#I don't know if people even use that phrase anymore to be honest I feel like it's fallen out of use in favour of engineer or developer

[aeolianblues]

I don't like that the dev community picks on people who are most fluent in Python, when the ChatGPT-using "vibe coders" are right there. At least Python babies are coding. Bully the non-coders instead.

[thehigherseekerastro]

Hello and Happy Holidays! I was wondering do you know what Synastry aspects & overlays indicate being very attached at the hip? To the point that it might seem very odd to see one without the other?? "We're a packaged deal"// "Hey, where's your shadow?"// "You guys are just two peas in a pod"// "With us you get a two for one special" Kind of energy/vibe. Thank you for your time, and hope that there is plenty of Holiday joy and cheer for you and your loved ones!

Hiiii, love! Happy holidays! And thank you very much for the well wishes. I wish you the very same back! 🩷

I always try to be as honest as possible here with my astrology content, so I'll say that I am not sure I am the best person to answer this question, but I will try to answer you to the best of my ability.

First, I will give you some cautionary ideas, but then I'll give possible positive outcomes of the synastry you asked about.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Synastry: External x Internal

The first thing to point out would be the manifestation of said synastry. What is it exactly that you want? Because it can look different from the outside than it feels like for the two people in the relationship. You could be talking about a synastry that LOOKS (external) like they're conjoined twins and happy about it, but FEELS (internal) like an obligation or suffocating for them. Or you could be talking about a synastry that is very private in display, so it seems cold or distant to the outside, but in their intimacy they're very attached.

You might even be looking at synastry that has veered into sibling-like/platonic convenience territory, and the romantic love isn't that strong there anymore, but they're still maintaining the habit of doing everything together. Perhaps a synastry that talks less of mutual adoration and more of codependency and lack of individuality.

It's important that when we look at synastry we don't romanticize the appearance of it (and that includes our idealized fantasies of what the perfect love would look like), and rathe focus on the FEELING of that synastry, because at the end of the day, it should feel good, healthy and mutually respectful, regardless of the vibe it gives off.

Synastry: Does all "good" synastry feel good?

Ever heard the phrase 'too much of a good thing is a bad thing'?

Now, here, I don't mean quantity, but rather intensity.

Having that type of synastry you talked about... are we sure it feels right for everyone? And HOW did we get to that point of being so close all the time? Was it because of a constant need for the other's company or is it possessiveness and an imbalance of power? Because synastry can describe both, and it can make one look like the other.

My point is to say that you could have no such aspect with someone and grow a very close and flowy connection, just like you can have that type of synastry and it goes overboard and turns harmful, but one would never know from looking at it superficially.

How much synastry does it take?

The answer is: more than you expect.

You see, while we'll often see analyses for individual placements online, that is done only to make it more simple to understand, but one aspect alone cannot realistically carry an entire connection. You are not gonna behave an entire way just because you have that one aspect or overlay. In real life, just like you need to look at the entire chart to describe a person, synastry aspects NEED support and combination with multiple aspects/overlays.

The reason being that the same aspect can cause different effects for different relationships. Codependency between lovers and codependency between family members are different things, for example. But they can come from having the exact same aspect/overlay.

So, like a puzzle, synastry needs multiple pieces at the same time to formulate an entire bigger picture and differentiate one thing from another.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Assuming that you are talking specifically of synastry between a healthy and happy and loving couple...

It would need to be a combination of both emotional and physical synastry, so one Mars this, or one Moon that, is not gonna cut it. It needs multiple placements going in the same direction. So apply this if at least 2 or more aspects are present at the same time:

•••• •••• •••• •••• •••• •••• •••• •••• ••••

* Rising conjunct rising *

No, not rising in the other's first house. It needs to be conjunct. Sometimes, not even having the same rising sign is enough if it's not conjunct.

If you use the Placidus system and you have a Leo rising at 21° and someone else is a Virgo rising at 7°, their rising will fall inside your 1st house – that does NOT mean you have the same rising sign, nor that your risings are conjunct.

If you are a Virgo rising at 2° and someone else is a Virgo rising at 28° degrees, you do have the same rising sign, but your ascendants are NOT in conjunction.

When the risings are in conjunction that indicates a similar way of going about life, carrying oneself, behaving and expressing. It COULD go the other direction and turn into rivalry, though. If it doesn't, then the people should naturally behave very similarly, and that creates a feeling of "ease" with the other person, because you don't have to be explaining yourself, they just act like you naturally.

* A combination of Cancer + Leo + Scorpio placements between the two *

That means that the two people have placements in those three signs. They don't need to both have all 3 signs in their chart at the same time, but they do need to have at least 2, and if they have the same sign it's even stronger.

For example: If Person A is a Cancer sun, with a Leo moon. And Person B also has a Leo moon and has a bunch of Scorpio placements in their chart.

Cancer is a naturally clingy and attached sign, so Person A will naturally want to be attached at the hip with the person they love. The closer they are, the more stable, safe and secure Cancerians feel, so they need emotional and physical proximity to feel like things are under control and safe. They see emotional compatibility as a sign that things are going right and they found the right person.

Leo is a fire sign, but it's a fixed fire sign, so it's also very attached to what it knows. Being a fire sign, Leo IS guided by their desires and wants, but unlike the other two fire signs (Aries & Sagittarius), Leo is not fickle. It doesn't change plans on a whim, on an impulse. Specially in love. But it feels emotions very ardently and deeply. So Leo wants to be obsessed with their partner and it wants their partner to be obsessed back.

Scorpio is another fixed sign - like Leo -, and another water sign - like Cancer -, so combine the two and you get a Scorpio. Scorpio is deathly committed, it's obsessive in it's love and it is dead set on one target and one target only. It wants to know its people deeply, inside and out, all of them. ALL of them. Which means Scorpio doesn't ever get bored or tired of their lover. They would gladly spend 24 hours + 7 days a week + 12 months with their lover.

That means that these placements naturally have a need to be around that person constantly and they thrive on doing and wanting the same things. So this can cause the two people to do everything together all the time, to a point in which they create their own little bubble and their own world, in which others from the outside can't really get in. At times, they might even forget others are even around.

* Same moon sign *

That means what it says. They have the exact same moon sign. Their moons don't have to be necessarily conjunct, but they DO need to be in the same sign.

So if you have a Sagittarius moon at 26° and someone has a Capricorn moon at 1°, TECHNICALLY your moons are conjunct by 5 degrees. But they are not in the same sign. Your personalities are different. That connection works in a different way.

But if you have a Sagittarius moon at 12° and someone has a Sagittarius moon at 25°, they are too far apart to be conjunct, but they are still in the same sign. So you have the same emotional landscape.

When two people share a moon sign that immediately describes a sense of comfort, understanding and safety. It also sparks up a gigantic amount of excitement. Because they recognize each other, they understand each other's emotional impulses, and they don't have to explain what they feel a lot, because the other person probably already feels the exact same way, so they just "get it". They can translate what the other feels easily.

It can make the people want to be around one another all the time, because with this person it feels safe, there's no suckerpunch, no surprise, no judgement, no rejection, no ambush. Plus, they validate each other A LOT.

