#Now imagine that with Neil and Nathan

[deprivedofbraincellsandsleep]

It sucks how Neil got more sympathy for being at the Nest and evermore for 2 weeks than Kevin who was there for most of his life

[allfortheslay25]

i’m reading tsc for the first time (kept putting it off 😬😅) and i just was thinking about the deal neil made with ichiro and was curious how milo would be involved or uninvolved in that deal. cause like i imagine riko and possibly kengo would just want to make life hell for the sweet baby and make perfect court #2, try to take him as their “property” too, and/or something else stupid along those lines. but i don’t think ichiro would care as much, but idk i’m curious how it goes in the miloverse

Spoilers for We’ll Both Be Fine

When Riko comes across Milo, he’s nothing but a tool to manipulate Neil. But that is until Milo makes the mistake of insulting the Raven’s play, proving his high intelligence and his knack for exy. Riko now wants Milo just as much as he wants Kevin and Neil back and he believes he’s entitled to it too.

Kengo is unaware of Milo since Riko is stingy enough to keep it to himself. He likes being the only one knowing the secret, not even Tetsuji knew until Neil left the nest after winter break.

Word only spreads around when Riko makes the mistake of pulling strings to get Nathan out of prison and making a single comment that ‘you can do anything to Nathaniel but keep the little one alive’ leading Nathan to believe Mary had a second child. Ichirou is smarter than that and pieces it all together by the time Neil makes a deal with him.

The conversation goes a lot like this;

Ichirou: Aren’t you forgetting someone?

Neil, a liar: No

Ichirou: So the boy is just free do to as he pleases?

Neil: He has nothing to do with this. I can’t make an heir for either branch so he’s nothing to you or your family.

Ichirou: You’re right🤷‍♀️ Idgaf anyway

However Ichirou won’t hesitate to mess with Milo as a reminder to Neil. He does occasionally throughout Milo’s childhood but it’s just on the edge of being not a big deal because Neil would tear down the Moriyamas if they so much as put a scratch on his son. (Ex, Ichirou once sent Milo a couple birthday gifts, one of which was an array of expensive cooking tools, a package that came with a knife set. A butcher knife set.)

You’ll actually get to see a what if situation just like that in the Collections fic once WBBF is over :)

But overall there is no deal for Milo because making a deal for Milo means he’s in it now and he’s apart of that world. Neil didn’t want him tied to anything so he pushed Ichirou as far as he could and Ichirou let him since torturing children is Riko’s thing not his.

[crabopank]

Perfect court!AU #1???

AKA power-fantasy-dark-fluff AU as I call it, aka Neil/Nathaniel and the whole foxhole cast is now part of Edgar Allan in some way. Kind of a crack taken serious ideas??? Also, possibly (I can't tell myself)  partially inspired by fics “i've been ghosting, i've been ghosting along” by fluorescencx (on Riko's part), “Company” by likearecord (on Ichirou's part) and “Not Yours To Bleed” by Coffeexandxangst (On Ichirou's descriptions of Nathan part)

The sketches I drew and still drawing are for this AU

My English vocab isn't very diverse, so I am sorry if you won't be having a very literary experience of reading, I am more of a comic artist than writer.

First, I would like to outline what this is about. 

Very Nathaniel centric, and I have mainly Riko/Neil stuff in mind, but AU could be explored with any other ship in mind, It's just a scene I imagined for things to happen. 

Overall atmosphere in the Nest is toned down and less of a sadistic dungeon, I always wanted to see a more humane version of Ravens. Less violent, but eccentric team, a shot to try and balance a public portrayal of EA Ravens with canon.

At first, I just wanted to get Andrew to perfect court with Nathaniel, but to get him to EA Aaron and Nicky should've been accepted too, and at that point I robbed foxes from 5 players already, so I felt guilty and just put all foxes in Ravens. Which is arguably worse for them, but at least they are together,  :) yay. Palmetto doesn't have an exy team anymore, thus non-relevant. 

I did not read books aside from the main trilogy and only know some details from fandom wiki. If you think there are some major details that would greatly affect AU, I would like to know about them  <3. 

Now, the fun part, Ideas (and some sketches)!!!

Wymack is a coach along with Tetsuji, for Kayleigh reasons, and Tetsuji is still the head coach. Wymack is team favorite for obvious reasons and is always trying to prevent Tetsuji from violent behaviors, tho he can't stop it from happening altogether due to yakuza stuff.  They can work together only for old times' sake, since in this AU they most likely met as a trio.

I would say he probably implemented his humanitarian habits of "second chances" there too, pitching it as a PR strategy, but I doubt he would willingly bring students into the Nest, so I'd say he just can not leave those who already got in.

Betsy is helplessly trying to convince Riko that Nathaniel's body is not a place to store his knives. It doesn't work much, and She may as well be in need of a psychiatrist herself.  Abby is still a team nurse as well.

Mary either was caught with little Nathaniel by Nathan almost immediately within a year or did not run away at all and is still present in the background, choose your fighter.

1 is Riko

2 is Kevin

3 is Jean

4 is Nathaniel*

7 is Andrew

*Riko rearranged Nathaniel's number to be 4, believing that the unlucky number suits him better. Nathaniel was kind of pissed for a second. That made Riko even more confident about the decision.

I haven't decided about whom to number for the rest of perfect court numbers. Someone from Foxes? Or are there any worthy Ravens to take numbers that are featured in later books? Renee as a #8 Goalie or Aaron as defensive dealer? I accept suggestions.

About Riko and Nathaniel

Riko Is less blatantly evil and violent, mainly just due to being more an actual character and less of a humanisation of sadism, but also because of Nathaniel’s presence. Nathaniel is just as much a menace as he is in books. Riko's possessiveness reacts to this twice as hard as to Kevin, AKA action creates reaction. Nathaniel is a challenge.

Tho Nathaniel isn't willing to take Riko's shit silently, he can not bring himself to leave either. He grew up with him and Kevin (not to mention, he wouldn't abandon Kevin and Jean anyway). Instead, Nathaniel constantly draws Riko's attention to himself, accidentally creating the only “almost equal” relationship Riko has, since Nathaniel never breaks under pressure and fights back. Nathaniel has scars from Riko, and Riko has scars from Nathaniel. 

There is no “Do X, or Person A will suffer the consequences of your actions” from Riko to Nathaniel. Riko is desperate to suppress Nathaniel through something directly involving him, he wants Nathaniel to kneel because of him and for him, not because of fear for someone else. 

Due to all of this, Jean wasn't raped at any point in the Nest. Riko is distracted too much to organize something like that, and wouldn't do it to dominate Nathaniel as well. And also I just really do not want it to happen, so no rape. Not to mention half of the Ravens are now Foxes and wouldn't cooperate anyway.

Whenever someone become Riko's aim aside Nathaniel, Nathaniel almost immediately tries to outrage Riko even more and drag attention from the poor being to himself. 

Nathaniel has a language learning, polyglot hobby, which he utilizes to piss off Riko even more effectively. 

Riko is willing to joke around and have a witty dialogue with the team, but he is short-tempered anyway. Interactions with him can be somewhat normal and do not consist solely of manipulations and assertion of dominance. 

Riko developed more patience dealing with Nathaniel for almost a decade, and he frequently dismisses some of Nathaniel's taunts as unoriginal, boring or repeating. Lucky for Riko, Nathaniel learns fast. The same thing is true for Nathaniel, dealing with Riko's attacks.

Kevin, Andrew

Kevin has a little childhood promise to Nathaniel to make him a star-exy-pro player. The only reason Nathaniel is still sticking to the name Nathaniel Wesninski is Kevin's promise to bring them on top, so Nathan will be forgotten and Nathaniel will be the one and only Wesninski people talking about. By now it's more of “This is my name and I won't let you win” type shit for Nathaniel. 

