He would talk to baby munson all the time, talking about Eddie and how he saved the world and how he was the dungeon master.

Whenever those two were together they would talk about how they would teach your baby to play d&d.

“We have to start him now, so he is at a higher level then the other kids!”

When your baby was born everyone had come to see your little one.

“Guys, come in, don't be shy '' Eddie had brought everyone in as you held onto your baby boy.

His name was Johnny, Johnny Munson, you loved the sound of it, but Eddie wasn't sure if he should continue the family name, but you more than anyone was proud of that last name.

“Oh my gosh, who knew you could make cute babies?” Robin said very astounded at the little baby then back at eddie

“Munson, you did good. Congrats,'' Steve said, getting a grin from Eddie.

“Don't you worry big boy, you will have your six nuggets in no time, i just beat you to it,”

Everyone had left and Dustin was the only one standing, he was scared because the baby he was talking to through your belly was now here and worried Johnny wouldn't like him, but you knew more than anything Johnny would love Dustin just as much as you and Eddie did.

“Dustin. Come here.”

He was quite hesitant but was excited to meet yours and eddie’s kid

He sat next to you on the bed as you handed johnny to him, “this here is your older brother dustin, johnny,”

Dustin just stared at the little mix of you and eddie, “hi, im dustin, im hopeful you already knew that,”

Dustin looked at you then at his little brother

He talked on and one just like when he would when you and him hung out.

He smiled so hard he couldn't believe he was a big brother.

“You guys aren't from the same family, but he is your big brother, we don't know what lead him to choose me and your dad as his parents, but we’re happy he did,”

*hope you enjoyed if you have any requests please send them through! I have nothing to do, so yeah haha love you all! :)

[rogueddie]

Eddie had thought that, like always, getting back from tour would be a fun affair. Ever since his and Steves little Robin started school, just three years ago, it had become a celebration. Steve and Robin always made sure he understood how they would always miss him so much that it hurt.

Still, he hadn't expected to find Robin sobbing. The distressed, lost look Steve gives him only makes it sting more.

"Baby, hey," Eddie says, voice hushed, practically joining her in Steves lap with how close he sits next to him. "Birdy?"

"She won't talk to me," Steve explains. "Its... she was so happy this morning."

Eddie turns his attention back to her. "Did something happen at school?"

She pulls back, suddenly. Eddie barely has time to notice that Steve's shoulder is left soaked with how much she'd been crying- she grabs Eddie's forearm tight, eyes wide.

"Are you and mama gonna get divorced?"

"I sure fucking hope not," Eddie says without thinking.

"Eddie!"

"What?"

"You sleep in different rooms," she sniffles, drawing their attention back to her. "And you always go away, dad, like... like, all the time."

"I go away for work. You know how much I hate leaving. I checked that pretty little calendar you made me, every single day. You two mean the world to me, sweetheart."

"You have separated bedrooms. Kyle said that only divorced parents do that!"

"Kyle," Steve says the name like it's a curse. "I swear, I'm going to cause mayhem if Carol doesn't get that brat to behave himself."

"Steve-"

"What? This is the fourth time he's said something that's upset our girl!"

"He's a dumb kid." Eddie pulls Robin off Steve's lap, into his arms. He sticks out his tongue when Steve tries to complain. "Do you wanna know why me and mama have separate rooms?"

Robin nods, looking more confused than distressed. She slaps his shoulder when he tries to walk ahead, making him wait for Steve to get up so she can hold his hand whilst Eddie carries her to Steve's room.

"Ok, birdy. How would you describe mamas room?"

She hesitated, looking around. "Pretty?"

"Exactly. So pretty, all these pastels and whites. Very bright and happy, right?" He waits for her to nod, before walking them across the hall and into his room. "Would you say my room is pretty?"

"No!" Her face scrunches up. "It's all dark and scary!"

"You wouldn't want to be in here too much, would you?"

"No! I only come in here if you and mama are. It's not nice or pretty."

"Mama wouldn't like being in here too long either, would he?"

She looks to Steve, understanding slowly dawning on her face. "Mama doesn't like your room either, he told me."

"Robin!"

Eddie laughs, loudly, bouncing her so she laughs. "I know, baby. But, you know, I don't like mamas room either. It's all so bright and I like this; dark and scary."

"We take turns," Steve adds. "We get our own space, but we never sleep alone. Not if we can help it."

She's quiet as she thinks about it. "Ok. I don't think I understand it yet but... that makes sense. I need to think about it."

"Is that my cue to put you down?"

"Yeah! We can party later, this is more important."

As soon as he puts her down, she darts off into her room.

Steve snorts at how hard she slams the door. "She's just like Robs."

"Maybe we should've named her after El."