Physically, they will want to hang out as much as possible. Emotionally, they will just rely on each other constantly for mutual support, which can make them – again – tune out everybody else and just focus on each other.

This literally gives "they finish each other's sentences" energy. Bonus points if it's a Leo moon.

* Mars conjunct moon *

Now, again, this aspect alone will not create this. If people have Mars conjunct moon, but the rest of the synastry is a disaster, they will most definitely not go the right way with this. I am talking about a COMBINATION of HEALTHY aspects TOGETHER.

There isn't much to say about this one. It combines physical needs with emotional needs. It IS a tricky aspect, because it gives rise to violent anger, on the account that it's the planet of aggression touching the planet of emotions. So they will value the impact of the other person a lot, which means that when that person upsets them, they feel it even more dramatically than with others. But when it works well, it really works nicely.

The first and most apparent effect of this would be a need to be physically close to the other a lot. So they will often sit next to each other, talk looking at each other, walk very close to each other, touch each other a lot, even if it's light touches, and depending on their level of intimacy, do physical forms of affection, like kisses on cheeks, head, shoulders, hugs, gentle caress etc.

Emotionally, they will search for drive in each other. It's like the other person is their personal motivator. If they are in a group setting, for example, they might look at the other person for validation that what the're saying is right, or they might feel safe to share their ideals and aspirations because the other person is there to support them. It can even make a shy person start to speak up their thoughts because the other boosts their confidence and will defend them if needed.

* Mercury in the same element *

Both having a water Mercury (Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces), a fire Mercury (Aries, Leo or Sagittarius), earth Mercury (Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn) or air Mercury (Gemini, Libra or Aquarius). Mercury is the planet of communication and the mind.

When two people have compatible Mercuries, even if they are not in the same sign, but they are in the same element, that talks of an easy flow of communication between them. That means the core of how they formulate their thoughts is the same:

Water - driven by emotional intelligence.

Fire - driven by sensorial intelligence (how it feels like in their body. Does it feel exciting or annoying?).

Earth - driven by practical analysis.

Air - driven by rational, factual mental processes.

They can understand each other fairly easy, as well as explain themselves to the other. That can mean conversations can become very centered on them and others sort of fade away into the background, SPECIALLY if the other people aren't getting what they mean. Mercury is impatient, so if they are with others and the others don't get what they're saying, they could be just like "ugh! Whatever. This person gets it, so I'll just talk to them and ignore the others. If they get it, that's enough for me."

* 5th house overlays with major planets *

Major planets are: Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus and Mars. The 5H is the house of joy and excitement, the house of play, fun, romance and pleasure.

If someone's major placements touch your 5H or vice versa, it can describe a relationship in which everything with that person feels like a reward and the best times of one's life. Everything feels exciting and pleasurable.

So who wouldn't want to be around someone who's fun and makes you happy all the time? They never get bored of each other.

This one also gives "tag team" energy. They are mischievous together, and might cause trouble with the help of one another. In a good, light-hearted way. Like joining forces to prank their friends. They also go on all types of adventures together.

* Mercury in the 3rd house overlay *

The house of communication with the planet of communication. Need I say more? The Mercury needs to be in good condition, though, otherwise, it will be manipulation instead of cooperation. And, once more, other positive aspects need to also be present.

Just mental connection to a level that is almost psychic. They read each other's minds.

Internally, that can make they feel intuitively connected and understood.

Externally, they can be the pair that always knows what the other is thinking, what they're gonna say, and become the official spokesperson for the other.

They also do NOT get tired of talking to each other. Ever. They can talk forever, and they never seem to run out of conversations to have. They might even talk in a similar way, or adopt each other's mannerisms and speech patterns. They also learn words, phrases and expressions from one another. And they change the other's perspective easily.

* Pluto in the 7th house overlay *

This one can be more on the toxic side, I warn.

It creates obsession and possessiveness, as well as codependency. So it could give rise to that "shadow" effect. Always with each other, always in each other's radar, refusing to break apart. It also creates an addictive feeling.

It can also make them be secretive together, which can give even more the energy that they are each other's shadow.

•••• •••• •••• •••• •••• •••• •••• •••• ••••

That's it!

There's a few more, but I feel like for now that's been enough to read.

I hope the information is helpful to you. Let me know if you have any questions or feedback!

Thank you for the question and have a happy holiday season! ❤️🎄

[thistlerock]

Sometimes I think about Ecaf. Sometimes I think it was less Fabian being obsessed with himself (though it was also that. Don't get me wrong) and more the fact that every time you look at a mirror it looks back.

I don't know how to word this, I'm not even super sure what I'm trying to say? Fabian thinks he's the greatest guy ever, which is sometimes uncalled for, but at the same time he doesn't seem to like himself that much. The good old "I'm superior and the greatest person in the room at all time but also the second I don't live up to this insane standard I've set for myself I feel like I'm dying. I'm a horrible failure." and yeah Fabian HAS done a lot of work to destroy that insane standard for himself, especially because his father himself (who was the inadvertent reason for it) told him he'll love him no matter what and stuff but just because it's gotten better and the general "goal" has shifted doesn't mean that the overall mindset that was engrained in him for sixteen years of his life is completely gone. It doesn't feel like it's completely gone. It still feels like he's trying way too hard sometimes, and trying to prove something to someone who can at this point only be himself.

But anyway that was me getting side tracked — the point is that it's not like Fabian likes himself enough to be able to stand himself for more than two hours. He needs to be around people.

I don't know. If it was fully just about himself then he wouldn't constantly be vying for attention. It's kind of always been for the recognition, the validation, the vindication. And, again, Fabian's gotten a lot better. He doesn't "throw a fit" (I use this phrase carefully because I don't think it's a "fit" I think if he were a real person this would probably be like. a serious problem lmao) over not getting to hog the spotlight and instead agrees to share it (for example his first time in bard class) but he still needs the spotlight to function and not crumple up and die in a corner. I think he genuinely feels like he's dying if no one is looking at him. I don't mean physically looking, I mean it in the way that his mother has been around for all his life but she didn't really look at him until the day he yelled at her to stop being an object and his father died. Like that. Fabian needs to be looked at or he feels really, really bad I think.

(The crushing loneliness of being alone in a huge manor without parents is something that would creep up on most people, yes. Not being looked at ever by anyone would damage anyone, yes. But I think Fabian is sensitive to it to a degree that's not normal. The Nightmare King's forest did try to scare them away with only the worst of their fears. Chungle-down Bim wasn't even conjured by the forest and the rat was a thing, sure, but the main thing is that no one looked at him anymore. No one could look at him and it was as if they had never been able to do so in the first place. A nightmare-ish future for him was one where he wasn't worth looking at anymore. Has Fabian ever wanted anything but to be seen?)