Andrew purposefully only makes any effort in training if Nathaniel asks him to. Yes, to mess with Riko's ego. The only reason Riko didn't explode at this point is because Tetsuji is satisfied with Andrew's results, and Riko at least gets to practice against the best Goalie anyway. After all, Riko, just as Kevin and Nathaniel, is exy junkie.

Andrew agreed to redraw his 7 every time it washes off instead of tattooing because of the no-touch thing. Or maybe he just says so and uses it as an excuse to avoid being branded

Platonic andreil (or just andreil if you aren't into Riko/Neil or just like andreil more)

Ichirou

Nathaniel gives away money from his future career to Moriyamas, and not in exchange, but because of this, Nathaniel is protected by Ichirou from Nathan, since Nathan is kinda hoping for an unfortunate accident to happen. Ichirou expects Nathaniel to continue serving Moriyamas after his exy career ends by taking Nathan’s place.

Therefore, Ichirou somewhat regularly visits Evermore. 

Nathaniel sometimes tries to use his “I just asked” magic skills on Riko and Ichirou in an attempt to recreate Twinyards Healing Wonder ™. Those attempts are basically fruitless, but had led to Perfect Court having occasional uncomfortable dinners with the little Lord where he and Riko ignore each other's existence and talk only through Nathaniel.  

Nathaniel frequently apologizes to the team for this thing happening, because every single one of them is having an aneurysm from dealing with both Moriyama brothers simultaneously. 

The rest of the team

Since foxes are now part of Ravens, Upperclassmen meet four of the future perfect court when the latter aren't officially in college yet.

Matt and Dan are probably especially have more soft spots for Nathaniel, knowing him for so long.

Jean & Nathaniel deep affectionate friendship dynamic is absolutely there.

I enjoyed very sweet portrayal of Seth&Neil, Aaron&Neil friendships in a few fanfics and kind of willing to implement those too.

Kevin-Andrew-Aaron-Nicky group still exists

Same for upperclassmen obviously

MEDIA

Andrew is nicknamed as the "Monster Goalie" by fans, but upperclassmen do not refer to him as Monster since there's Riko to show that Andrew is a sweet guy by comparison. 

Initially Kevin and Riko were the only two referred to as Sons of exy, but after Nathaniel debuted, and it was revealed to the public there were always three of them, Nathaniel got under that umbrella too. Not all fans agree with this, though, since he isn't actually related to exy founders in any way.

Nathaniel is nicknamed as The Butcher Junior by press and is known to constantly fuck with media, just as we like him in canon. He is loved for this very reason by fans too.

That's all I had in mind for now! See ya later

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Aaaaaa i *need* to know Fay's reaction to Neil being the butchers son 🙏🙏

In his life Aaron Fay had suffered run-ins with many a fucked up individual. He'd fought them, killed them, even worked for a few, too. It was impossible, especially in the world of organized crime, to not come face to face with terrible people. Whether he liked it or not, Fay himself was one of them. Late at night when various names and faces and last words clung to his psyche, he knew it to be true. He was a bad person, a very fucked up individual. 

But there were lines he'd never crossed.

Lines he'd never even heard of until he was told about the Butcher of Baltimore, a grisly sociopath located on the east coast with a leash in the hand of the Moriyama's lead man. Fay couldn't remember now which of his former bosses, or 'coworkers', had first mentioned Nathan Wesninski to him. But he'd heard the name numerous times in his time as a hired gun.

Never work in his territory.

He'll make an example out of you.

Steer clear of Maryland, kid. And West Virginia. And New York, while you're at it. Just because that place sucks.

Those are the types of things he heard on repeat from people older and wiser. He of course read the news now and then, but reporters weren't privy to all the murky, gruesome little details that someone else in the business would be. Over his short but illustrious career, Fay had heard stories that made goosebumps prickle his arms and turned his knees to jelly. That a person could do those things to another with a smile on his face... 

Sure, Fay had killed people. Many people. Thirty. To be exact. (He felt it important to keep track, for some long forgotten reason.) But he was an angel of death. Quick, quiet, in-and-out. A silenced bullet to the brain, or a needle in a sleeping man's arm, or a sharp knife thrust through a vicious woman's chest. These things he understood. 

Torture was something else. Something Fay just didn't have the resolve for. And he was glad of it. Hours and days spent doling out unspeakable pain to another human being, the screaming and crying and begging, the blood and viscera that would be involved... The stench of searing flesh and sickening tang of too much blood... He shuddered to imagine what went on in the Butcher's basement.

As such he made a promise to himself to never be associated with him or any of his people. And he thought he'd done a very good job of it. 

Is isn't until after the Binghampton riots, when they're missing Neil, that he finds out how wrong he was.

♡━━━━━━━━━━ ◦ ✤ ◦ ━━━━━━━━━━♡

The Foxes had finally managed their way onto the team bus, half of them battered and the other half bruised. All of them shaken to the core. They'd all been in their fair share of fights, that came with being an exy player. Especially a Fox. But the sheer volume of combatants was unlike anything Fay had ever seen. He himself had taken an elbow to the jaw and bloodied both sets of knuckles on a dozen different faces— he was sort of ambidextrous, you see, but only when he needed to beat the fuck out of somebody.

As they caught their breath they realized Neil was missing and Andrew tore out of the bus to find him. In all his desperate searching though, he could only manage to locate Neil's duffel bag. In an attempt to reign in his anger at the situation Fay also took a lap around the stadium, checking in doorways and the bushes that lined the building. But he couldn't find hide nor hair of Neil either. On his way back to the bus he had to walk past Andrew and shake his head. 

"Nothing." Fay said and Andrew was a pit of quite rage. He said nothing, just tightened his grip on Neil's phone and went to find Coach. As Fay pulled himself back up onto the bus he wracked his brain, trying to recall the last moment he saw Neil. But it was all a blur. His memory was dog shit on a good day, let alone when he was rocking a possible concussion. He trudged down the aisle and plopped into the seat beside Kevin.

That's where he'd been riding the last couple months, beside Kevin. It happened over Christmas break, really. With Andrew in Easthaven and Neil away in the Nest, Kevin needed someone to hold him up. And Fay was glad to be of service. He liked Kevin and even more, he liked the way Kevin leaned on him. He seemed to trust Fay in a way no one else did, regardless of the blood on his hands. Or perhaps because of it. Fay could never be sure which.

Some part of him thought Kevin was reassured by the fact that Fay had no problem killing for him, if it came down to it. Fay had told him so that night Andrew brought him to Columbia and tried to play bad cop, worse cop with a baggie of party drugs.

"You've actually killed people?" Kevin had whispered, doe eyed and three sheets to the wind.

"Yeah." Fay answered, trying to hide a wince. Where he used to be proud of it, he was now sickened knowing it was all he was good for. "I know all the best ways to do it, too. So I won't let anyone hurt you. Promise."

Kevin had fallen asleep just a few seconds after that, his head on Fay's shoulder. That was the precise moment Fay caught feelings for him. They never went anywhere, but he wasn't a fool. He kept them stuffed under his hat.

"No idea where he is," Fay said, just to say something. Kevin's posture was rigid and he was staring at his hand in his lap. Fay looked at it too and held in a grimace. He'd arrived far after Kevin had healed, so he'd never seen the wound fresh. He was glad of that. The jagged white scar was raised, a thick bolt of lightning across the back of his hand. Fay had the urge to take his hand, to rub the back of it with his thumb. 

He didn't.

"We'll find him, Kevin. You know Neil. He probably bolted when the fight started. Hell, I bet he's halfway back to PSU by now." Fay tried a joke, a smile. Neither landed. Kevin stared just a moment longer, then raised his head a bit.

