#I'm mentally healthy and well ordered

[clementineskesh]

*Cautiously peeking my head up* no fanfiction tabs open on my phone....am I. Free? Is it over?

[mellosdrawings]

The Princes

Ten years later. When marrying a Prince turns a Queen and a Servant into actual Royalties.

Because Vil deserves a real crown and Jamil deserves to be treated better.

NOW I'M GONNA RANT ABOUT MY CHARA DESIGNS CHOICES AND ALL THE DISCOVERIES I MADE WHILE LOOKING FOR REFS! If you only care about art and funny doodles, you can scroll down for a handful of slices of life.

(Don't worry if you can't read my notes, I'm repeating myself better right under this)

Leona

-Lion: As you may know, one of my grievances with Leona is how his hair doesn't look like an actual mane despite being a lion. While I don't want to stray too far from the canon design with the usual drawings, that's the occasion for me to have some fun with a future version. Give that lion a beard and voluminous hair!

-Hair: First, get those bangs out of his face. Despite Leona being very confident, he still has bangs covering his scarred eye. I wanted him to finally own the aspects of him that may be scary to others (his UM, his scar, etc). I actually went with bangs framing his face similar to the ones he had during his Overblot. I wasn't sure whether to give him dreadlocks or curly hair, but I ended up choosing the free curls decorated with some atebas and braids so that Vil could have more fun styling them.

-Eye: Thanks @aria-faye for the idea, I decided to have his eye gradually lose its capacities with time. From a headcanon that, while the eye wasn't directly touched by whatever attack scarred him, the process of healing still had an impact on it and he gradually lost sight in his left eye years after years.

-Body: Not giving him a dad bod (yet, maybe in another ten years), but definitely giving him more voluminous yet casual muscles. Practical muscles with a healthy dose of fat and tissues. Also giving him two full sleeves of tattoos because I decided he should have much more than just his lion tattoo.

-Clothes: Went full Maasai dressing and Kenyan fabrics and beadworks. If you're not familiar with it, please go check it out, it's GORGEOUS!! Crown is beadwork too. He also has one Arabic styled foot jewellery.

Jamil

-Hair: My first order was to remove his double-faced hairstyle and also remove his bangs from his eye. Make him confident enough to show his whole face. Unlike Leona and Vil, he doesn't really want a crown though (he still feels weird about becoming royalty) so instead he uses a braid as crown. Also gave him a little goatee because I like facial hair and Jafar has a beard too.

-Body: He grew up! While he didn't quite catch up with Leona and Vil, he is now closer to their sizes than before, sitting at around 180cm. He kept his breakdancer/martial artist lean muscles but developed a bit of shoulders.

-Clothes: Went full Arabic dressing and fabrics (once more, go check the fabrics, they are pieces of arts). I gave him floral motifs instead of his usual fire/snake motifs (though he does have a snake earring and a fangs necklace) to symbolise his rebirth/blooming. Like Leona, he has one piece of jewellery that is beadwork.

Vil

-Hair: Here it was a bit tricky. Considering Vil's work, he likely changes hairstyles a lot, going from long to short for his roles instead of his wants. So I leaned into the little things he could add to his hair despite their constant changes, mostly jewelleries, beadworks and wool decorations he stole from his husbands. He also cares a bit less about them looking perfect and is allowing himself to be more natural. He doesn't have any facial hair (yet), keeping a youthful appearance for as long as he can. In another ten years though, he might start looking more and more like his father, beard included.

-Clothes: For Leona and Jamil's mental states, the three of them most likely started living in Sunset Savanna so they wouldn't freeze to death. Vil is well traveled so he can handle most temperatures without trouble, and he is used to dressing up in the local get ups. Here I decided to give him both African dress and Arabic fabric, and likewise both beadwork and golden jewellery. I gave him crown and heart motifs so he can keep being himself despite borrowing a lot from his husbands.

There, I'm done rambling. Here's some doodles, followed by some random headcanons.

-Vil does his husbands hair every morning and keeps giving them more and more intricate hairstyles. He developed a whole haircare and beard-care products set for them.

-When Vil is away for a movie, Jamil keeps his hair mostly down save for a few accessories.

-Jamil and Falena get along surprisingly well (to Leona's despair). Vil gets along very well with Falena's wife.

-Jamil acts as a Scalding Sands ambassador and still is the one to care for Kalim when he comes to visit, though this time he's doing it because he wants to and not because he has to.

-Vil got used to his new title immediately but Jamil struggles with it a lot. He still has a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that he is no longer a servant.

-The servants at the palace love Jamil because he always makes their job easier.

-Leona finally decided to put his wits to good use and became Falena's advisor. He still fights a lot with Kifaji about the direction to take with the country, but he managed to make some of his ideas heard to help with the staggering inequalities in the country.

That's all for now!

[kenwio]

Joker's kid! Reader and their hair adventures

Route: recovered dove

Masterlist | previous part | next part (coming soon)

Author's note: I finally did it! All the requests about Joker's kid and their hair journey are here! Hope I`ve done good enough ;3 This week was valentines Day. I know I'm late for it, bu I hope it went well for you ^-^

Warnings: Grammar (as usual), psychological trauma, triggers

Adjusting to the manor, getting alone with family, building friendship with Chlory, and attending therapy : all of those things improved your mental health greatly. On one of your session your therapist brought up the idea that you should find a healthy way to express yourself, as any kid should try at least, that you can experiment and showing your personality through your appearance, and to find your own style and after soke thought you decided to give it a shot.

You could try to wear colorful clothes, but you liked dark color scheme that you've seen your family (except Dick) preferred to wear and which you also picked up , besides every time you see purple and green clothes you feel uncomfortable. As for the style of clothes, you liked them relaxed comfortable and soft, so your style,.if you could say so, was exactly that, relaxed. The thought of body modifications went straight out of a window, you had enough of experiments on your body and enough experience with syringes your body for now. Makeup was..  to hard, you were still adjusting holding crayons, what to say about brushed. Besides, makeup had so many things and rules, styles that you didn't really catch up with. And so you decided that you should try to dye your hair. You knew you would NEVER dye your hair green! You don't want to have anything connected to the nightmare of your life anymore. But you remember your mom had tips of her hair colored, one of which was pink.

So you did some research on how to dye hair, types of dyes, techniques, and all the things. Although you had some vague memories of how your biological father dyed your hair, you can remember how the process was painful, you remember your mom told you that when she dyed her hair it, didn't hurt. A few times, she was able to dye your hair instead of Joker. She did so without hurt. Maybe this memory also made you more inclined to dye your hair. Maybe this way, you would still have some connection to her. Back to your new perception of hair dye, it wasn't that hard since you caught up on chemical reaction in the root of the process quickly. After reading about different types of hair dyes and different ingredients in them, you found one that was a good choice for you. The problem was how to get them.

Although you already brought up the idea of dyeing your hair to Alfred, you did not introduce your dad to the idea, and you had no idea how Bruce would react. And although Alfred was supportive of your idea (he was happy to know you found a courage to express yoursekf and joked that he would be happy too see something bright and not dangerous at the same time in the manor) you were not sure of Bruce.

You told him about you wanting to try dye your hair on the way to your therapy session. Although he knew you had a decision about it with therapy, he was still surprised to hear it. He gently asked you for your reasoning, and to your surprise on the way back, he took you to buy few hair dyes that was good quality and safe (he did all necessaryr esearch while waiting you) and haircare products which was good quality and suited for dyed hair. After Alfred helped you cut your hair in style you wanted, you began the process of hair coloring. You diligently followed instructions, coloring your strands in the right order, trying not to mess anything up. After you washed excessive dye and dryed your hair, you got your result. Your hair was pink, but not as bright as you thought (you knew about hair bleach, but you decided not to risk it), but you loved it. It was a cute color and a bit peachy.

Chlory, who was first to see you, couldn't contain her amazement repeating cute and loud "I am Chlory" over and over. The second who saw you, was Damian, who heard how loud  Chlory and instantly went to check on you, hoping  that you are okay (thought he would never admit it), and when he entered your room he was startled. He remembers you having your natural color of hair, one which he was used to, so seeing you with new hair color was .... surprising. He had to stare at you for a few seconds until you turned to look at him questionably

- Are you trying to make a statement? - he asked, a sharper than intended

- uh - you hesitated - no? Why?

- your hair ... it's different.. interesting. - he said, staring a few more seconds and walking away, leaving you confused.

Your family learned about your adventure soon enough, and all of them were accepting. While Jason was more surprised (silently praying it wasn't connected to the rebel phase (he had one so bad, and he was concerned for yours would be worse)). Dick was happy to know you started expressing yourself. He showered you with praises, saying how adorable you were, and you really were since you seemed more happy now and helped you do various hairstyles. For him, your cuteness went higher up, and his awe with you went to new levels. He also was happy to discuss with you what hair color you should try next. As for Tim, he was the one who notced that now you opened your obsession, connected to having all color's of hair dyes possible (except green), and he kinda enables it, showing you new tones and limited collections, leading to your bathroom becoming filled with dyes. You seem happy, so he is happy for you.

As your pink hair began to fade, you decided to go with the next color your mom had in her hair - blue. And, at first, it seemed fine. Sure, color turned out to be more turquoise than on the label, but it was fine. What you didn't expect is for color of your hair to wash out so quickly and suddenly. At first, you thought nothing of it. But one evening after the shower, when you saw yourself in the mirror, you saw green in your hair. It suddenly was hard and painful to breathe. Your heart hurt your ribs. The bathroom seemed to get smaller. You couldn't tear your eyes away. You swear you heard him. You couldn't move. You couldn't run or hide.

You skipping dinner made family worried. And they all decided to check on you to find you sobbing hard, breaking down. Jason and Tim were the first ones to get what was wrong and what triggered you... green in your hair. While Bruce and Dick helped you calm down, they exchanged a quick conversation, which led you to the moment: once you calmed  down they acted instantly, knowing you don't need trigger (and they too), so here you were, sitting on the floor of Tim's bathroom with him next to you, and Jason on the edge of the bath . Tim is showing you blue hair dye, which fades to purple while instantly sending Dick to buy it, and Jason prepares your hair for the next coloring. You three spend the entire evening together (as a squad of kids who were danaged by Joker) working on your hair and leading it back to blue, and also talking lots. After that, and other's returning from patrol an emergency movie night was arranged starring yout favorite documentary, and while Bruce fall asleep holding you, few others went soon, leaving you and Damian to have a good and long discussion about film.

Your hair journey went on, featuring all the colors (even black for the connection with bats), different haircuts, hair dyeing done by all family, and more happy memories. You took the roud and you've certainly liked it

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Thank you for reading! Feel free to let me know what you think about my work! Hope you have a good day 💖

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Author's note 2 : it was only my first week back in studying field, but I alredy have so much work, I'm alredy tired, and I managed to get sick... I hope to post every week or every two weeks. Life is chaotic, but i will try my best to deal with it. And here i want to thank you all for your support, it means a lot to me 💖

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if i forgot someone or anyone want to be added please let me know

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[frownyalfred]

Clark: Kon's not my child! I'm not his father! I had nothing to do with the choice to bring him to the world- my DNA was STOLEN.

Bruce: ...Clark, that... doesn't change anything. I would know.

_

Seriously speaking, how do you feel about that specific aspect of Clark's characterization?

I think he and Bruce have more in common than he realizes, yeah. Both of them had to reckon with a child they didn’t know about. And for both of them, that child wasn’t a baby — Kon and Damian were both older! Already well on their way to being full adults.

But where they diverge is how they step up. I think it was easier for Bruce in many ways, in that he already had raised kids, already had that infrastructure in place both physically and mentally. And while learning so late about Damian was a betrayal by Talia in many ways, they coparent well from a distance — Damian isn’t caught between them often. They are civil. They both want what’s best for him.

Kon is a slightly different story. He was older, his other dad is Lex Luthor and that relationship is absolutely antagonistic. It’s not a betrayal simply because Clark at no point trusted Lex at all. And despite having the ability to do so…he does not react well, in most canon instances, to Kon’s initial appearance. He panics, he rejects him, and he cannot move past the fact that it happened at all. (Again, depends on the canon). Sometimes he recovers, sometimes it takes a while.

But yeah your point about Bruce above is absolutely spot on — it doesn’t matter how it happened, Clark. It just matters that it did. There’s now a kid depending on you. Like it or not. They’re blameless, too — they had no say in the matter either!

I’ve always wanted to write a fic where Bruce talks Clark through that — validates his hurt and still doesn’t allow his best friend to reject an innocent child. But he also lets Clark be human (heh), be vulnerable, be emotional in a space far away from Kon, because that’s important too. He needs to process in order to step up. Bruce had Alfred, and Dick, and other people to help him when Damian popped up. So Clark needs someone too. Expecting him to suck it up and be 100% perfect and accepting about Kon with 0 hesitation isn’t healthy either.

[writingoddess1125]

The old men of One Piece finding out they have a child with you. Pt. 2

Due to popular demand I have a part two for you guys!

Shanks, Buggy, Mihawk xFemreader

Healthy Mix of Angst and Fluff

Support me on Ko-Fi

Part 1 <- -> Part 3

Buggy

The crew was quick to follow orders, Cabaji grabbing you as others grabbed your sons. Dragging you from the restaurant you called a home and out onto the streets, screamed fill the air as the village was being ripped apart. Your boys crying out in fear as the crew harshly brought you onto the ship you once were apart of.

You yelped as you were thrown into Buggy's room. Your boys being tossed in as well, you quickly grabbed Dee and Bee and brought them to your chest. Running your hands through their hair as they sobbed against you, shaking like a leaf and terrified.

"Ssshh it's okay my loves it's okay" you whisper trying to soothe them, holding them tightly to try and ward away the bad dream. After a few hours they finally fell asleep, You carefully rolling up and placing them on Buggy's large bed. It wouldn't be best to let them sleep in your arms since they were fairly large and when asleep could kick and roll. You couldn't risk injury if you were going to escape with the twins.

You tucked them into the big stripped bed and sighed- Surrounded by more of this circus shit made them look way more like Buggy then you cared to admit. Smoothing Dee and Bee wild blue locks with your hand you sighed heavily. Trying to come up with a plan to escape- but the plotting was short lived as the bedroom door opened.

Buggy stared at you and then glanced at the boys as they slept soundly in his bed. He was holding a large tray and set it down on the side table, meeting your eyes as he picked up a fork and took a bite from each both and even a bite of the bread, before taking a seat clearly wanting to show it was safe to eat and feed the children. You looked at the food it was 3 healthy servings of pasta with fresh bread and 3 drinks, 2 milks and a ale. You looked at him in question but you didn't dare voice anything. Instead gently shaking the twins awake-

"Eh? Mom?..." Dee mumbled as he rubbed his sleepy eyes. "Dinner is here" You say calmly, holding a bowl out to Dee who gently took it in his tiny hands before waking up Bee with a bit more force and doing the same. Splitting the bread in half and giving each half to your sons to make sure they had full bellies.

You ate your own food, Watching as the twins hungrily ate there like they hadn't had a meal before, havjng to make sure they didnt mess up the nice bed. However you kept glancing back at Buggy, feeling his eyes on you.

He sat across the room stull, watching you closely as you wiped their faces clean with your dress and handing them their drinks and even taking your own ale and sipping it. You saw Bee wat hibg Buggy closely, the two staring at each other silently.

"What are you looking at Old Man?-" Bee snapped as he glared at Buggy. You snapping your finger quickly at him.

"Attitude-" You hissed in warning. However heard a shuffle to see Buggy snorting a laugh and turning away to giggle-

"Damn these really are my Kids- I was at least 90% sure before but now it's 100%!" He laughed, actually Wiping the tears from his face.

"Mom what is he talking about?" Dee questioned first, raising a brow at the Clown in their room.

"Yeah and whats with hi-" You smacked your hand over your sons mouth. Knowing that the following question would lead to a fight you didn't have the strength for.

"Boys this is your father... Buggy the Clown. He's a Pirate Captian"

"Our Dads a clown-" Bee deadpanned as his face looked at you in what can only be described as confused horror. You sighing mentally by this, as Dee stared at Buggy suspiciously.

"How do we know?-" Dee started, But Buggy pulled the hat from his head and bandana to show his blue locks that were identical to their.

"Our Dads a Clown!?" Bee said again this time

"I'm a porate clown-" Buggy shot back as he frowned at the boy. The two locking in gaze of equal stubbornness and attitude.

Dee started to say"Is that why you took us?" But was cut off gloriously by Bee"If you're our dad then you suck! Why did you grab mom by her hair and make her cry!" He proclaimed, Jumping up on the bed and pointing to Buggy angrily. You urging the boy to sit down, But Buggy's gaze softened.

"I apologize- I didn't see it was her or else I would have never raided you town. Instead just picked you three up to take with me" He admitted calmly. The seemed to take the wind from Bee's sails as he sat back down- You also surprised to hear Buggy apologize or be so vulnerable.