And it's scary to be like that, I think. To crash the second people stop looking. Because really, how likely is it that people look at you all the time? His friends have lives and concerns and honest to god issues of their own so no matter how much they care they won't be able to look at him all the time. Cathilda loves him as her son, and she's been looking at him for years but she can't right now. She really can't, and it's not like he's around her right now anyway. His father, similarly, loves him endlessly and is overjoyed to look at him any change he gets but his father is dead and in hell and so very busy. And it's hard to get in touch. Hallariel looks, sometimes, fleetingly. And he keeps chasing after it but she gets distracted so easily (and very soon he'll have to learn that Gilear and a hypothetical second child seem to be more eye catching right now, and it'll sting. And no one will really get how bad it is because it just seems kind of childish of him — and it is, kind of. But he should probably be allowed to be childishly upset when his mother seems to find it so hard to look at him and yet continues to find new things to look at. She can't concentrate on looking at the one thing in front of her, please stop getting more. Please look at him. Please.)

It's kind of cruel, but it's impossible to be looked back at every time you look at someone. It's just not gonna happen no matter how much you need it and no matter how much they like looking at you. Not with people. Sometimes they'll have their back turned to you, sometimes they'll take just a second too long to turn back towards you and it hurts, sometimes they might be looking in your general direction but not focusing on you and that might hurt even more. (Why are you not making eye contact? Is this one-sided?) It hurts to look at someone who's not looking at you.

But Ecaf's a mirror, and she looks back. Both literally and, well, not literally. She just mirrors whatever energy is thrown at her so Fabian gets all the endless devotion and attention and admiration and validation and whatnot he needs. He's not super aware of this (or if he is then he's in denial) so it feels like the greatest thing in the world. It feels like the most wonderful connection he's ever forged. Maybe it feels like "love" in the insane way he'd declared Aelwyn his love simply because it was passionate and he wanted it so desperately that it was overwhelming and he didn't know what lt could possibly be other than love. If he can't stop thinking about it, and the thought of losing it makes it hard to breathe then it has to be love, right? I don't know. I just know that every time Fabian looks at Ecaf she looks right back. Suddenly he can get all the things he needs from other people from himself (even if he's not acknowledging that he himself is giving them), it's safe and so much easier. Immediate positive feedback every time. It doesn't matter that everyone else is starting to matter a little less.

So I guess it was about being obsessed with himself after all. Something like that.

[lazywriters-blog]

SISTER's SUPPORT 2

Summary: You have a story to tell about how you got pushed into a situation by your sister-in-law. Lying didn't get you anywhere.

Since you wanted a part two, here it is. With some sprinkled dark chocolate and layered spooky, I like these kinds of goofy dark scenarios- (not proofread)

You felt like a married couple consoling a raging teen who refused their favorite snack because of something you did. Even if you did, you had no idea of what you did wrong to deserve this, you barely know the twin brother and sister.

Maybe faking it till you make it home safe and sound was a good decision to keep in mind while you slowly and carefully sip your black tea, peering over to the twins who thought taking eyes off of you meant death.

You know they are not bad people, there are only good things you've heard about them in passing, adorable twin magicians with hats and tricks beloved because of it.

You didn't think the sister would have such a temper. Who in their right mind would come forth and throw accusations, unless her dear brother did admire you and you've gone and missed his magic show?

"No need to be coy, you don't need to lie about anything, we know much already. You like my brother too, don't you?"

You couldn't have responded quicker than lyney who gasped and hid his face behind his hand unsure if disappointment or embarrassment was right in his situation. '... Would you please stop embarrassing me and giving me heart attacks?"

"I'm sure he's a good gentleman and-"

"I asked, do you like him or not? Quit beating around the bushes and tell us the truth, that way my brother can rest easy and move on from his unhealthy fixation." She crossed her arms and glared, you are not sure if she's older than you yet.

"Oh... Uh." she's blunt, you were caught off guard, "Well, to be honest, I don't know him. You both are good magicians I've heard, I can't say if I like him or not if I haven't gotten to know him at all."

"Brother, tell her about yourself." She faced him, "You've been pining over a girl who doesn't even know you better than herself and you've been losing sleep over this?"

"Lynette, maybe spare me some dignity and let things happen naturally. Why do you have to rat me out like that?"

"Because I hate seeing you like this."

If you could get up and leave, you would without a second wasted. The twins were bickering while you contemplated your wisest words and phrases, sentences that were guaranteed to get you out of it with your ego intact.

"I said I've lost sleep because of that one failed trick I got wrong, and you were the one to butt in before I could make my move!"

"If I hadn't, this wouldn't be happening! You would be back to stalk-" Lyney quickly put his hand on her mouth and furrowed his eyebrows, as if to say 'Shut up she doesn't need to know that.'

But that expression eased off when he turned around to look you in the eye, "I'm sorry about this, my sister is a little fussy and all, you know..." he nervously smiled, had you not known better or seen it happen you would have believed they had nothing to hide.

"It's fine." What more could you say? They were guilty of dragging you here.

"I am sorry, I am, My sister usually doesn't pull off such stunts, it would be better for us to forget about this and move along." he laughed, but somehow it felt ominous to you, the way he steepled his hand and drop his elbow on the table, he didn't feel threatened anymore.

"Of course, why not," you answered.

"Splendid!" he raised his hands, giving you a tight smile with closed eyes. Giving it a few seconds, he waited for his sister to say something, elbowing her when she didn't.

Were you bonding with the twins? Not really.

"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but would you like to marry my brother? I'm sure he'll sleep better knowing you are his. He's not a bad guy."

If you weren't there, Lyney wouldn't have kept up his smile and made you see him in a good light, however, his smile still appeared strained.

These two were oddly funny siblings with a sudden tendency to expose each other.

"Lynette..." Lyney hummed in a low voice, and his sister did not even flinch, "Sorry bro."

"Was this conversation about marriage from the beginning? Why didn't you say so? I wouldn't have had to worry so much haha..." how were you supposed to get out of this?

Reacting positively could only get you so far.

"So? Do you approve of my brother? You guys should get married in two days." Nothing seemed to faze this girl.

You looked at Lyney, then Lynette and you weren't sure of what you were going to say anymore.

If you say no, you are certain his sister will tear you to shreds and make sure the rest of your days go on as badly as possible, even saying 'I'll think about it' ingrained the same scenario in your head.

It shouldn't be so bad to say yes, no?

"... Why not?"

Saying no meant more harm than good. Besides, you just wanted to get out of this situation as quietly as possible.

"Bro, you owe me one. When can I expect grandchildren?"

"You mean nephews..." lyney replied.

"Yeah, that."

Tag list

@swivy123 @rotin0

@idontevenknow129 @heartsbyvalentina

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA For Not Budging On A Potentially Unconventional Need?

I (M20+) have BPD and Autism, and when I was younger, they'd both team up to cause me a lot of struggle.

One of the biggest things I used to do was self isolate when I was upset or worried, and just sit around after throwing out some red flags, hoping someone would read my mind and ask me if I was alright.

OBVIOUSLY THAT WASN'T VERY HEALTHY, neither for myself or for others. I definitely think that was an "ESH" time period.

So now that I'm older, in therapy, taking meds, and generally doing better and am a lot happier, I put clear communication as my #1 priority in all of my relationships.