"Maybe. She'd be a better role model."

"I'm telling Robin you said that."

"Go on, she'll agree with me. Why do you think she refuses to babysit anymore?"

"Ah, can't handle a taste of her own medicine."

Steve hums, finally stepping closer, arms curling around Eddie's waist. "I missed you."

"Missed you more, big boy."

[steddiealltheway]

I guess I wrote a mini fic? This was supposed to me like 5 sentences. Anyways…

Steve and Eddie coparenting would absolutely be the kids calling Steve “Mom” and Eddie “Dad”. At first Steve hates it - he never wanted to be the babysitter. He couldn’t survive if something happened to those kids on his watch.

But then he has Eddie who is calling him “honey” and “sweetheart”, so Steve reluctantly starts calling him “baby” and “Eds”. At first, it’s to get Dustin’s inevitable reaction of whining “Mommmm…” but then the pet names become second nature.

Everyone gets used to this but incomes Max Mayfield the absolute meddling little shit (lovingly). She starts stirring up trouble in the car on purpose, reveling in the way Steve threatens to turn the car around while Eddie says, “Listen to your mother.”

One afternoon, the kids are extremely rowdy and on edge for some reason. No amount of lecturing will calm them down, and Steve gets overwhelmed and takes it all personally. He has to pull over and Eddie is there quietly whispering affirmations ensuring him that it isn’t his fault and they’re not actually his kids so they’re bound to be a pain in the ass. Then, Max is speaking up and suddenly saying they’ll all calm down if their parents kiss. Everyone kind of looks at her and she’s like, “Sometimes we need love, not lectures.” Or whatever comes to mind first. But then Eddie is asking Steve if that’s okay and giving him a chaste kiss when Steve says yes. The kids actually behave the rest of the day.

And the kiss sticks. Every time they get in the car, Eddie is giving Steve a kiss. Hell, whenever Eddie greets Steve he’s giving him some type of kiss, bowing down to kiss his hand or even a quick peck on the cheek.

(Steve absolutely panics a bit when he realizes how much he looks forward to these moments and just Eddie’s presence in general and asks Robin for help which ends up with him finding out that he can like girls and boys and it’s called bisexuality.)

Then, Steve and Eddie start to notice how much Will watches them, truly idolizing them. Will realizes that it’s okay to be who he is (so gay), and it’s even possible for him to fall in love one day. Eventually, he’s nervously asking to talk to Steve and Eddie alone and he’s coming out and absolutely showered with love and acceptance.

Time goes on and Eddie is slowly losing his mind because he’s absolutely in love with Steve and losing his goddamn mind because it’s Steve Harrington (who doesn’t even know who Ozzy Osbourne is).Then he’s calling in a favor to “Auntie” Nancy and “Aunt” Robin because he has to talk to Steve.

Then it’s Nancy and Robin with the kids who are absolutely losing their minds, but then it’s Nancy who speaks up asking if a kiss would shut them up. (Because Mike has been telling her all about Steve and Eddie as he finally realizes that that’s what he wants with Will and always has.) And Robin’s completely word vomiting consent when Nancy asks if she can kiss her and then she’s being shut up with a kiss. And El and Max just kind of turn red as they make eye contact with each other (no one says anything when they hold hands the rest of the car ride).

Meanwhile, Steve is telling Eddie what an absolute idiot he is because they’ve basically been dating the whole time and of course he loves him too.

Later on, Steve and Eddie tell the kids how they’re officially their mom and dad (which absolutely confuses the kids at first because they were all along). Dustin finally gets it and is yelling, “You’re dating!” over and over. And he’s celebrating because his two biggest role models are together and happy and absolutely deserving of each other. And the couple is giving a long lecture about how important communication is - which everyone except Mike and Will tune out.

Eventually, Mike and Will finally talk to each other confessing their long time feelings and feel like absolute idiots for not talking sooner. And they come out to the party the next day and Max and El share a quick glance before they come out too. Then Lucas is hugging Max, telling her how happy he is that she’s found someone so right for her - and thankful that he doesn’t have to apologize after their 37th breakup.

Everyone just waits as Robin and Nancy dance around their feelings for each other, but Steve and Eddie tell them no meddling - secretly they’re already doing that. And finally Robin snaps and tells everyone that they’re dating. And everyone is celebrating all over again. (Off in the distance Jonathan and argyle are making out while they’re sooooo high)

And they’re just one giant happy, queer family.

And that’s Season 4 Vol. 2 everyone.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Going into this fandom prompt for a fandom brand new to this blog! I've recently finished every episode of this show and it is my new love, Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun! I'm hoping to see requests for this one quite a bit, along with ones for the other fandoms!