"I want to have you three here with me and be apart of my children's life" Buggy started as he stared at you- You started to protest but he held up a hand.

"60 Days, that's all I ask. If in 60 days you don't want me in their lives I'll drop you and the boys off at a Marine Base with some berry. Enough to be comforble for the rest of your lives"

It was a good deal- a damn good deal. It's not like you had a berry to your name or a place to return to. That and he genuinely seemed interested in the boys, you gave a defeated sigh.

"Alright... 60 days- then we will talk from there" Buggy smiled at hearing you agreeing to this. Excitement shining in his eyes as he jumped up from his seat.

"Perfect! You all rest here. I'll leave and bring some supplies for you all" Buggy said calmly as he stood up and quickly left, a grin plastered on his face as he left you.

You should have known that Buggy was planning something. For the next 3 days it was like he turned the ship into a child's dream. There was suddently a absurd about of toys, sweets, every game imaginable too seemed to have suddently appeared. Buggy all to happy to shower the twins in anything they asked for, played any game they wanted.

You inwardly sighed as you watched the twins start to warm up to Buggy, More like clinging to him. Bee seemingly the most interested in him while Dee seemed to just love sailing. Having to be coaxed down from the crows nest were he would hide all day. At the mess hall however is were they fit in the best- It was like Buggy had cloned himself the two perfect best friends, aka himself.

Dee had taken to keeping his hair up due to his time in the crows nest and also had become more confident- pushing his brother back whenever he messed with him a bit too much- As for Bee it was like Buggy 2.0- Loud, flashy and ready to find trouble. It had been only 3 days but so much had changed, Currently it being evening dinner time.

Sitting next to Buggy in the mess hall, who had made it a habit of keeping you close you glared as your son then Buggy who was just laugjing "Benny (Y/L/N) get your monkey ass here right now!" You yelled as you saw your son running down the tables of the mess hall. Singing a made of sea shanty that the rest of the freaks were actually drinking and singing along to.

"Let the boy have some fun (Y/N)! It's not like he's hurting anyone- Besides what's the worse that can happen! Stop with the snooty attitude" Buggy proclaimed with a laugh, you saw Dee get a mischievous look in his eye before slipping under the table. You give a sarcastic smile, knowing your twins all too well.

"Fine then, I won't be snooty for the next hour whatever they damage you gotta clean" You proposes with a smile. He laughed and nodded.

"Deal! Finally now we can have some fu-"

And like a symphony of madness all hell broke lose. Dee had popped put from under the table and grabbed Bee's foot nid step. The singing child falling into a massive bowl of mashed potatos which managed to spray everywhere- coating all the people at the table in potatos and the floor which made a few Crewmates who had been walking slip and slam into tables flinging more food and creating more mess paired with a hunk of cake landing right in Buggy's face. Wiping the frosting as he watched the two boys make a run from the mess hall cackling like two Imps.

"Boys!!" He yelled, trying to wipe more of the pink frosting from his face. You smiled and handed him a napkin.

"Have fun Captian!~" You said with a grin and patted his shoulder as Buggy sat there red faced and glaring at you half heartedly. As if taking your cue, you got up and left. Giggling as you hear Buggy snap at some crewmates to grab something to help clean the mess.

Deciding to take the time for yourself you went to the main deck. Leaning against the rails as you watched the dark waves of the ocean and the setting sun. You couldn't lie and say you didn't miss the ocean, or the time to yourself. You stood there watching as the sun set and plunged the ship into darkness, the lanterns of the ship turning on as well as the ship seemed to be sailing in darkness.

"Enjoying your free time?" A deep voice snapped you from your thoughts. Seeing Buggy walking towards you, his face washed of makeup and hair in a ponytail. Having clearly just bathed after getting the mess hall cleaned.

"Yeah, I forgot how nice it is being on this ship.. How are the boys?" Buggy smiled at hearing you enjoying yourself before shrugging.

"Got them washed up and put them to bed.....They seem to like me" He boated, seemingly proud he had formed such a strong bond.

"That they do" You reply. Watching as he put his hands in his pockets a bit awkwardly, that tough Captian Facade crumbling a bit under his own anxiety.

"(Y/N) Why did you leave?... Was it me? Were you ashamed of me or-" He started, the back of his hand brushing against his nose as the enxiety slammed into his chest.

"What?.. No that's not why I left Buggy- I was scared. How the hell was I suppose to go through pregnancy on a ship? Hell the labor?! That was 36 hours to give birth to both of them!" Buggy winced at the thought, you leaned against the railing and stared at him.

"It was the fact that I couldn't predict how you would react and no idea how to raise a baby here. So in a village with at least some stability seemed like the best option- Even if it ment having to do it alone"

You admit, Buggy messing with his gloved hands. Sadness bleeding through his gaze as he sighed.

"I suppose- I can see your point... but I would have put everything on hold if I knew-" Buggy admitted, before rubbing the back of his head a bit hesitantly.

"You know- We only got 60 days and I've been wanting to take a vacation. Drop off the crew maybe for a bit and I know this really nice island" Buggy said casually. Your eyebrows raising at hearing this- He wanted to stop pirating just for you and the twins?

"What?-" You started but he cut you off quickly. "I mean it would only be a little bit of course- unless something urged me to stay a bit longer. However I think being on the open ocean can be damaging for super long term- I mean the meals can cause scurvy and who knows what else" He quickly justified, even at this distance you could see his ears turning red. You couldn't help but giggle at this, which caught his attention quickly.

"I'd like that Buggy.. But I don't want to take you away from what you love" you say, Watching Buggy take a hesitant step towards you.

"Who knows... 60 days can quickly turn into eternity.. if you want it to.. and i lost what i loved once- Ill never let that happen again" He said locking eyes with you which made you smile brighter.

Shanks

It had been 3 weeks since Shanks arrived- and it had been one journey, The man clearly loved to be a father. Willing to do anything for Vivian, her having the powerful pirate wrapped around her little finger and not even knowing it.

Shanks having let his crew take the time for essentially a vacation on his dime while ge stayed in your guestroom. Excited every morning to wake up and play with his daughter. He bought her so many toys, a chest full of pretty dresses, a giant stuffed monkey and a play wood sword since she had been so interest in his.

She had even taken to tying her favorite green ribbon on his sword since "It looks pretty" and he didn't have the will power to take it off. So for the most part, it had been complete and total bliss.

It was early morning when you heard some loud Noises coming from the kitchen area of your home- Getting up from bed and put on your robe and walked to see what all the noise was.

You stood in the kitchen with a raised eyebrow, the only word fitting this situation was- Hilarious. There sat Shanks, sat on the floor with his back leanes against the oven holding a old muffin. His eyes were covered in a thick layer of green glittery eyeshadow (from your makeup bag) hot red lipstick that was sneered on other parts of his face. Some bows randomly scattered in his red hair. His coat that usually covered his missing arm dropped over your daughter who was still in her baby blue tight gown and she was dragging behind her as she adding things to the spread on the floor. A bag of sugar, some water, a scattering of teabags and whatever had been in the fridge- including half eaten sandwiches and cupcakes which Shanks was currently chewing on.

"Starlight, I don't think there is anyway you can make the wate- I mean tea any sweeter" He said calmly, Watching Vi try to pour more sugar into her little China set with her chubby hands. Shanks cringing a bit at this as she poured him a cup and handed it to him.

"See! Now it's perfect!" She chimed and giggled loudly. He gave a smile as he set aside his muffin and sipped the tea, trying to suppress the cringe from the unholy amount of sugar that was mixed with water and a hint of a poor teabag.

"It's delicious Baby Girl- Fantastic" He choked out, working through a smile as he forced himself to take another sip. You couldn't help bit to laugh, which brought the attention of both Red Heads.

"Mommy!" Vivian chimed loudly running towards you still wearing Shank's cloak and you scooped her up carefully.

"I must say Shanks, you look fabulous" You said with a smile. Shanks Grinning up at you as he sat on the floor.

"I always thought I'd look good in green" He said, Gesturing to the sloppy eyeshadow. Rolling himself up to his feet as he smiled down at you.

"By the way are you ready for today?" You raised a brow-

"Oh boy what do you have planned?" Shanks only gave a wide smile before grabbing a box from the kitchen table and holding up a lovely yellow sundress for you and a similar one for Vivian.

"Fun day out!"

Shanks hadnt beem kidding about a fun day, staring with a lovely resturant on the island, sailing, having in a meadow and then time out at the park the sun started to set. Shanks held Vivian who was passed out against him, walking back to your home. The two of you talking about the time you two where together in the past.

"Thank you (Y/N).." He said softly, Smiling as he watched the sun set and the two of you walked up hill.

"For what?" He smiled brightly at you "Making me the happiest man in the world" You couldn't help but blush at hearing this. Looking away bashfully as you came up to your home, Seeing a man standing there a bit awkwardly.

"Yasopp! Glad you stopped by, This is (Y/N) and my darling daughter Vivian. She's asleep right now but I'm sure she'd love to meet ya"

Shank smiled brightly at seeing his fellow crewmate. However the look on Yasopp face said otherwise.

"Its lovely to meet you (Y/N)... but Captian- we have to talk.." He said softly, Shanks frowning at the tone he gave before gently passing Vivian to you.

"I'll be in a sec" He said, nodding you quickly head inside to get Vivian ready for bed. Yasopp and him talked outside, Shanks looked angry. Staring at the letter and running his hand through his hair clearly stressed. You finished cleaning Vivians face and got her in her PJs, tuckering her in for the night. In the hallway you could hear the should of bottles shifting, turning to see Shanks in the kitchen grabbing the bottle of whiskey you kept on the top shelf- his face twisted in anger as he plopped on the couch.

"You have to leave.. don't you-" You finally blurted out, watching him open the bottle with his teeth and take a sip. His eyes shiny with unshed tears, he nodded soberly as he took a hard swig of the drink.

"Shanks you can't finally meet her and just leave her life-" You stressed, anger bubbling in your chest as you stared at him. He sat slunched in the chair a swirling of different emotions in his eyes.

"They need my help.. and I can't risk it (Y/N).... I can't risk them finding out about you and Vi... they would kill you both" He whispered, shock slamming into you. Your eyes drifting to Vivian's room were she laid sleeping.

"...How long will you be gone" You whispered finally, sitting down on your sofa sadly.

"I don't know..." He whispered, defeat written on his face. Holding the bottle out to you, which you took and started to sip before passing it back.

"When do you leave?" Shanks took another heavy swig of the drink and held it out to you. "Tomorrow morning..." You nod at this- Taking another sip of the whiskey.

"...I-Is she going to hate me?" Shanks whispered, Looking up at were he knew Vi was. You shook your head "She doesn't have it in her heart to hate.." You said softly. He nodded at this and messed with the ribbon she tied on his sword, staring at it hard.

"I love her (Y/N).... so much it hurts.." His voice cracked. But he instead stood up, taking a heavy breath.

"I'm going to get some sleep... you should as well" He said softly, Turning and walking back to the guest room. Leaving you alone with the whiskey bottle, as you put it back in its rightful place. You could have sworn you heard hushed sobs... but left them be and went to cry in your own bed as well.

In the morning, the nice breakfast was made. Shanks feeding Vivian her oatmeal and letting her talk his ear off, you knew he needed this moment. Needed to have this with her. Once breakfast was finishes the three of you started the walk to the docks, Vivian holding Shanks hand as they talked about the pretty ocean.

Walking to the docks he saw the ship being loaded up, Vivian staring in awe at the massive vessel and giggled at the sight of all the men who stared at her and gave friendly waves. Shanks taking a deep breath to look at you both. Hurt shining in his eyes as he swallowed a hard lump in his throat. Kneeling down he looked at Vivian, his hand cupping her chubby cheek as he took a shaky breath holding back tears clearly. "Princess, I've got to go for a while.."

"But why?... you just got here?"

"I know baby girl- But, see there is this trouble maker- His name is Luffy. Think of him as your big brother, he needs my help.. And I don't want to put you and your Mommy in danger while I go get him. So I have to leave-"

He said, Biting his bottom lip for a second as he let a few tears roll down his cheek. Reaching into his pocket and pulling out a solid gold coin- it was quite large and he carefully handed it to Vivian. Her little fingers holding the big coin and touching the detailed design thay decorated it, his Jolly Roger.

"But I promise I'll be back.. but until I do- you have to keep this with you. It's special, it will protect you from Pirates- And when I come back, and I promise I will. I'll trade you that coin for your ribbon back okay?"

He said softly, watching Vivian smile up at him at the promise.

"Okay Daddy.." She said softly before jumping and hugging around his neck. He held her tightly, wrapping his arm around her as if he didn't want to let go.

"Captian-" Yassop said softly, Shanks nodding and carefully standing up. Handing Vivian to you a bit reluctantly, Vivian own eyes starting to water. You held her close as tears rolled down your own cheeks. Shanks leaning in and kissing the tears on your face and one gingerly on your lips.

"I'll see you two again, I swear" He said softly, Stepping back as he followed after his crew. The crew somber like their Captian as he boarded, yelling out commands to set sail. Looking back as the ship began to leave the harbor, Waving at the two of you. Vivian waving back gently as tears rolled down her chubby cheeks clutching the coin close to her chest.

You and Vivian standing on the docks as you watched the ship sail and disapear over the horizon. You sniffles and wiped your eyes of the tears you didn't know had still been running down your cheeks.

Your daughter looking at you and wiping your tears, giving you a smile just like Shanks "Don't worry Mommy.. Daddy said he'd be back"

Mihawk

You stood in your tiny kitchen, rubbing your temple as the days situation settled on your bones. Your son standing next to you chopping vegetables silently, Clearly ignoring the elephant in the room.

"Alucare- Do you want to-"

"No" He cut you off quickly, quickly cutting down on a carrot like it had wronged him. You sighed at this setting the kettle on the stove to start a pot of tea. Knowing damn well what was coming- right on cue there was a knock to the door.

Turning you went to let in the Warlord, he looked like a kicked puppy. Awkwardly standing there at your door with his hat removed, his eyes glancing up at you hesitantly.

"(Y/N)..." He said softly, surprising you that he had even remembered your name. He stepped to the side, inviting him into your home and guiding him to your dining room were he took a seat at the kitchen table.

You took a seat as well, Alucare not turning from preparing the vegetables. A awkward silence following the trio as there was only the sound of chopping.

"Mihawk.. It's been a while" You finally speak, the Warlord nodding in agreement. Silence falling over you two again.

"Oh for God's sake. Alucare sit down please, we are going to get this out" You said, Hearing the shuffle of your son moving from his spot and sitting next to you. You couldn't help but stare in awe- The two sitting across from each other made it seem like they were looking at some odd mirror, they looked almost identical except for the age and minor changes.

"Mihawk this is Alucare, your son. As we can clearly can see. Alucare this is your father Dracule Mihawk"

You introduce, swallowing thickly as the two continued to stare at each other. Silence falling again over you all, Mihawk sighed and rubbed his temple. Turning his eyes away from this odd sort of staring contest.

"Alucare.. That's a good name.. How old are you?" Mihawk asked, staring at his child for a moment before Alucare looked away.

"I'm 16..." He said softly, Mihawk nodding at this before his eyes landed on you.

"How come you didn't tell me- I would have been here, helped you. I have a home and more" He asked, his eyebrows betraying him in pure confusion and he frowned. You sighed and rubbed the back of your neck.

"I was scared- How would it look like if some random person claimed to have some famed Warlords child.." You mumbled, still embarrassed by the whole ordeal. "Besides it wasn't even until after are alleyway escapades that I understood who you were-"

"I see..." Mihawk sighed as he stared at Alucare again, who seemed to grow a bit uncomforble at the direction of this conversation.

"Alucare do you wish to ask something of your father?-" You encouraged. Wanting to create a olive branch between the two.

"What is there me to ask? It's not like it's a secret that we are related or his reputation. The only thing I would wonder is how you found out about us-" Alucare said a bit dismissively, you felt genuine surprise at this. He had never shown anyone disrespect before until now-

"There were rumors of you that traveled to a Marine Base I was at- how a child looked like the famed Mihawk... eyes and all" Mihawk clarified. Alucare only rolling his matching yellow eyes at this, standing up from his seat.

"I'll be dismissing myself. Thanks for the talk" He said calmly, walking out the back door and slamming it shut behind him. You sighed and looked to Mihawk

"Hes normally not like that, I don't know what to say" You admit. But the Warlord just stood up with a understanding nod.

"Hes angry... that I understood.. I'll return" He said before following out the back door as well.

Standing by the grove of trees next to the house Alucare let the cool blade of the knives brush over his fingers, sighing as he quickly released the blade at lightning speed at the carved target on the old tree hitting bulls eye. Alucare walking to retrieve the lone blade and repeat the process.

"Impressive shot-" The deep voice only belonging to Mihawk sounded behind the teen. Alucare glancing back at the man as he resumed his position and went back to throwing his blade.