I don't phrase anything in a way that sounds confrontational, I don't tell people what they can or can't do, who they can or can't talk with, don't get jealous too easily, etc. I only ask for honesty, compromise, and mutual respect for boundaries.

I really thought I was doing well for myself by swapping "I won't communicate at all" out for "I need to communicate often"

But one thing that I just can't seem to stop is the paranoia when it comes to people I'm particularly close and very vulnerable with; I'll notice certain changes in their demeanor and worry it's because I've done something wrong, or that they don't like me as much anymore. Sometimes I CAN brush it off and wait it out until I'm inadvertently proven otherwise.

But if it's not going away, and I'm worried it's just getting worse, I need to just ask for their honest thoughts and get it over with. If for some reason they were actually upset, my intention would NOT be to double down or lash out. I just DON'T want to be strung along by a lie, as has happened!

This isn't really that common of an occurrence either. Maybe every few weeks during particularly hard periods.

I don't feel this way about people I'm not very close to, and people who do manage to get very close to me know this about me; I keep no secrets about my mental health and try to be extremely upfront. A lot of people will say at first that they understand, but over time, I'll eventually get that flack and heartache from them, saying that it's just too exhausting for them. At best, I'm kinda teased for it. It's made me feel like I haven't made as much progress in my recovery as I thought I had, which sucks.

It's not me starting arguments or fights, or accusing them of anything. Just me saying "Hey, I've been feeling a little paranoia lately, is everything okay between us? Is there anything we should talk about?" or something like that.

I'm really conflicted about it.

On one hand, I feel like if things are okay, it shouldn't be difficult or tiring to say "Nope, everything's alright, dw!" If you still like me in a certain way, why would it be tiring to just say so? It takes maybe five seconds to type/say. The only way I can see it being tiring is if they were just telling me white lies about how they felt, and had to maintain the act.

On the other hand, I know BPD isn't without its delusions, and that Autism isn't without its "misunderstanding of social norms". I know I'm likely to see things differently from others. I know it's not exactly EASY to love someone like me. Maybe it IS too much of a demand, and I've just convinced myself it's not?

This IS something I'm trying to work through in therapy regardless, but I just worry that it isn't a symptom that will ever fully go away, and instead it needs to be worked with.

Am I the asshole for standing by that, at LEAST for now? Is it fair? Or is that too much of a need for people to reasonably accommodate? Am I just not trying hard enough to be better?

If I ever got particularly close to someone again, would I be an asshole for again insisting that if I need reassurance to dismiss an oncoming spiral, they should be able to meet that need instead of asking that I keep the paranoia to myself and just deal with it on my own? Which may or may not work, or even make things worse.

I know it can make people feel like I don't trust them. That much I do understand! But I've tried telling them that it's not that I don't trust or respect them, I don't trust or respect myself. I dunno if that makes sense to anyone without BPD, though.

This is both a "Was I the asshole?" and a "Would I be the asshole?" ask I guess, lol

[crownmemes]

The Godfather Trilogy Sentences, Condensed

(Sentences from The Godfather Trilogy (1972-1990). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"We've known each other for many years, but this is the first time you've come to me for help."

"What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully?"

"A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man."

"Just go outside and enjoy yourself, and forget about all this nonsense. I want you to leave it all to me."

"What are you worried about? If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead already."

"I don't like violence. I'm a businessman, and blood is a big expense."

"I guess I'm getting too old for my job. Too grouchy. I can't stand the aggravation. You know how it is."

"How did things ever get so far? I don't know. It was so unfortunate. So unnecessary."

"Times have changed. It's not like the old days, when we could do anything we wanted."

"I hoped we could come here to reason together, and as a reasonable man, I'm willing to do whatever is necessary to find a peaceful solution to this problem."

"I thought you weren't going to become a man like your father?"

"My father's way of doing things is over. It's finished. Even he knows that."

"Don't tell me you're innocent. It insults my intelligence and makes me very angry."

"There's a lot I can't tell you, and I know that's upset you in the past. You felt it was because of a lack of trust or confidence, but it's because I admire you and I love you that I kept things secret from you."

"If what I think has happened had happened, I'm leaving here tonight."

"You're a great man. There's much I can learn from you."

"I never lie to my friends."

"At this moment, I feel no love for you at all."

"If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything, it's that you can kill anyone."

"Every family has bad memories."

"I will always be your son, but I will never have anything to do with your business."

"Now that you're so respectable, I think you're more dangerous than you ever were."

"I have a problem, and I want to find out if it is my problem or your problem."

"You are what you are. It's your nature."

"Now they'll fear you."

"This deal can make you one of the richest men in the world."

"Never hate your enemies. It affects your judgement."

"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in."

"Your enemies always get strong on what you leave behind."

"You honour your agreements, but these people you are dealing with are crooks. They have no honour."

"If you do this, you won't be able to go back. You'll be like me."

"You should be careful; it's dangerous to be an honest man."

"There are things I'm going to be a part of that you can't be around. After tonight, you won't see me anymore."

[thejesterstears]

Sorry for leaving this rant in your asks, but I'm genuinely so frustrated at the Ragatha hate after episode five. At this point I'm tempted to add "people who villanise Ragatha after the events of episode 4 and 5" to my DNI list (even though like no one reads that).

Also, I've seen a vast majority of the hate directed towards her "Not anymore..." statement, which, when you think about it at first, seems fair. But in her stammered apology didn't she immediately follow it up with "I wasn't talking about-"? I'm pretty sure she was referring to a time in the circus where Jax was nicer and therefore had more friends, but Jax interpreted this as her alluding to "Ribbit". And I think the people who have turned against her because of this are under the impression that she was deliberately bringing up that loss as well. Also, more importantly - she apologized. And she did definitely seem to regret what she said to him. So I really don't believe that her statement was an attempt at "knowingly harassing" him...?

God I don't know what to think anymore. So pissed at the fandom. To be honest, Ragatha is the only reason that I'm interacting with the show right now (although Zooble, Kinger and Pomni, I still have soft spots for - I'm kind of on a rocky side with Gangle just due to the fact that she reminds me of the way I used to be, and my opinion on Jax has definitely soured after all this drama) because I'm not about to just drop an all-time comfort character over this. But God. I think we need to hold a fandom-wide class about learning to take NUANCE with these complicated kinds of characters.

[Again, sorry for leaving this rant here. I was oddly scared to make a post of my own in case it was bombarded by anti-Ragatha interactions (god, the phrase "anti-Ragatha" makes me laugh), aaaand because you've been reblogging a lot of content in her favour, I thought that maybe this would align with that call against the injustice.]

Oh you have my full permission to go off as much as you need because I have been feeling the exact same way. It has been extremely frustrating and annoying to deal with and I was dreading the thought of this happening even before the episode aired knowing people would find a way to villainize her no matter what she did.