"He's as good as dead." Kevin whispered to the space between himself and the seat in front of them. At his tone, Fay's heart thundered to a stop. Kevin continued. "He should've run. I wish he had. I told him to. Maybe he did." His voice was misty. "Maybe he'll call us when he's somewhere safe."

"Kevin," Fay said. It came out louder than he meant it. Kevin startled and turned huge eyes on him. "Hey," Fay lowered his voice and put a hand on Kevin's shoulder, careful not to let it wander any lower than that. "What are you talking about?"

Kevin shook his head violently and turned to the window, looking out to where Andrew and Wymack were having a heated discussion of what to do next. Andrew had Neil's bag slung about one shoulder, as if it were his own. And Neil's cell phone in his hand, thrusting it towards Coach's face. Fay couldn't tell what he was saying, only that Andrew was incensed. 

It was the most emotion Fay had seen on the goalie's face since he got back from Easthaven. He'd lost one of his own and now he was ready to go scorched earth. That much was clear. Andrew was a bomb about to go off, the only question in Fay's mind was about the blast radius. 

"Kevin?" Fay tried again, poking the striker's neck gently. He tried to think of how Betsy would be able to talk Kevin down— or Andrew, for that matter— but even with all Fay's logged hours with the therapist he could come up with nothing useful. There was no hot chocolate in sight and though he'd studied psychology himself, it was years ago. He'd lost it all. "Talk to me."

"I can't tell you. I won't." Kevin whispered. "He didn't want anyone to know."

"I'm not 'anyone'," Fay told him, trying his best for reassurance. But Kevin wouldn't budge. He just shook his head minutely, shoulders up around his ears now. Fay wanted nothing more than to wring the anxiety from him, but he didn't even know what they were talking about. He tried to put together context clues. Neil's ever-changing appearance and his cagey demeanor always reminded Fay of himself, when he was working. He always assumed Neil had family issues or perhaps a stalker, like Fay had Collin. Fay shuddered a bit at the thought of the other man, but didn't allow himself to get caught up in his own past. Instead he cleared his throat. "Someone was after Neil. Am I right?"

Kevin did nothing but inhale, then exhale. And blink. Fay took it as an affirmative. 

"Someone I might have heard of? Someone in my old line of work...?" Fay asked next. Kevin remained frozen for a solid thirty seconds but finally gave a jerky nod of his head. "Who?"

"His father." Kevin finally answered with a grimace. Fay was immediately confused by that. Neil's father was dead, he'd told Fay so himself. Then again, Fay often told people his own was dead— even though he was unfortunately not, according to his younger sister's Facebook account. (He checked it every now and then, not because he missed her but because he just... did.)

"Who is he, Kev?"

Kevin's voice was hoarse. "I can't, Fay. I promised him."

Without Kevin's cooperation Fay was left to wrack his own brain to try and put pieces together. As he did he started to alter his perception of Neil, changing him from a lone wolf with a troubled home life to something entirely different. The son of a gangster, hiding from said gangster... Neil's disguised looks and obsession with the news—

At once it hit Fay, like a freight train bound straight for Hell. The news. Neil's looks. 

There was one man that shared Neil's features. One in the entire world who was big enough and bad enough to warrant Kevin's fear. One who's 'good behavior' always seemed to get him out of prison early. Fay fell back against the seat in disbelief, his chest caving in. He glanced over at Kevin to find him already looking back like he was scared he said too much.

Fay swallowed thickly and lowered his voice. "The Butcher?"

"Shhh! Don't say it!" Kevin hissed out, slapping a hand over Fay's mouth. He tried not to focus on the warmth of Kevin's skin, since that was completely inappropriate, but it was there. "Never say it. Ever!"

Fay gave a weak nod of understanding and Kevin took his hand away.

"The... Him? He's Neil's...?" Fay asked. Kevin squeezed his eyes shut and nodded, looking as helpless as Fay felt. "Fuck." Fay said, then again. In a show of stupidity Fay punched the back of the seat in front of them, thankful it wasn't occupied. And Kevin jumped. Fay tried to apologize and Kevin shook his head.

"That's how I felt too. There's nothing we can do about it."

Fay hated the defeat in Kevin's voice, the grief stuck in his throat. The worst part was he was right. Even in his secret phone, Fay didn't have a single contact who could help Neil now. He checked anyway, clicking through all the big names in his list. Nothing. No one was big enough, bad enough, close enough. He didn't know a soul who could go head to head with Nathan Wesninski's crowd. He slapped the burner shut, hot tears in his eyes. "Goddamn it. Why didn't he tell us?"

Kevin blinked at him. "Would you have?"

"I did! I did tell you," Fay said back, yet again too loud. His fatal flaw. His outburst caught Andrew's attention, since he chose that precise moment to stomp up onto the bus. The blond turned a black look on Fay and Kevin shrunk into his seat, pressing himself up against the window to get away. Fay understood the notion, but didn't think he would fit in Kevin's lap.

"Told us what." Andrew demanded. Fay said nothing and the goalie took another step. "What are you talking about? It is about Neil?"

"Nothing." Kevin's attempt at deflecting was awful, but his insistent tugging at Fay's sleeve was endearing. Fay blinked at him, just now realizing the few remaining Foxes— the ones who hadn't been ushered back into the stadium to be checked over by Abby— had quietened, trying to listen in. Fay looked up at Andrew and decided to do what Neil hadn't be able to.

"Neil's father is a big time hit man for the mob. I'm talking a real 'shit your pants if you see him' sort of individual." Fay told Andrew in German, guesstimating on about half of the words. Andrew seemed to translate it just fine, but he still didn't understand.

"Neil's parents are dead."

"Not his father." Fay said, wishing it weren't so. "I saw it in the news. He just got out of prison, and it seems he may've taken custody of his son."

"WHAT?" Nicky squawked, suddenly right behind Fay's head. But Fay tunes him out to focus on Andrew. Or rather, the lit fuse shaped like a man.

"And how long have you known this?"

Fay clicked his tongue. "About three minutes."

Blond brows furrowed briefly, then Andrew figured it out. His eyes slid over to Kevin, still cowered at Fay's side, trying to become one with the bus. That's when the bomb went off. Andrew lunged for Kevin but Fay stood and made himself into a wall between them, wrestling Andrew's hands up above both their heads.

"Stop it! Stop it! It's not Kevin's fault." Fay shouted in his face as Andrew fought to free himself. He twisted this way and that, using the momentum to slam Fay into the other wall of the bus. It knocked the air out of him, but he kept his grip. There were various hands grabbing at both of them, demands to know what was going on, and a wail from someone— Nicky, Fay figured out later, when he replayed the moment in his mind.

"Listen to me, Andrew. You made Kevin a goddamn promise you wouldn't let anyone hurt him. You're counted in that, aren't you?" Fay spat out, hoping to appeal to his sense of honor. That's when Andrew proved he had none by kicking Fay's bad knee out from under him. Fay yelped when heat lanced up his leg and he couldn't help but crumble, but his hands were locked around Andrew's so he brought the goalie to the ground with him. He wound up on his back with Andrew sprawled over him. In one breath Fay had lost the upper hand. Both of them really, since Andrew had them pinned over his head.

"Kevin made Neil a promise, too." Fay said while Andrew looked down at him with unbridled fury. "I guess his are worth more than yours. Yeah, Neil's lucky he broke your deal before you could fuck him over."

With that, Andrew's expression changed to something else entirely. Something blank and full of nothing. Fay thought he'd won. But as soon as gave up his hold on Andrew, Andrew was grabbing him by the neck to crush the air out of his lungs. Panicking, Fay scrabbled at Andrew's hands but it was no use, they were unyielding. And angry.

