#OK. OK. I AM. NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[apbeezah]

ooooaaaagggghhhhh

chap 5 of @manofthepipis 's fic is rly good.....

[cjjohansson]

- no stopping us now -

natasha romanoff x virgin!reader -reader has a penis- 18+ smut - 2.8k

summary: natasha has some questions, but is too afraid of the answer. it isn't until you confront maria do you understand what's going on and decide to take the next step.

-------------

"They won't sleep with me," Natasha mutters into the room. Wanda and Maria still as they turn to look at her. Confusion filling their faces.

"What?" Wanda answers back. 

"Y/n." Natasha mutters yet again, leaning towards the table and grabbing the bottle of vodka set between them. 

"They just might not want to share a bed with you. I've shared one with you a few times after missions, and you are such a bed hogger-"

"No, no, not like that. Ugh, god, they won't have sex with me!" Natasha huffs, throwing herself back onto the couch as she covers her face with her hands, embarrassment filling her face.

"Wait, I thought you had already slept together?" Maria leans forward now, her elbows resting on her knees. 

"No! We have been together for six months now and nothing! Make-out sessions, yeah sure, but they won't even touch me sexually. The other week, we had been watching a movie in bed, it got a little steamy, I grabbed their hand and put it on my boob and NOTHING! God, I don't know what to do..." Natasha sighs in frustration, Wanda and Maria turning to look at one another as they raise their eyebrows. 

"Wait, we are talking about Y/n, right? Like Y/n, who is meant to have slept with half of the women at SHEILD?" Maria asks, it doesn't make sense to her. 

"Thanks, way to make me feel better, Ria! Just forget about it..." Natasha huffs, going to stand up, but before she can, Wanda stops her. 

"Nat, no, come on, she was only joking, you can talk to us." Wanda tries to tempt her to sit down, but Natasha stays hovering behind the couch. 

"Nat, just talk to them, ask them. Have a conversation, then you will have answers." Maria weighs in again, Natasha stays silent, just staring into the distance, until she nods her head and walks out of the room. 

-------

4 Days Later.

"Hey, baby, movie later?"  You whisper as you wrap an arm around Natasha's waist from behind in the kitchen. Pressing a kiss into her neck. 

"Yeah, sure," Nat whispers back, making no move to turn in your arms like she normally does. 

"You ok?" You ask her again, moving from behind her to stand next to her. She won't even look at you. 

"Yh, just late for training, I'll see you later..." She is gone before you can even open your mouth to reply. You see Wanda sitting at the kitchen island in your peripheral vision, her eyes trying not to stare. Something is definitely up. 

"What do you know?" You ask her as you look up, and she can't hold your stare. 

"What? Nothing, nothing?" Wanda says as she stands up and quickly makes her way out of the kitchen. 

Weird. 

----

"What's going on with Nat?" You straight-up ask Maria as you walk into her office. Her eyes widen as she stops what she is doing. 

"What? Nothing, nothing?" 

"No, see that's EXACTLY what Wanda said. Nat's been acting weird since your little girls' night the other day, so spill it. Don't lie to me, Hill." 

"God, Nat is going to kill me..." 

"Hill, what is it?" 

"Why won't you have sex with her?" It's your turn for your eyes to widen now. Shock fills your face as you fall into one of the chairs placed opposite her desk.

"Sorry, what? I don't see how that's any-"

"That's what's wrong with her, she is horny, Y/n, probably has been since you got together. Because you won't bone her. God, you slept with the majority of SHEILD but won't even sleep with your girlfriend?" The words shock you, and the way Maria speaks so casually throws you majorly off guard. 

"Wait, what? Slept with the majority of SHEILD? Maria, I haven't slept with ANYONE from SHEILD?" 

"Yeah, and I'm the new Captain America!"

"No, Maria, I am serious..." She looks into your eyes then, and stays silent while trying to read you. 

"Holy FUCK! YOU'RE A VIRGIN?!" 

"MARIA! Keep your fucking voice down, ok!" Marias mouth hangs open at the fact that you don't correct her. Her eyes wide open, too.

"None of this is even your business. And I'd prefer it if this stayed between us, ok? Bye Hill." You mutter as you escape the room at record speed, ignoring the looks you receive as you walk through the corridors. You can feel the heat on your cheeks, and your palms are sweaty from the awkwardness that is flowing through you. You hate how quickly she worked you out there. 

----

By the time you have done everything you needed to get done today, it's 6:45 pm. Anxiety has been surrounding you all day. You haven't even spoken to Natasha since this morning, and it is all you've wanted to do since speaking to Maria, but you're glad you took the time to focus on yourself and what you need to say. 

It's 7:30 by the time Natasha comes to your room, and you can feel the awkward tension in the air as you both settle on the bed next to one another, a movie waiting to play in the background, you picked a random one you hadn't recognised, hoping Natasha hadn't seen it either. 

Then tension is still in the air when you reach halfway into the film, and you can't take it anymore. 

"We need to talk..." You swallow the lump in your throat as you turn your body to face Natasha.

"Yh, we do," Natasha replies, as she turns towards you now. You watch as she pulls the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands; she feels the tension too. 

"Why won't-"

"I'm a virgin." 

Silence. Other than the movie continuing to play in the background, neither of you speaks. You let your words linger in the air for a few more minutes until you finally find the courage to speak again.

"I was going to -"

"Wait, what? What about all them women?"

"Maria said the same thing!"

"Wait, you spoke to Maria?!" 

"You were being weird..."

"Y/n...you could have-"

"I could have told you, I know, I'm sorry...I just didn't want to ruin this, ruin us..." Natasha moves closer then, her hand moving towards your cheek to lift your head to look at her.

"I was scared to tell you, worried that you would see me differently, I didn't want that, I know about the rumours of all the women, but they're just take, rumours. I've never slept with anyone, god, I've never actually even seen a woman naked in real life-"

Natasha cuts you off, pressing her lips onto yours, shutting you up completely. She throws her leg over your waist, settling herself down on top of you as she continues to hold your face, her lips moulding onto your own as she pushes her tongue into your mouth. 

"This feels good..." You moan onto her lips, pulling away to calm down for a moment. 

"Natasha..."

"For like 5 months, I thought you didn't find me attractive, sure you have called me pretty and stuff, but physically...you should have told me, I wouldn't have seen you any differently. I tried so many times to make a move, and you always turned them down..."

"I was scared."

"Well, I know that now!"

"You still want to sleep with me?" You mutter into the space between you both. You watch as she bites her lip, nodding before she moves back onto your lips. She pulls back a moment later.

"You sure? I don't want to push-"

"I want this, I want you, can't you tell?" You moan as you drag her hips over yourself, your erection well and truly present. 

"Mmhmm, fuck..." Nat mutters as she connects your lips again. 

"I don't know what I'm doing, Tasha..." You moan into her as she continues to drag her hips against your own.

"I've got you." She whispers onto your lips. Her hips stop their movements as she moves her hands to the bottom of her hoodie, dragging it over her head and throwing it somewhere into the room. You're rewarded with her bare breasts in front of you, your eyes nearly bulging out of your head.

Her hands instantly move to your t-shirt, dragging it over your own head and soon following her hoodie. She moves off of you, and you have to hold in the whine that wants to release from your own throat at her body no longer being pressed against yours. 

You watch as Natasha pulls her shorts down her legs, her underwear following after, and you don't bother stopping the whine falling this time. She looks back up at you with a smirk, moving forward and grabbing your shorts and pulling them down along with your boxers. 

You both stay still, staring at one another for a moment before she finally moves again. 

Natasha finds purchase between your now open legs, she moes forward pressing a soft kiss to your lips before pulling away again. 

"Call out, widow, if you want to stop." You nod in reply, eyes wide as she starts kissing your neck. Natasha sucks harshly ever now and then, clearly leaving her mark as she starts to drag her kisses down your neck and towards your torso. You're breathing heavily, and you feel overwhelmed, but so good that you refuse to let her stop. She looks so good right now.

Her hands join the journey until she reaches her desired destination. She looks up at you, her eyes dark and blown. Then her hands find your dick, she grabs you gently, jerking you off slowly as you throw your head back, a moan leaving your lips.

"F-fuck- shit, that- that feels good." You moan aloud.

"You've done this before, though, right?" Natasha mutters, you feel her breath hit your thigh, and you look down to meet her eyes.

"A few times, haven't in m-months, you feel way- way better though." Natasha moans at that, then she moves again, she places a kiss on your tip, your head falling backwards again as you try to slow down your breathing. 