And you know, I get being upset with Ragatha for that remark, at least at first. But haven't we all said something that was kind of uncalled for and that we regret once we process that it wasn't right? She did regret it, and she did apologize for it. To be honest the way I interpreted her intended meaning was that maybe she and Jax had been a lot closer than they are now and that she was referring to the two of them specifically not being friends anymore, but at the very least I am very certain she didn't mean it to imply any of Jax's friends who had abstracted, but that was the way he seemed to take it. I know we'll probably get more context for this later but that's my two cents. At any rate I do not think it was a pointed jab meant to mock Jax for his friends no longer being alive. But oh, no, we should all gang up on her for it and meanwhile Jax gets a free pass at gaslighting her into thinking she told Gangle to kill herself while under the Stupid Sauce influence because haha funny.

I completely understand that, and I'm so sorry your fandom experience has been so soured by this. I have to admit I've been feeling the same the last couple of days but the series itself means too much to me to just desert like that because people can't learn how to behave or actually analyze characters on more than just a surface level. I really try to avoid sparking any fandom discourse myself but this is one I have to weigh in heavily on because I'm so angry and tired. We NEED to get better at how we actually read the literature and understand the significance of nuance here.

(You're all good! I do understand that fear, I get nervous to express certain things too for those same reasons but man sometimes it just needs to be said and if it weeds out the worst of the crop, good. But this is definitely a "We Love and Support and Defend Ragatha" house here)

[the-ellia-west]

Dear Tumblr

I don't know what to do. So I'm going to cut out my heart and lay it on the table for you to see under all my lies

-

I hate myself. I don't see anything in me worth loving. I don't know how anyone who is anywhere near me can stand my stupid ass, I don't know what possible purpose God could find for me, though I trust him

And no sorts of compliments or 'I'm your friend', or 'here's all the things I love about you', or 'you love this about me? Why not about yourself?' Is ever going to help me. It makes me smile, but I just believe you don't have good taste. Because all of you are too good for me and I know it's wrong but no amount of words will fix my mind

I'm too afraid for anyone to know that the ONLY reason I haven't jumped off a building is because I believe Jesus has some sort of plan for me.

And I'll be honest, whenever I see my friends interacting happily without me all I can think is that they're having more fun because I'm not there. Which is fucked up, and I'm an ass for thinking I have any impact on anything. My friends have their own lives and I am in no way entitled to their attention or their time or love

I don't know where this came from

But I'm trying my hardest to get rid of it. I like the internet because I can mask all my feelings with an exclamation mark and careful phrasing. I can pretend to be happy and excited when all I am is selfish.

I don't know why I'm like this, but I have some potential contenders

My parents want me to be perfect, and don't like it when I say no or get a grade lower than an A, My friends all like my sister more than me because she's Neurotypical and not fucking annoying, my parents locked me out of the house a few times when I was younger, my mother hit me, my family would always tell me to be quiet because I talk loud when I get excited, no one responds to my points unless I make it very clear I am talking to get my point across in the first place, I've been told I look like a lesbian by two people (I am very much not), I have been told I should feel lucky to have a body like mine by my friends even though they don't know that feeling satisfied with myself is possibly my least favorite feeling in the world for some shit-ass reason, I'm flat as a fucking rock, I can't remember jack-shit, and My family likes to say "Oh, but you used to like that so much," or "you must like this because you used to like this"

I'm not 9 anymore. And I wish you would all stop treating me like I am. Just because I like bubble baths, and sledding, and Sonic, and hapPy endings, and water parks, DOESN'T MEAN I'M A DAMN PRE-SCHOOLER

I hate myself for wanting to punch my sister in the face for being so perfect. And I hate myself for wanting to never see my mother again. And I hate myself for wanting to not pay attention in any of my classes. And I hate myself for not being everything my best friend is, because everything she does makes me hate myself even more because I love her so much and everything she makes is what I always wanted to make, but I'll never be her, and that in itself makes me want to break my skull through a window.

Because I should be happy for her. But I can't.

And I don't think I want to do anything at all anymore. I'll be on Tumblr and I'll post when I feel like it. I just don't give a shit anymore.

I'll reply to DMs if I'm in the mood. I don't care what you interact with. I don't care if you see this. I just thought my friends should know why I'm going to be saying screw it to trying.

I don't want to write anymore

[sodachalice]

Hey Neighbor,

I feel like you might've expanded on this in the past, but your phrasing of "larping d/cbt with facets of themselves" resonated with me. I've personally always felt something that sounds like that, and when I've discussed it with others it seems to be incredibly foreign to them. But I was wondering if you could talk more about your perspective?

yeah sure, but i don't know how helpful mine will be. it feels very basic to me, despite like what you're saying, people tend to be very confused at the idea. to be honest, i was in cbt/dbt through most of my teenhood, as well as regular therapy and psychiatric care. ive spent a good amount of my childhood in the psyche system so i tend to be a bit more familiar with the practices of it than other people, especially due to the fact that the type of therapy i was getting was court mandated and required, not just like. me exhibiting signs and my parents getting me help. there was a very specific idea of "getting me better" before i became an adult.

this caused me to develop a lot of immediate gut reactions to things im doing or immediate responses to my own bodily reactions or emotions, and has frankly made me very scared of my own emotions. i feel like im constantly playing therapist with myself. no you cant do xyz itll cause you to zyx in a few days. no you cant relapse. no that person does not hate you. lets walk through dbt sheets that tell you this person doesnt want you dead until you calm down. etc etc etc. that said though this process is really stressful for me, and it was a lot worse when i was younger.

growing up the way i coped with that is i would split my idea of myself in two, the one that was "bad" and the one that was "good" and would then spend days imagining them together or writing fanfics about the "Good" one healing the "bad" one in which ever way the bad one needed healing. i imagine these were like childhood hurt/comfort fantasies, they often latched onto fictional characters and was connected to my idea of kinning. for example: i would imagine myself as psii on dualscars ship after everything with the HIC, and i would write about and imagine how dualscar could save him and rescue him from brain washing and severe physical trauma and isolation. dualscar was the prime candidate because he was rich and politically powerful, which meant i could imagine him caring for Psii in literally any way possible, and see what would actually work for Psii and help him recover. Psiis trauma just happened to be very metaphorical for my own trauma, so making metaphorical parallels was very easy, especially with my very self indulgent aus.

this then eventually hit a break when i was in my late teens when i stopped believing in kinning and realized that it was all a fantasy that i had created myself. but the problem is my brain is still formed like that, that is still how i know how to actively process my emotions. i don't know how to do it any other way. so a lot of my young adulthood along with recovery has been me trying to find another creative outlet i can latch onto for a similar effect- it was really helpful! i just wish i could figure out how to be that creative and willing to dream as much as i did, without it directly impacting my functional reality. because frankly, my functional reality is worse than it was when i had those coping mechanisms, even if im not in a bad situation anymore.