There was shouting and shuffling around them but Fay couldn't make any sense of it. His vision swam in a murky pond and his chest felt hollow. Just when he thought he'd pass out, Andrew finally let go but not before banging Fay's head against the ground so hard it bounced. Oxygen flooded back into him and Fay choked on it as someone tried to help him sit up. He got his vision back in time to see Andrew exit the bus yet again.

"Holy shit. Are you alright?" Nicky asked as he slid onto the floor. He was on his knees, his chest to Fay's back as he helped him sit up. Fay couldn't quite make words yet, so he tried for a thumbs up. His fist wouldn't close all the way but Nicky got the point. "Jesus. Why would you say that when he was already on top of you?"

"Because he's fucking stupid." Aaron said helpfully. Fay almost gagged on a laugh. He said it to keep Andrew's ire on himself. And it worked. Kevin seemed to almost understand that, he was on the edge of their shared seat looking down at Fay with a furrowed brow and shimmering eyes. Fay looked away from him.

When he was sure he could make it, he accepted Nicky's help to stand up. His left leg was all but useless, thanks to Andrew's dirty little trick. Luckily Fay didn't have to go far. Once Nicky had him on his feet, he only had to hop once to fall into the seat behind Kevin's.

"I'm okay, Nicky. Really. I just need to make a call. Do you mind?" Fay's voice was scratchy as he held up his secret phone. Since Nicky was in the know, his dark eyes went wide and he nodded before disappearing back to his own seat with his non-enraged cousin.

Fay took a breath and rubbed the back of his head gingerly. He was going to need ice, he thought. But he'd deal with it later. For now, he dialed a number and waited. Some part of him wondered if he would answer at all. Marcus Butler Sr., known to most as Big Marcus, was a pillar in Fay's old life. A man who'd helped him up again and again no questions asked. But he was also a barb in Fay's side, a reminder of another time entirely. Similarly, he knew his presence had the same effect on Marcus' family.

It turned out Fay had nothing to worry about. The phone rung twice before a voice piped up on the other end, deep and low and full of comfort. "Aaron?" He said, almost confused. "Boy, is that you? You haven't—"

"Hey, pop. Yeah. I know I haven't called in a while. Listen... If you've got anybody on your payroll at the Bureau... I need them to hit Nathan Wesninski hard. Right fuckin' now."

Big Marcus' silence was an eerie thing. Luckily it never lasted long. "Wesninski? Jesus Christ, kid. What'd you do? I thought you were out of the game and—"

"Not me. A friend." Fay interrupted, debating whether he could actually call Neil such a thing. He wasn't sure, but it didn't matter. What mattered was that he might be able to help save his life. "Listen. I know. I'll owe you a favor. Big one. Just get them there. Now. Please. It's life or death."

"With the Butcher, it always is."

"He's a kid, pop. Even younger than me. And he didn't do nothing but be born to the wrong person." Fay said then, wincing as he did. He didn't mean to manipulate the older man. He simply recalled too late those words had already been spoken, almost seven years ago. After Marcus Jr. was killed. Fay blocked out those painful memories, unwilling to let them slip under the door. Big Marcus, the only Marcus Butler left, sighed wearily. Fay could imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I'll see what I can do. I can't make no promises."

"That's good enough. I owe you one."

"You gonna owe me three."

"Three then." Fay agreed. Big Marcus hung up and Fay flipped the phone shut. When he looked up, he saw Kevin peering over the back of the seat at him.

"Who was that?"

"Can't tell you. Plausible deniability, or whatever." Fay said, trying for a joke. Kevin didn't think it was funny. He just chewed his lip for a moment then gestured with his hand.

"Come sit up here again." Kevin told him and Fay was quick to obey. He moved onto his decent leg— because neither of them were good— and did a couple hops in the aisle before dropping next to Kevin. He must've been afraid Andrew would come back angrier. 

Fay wasn't sure it was possible.

"Who did you call?"

"Ghostbusters." This pathetic joke received only a scowl from Kevin, so Fay shrugged.

"You said the FBI." Kevin said with certainty.

"Didn't know you were such an eavesdropper."

"Yes you did." Kevin said, making Fay laugh despite it all. 

"It was... A friend who might have the FBI on his side. He said he would try to talk them into helping Neil out."

Kevin absorbed that and nodded to himself, expression a bit less than dismal. "Do you think they can?"

Fay thought of Neil's fighting spirit and his ever-growing skill and his love of the game. Something twinged in his chest and he wasn't sure if it was a result of the riot or Andrew or his teammate's semi-impending doom. He sighed a long, painful exhale. 

"I hope so."

So yeah! Fay doesn't find out until the Foxes do, via Kevin after the riot. They of course get Neil back the next morning. In the meantime, Fay received a call back from Marcus telling him he heard there was some sort of raid in Baltimore. That a boy was removed from the house, alive. Then the Foxes learn of both Fay's and Neil's mob connections and the general consensus is 'three mafia kids?! what the fuck?'.

fay’s friends: @themundanemudperson @tessasilverswan @ordei

if you wanna be tagged in future fay posts, lemme know okay <3

[dykekarkat]

HTTYD AU?!?!?! pls tell me more.........

YIPPEE ^-^ A CHANCE TO TALK ABOUT MY MOST BELOVED AU

i watched httyd 1 recently (one of my favorite movies of all time) and as i was sitting there i went "wow...wouldn't it be cool if this was all for the game" bcus i have terminal aftg disease.

basically in this au neil is hiccup, andrew is astrid, and kevin is toothless. originally, i thought about doing a simple 'neil on the run but this time dragons exist and the foxes run berk blah blah' but then i got the idea to put nathan as stoic which...oh it's so fun. so now you have a neil who's been with his father his whole life, the foxes who live in nathan's village, and the New Kids nicky, aaron, and andrew minyard.

nathan manipulating the situation on berk to make everyone hate dragons (neil character trait moment) and go to war against them with fervor while neil refuses to fight them (bcus men have always been the monsters in his life). all of the foxes would be the equivalent of hiccup's dragon riders so they're being trained to kill dragons, with dan being the best (and andrew would b the best if he gave a shit. which he doesn't). wymack is gobber bcus i am imagining a really elaborate hate filled slightly homoerotic dynamic between him and nathan (there's backstory here but basically nathan mutinied the village and stole the chief position from wymack), and also because having him as the one training the kids (more similar to self defense than anything) and the one running the forge with neil (ostracized similar to hiccup) is just right to me.

THE FUN STUFF is getting to introduce kevin as toothless ^-^ i'm stealing the concept of dragons being able to communicate with humans from the httyd book series, idk if i want to go the dragonese route (language in the book) or a telepathy route so tbd. neil is the one to injure kevin's tail, except this time it was purely on accident. his decision to create a way for kevin to still fly is basically him wanting to take responsibility, and because kevin is really adamant about getting back to a nest for some reason....kevin is still his haughty asshole self but now he's a dragon, and in the beginning neil and him spend a lot of time circling each other before kevin will accept his help.

IN THE BACKGROUND or well not really in the background because this will probably become a switch pov story, andrew is watching everything happening with slight curiousity. i'm not changing his canon backstory much, but know at this point drake and tilda are both dead, also no drugs bcus i dont want to <3. aaron and him are still not close / fighting, but they aren't in forced proximity at the same level bcus aaron is apprenticing under abby NOT training to kill dragons like andrew. in httyd astrid starts paying attention to hiccup out of jealousy / curiosity, but here it's more like andrew does not trust neil and he Especially doesn't trust their chief nathan so he's going to get to the bottom of it (also he's crushing not that he'd admit it). now just imagine kevin and andrew meeting for the first time similar to toothless and astrid, okay you've got that in your head right? now imagine andrew being the one forced to fly very high up on a dragon as neil pleads his case about not killing his only friend (the dragon).

anyway this got long and idk if any of this makes sense and maybe no one else cares but andreil with their dragon bestie kevin...it's everything to me...