Your hand finally moves, it connects softly with Natasha's cheek, then moves lower to her neck, you grip her lightly, pulling her face towards yours. You press your lips onto hers, moaning into her mouth when she tightens her hold and jerks you quicker. 

Natasha smiles against your lips over your moans, "I want to suck your dick, you gon let me?" She mutters, your head nodding quickly as you let her go. You watch as she makes her descent again. A teasing smile on her lips, she stops as she reaches the tip of your dick. 

"I love you" 

"I-I love you too."

And then her mouth is on you, you can't stop your moans now. They're loud and frantic, your hand finds her head, gripping her hair and moving with her as she sucks you deep. Your eyes rolling into the back of your head. 

"I'm gon cum.." You whimper, your eyes are screwed shut. But then she takes her mouth off of you, her hand now making more movement. 

"Yeah? Where do you wan' cum?" Natasha mutters before taking you deeply again.

"In your mouth!" You shout as she speeds up her movements, her hand helping her to take what she can't fit into her mouth. 

"FUCK! FUCK! I m'm-I'm!" Your body jerks as you cum, your hips lifting off the bed as you finish into Natasha's mouth, her gagging as she swallows every last drop fills the room. She brings you down slowly, her mouth finally releasing you. You watch her with your eyes wide open, another moan slipping from your lips as she wipes some of your cum off the corner of her lips. 

"Come here." You tell her, grabbing her hand and pulling her into your lap. Your mouth connects with hers, pressing small kisses onto her lips before moving them to her neck. Her head moves to the side to give you more space. 

"I want to touch you." You bite into her neck, "Then touch me..." Natasha says as she releases a breathy moan. 

"I don't..." You're cut off when she moves her head away from you, grabs your hand and moves it towards her face. She places your thumb in her mouth, shocking you as she sucks it before moving it down her neck, and towards her breasts. Natasha hovers for a moment, her hand holding yours on her breast until she squeezes, your hand following her movements as you finally squeeze her breasts. She moans lightly, moving her hand to grab your thumb again and teasing her nipple with it. Her other hand moves towards your head. Pulling you closer to her, you get the idea, and your mouth connects with Natasha's nipple. Sucking gently and then swirling your tongue around it, you feel her squirm in your lap. Her other hand starts to move your hand down her body again, your mouth now moving to her other breast and repeating the same actions. 

Your own breath hitches as your hand connects with Natasha's core. Your fingers move through her folds, getting used to the feeling of her as she starts to move her hips against your hand. 

"That's it, you're doing so good, detka..." Natasha moans, your mouth moving off her chest, your free hand moving back to her neck and pulling her lips back into you. 

"Just like that," Natasha groans, her hips stilling as your fingers move to her entrance, entering her slowly. Natasha stays still for a moment, getting used to your fingers before she starts moving her hips against you. "Fuckkkk." Natasha lets her head fall into your neck, biting into your neck as her palm grazes her clit every time she moves her hips. 

She pulls away quickly, lifting herself up and off of your fingers, "What-" You cut yourself off with a loud moan as Natasha grabs your hard again dick, she rubs your dick against her fold a few times before she moves you to her entrance. Your eyes follow her every moment, your breathing deep and heavy as she slowly starts to push herself down onto you. 

"GOD! Fuck, baby!" You groan, resisting the urge to thrust your hips as Natasha slowly moves down your length. 

"Shitt- you're so big, feel so full!" Natasha groans, her hips finally settling onto your own, one hand frantically moves to her hip, while the other one grabs her throat. 

"You're so wet. So tight, feel so good!" You huff as you allow the feeling of Natasha take over you. Her lips press onto yours softly. She breathes into your mouth, lifting her hips so only the lip is inside her before she drops herself back down.

You look down, watching as you move in and out of her from her movements. Her walls clench tightly around you, her eyes fluttering shut as she starts to move quicker. 

"Gon cum", Natasha whispers. "Me too," your hips now lifting off the bed to meet her hips, her hips meet your own more frantically. 

"Baby," Natasha sighs, sweat dripping down her chest as she speeds up her movements, your eyes zoning onto her chest, watching her tits bounce with her. 

"Cum for me..." You whimper out; she clenches around you, her body slowing down as her body jerks, her mouth open in a silent moan as she finally cums.

"I'm not stopping until you cum." Natasha's words are firm, your body reaching out to her as she speeds up, despite her body seemingly being overstimulated. You grab her shoulders, pulling her down onto your chest and flipping you both over, your thrusts going crazy fast as you find your confidence to chase your own orgasm. 

Natasha bites your neck and collarbones again. Anything to help you get to where she wants you. 

It isn't long until you feel the burning need to cum. Your eyes fly to Nat's, her head nodding, telling you it's okay, "cum, please," she practically begs, her core tightening again, and that's all it takes.

Your body releases. Your hips twitch as you empty yourself inside of her. You let my body collapse into hers, both of you panting messes.

"fuck, fuck, fuck!" You breathe heavily as you try to pull out of her. 

"Nooo, stay, please." You move back forward, letting your head rest on her collarbone as you try to regain your breathing. 

"I love you..." Natasha whispers to you; you feel her lips press against the top of your head.

"I love you." Your words are quiet as you think about everything that just happened. 

You had no reason to be scared. Not with her, never with her. 

"Give me 10 minutes, and I'm sure I can go again," you mumble into Natasha's chest as she releases a light chuckle. 

"What, now you've got it, you don't want to stop?" Nat questions you. 

"I don't think I'm ever gonna want to leave you." You tell her as you connect your lips with hers and start to grind your hips back into her again. 

[malone0331]

Ok, I don’t normally repost fandom stuff, but this is so fucking gorgeous that it feels criminal to NOT repost. I want to chew on this art, I’m absolutely loosing my mind. The stretch marks, the shadows where the fingers dig in, the gentle hold the person being carried has on him. I can’t get over this. I am loosing my mind over it. This has such reverence put into every aspect of it, both in the way the artist drew it and in the way they hold each other.

mine

[diphowell]

what dnp video are you So Normal* about

*read: you cannot watch this without having to write like a full dissertation about the Two Gays on screen

ok i have two answers because one isn’t TECHNICALLY a dnp video

i am OBSESSED with trying to catch and rescue an injured wild pigeon because you do not see dans face but he is SO present in that video. and i dont just mean his leggy in frame. from the choices in how he filmed the video, to the fact that he filmed it period, to phil saying dan was going to hold the cord to close the cage door while filming, and dan preventing him from walking into things while he was carrying steve. and dan softly telling steve “sorry steve, we’re going to rescue you”. i think because dan was so not in public even on his own channel at the time it is this beautiful look into their lives as a couple.

and for actual dnp vids, dan and phil and a tiny horse solely so i could talk for two hours about the fact that phil has noticed that whenever dan has had the camera last he had been zoomed in on phil's face along with the way dan laughed when phil commented on it. jesus fucking christ. i'm already insane about people using literal lenses as ways to express their love. the way phil is framed when dan is filming him is out of love. the way dan is framed when phil is filming him is out of love! oh my god

[aventurineswife]

So I have a reaaaally silly/stupid fic idea and pls I wantchu to humour me XP 🍮

So, Miyabi had sum accident which turns her into a gender bent that's literally a harumasa that's hotter, little more playful than normal and more serious (like imagine harumasa wielding her katana 😍

and reader is contemplating their feelings while harumasa watches in absolute horror as their s/o is thinking that miyabi (miyabai amiright XD imsorrybadlyplaceddadjoke-XP) is and could be better than him as a boyfie (like reader could've thought out loud or blushed a little too hard when interacting with miyabi)

Cue to him being a jealous pouty baby and acting all clingy and trying to prove his worth to reader, while reader either plays him like a fiddle or assures him nothing is gonna separate them XD

Ok I apologise fr the lengthy request but this seemed like a funny idea X3c

-🍮

“Still Hotter Than Miyabai”

Summary: When a training accident turns the serious, stoic Miyabi into a surprisingly hot, genderbent version of herself—playful, skilled, and sword-wielding—you find yourself just a little too flustered for Harumasa's liking. Suddenly faced with the idea that you might find “Miyabai” cooler, Harumasa spirals into a jealous, pouty mess. Determined to prove he’s still the superior boyfriend, he pulls out all the stops (and his blades) to win back your flustered heart.

Tags: Harumasa x Reader, Genderbend Miyabi, Fluff, Crack, Jealous!Harumasa, Clingy Boyfriend, Pining, Misunderstandings, Lighthearted Romance, Mild Angst, Reader Teasing Harumasa and Reassures Him.