over years ive realized this has essentially become a giant process where i use my own characters to process my emotions, either in pairs or with multiple characters at once. sometimes i do it on purpose. if im struggling really badly with an issue in real life, ill find one of my ocs who is struggling with the same issue (or make a new one if i havent got one) and then imagine myself or one of their friends, or therapist, or an omnipotent talkshow host essentially doing impromptu DBT/CBT sessions with the character, speaking to them in ways i know they would be responsive to (because i made them) to see how the character responds and reacts to the stimuli. this is connected to the fact that I have DID, as this process is extremely similar to making alters/alter communication. maybe thats all that it is. i dont know, the line between ocs and kins and DID is very blurry, especially for me. anyways. i don't know if this is exactly what you were expecting but its a breakdown of why i do the thing i do and what purpose it serves

jury is my favorite one right now because he's my "problem child" oc. im someone who experiences a lot of pride and security in my identity as a disabled person, but as i get older and the reality sets in that this is forever, i find myself getting more and more scared about how disabled i really am. jury is sort of like that, jury was blinded as a child in a way that gave him intense chronic pain and due to his upbringing has developed into a very very bitter angry volatile person. while i dont relate to his personality, i do relate to his anger towards the world for abandoning him and his understandings due to his disability, and his issues with lack of autonomy and the ability to live for yourself. i spend a lot of time "playing" with him and "talking" to him where i essentially try to come up with solutions to make him happy without erasing his disability. sometimes the things i write about him surprise me, because while i hadnt felt it conciously, sometimes ill write him to have a speech that rexsonates with me in ways i wasnt expecting. i do this with most of my ocs

[riddlesnap]

Your Muse's greeting methods; insp.

Hostile: Edward's disposition is downright aggressive towards those he has hostile relations with, both passive and verbally. Gone are any pretences about civility and charm; the mask (and gloves) are off, Edward not hesitating to unleash a venomous diatribe against those who've done him wrong - or those he's perceived to have done him wrong. He won't curse or use slurs but he'll definitely use some form of colourful language, painting his victim with all kinds of insulting phrases denigrating absolutely everything he hates about them in that moment and like many narcissists, Edward has the uncanny ability of honing in on people's insecurities, hitting them where it hurts. Neutral: Others are spoken to in cool, formal tones. They are usually addressed by their surname (or title if Edward knows it) otherwise he may use whatever snappy terms comes to mind. He's still his insufferable self, projecting a strong front in order to dominate the narrative and take control of the situation and isn't shy about letting those he's speaking with know exactly who they're dealing with, what he's expecting of them and so on. He's polite in the most dickish way possible, and if he thinks less of the person he's speaking with (which is often), he may slip in rude or back-handed compliments, all the while taking pleasure in the idea of mentally running rings around them. Friendly: When it comes to friendly relations, Edward is noticably more affable. His charm factor scrolls right up to eleven even if it's fake as all hell, Edward unafraid of feigning interest in whoever's talking to him in that moment. He has fantastic recollection which only adds to his offensive charm but like most of his interactions it's all very superficial. He can grow to like people, albeit if they're useful, amusing or interesting in some particular way but he can be fickle at the same time, changing his opinion like the weather. Peers are treated with at least some attempt at respect, Edward wanting to know exactly how he can help. Romanced: Let's be honest here; Edward doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. To be more precise, he doesn't have a healthy perspective of romance. He knows the typical words and gestures one might expect in a relationship, to know how to cajole and charm his way into another's heart but it's all very superficial at the end of the day. He doesn't know how to love, at least not honestly and there will always be something a little off about the way he acts, as though he's not sure what he's doing or what he even wants out of this. He can be very charming what with being a narcissist but make no mistake, he comes first. On the flip side, if Edward DOES manage to develop genuine feelings for another, suddenly it's a very different story. It's clear he doesn't know what he's doing, what to make of his feelings for this person who has suddenly become a fixture of interest in his big old world. He may study them with the curiosity of a scientist studying an anomaly in their field, obsessively noting every little reaction, mentally jotting down every last crumb of infomation he can pick up about them and doubly so if they are an intellectual figure of some sort. Potentially this can go very poorly due to his narcissistic tendancies - he's found out everything there is to know about them and his curiosity is sated. He doesn't need them anymore, unless they are useful or entertaining in other self-serving ways. It's honestly very difficult for him to get past the idea that other people aren't just objects to use for his benefit, that they have thoughts and feelings too. With the right person at the right time, Edward may come out of his shell, develop some sort of genuine affection for them but it'll take a LOT of time, effort and hurt feelings on both sides as he struggles to contend with his warped outlook on the world and how to relate to others in healthier ways.

Tagged by: I don't remember, steal it?

[notmorbid]

sweetlust.

dialogue prompts from sweetlust: stories by asja bakić.

i tend to expect the worst of people.

shit. i'm even competitive about intimate feelings.

i haven't even started and i've already lost.

i don't care what i look like. i just want to survive.

do you want to eat me?

you sound like a precocious child.

you're different. better.

sex can't rehabilitate anyone.

fear is essential to survival. the body fears with reason.

i don't like crying in public.

this place brings out the worst in all of us.

a destructive idea can be more dangerous than bacteria.

am i the beauty or the beast?

what do you look like when you have no audience?

sadness can't be turned off like a computer.

i have complete confidence in you.

you never come home empty handed, even when you should.

out of sight, out of mind.

is there somewhere i could rest?

i can't explain why, but please listen.

some dreams have the quality of memory.

i called you, but you didn't pick up.

motherhood, more than anything else, personifies death.

if this is motherhood, i never want to be a mother.

what are you thinking about right now?

even in winter, life has to go on.

i've been lying my entire life.

i don't know what i'm feeling.

there's always been space for you.

'for the greater good' is such a tired phrase.

abstract ideas have concrete consequences.

you've gone silent again.

you blame your mother for everything but global warming.

i look like a villain. i know that.

i don't even know where you're from.

i could have helped you, but i didn't want to.

no one wants to get out of here more than i do.

i don't trust people who don't lie.

you have scruples. that's your biggest weakness.

i can't remember ever laughing so hard.

what's your name? can i at least know that?

i wasn't completely honest.

it's not appropriate to swear.

stay. the bed's big enough for the both of us.

no one who sees the future clearly can believe in god.

you're not stupid. you just act like it.

i want you to fully know me.

i don't want to play house.

everyone suffers. you're not the only one.

i won't tell you how to feel.

you know how much i hate that word.

there's no reason to lie anymore.

[l-michalska-writer]

Bookplots from "Scars from your knives" pt.1

Perhaps i should phrase myself better. You. Wont. Lay. A. Single. Finger. On. Her.

Yes, we used to know each other. But now I am someone you dont even recognize.

I’m not gonna fall for this.

It’s not your fault I cant be what you need.

Loving you is a losing game.

Giving us up didnt take a lot I see.

There are certain things about you i chose to ignore.

Why am I still here and waiting for us to happen?

I know youre not listening.

I cant even look at you.

Its better to love you from a distance.

I knew that this was gonna happen.

You’ll bleed just to know youre alive.

What should we do with this pretty liar?

I bet shes just your type.

If i’m being honest, i no longer know what was true and what was a lie.

All you did was take.

How many drinks would it take to forget you?

Just tell me what’s on your mind.

You made your bed now in it you lay.

My past is past. Yours doesnt seem to be.

Dont let your past be an excuse for your present failures.

You cant be serious…

You asked me once if there was anything I could not forgive you. I guess we finally found out what it is.