[so-much-history-in-these-streets]

AFTG PLAYLIST - NORA'S PICKS

(If Nora blogged it or tagged it, it's here - I hope I got them all, feel free to add if I didn't!)

The Foxhole Court Lean On - Major Lazer & DJ Snake I'm Not A Saint - Billy Raffoul State of My Head - Shinedown

The Sunshine Court Breathe - Lo Spirit

Seth Gordon Hey, What's Up - Munn Someone, Please Come Help - Munn

Neil Josten Scars - Boy Epic

Andrew Minyard Numb Little Bug - Em Beihold

Kevin Day I'm So Sorry - Nico Collins Burning Castles - Nathan Wagner

Perfect Machine - Starset

Jean Moreau Bird Set Free - Sia Movements - Daylily

vivre ou survivre - Daniel Balavoine

Jean & Neil Used to the Darkness - Des Rocs

Nicky Hemmick Saints - Echos Cat & Jean My Same - Adele Jeremy & Laila Count On Me - Bruno Mars

Jean/Renee Walk Thru Fire - ViceTone She Is The Sunlight - Trading Yesterday

Minyard Confetti - Charlotte Cardin

Neil/Andrew Perfectly Broken - Banners

Jeremy Knox I Am - Tom Walker Best Day Of My life - American Authors

Jean/Jeremy The Other Side - The Greatest Showman Stargazing - Myles Smith

Carry You Home - Alex Warren

Kevin & Jean

Shinedown - Through The Ghost Xavier & Min A Boy Named Pluto - Hailey Knox Jean & Elodie (I’m Guessing, tagged: J&E) All of the Stars - Ed Sheeran Cody Winter Not Like I’m In Love With You - LEW

Pre AFTG

Tyler Brayden - Devil You Know (Renee)

Nessa Barrett - dying on the inside (Allison)

"To be tagged later" A Friend Like You - Andy Grammer

(tagged as 'not technically a TSC song' or as 'writing' in 2023) You're Not Alone - Saosin Hear Me Now - Framing Hanley Darkest Hour - Astrid S Might Love Myself - Baretooth My Brother - MisterWives Wings - Birdy Depression - Nathan Wagner Love Me Now, Or Lose Me Later - Kygo, Matt Hansen

Dark Things - Starset Untagged - (maybe just music she likes) Shots - Imagine Dragon Let's Hurt Tonight - One Republic La Di Die - Nessa Barrett I'm Doing Fine - Mike Waters Who Are You - SVRCINA Stole the Show - Kygo ft Parson James Sound of Surviving - Nichole Nordeman Pieces - Daughtry

[xhoneyghost]

aftg au where Neil's mom is alive and against her better judgment, mary ends up very fond of andrew

her marriage with nathan was an arrangement for their families, nathaniel was a promise and a careful plan. mary didn't expect to get attached to her son, she was supposed to run away by herself but in the end she didn't have in her heart to leave abram behind

you see, if she had a choice she wouldn't marry Nathan, she wouldn't marry any man. she's a lesbian. so you can imagine that years later, when neil found a boyfriend - mary was ready to tear them apart, to warn him all about the dangers of love, of queer love, all the weakness that falling for someone exposed them to

but. as a lesbian, she couldn't save herself from the lesbian's curse: liking andrew minyard too much to be healthy. god dammit! she can't kill him now, she cant drive him away from neil. she will just teach him how to use a gun and call it a day

[mordax101]

I have a guilty confession. I mentally increase the height of AFTG short characters. The Minyard twins are canonically 5'0? Nope, they're 5'3 in my brain. Neil's 5'3? Too bad, he's now 5'5. I just cannot for the life of me imagine Andrew only coming up to Jean's nipple or whatever crazy height difference they have. The lack of short jokes in AFTG only serves to fortify my delusion.

(Although, Nora really said all the hardcore, dangerous characters are gonna be well below the standard height: Andrew, Neil, Riko, Mary Hatford, etc)(I'd include Nathan Wesninski, but I have no idea how tall that man was, only that he was taller than Neil)

[emry-stars-art]

Dare I ask why Abram doesn’t like being called pretty??

I don’t know anon, do you dare?? 👀 jk here we go

I’ll preface with: this isn’t going to be as bad as the canon Nest, nor as bad as canon Andrew’s childhood but there’s a tw for assault/coercion

So like. Neil is just a good looking guy, right. We all know this, it’s canon, we love it for him (and Andrew).

I’m imagining in this au some of the major points of his upbringing are (obviously) not having his mother’s protection - at least not as much if any at all idk - and being a lower station than like half the people he’s around regularly. I think we figured Nathan is some noble that has his own land and place of operations, but I think it’s more a title the eldest Wesninskis have historically earned once they’ve proven themselves worthy and loyal. So yes Nathaniel is the son of a noble and expected to take his place as such but he’s not going to get there anytime soon until he grows strong/smart enough to take the title from Nathan. Which, clearly, he doesn’t stick around long enough to get to.

An introduction as a bit from this scene (which is part of the writing masterpost of this au that you can find here!)

So the Moriyamas still have a considerable leash on him. Acting against or refusing anyone higher in station is very much a punishable offense, and honestly? Nothing the various nobles, etc do is worth getting punished in Nathaniel’s mind.

From the time he’s like seven? Eight? Some of the court ladies likely start commenting on his appearance (because this is the Nest equivalent and because they’re above reproach and the Moriyamas definitely don’t care enough to stop it. Doubtful Nathaniel is the only one this happens to). Bit by bit they get more and more comfortable, usually the ladies, sometimes a man or two, and eventually it’s touching, holding, ‘asking’ for kisses, threatening him as a joke they put on for each other. And Nathaniel, of course, can’t even say anything without earning harm. He’s dealt with lots of unwanted touching, he’s used to having blades pointed at him or against his skin, and at least with the nobles it’s never more than a nick or scratch. They just like scaring him. They never undress him or even try more than to get under a sleeve, but still all roaming is fair game to them over the clothes. And the most common (though not only) comment from any of them is telling him how pretty he is. How lucky he is to have his father’s looks, and how could they possibly let that go to waste? (This is the main reason Abram still thinks he’s a carbon copy of Nathan, though he’s not - he leans more toward his mother’s features, and only his father’s hair, eye color, posture, etc)

As he gets older and grows more dangerous, this starts to slow down. Partly because then he’s a lot better about staying out of sight, he’s gotten used to getting himself out of those situations earlier. Not to say it never happens. Just a ‘his reputation precedes him’ - the smarter ones know that if they go too far, if Nathaniel decides he’s had enough, he could kill them as easily as he could anyone else, and most of them know he isn’t as well trained as the Moriyamas would have liked. He’s more of a risk now and there’s others they can subject to their whims instead.

I don’t think Abram would ever get used to being called pretty, even by Andrew. It’s not a full on trigger like some other things, it just makes him severely uncomfortable and maybe even a little scared. Like a kid again. Clueless and helpless. A jolt through his body when he hears it.

There’s plenty of other things Andrew can and does call him instead, anyway.