Warnings: Brief Flustered Attraction, Jealousy and Insecurity (Lighthearted), Mild Cursing, Playful Possessiveness.

A/N: "Miyabai" is officially canon now for this context, thank you.

You weren’t expecting this.

No. No one was expecting this.

One moment, Miyabi was chewing out the rookie for improper sword posture in her usual, sharp-as-her-katana tone—and the next? An experimental Ether relic misfired in Section 6’s training facility, blinding light, loud whoosh, yadda yadda...

Now?

Miyabi was… Miyabai.

Still deadly. Still stoic. But somehow radiating this effortless, almost magnetic charm in her new form—like Harumasa with straight posture and terrifying eye contact. Tall, sharp-jawed, a glint of mischief behind those otherwise serious red eyes. Wielding Tailless like it was born in his hand. Literally a samurai dreamboat out of some anime cover art.

And you were blushing. Hard.

“...Whoa,” you murmured. Just loud enough.

Which was just enough for Harumasa—who had been watching from his usual half-reclined spot on a stack of ammo crates, one arm behind his head, bow unstrung—to snap his gaze to you. Eyes narrowed. Lips parted in offense. Betrayal practically oozing from his pores.

You didn’t notice. Too busy watching genderbent Miyabi slice an entire simulation dummy in half with such clean efficiency it made your spine tingle.

Harumasa noticed.

Hours later, you were leaning against the wall outside the medical wing, sipping on a milk tea while mentally re-evaluating every life decision that led you to momentarily thirst after your team leader's accidental magical clone. You were almost at peace with it.

Until—

“You looked like you were gonna ask her out.”

You blinked. Harumasa was standing beside you now, uncharacteristically upright. His hair was messier than usual, like he’d run his hands through it five times in a row out of sheer anxiety. His bright eyes were squinted, his mouth tugged downward in a rare, pouty scowl.

“Wha—are you pouting?”

“No,” he snapped. (He was.)

You bit your straw to suppress the grin. “Are you... jealous?”

“Of my boss turned magically hot samurai clone? Absolutely not. Why would I be jealous? I am me. The original. The superior Haru.”

“Oh my god, you are jealous.”

“I’m not—!” he threw up his hands. “You were blushing. I saw it. You turned redder than Miyabi’s eyes. Do you like her?”

You gave him a long, appraising stare. Then took another slow sip. “...He was pretty cool with the sword. Kind of graceful. Confident. Serious. Tall.”

“Stop.”

“Commanding presence.”

“Stop.”

“Reminds me of someone…”

Harumasa looked deeply betrayed. Like a cat whose nap spot was usurped. “You know what? Fine. Let’s go. Right now.”

“What?”

He dropped into a low crouch, pulling Dormant Tide from his back, then snapping it into its dual blades—Dormant Blossom and Dark Tide—like a damn movie protagonist. “I’ll prove it. I’m still your number one sword guy. Miyabai WHO? I’ll show you efficient violence in HD.”

You almost dropped your tea.

“Wait, Harumasa—”

“Fight me,” he barked, already walking to the sparring mats. “Or fight beside me. Doesn’t matter. Either way, you’re about to see who deserves your blushing.”

Ten minutes later, Harumasa had taken down six advanced Ethereal dummies with half his usual effort—hair slightly tousled, a soft sheen of sweat on his brow, eyes locked on you the entire time like a smug cat that brought you a bird.

“Impressed yet?” he asked, panting just a bit, blades at his sides.

You blinked. “...You really did all that just to get my attention?”

“Was it not worth it?”

You smiled, walking up to him and gently poking his forehead. “You dork. You had it from the moment you tossed sugar packets at the vending machine instead of drinking sweet coffee.”

He blinked. “Wait—that’s what got me the brownie points?”

“I’m dating you, Harumasa. Not... Miyabai.” You leaned in with a grin. “Though I’ll admit, the sword flip was hot.”

He smirked, eyes lighting up in triumph. “So you're saying I am the hotter one.”

“I didn’t say that—”

“Too late. I'm putting it on a t-shirt. ‘Still Hotter Than Miyabai’.”

You rolled your eyes. He slung an arm around your shoulder and leaned dramatically against you, fake-limping like his ego needed emergency Ether transfusion. “My pride was almost destroyed today. You're lucky I’m emotionally resilient.”

You kissed his cheek. “You're lucky I like pouty babies.”

“Hey, I am not a—wait. Is that what you’re into?”

You raised an eyebrow, “Maybe.”

He blushed. Hard.

“...I take back everything. Let Miyabi keep the katana. I’ve got all the weapons I need.”

You smirked. “Your blades?”

“No. Your love and my crippling need for validation.”

You laughed, and he finally relaxed—leaning into you with that lazy smirk that told you everything was right in his ridiculous little world again.

[malleusmaleficent]

STOP IM OBSESSED get these little homos out of the way im so obsessed with the first one omg they're bLOCKING MY VIEW i hate gay people not everything is about you alright

i love the composition of the first one so much it's crazy it's like the platonic ideal of impressionism like it's such a weird thing to be fixated on but i am so entranced by the delineation between the ground and the sky, like. ok it's almost 5 am can i articulate myself

i must try

like that delineation being where it is is what makes it so clear that you're looking at a night sky, it creates that sense of vastness that you see when you look at the endless stepped of central asia, like where the rolling green hills are so numerous as to be beyond count but somehow it's still dwarfed by the unceasing horizon and the sky just swallows up the whole thing no matter the vastness of the earth

that's what this is, like that small thing like where a line is drawn is so key to selling the feeling

ends up being kind of somber almost despite how colorful it is cause it's got that like gravitas that a pretty night has

and the frayed red around the edges like oh my god listen i can't

I CAN'T

the homos are cute too btw i like how they're lit

BUT THAT SKY THO im normal i swear

time to skip the middle man and write a 190k word long fanfic about how cool it is where lines are drawn where they are

northern lights hunting

[speed-world]

Ok, so one-shot where Dark Cacao and Dark Choco run into their daughter/sister who is wielding the Strawberry Jam sword.

She was very good at hiding how bad her mental health really was, and genuinely meant to dispose of the sword when she found it, but fate decided that it was her turn.

You had just waved goodnight to your father, the king, and closed the doors to your chambers. To make sure he had fully left, you waited against the door to hear his footsteps trail off in the distance. After a while of silence, you quickly went to open the window next to your bed, with your expected guest instantly rolling inside with little to no sound.

“Glad to see you weren’t caught out there, father would probably hound me for secretly having you over here.”

“Hmpf, I have my ways, although any longer and I might have been compromised. Maybe you’ve been getting slow, sister.”

“Hah, you say slow, I say patient, dear brother. I am the one making sure neither of us get in big trouble after all.”

You both shared a soft laugh as your brother got settled. Hanging out with him was fun, albeit dangerous and difficult with his situation. Someday things will formerly get back to normal, but for now, this will do for the both of you.

“So what have you been up to lately? Have you been improving on your training since I was last here?”

“Oh yeah! I’ve been doing really great with—some of Caramel Arrow Cookie’s weapons.”

Dark Choco Cookie chuckled, amazed that the First Watcher would allow you to use her weapons for your training. But truthfully…she didn’t. Yet again, like many times before, you lied to him. A roaring noise from a chest beside your bed was a loud reminder as to what you’ve really been using for training with “dummies” lately.

You hated its sound, the sound that only you could hear. It made your dough sweat and heavy, and who knows how many jam stains you had to clean off it by now…why did it have to be you? Why couldn’t it just go away after Dark Choco parted with it? Why, why—

“Y/N Cookie? Why are you still just standing there? Did you hear anything I just said?”

“Oh yeah, I did! Just got lost daydreaming again, you know?”

He hummed and dismissed the issue, after all he knew of your habit of “daydreaming.” You wish it was simply that, and it used to be. But now, all you see and hear when you get lost in thought is that cursed blade, haunting your mind at nearly every moment.

It was calling to you yet again, and the only way to silence it, if only for a few moments, was to let it out. But with your brother here, how could you satisfy the urge of the sword while keeping him, and everyone else within the castle walls, safe?

“…hey brother, can you help me find my old blanket? Last time I remember it being in my closet, but I just struggle to find it there. I imagine you’d miraculously find it there when I can’t, heh.”

“Hehe, sure. If your closet is still the mess I remember, then I imagine why you’re struggling.”