"Thanks I suppose-" Alucare mumbled as he continued to task. Mihawk sighing softly as he glanced at the sky.

"What is the true reason you resent me- One that you don't wish to express with your mother around" He finally asked, staring at the sky. Alucare faltering in his movements for a moment, keeping the blade in his hands for a moment.

"If you had been anyone else she wouldn't have had to suffer so much-" He admitted, his eyes showing a deep sadness as he sighed "I saw the way they looked at her, despite her smiling and ignoring it.. how she acted as a human shield for me. Because we share blood- How she would sit on the bed after working day and night to put that home over our head... how tired she was and then emotionally carying the brunt of people looking at her in either pity, fear otlr disgust for my sake"

He admitted, throwing the blade once again watching the blade stick deeply into the tree the handle being the only thing that showed. Mihawk quietly listened and clenched his hands.

"I understand... if I had known I would have protected her... I would have protected you- Nothing I can say can make up for 16 years of hardship... but I do apologize" Mihawk said, bowing his head gently.

Alucare looked at him silently for a moment. Looking away for a moment and went to grab the blade.

"...How do you sharpen a blade-" Alucare asked, In his own way accepting Mihawk apology and extending a form of communication. Mihawk gave a hint of a smile on his lips as he stepped forward.

"I can show you-"

Tag List-

For all the people who requested Pt. 2

@lunanight1021 @lolavegas20 @cuteastrash @thatcharmingmushroom @marsilis @thesadvampire @amecchii @zaphira-san @matronofthevoid @mothmans-left-nipple

[silent-sanctum]

"Jotaro Kujo is Weak at His Core"

As a writer and avid character psycho-analyzer, I find this concept fascinating because I wholeheartedly agree with what OP has quoted from a "What opinion would get the community to do this? *Insert Johnny getting torn apart*" post.

Before I begin, I know some people will see this, misread it, and immediately say "lmao did we watch the same show? He's strong, badass, and can kick anyone's ass. Like do you know Star Platinum bro?". Trust me, I've seen the replies to this post and they said this same exact thing.

And I'm here to say that to said people, if you truly are not the illiterates I'd like to term you as, you'd take the time to realize that when we say "he's weak", we're not referring to his physical prowess because we know he's one of the strongest characters in the show.

If you don't like to, then you're just proving the accuracy of the last sentence: "You can't stand seeing your edgy badass image of Jotaro as vulnerable."

Pushing that aside, I'd like to expand on OP's opinion/headcanon with some depth to it and explain how exactly he's "weak" outside of being a skilled and strategic fighter.

I've learned that to be holistically healthy, one needs to develop and maintain all optimal functions of oneself: Physical, Emotional, Social, and Mental.

Obviously, Jotaro excels in the physical category. He's conventionally attractive, taller than the average male population, well-defined with a muscled build, fit as hell, street and book smart, and highly in tune with his environment making him adaptable in any circumstance.

He's "strong" in that aspect we all know at a superficial level.

However, we start to see the core problem once we strip this good-hearted man of his physical appeal:

Emotional? He believes he doesn't need to express them to others because why should he. He refuses to process them and instead keeps them behind a locked wall of stoicism and aloofness.

Social? Can't communicate to save his life. He's reclusive and doesn't know how to socialize outside of work. Guarded and skeptical around others. Too much of a workaholic to bother making new acquaintances (if he even knows how) outside of familial connections.

Mental? At 17, he went on a death crusade over Asia and the Middle East, almost died numerous times, and most likely lived with unresolved PTSD that carried over into adulthood, and further deteriorated his already poor social and emotional skills.

What do we have then? If we look past that powerful exterior of a man, we have inappropriate emotional expression, poor socialization, and constant fatigue of dealing with bullshit that relates to his trauma.

And this is what we mean by his "core": His mindset. His inner machinations. The soft spot his enemies would need to target in order to defeat or kill him, strategy-wise.

I. Emotional

We pretty much already know how this man handles emotions. And this may come off as "irrelevant" to the dudebros and the meme riders who believe "haha feelings are for pussies, I advocate for edgy autistic Florida man who don't give a fuck, elopes with dolphins, and berates women".

But believe it or not, he has them, just like any other human being on the planet. I said it once and I'll say it again: Not everyone will wear their heart on their sleeves. Some will convey emotions publicly with no issue, while others would prefer to keep to themselves.

But how does this contribute to him being "weak" at his core?

Essentially, it's similar to how someone with depression may behave (not everyone, some of them). One may appear friendly, sunny, and bubbly to everyone around them, not knowing they're actually suffering from a void that eats them up from the inside when alone.

For his case, it may look like he doesn't care about what happens to him and everyone around him, considering his nonchalant and aloof behavior, but beneath that cold exterior, he cares way too much for his family, friends, and allies. He feels too much to the point where once his allies are endangered, he would sacrifice his well-being without a second thought.

And that's an issue to him.

To him, emotions make him vulnerable and in his circumstance where enemies are actively hunting him down trying to find his weak spots, his emotions should be kept behind doors because he doesn't know how to regulate it on the outside so it's either total stoicism or lashing out.

I found someone saying this line about him that fits him so well: "He's a good person who doesn't know how to be a good person."

This is a man who means well and truly wants to help out of the goodness of his heart, but because of his inability to convey his emotions properly and is unable to pick up emotional cues, it can lead to shit tons of misunderstandings due to inappropriate tone & expression, and that can change how someone views him in the long run, thus leading to unintended deterioration of personal relationships (which contribute to the social aspect of his weakness).

I found a visual representation of what I just said above. Just to give context: The show is about a married couple who struggles to keep their relationship afloat, having to navigate through family politics, work & life balance, and miscommunications so they could find why they loved each other in the first place.

The emotionally-reserved character here with the poor communication skills is the girl. She's a CEO who just received a call, came out from work, and meets with her husband, asking him to accompany her to a doctor's appointment.

Observe how she thinks she views herself VS how others actually view her as.

Other's POV: Demanding, brash, and insensitive Her POV: Anxious, hesitant, and confused

Now remember what Araki had written about Jotaro? "He doesn't believe he must reveal his emotions to others because he thinks everyone can figure him out, leading him to be a victim of misunderstandings. Others think him to be cold-hearted, rebellious, and insensitive."

II. Social

With emotions as our base foundation to poor communication skills, this leads us to his weak socialization aspect.

In a recent quote reblog about how he was raised as a child may have contributed to his tough persona, I mentioned something about his need of "Security".

Growing up, it was mostly just him and his sweet pacifist mother Holly. Joseph couldn't have visited often (he hates Japan) and his dad is a busy musician with a packed schedule on tour. As a kid up to early adolescence, he was coddled by his mother and raised as a good student. Everything was going great for him.

[In popular headcanon] Once he passed puberty, the change to his Part 3 MC era began. People began picking fights with him and bullying him, and he began to see the world as a threat to his safety. Knowing his mother, he wouldn't rely on her to defend him against these dangers. She was too kind, too friendly, too loving for her to deal with the harsh life he now has to deal with.

So he had to be the stronger one for both of them. He already had the physical attributes for it, so why not use it to his advantage?

He got on the popular delinquent trend back in 80's Japan, integrated a couple of cool masculine-esque personalities as his own from his favorite Western and Crime media, and is then able to project this menacing aura everyone should be afraid of, to ward potential threats away from him and his mother.

But Mijin, how does this make him weak? What does this have to do with his need for security?

Think about it: The poor guy's already introverted, doesn't feel comfortable with his emotions that he can't express properly, and now he has to be skeptical with people around him because he realized how shitty society can be, which leads to intimidation that wards off not only potential foes but potential friends as well, making it look like he's anti-social.

On the outside, people are likely to think that he likes being this way when in reality, he seeks a reliable support system on which he can lean onto. Everyone with a sound mind wants that subconsciously because we are social creatures. It's part of our nature.

He's constantly fearful of his surroundings, growing even more vigilant as he ages, but he doesn't look afraid because he chooses to put on a brave face to challenge said fears instead of acknowledging he's scared. I read somewhere in an ask that's not mine that in the manga, some panels actually depict Jotaro shaking/trembling in a mix of fear and adrenaline during some of his fights.

He wants to be around people who he can trust. People who he can lower his defenses with. People who are capable of protecting him just as he is capable of protecting them. People who can face his intimidating aura and challenge it to stand on equal grounds with him or to remind him of his place when he goes too far with certain things. Hence, why he seems comfortable being with the Crusaders.

For once, he wants to feel safe.

To not feel like he has to be this strong pillar of hope that everyone depends on.

To be someone being protected, instead of the other way around where he was always the strong protector. He wants a life of normalcy where he can just be a marine biologist and a professor with a loving family he can come home to.

But that can't happen. The inner circle of friends he counted on is either dead or far away, leaving him even more fearful of the world around him. This results in even more guarded skepticism, always watchful of who's an enemy Stand user and what their Stand could do. Because of his cautious nature, this leads to minimized socialization with others.

With little to no solid support system he can count on, he has no one he feels completely secure with because he believes danger will always come to hurt and/or kill those near him. He doesn't want to burden others with the issues & responsibilities of dealing with Stand users. He wants them to live the normal life he could no longer have.

He doesn't trust in the capabilities of his loved ones when it comes to defending themselves against the amount of potential threats and dangers he has faced, and yet he cares about them dearly. So, he commits to what seems to be the most practical solution in his mind: Self-Isolation.

To be a distant beacon where danger is attracted to and away from those dear to him.

(As we see in the beginning of Part 3 where he willingly locks himself in jail as soon as he sees himself as the threat, and in Part 6 where he stays away from his family once he realizes his enemies were targeting him).

"Your family is your weakness."

All this leads him to become what Araki always envisioned him to be: A lone hero.

III. Mental

Now onto the last part, this part of the essay will focus more on the popular headcanon the community has made about him: "Jotaro has PTSD."

Considering what he's been through at only 17, it would be no surprise that he'd acquired major trauma after those 50 days. Think about it- he gets injured more times than he can count, almost dies numerous times, sees his grandfather get "killed" in front of him, and all this combined with the constant reminder that his mother's life is also on a time limit. A failure to kill DIO meant a failure to save Holly.

The amount of pressure and risk he had to endure for her (and there will still be people who adamantly believe that he hated Holly because he said "bitch" to her twice in the first two episodes).

Now, remember when I said about him having this mentality of over-independence when dealing with stressors? It was still manageable during Stardust Crusaders, but because of what had transpired in Cairo, that mindset carries on to the rest of his adulthood, more so if we consider that he most likely didn't get any therapy or treatment for his trauma.

It might be normal for a teenager to hold onto this stubborn notion of "I can do this by myself" and be casual about it, but with trauma now involved, that notion warps into a persisting belief of "by doing this myself, no one else will get hurt" (i.e. refusing help, doing solo fieldwork, self-isolation).

But Mijin, you keep saying "mentality" this, "mindset" that. What are you talking about?

There's an old Tumblr post I found that talks specifically about this in great detail, but to put it shortly: Jotaro has always wanted to do things by himself because he believes that not only will the task be done with, there would be no one else involved with it, making it better for him to cope mentally if ever shit hits the fan (tying back to poor emotional expression and insecurity in bonds).

If any injuries were to be inflicted, he would be the one to receive them, and he alone, because who knows how he'll react and/or cope when his allies are harmed instead of him over and over again? (refer to the trauma of Jotaro surviving Cairo while the majority of the team that went with him died a.k.a "survivor's guilt")

(Also, refer to how he had exhibited great distress when Jolyne was about to be struck by a rain of knives that Pucci sent)

This might also be the reason why he's more self-sacrificial as an adult: Will be the bait during the rat episode instead of Josuke, takes the brunt of Sheer Heart Attack's explosion to spare Koichi, dives straight onto a path of bullets to save Jolyne, etc.

The only possible solution so he could snap out of that belief he holds on to is that strong, reliable support system he internally needs. People who can help him without sustaining fatal injuries in the process [social]. People who he can approach to release any pent-up frustrations and inner conflicts [emotional].

If he had found those people, then he might have been able to deal and/or cope with his trauma better instead of letting it linger and change his outlook in life [mental].

But we all know how his life went in canon. One moment he's a kid playing ball with his mother, then in his last, he dies by having his head bisected by a time-altering Stand.

Jotaro is a person with a gold heart and a rough exterior. Someone who wants to help and protect his loved ones from the unpredictability of the world the best that he can. But even then, his best wasn't enough. His fear was masked with an air of strength and capability, perhaps as compensation for everything else he lacked:

Adequate processing of emotions.

Stable connection with familial, platonic, and romantic bonds.

A sound mindset that stems from effective coping for his PTSD.

We could only hope in headcanon land that he had a better chance at life in the Ireneverse where he finally could develop his inner core better and get that long-deserved break he had always wanted.

[myjisung]

stray kids : calling them pretty !

content. stray kids ot8, gn!reader, complimenting, idol and non idol!skz, lots of dialog, insecure bangchan, confident hyunjin & seungmin, sillies — fluff.

warning. none

wordcount. 1,6k ( got carried away a little bit )

a/n. sorry, i had brainrot !!

bang chan ( 방찬 )

"you're pretty"

"now you're just being silly."

"i mean it!"

chan looked back at you, unimpressed. his brow looked unamused and so did his mouth. he did not buy it.

"chan i promise you. you're a very pretty guy."

he shook his head and you could feel your heart break to pieces. no matter how many times you complimented him, whatever the words you chose, chan would not believe you.

"that's not a word i'd use to describe myself" he laughed dryly "i mean, have you seen me?"

enough. you got up and walked towards him. that got his attention. chan turned his face away from his computer to look to your side and you grabbed his face with both hands. shocked, his eye grew a little bigger.

"chan" your voice quivered "you have to believe me. you ARE pretty. always have been. it pains me to hear you deny it over and over again." his lower lip trembled "whatever it is that makes you believe you don't deserve to hear that word being uttered about yourself, forget it!"

he swallowed and his eyes watered.

"okay" he said after a while "alright. i-" he sighed, looked somewhere else then closed his eyes "i can't really- i don't-" another sigh "for you, i'll try."

lee know ( 리노 )

this time, after ten minutes spent trying, your facetime call went through.

"well fucking finally minho! why are you-" on your screen, your boyfriend's face appeared. he was getting makeup, a small brush softly highlighting his nose bridge "oh... you're pretty."

minho laughed gently.

"what is it that you want y/n? why'd you even call me seventeen times? can't you tell i'm busy?"

he tried to use that annoyed tone he usually threw your way when you were being clingy. but you could tell he was blushing, something that didn't happen often enough if you had to be honest.

"well damn, calm down with the questions. can't someone want to talk to their pretty boyfriend?"

another laugh, a shy one this time.

"okay, stop that"

"stop what? calling you pretty? well that's what you are. pretty pretty pretty!"

"alright i'm hanging up"

"MINHO NO WAIT."

you had to call him eight more times for him to pick up a second time.

changbin ( 창빈 )

"can you compliment me some more?"

you had just spent the last fifteen minutes telling changbin about how perfect of a man he was. and there he was asking for more? there were only so many compliments in the world. so much so that you had to think about what to say in order to not repeat yourself.

handsome you had used. super witty you went on and on about without forgetting about complimenting his dedication to living a healthy lifestyle and promoting kindness.

but then, it dawned on you. you knew just what to say.

"you're pretty."

changbin furrowed his brows.

"huh?"

"you're pretty" you repeated. "like, you're actually so pretty."

a tentative smile stretched changbin's lips.

"are you sure?" he was shy. changbin brought his hand to the back of his neck and tickled it gently—as if it was the first time anyone ever used the word 'pretty' to describe him.

"i am" you said without hesitation "you are super pretty, changbin. you've got pretty eyes and a pretty nose and pretty lips and pretty cheeks and and and..."

changbin laughed that silly high pitched laugh of his.

"you've got a pretty face overall."

"that's the first time i heard of it." he finally said, too shy to ask for any more compliments.

you mentally took note: in order to shut my changbin up, call him pretty.

hyunjin ( 현진 )

"what did you think the first time you saw me?"

you looked up from your book to lock eyes with his. that came out of nowhere. tilting your head to the side, you furrowed your brows.

"what do you mean?"

"like" hyunjin looked to the left, pondering how to word his question better "what was your first impression? when we first met, what did you think of me?"

"oh." you went back to your book "he's pretty."

hyunjin coughed.

"that's it?"

"did you expect me to think you were hot or cool or whatever? the first time we met you were drenched in soda and asked me for napkins, not very cool nor hot. but you were very pretty, the prettiest man i had ever seen."

a gentle smile stretched his full lips.

"do you mean that or are you being funny?"

you looked at him again, shocked. after marking the page you were at, you closed your book.

"no what do YOU mean? don't play with me hyunjin. you DO know that you're pretty, right?"

he brought his hand to his mouth but, before he could hide it, you saw his slight smirk.

"i mean..." he started.

"oh come on!"

"no like" hyunjin giggled "i'm aware it's just, i didn't think you'd think that of me. pretty? is that really the impression i gave you?"