[kiwiaok]

an aftg musical would genuinely be so unserious like imagine baltimore being condensed into a song 😭😭 id still watch it tho

I’m giggling every time I think about it but you bet I’d watch it. and learn every song too

genuinely no clue how we could accurately portray baltimore in a song but I think the countdown to it could be really cool, with music that builds up the suspense and numbers gradually going down. actually now that I’m thinking about it, the countdown could be really cool during the baltimore scene too. like the reprise of the previous song and it would be counting down to what the audience would think is neil’s death but actually it’s nathan’s death

also snickering while thinking about ravens bc their theme would be so overdramatic. first there would be ravens cawing as harbinger, then there would be some marching band or shit

and just thinking about blank-faced andrew singing his heart out is so funny too bc I just know he’d have a few solo songs. maybe some “lord show me how to say no to this” kinda song and it’s andrew gazing into neil’s very blue eyes at eden’s ahahahha

and I bet the thanksgiving song would give me chills

[bumblebee-be]

Dead Eyes

Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard | 2.8k | Teen and Up Audiences | Hurt/Comfort: Nightmare Edition

Neil has a nightmare and, despite his best efforts to handle it on his own, Andrew is there.

read on ao3

Neil didn’t expect the nightmares to stop. He never allowed himself the delusion of thinking that with his father gone and his mind and body both working through the achingly slow process of healing - one he isn’t sure will ever end - to imagine that the ghosts of his past life and the memories woven into their faces would ever stop tormenting him, especially in his sleep. 

But. Still.

There’s a part of him now, as he clutches the edges of the sink with a white knuckled grip and grinds his teeth together so hard he things he may break them, that desperately wishes he could seal his demons in a box, throw it into the deepest recess of his mind, and have a little time before they clawed their way back out. 

It doesn’t work like that, and Neil knows it, but he’d like to be able to open his eyes. 

He has them clenched tightly shut, his entire face screwed up, every muscle in his body tense and taught with a herculean effort to stop shaking. He was shaking when he woke up, he was shaking when he stumbled his way out of bed into the bathroom, but he swears he almost shook all the way apart when he caught his own reflection in the mirror. 

Dead eyes stared back at him. 

He tried wearing contacts again - briefly, last summer after everything with Ichirou was settled - but it didn’t take. When he’d walked out of the bathroom, Andrew had taken one look at him and caught his chin in an unforgiving grip when Neil tried to sidestep him. 

“No,” Andrew had said simply, but the look in his eyes was fierce and the clench of his jaw was tight. 

“I’m sick of seeing him,” Neil countered. Andrew hadn’t budged. 

“Then don’t see him,” he said after a beat. As if it were that easy. “See you.”

“I can’t-”

“He doesn’t get to take anything anymore.”

Neil’s response died in his throat as he tried to process that. 

Andrew released him with a shove back towards the bathroom. “Take them out.”

Neil knew he didn’t have to, that Andrew would give in if Neil pushed back, but Neil just swallowed his argument and took the contacts out. 

Now, with his eyes squeezed shut so hard it’s already giving him a headache, Neil wishes he hadn’t let Andrew throw them all out. He’d almost tried to save a pair, but one look from Andrew said all it needed to convince him not to. The contacts were a way to hide. Neil wasn’t doing that anymore. He had no one to hide from.  No one but myself, he thinks bitterly now. A tremor travels down his spine, sending gooseflesh across his skin. His chest feels tight and his breath shudders as he tries to inhale deeply through his nose and slowly through his mouth.

Having his eyes closed isn’t great either. All it does is allow the remnants of his nightmare to flash unbidden behind his eyelids, for the ghosts that cling to his very soul to torment him further. 

 You could just not look at the mirror, a voice in his head reminds him. But, no. No, he can’t. If he opens his eyes, they’ll find his own reflection again.

Neil spent a lot of time avoiding mirrors directly following his stint with Lola and Nathan, but eventually he got comfortable enough with his own reflection so it wasn’t really a problem. But when he’s like this, it’s like there are invisible fingers guiding his face towards the mirror, urging him to look, not allowing him to wrench his gaze away from his own eyes. 

He’s working on it. Well, he’s trying to. But it’s a hard thing to work on when failure means spiraling so deeply into his own demons that he’s made himself sick before. 

No, the dark of his own mind is better. Even if it is plagued by dead parents and sadistic smiles, knives and fire. 

Neil clenches his fingers a little tighter around the cold porcelain. Dimly, he worries he might break it. But he’s far too concerned now with finding some semblance of solidity, and the bite of the ceramic into his flesh - too dull to break his skin, but hard enough to bruise - offers him that. Offers him a small reminder that he’s real, and he’s here, and he’s not breaking apart into a million pieces despite what it may feel like. His stomach may churn and his throat may feel like it’s collapsing in on itself, and he may not be able to stop fucking shaking, but he’s here. 

He strains his ears, listening for any sounds from the other room. But there’s two doors between him and Andrew, and even then Andrew barely makes a sound in his sleep. Neil’s just grateful he manages to slip out of bed without stirring the other man. 

A part of Neil knows it’s stupid, that Andrew will probably be pissed in the morning if he somehow pieces together that Neil didn’t wake him, but Neil knows there’s been plenty of times Andrew hasn’t woken him. 

Another part of him, a part of him that he is trying valiantly to smother right now, desperately wishes he had woken Andrew, that Andrew was a solid line behind him for Neil to lean into and a secure pair of arms to hold him together so Neil didn’t have to do it himself. 

Neil blames that small, weak part of himself for what happens next. 

A thin, reedy sound falls from his lips and he struggles through another breath, his head dropping down between his shoulders as he twists his fingers in a desperate attempt to feel the porcelain bite into his skin. 

Fire. He’s on fire. 

There’s flames licking at his cheekbones, burning down his throat, skating across his skin. He’s burning from the inside out and he has no way to put it out. He can only twist his grip on the sink tighter and tighter as waves of flames travel down his body, rocking him harshly as his muscles tremble. He’s panting now, harsh breaths puffing through his clenched teeth as he screws up his face, his eyes staying shut as sparks dance behind his eyelids. 

It’s an eternity before the flames release him, leaving him sagging against the sink, not letting up his death grip for even a moment as he tries to catch his breath. Absently, he notes a tear working its way down his cheek. There’s a dull throbbing in his fingers from how hard he’s clenching the ceramic. His head is pounding now, in time with his racing pulse. 

The scars he carries feel ripped open, and it takes all his willpower to convince himself that’s not possible and he’s not bleeding out onto the floor. Still, the tremors become harder as phantom blood tracks down his skin. 

His breaths are coming fast despite his best efforts to calm himself, and he can feel frustrated tears burn behind his eyes. It feels as though the demons in his mind are stabbing hot knives at every vulnerable spot they can find, slicing his mental defenses to little ribbons with glee. 

Nathan’s cold smile flashes behind his eyelids and he can feel his own lips curving into a cruel mockery of it. The insane urge to laugh bubbles up in his chest, but he stamps it back down. He doesn’t need Andrew walking in on him laughing maniacally as he attempts to crush their sink to dust beneath his fingers. 

He swallows his laughter and tries to count to ten and then back to zero in as many languages as he can. It works well enough for the laugh to shrivel and die in the hollow cavity of his chest, but soon enough the numbers - he got as far as Russian - get lost in the static fuzz of his panicked mind. Every part of him wants to run right now. 

Neil knows he could just go for a run of Perimeter Road, but he’s not sure he trusts himself enough in this state to not just keep running. It’s his first instinct, a feeling so familiar it may as well be carved into his bones, woven through the strands of his DNA. He’s not sure if he’s gripping the sink so hard to keep himself from flying apart or to keep himself from bolting. Either way, he grips it like his very life depends on it, and he grinds his teeth, and he tries to continue his Russian counting. 

In the state he’s in, his mind a haze of panic and every nerve ending set on fire with adrenaline, Neil is hyper aware of his surroundings. He feels the brush of the very air against the skin of his arms, feels the sweat beading on his brow, feels the press of his cotton T-shirt resting against his chest. 

He hears when one of the floor boards in the bedroom creaks. 

Neil strains his ears, his breath catching in his throat. 

He hears the first door open. 

Run.

He hears another step land on the floor. 

Run!

He hears the bathroom door open. 

RUN!

He forces himself to still, the trembling beneath his skin fighting against every ounce of willpower he’s using to quell it. He can’t feel Andrew, but he knows he’s there, just a mere two feet away. 