Sharing a soft laugh as he went to your closet on the other end of the room, you saw this as your chance. All you’d need to do is hold the sword and swing it around for a bit and that will shut it up, right? It has been more restless recently, but surely after cutting down some rotting trees outside, your mind will be quieter again…right?

No need to waste any more time. You snapped open the chest and grabbed the sword’s hilt, and—

A violent blood curling scream erupted from you, followed by being engulfed in a torrent of black lightning, and your vision being clouded by nothing but red. All you could hear was radio feedback and the distant sound of something crashing through several walls.

You barely felt anything other than the motions of your arms swinging around the sword in all kinds of directions. The force, or forces, of something were being pushed against you and your sword, but to little avail. It wasn’t until you heard the call of your father, with his own sword drawn to you, that you somewhat had your consciousness snapped back into you.

“That wretched blade will no longer be the bane to my children! I shall shatter that sword into dust, and rid this world of any memory of it!”

Your vision became clearer after his words, but was still hard to make sense of from the heat of the tears welling up in your eyes. You saw him, Dark Choco, lying there motionless on the floor, with some scratches on his dough and jam around the area he laid on. Even though you wanted to go to help him up, or at even just cry, beg that what you were seeing wasn’t true, the sword acted for you, defending you from the strikes of Dark Cacao and his own sword.

You wanted this to end, you wanted your father to take this pain away from you, but the sword just grew louder and louder, not giving you or your father an inch. You wish you were as strong willed as your brother, if you were, maybe you’d muster the strength to reveal your inner issues with your family sooner. Maybe you’d be able to drop the sword on your own accord just like he did, or maybe…maybe you would have never picked it up by yourself in the first place…

[sighsebstan]

When You’re Near Me

fluffy little one shot based on When You’re Near Me I Have Difficulty by XTC.

reader’s pronouns are not mentioned nor are there physical descriptions of the reader.

Disclaimers: i write very rarely, and i barely proofread this. as a result, this might be hot garbage. but nonetheless i did think this was too tooth rotting not to post. i just really loved the new superman movie and needed an outlet. also! i am ignoring the fact that his glasses distort his appearance to others bc this is my truth. thank you.

pairing- david!clark kent x reader

You felt so stupid. When the hairs on the back of your neck would stand up, just because you had memorized how Clark’s steps sounded while he walked towards his desk. Closer to you. It was like you had to put yourself in manual drive. Commanding actionable requests in your own head like “breath in 1,2,3 and out 1,2,3.” Or “Ok now look around, now make eye contact, now look at your nails, and back to eye contact. Smile! Don’t forget to smile!” It was so hard to act normal knowing that the man you had been crushing on for a year was right behind you.

Clark was many things. Smart, kind, funny, tall, handsome, charming, hot, hypnotic, buff, lovely, cute, attractive, beautiful, ravishing, stunning, good-looking, gorgeous, visually appealing, radiant, statuesque, photogenic, luscious, prepossessing, pulchritudinous and many other Meriam-Webster Dictionary listed synonyms for handsome.

He always holds the elevator for people, always makes a new pot of coffee when the office pot runs out, and he always comes in with a sunny disposition that radiates throughout the office.

You felt a familiar sensation on the back of your neck as the sound of Clark’s chair wheeled closer to you and Cat. Your heart began beating faster.

“Are you guys talking about that new movie that just came out? Whats it called? The one that used A.I in the movie poster? Ah gosh I just had it…” Clark trailed off.

“Ummmmm…” you attempted.

“Yeah, we were just saying it’s such a shame that every good thing is basically ruined by A.I lately,” Cat starts, “and I know you two both really wanted to see that one too.” Cat liked to think of herself as a matchmaker. You preferred the term sadist. She loved putting you in a position where you had to talk to Clark. She claims it’s just because Clark is a man that would ‘actually treat you right’ and that the exposure therapy is good for you.

“Not anymore. I mean, for Pete’s sake, way to strip the humanity out of art.”

You scoffed. “For real. Taking the art out of art.”

Oh my god. What? That barely even made sense. Art, art, art. Are you a god damn sea lion? Ugh.

“Exactly! it’s not even art.”

“Yeah!” You were quick to respond, feeling a high off of a simple interaction with the small town man. But that fire was quickly snuffed when you made eye contact again. He had a way of watching people when they spoke. You had recognized it before and it never failed to make you feel like a bug under a magnifying glass being seared by a flaming August sunbeam.

There was a beat where the eye contact was broken but his stare remained locked on your face. You watched his eyes travel around your face. To your nose, then to your lips, to your chin, your cheek, and then quickly back to your eyes. But when his eyes returned to yours, your eyes darted to find anything else to look at and landed on the little decorations you keep on your desk.

At the same time Cat is pulled away from the conversation by Jimmy. Something about a source backing out and needing Cat to help him find a new one.

“Oh uh, thank you for editing my superman interview so last minute, by the way. I ended up submitting it right before the deadline, you saved me a lot guff.”

“No problem! I get to read an interview with Superman before it’s public, I should be thanking you.”

Clark huffed out a chuckle. “Well if you ever wanted to get coffee sometime before work, it’s on me. As a thank you.” No gross office jet fuel coffee did sound pretty good. And not paying sounded even better. But the idea of having to be alone with Clark in public immediately spiked your nerves.

“Oh,” you pushed out through a nervous sigh and a smile, “that’s okay, it’s my job.” You were absentmindedly shifting the position of your various desk tchotchkes and picture frames.

“I know you stayed well after hours to help me out with that interview, it’s the least I can do. Please?”

“Are you sure?”

“Very.”

“Okay. Um, there’s a pretty good coffee spot like a block away from here. They opened not too long ago.”

“Bean Machine? I love that place! We can meet there tomorrow morning if you’re not busy.” And you couldn’t stop your mind from hypothesizing: what does Clark Kent order from a coffee shop? A flavored latte? A juice? Or one of those frozen monstrosities?

——————————————————————————

“Could I please get a large hot chocolate and…” Clark begins his order to the green haired barista who is quickly tapping on the iPad system. Clark gestures his hand in your direction as if to say ‘you have the floor.’

“… And could I please get a medium iced coffee? Thank you!”

Your phone vibrates in your hand and you look down to see a text notification from Cat.

Cat:

It’s happening!

You:

I’m gonna throw up.

You were at least mostly joking.

The coffee shop had a few seating areas made up of brown pleather couches, brown pleather ottomans, and oatmeal colored knit stools. The two of you took your spots while you waited for your orders to be called. You sat at the far end of the couch, which ended up being a horrible idea for your sake because Clark also sat on the couch.

“Thank you for the coffee!” You speak loudly to be heard over the murmurs of fellow morning commuters and the sudden grinding of ice from the frozen drink mixer.

“Of course!” He beams at you with that pure small town smile. “Thank you again for saving my bacon and sacrificing your overtime.”

“No problem.”

And then the silence came between you two. This was your nightmare. You tried to find something, anything, to talk about but your mind came up blank. Great.

“Orders for Clark!” The barista shouted from the counter.

“Hey that’s us!” You couldn’t tell if he said that to you or himself. You watched him get up. You had never seen someone look that breath taking in a simple white button up and slacks as black as his wavy hair.

You were quick to trail behind him though. Eager to get yourself out of that situation as quickly as possible. He thanks the baristas on the other side of the counter before turning to hand you your coffee.

“Here ya go.” Clark’s fingers briefly brush yours as he passes you the to-go cup. All air left your lungs and you had consequently forgot the words to say thank you.

You’re not sure why you thought the interaction would end once you left the coffee shop. You neglected to consider the fact that you are both walking towards the Daily Planet office building.

“How’s the coffee?” He asks, taking a sip of his respective beverage.

“It’s so good, those guys sure know how to roast a mean bean.” Oh my god. Stop talking immediately. You ramble to try to erase what you just said. “How’s the hot chocolate? I didn’t even know they sold hot chocolate there. I know some places use water instead of milk to make their hot chocolate. Is it… is it watery?”

“No it’s really good! Definitely a, uh, milk based hot chocolate. Kind of reminds me of the hot chocolate my Ma always makes in the winter. Growing up, I’d come in from the snow- I would spend all day out there building stuff out of snow, throwing snowballs with friends. Sometimes Pa would tie the sled to the back of his riding mower and i would see how long i could go without falling off the sled. But anyway, then I’d come inside to the fire place going and Ma had the hot chocolate already on the stove.”

“Aw that sounds so nice, I love when senses can spark super specific memories like that. Hot chocolate always reminds me of my first job in high school. I was an assistant for the mall Santas. There was one Santa that requested that any time he was low on hot chocolate somebody, me, had to go get him another. I never learned his real name too, he only ever introduced himself as Santa.”