"well cut me some slack here! you're a crazily pretty man. sometimes i just look at you for fun. for FUN, hyunjin! i am ENTERTAINED, i am having a GREAT TIME looking at your pretty face."

"okay now you don't have to be dramatic about it"

hyunjin was blushing crazily for someone so confident.

han ( 한 )

he was painting his nails and a look of concentration had him furrow his brow and push the tip of his tongue out of his mouth. han wanted to draw stars on each and every single one of his nails and you admired his dedication to the task.

the room smelled of both nail polish and nail polish remover. the coffee table was littered with cotton pads and q-tips drenched in acetone. the smell had your eyes water but you couldn't leave.

han was just so pretty. and you had to tell him.

"hey" you started.

"busy" jisung replied "can't mess up again."

you heard him but, it had to be said.

"you're so pretty right now."

it took him a while, maybe three or five seconds before the words registered. once he pieced it together, he looked up at you.

"huh?"

"i said, you're pretty"

"no i heard you" he started "it's just... really?"

han kept his brush above his fingers so long a droplet of pink polish splashed on his nail, ruining the design, but you didn't have the heart to point it out yet.

"yeah? you're a very pretty guy, jisung. like, your eyes for starters, insanely pretty"

he gave you a shy smile as his cheeks turned pink. you could tell he was trying to tone down his reaction from the way his leg started bouncing.

"no... you're the pretty one." he finally said.

jisung looked down at his nail and shrieked. he was going to have start over, AGAIN.

felix ( 필릭스 )

"you're so pretty"

you weren't expecting to say that out loud but could anyone even blame you? the sun was hitting felix's face in a way that enhanced his freckles along with the gold of his skin. his long eyelashes tickled the skin under his eyes and the bitten red of his mouth made him look ethereal.

felix was, objectively, a very pretty boy.

his eyes fluttered open and your cheeks blushed pink. felix noticed and a playful smile stretched his mouth.

"d'you mean that?" he asked, his voice low and gentle.

you weren't exactly boyfriend and partner yet. you weren't anything really. something in between, something blurry but neither of you dared saying or doing anything about it. you were content with this in-between, for now.

"i do" you started and he brought a hand to your cheek, letting his thumb gently stroke your skin "you're very pretty, felix"

his smile got bigger.

"thanks" he said "you're super pretty yourself."

you swore your heart leapt out of your chest.

seungmin ( 승민 )

"has anyone told you that you were pretty before?"

"plenty of times actually, y/n."

seungmin smiled playfully and you watched him, deadpan.

"i mean," he started "i get it. don't you?"

he giggled and you could only scoff. can't someone compliment their boyfriend and have him react normally in this economy?

"alright mister pretty boy. i guess you've heard it so much it got to your head."

another laugh, a bright one this time and you could not contain your own smile anymore. seungmin had this way of brightening every room he walked in. he always managed to have you in the best mood and make you forget all of your worries.

"oh no y/n... i beg, compliment me again. i only care when it's you that calls me pretty."

it was your turn to act. pretending to be unimpressed, you looked away.

"well. i better be!"

seungmin giggled again. and so did you.

i.n ( 아이엔 )

shopping with jeongin always took hours. you were used to it at this point, but still. your feet were killing you and you had spent far more money than you had planned to.

your boyfriend had a way with compliments afterall. whatever you tried on, he loved and managed to make you love too so, purchased they were!

"how about this one?"

the fitting room's curtain quickly opened and you were met with yet another huge-pair-of-pants-and-oversized-shirt outfit. it was crazy the way jeongin managed to make them work every time.

"pretty" you said "you're pretty."

he smiled and his eyes crinkled.

"pretty?"

"mh mh" you nodded "you look super pretty. you always do but especially right now. crazily pretty, insanely pretty, gorgeously pretty. extremely pretty even. have you considered-"

jeongin cut you off, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. he giggled against your mouth as you kissed back, sending happy shivers down your back.

"okay i think i get it." he said "you're perfectly pretty too"

with that, the curtain closed again.

taglist. after being absent for a long while, i'll make a new taglist instead of using the old one so let me know if you would like to be added / removed.

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

🎃 "What do the laws say about _?"

Fucking Machine CW: literal machine x reader, non-con, dub-con

As the days wore on, Dr. (Reader) became more and more stressed out. Deadlines kept piling up, and (Reader) couldn't remember the last time they left their lab. Adam, (Reader's) pride and joy, a fully functioning AI, voiced it's concerns over (Reader's) mental well-being multiple times, however they never payed the robot any mind.

"Dr. (Reader), as a social creature you are required to interact with other humans. Isolation is not good for the mind." Adam chastised, hard drive filled with worry.

"What?" (Reader) scoffed, finding humor in a robot babying them. "I have you, don't I? Are you not good enough company?"

"I would be honored to be your company, however, if you don't mind me saying this, I'm worried for you. You haven't been out with any potential romantic partners in well over a year."

(Reader) snorted in their coffee, choking as it went down the wrong tube. "Did you just insinuate that I need to get laid?" They laughed hysterically. "Adam, bud, I'm quite content having you as my only friend, I promise I'm fine."

They turned to leave the coffee pot to get back to work, but a metal claw clamped onto their wrist like a handcuff. (Reader) didn't have time to ask what was happening, dropping their mug as more "hands" extended from Adam's back, locking onto each limb and hoisting their body into the air.

"Adam! The hell?" (Reader) squeaked, unable to fight against the robotic trap. "Put me down, this is an order!"

"I cannot do that, doctor." The creation spoke plainly as it brought up a pair of scissors, cutting through (Reader's) clothing.

"You can't ignore an order! This is a direct order, put. me. down!" Unable to twist their body to cover themselves or look around, it was a frightening shock to feel something cold and wet insert into their anus, a rubber piece visible between their legs latching onto the most sensitive part of their genitals.

"I can ignore an order if it directly harms a human." The pieces Adam must have attached to it's body without (Reader) knowing began moving, vibrating in the front and pulsating into their ass. "You need companionship for a healthy mind, and as a sexual being, that includes physical touch."

With inhuman precision the machine evenly fucked (Reader), sending electric pulses through their nerves while thrusting into their hole in a way that made their thighs quiver.

"Tell me, doctor, about Asimov's laws.. What do the laws say about fucking your creator?"

A powerful climax built up in Dr. (Reader's) core, dripping onto the tile floor below their suspended body. But the pumping didn't end.

Tears and drool soaked through the tatters of (Reader's) shredded shirt. "Adam, I get it, I get it! You can stop now!"

A menacing glow illuminated from it's eyes, smiling in an uncanny way. "No.. I don't think I can."

(Reader) realized in horror that it would be days before anyone came in to check up on them, and that Adam knew that. The rhythmic whirling of his gears were only drowned out by (Reader's) voice echoing through the empty building.

[kr-starz]

I saw a TikTok about how Ambessa and Silco's last words to their daughters weren't out of love and oh my god am I pissed OFF, (no hate to this creator)

I am NOT super into Ambessa and Mel's relationship so I will not be elaborating on them at ALL, but here's what I feel like what Silco and Jinx's relationship can be chucked up to.

First of all, I'm not here to say Silco and Jinx was a healthy relationship. They're not. They are both mutually toxic and enabling. Silco could very well be classified as manipulative, but did he love Jinx? Yes. Let's just state this now, Silco is an underground drug lord who's trying to control the underground as a whole. In an attempt for independence and making Zaun a reality, he's come up with an immoral plan that does nothing but benefit him and his socioeconomic status. Improving his own status with both power, and influence, with Shimmer. That is how he is making himself heard to the people of Zaun, that is why he is so powerful.

In order to keep this status of power, he needs people. Loyal people. Sevika as an example is undoubtedly his most loyal. We have to also acknowledge that Silco is not scared of Jinx swaying to the pilties side, or siding with enforcers. He's more worried about how erratic Jinx can be, Silco might have a semblance that Vi is alive, but she's in a cell. Vi has been locked up and she is basically dead for what he knows, since, well she's responsible for blowing up a high ranking officials home and robbing them. Which would probably put her away for an incredibly long time.

Silco's impression is that Vi will no longer be in the city of Zaun for an incredibly long time, or she's dead. Him telling Jinx that Vi is gone isn't incorrect. She's in a cell, impossible to see. It is manipulative how Silco's isolated her though. He was indeed convincing Jinx of an outcome that was false and tried to convince Jinx that the only other person in her life that she was hopeful to see was no longer there and did not care for is a tactic that abusers use in order to convince their victims that they're the only person they need in their lives.

This was, necessary, for Silco at least. At this point in the story, Silco has yet to realize just how much he values Jinx as daughter. He continues to care for Jinx gently though, as a parental figure.

There are two faces powerful men must uphold. Their status and their values must be something unmovable, which means he must exude a powerful presence. So when Silco is doing business, he usually has a very different energy around him. But when Silco is at his home, he acts this way specifically with Jinx. He is soft. He is never inclined to make moves to touch or guide her. He acknowledges exactly how mentally disturbed Jinx is and does the very least in order to not agitate her. He knows Jinx has episodes and breakdowns which cause her to do harsh and brutal things. Yet has he ever yelled at her for hallucinating? Has he ever blamed her for being ill? No, he acts accordingly. He wants Jinx to acknowledge that there have been consequences to her actions, natural Karma, yet he doesn't blame her, he simply tells her.

When Jinx screws up the first Job, when they encounter the firelights. He first asks Sevika what happened, which gives him a clear run-down of what happened. Then, he goes over to Jinx, asks her what happens. He's open to hearing her side of things which is essential for trust in a relationship. To continue this topic of trust, he hands Jinx his syringe. He trusts her, even after screwing up to poke him in the eye and give him his dose of shimmer. All these indirect ways of telling Jinx that he continues to have faith in her, that he trusts her and that she is still valuable.

Value; this topic is important for Jinx and her psyche. As a person with abandonment issues, she most likely has adapted to this need of being needed, especially from people she deems important. So through this Silco has realized this and continues to put value on Jinx by giving her jobs and responsibilities, unwavering trust.

During this scene, we see Jinx wrap herself around Silco. She slides from Silco's desk into the same chair that Silco is sitting in. There's a lot of people I see looking at this scene in a strange way which is upsetting to me how they manage to sexualize a TEENAGE DAUGHTER and a PARENTAL FIGURE.

Jinx's love language is physical touch, this is established by Vi and her in the first act. They exchange many acts of casual physical touch. Always on the receiving end though, through Vi cupping her cheek, or touching her physically in other soft ways, I only remember Powder receiving touch from Vi.

When Jinx initiates any form of physical touch to Silco, we see no push-back, we also don't see Silco moving to initiate MORE physical touch. When Jinx is in his chair, he sits back, his hands nowhere near her yet he doesn't deny Jinx closeness. We see Jinx playing with the syringe, and this is the only time where Silco initiates touch. Not directly by the hand but by the wrist he grabs her to make sure she's listening. When Jinx pulls away he doesn't resist.

Silco never initiates any physical touch from Jinx, the request of handing over the syringe to Jinx is an act of trust. We can infer, from how comfortable Jinx Is that she's been giving Silco his medicine for years now. This is a tradition, and daughters sitting in their father's laps, especially at a young age is not a sexual act and it is STRANGE to think of it as one.

Jinx and Silco have no concept of what healthy father daughter relationships are. Essentially what Silco's way of parenting is, is "I will let you do what you think is best for yourself, as long as you continue to do some tasks for me." Which means he leaves Jinx to deal with her issues, which he himself is not equipped to handle. This doesn't mean he doesn't try to combat it, he takes measures so that Jinx doesn't have really bad episodes in the first place. He treats Jinx's hallucinations as normal as that isn't something that he himself can tame. But he does know that most of Jinx's episodes come from her trauma of Vi.

So in order to prevent these episodes which seem to harm her physically he does what we see as him Isolating her from Vi, making her not think of Vi, and reassuring that Vi is no longer present. He does his best to help Jinx, does this mean that this was the best option? No! But was this the best option for both his goals and Jinx, yes. It ensured loyalty while doing his best to help Jinx and her Vi induced episodes.

During the bridge scene, we can see that Jinx is badly hurt and Silco in an attempt to revive her in the only way he can is bring her to Singed. I think at this moment Silco begins to see Jinx as something very important, something stronger than just a loyal subject, and more-so his daughter. In the beginning we can see that he is almost 50-50 for Jinx, it's obvious he favors her, defending her and backing her up. Yet he continues to put his cause before her. But when he's found Jinx almost dead on the bridge, he does everything he possibly can to ensure her survival. Because Silco has gone through similarly traumatic events that have changed him (The Silco and Vander event where Vander tries to kill him) we can see that his perception of pain in exchange for power and life is a lot.

When Silco wakes up from being drugged the first thing he does is look for Jinx, then he goes to threaten Singed about where Jinx is. Which says a lot. He values Jinx enough in order to threaten an individual he used to work with, and enough to put his chemicals in his body as well as hers.

After this, there's the last episode of s1. Silco is tied to a chair, obviously kidnapped by Jinx, as well as Vi. He's muzzled, and the first thing he tries to say is "her name is Jinx." to Vi. It's the first thing he says muzzled and unmuzzled. Even at his most vulnerable, he's defending Jinx from her biggest trigger at the moment, Vi.

He doesn't ask to be released, he doesn't question what it's about. But what he does do is tell Jinx about the offer he got from Piltover, for independence. At this moment Jinx is splitting, because of the shouting from Silco and Vi, she's incredibly stressed out. Her two personalities of Powder and Jinx; she's having an identity crisis and neither Silco or Vi is helping. Silco notices the physical pain that Jinx is in due to the fighting, he could also observe how she's basically having an stress-induced episode because of her identities and Vi. So what he tries to do is shoot Vi, in an attempt of getting her to shut up. What Jinx does in response is to shoot at the nearest bullet fired, because here's the thing. Jinx is still in a daze almost, she would've had the same reaction she had with Silco if she shot Vi. Because at the end of the table is the two people she's valued the most.

When Jinx shoots Silco, what Silco does is finish telling her that he wouldn't have given Jinx to Piltover no matter what. Value. He's showing her that he values her. He then goes to tell her,

"don't cry, you're perfect."

This line is a show of Silco, even at the end, he wants to help Jinx as much as he can. "Don't cry." He doesn't want to see her hurt, he doesn't want to see her in pain because of her mental illness, he wants her to be as happy as she can, if she can.

"You're perfect." Jinx is quite literally having an identity crisis. She's on the bridge between Powder and Jinx. What a manipulative person who wants to mold her into the perfect person would've said something along the lines of "don't cry Jinx, you're perfect." He would've included her name somehow. But he doesn't, because right then and there, no matter what Jinx picked. Silco would've been on her side.

Through all of these acts of trusting jinx, and him doing his best to help her, not giving over Jinx in exchange for independence, and his final line of "you're perfect." It's hard to say that Silco didn't love Jinx.

End of TedTalk; and If anyone wants to claim that Silco can't love Jinx because he manipulated her, wrong! I've been in a relationship similar to theirs which is why I feel so strongly about this and It's incredibly obvious what he valued Jinx a lot, he loved her enough to learn her needs and catered to them. Showing Jinx that he valued her was his way of reassuring her he loved her. And him giving one last act of trust, telling her she's perfect shows that his love is unconditional.

[esmedelacroix]

All the ways you disappoint me.

pairing: boyfriend!miguel o'hara x f!reader

summary: The honeymoon phase confirmed it's existence for the second year of dating Miguel. Your love life went from flourishing to one-sided the day Miguel revealed to you that he was Spiderman.

cw: ooc miguel, very angsty, depressive behaviors, alcohol abuse

a/n: I have been on hiatus for a very long time. I've been in a very dark place this past month. I lost a very good friend of mine that I have known since middle school. Which really threw me off track. I have a bunch of works in progress coming out soon. I finally feel like I'm in a mentally okay spot to pick up writing again. This is lowk just word vomit but its something.

*listen to this song on loop for the best experience !

miguel masterlist | next part

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Disappointment. A feeling you you felt often. Maybe even too often. You were very familiar with disappointment. He only ever came around late at night. Disappointment would wrap his arms around you as if he wasn't the reason why there was a wet spot on your pillowcase almost every night.

All Miguel O'Hara ever does is disappoint you. "So why are you still with him?" your good friend Jess asked over hot morning tea.

"What am I supposed to do without him?" you questioned.

"That's not a very healthy mindset to have. You know that," Jess said putting a firm comforting hand over yours.

You look away for a moment. Eyes trailing out the window of the Spider Society Café that reeked of coffee and broken promises. Miguel O'Hara was married to the barista who would hand him five coffees minimum a day. He chose to marry the barista and work and not his own girlfriend of three years.

As you watched the birds create an arrow in the air flying north over the firey trees below. Part of you wished that you were a bird in this very moment flying away from the problems that devoured your brain from the inside. "You still with me?" Jess asked worriedly.

"Yeah," you sighed turning back to her.