Theres no going back, theres no undoing what you did.

Nobodys feeling sorry for you.

The silence between us is defeaning.

This pain is a big part pf who i am.

„Please, I need your help.” „you would have to make it worth my while.”

Just love me like you were supposed to.

I’m done carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Young people fall for the wrong people guess my one was you.

In the end theres no love.

I keep forgetting theres no love between us anymore.

I love you and I hate you at the same time.

I’m terrified by the price there is to pay.

„They say she’s gone too far this time.” „and they’re right.”

Im just gonna call you mine.

I see it in your eyes, you don't believe a word I say...

I hate him for what he did to you.

When did you get so deadly?

Suddenly it's hard to breathe...

[sirravenous2]

First allow me to state a fact:

I will not respond to any comments on this, it's my opinion & I'm just sharing & don't have an opinion on anyone's opinion of My President!

My position on Donald Trump:

Make no mistake ... I'm not posting this for debate.

I don’t seek or need commentary.

It's okay if you don't agree because we are ALL entitled to our own opinions & you can Also just keep scrolling.

Just consider this ... When you think the President is a jerk; he is.

He’s a fucking New Yorker ... a QUEENS New Yorker.

He’s crude and can be rude.

He gets his feelings hurt & he’s a hothead.

He hits back - harder! He's made mistakes morally, personally, and professionally - who of us hasn't?!?

Certainly he's done things I don't agree with - all politicians have & oh my fuckin god. still do!

The media hates it when he tweets. Lol!

Why? Because he goes around the mainstream media & gets HONEST information out that they don’t want to report.

Let me tell you what else:

He is a guy who demands performance. If you don't work as hard as he does, you're fired!

He is a guy who asks lots of questions.

The questions he asks aren’t cloaked in fancy “political” bullshit phrases ... they are “why the hell ...” questions.

He doesn't structure his phrases so that anyone can misconstrue or misinterpret what he says in facts.

He is abrupt & to the point ... how many of us are the same way every day?

I know I am.

He is both harsh & kind ... most disciplinarians are.

For decades the health industry has thrown away billions of face masks after one use. Trump asks,

“Why the hell are we throwing them away"? Why not sterilize them & use them numerous times?”

They called him stupid. But what are they doing now?

Sterilizing face masks. Lol!

He’s the guy who gets hospital ships readied in one week when it would have taken loser greedy bureaucrats weeks or months to get it done.

He’s the guy who gets temporary hospitals built in three days. They said there was no way he could do it. Hahaha!

He’s the guy who gets auto industries to restructure to build ventilators in a business that’s highly regulated by agencies that move like our congress, sloths.

He’s the guy who asks, “Why aren’t we using drugs that might work on people who are dying; being killed slowly by big greedy pharma.

"What the hell do we have to lose"?

He’s the guy who restricted travel from China when the stupid Democrats and hateful liberals & liberal media were screaming “xenophobia” and “racist” ...

Now they’re wanting to know why he didn't react sooner.

Smfh...

He’s the guy who campaigned on securing the border - protecting America - in the face of screaming idiot Democrats & the liberal media.

Both Clinton and Obama talked about a crisis at the border & Obama did some things to address the crisis, but they all proved to be just more bullshit talk & definitely insufficient.

When Trump shut down borders in the midst of the coronavirus virus, they screamed louder.

Then the rest of the world followed suit, including the European Union with travel between their member countries.

Hahaha!

His policy is always 'America First'!

For many years we have complained about sending billions abroad while Americans suffer here.

I have for sure.

He's minimized that outflow of money!

Not anymore bullshit ass kissing aid!

Has he made mistakes? Yes.

EVERYONE I know has and does, we're all just people.

The “experts” wouldn’t & haven’t done any fuckin better! Fact!

Does he change his mind?

Yes, & he's allowed to, I mean who doesn't?

Trump is working harder than I’ve ever ever seen a President work ... twenty-four-hour days

Even when they complain that he takes vacations, he's really still at work ...

Mar-a-Lago ... working.

He isn’t hiding in his office ... never trying to avoid anyone, he’s out front - briefing, answering countless, nonstop questions - every day!

When Trump offers hope, they say he’s lying; and when he’s straight forward, they say he should be hopeful. Smh..

It’s a no-win situation with the mainstream media and the energized nonsense hate from left-wing liberals, but he will not be deterred!

Thank God!

And when the mainstream & social media trolls gaslight with false doctored

"soundbites",

Just look at the true whole context ... it's almost always a completely different picture than what's being painted!

Come on, jeeze!

I’ll take this kind of fucking leadership eight days a week & twice on Sunday, over a “polished, lying fake nice guy” politician who reads prepared speeches from a teleprompter & answers pre-scripted for certain questions.

Finally.

I’ll take him any day over any of our politicians.

I’m so fuckin proud to have him as My true American President!

I’m confident he will get us, America back on the course we need to be on to be a strong self reliant country again!

Like it was before corrupt elites started talking about social security & population control & dumbing down America's children with A rich wealthy pricks ideas (Rothschild or J. P. Morgan), to indoctrinate a school curriculum that doesn't teach anyone anything to do with truth & history & real intellect!Thank God, & thank you Mr. President, Mr Donald Trump, for your love of our people & our country!

He is my Motherfuckin President. ❤🇺🇸💯

I don't care what anyone else thinks on this opinion.

You can share this if you agree.

If you don't agree, that's okay, too.

We are all entitled to our opinions, & this is MINE.

And I will not respond or reply to anyone commenting on this post with good or bad opinions of My opinion or My President!

Thank you.

Or not .? ..

[dalmascan-requiem]

Weirdly Specific Questions (Part 1)

A while back, I saw this post about Weirdly Specific But Helpful Character Building Questions, and I decided... hey, why not. I'll answer all of the questions for both of the boys. All of them.

Turns out that'd take a while. I think I've been working on this for over a year? Anyway, I'm finally done, and this was a lot of work so I'm not just going to keep it to myself, lol.

I'm breaking the questions down into groups of 10 to make this infinitely more readable.

[ Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 ]

And also, things are color-coded so I didn't need to type names out every time:

[ Kris | Laurent | Both | OOC Note ]

Alright then, let's get started:

What’s the lie your character says most often?

~ Goodness, there are a lot of lies… I suppose the one Kris repeats most often is that he's an adventurer. It's a good cover story so people don't dig into his past before being WoL, but he was never an adventurer.

~ Laurent doesn't really lie. He's a pretty honest person. I suppose not mentioning he was an assassin is a lie by omission.

How loosely or strictly do they use the word ‘friend’?

~ Neither really use it a lot–when they do, they really mean it, though.

How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?

~ Kris generally hides his feelings of concern/worry/fear to most people, he's the very essence of confidence, whether that is in an overt manner or more of a quiet confidence (when he's WoL). Only the audience (and sometimes Laurent) knows about the insecurity.

~ Laurent doesn't really show his emotions, and while Kris is good at reading his mood, very few people know what's going on with him. He's very reserved, so his inner monologues are only known to the audience.

What’s a hobby they used to have that they miss?