“That might have been the real guy, I think.” He joked.

“Well then, off the record, father Christmas has a terrible smoking problem.”

“Well, jeez, this poor guys gotta remember toy requests from millions of children, manage possibly thousands of elves, deliver everything in one night, and he can’t have a little something to take the edge off?” Even if he was being sarcastic, you still got a kick out of the fact that this was coming from Clark the most innocent person you’ve possibly ever met.

“Is Clark Kent advocating for smoking right now?” You questioned.

“Only for Santa.” He rebutted.

“Mmmm.” You mumbled in acknowledgment. At this point the two of you had stepped into the elevator and Clark pressed the button to your floor.

“This was really fun.”

“Yeah i agree, thanks again for the coffee.”

“Thanks for the company.”

“Any time.” Any time? You absolutely did not mean that. You think your heart would give out if this ever happened again.

“I might take you up on that.” Please no.

——————————————————————————

Once you sat at your desk you started right away opening your emails until Cat came and sat on your desk next to your monitor. She tapped her acrylic nails on the desk.

“Soooo…” she had expectant eyes as she searched your face for a hint of how you were feeling.

“It was fine, Cat. Nothing scandalous, he bought the drinks and then we walked here. The end.”

“And look at that, you survived!”

“Mhhm.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the optimism. But she did have a point. You not only survived, you had a pleasant interaction. One small step for a man, one giant leap for you.

“Well, someone else seems to think it went more than okay.” You look up at Cat.

“Yup. Someone told me that he had a great time getting coffee with you. That you’re super nice and he liked getting to know you. And something about how he was a little nervous at first.”

“Because I’m weird and quiet?”

“Because you’re cute.”

“No.” Your eyes were wide. Your voice echoed slightly throughout the open concept office so you ducked your head to not be seen.

“Yes!” Cat whisper-yelled.

“This is not a funny joke Cat.”

“Why would I joke about my favorite matchmaking experiment?”

“Oh my god.”

“But were those his exact words?”

“Hand on the bible, Hun. Yes.”

——————————————————————————

That night you were laid out on your couch watching reality TV when you felt your phone buzz.

Clark:

I can’t stop thinking about that hot chocolate.

You:

I’ll have to try it sometime, find out what all this hype is about.

You wished desperately that you could be the type of person whose hands didn’t shake while texting your work crush.

Clark:

It can be my treat again!

Clark:

If you wanted to go with me again i mean haha

You:

It’s on me this time! I insist.

Clark:

We’ll see about that. Thursday? Same time?

You:

Works for me!

Clark “liked” a message you sent.

——————————————————————————

When Thursday rolled around you met at the coffee shop again, the conversation flowed like a ping pong tournament after you ordered your drinks. Your knees were weak at the sight of his forearms protruding from the rolled up sleeves of his baby blue button-up and the way that shade of blue brings out his eyes. Clark was telling you all about the research he’s been doing on a fortune 500 company’s financial scandal. He was so passionate about uncovering injustice, it was inspiring. And the way his face would light up when he spoke so passionately was a nice bonus.

“The people have a right to know where their money is going, you know?”

“Yes! We need to be putting our money where our mouths are and stop funding these companies that use our dollars to commit crimes.”

The conversation went a million directions from there. Childhood pets, favorite movies, public transportation. It was enough that you forgot to be nervous.

“Oh, golly I think they called our names like 5 minutes ago and we didn’t hear it.” He walked over to the counter to double check the fact that those were in fact your orders that had been sitting.

“Oops! Wait- what time is it?”

“Ummm I think we’re gonna be a few minutes late.” Clark replied while looking at the time on his phone.

You grabbed your coffee from Clark and the two of you went speed walking down the side walk and around the corner.

You’re able to pause and take a breath once Clark scans you both in and you walk through the door toward the elevator. You press the up button before taking a sip of your iced coffee.

“I just remembered! That whole trip was for you to try the hot chocolate.”

“Ohhhh no!” You replied. You were so stuck in your habits that you ordered your usual without much thought.

“Next time?”

“When is next time?”

“Tomorrow?”

“Sure!”

“Alright, Santa’s helper, it’s a plan.” You felt your face gest up at the nickname. He remembered your silly little story?

For the next few weeks it became routine for you two to meet at Bean Machine before work. You told him there’s just no place that roasts beans the same way. But you knew it was just an excuse to see him.

——————————————————————————

“Do you wanna meet up tomorrow?” Clark asks through bites of his flakey croissant breakfast sandwich.

“Tomorrow’s Saturday.”

“I know, I was thinking maybe we could get together without work getting in the way. Only if you want to though, obviously.”

And suddenly that weak knee feeling is back. The lack of words comes back. He wants to see you on the weekend?

“Really?” You ask.

“What do you mean ‘really?’” He laughs. “Yeah, really.”

You pause to collect yourself, hoping it comes off more like contemplation than nerve management. “Um, sure, yeah. What should we get up to?”

“Maybe some mini golf? As long as you’re not intimidated by people who are really good at mini golf.”

“I love mini golf!”

“Alright then mini golf it is. I would suggest coffee first but I think we’ve gone too often as a work thing for it to be a good date sp-“ and then he stops in his tracks and stares just past you. “Oh my gosh. I’m sorry, I did not mean to- I just- that word- there are multiple definitions-“ He begins stuttering.

“Clark you’re fine! You didn’t mean it like that, I know.” While you begin to set the pace for you two to continue walking towards the office building, you attempt to console the 6’4 man who is actively shrinking himself out of embarrassment.

He closes his eyes before opening them to look at you, “What if I did mean it like that?”

“Like what?” You wouldn’t dare assume. You need him to be clear.

“What if I want to take you on a real date? What would you say?” He asks while ushering you to the side of the crowd of commuters so that the two of you can stand and talk by the wall.

“I would say I am very glad I used that overtime on you.”

He looks at you with his charming smile just a little wider than usual, his eyes crinkling in the corners, his cheeks turning slightly pink.

“Yeah?” He asks while stepping closer to you, running his hand down your arm until his hand reaches yours, clasping your hand in his. The electricity you’ve felt just from your fingers touching on coffee cups was amplified by 100. It made you dizzy. It made you crave more from him.

“Yeah. I would very much enjoy going on a real date with you, Clark.” You look up at him, confident for the first time that you know exactly what to say and ignoring your knees which are still attempting to betray you as you stand on the sidewalk.

“Oh my god!” You heard a high pitched voice exclaim.

You look around Clark’s large frame to see Cat running toward you. “Does this mean-“ and she looked between you and Clark for confirmation.

“I am the world’s best match maker!” She concluded.

“Oh my god, Cat! Shhhh!” You stared at her, you’re eyes trying send her a message that she did not care to receive.

“Wait- did you know I went to Cat for advice when we started hanging out?”

“No, she was giving me advice on talking to you!”

“I’m a genius.” She stated, with a self assuredness you envied and loved her for in equal measure. “See you at the office, lovebirds!”

As she disappeared into the sea of dress shoes and briefcases, you both decided you should probably not make each other late for work again and made your way in the same direction.

“Advice?” He questioned with a smirk.

“You make me a little nervous sometimes, can you blame me? You’re- you’re you.”

“Aw, shucks. You’re pretty great yourself.”

“Didn’t you say you also asked her for advice?” And suddenly the man got red again.

“I did. Sometimes I get frazzled around you.”

“Really?”

He’s nodding as you walk in to the office and you, as a pair, nonverbally agree to keep your weekend plans to yourselves.

——————————————————————————

[jenny-ratmeal]

How I Came to Be.

Please allow me to spill my guts, I have rarely let myself do it. It is gonna be kinda long but please do read and tell me your thoughts as it is important to me.

[The slutty outfit I wore because I had the excuse of going to a concert]

The other night I went to go see a Stomach Book concert in Seattle. Obviously the Music was amazing, but more importantly for me it was the first trans-focused event I went to after coming out. It has been a hard couple months, of course I wouldn't trade it for the world but sometimes I can't help but feel like it's all pointless because I'm a 6'3" baritone and other such whiny baby nonsense.

But on that night when I showed up at the club, it was like a transcendental experience. Obviously the music was great, but the crowd is what really did it for me. I knew there would be a lot of us there but the audience was seriously like 70% trans women. Everywhere I looked there were beautiful, tall, clocky dykes. They were dancing, kissing, loving and living. They seemed confident and radiant. They spoke with honesty and voices that didn't sound pained. They proudly bared their broad shoulders, not at all looking like a curse. Their bodies were not prisons, no matter how flat, or tall, or fat they were.