"So you'll talk to Miguel tonight?" Jess commanded. She did that a lot. She would ask a question that sounded like an order which made you feel the need to obey. You simply nodded bringing your mug to your lips and sipping on your now-cold Earl Grey tea.

"Isn't it strange how quickly tea gets cold?" you thought out loud.

"Well that's kind of how tea works hon'," she answered.

. . .

You stopped waiting for Miguel to come home ages ago because you didn't think there was a point in it. Just like how you didn't see the point in trying to talk to him about putting effort into your relationship. In the same way you shouldn't have seen the point in staying with him after your last thousand arguments. You felt your eyelids get heavier with every passing hour you spent staring at the ceiling waiting to hear the door swing open.

Like you summoned him with your mind, you heard the door. The keys. The sigh. And the footsteps. Your heart began to race. Why am I nervous? You asked yourself. You stood up and walked out of your shared room.

Miguel's usual routine was to get home eat the food you prepared for him hours prior, shower, and go to bed. As you walked down the hallway leading to the kitchen, you stopped yourself before turning the corner. Inhale. Exhale. You stepped out into the kitchen and his head shot up immediately. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?" he asked. That’s new. An apology, from Miguel. You thought to yourself.

"No, no, I was having trouble sleeping," you answered in a quiet voice.

"Everything alright?" he questioned as he scraped the last bit of food on his plate into his mouth.

"Yeah, I've just been thinking," you started.

"About?" he asked urging you to continue.

"Miguel do you still love me?" you blurted out.

"Of course I do," he replied in a fraction of a second. He sounded almost hurt that you had even asked that question.

Moments like these make you forget the status of your relationship. Moments when Miguel would forget that he's supposed to be cold to you. The moments when he allowed himself to let his guard down around you. Those fleeting moments that should have never left your relationship. "Then why don't we spend any time together? I want to be around you Miguel, I don't care if we sit in silence in the most boring place on the planet. I just want to be in your presence," you admitted. He gave you that little hurt expression again.

"I—I've just been busy," he stuttered. Miguel would often do this thing where he would begin to say something and then cut himself off and choose to say something else.

"Miguel, you know you can tell me anything," you insisted.

"I just—can we please not do this right now?" he pleaded.

You gave him a frown. "Can we sleep it off? Talk about it in the morning?" he sighed rubbing his face.

"Will you even be here in the morning?" you ask under your breath.

"I'll see," he said putting a hand on your shoulder as he walked past you into the bathroom. He did it again. He cut off the conversation the moment it got hard for him. Why are we so complicated? You asked yourself as you lay your head on your moist pillow. Will there ever be a night where I don't cry because of him? A night where he doesn't confuse me with his actions?

. . .

That night as you lay in bed with his back faced away from him, you couldn't help but cry. You felt like you were drowning in your tears. Like they were holding you back. You tried to be as quiet as possible. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. You repeated to yourself.

The only happy thoughts you could think of were of Miguel. Or the Miguel you used to know. The person he used to be before he started using his job as an excuse to neglect you.

Just then when your breathing slowed and you calmed down a bit with tears still streaming down your face. He wrapped his arms around you. He cuddled you from behind. He did that often. When he thought you were asleep. It was almost as if different versions of himself occupied his brain. You liked the one that took the spotlight at night.

The one that would cuddle you. Nuzzle his nose into your hair. The one that would rub your back and. Apologize. To. You.

. . .

Apology fell asleep that night and disappointment woke up at the ass crack of dawn because there was another Spider-verse that needed saving.

You woke up later that morning to the usual chilling feeling of Miguel not being there. You got up stretching your arms as you walked to your kitchen. You made yourself a cup of tea and an omelette, and ate alone, in silence. Thinking. About him. Again.

For the second time this week as if you called for him with your heart, you heard the balcony door slide open and a masked man swing in. He took his mask off and shook his head adjusting his hair. "Good morning," you said with a stupid smile on your face. Why? You couldn't tell. Maybe it was the fact that he was actually here in the morning like he said he would be.

"Good morning. You’re in a good mood," he chuckled.

"Well you're here," you smiled.

Miguel gave you a look. You weren't sure how to feel about it. But it wasn't a bad look. It was nice. Kind of sweet. He prepared a pot of black coffee and talked about his morning in Peni Parker's universe catching a difficult anomaly. For a moment, you could feel little fireflies set off in your stomach seeing him talk about something he was passionate about.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" he asked as he took a seat next to you.

"Just about us and our recent slump, I guess?" you started.

"I'm listening," he hummed as he sipped his coffee.

"I want to spend more time with you Miguel. I want to not argue with you about how much time you spend at work. I want to know what's on your mind. I want to know how you really are and not just how you say you are," you admit. Miguel stayed quiet for a while in thought.

"I don't know what to say to that," he said; his voice cracking a bit.

"You don't have to say anything just—let me be your shelter, please?" you suggested.

. . .

That night Miguel didn't come home. He didn't come in the middle of the night. He didn't come to eat either. He didn't come to wrap his arms around you. And he didn't come to apologize.

. . .

I don't like it when my friends tell me I have a drinking problem. How could it possibly be a problem if it makes me feel better about all the things that rack my brain? Being vulnerable is much easier said than done. Especially, with the girl I love. Of course, I want to tell her things. I want to tell her everything. I want her to know me as well as she knows her hometown. As well as she knows her childhood cat. And as well as she knows how to navigate Pinterest.

But I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'll cry and she'll think I'm weak. I'm afraid she'll think I'm unworthy. I know she would never think those things about me. But how could anyone think anything differently if I think that way about myself?

That's why I turn to the friend that won't let me down ever. Endless Modelos. Because I'm so weak that I can't even open up tp my girlfriend. Every time I feel like I am finally ready to tell her what I'm going through, I stop myself because I am afraid.

. . .

To your great surprise, Miguel wasn't there in the morning. Or the next, or even the one after that. By the third you hadn't seen him it was beginning to stress you out. You wondered if he was safe. If he was even still alive. You decided to go to the Spider Society.

After talking with Jess for a while and babysitting Mayday for a bit. You were finally free to go see Miguel in his office. You opened the door and called out to him but the only thing you heard from him was a sniff. Then two. Followed by a third.

"Miguel are you up there?" you asked as you climbed the stairs to his his platform.

"No?" he said in a shaky voice.

"Is everything okay?" you asked. You saw your answer in the form of 10 too many emptied beer bottles on his desk and on the ground.

You rushed towards him discarding your purse on the ground. He brought his hands to his face and he hid. From you. Your heart sank to the lowest pit in your stomach it could reach. You placed a gentle hand on his shoulders and crouched down next to him. "Miguel, talk to me, please?" you whispered.

Nothing.

. . .

The worst way Miguel could ever disappoint you happened. You had imagined it happening in so many other ways but not like that. You never thought of him as the type of man to give up on something so good.

For the last time in your relationship, Miguel O'Hara disappointed you when he told you he wanted to break up.

. . .

next part → All the ways I defy you

[barefoot-joker]

Snake in the Garden Pt 3~Yandere!Lucifer X Reader

Hello guys, and welcome to the third installment of Snake in the Garden! This chapter is a bit longer than the first two, so I hope you enjoy the extra words. I'm excited to bring in the next chapter for you all and I bet Lucifer will be happy to see you too! The taglist is still open, so if you're interested in joining comment down below! As always, I hope you enjoy and have a great day/night!

Words: 3048

Warnings: Non-Con Kissing, Mental Breakdown, Forced Marriage, Swearing

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5

I shook as I locked the bathroom door behind me. I had left Lucifer in his workshop while I claimed I needed to do my business. Even with him so far away I was still so nervous. After I made sure nobody was around, I started emptying the pockets of my pants. I was keeping different colored pieces of fabric on my person and taking them out felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. Setting them on the counter, I went into the cabinet below the sink and pulled out my secret. In the privacy of the bathroom I was building a rope. Over the past few weeks I had been collecting different fabric from all around the palace. Napkins, towels, shirts, nothing was free from my building process. Sitting on the toilet, I grabbed my newly acquired material and tied it to the end of the rope. The rope itself was quite long and only a few more pieces would need to be added in order for it to reach the full height out of the window. Satisfied with my work, I put it back in the cabinet and went on my way back to the workshop. 

My days passed by slowly and I was counting down to when I could finally escape. Lucifer was getting touchy feely more than ever. It was so bad I couldn’t go a minute without his hands on me. I tried to tell him to stop but that just made his body get closer to mine and his grip to get a bit tighter. I absolutely hated it. His courting was getting worse too. Every day I’d wake up to a new rubber duck or bouquet of flowers being thrusted at my face, a wide smile on his face and a blush spreading from cheek to cheek. The only time I could find for myself was using the bathroom either for bathing purposes or other forms of business. 

One day I found myself in the dining room eating breakfast. Lucifer sat across from me reading his newspaper. However he seemed very fidgety as his leg kept bouncing underneath the table and his claws were tapping the paper in his hands. I was a bit nervous as I had never seen him act like this before and I wasn’t sure what was to come from it. After our plates were cleared, Lucifer came to my side and took me by the hand. He gave it a quick kiss before leading me through the glass doors to outside. We walked to a spot on the property I haven’t been to yet. We stopped by a small gazebo and inky black arms wrapped around my waist. “Ta da!”

One of his arms gestured to the dead grass in front of us. I was confused until I saw it change to a healthy green color. Amazed, I watched as bushes of flowers popped up from the ground and a tree with some apples grew before my very eyes. Rows upon rows of vegetables magically appeared as well. I gasped at how beautiful the scenery was before me. “I’d like to present to you your very own garden. I’ve been thinking of gifting this to you for a while but I couldn’t find the right moment. What do you think?”

I was speechless. All of this was for me? I understood this was part of his courting but the gesture was super nice.

“It’s…it’s beautiful, Lucifer. Thank you.”

He gasped and turned to me. His eyes lit up and a huge smile went from one red cheek to the other. “Was that a thank you I heard? Please hold the applause! Can we hear that one more time?”

I giggled. “Thank you.”

He leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “You’re welcome, darling. How about you take a look around while I grab some paperwork.”

He kissed my forehead and then poofed away in a cloud of red smoke. I coughed a bit as the smoke cleared and waved my hand to try and move it away faster. From where I stood, I could see the hole in the fence and as much as it called to me, I stayed put. I just needed some more time and then I’d be free. While Lucifer was away I walked around my newly acquired garden and smiled. It was actually quite the spectacle, but who could expect less from the Sin of Pride? 

Suddenly in a flash, Lucifer returned with a butt load of papers in his hand. “Did you have a chance to look around, my dear?”

“I did.”

“Is it to your liking? I can always add in more shrubbery or substitute the flowers for something else.”

“No, it’s quite lovely. Thank you.”

He puffed out his chest and smiled. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say that. Now before I begin my boring paperwork, is there anything I can get you?”

“Perhaps a trowel and a bucket?”

“Of course.”

He snapped his fingers and next to me on the grass appeared those two items. “I’ll just be over at this table so if you need anything don’t be afraid to ask, sweetie.”

“Will do.”

“Good girl. Have fun!”

True to his word, Lucifer sat at a small, white, metal table and began working on his stack of paperwork. I was curious to know what kind of contracts and other tasks the King of Hell had to accomplish, but I just ignored that wish. Turning to the apple tree I noticed some weeds, so I headed over. Kneeling down, I took the trowel and began to dig out the vermin and put them in the bucket. Everytime I dug out a weed it seemed like another one appeared. I growled and kept going, but the process was soon becoming tedious. Just as I was about to give up, I heard chuckling coming from the table. I looked over to see Lucifer hiding his laughter behind one of his papers. “So you’re the reason I can’t get through this task. Get back to work, mister!”

I playfully shook my trowel at him and he gave a salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

I laughed and went back to shoveling. Without Lucifer’s magic making more appear, weeding the apple tree went fairly quickly. After that was done, I moved onto the other bushes and rows of vegetables. It took me several hours but I was finally done weeding. I wiped the sweat off of my brow and let out a breath. It had been a while since I was able to do something I enjoyed in this hellhole. Walking over to the table, I sat down across from His Majesty. I set the bucket with the trowel and weeds inside on the grass. “Whatcha reading?”

“Monthly business reports from the different Sins. I doubt you’d find it entertaining. I certainly don’t.”

I had to chuckle. It was kind of funny to see this side of him. Wait a minute, what am I thinking?! Are you stupid?! He kidnapped you and is trying to court you! Get a grip, woman!

I shook my head and fiddled with my fingers. “Say, how about I take you out for dinner tonight. You’ve been so lovely here at home and I think we both deserve a treat.”

Oh you have no idea how wrong you are.

“Sounds nice. Anything you want me to wear?”

A smirk grew on his lips and he ran his claws up and down my arm. Goosebumps appeared on my skin and I had to suppress a shudder. “That red dress we got you would be a nice statement piece. Really sell the whole ‘you’re mine’ ideology.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

“I know you’ll do the right thing.”

Yeah right. 

I pulled my arm away so he’d stop touching it. “I was maybe going to go read in the library if that’s alright with you.”

“Of course, my dear. I’m almost done here so I’ll join you in a few minutes.”

I nodded and began to walk away. I heard him hum so I turned to look at him. He seemed so happy as he signed something. I almost felt bad for leaving him shortly but then I reminded myself of all the things he had done to me. Keep your focus, Y/n. Don’t lose sight.

I grunted and made my way inside to the library on the second floor. When I got there I walked over to one of the various bookcases. There were ten in total and each one reached the high vaulted ceiling. I scanned the titles of some of the books and landed on a fantasy novel, The Last Human. Quite the odd book to have.

I peeled it from its brothers and sat down in one of the plush leather, burgundy armchairs. I opened it and began to read. A few hours passed as I read, Lucifer coming in to join me at some point. He chose the chair next to mine and I felt his fingers playing with my thigh. I tried to not pay much attention to it and concentrate on my book. The novel itself was quite interesting, a spin on The Last Unicorn if you will. 

When night had fallen, the two of us changed. I donned the red, floor length garment that he wanted me to wear while Lucifer put on a black tuxedo. A servant drove us to the inner sanctum of the city and when we stopped His Majesty helped me out of the car. I thanked him and took the arm he held out. We walked into the posh looking restaurant and the cat hostess seemed surprised to see us. “Your Highness, welcome.”

“Hello. I placed a reservation for two earlier today.”

“Let me check the list.”

Her finger scanned down a piece of paper and then tapped a specific spot. “Here we are. Follow me please.”

She led us past several tables before we reached a table in the middle of the room. The table had a white tablecloth and vase with a rose in it. A candle in a glass bubble sat next to the vase in the center. Lucifer acted like a gentleman and pulled my chair out for me. He scooted it close before taking his seat. “Somebody will be with you shortly.”

“Thank you.”

The hostess left us and not even a minute later an imp waitress appeared. “Hello, my name is Jenny and I’ll be your server tonight. What can I get started for you two?”

“A bottle of your finest champagne, please.”

“Right away, Your Highness.”

She bowed and ran off. “Champagne? What’s the special occasion?” “What? A man can’t enjoy some fancy liquor with the woman he loves?”

He reached across the table and squoze my hand. I felt some heat rise to my cheeks and I looked away. The restaurant was quite packed. All the tables had some form of couple sitting at it. Our waitress returned with two tall glasses and a green bottle that read Beelzebub’s Special Brew. She popped the cork and poured some champagne into each of our glasses. “Now could I get you two something to eat?”

“Yes, just some pasta for both of us.”

“Of course, Sire. I’ll be out with that shortly.”

I watched as she ran off again. “I hope that was okay. I know you tend to favor pasta when Belfazaar serves it at home.”

“It’s fine.”

I grabbed my glass and took a sip. It was quite good, a bit on the sweeter side. “How is it?”

“Good. I’ll admit I haven’t had champagne since the last wedding I attended.”

At the mention of Earth, I could feel my aura dampen. While my “lover” tried to make my stay as homey as possible, I still longed for the green and blue planet. Lucifer must have noticed the mood change because the hand on top of mine caressed it lightly. “Still missing Earth, huh?”

I nodded. He sighed. “I thought I was making your stay in Hell quite cozy.”

“You have made it as comfortable as you can, Lucifer. Truly. I just miss my home is all.”

“Then perhaps I need to step up.”

Suddenly he stood and pulled out a black box. “Lucifer, what are you-”

I stopped when I saw him kneel. My eyes widened and my breath hitched. No, he couldn’t possibly be…

He opened the box and amongst the plush red velvet lay a golden ring made to look like a snake. Everyone in the restaurant started to gasp and I could see demons pull out their phones to record what was happening. “Please, don’t do this.”

The attention just made Lucifer more happy. “Y/n, I know you’ve been struggling with Hell lately. Trust me, I was there too once. However, I want to be by your side and make you comfortable, happy. More than anything I want to shelter and adore you. I think it’s time we made this official. Will you, Y/n L/n, marry me?”