He holds his breath still, waiting through the agonizingly long moments before-

“Yes or no?” 

Andrew’s voice is rough with sleep, thick with something Neil can’t piece together right now, and unwaveringly firm. 

“Yes,” Neil chokes out on his second attempt to answer, barely anything more than a ragged gasp tearing itself from his throat, clawing its way out whether Neil wants it to or not. 

In an instant, Andrew’s there, a solid line of heat at his back. A heavy palm lands on the back of his neck, hot fingers squeezing the sides of his throat in a silent command. Neil jerks his head in a harsh no. He can’t. He can’t move, he can’t do what Andrew wants, he can’t think, he can’t-

“Neil.” Andrew’s voice is a low rumble, softening the turmoil inside of Neil, flowing over him like golden honey. But his shoulders instinctively hunch higher, the lines of tension in his body blocking out Andrew despite Neil’s desperation to give in to him. 

“Neil.”

Neil lets out a thin sound through clenched teeth, straining to get the words out, to explain to Andrew that he can’t move or he won’t stop moving until he’s running. That the only reason he’s still here is because he won’t let himself move. 

But he doesn’t have to say a word. He never really does when it comes to Andrew, never has. Andrew just… knows. 

The grip on the back of his neck tightens and Andrew tugs Neil roughly, but so painfully gently all at the same time, towards him. Neil’s hands refuse to listen, gripping the sink. 

“Let go.” 

As if it were that easy. 

“Let. Go.” A warning growl tinges Andrew’s words and he pulls Neil at the same time, and Neil loses his grip on the ceramic edges with a harsh gasp. Before he can fall or shatter or dissipate into nothing, though, he’s yanked into Andrew’s solid chest, the hand on the back of Neil’s neck squeezing fiercely, the other coming up to grip his shoulder. 

Neil’s hands, desperate for something to cling to, find purchase in Neil’s own shirt, a fist digging into his stomach, and in Andrew’s, clutching the fabric of his shirt just the the side of where Neil’s forehead is pressed into Andrew’s chest, held there by Andrew’s own hand. 

It isn’t until Neil starts to feel the steady thump of Andrew’s pulse beneath his knuckles that Neil is able to suck in a full, ragged gasp of air instead of the short bursts he’d been gasping since Andrew touched him. Andrew doesn’t move, Neil can barely even feel the rise and fall of his breaths. The only sign he has that Andrew is alive and real and there is the pounding of his heart beneath Neil’s own touch.

“Breathe,” Andrew instructs, like it’s just that simple. 

But Neil gave himself over to Andrew the moment he released the sink. And Andrew says to breathe. 

Neil takes a slow breath, the cool air soothing his burning lungs and raw throat. He sucks in deep breath after deep breath through clenched teeth, guided by the stroke of Andrew’s fingers on the back of Neil’s neck, grounded by the press of Andrew’s chin into the crown of Neil’s head. He thinks he hears Andrew murmur Good into his hair, but he has no way of knowing if he actually did. 

After several minutes of neither of them moving, Andrew pulls back slightly. Neil tries to move with him, a small, broken sound falling from his lips. The hand that isn’t on Neil’s neck moves to grip his chin, forcing Neil to stop and face Andrew. 

“Look at me,” Andrew says.

Neil’s voice trembles and cracks, “I can’t.”

“Neil.” Neil just gives an aborted shake of his head, stopped by Andrew’s grip on his chin. “Abram.” Neil sucks in a sharp breath. “Look at me.” 

Neil opens his eyes. 

Hazel eyes, fiery and fierce with an emotion Neil’s spent brain doesn’t have the dedication to find a name for right now, stare back at him. Andrew’s jaw is tense, concern written in the tight corners of his mouth and slight crease of his brow. 

His eyes - Neil’s always loved Andrew’s eyes, even before he realized he loved them - search Neil’s own. The tight panic in Neil’s chest begins to unravel further under Andrew’s steady gaze. He releases his death grip on Andrew’s shirt, pressing a flat palm to his chest instead, feeling the thump of his heart once more. His other fist stays pressed into his own stomach, clenching his shirt tightly. 

But his breaths come easier now, and the fog of panic is beginning to lift. His jaw aches as he lets some of the tension release. 

“Who was it?” Andrew asks after a long beat of silence. 

Neil instantly stiffens again, his breath stopping in his throat and threatening to choke him. 

Andrew squeezes the back of his neck again, fiercely. Neil refocuses on Andrew’s eyes, resisting the replay of his nightmare that’s starting in his own mind. 

Andrew doesn’t ask again, just stares Neil down and grips the back of his neck so tight it's just this side of painful. 

It takes Neil a few tries to get the names out. “Nicky. Nicky and Dan.”

The only sign that he actually said it aloud is a tightening of the muscles around Andrew’s mouth and a nearly imperceptible nod. His death grip on Neil’s neck relaxes, his fingers petting through the fine hair at the base of his skull and down the overheated skin of his neck. 

Neil’s breathing has gotten close to normal, the adrenaline starting to wear off now that instead of falling endlessly, he has Andrew to crash into. Andrew to catch him and hold him together. 

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Andrew asks after several more infinite moments, his gaze never wavering from Neil’s.

Neil can’t stop the full-body flinch at the question. Andrew doesn’t say a word, and Neil doesn’t have to either. Andrew just nods, his fingers still stroking the skin of Neil’s neck. He doesn’t let go of Neil’s chin either, keeping his gaze trained into Neil’s eyes as though he can read his very soul through them. 

“How can you stand them?” Neil blurts it out before he can think better of it. He opens his mouth to explain, but then closes it. He doesn’t have to. 

Andrew’s quiet for a moment. He shifts his hold on Neil’s jaw, pressing three fingers under his chin to tilt his face up more, brushing his thumb across Neil’s bottom lip impossibly softly. He studies Neil’s eyes carefully, thoughtfully, and then shrugs one shoulder. 

“They’ve never been anything other than you for me.” He tilts his head slightly, as if considering. “One of the first real parts of you that I got.”

The unexpected answer steals Neil’s breath again, though this time not from panic. Andrew doesn’t look into his eyes and see the eyes of a killer, of someone heartless and cruel and demanding. Andrew doesn’t see dead eyes.

“Yes or no?” Neil whispers breathlessly. 

Andrew’s lips twitch ever so slightly and he lifts his chin. “Yes.” 

Neil crushes his mouth to Andrew’s, the kiss tinged with desperation and fading panic, but also - hope. Hope that one day, Neil can look into his own eyes and see what Andrew does. Hope that his eyes aren’t really dead, because he sure as hell isn’t. 

[stabbyfoxandrew]

snippet of arsonist neil please?

WIP Wednesday (5/8) | Arsonist Neil / Firefighter Andrew AU (Part 169)(nice)

Neil laughs again, perhaps a bit hysterically. Because, looking back on it, that situation was sort of funny. He remembers waking up to the door banging against the wall, he and his mother jumping out of bed to find a huge man— one of his father’s goons— standing over them. He’d made a threat that Neil can’t recall now, then flashed a gun.

There was a struggle, because he and Mary— Micah and Lisa at the time— would never go down without a fight. And then suddenly the balcony door was open, Neil remembers being the one to unlock it. And, with a shove, the man was gone. A scream later and he was dead on the ground eight floors below.

Micah’d had a panic attack then. One that lasted about five seconds, because his mother slapped it out of him and demanded him to gather his things. They weren’t safe there, they had to move. So they did. His cheek stings as if it happened just now, not fifteen years ago, and his hand rises to rub it away.

When Andrew admitted to killing his mother earlier, Neil had gone cold all over. He couldn’t imagine… Yes, sometimes Mary was cruel. Sometimes she yelled and sometimes she hit him, but he could never have hurt her back. She was his mom. 