I spent so long hollow and numb that I thought what emotions really feel like, maybe I never knew at all. I was usually functional, but I only found any worth by being useful and being what I thought people wanted me to be. Any strong sensation was too dangerous in my youth, so that became the default. But lately, even before starting Estrogen but even more so after, I am finally letting myself feel. And on that night as I was overwhelmed by this true expression.

I wept like a child. It is hard for me to believe that that much has change. I couple months ago I don't think I could have even written such flowery nonsense, but now here I am crying at the drop of a hat, even as I just write about it. Sometimes, I think it would be better to go back to feeling nothing, but most of the time I feel like I have become a person and grown a soul. I realize it is more of an unearthing than a creation, but here it is.

Not long ago, it felt impossible that I could change. I felt like it was too late to even consider, when I even allowed myself to think about it at all. I always knew. I knew it wasn't normal to feel a twinge of pain when passing by some pretty clothes for sale. I was used to looking in the mirror and my mind pouring out my ears, leaving only gray static. Even still, I guess it was unsustainable.

I got a real job for the first time after a long and drawn-out scholastic career. I work with some really lovely people and I suppose this is my first time being in what feels like some sort of community. I work with mostly women and the two guys are queer adjacent communists, so in retrospect it's not such a shock this is where it all happened. I felt a familiar twinge that wouldn't go away because I loved these people but I they were only taking to my soul-cage meat-puppet and I was nowhere to be found.

I still couldn't acknowledge it, but my heart set out to boiled-frog myself and everyone around me. I started playing with how I dressed and maybe a bit of eyeliner here and there. Maybe I would be OK if I was just a bit nonconforming. Or maybe I just hated my body for the normal reasons, but I lost 50 pounds now that I wasn't stagnant and it didn't help at all.

One day I was so bold as to wear this floral dress with bell sleeves and one of my coworkers, an older Vietnamese woman, said I looked pretty. I said "Oh haha, thank you". So she gave my this stern but gentle look that froze time and space and said "No, you look pretty". She didn't really have the language to talk about these things but she was telling me that she sees me. Later that day, I caught my reflection and it it hit me all at once.

It's me, I see myself. And not in the abstract, intellectual way I usually saw myself as a diagram of some creature that was supposed to be me, but it's me, a person. A spark of the divine. I couldn't stop smiling and I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't remember the last time I felt like that. But then I could.

I remembered all the feeling I stowed away for my safety. I remembered trying on my sister's and mother's clothes. I remembered playing with Hamtaro toys with my sister, never relating to the boys playing cops and robbers. I remembered the awful things my relatives said about people like me and somehow knowing it terrified me. I remember going online and "pretending" to be a girl, the first person who made me feel pretty a groomer. I remember my high school sweetheart, and playfully telling them I wish I was a girl. I'm 28 now and somehow we are still together after all this. He told me I tried going by she/her in high school but I don't remember that, maybe I blocked it out like so much of the rest. I told myself in plain words, not even subconsciously, that it would be easier to be miserable than deal with the discomfort and disapproval of coming out.

It took so long but here I am, 2 months on the other side and things already feel so different. Everyone at work calls me Jenny, they get the pronouns right more often then not. I got a sealed name change court order, new ID with gender marker, birth certificate, debit card, insurance card. That was all so fast (God Bless Washington State). It is still hard but some days I just feel like a girl. I went to one of my supervisors, and older Filipino man, to ask a question and he said "Yes, my dear?" without even looking up from what he was doing and it was just nice. The girls at work maybe lay it on a bit thick with the compliments but I guess they know I need it. Otherwise they talk to me about their boyfriends, periods and sex like it's totally normal.

I know I live in a "progressive" area, but somehow I still didn't feel I could be accepted. I'm a clerk, in my department I work mostly with older immigrant women, I was unfair to them because religion was always used as a weapon against me in my family. They all accept me, they all refuse to think that a good god would hate someone like me or think I should be any other way. When I came out, a lot of them said things like they already saw me that way or they see how much happier I look when I dress up.

The other day we got a new worker, the first since I started my transition publicly/medically. I said to my friend how I was excited for someone to be that didn't know my whole tragic backstory. She said "but she wont get to see your transformation!"

"I still have a long way to go and 'get to' is one way to put it, if I could I would delete the old me from everyone's memory"

"I wouldn't! That person is the person who gave us you, with your personality that I love so much"

How could she just say something like that? How is it so easy for people to see me when it's so hard for me to see myself most of the time? It's still hard for me to see myself as a genuine woman, I don't think I have just said plainly out loud that I am a woman. I needed to go to that concert. It's still hard not to be a hypocrite but every gorgeous girl in that room was so undeniably feminine and beautiful it felt like being blinded by the sun. I could bask in the glow of the tallest, clockiest woman there for hours, and that gives me hope I will be able to let go of my backward feelings soon.

Trans women are women in the same way the sun is a star. They are the same, but the sun means something so different and important to me.

Also, Stomach Book, Saoirse Dream, Rural Internet, Sixwing, Floral Tattoo...they were all really good and it was nice seeing trans and queer people in the spotlight.

[The outfit I wore today, feeling a bit more comfortable being clocky and not trying so hard]

[warriorheart13-blog]

Birthday prompt!

This one is for our girlie Ace

19. "This is our home." 

This little diva has his home right in our hearts. And his home is where you are. His family, his crew all at home with you

So this one was a little bit on the short side but i think it still delivers! Gn reader, slight feminine terms but overall gn!

Portgas D Ace x Reader: Secure Hearts

"This is our Home."

Lost at sea, was not where Ace wanted to be. He never felt too comfortable in one place too long. But the Spade Pirates were people he could trust to have his back. Masked Deuce and (y/n) were the people he knew wouldnt betray him in the cruel world.

But somehow he got seperated from everyone. And was on this island. Alone. Or so he thought. He saw you, unconscious and bleeding from your head. You must have gotten washed ashore in the storm.

He ran over, taking off his yellow shirt and wrapped in around your head. You stirred at the touch. "A-Ace...?"you said groggy.

"Hey there gorgeous. Youre ok, some small bleeding on your head. The crew will look for us."

You nodded gently as Ace gently pulled you into his arms. It seemed peaceful. Hours later after the crew had found you two and Deuce treated you, you laid in bed unable to sleep.

You heard a small knock and you acknowledged them. It was Ace.

"Hey i was wondering if we could talk. I need to get things off my chest."

You nodded at him.

"Ok so....im in love with you...and i normally am not trusting of people but this crew? This ship? This is our home and it wouldnt be complete without you."

"Ace, i love you as well. This place doesn't feel the same without you steering us to the future."

He laid down next to you and pulled you close. "Get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow. I love you so much."

"Ok, can't wait to start the future with you."

--------------------'

Taglist: @fanaticsnail

[sidsinning]

OK VIEWERS OF YUMEIRO PATISSIERE

DID ANY OF YOU FIND THE FINAL COMPETITION A BIT UNFAIR OR WAS THAT JUST ME

Ichigo basically knew the specific tastes of every judge so she flavored everyone's dessert differently (some more sweet, some less, etc.), while the other team made the same dessert for every judge to try

So she won by 1 point for going the extra mile and the other team was called arrogant for not changing their already perfect dessert at all

And I get the point he is making about innovation and putting love into your cooking

But like

IS THAT FAIR FOR A COOKING COMPETITION

IDK LIKE CATERING YOUR FINAL DESSERT TO THE JUDGES SPECIFIC PALATES

IS THAT NORMAL IN A COOKING COMPETITION TO WIN LIKE

WAS THAT WRITTEN ANYWHERE IN THE GOAL OF WINNING THE GRAND PRIX

HOW WAS THE OTHER TEAM SUPPOSED TO KNOW THEY COULD DO THAT IS WHY IM ASKING

BC THEY WOULD'VE TIED IF SHE DIDNT DO THAT

Was there something specific about this competition that I am misremembering so this makes more sense??? IDK

TELL ME IF YOU HAVE THOUGHTS

[graciegoeskrazy]

just tell me what’s unladylike

(ross macdonald x maise macdonald)

ofc but can be read as r!

warnings: she drunk asf, mentions of smoking and drugs, bit of angst but not really just sass

a/n: i have no excuses anymore like— thx friend for requesting!!! and ty @writeslikeabitch for educating me for my lack of drinking knowledge!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️I REALLY CANT TELL IF THIS IS GOOD OR NOT OR IF I LIKE IT OR NOT SO PLEASE BE GENTLE IM WORKING ON IT GUYS I SWEAR🗣️🗣️🗣️

Your nights don't normally end like this – sneaking back into your London home at almost four in the morning with a headache that made every step you took feel like an earthquake in your ears and your head. You weren’t the drunken type. In fact it takes a full week of your friends begging and pleading for you to even consider going out. You preferred a night in. Selfcare, a nonsense-netflix show, and some sort of sweet treat sounded way better than dressing up in the tightest outfit you have (which your father would definitely not approve of) and getting drunk with a group of teenage girls and boys who can’t hold their liquor or just want a shot of getting in your pants.