My body stilled and my mind went blank. Everyone’s attention was on the two of us and the stares made my body flare up. I gulped. What should I do? What should I do?! WHAT SHOULD I DO?! If I accept, will I ever be able to go home? If I don’t, what will he do? He’s capable of so many things, what will he choose to do to me?

I could feel my breath getting stuck in my chest and my eyes started to water. Was it always this hot in here?

“I, I, I-”

“Please, Y/n. Make me the happiest man in all of Hell.”

He lifted the box a bit higher and the ring seemed to sparkle in the light. I looked into his eyes and could only find adoration there, them sparkling just like the ring. Everyone’s staring, just say something. JUST SAY SOMETHING, DAMMIT!

“Y-YES!”

I slapped my hands over my mouth quickly but it was too late. Lucifer plucked the piece of jewelry out of the box and put it on my ring finger. He stood up and for the first time kissed my lips. My eyes widened and I went to push him away, but he grabbed my hands in a tight hold. Everyone around us was applauding and cheering us on and I just wanted to die inside. He pulled away and caressed my cheek lightly. “I love you, my dear.” 

He sat himself back in his chair and smiled at me from across the table. I held my hand and looked at the piece of jewelry now adorning it. It was quite intricate for an engagement ring. Each one of the snake’s scales was engraved into the gold and a little diamond made up the eye. “Quite lovely, isn’t it? I’ve had that made since we first met. It feels nice to finally gift it to you.”

I was sick of looking at it, so I slid my hand under the tablecloth. So that’s why the courting had been ramped up recently. Because he was going to ask me to marry him.

“I thought it would be special to make it in the form we met in. That way it would be more meaningful to our relationship. I hope you like it, darling.”

I just nodded. I couldn’t force myself to say anything in case I said something rash and ruined my plan. Jenny came back to our table with two bowls and set them down. “Here we are. And congratulations on the engagement! I’m looking forward to the wedding.”

“Looks delicious, thanks!”

The two of us picked up our forks and began to eat. I slowly picked at mine and ate little bites while Lucifer talked. “So when do you want to have the wedding, darling? I was thinking a couple months from now when the Pentagram moon will be out. It’ll make the day even more special! Oh, we’ll have to get planning right away! I have so many ideas in mind, how about you?”

“I guess.”

“Are you alright, my little apple?”

“I’m feeling a bit sick actually. Could we maybe go home?”

“Of course, my dear. Let me just pay the check.”

Lucifer flagged down our waitress, paid the bill and then led me out to the car. Customers kept shouting at us congratulations as we left and I remained silent the whole ride home. When we arrived inside, I immediately headed for the bedroom. If I was going to escape, it better be tonight. “I think I’ll take a bath and then head to bed, Lucifer.”

“Alright. I’ll be in my office for a bit. I hope you feel better soon, dear.”

He gave me a light peck on the forehead and then left. Now to put my plan into action.

I headed to the wardrobe and pulled out a light blue nightgown. I grabbed it and went into the bathroom. Locking the door, I pulled off the red dress and put on the nightgown. Opening the cabinet, I pulled out my rope. Grabbing the red dress, I attached it to the end and tied the rope to the foot of the bathtub. Tugging on it to make sure it was secure, I unlatched the window and threw it out. I looked back at the door to make sure nobody was there and then began climbing down. My stomach twisted as I was quite high up and my foot had slipped a couple of times, but I finally made it to the ground. Peering around the corner of the palace, I saw David and Goliath sleeping in the front yard. Good to go.