She was all he had.

The fact that Andrew had freed himself and his brother from a life filled with similar abuse with one movement. One jerk of his arm… Neil wishes his own father could’ve been killed so easily. But he supposes Stuart only had to move one finger, just one, to fire the bullet that sent Nathan Wesninski to hell.

With his hand still cradling his cheek, Neil’s gaze slides over to his mother and his chest hurts. He wishes he had another photo of her, a better one. One from when he was younger. If only someone at his little league games had thought to take a photo of her genuine smile. If only Neil had had better aim back in Seattle. If only he’d realized sooner and gotten her to a hospital…

Maybe he could’ve taken one himself.

[dykekarkat]

omgomgomg, your miiiind.

okay, renee as lady ebisu is an amazing choice; her trying to save people at all cost, regardless of the consequences because they're her responsibility?? chef's kiss. ruthless renee vs overprotective andrew might actually kill me.

blind boar god really is a hard cast, because wymack would be a great choice (going from peaceful to deranged because of the pain and suffering and curse, and andrew desperately trying to fix it??? hello???), but also it would be interesting to have him as Stuart for Neil to want to save another deranged boar when the first one is basically actively killing him rn (do you see my vision?? the narrative parallels are right there!).

aaron being a wolf and andrew a human, but both being "twins" because they're the same age and were bonded close to, but their differing appearances make a rift between them, because they're not "the same", bringing tension, but still not enough to break them apart, because they would die for each other???

if you got anything on your mind about this au, do spill, i will eat it all up, no hesitation.

i'm emotional :') (i might not have watched princess mononoke in over a decade, but this is, like, core memory that is part of the foundation of my existence. i could scream about this for hours)

i pulled out my laptop to answer this ask bcus GODDDD I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT LADY EBISU AND RENEE. in general not nearly enough is done with renee's past, mostly because neil spends most of the series not liking her / feeling uncomfortable around her. and also bcus it IS in the past, but lady ebisu is my favorite human character in princess mononoke (again. yakul number 1) and i think she really deserves to be spotlighted and RENEE CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

like lady ebisu is kind and she is magnetic and people are extremely loyal to her and she is ALSO ruthless ambitious and violent. making pre canon renee have all of these traits to show how she can grow into her kindness but also just how incredibly nuanced the major themes of princess mononoke are in general with environmentalism and industrialization like agh. also san and lady ebisu being two sides of the same coin....andrew renee parallelisms win again...plus this means i can make neil and renee lowkey friends or like at least hammer in that Respect between them since the reason neil dislikes her in canon is due to the mask she wears NOT her ruthlessness violence (imo.)

the blind boar cast is really killing me bcus i DOOOO think the only male adult character that andrew would be willing to try and save like that is wymack, and even that is a stretch (considering the zombie apocalypse conversation). so i think i will be going the stuart hatford route because 1 - fits with my boars as crime syndicates thing going on 2 - i probably just won't have andrew make a crazy effort to save him bcus unlike san, andrew would be very susceptible to becoming a demon / monster due to his own control + anger issues. 3 - i also think i might do some backstory fuckery with neil ? like mary trying to escape from the moriyamas rather than nathan (since nathan is a boar god) and one of the boar gods like gives neil a blessing or something idk again. workshopping. but i do want mary neil to still have a runaway thing while also having neil be Destined like ashitaka (neil being given a boar blessing as a child leading to his like anger issues but also his will and determination to then being cursed by a boar to die. you get me. the circular aspect of his life).

twinyards make me emotional in this...we know san was thrown at moro as a sacrifice so that the other humans can escape...okay so now imagine this is like young andrew with the spears and he's thrown away by cass bcus despite everything he has never been her real child like drake...okay great now imagine puppy aaron having also been thrown away by his mother (i've decided moro/bee just like adopted him and nicky. do NOT ask me if that makes sense it probably doesnt but i dont care. its about the parallels.) and so bee sees aaron in andrew and they're the same and they get to play and grow up together but they will never be truly connected because andrew can't escape the fact he's a human....also the andrew human vs monster of it all. so good so delectable i have got to open that google doc.

[cuntydracula]

i seriously need an aftg x criminal minds crossover. like. desperately. IMAGINE the bau team working on nathan wesninskis case and then finding out his presumed dead kid is alive (barely)!? Penelope finding out what neil went through and being absolutely devastated. and impressed by the many identities he’s had and how they never got caught by cops and shit. and and and them taking him (and andrew duh) in for questioning and them just being absolutely silent. all of them trying sooo many ways to crack them both open for answers. neil mouthing off as usual and the bau team being frustrated and in awe at the redheads balls of steel. just ugh everytime i watch cm now i just think how they’d work with neil its so fun to imagine

[radiokathryn-if]

I'm imagining an indifferent MC saying in a montone, bored voice "And now we have our one and only- Nathaniel."

Starts calling him other names that just begin with N. Like Noah or Neil or Nigel. Starts calling him Ethan bc it's close to Nathan.

You know I think that might be another way to get under his skin bc he cares a lot about his image and persona (for reasons) and you refusing to go along with it is infuriating.

[cupofmaddy]

@the-guild-codex-and-other-things asked for an explanation but I don't have enough room in replies to type it LMFAO

the part in particular I'm talking about is verse one and two and the bridge that comes after.

"You were born bluer than a butterfly. Beautiful and so deprived of oxygen. Colder than your father's eyes. He never learned to sympathize with anyone"

immediately the references to blue throughout the whole song make me think of Neil's eyes, they play such an important part in his life, him consistently having to hide them because they're so striking and recognizeable. I think the part about his father is fairly obvious but playing into that the line about being deprived of oxygen and being cold makes me think about how his life must have been before Mary took him and left. Nathan would never have tolerated coddling, I can't imagine how little kindness and care he must have been shown, especially with the way he was considered to be property more than anything. love is a little like oxygen, especially to a baby. while they maybe don't need it to survive, depriving them of it can cause irreversible psychological effects.

You were born reachin' for your mother's hands. Victim of your father's plans to rule the world. Too afraid to step outside. Paranoid and petrified of what you've heard.

as children we have an instinctual urge to seek our mothers comfort. the ways in which that instinct must have been broken out of him before him and Mary even left is something I don't like to think about. in every way neil is a victim to his father's plans, he would have never gotten wrapped up in the moriyamas if it weren't for him, he wouldn't have been raised to live a life of servitude, he wouldn't have grown up on the run. Mary basically had to rebuild neil from the ground up over and over and over, each time they had to change identities, each time they were caught and had to patch eachother up, all the times he messed up and she taught him a lesson with violence and cruel words. and yet he still yearned for her prescence, not because she intentionally provided comfort but because she was literally the only constant he'd ever had. Her death left him completely and entirely alone in a world not meant for him and all he had was the skills she had beaten into him. she made him terrified to die despite the fact that before the foxes he had basically nothing to live for.

But they could say the same 'bout me. I sleep 'bout three hours each night. Means only twenty-one a week now, now. And I could say the same 'bout you. Born blameless, grew up famous too. Just a baby born blue now, now.

I don't think there was ever a moment neil was able to relax, not in his 18 years of life up until the foxes. And seriously, he was 18, he was practically a baby still. By 18 he was famous to the moriyamas and his father's crew, he was hunted down, wanted in several countries, broke crime after crime, there's a reason the FBI wanted him. Neil josten might have been nobody but Nathaniel wesninski was a huge deal. but despite it all he is blameless. there is not a world where I could blame him for any of the things that happened to him. he was a victim from the day he was born.

ugh this was so much longer than intended but I feel so strongly about neil and his past, like I will never get over him as a character and how well written he is

BLUE by Billie Eilish is Neil Jostens song no explanation necessary (I will absolutely give explanation please ask me about this)