This weekend though, you decided to ‘get off your ass’ and actually go to a house party hosted by a boy in your class. His parents were out of town, so naturally a party was to be had. Full of alcohol that the one of the few juniors with a fake ID bought, and the faint smell of weed coming from one of the senior girls.

The night had dragged on longer than you had intended. Your father was always a laid back type. He was never one for a strict curfew or restrictions on your phone because he never needed to worry. He trusted you, and up until now you had made every right, smart decision.

Key words: up until now.

Ross had been looking at your location every 10 minutes for the past hour. He would see the little dot move ever so slightly every once in a while and the ‘active’ button glowing bright green so he knew you were still out and ok as far as he was concerned. But you had never stayed out this late. You had told him “No later than 1 AM for sure” and he let those words replay in his head over and over. He wasn’t entirely sure how to feel. Calm or Mad. But worried was a feeling he couldn’t shake and probably never will when it comes to you.

The living room was dark. The TV quietly played a show Ross was watching but was now long forgotten. The only thing making any real noise was the ceiling fan and his bouncing leg he didn’t realise was moving as he sat and contemplated in the big red chair in the corner.

The sound of keys shaking then hitting the ground followed by a quiet “Shit.” brought him out of his daze. He stood, moving closer to the front door and leaning against it.

You continued to struggle but eventually got the door open. You slammed it louder than you meant to which did nothing for your evergrowing headache-soon-to-be-hangover. You not so gracefully slipped off your kitten heels, groaning at the new feeling of blisters they left behind.

Your father continued watching from the door. Pissed. Slightly amused.

“Maise Eloise.” He said, finally, voice echoing through your small home.

Your head whipped towards him, alamermed. “Hey.” You said less than casually. Not moving.

He didn’t move but tried his best not to laugh as he got a better look at your state. “Big night?” He asked.

“Nah.” You stated. His eyebrows raised. You stilled in awkward silence, trying to find the best way out of this. Bluntly saying, “Goodnight” and trying to run up the stairs was the best you could come up with.

“Ah-ah. Not so fast.” He said, rounding to the stairs and grabbing your arm to gently bring you back down.

“Daaaaad.” You whined.

He sighed, “Maise-”

“I didn’t even do anything!”

“You're drunk and reek of alcohol.”

“No I’m nottttt.” You said, pouting like you were five again. Your father wasn’t having it though.

“Maise. Living room. Now.”

You whined again, this time making it hard for your father not to smile.

He followed behind as you flopped onto the couch with a groan. He sat down leaving only a little space in between the two of you.

You stayed quiet, lips pouted and eyes staring wide and blankly at the ceiling as if it could talk. “Care to explain?” He said.

“Party. I told you.”

He hummed. “Doesn’t explain why you're drunk off your tail.”

“Why are you so loud?” You said, wincing.

“I’m not. I’m actually speaking very normally.” He said, You just groaned, flipping over on your side. “What’d you drink, Mase?”

You were quiet for a moment, contemplating. “‘Couple of shots…seltzers. A vodka diet coke or two.” He sighed, at your choice or drink or actions, you couldn’t tell.

“Smoking?” he asked.

“No.”

“Any drugs?”

“No.” You answered, too quickly for his liking.

“Maise-“

“I said no.” You glared at him.

He put his hands up in defence. “I’m just making sure.”

“Because you don’t believe me?”

“No, I just want to know what I’m dealing with.”

You scoffed. “Yeah, because you’re the expert.”

“Maise- No, I am not. I just-”

“Oh, of course. Because you were such an angel when you were my age.” You crossed your arms and turned into the couch, drawing your knees to your chest and attempting to hide your face.

Your dad knew you didn’t mean it – just the alcohol talking. Still, he knew you were right.

He moved closer to you and rested a hand on your leg. When he didn’t see you flinch away he began rubbing soothing circles on your knee.

“Are you mad?” You said, after about a minute.

“No.” He said. “Although I think I should be.”

You made a noise.

“I just want you to be safe.” He said, trying to coax you out of your cocoon. “I’m not mad, Maise.”

“I didn’t mean to stay out so late.” You finally said

“I know.”

“It got…messey. Not in a bad way, I swear. It’s just we all got carried away, and next thing I know it was three am and I panicked.”

He nodded.

“Madeline drove me home, and she was sober the whole time I swear. She’s Catholic or something and she doesn’t drink–” You said suddenly sitting up with urgency, trying to get your safety point across.

“Maise–”

“Nothing else happened. I just—”

“I believe you.” He said, gently but firmly putting his hands on your shoulders and bringing you closer to him, looking you in the eyes.

You paused for a beat. Then, “I’m sorry.”

He sighed then opened his arms. “I know, Bug.” You didn’t hesitate to lean into him, bringing your legs back to your chest and resting your head on his. “I can handle the drinking, I can handle you trying things. You’re right, heaven knows I was no angel either.” You smiled. So did he. “But I can’t handle not knowing if you’re alright.”

You didn’t move. He continued the coaxing circles on your back. “I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

“You didn’t disappoint me— you scared me.” He brushed a stray hair out of your eye, prompting you to look at him. “It’ll be okay, just, next time call me. Text me. Let me be your dad.”

“Okay.” You nodded.

“Okay.” He said with a faded breath at the end.

It got quiet. Dead of night. He would bet the only thing awake for blocks was the two of you. Even the usual chirping outside was quieter and normal tonight. The only thing constant was your dads heartbeat in your ear. Steady. Strong.

Like he is and always has been.

He spoke. “Vodka diet coke, seriously?”

“I got tired of the Trulys?”

[atangledfate]

Was he really being lectured by some old codger who just hit a kid with a bus? Like man how many times does he need to save the planet to get a little respect! Even if that old codger was right Sonic was never gonna let him know that! Course Kit as so single minded he wasn't even thinking about if the old guy was ok--- though he seemed to be and that was good at least.

" Yea, well as part of the Heroes Union i get certain perks of the trade--- and being reckless is one of the many perks. So let's just all agree you should drive safer next time..."

He sighed at Kit but he couldn't disagree with him as he placed his hands on his hips. Well at least he wasn't running off to fight GUN to save Surge ... he'd call that a win.

" Sure thing pops, i'll give you a lift... best not to keep the Kid waiting..."

==============================================

Jewel would honestly have loved to have had Blaze to teach her what she knew about leadership. She might be great at paperwork but there was alot more to it then just that. She'd been learning everything on her own, or in those rare moments that Amy was around she offered her own wisdom. but it wasn't the same as having a real mentor or a teacher to help you along the war. But deep down she still wasn't sure she was cut out to be a leader...

But once he Pangolin entered the building Jewel put on her game face, a smile was a great way to hide your worries! She buzzed her way over to the Gun Lawyer and motioned for him to follow her to a desk she'd cleared off just for this meeting. It was still a hectic mess here after the attack and then the blockade. So she worked with what she had.

" As the Princess says, let us sit down and begin talks and go over the paperwork. It is my hope to resolve things peacefully... so we can all get back to our normal duties! "

The Pangolin gave Blaze a fearful gaze and swallowed hard! he was no soldier and they didn't pay him enough to deal with this crap! Jewel was calm enough but that princess gave him the willies! He adjusted his tie and smiled at the princess as best he could though he was clearly nervous! but coughed and kept up appearances for the sake of his profession!

" I am not here to take sides Princess, i'm just a legal representative... I'll insure that everything i signed as it needs to be, and explain any legal jargon that needs to be explained. What ever legal issues you have with GUN is between you and them... i'm not here to judge. "

He stated firmly as he took a seat and opened his brief case and pulled out the large stack of papers.