~ Dancing! Kris just doesn't get to do it too often anymore. (Laurent is also a good dancer so it's not about the lack of a dance partner, just the lack of opportunities.)

~ When Laurent was a Wood Warder, he would whittle! Moving to a desert city made that a bit harder to do, and he just hasn't bothered until he was older again.

Can they cry on command? If so, what do they think about to make it happen?

~ Neither can, nor do they cry a lot in general. Not from lack of emotion, but more that it takes a lot for them to need that catharsis crying brings.

What’s their favorite [insert anything] that they’ve never recommended to anyone before?

~ Despite being a great cook, Kris rarely recommends particular foods to people, and he never recommends they eat curry (his favorite). He'll still cook curry and share it, but he won't recommend someone try anyone else's curry nor will he mention the recipe he uses is his favorite.

~ If you ask Laurent to recommend anything, ever, he'll go into Social Anxiety Panic Mode and never recommend anything for fear it wouldn't be the "right" call. So… everything. His favorite everything.

What would you yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend and/or romantic partner yell?

~ The problem with Kris is that if he thinks someone is trying to find him, calling out for him will just make him hide even more, even if it's not malicious. He's like a skittish cat. He likely didn't get lost on accident, so best to just let him find his way back to you eventually.

~ Pretty much anyone could go "oh my god is that a litter of kittens? They're SO CUTE" and look for the man with the bunny ears quickly fleeing the location

How loose is their use of the phrase ‘I love you’?

~ Not loose at all. They'll only use it with people they genuinely care about and consider family.

Do they give tough love or gentle love most often? Which do they prefer to receive?

~ Depends on the situation, though mostly on the gentle side. He says he prefers gentle love but responds better to tough love lol

~ He gives tough love and prefers gentle love.

What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity?

~ Whatever the most embarrassing (but benign) fact he knows about Laurent at the time.

~ He's not one to just tell anyone stuff, but if Laurent knows someone well enough and they mention anything about floriography or botany they better have a place to sit down

[bpdconfessions]

Hi, I'm sorry if this isn't the right place but I don't know where is. My fp (this is a phrase I have recently learned, apologies if I am using it wrong) is a woman I have been sort of seeing. And she has decided she doesn't want to speak to me anymore. I tried being honest about how I was feeling neglected while dealing with a serious health scare that is ongoing, and she just got hung up on the language I used while explaining, called me abusive, and hasn't spoken to me in days.

She has been very kind to me. I'm 6 years younger than her, and I've never been with another woman older than me. She has a good job, and I am unemployed, so I've always felt a bit inadequate for her and try my best to seem normal and busy and like a real person. Only, after we had already had sex twice, she decided to tell me that actually, she was already in a relationship with another woman, one that was nine years deep and allegedly open. And then that relationship ends via text while she's explaining this on my couch. I haven't seen her since, but I have since decided that while this was a significant breach of my trust, what the fuck am I going to do? Find someone else who can stand me? Highly unlikely. And if I can tolerate her lying to me and making me a participant in the misery of another woman, then maybe just maybe she'll stay when things get bad, right? Because she's gonna owe me, right?

No. Last time I had a spiral, I said she was just gonna be like everyone else and leave. Just like all my exes and friends who got to know me too well and saw the real me. It's what always happens. I get too comfortable, I relax and let down my guard, people see the real me, they leave. The endless cycle. She told me she wasn't any of those people. And then two weeks later she's called me abusive and won't speak to me. I don't even really understand what I did wrong.

I don't know what I'm gonna do now. This is basically it for me. I've run out of friends, they all collectively decided they don't want me around. My power gets shut off on Friday. I've ruined my life and now I've run out of ideas and people to beg for help. Even my own family want nothing to do with me. My own father thought i was so evil that he voluntarily chose to die alone of a terminal disease than just speak to me. And after how I treated him, I'm not surprised. And now I'm exhibiting symptoms of what he had and I'm most likely going to die alone anyways. Can't go to a doctor for good reasons so I can't even know for sure until it gets worse. Nobody is going to be there for me. Nobody wants me around, and I don't want to be around either, really.

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Oh my god. this is unspeakably rough. If anybody has advice for OP, comment. OP, from me, I'd say that you're not going to die alone. You are going to make it.

[atopvisenyashill]

another dotd/hotd ask, do you think book! alicent truly cared about rhaenyra in her youth? was she genuinely trying to help her, especially with her quote about Criston?

And sub-question, do you think nyra and alicent would have had a falling out even she had been honest about the brothel and such?

I do think book Alicent cared about her! I think when she married Viserys, she expected her son would be named heir over Rhaenyra, and she would be able to ~graciously~ offer a match either between her son and Rhaenyra, or between Rhaenyra's children and her own. I think there's a high chance Alicent felt a sort of duty to look after Rhaenyra; she's the motherless princess, the realm's delight, there's no reason to be hostile towards her at all. I think she might have imagined herself as some sort of savior for Rhaenyra; a protector from the court of vipers that are eager to use Rhaenyra for their own devices. The moment Aegon isn't named however, I think Alicent's switch up is immediate and complete; she can't be a mentor to what she feels is a political rival and threat to her son, nor can she stand the idea that she may have to throw herself on Rhaenyra's mercy. The idea that Rhaenyra may ~graciously~ offer her own match is I think what drives Alicent particularly crazy; for Alicent, the power has to rest in her own hands and anything else is unacceptable.

I go back and forth about the brothel. Honestly, if Rhaenyra was thinking straight, she would have framed the whole thing as Daemon corrupting her poor sweet innocence with his very presence. Yes I am saying I think she should have doubled down on the gaslighting here. But it's like....Alicent comes to her hot and expecting the whole truth when they are not that close anymore, a truth that could - and people love to forget this!! - get Rhaenyra's head lopped off. Fucking Cole is a harder sell, and to be honest it's like....idk why Alicent thinks she's gonna say the truth like that right out in the open?

Anyways, if EYE was Rhaenyra I would have thrown Daemon under the bus hardcore for leaving my ass high and horny, then I would have invited Alicent to my room later on and been like "so I fucked Cole when I got home" and tried to damage control. It's much better that Alicent learns this information from Rhaenyra than Cole, and I think if Rhaenyra would spin it as "i don't know who to trust, everyone wants to use me for my claim or drag me to their castle to be nothing more than a lady and not the queen, but Cole is sworn to me, he has no other loyalties, but you're right, it was a dumb mistake influenced by Daemon, I need him gone post haste" I think Alicent takes it better. Alicent is clearly empathetic to marriage problems, and doesn't understand that Viserys is not actually giving her free reign to pick a husband. I think once Alicent realizes this - she's not stupid, I don't think it would take a lot of convincing from Rhaenyra! - she is willing to forgive Rhaenyra & hear her out a bit more. The thing is, Rhaenyra has got to play up the victim card here or it doesn't work - she needs to phrase it in such a way as to put full responsibility on Daemon while admitting she was "lead astray" because she has no idea who to pick for her husband.

Also fucking fire Cole the moment it comes out that he snitched to Alicent. Like does he think this is a fucking game they could die for this.