Send me a letter and I’ll tell you which character…

A: Is most attractive (to me): This isn’t going to surprise anyone, bet you anything, but it’s definitely Balam!

B: Gets bored the fastest: This is definitely Ronove! The second that things stop revolving around him, he gets bored and acts out a bit.

C: Is the most open to cuddling: It’s actually been shown that Balam really does express a lot of his care and affection towards others through physical touch so I really feel that cuddles would be part and parcel of being around him.

D: Fears death the most: I feel like Allocer does fear death a lot. It’s not the dying that worries him, the pain of it…it’s all the things he hasn’t learned yet along with the fear of the unknown, of what truly comes after death.

E: Is the most emotive: Clara can’t hide her emotions and, honestly, she doesn’t even think to. It was never taught to her that she should do so. Her emotions show so clearly on her face and she’s usually quite up front and honest about everything. Even if she’s trying to keep something to herself, on those rare occasions she does, her behaviour while being ‘secretive’ will be such a huge tip-off to those around her that they’ll know something is going on.

F: Is my favourite: As with every other fandom I’ve ever gotten into, I don’t really have a favourite! There’s so many great characters and there’s really none that I absolutely despise. My attention and current love for them does fluctuate but generally, no favourites.

G: Has the greenest thumb: No brainer. It’s Suzy. Canonically and for me, it can’t be anyone else.

H: trusts their horoscope the most: Though it would surprise most who know her, I really feel like Ameri takes her horoscope seriously and reads it every day. She’d be too embarrassed to admit it, but she does.

I: Tends to idolize people they shouldn’t: It’s not all the time, because there are some people he looks up to or finds inspiration in that are really good role models, but Sabro can be quite naively trusting of people, especially if they manage to get close to him or impress him in any way.

J: Tells the most dad jokes: Robin has a bad habit of doing this and it’s part of why a lot of the other teachers hate long conversations with him.

K: Is the most skilled in the kitchen: Opera is, of course, the obvious answer, but I’d also like to add in my headcanon that Elizabetta is also a really good cook, but only if she’s cooking for someone she really loves. She tends to really focus on it and try her hardest then.

L: Lies the most: General Furfur lies like most people breathe. It just comes incredibly naturally to him and it’s really hard for most people to distinguish the lies from the truth. In fact, sometimes it’s hard for even him to do so.

M: Is the biggest memer: I just have this strong feeling that Dali would be. Oh god, he’d love the weirdest, stupidest memes too and would spam people with them just to be an annoying little bugger because he would find that hilarious.

N: Needs way more attention from me: Azz, probably. I don’t write about him or really think about him as much as some other characters, especially considering how big a part of the show and how popular he is.

O: Has the most OCs of their own: Not so much OC’s but I feel like Purson, throughout his life, has constructed so many imaginary friends, right down to minute details.

P: Is the purest, most perfect cinnamon roll: It’s Iruma, let’s not kid ourselves. Even in his Evil cycle, the boy was too sweet. He’s just genuinely a good person with this huge heart.

Q: Is the quickest to judge others: Blushenko suffers from this. After all the disappointments she’d had, she became quick to judge and give up on people. It’s something she’s slowly fixing following becoming Iruma’s tutor but it’s still a problem she’ll always suffer from to some degree.

R: Feels the most detached from reality: I think this one would be Purson again, really just because of how he’s had to live and because of what he can do. He’s generally very detached from people and the day-to-day reality of his classmates, not because he wants to be, but it can make him feel very untethered from reality at times.

S: Has the strongest spirit: I can’t pick just one character here. There are very few of them that don’t have strong spirits when it comes to their personal ambitions and wouldn’t put in the hard work to get what they want.

T: Is the most terrifying: There’s reasons people don’t want to piss off Sullivan, let’s just put it that way.

U: Is the most unapologetic for the way they live their life: Repeat answer but I don’t really care. Honestly, Sullivan…and a bonus answer of Delkira…completely do not give two flying fucks what anyone thinks of how they want to live and do what they want unapologetically.

V: Is the best at video games: Is it going to be surprising that I put Lied here? Games are this boy’s thing!

W: Watches the most anime: I have a feeling that Kamui watches a lot…like, A LOT, of harem animes.

X: Is the most xenial towards complete strangers: I’m going to say Kalego. It’s not so much being xenial as just that he doesn’t want to be bothered with them and would like them to go the fuck away and leave him alone.

Y: Yells the most: Morax…please excuse him, his hearing is going somewhat.

Z: Gets the most overzealous over something others wouldn’t expect: While it’s used mostly for pictures of Iruma, Eiko really did get super into photography. When it comes to angles, lighting, camera models, all of that, she can get super passionate about the topic and has very strong opinions on the subject.