" Well, there is alot to go over! lets gets started shall we! "

===========================================

Miles had no doubts in Belle's skill or abilities concerning her belle bot or her goals. She was talented, skilled and had an ingenuity that was befitting of in his mind the daughter of Tinker. She was already showing her desire to branch out find her own place in this wild and crazy world. It made him smile abit as it reminded him in a way of himself when he was younger.

" Ah yea the motobug... that guy's kind of been a loyal follower of yours huh? we should probably give them a name you know. Calling them motobug is like calling me fox... sounds weird. "

he suggested with a softer smile

" From what i've seen of your belle bot... its nothing to sneeze at. Still don't forget that you have friends you know? Tangle really took a liking to you... and i think most of the diamond cutters to... don't forget we are all here for you ... when ever you need "

Though when she mentioned seeing Eggman for lunch his facial features hardened. He didn't trust him, not even in this. He knew the man just well enough to believe he was always up to something and this just stank of bad mojo! but, he could sympathize with her desire to reconnect with her father. He always wished he'd known his and knew if he ever got that opportunity... he'd jump at it even if he was an awful person.

" ... You know i don't trust him... even in this i don't. But i know why you do, and why you won't stop going back no matter what i say. Just be careful ok? he's dangerous no matter what he says... i just don't want you to get hurt you know? or worse... "

"Hey, I ain't go nothing personal against ya, just calling ya out for getting on to be bout being reckless," Silas said having no real issue with Sonic, except maybe not actually finishing off Eggman, though that's been proven a harder task then one might think so can't hold that too much against the hedgehog. "Besides, most people aren't casually walking in the middle of the road and stick to the sides."

"As enlightening as this conversation has been, we have something else to do so we'll be going. I got a village to be lead to. It's what Surge wanted and Sonic has the directions so we're leaving." Kitsunami was now convinced that this village could hold answer's for him as well as Surge so best get there asap. Which meant chitchat had to be cut short.

"Yeah, that's where I came from. It's a few miles that way," Silas said, pointing behind him with his thumb. "And not to be a bother, but ya kinda wrecked my ride. Any chance I could get a lift from either you?" As much fun as a two hour walked sounded, he was up there in years. "Hope Kyle won't be too ticked the bus got scrapped. Only meant to borrow the thing."

===========================================================

"Truthfully I have grown rather bored now that I've explored most of what Mobius has to offer, several times over. Sol has far more ocean than Mobius, so I can't easily traverse it. Here, I can zip around the land several time's over in only a few days time so I ran out of things to do quickly." Blaze supposed she could've slowed down, though it wasn't often she got to stretch her legs so much. Running on water came with far too many risks. "So I wouldn't mind mentoring you and allowing you to take a moment to breathe"

Blaze's whole demeanor and expression hardened almost immediately upon her attention being brought to the G.U.N lawyer, easily dawning her professional side as she took a seat. "That is my hope to, provided you don't attempt to add more than what was agreed upon and don't attempt to have us change our mind. Please, seat." The princess spoke sternly, voice completely calm and perhaps even a bit icy as she stared down the lawyer.

===========================================================

"I'll still have Motobud with me, and I do intend to help any Badnik Eggman has left behind. I doubt G.U.N will be happy about that, though as long as I don't use them to do harm they can't do much." Belle has most perfected her Anti-Eggman Net signal, though the only problem she had was mass broadcast. Even then she was sure Eggman would swiftly adjust to get around it. Best keep it condensed until she reach's a point where Eggman can't do that.

"I still have some kinks to work out. Mainly with the extendo joints locking up doing certain actions. Though that's about the main issue, other than a few small programs to patch up and update." Belle was sure it wouldn't be too long before Belle-Bot was fully combat ready, though even then she only intends to use it against Metal Sonic, or in extreme emergencies. Here's hoping it can withstand whatever is thrown at it down the road.

"I guess if we have a moment to ourselves I suppose I can let you in on what I talked to Sonic privately about. I just didn't want to worry everyone else. I've been seeing Eggman for lunch every now and then. I'm kinda holding out home my father is still in there, a little bit at least. Though Eggman also seems to have some form of soft spot for me. Not sure if that's also because of Mr. Tinker or if Eggman is more complex than he let's on."

[thethirdromana]

A quick guide to influencing British MPs

There's a lot of UK politics stuff coming up on my tumblr at the moment: our terrible anti-trans government, our also terrible Online Safety Act, etc.

I don't normally talk about politics much here, but I do some political activism in my offline life, and I thought it might be useful to write something about how to have maximum influence if you're trying to make your MP act on something you care about.

What to say The best messages are specific, personal, and concise. If you can talk about the consequences (or potential consequences) of the policy you're concerned about, so much the better.

Fine: "I'm getting in touch because your party's policies are having a very negative effect on trans people."

Better: "My trans friends are living in fear because of the actions of this government."

Best: "I have had to quit my job because there are only single-sex toilets available and I will be in danger if I out myself."

(god I hate using this example. It is so awful that this is what's happening in this country right now)

Obviously you won't always have a personal story. That's OK too! This is not about making the perfect the enemy of the good. Many MPs will keep track of the raw numbers of enquiries they get about a particular topic, so anything you do adds to those. But the personal messages stand out.

You should include your address, or at least your postcode, so that they know you're a constituent.

How to say it You can typically contact an MP:

At face-to-face surgeries (not all MPs offer these)

At online surgeries (ditto)

By phone

By emails that you send individually

By emails that you send through a dedicated campaigning site

Through petitions

I've listed those from most impactful to least impactful, which also lines up with most to least effort. The things at the bottom of the list are still good and worth doing. Note that if you phone or email, your query will probably be answered by your MP's staff, not the MP themselves.

Via social media is also an option, but MPs get a lot of random abuse through social media, so many just ignore it.

Even if you think your MP massively sucks, don't add to the abuse; it won't help, and will probably just make them ignore your message. "I am disappointed that you/your party have done X" is a reasonable way to start.

You don't need to worry too much about having perfect spelling and grammar as long as your message is comprehensible.

Who to say it to Your MP, regardless of party or anything else. You do not have to vote for them, or having any intention of voting for them in future. It is also very much worth doing this if you know they already agree with you. "Thank you for all your work on this issue, I think you're doing an amazing job and I'm very grateful" is not a message that MPs receive very often and it will have an impact.

Remember that even when an MP agrees with you, they have to prioritise their time. Hearing from a lot of people that their work on a topic is appreciated is likely to push it up their priority list.

You can also get in touch with other elected representatives: MSPs in Scotland, MSs in Wales, mayors, local councillors, etc etc, and the process is much the same. Ideally you would send your query to the person at the right level to deal with it, but people get this wrong all the time and hopefully they should just just tell you who you should be contacting instead.

Generally, MPs are only supposed to pursue issues raised by their own constituents, so you should contact your own MP, not other MPs. You can check who your MP is here. I would treat thank you messages as an exception because MPs will be pleased to hear someone feels they're doing a great job, even if that person isn't a constituent.

[meloodyxx]

THAT GRIAN AND GEM CONVO ISTG

grian: "should i just steal the watcher sign" gem: "thats insane. thats insane." grian: "just-" gem: "this is insane. this is diabolical" grian: "They'll never know" (the capital T is for context) gem: "this is diabol- jimmy is literally watching you." grian: "they're never gonna know" gem: "They're literally Watchi-" (IM DELUSIONAL GUYS BUT IM ALSO PRETTY SURE THAT SHE MEANT A CAPITAL W Watching AND NOT A NORMAL watching) grian: "if we're villains, let's do it properly" (sir excuse me what do you meann by that. you do know who you're rebeling against, right??)

not only is grian ACKNOWLEDGING IT, both gem and etho are showing signs of knowing things about it. which scares me btw. what are they up to. what is even happening at this point. why am i still writing this. ok ill stop now.

I LIED I HAVE ONE MORE THING TO SAY: GEM CUT ALL OF THAT OUT FROM HER POV

chat the most important thing ever got cut from gem and pearl's povs (and idk about etho im watching him next)

in grian's pov; etho at one point *ASKS PEARL POINT BLANK "ARE YOU A WATCHER"*

like he said it about her saying she diddnt want to actively play in king of the ladder; but im autistic and i love fanfics where bolth the skyblings are watchery

like; there are already so many watcher hints this season; and then etho just went out and asked her im gonna go insane over this

[tazzymcclazzy]

this isn't finished at all but i know that heart got banished by soul somewhere right? so this is that except the only chonny jash lore i know is from you

HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW IM THE NORMALEST PERSON EVER. DID YOU KNOW THAT? HOW NORMAL I AM? AND HETEROSEXUAL, THAT TOO. IM SO N