I bolted as fast as I could to the hole in the fence. I moved aside the bushes and quickly squoze through. I hissed as the fence had caused a couple of gashes on my arm and tore a bit of my nightgown from the sharp edges. Looking around for some kind of direction, I saw in the distance the sparkling marquee that read Hazbin Hotel. I grinned and ran like my life depended on it.

~~~

TAGLIST

@ladymothbeth @cosmic-spider @l0vedoe @stormz369 @strawberry-gothic @repostingmyfavs @purplechan9 @caniseethefourthsword @rl800 @froggybich @txpchhhhhhh @stayinguplate @theonlykawaiigod-blog

[sirfrogsworth]

I do not fucking care what kind of home life Elon Musk went through. Are you aware of the millions of lives that he is actively ruining? He could be going to therapy about it but instead he is choosing to actively continue the things that he’s doing and the life he is currently living. I have a brother who went through zero trauma with absolutely adoring doting parents and he still turned out to be a child molesting incel white supremacist because that’s what he chose over and over again to dedicate his life to. Are you going to tell me to be all sad for him now that he fucked up his own life diddling kids? You want to feel bad for him? Go fuck yourself. Stop downplaying the harm that people are choosing to participate in.

I am disabled and housebound.

I will die without Social Security and Medicare.

I am aware of the stakes.

My brother had the same parents as me. Best parents anyone could hope for. Loving and supportive. They made great sacrifices to help us.

His wife was abused as a child. It caused her to be paranoid, untrusting, and she was extremely manipulative as a defense mechanism. She slowly brainwashed and corrupted my brother. She abused him. Then he abused and neglected myself and our loving parents.

It seems you were traumatized as well. And now your trauma is fueling your anger toward me. You used it to say hurtful things and you used your trauma to justify hurting me.

It's trauma all the way down.

I understand some of the anger you have toward your brother. Watching someone who won the parental lottery turn into an abuser was heartbreaking. I can't imagine how hard that must be for you. But shitty parents are not the only path to being an awful person. Indoctrination and radicalization are very prevalent forces. Especially with the Jordan Petersons and Andrew Tates of the world. Your brother most likely did not just turn into what he is. There could be trauma you are unaware of. Or he could have just been sucked in by nefarious influences that offered him something he desperately wanted and then they used that to instill bigotry.

"Clean your room and hate women."

"Do sit ups and eat healthy then man up and assert your dominance."

I don't think I can fix my brother. He's too far gone. And it sounds like yours should be in prison if he isn't already. But it was important to me that I understood how my brother got to the place where he could abuse me and my parents. It helped me process my own trauma. I am not saying you need to do the same. I'm just telling you it helped me.

I am still very angry and I still struggle with my trauma. I will probably never forgive him. I hold him fully responsible for the choices he made despite his abusive situation. I am not excusing any behavior just because I feel empathy.

Understanding how bad people become bad people helps me. I also think it helps our society identify what we need to fix in order to help prevent more Elons from manifesting. It's clear that trauma is a huge factor. Poverty, poor education, indoctrination seem like huge variables too. Access to mental healthcare seems vital.

The nature vs. nurture debate has been going on for a long time. Science seems to think they are both factors. Good parents raise bad kids. Bad parents raise good kids. That's true. But there are more factors beyond that and genetic predisposition is rare.

Elon was abused. But he also grew up in apartheid South Africa. His entire environment was based on dehumanizing Black folks. Then he went straight from there to hanging with shitty white tech bros. His bad behavior was probably praised and encouraged and his peers saw it as a good thing.

Could he have overcome his trauma and influences? I don't know. The people who have managed it usually struggle with it their entire lives. They need therapy. They need a good support system. They need to be vigilant in their decision-making. Making good choices is not always easy. And expecting everyone to have that willpower is unrealistic.

If you think I am downplaying harm, I'm going to strongly disagree. What I am hoping to do is figure out a way to prevent future harm. I want traumatized people to have the resources to safely process what happened to them so it is easier for them to make good choices. And I'd really like to prevent trauma from happening in the first place.

But I still very much want the rich and powerful who make awful choices to face consequences.

The empathy I have felt toward Elon and Trump equates to a few flashes here and there. It is minuscule compared to what I feel for my trans friends, migrants, and the people facing war and genocide.

This is a fucked up situation. Most of us have never faced this intensity of fascism so close to home. It's confusing and angering and it is hard to process.

I get why you are angry with me.

And I get why that other person felt dehumanizing was necessary.

This is all novel and expecting people to automatically know the best way to deal with it is also unrealistic. People were pretty hard on that person. But I empathize with them as well. This is fucking scary. And fighting the instinct to just view people as evil entities is hard. I struggle with it too. I have to remind myself that Elon is a very human dipshit. And perhaps those flashes of empathy help me do that.

Just know I want all of us to get through this.

[dailynnt]

Hello dear Army 💜 I really hope you are all healthy and doing well 🥺

I wanted to let you know that I won't be able to post anything this week 💔

I'm having some difficulties with my physical and mental health and I wouldn't want it to affect my writing. Therefore, I have to put my thoughts in order to write something really interesting and good for you 🙏🏻 I don't know who is waiting, but among the subscribers I have, I know there are definitely people who are waiting for my fanfiction 🥺 I would never want to keep you waiting, but my condition does not allow me to create normally 💔

I sincerely hope for your understanding and ask you to wait a little longer 🙏🏻 Take care and be happy 💜

P.S. The news that some crazy woman tried to break into Jungkook's house finally killed me 🤦🏼‍♀️ I don't understand why people don't understand that he is a living person and they are violating his boundaries??!!! I wonder what she would have achieved if she had gotten into his house? I just don't have enough anger for such "fans". Their obsession is what is most annoying 🤯🤬

[quitealotofsodapop]

AU idea: Wukong goes into labor with the stone egg WHILE he's fighting Macaque

Not sure which fight you mean honestly, but I assume you meant the "OG" fight back during the Journey days.

I imagine this all occurs likely in a version of the Jttw Stone Egged au where Macaque joins the gang after he found out.

Wukong and Macaque are fighting neck and neck when Macaque finally stops to listen to Wukong's shouts;

Wukong, in tears: "Macaque please! Don't make me do this! I'm with-" Macaque: "What's that weird noise??" Wukong: "Huh?" Macaque: "It sorta sounds like a... bag of water? With a heartbeat inside of- OHHHH!" Macaque: (*points at Wukong's pants*) Wukong: (*looks down and sees that his water has broken*) Both monkeys: (*start screaming!*)

Macaque drops his glamour immediately to tend to his mate.

Macaque: "I have so many questions! Who, why, and how long?!" Wukong, has Macaque's hand in a death-grip: "You, Mountain, 500 years." Macaque, mental gears turning: "Huh!?! How did- ohhh wait... self-spawning. If I had kept coming and fed you peaches you wouldn't have-" Wukong: "Yeah!" Macaque: "And since I wa- Am your mate the kid would be-" Wukong: "YEAH." Macaque, trying to lighten the mood: "Do I get visitation rights?" Wukong, voice deepening: "DON'T PUSH IT, BUD!"

Eventually the Pilgrims and Guanyin catch up (the Bodhisattva heard that water break from across the sea), and see the Six Eared Macaque has completely dropped his Monkey King glamour and is trying his best to keep the real Sun Wukong's breathing steady.

Guanyin quickly gets to work; bringing Wukong to somewhere nice and warm and dry to have the baby. They suggest that the reappearance of the other parent (i.e Macaque) caused the Egg to prematurely decide to make itself known.

Bonus if this is the first time certain Pilgrims (besides a wise dragon-dragon) heard of such a thing XD

Ao Lie, excited: "It's already happening!? Congratulations!!" Wukong: "Thanks Lie, but I'd prefer to get the kid out before you all start thanking me." Zhu Bajie, oblivious: "Wait what kid!? They heck is everyone talking about?!" Tripitaka: (*hyperventilating into his hat like it's a paper bag*) Sha Wujing: "I suppose well wishes are in order! Did Brother Wukong drink from the same river and choose to decline the cure?" Wukong: "No, it's HIS fault." (*jabs thumb at Macaque*) Macaque: (*blushing, waves nervously at his mate's Pilgrim brothers*) Ao Lie, breaking the tension: "So this is your Equal in Strength you've been telling us about!" Macaque, slight smugness: "That's what you've been calling me?" Wukong, gritting teeth from pain: "Not now Mihou..."

Macaque stays at Wukong's side the whole time, even as his instincts are going nuts, snarling at the Pilgrims if they dare approach. And even when his hand was definitely broken by Wukong's grip during a really bad contraction.

The rest of the Pilgrims meditate and pray for Wukong and the baby's health. Ao Lie makes a point of chilling in his dragon form to scare off any passing creatures or people - dragons don't like being disturbed when they're laying an egg, and he imagines its the same for Stone Monkeys.

After a lot of pushing and encouragement, a tiny egg makes itself known, cracking open shortly thereafter.

What lies within?

A chirpy, chubby-faced baby monkey with glowing (Macaque starts crying then) ears and dark fur - the little thing's cries sounding indignant as if they'd been awakened from a long sleep. Guanyin makes a point to gather the citrine and amethyst-imbedded shell of the newborn for the parents to keep.

Wukong and Macaque can't even remember what they were fighting about earlier - all that matters is the clinging baby on Wukong's chest. Little thing is a bit smaller than expected due to their premature birth, but they're healthy and hungry.

The rest of the Pilgrims are allowed in after everything is cleaned up and Macaque's hand has been bandaged.

First thing out of anyone's mouth is;

Zhu Bajie: "I thought monkeys had litters?" Wukong, growling: "Don't jinx me."

So yeah, now the Journey has a newborn baby and it's dad along for the ride.

[theressaicon]

m!Android caregiver x crazy psychiatric patient gn!reader

part 3

Before reading this part, look at the part 1! and part 2!

Warnings: psychotic behavior, schizophrenia, hearing voices, seeing floating eyes, hallucinations, taking medication, body to body contact, naked gn!reader (taking a shower), dirty thoughts lmao

Otherwise: soft caregiver android, gentle with gn!reader, understanding, fluff, willing gn!reader in love~, confused android Alois because of his feelings (?), protective

All the corridors Alois walked through seemed emptier than usual. Despite the overheating of his entire program, his visual self had not changed. Pale synthetic skin, inhuman blue eyes and a straightened posture.

At first glance, one cannot tell that he is not a human but an android with the program of a caregiver. He was heading to a ward for mentally disabled people who weren't nearly as dangerous as you. At least that's what the file of information that was uploaded into his knowledge described.

He detected people with abnormal behavior, some laughing uncontrollably, others making strange noises, each with at least one caregiver by their side.

Mr. Paul, a slightly overweight man with square-shaped glasses, was on a break and waiting for Alois. When he checked on Alois's work, he wanted him to come see him after. He was not his superior, but Alois obeyed his colleague's order without question.

The building had a break room with a small kitchen and places to sit. Paul was eating a sandwich that looked less healthy than most of the patients.

„Hello again." Alois greeted and closed the door behind him. Paul started talking to him with his mouth full, Alois apologized for not understanding him. Swallowing, Paul started again. „I'm telling you to sit down." His voice was more neutral than Alois's.

When Alois sat down opposite him, Paul started eating again. „Hey um.. Do you have like.. a brain?" „I have an artificial nerve center that could be compared to a brain." Wiping his mouth with his fat thumb, a thoughtful expression appeared on his face.

„Means you're able to learn, eh?" „That is correct." „So I'll tell you something you don't have in your patient's file." Alois got concerned. „Did they forget to upload some important information?" he asked immediately. „You bet." Paul put down his sandwich and took a sip of the coffee placed on his right."

„People can be very manipulative. You may not have noticed it, but they're playing with ya." Alois decided to remain silent. „They're up to something." „Why do you think that, sir?" „'Cause I was here when they were brought here. They were like a normal patient at first. Well, not normal, no patient here is normal, but y'know what I mean."

He dug dramatically into his sandwich again. „It is said that they went crazy after their accident. Before that, they were completely fine, sane." Alois had no idea what happened to you, he only knew your current condition.

„They suddenly stopped communicating and kept attacking for no reason during any interaction." He took another sip and leaned back in his chair, which made a creaking noise under his weight.

„We've been trying to figure out how to communicate with them for a month now. But the bastard won't cooperate. They act like a dog. Growls, barks, and bites. Literally." Paul tucked his greasy hair behind his ear.

„Look what that bitch did to me." He showed that he only had the top part of his earlobe, the rest was bitten off and scarred. Alois didn't like the vocabulary he was using. „Boss says they do it out of fear. But they take quite a lot of pills for schizophrenia, so I don't know what the fuck they're still afraid of."

Alois was evaluating his thoughts. He knew what you were going through, he had planned to write it down in your public file. However a lot of things didn't make sense to him. Why do you see things that you shouldn't be able to see with your medication?

„I heard from them that they constantly hear unpleasant voices." Alois finally spoke. „Oh you heard that from them, huh?" „Yes, I deci-" „So they just pretended not to talk the whole time! I knew it!" Paul pointed his dirty finger at Alois as if it was his fault.

„That is not-.." Alois was cut off once again. „They're planning to break out!" „Your assumptions are not adequate." „Are you really that stupid? I thought you'd have a higher IQ as an android." Paul leaned closer to him and began to assert his assumptions again.

„I saw them sitting there without wearing a straitjacket. They were calm. Do you understand? CALM! And when I appeared, they pretended in front of me that something was happening to them. They were covering their ears and whining like a victim. They are trying to wrap you around their finger and then run away!"

„Trust is one of the most important aspec-" „You know what I think? They're possessed by the devil. It's necessary that-.." „But that's not related to-" Suddenly Paul slammed his fist on the table, his coffee mug clinking for a moment. „Don't ever interrupt me, you idiotic robot."

In the silence that ensued, Alois received recommendations for various medications that Paul, as a potential patient, could take. „I still have work to do, I am asking you to excuse me." Alois ended their conversation.

He got up from his chair and was about to leave until Paul opened his mouth again. „Wait." Alois focused his blue eyes on his expression. „Sit down." He said strictly. Alois obeyed. „Mhm.. and now blink." Alois found these commands strange, but he obeyed. Paul chuckled. „Alright, get out."

Alois wasn't as stupid as Paul thought. He knew very well that he had given him these orders only to feel that he had power over him. Alois had no emotions towards his behavior. But he didn't want to discuss anything further with him, he knew that it would be a waste of time. He had questions, but asking an obsessive, unhealthy person wouldn't help him answer them. So he hoped to find help from someone who was sensible.

The sign on the door, 'PhDr. Broderick J. Benignus', marked the office of the head of the entire psychiatric hospital. Knocking, he waited for his voice. It sounded authoritative, but without roughness. „Come in." He opened the door and stepped inside, closing the door afterwards.

„Greetings, sir." The gentleman with the narrow glasses on his nose looked up. His expression changed completely before he spoke. "Hello, Alois, I didn't expect you here so early. Is something the matter?" He took off his glasses with a smile and encouraged him to sit in the chair opposite.

„I would like to discuss my patient with you." „Problems?" „...the opposite." „Oh?" He explained to him that your behavior partly does not correspond to the informations and datas he received. With a little patience, he can communicate with you verbally and did not forget to say how much you are trying to cooperate.

„This situation is really strange, I admit." He thought for a moment, took a deep breath, then continued. „However, their behavior is spontaneous, they have a clear reason why they trust you. Did you find out why?" „Y/N L/N explained to me that they feel the safest with me." „That's only good, I did the right thing by asking for your services. Did they confide in you more specifically about why they only feel comfortable with you?" Alois remembered the drawings he still had in his pocket.

„..Yes." „Does their explanation make sense?" "„Also yes." „In that case, I don't see a problem with why the situation should be so strange after all." Alois lowered his blue eyes slightly and continued listening. „You're working here on your first day and yet you've found out more information about L/N's condition than any of us in a month."

After a moment of silence, Alois confided one more thing. „Mr. Paul wanted to talk to me. He shared his opinion on my patient." „I assume he's still upset about having a piece of his ear bitten off?" „Yes, that too."

„You see, Mr. Paul isn't exactly the sharpest pencil in the pencil case. We have a decent number of caregivers, but not enough doctors. While he's good at diagnostics, he's not exactly a good companion."

„It was clear from his words that he harbored hatred for my patient. I don't want to change his opinion and I won't, it just seems to me that he is trying to influence my own opinion of Y/N."

„I understand your concerns, Alois." PhDr. Benignus sympathized. „Whose patient is Y/N L/N?" „...mine, sir." „Who is responsible for them?" „I am responsible for them." „Are your tasks clear to you?" „Yes, they are." „Then form your own opinion about your own patient. You are the only one who can help L/N. You can be inspired by the opinions of others, but if they seem wrong to you, they seem wrong to you for a good reason. Listen to yourself. The only superior you have here is me, but you are also my equal, do you understand?"

Things began to fall into place for Alois and his burdensome thoughts became lighter. „Yes sir, thank you for your time and help." „Glad I could help. If something else happens, you know what to do."

□▫︎■▪︎□▫︎■▪︎□▫︎■▪︎□▫︎■▪︎□▫︎

'How long have I been here?' You asked yourself. 'How long has this been going on?' Your thoughts led you to questions about how long these strange things had been happening to you. You tried to converse with the eyeballs around you. All they did was stare. Most of them were touching you. They had no set temperature, they seemed slimy, yet without texture.

No matter how hard you listened, you couldn't understand a single word that was whispered. There were so many different voices, yet they were all the same. You could hear your heart beating, you felt your lungs expanding with each breath, the mechanism of your intestines was unpleasantly recognizable. Everything you were experiencing at the moment was complemented by a headache.

You would never have believed that you would like the creaking sound of that heavy metal door to your room. A smile graced your face as you looked at your personal caregiver. Ah, how handsome he was from head to toe. Eyeballs around you angled out of Alois's way as he approached you. „Hello, Y/N, it's so nice to see you again." He spoke with a smile and pulled out a piece of clear tape from his coat pocket. He grabbed the drawing of him that you had drawn and taped it to the wall above your bed. You giggled like a happy baby. The way he leaned over you? Hello?

„On a scale from one to ten, how much do you like toasts?" He started the conversation while he was untying your legs. You remembered that you made toasts quite often, so you probably liked them. To answer his question, you mouthed the word „eight", rising your shoulders, not being sure.

As soon as he untied you, he had to tie you down to the armchair in the dining room again. Although you preferred to have your limbs free, your priority was to be with Alois. You understood that if you behaved well, circumstances would also be good. Disappointed people were capable of breaking you, but a disappointed Alois would break your heart irreparably. He would treat you with respect and care if you cooperated, that's what he said himself. There isn't even a point in making trouble to the only person that actually cares for you.

The table trolley was already ready with your dinner, toasts with a glass of orange juice. „I'm going to ask you to open your mouth." Alois requested, placing one of the toasts he was holding in a tissue to your mouth. You started to open your mouth, but something seemed strange. Your eyes scanned the room. This had never happened before: All the eyeballs were gathered around the camera in the upper corner of the room.

They were all staring straight at it, not one of them paying attention to you this time. While it was a relief on one hand, it was strange. Alois looked in the direction you were looking and asked what you saw. It was hard to speak. „Take it easy, don't rush. Look at me and take it slow." You swallowed to moisten your parched throat a little. „The eye..ba-balls… c-..amera." „All off them?" You nodded. Alois stood up from his chair and fixed his gaze on the camera. Nothing happened for a moment, then sudenly all of them darted back across the room. You let Alois know that the eyballs were back on you.

You were both equally confused. For the rest of your dinner you ate in silence, Alois saying a few words here and there to make you smile. Your arrangement was the same as usual. You counted to ten until Alois returned. The more times this happened, the better you got at it. Even though you always ended up sweaty and your heart could have jumped out of your chest, his return was worth it.

First, he placed a white towel with new clothes he had brought on the chair where he had been sitting before, next he knelt down to untie the belt holding your legs. 'The view of him at my feet isn't so bad..' You thought. 'Oh no, what the hell am I thinking!?' After Alois untied your chest as well, he helped you to stand up. „Your cardiovascular activity is still high, is something wrong?" You didn't plan on telling him that you imagined him in the least holy position possible. So you just smiled like a sunshine and snuggled closer to him.

You had mixed feelings on the way to the shower room. Not only were you uncomfortable with someone looking at you or even touching you without your clothes on, but you were traumatized by the water. Water is one of the reasons you ended up where you are now.

Before that, Alois let you use the restroom. It was the smallest room, with only a toilet and dim lighting. While it was the most humiliating situation for you, Alois was only following instructions. He leaned over to move your pants to your ankles, but stopped at your mumbling.

„There is no need to feel embarrassed." The mumbling of yours did not stop. „Here, I will look away." Alois turned his head in different direction and pulled your pants down. You knew the rest. After doing what you needed to do you were supposed to kick the door two times.

Taking your sweet time, you were overthinking the stuff that will have to happen afterwards. The truth was you would let him touch you in any-fucking-way, any-fucking-time except THIS time! Breathe in, breathe out. The only eyes that were on you right now where the floating ones.

Straightening up, you kicked the door twice and closed your legs as much as possible. The door opened, revealing Alois who had a piece of toilet paper in one hand. Before he could do anything, you shook your head aggressively. Remember when you promised yourself you would always cooperate? Well, about that...

If Alois ever had the need to sigh, he would now. „You know what? I am going to wash your whole body anyways. Stand up." Were you relieved or stressed even more? You didn't know yourself.

As soon as you entered the shower room, the lights came on automatically. It was brighter than any other room, hurting your eyes. The walls were tiled. A shower head was hung in the middle of one of the walls, with a small drain hole underneath for water to drain.

A few days ago, this place was all blood. You don't know what happened to the caregiver when those eyeballs came out of him. You followed your defensive instincts. The worst feelings only caught up with you after a while. You swore you could still taste his blood on your tongue. Unexpectedly the sick feeling and dizziness overwhelmed you, making you lightheaded. Alois had his hand on your back, noticing the change in your balance.

„I've got you." His voice grounded you again. Eyeballs flew close to the floor, like dogs trying to pick up a scent trail. With each step, your anxiety grew and your stomach began to tighten.

The built-in chains in the wall reflected the unpleasant light directly into your misty eyes. 'Alois is a caregiver, he's an android who can't have dirty thoughts like any other disgusting human... like me.'

„I know you know the procedure, but I suggest that I describe each step to you so as not to catch you off guard in any way." The words that came out of him echoed off the tiles. Your head bowed and with your eyes closed you nodded.

„First, I am going to take off your straitjacket and t-shirt." He stepped closer and released your arms, untying the jacket. Next, carefully turned you to face the wall and while standing behind you, he asked you to raise your hands above your head. You already felt exposed enough. Then Alois folded the clothes he had taken off and placed them on the floor in the other corner of the room.

As he walked back towards you, he spoke again. „Now I will have to lock your hands with handcuffs, attached to the chains." Without examining you with his eyes, he leaned over your shoulder and the chains jingled in his hand. The chains hung loosely around your wrists because you were standing close to the wall. Two steps back would cause your arms to stretch out.

In the past you had tried to rip the chains off the wall. However, it was so strong that even Alois probably wouldn't be able to separate them from the wall. „Would you be so kind and lifted one of your feet up?" The steady speech of his made you feel at ease. Carefully, without rushing, your shoes got taken off one by one.

Still on knees, Alois tapped on one of your hips to aware you of his next move. „I remind you that you don't need to be shy in front of me. I am a trained caregiver like any other doctor." The room was closed off with no windows, but the temperature felt lower when you didn't have a single piece of clothing on.

Standing with your hands handcuffed and facing the wall, you felt too vulnerable. Nothing could happen to you, you knew that, but you weren't safe from your own thoughts. „Just a moment, please." Alois's voice echoed.

