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bonzos-number-1-fan · 1 year ago

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What DPHW Means, and Its Relationship to Smirke's 14

The following contains spoilers for all of TMA, TMP (eps 1, 2, and 3 released currently if you’re in the future), and the ARG. Spoilers for all of this are throughout so I would advise against reading any of this unless you've listened to everything mentioned. It could also spoil episodes of TMP that have yet to release but if it does I don't think it will be a major spoiler. If I'm right I think I'm only right about a fairly trivial piece of information.

Theory of Fears; or, Zur Furchtlehre

Part 1: Opticks

Smirke's 14 isn't the truth. With or without Dekker's +1. It is, however, necessary and correct. It has also been talked about ad nauseam and isn't a topic I want to dedicate a lot of time to. Smirke's 14+1, or even TMA in general, isn't the focus of this theory nor is it that relevant past its necessity as a point of comparison.

There aren't 14+1 distinct entities in the TMA cosmology. There is a singular entity that has been given divisions by fear and labels by those that have witnessed it. There is no objective line in which to draw these divisions. No matter where you put them or what you name them these concepts will always bleed into each other. Aspects of one Entity will manifest in another because the labels are invented and Fear is a storm of concepts crashing into each other. That's not a flaw in Smirke's list but its strength. A single entity of that scale is impossible to discuss in meaningful terms, the concept has too much gravity to be properly conceptualised and so an entire spectrum of fear must be divided in order to combat it. Categorisation is a vital part of TMA's cosmology and Smirke was as correct as anyone to put those lines down where he did. The real flaw with Smirke's list is forgetting the spectrum exists and stopping seeing the shades in between the Powers.

Finding a way to categorise this concept is important, but the methodology isn't. Smirke's 14 isn't the truth. The only truth is there is a singular whole. But branding goes a long way both in terms of research and in terms of following. This branding lacks accuracy though, it is in large part arbitrary and by its nature removes the shades and the bleed. TMP takes a different approach, one only hinted at, but one that I think is now fully explainable.

Part 2: Lost in Translation

Perhaps the most interesting mystery in TMP thus far is DPHW. However, I think based on episodes 1 and 2 of TMP (and now 3), and the Klaus excel sheet from the ARG, we have all we need to explain its utility.

In order to show that conclusion in a satisfactory manner some basic facts need stating, and the order of my thoughts on those facts needs explaining. Firstly, each DPHW is 4 digits. Secondly, each DPHW is read as 4 numbers rather than, say, a pair of 2 numbers. Thirdly, these numbers can change independently of each other. Fourthly, incidents may share CAT#R#'s but have a different DHPW as found in the Klaus sheet (a German document listing OIAR-style incident reports). Finally, the German equivalent of DPHW is TSHU also found in the Klaus sheet. We can use those facts to determine something important. Each letter of this initialism is paired with a digit meaning that DHPW is a group of 4 categories. If that is true we can intuit some of its meaning. It is likely that these numbers are a rating of sorts for each category there. To prove that's the case we would need to know the categories and fortunately we have a starting point to understanding it, German.

If the categories that DPHW describes start with the letters TSHU in German then what needs to be done to find the categories is quite simple. You pair each letter up and then find a suitable word to categorise the supernatural whose first letter starts with the respective letter from the initialism in its language. D/T, P/S, H,H, W/U. After some brainstorming in the Statement Remains PLUS Discord server we had come up with strong candidates for 3 of the 4 pairs.

The first was Deadly/Tötlich, a seemingly solid start that gave this theory some legs. Next was Painful/Schmerzlich which was a distinct enough category for the threat of an incident that proved this was a strong direction to head it. H/H proved more troublesome. To my mind the two strongest contenders here were Hypnotic/Hypnotisch or Helpless/Hilflos. Both sound very reasonable but that in itself is a problem. However the last one was found relatively easily as Weird/Unheimlich. With 3 of the 4 it seemed like this was all but correct at this stage. However, I had been thinking about this backwards and it wasn't until I had a revelation that the pieces really fell into place.

Unheimlich sounded familiar when it was suggested but not in a way I could place. It wasn't until the next day that the aforementioned revelation happened. The ARG had a huge focus on Germany, and Ep 1 of TMP revealed why. FR3-D1 uses German source code which makes German the original language for the OIAR's methodology. Meaning DPHW is the translation, and I now think it's a shoddy one at best. The reason unheimlich sounded so familiar to me is because it's a fairly important part of psychology's history.

DPHW's Weird isn't weird, DPHW's Weird is uncanny. A direct translation could give you weird but a more accurate one, especially in this instance, gives you unheimlich. Unheimlich as in Jentsch's "Zur Psychologie des Unheimlichen", and Freud's "Das Unheimlich". Both of which are essays on the uncanny. It's all about the fear of the unfamiliar, and a central example of this is Olympia from Der Sandmann, a seemingly living doll.