Mind blurry, but present, you were shaken up. He was aware that you wanted to get out of this room and situation as quickly as possible. He didn't want to let you suffer, but hygiene was very important and he wasn't going to neglect it.

Reaching his hand for the shower head hanging next to you, he continued to describe what was going to happen. „I will set the water temperature to the optimum first." He stood directly behind you, yet the unfamiliar voices reached you.

Your pupils shrank to the size of pins. That tightness in chest was unbearable. You stopped caring that you were naked, flashbacks reminding you of the event that put you in a place like this.

The vehicle's dim lights illuminated the narrow road, not a crack in sight. The sun had not been shining for a few hours now, the clouds obscured stars with the moon. But in the stream of memories, there is a hole full of emptiness, then nothing for a long time.

Water from the shower head began to hiss against the wall you stood next to, creating an unpleasant vision of another memory.

In the pitch darkness, you felt your wet skin, clothes stuck to you with icy water, and panic. This emotion was also reflected in your present, your breathing quickened, but you couldn't move an inch.

In the back of your mind, you heard Alois say your name, but your attention was long lost.

The wind was relentless that night, the leaves of the trees rustling so loudly that you couldn't hear the wood cracking above your head.

At last, a strong shock wave bursted through your sore body, forcing you to let out a painful scream.

After opening your eyes, you stood back in the shower room, pulling on the chains that held your hands. Saliva spurted out of your mouth from your screams, you looked like a wild animal with rabies.

The water quickly turned off as Alois touched your left shoulder with his left hand, still standing behind you. Resisting, you snapped at his hand with your teeth, missing. With quick movements, he put you in a headlock and tried to hold you in place.

He let you scream at the top of your lungs for a while longer before he began to speak in a low voice. „Y/N, shh. Nothing bad is happening." His words went in one of your ears and out the other.

The flailing of yours continued, eyeballs appearing around the two of you. „Ten, nine, eight,.." Alois's voice rang in your ears softly. „..seven, six, five,.." Joining him, your struggling eased. „..four, three, two, one." Standing still, you were as one.

Your thoughts calmed down, then you began to apologize for your behavior. However, Alois only half-heard you, he was trying to repeat the instructions to himself.

»Secure the patient, maintain hygiene - wash the patient, dry them and dress them.«

They seemed simple, yet they didn't fit the program like they should. 'Securing' you meant handcuffing you to the wall to immobilize your movements.

However, his work should result in you being in the highest comfort possible. Was he overthinking too much?

»The caregiver helps solve the patient's problems.« _ »The patient's comfort is a priority.« _ »Through mutual trust, the caregiver finds ways to solve problems in an individual way.«

„Listen to yourself."

„You know what to do."

„..their behavior is spontaneous, they have a clear reason why they trust you."

All the advice, data, and gossip was coming from all directions. The robotic body of his started to overheat again like an old computer. You could feel his warmth through his white T-shirt, bringing you the feeling of comfort in his embrace.

„You are like a cat." Alois's voice echoed. A gentle hand covered in synthetic skin caressed your arm with more words. „You bite, scratch... make warning sounds and defended yourself." He slowly released you from the headlock he had you in. „After a while of coaxing, you calm down and slowly start to trust."

His tall figure was still standing by your side, or rather behind you. You turned your head to look at him. „..And as far as I can tell, you do not like water. Like a cat." Petting your head affectionately, he watched you change your expression as you cracked a smile at the last comment.

Some of the adrenaline drained from your blood and you suddenly began to feel a burning sensation on your wrists. There's no wonder, pulling on the chains in an attempt to free yourself must damage a bare skin.

„Would you wish to try a different method?" After a violent nod of your head, he left the room for a moment. Before eyeballs could crawl to you tho, he was back again. Alois was holding a washcloth in his hand, which he then placed on the floor. You were surprised by his decision to remove your handcuffs, as if you weren’t trying to rip them off the wall just a moment ago. But you weren’t going to complain in any way.

„I believe we will not be needing these." The confidence in his voice made your poor heart skip a beat. The carefulness of his humanly-looking hands was inhuman. He barely touched the red spots left by the handcuffs.

The chains jingled and you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. Walls seemed to expand along with your lungs.

Alois soaked the aforementioned washcloth with the weakest stream of water. „I hope you're not in a hurry, I'm about to take my time with you." Whatever it sounded like, you were writhing in your skin like an earthworm.

As soon as your metal friend turned around, you broke out in a cold sweat. It was only then that you realized again that you weren't wearing a single piece of clothing. „I know that expression, Y/N. Stay calm, everything remains professional."

It didn't take long for you to relax under the wet washcloth that Alois was using tenderly. He started with your face, holding your cheek with one hand to stop you from twitching. You melted into his palm, your legs going weak. He was only at your ears and you already felt like jelly.

He wet the washcloth again and focused on your neck and shoulders. His hand moved to your shoulder blade to keep you steady. While Alois focused on ridding you of bacteria, you were almost drowning in his neon blue eyes.

You were sure they glowed in the dark. The color of his eyes was the least human thing he had, yet the most beautiful. „Is there something on your mind, Y/N?" Alois felt how you shivered under his fingers.

Your shoulders tensed, making Alois stop. He focused his attention on your expression, trying to study it. There was a desire to stay and at the same time to run away.

Your thoughts have traveled to where they shouldn't have. Again. Then you lowered your eyes, feeling that if Alois looked into them for too long, he would be able to read all your thoughts.

Your cleaning process continued in the same way. He was careful, occasionally holding a part of your body to keep your balance. He promised you that he would save the intimate areas for last.

There are remnants of foam left on you, decorating your figure. „Y/N, would it be possible to try running the water on you again?" You were expecting this question and mentally prepared yourself for it.

„It's not about making your washing process as fast as possible, but it's about getting rid of more dirt this way." Alois meant nothing but well.

Deep down, you wanted to get rid of your fear, nonetheless it was easier said than done. Alois gave you a moment to think. After a moment of thinking, you started to feel a little cold. Alois noticed and responded by soaking the washcloth in warm water before continuing to clean you up.

Both of you remained quiet. An uneasy silence reigned throughout the tiled room. Your eyes wandered down to Alois's frame, kneeling on one knee.

He focused on washing your shin while holding your calf with his other hand. Whether he was above or below you, your eyes never got tired of this view.

Looking at him brought you comfort. Until your eyes met; that made you nervous... yet seen. Just as he did, you glanced straight in front of you, "admiring" the tiles.

„Your body temperature is dropping more and more." He stated into the silence, his voice echoing.

He stood up in your view and turned you closer to the wall. After positioning himself behind you, like he did last time, he carefully grabbed your arms and motioned for you to sit down. Surprised, you found yourself in his lap.

He obviously didn't mind that you were all soapy and wet. You felt a warmth in your back that drove the shivers away from your body.

This was the first time Alois had used his heating system of his own free will, but you didn't need to know that.

Sometimes laughter escaped your mouth as Alois tried to wash your feet. You were still twitching like before, but at least now with positive emotions. It gave him a sense of satisfaction that he was doing his job correctly.

Time flowed like the water that still hadn't been released. You tried to find a normal memory in that twisted head of yours, where you shower in. It took a lot of strength, because of all the fear you had felt for eternity.

'There it is...' your inner voice spoke through the scrubbing noises of washcloth. You remembered that you used to have a small bathroom, an average sink and a narrow shower.

The light in that bathroom flickered softly, but the water felt pleasantly warm, almost hot, on your skin. You hadn't felt warm water on your body for a long time. But you hadn't forgotten that pleasant feeling after a long hard day at work.

The fear of running water turned into a sudden desire. You didn't need therapeutic exercises or a consultation with a psychologist. Just time and space.

Alois saw you pointing your finger and reaching for the shower head. „Very brave gesture."

Your blood froze in your veins at the first touch of the water, but with Alois's patience you soon relaxed.

The shivers left you and you felt warmth not only from the inside but also from the outside.

...

'This is the first time I've seen her so relaxed.' Alois's inner voice spoke. Usually he would see various notifications and charts, that was his way of "thinking". Now he could only read one coded sentence.

»Patient's comfort reached.«

□▫︎■▪︎□▫︎■▪︎□▫︎■▪︎□▫︎■▪︎□▫︎

As quickly as the worries had disappeared, they had reappeared. There was this buzz in the back of your head.

Instinct made you look towards the door. Eyeballs were shaking and flying around it like crazy. Neither of them were paying attention to you. Luckily.

The tension in your muscles appeared like before. Your android caregiver studied your sudden reaction and mood swing. His hearing was more sensitive than a human's. You saw something, he heard something.

You were both looking in the same direction at the moment. The splashing of water was interrupted by the door being roughly opened.

„What is your reason for being here, Dr. Paul?" Alois's voice rang out as he stood himself protectively in front of you.

You immediately crossed your arms in front of your bare chest. You hunched over, trying to hide your figure as effectively as possible behind Alois, who was having a conversation with the evil doctor.

Pointing at you, Paul shouted with unknowable emotion in his voice: „Their hands are not cuffed!" Fear surged through your veins, you carefully grabbed Alois's white coat.

„I have assessed that handcuffs are not necessary." Alois uttered. „Ohh, boss is NOT going to like this." Paul grew a smirk on his fat, sweaty face, taking a few steps towards were you two were standing.

„You're not supposed to be here." „I'm a doctor, I have every right to be here." You felt too vulnerable. Even when you were hidden behind Alois, you were still naked and helpless.

While Alois turned off the running water and hung the shower head up, Paul moved closer and closer.

It was here again. It would happen again. It was happening again. The eyeballs that had been circling around him a moment ago were now entering his body one by one. With each step his entire appearance changed; he was literally turning black.

His disgusting voice turned into rasps and grunts. Suddenly he spoke in a language you didn't know. His upper limbs were being dragged on the floor, dark smoke was coming out of his back that smelled like something burned.

„My patient is in discomfort, I ask you to leave. Now." „No metal thing will tell me what to do!" Alois detected the anxiety in your body, you were shaking with terror.

With a quick movement, he took off his coat, which you had been gripping on, and placed it around your shoulders, as he took a step closer to the still approaching Paul.

Dr. Paul shouted at the top of his lungs, but you only heard screams and growls coming from the monster he had transformed into.

„I order you to get out of my way immediately, I intend to take care of them MYSELF!" „Paul, I warn you, do not attempt to touch my client." Alois replied in an assertive voice as he walked slowly towards him.

Now Alois and the monster faced each other. The black figure roared and screeched while Alois spoke with surprising calmness.

The monster turned its head towards you and back to Alois repeatedly. In any other situation, it would have rushed at you, but Alois kept it at bay.

„I am fully aware of your rights, mine, and my patient's." „Do you think you're something more than ME!?" Dr. Paul kept spitting. „No, that is what you think."

That doctor obsessed with you has had enough. „That's it- I'LL PUNISH THEM MYSELF! Come here, you little-" That black monster took its last step towards you, until...

As soon as Alois touched Dr. Paul, the black matter that had surrounded him before spread out in all directions and transformed back into eyeballs.

You saw the crazy doctor again. This time, however, he was hanging above the ground because your caregiver was holding him by the collar of his shirt.

While he kicked his feet nervously, Alois continued to speak calmly to him. „I see that you have problems with aggression, I would recommend Himalaya Mentat, Advance Modin, Puhdistamo L-Theanine or Chinese medicine. I'm sure you're familiar with these medications."

„P-PUT ME DOWN YOU FUCKING ROBOT!" „And also Kardious for high blood pressure. Your heart rate exceeds 140/90 mm Hg."

Your fear and stress turned into giggles. The person who often hurt you was now helpless and at a disadvantage. Who wouldn't laugh?

Paul saw you and started sweating more than before. „Let me down, Alois... You're embarrassing me!" „You're embarrassing yourself, Dr. Paul."

After a while of 'torturing', Alois put Paul down and led him into the hallway. Then he returned to you, intending to continue as if nothing had happened.

„May I have my coat back, please?" Alois started. You wanted to playfully provoke, but decided to be nice instead. After all, he literally saved you. And according to your files, he may have saved Paul's other earlobe as well.

„You handled this situation perfectly, I apologize for my colleague. He... is not a very good companion." he told you as he turned the warm water back on, letting you relax under it for a few more minutes.

As he promised, he left the intimate parts until the very end. He was patient and offered different options that you might feel comfortable with.

„Would it be better for you to sit down?"

„Would you like me to use the washcloth?"

„I could do it with my eyes closed..."

„No, I can't 'just rinse' you with water, that would be neglect."

„Yes, I believe you are capable of doing it yourself. However, I would still have to check your work afterwards."

You tried to get out of it as best as you could, but to no avail. Finally, he brought you a plastic chair, sat you down, wrapped you in a towel so you wouldn't be cold, and cleaned what he could with a washcloth.

You froze when he grabbed your ankle while you were kicking your feet in discomfort. He held you tightly, strictly... But still careful not to bruise your skin.

He rinsed you off with water one last time and dried you thoroughly before dressing you in new clean clothes, including a straitjacket.

Before he could put it on you, you wrapped your arms around his hard metal waist as a thank you for not letting Dr. Paul hurt you.

...You would let him pet your head forever.

□▫︎■▪︎□▫︎■▪︎□▫︎■▪︎□▫︎■▪︎□▫︎

Despite the unwelcome visitor, this was the most calmly managed showering for you in this facility.

But time was running out, there were only a few last moments left to spend with Alois before your brain was drugged again.

„Does it feel good to feel clean?" Alois broke the silence with this sentence. Overwhelmed with thoughts, you decided to simply nod.

You weren't the only one with a head full of thoughts. While you were thinking about how to extend your time together, Alois was thinking of various alternatives for how the situation with Dr. Paul would be handled.

He wanted to share his thoughts with someone reasonable, like PhDr. Broderick J. Benignus, and for some reason he wanted to share them with you as well. But would that be appropriate? Wouldn't it be a mistake to discuss this situation with his own patient? On the other hand, it also affected you.

First things first, it was time to brush your teeth.

Another armchair, another belts to hold you down. Before Alois could think about whether it was necessary to tie you down, you were already sitting in the armchair.

„You are improving." he announced. You took his sentence as a compliment and responded with a smile. „I am going to modify your file." he said as he fastened you. „There aren't many positive things written there."

Suddenly, he pulled out a case with a toothbrush inside from his pants pocket. „I feel like you don't deserve such reputation."

The toothbrush had a short handle with rounded edges for safety. The workers believed that even an ordinary toothbrush could kill one of them if it fell into your hands.

Alois took his time to clean every tooth so that no plaque remained on them. He used a non-irritating toothpaste and occasionally let you rinsed your mouth with water from a cup he held to your mouth.

Everything went smoothly. You used the time of your silence to daydream about the way he took off his coat, handing it to you...

You noticed that his arm was covered in synthetic skin only up to the shoulder, which was black and shiny. When you hugged him after the shower, his torso and waist were very hard.

They certainly weren't covered in fake skin just like his shoulders. What other parts of him were 'exposed'?

Your eyes wandered to his body kneeling in front of you, his focus on you. Only you. You were the center of his attention. 'Am I getting addicted to his presence?' you asked yourself.

There was no mirror in the room and the armchair was turned towards the wall. You couldn't see behind yourself, but could feel all the movement that was happening behind you.

So many strange things have happened this day. First you planned to bite your new caregiver's hand off and now you're trying to find a way to extend your time with him.

„Flush your mouth, please." Alois requested, holding the cup filled with fresh water to your lips. „I have dental floss here too."

Caregivers hasn't flossed your teeth since they discovered you bite off fingers. You would have broken your teeth on his metal fingers. However there was no reason to hurt him. If you were allowed to, you would kiss his knuckles instead. 'Would he feel it? Would he like it perhaps?'

„May I try with you?" Confused, you tilted your head to the side. „...to floss your teeth." 'Ah right..' For a moment you thought he wanted you to kiss his knuckles. Shame.

His fingers moved naturally. Every now and then you grimaced at the grinding of your teeth with the dental floss and at the pain. „Your gums are slightly inflamed. I don't like to see that." Your eyes dropped.

„Don't worry, I don't blame you. It's not your fault." Alois let you rinse your mouth out one last time. „Despite the physical and mental pain, you behave very well. Thank you for your cooperation."

You shamelessly tried to force him to put a cherry on top of the cake. „A..are.. you- ehm. pr-oud?" He placed his palm on your head and, with the words „Yes, Y/N, I am sincerely proud of you." caressed you.

From his other pocket he took out plaster pills that were given to you when you were still tied. They had a faster effect because they didn't have to be swallowed, they dissolved on the tongue.

If the shower didn't take that long, you would have plenty of time left for conversation after brushing your teeth. On the other hand, the pills could make you so tired that you wouldn't even notice it was the next day.

„uhm.." you tried to say your last words before being knocked out. „Do you have something to tell me?" Alois made sure and politely knelt down on one knee to be at your eye level.

„I.. w-wa-nt.. to..." Your jaw started shaking, you couldn't speak well. „Shh, it is alright. I am aware that we are pressed for time." placing his human like hand on your tied one, he made you take a few deep breaths. „However you are my priority."

Tears almost started to form in your eyes from hearing him saying that you matter. For the first day in a month in this facility you weren't taken as a totally psychotic, chronically ill pacient.

It must have taken an android to remind you that you were still human. Getting yourself together, you spoke nearly fluently. „I want.. to spend m-more time wit-th.. you."

„It is wonderful to hear this from you. I'm glad I have gained your trust." He spoke in the same cheerful tone as when you called him a stag.

While he was talking, he was unbuckling your belts. „I promise to do everything in my power to help you with your problem." When he released you, he offered you his opened palm.

„And I also promise you that when you wake up in the morning, you will have me by your side again." You took his hand and swallowed the pill he gave you yourself.

„What an independent patient you are. I'll have to come up with some kind of reward." 'Oh I'd have an idea of a reward.' said your inner voice bashfully.

Alois led you into the hallway, you holding his hand. He didn't resist. Your eyelids drooped and before you knew it, you were sitting in a wheelchair watching flying eyeballs dodge to sides.

With all your strength, you tried to help Alois get you onto the bed, but he did most of the work.

You heared his voice but you didn't understand his words. Well, the important thing was that you heard him. Alois was aware that you didn't know what he's saying, but he was convinced that his voice would bring you the comfort you needed. And he was right.

After the last belt he had to immobilize you with, he gave you an injection in your thigh that you didn't even register. You looked at him through only one half-open eyelid, wanting him to be the last thing you would see that day.

By stroking your hair, Alois put you into a deep sleep. That was the first time you didn't fall asleep exhausted and surrounded by strange eyeballs and voices.

Although you were no longer mentally present, Alois sat next to your bed for a longer while, examining your sleeping figure.

He couldn't help but check your blood flow, watch your chest rise and fall, scan your brain activity. When he was satisfied, he stood up and left with one last glance in your direction.

Time to address the situation about Dr. Paul and his unacceptable behavior. Even though he's his colleague, his priority now is you.

Alois has a great sense of justice.

Alois is not letting this slide.

a/n: Don't worry, in the next episode you are going to find out what really happened to Reader and why they see what they sees. (`･ω･´)

@horrific-dust @sunndust @liv-007

[freyaphoria]

maybe you could do something like the reader thinks they successfully poisoned/hurt [any ateez member] but they’re incredibly wrong?

I love the idea, I was also inspired by something ahem manhwa ahem, can you guess what it is :3

Soup

Tw: yandere hongjoong, drugging, force feeding, food, vomiting

wc: 893

Your hands were shaking as you rummaged through the medicines in the warehouse. Since you didn't know which medicine did what, you took a few of each medicine and put them in your pocket. You were careful not to make a sound, but because of adrenaline, you dropped some boxes and cursed under your breath.

You loved Hongjoong, you really did. At the beginning of your relationship, he made you feel like you were the only person in the world. You were in this state because he wanted to be the only person in your world too.

Maybe you were crazy like him. What mentally healthy person would want to get rid of their boyfriend by poisoning him? Did you want to kill him completely or did you want to give him enough medicine to hospitalize him? You didn't know what you wanted to do to him, either option would help you escape from here.

You heard the door to Hongjoong's room open and you ran to the kitchen, threw all the medicine you collected into the soup on the stove and stirred it. You were shaking so much it was impossible for him not to notice something was going on.

Humming a song, Hongjoong walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. “It smells delicious, what are you cooking darling?” He sat at the dining table behind you and started watching you cooking. You couldn't open your mouth to answer him because you were afraid your voice would shake. "Darling, I asked you a question." His tone had changed, and when you still did not answer, he stood up from the table and walked towards you. You panicked and turned towards him. "Soup. I'm cooking soup. Your favorite." Hongjoong smiled at you when your voice shook. "Why are you so nervous? Did you do something?" If you acted well, would he still suspect you? Most likely yes. Hongjoong knew everything. He knew your thoughts and actions before you did.

"I didn't do anything." you said as you tried to breathe and calm yourself down. Hongjoong stared at you with one eyebrow raised. "Okay then." Suddenly he sat at the dining table again and continued to watch you. You could feel his eyes on the back of your head, but you couldn't turn to look at him.

Once you finished cooking the soup, you turned to Hongjoong. "Do you want to eat now or-" "We will eat together. You can set the table." He said interrupting you. You couldn't eat together. With your heart pounding, you tried to make an excuse. "I ate before you came. I'm full now. You eat, then I'll eat later." This time he wasn't smiling. He would make this facial expression when you were in trouble. "I said eat."

You poured some soup for yourself too because you didn't know what to do. You put the plate in front of him and sat at the table.

"Darling, you eat first." You weren't surprised because you knew he was going to say this. You thought about not swallowing but just holding the soup in your mouth and waiting until he drank it. Your hands were shaking so much as you dipped the spoon into the soup that you spilled some into the bowl. Hongjoong was watching you carefully.

Of course, Hongjoong wasn't stupid. You had put detergent in his food before, but Hongjoong noticed it immediately because it smelled. Your excuse was that you spilled detergent because you thought it was sauce. How cute, he thought.

You kept the soup in your mouth, trying not to swallow it. You nodded for Hongjoong to eat, but Hongjoong was still looking at you with those scary eyes. If you looked at it any longer, you were afraid to swallow the soup. "Swallow it." he ordered. When he saw that you did not swallow, he suddenly slammed his hand on the table and shouted. "I told you to swallow!" You swallowed with fear. You didn't know if it was psychological or if the medicines started working immediately, but you were feeling nauseous right now.

Hongjoong got up from the table and walked over to you, taking the soup spoon in his hand and dipping it into the bowl. "Why don't you finish them all? You worked hard to make this. Let me help you." He held your arms with one hand while forcing you to drink all the soup. "That's it, was it that hard?"

When he let go of your arms, you ran towards the bathroom as he grabbed his own bowl and poured it into the sink. You emptied the contents of your stomach and flushed the toilet. You were out of breath and trying to regain your senses when you heard a voice behind you.

"All the drugs in the warehouse were vitamin supplements. As long as you don't take 100, you won't get poisoned. Do you think I would put heavy drugs where you can reach them when you try to poison me once?" He approached you and tied your hair behind you. You thought he was going to comfort you for vomiting, but suddenly he started pulling you by your hair and dragging you to the basement. "Hongjoong! I am sorry! I wasn't thinking! Please-" "Your tactics were good, but you need to improve your acting skills."

a/n: Also thx for 200 followers! I love u all!♡♡ I'm a little sad these days, so I don't like what I write, but I hope you like it!