The German word unheimlich is obviously the opposite of heimlich, heimisch, meaning “familiar,” “native,” “belonging to the home”; and we are tempted to conclude that what is “uncanny” is frightening precisely because it is not known and familiar... - Freud, The Uncanny

This is incredibly relevant to a lot of what has been discovered so far. The uncanny as a topic in psychology was kickstarted by two Germans, and a central part of their essays was the German Der Sandmann, and a German, SSandman, was a large presence in the ARG. The strength of this connection all but solidified this theory in my mind. And, briefly, this is also related to Masahiro Mori's uncanny valley hypothesis which I'm sure I won't need to explain.

The obvious way to test this is to take the few W ratings we have been given and compare them to the incident to which they're assigned. The first is from Ep 1, “dolls comma watching”, and was given a 7. This is a good start both in that a 7 feels appropriate as an "uncanny rank" but also that a doll is a focal point on the essays on the subject. Also in Ep 1 is "Reanimation (Partial)", again with a 7. Another very appropriate number. The last in Ep 1 is "Transformation (eyes)" with a 5. Certainly less uncanny than the previous examples so this is still strong. In Ep 2 we get a 5 for Bram Stoker's Dracula, which seems more than fair for a strange man like him, and a 7 for Frankenstein which gives parity for another story of the resurrected dead. Finally we get "Transformation (full)" at a 7, more uncanny than "Transformation (eyes)" which tracks nicely.

With what I felt was such a strong theory for the W/U pairing it helped clarify the ideas of the others. The final digit rating the uncanniness of an incident gives an idea of how these categories work and the breadth of their definitions. Up until this point I was leaning towards Hypnotic/Hypnotisch for our H/H pairing. But giving it more thought, and comparing it to TMA's own groupings, it becomes apparent that Helpless/Hilflos is more appropriate. Hypnotic effects are too aligned with things that would already be very aligned with Uncanny ones, the Stranger's Not!Them alter memories and prey on the fear of something being not quite right, so as a categorisation tool I think it makes less sense because of the greater overlap. Helpless on the other hand works better for things like The Dark, The Buried, or The Lonely. Aspects which I don't think show up in our current other 3 groups. But given the current definition of the strongest category, the fear of the uncanny, I think that helplessness is a more apt label. The fear of helplessness. Which makes H Helplessness/Hilflosigkeit.

With this level of breadth established re-examination of the final two categories is warranted. Painful/Schmerzlich is more likely to be Pain/Schmerz. Not just incidents that are themselves painful but the fear of pain, possibly including the emotional. A comparison to TMA gives this rating a strong affiliation with Entities such as The Desolation, The Corruption, or the Flesh. Similarly Deadly/Tötlich should now be broadened beyond the fear of things that will kill you, to the fear of death in a broader sense. Which makes D/T Death/Tod instead. To compare again to TMA this is The End, The Extinction, or The Slaughter. Although, while I might be describing these ideas as the fear of ____ I think it's important to know that they do appear to be more conceptual in nature rather than just if something is scary or not.

Comparing each of these assumed categories against current DPHW’s strengthens this argument. “Dolls, watching” scored 1157. It’s a very low fear of death and pain, but they present a medium fear of helplessness and a high fear of the weird. For a fear that’s rooted in paranoia that makes good sense. “Reanimation (Partial)” got a very similar rating, at 5257, but it being a corpse cranks up its fear of death. “Transformation (eyes)” got 2155 which, again, seems to fall in place with what we know. It’s more human than the doll is so it’s less weird but a physical and alarming transformation naturally seems like more of a terminal concern. Combine that with some good ol' internet death threats and it's not nothing, but not much.

As a small aside, while it's not come up in the episodes so far the Klaus sheet shows DPHW's are 0-9. There is a good bit of evidence to suggest 0 might be read as 10 here. 0 most commonly showed up in that sheet for P and the incidents often had the notes "Kriegsvolk". Literally "war people" but more accurately "army/soldier". So pain of 10 for those would track better than P of 0, and it explains why things like the watching doll rate a 1 for D and P instead of a 0, and Dr. Webber's infection is a P of 1 despite entirely removing physical and emotional pain as it goes. Because 1 is the lowest.

For Ep 2 we start with Dracula scoring a 7465, he’s undead and a killer for high death, if he kills you it hurts but it’s not extreme, he’s both hard to physically stop and has mental tricks, and he’s just a weird dude in general who always seems off somehow. Frankenstein at 5337 has aforementioned parity with the reanimation incident as you’d expect but notably less on the helplessness rating as he is just a man. Next is “Transformation (full)” at 1567. This is generally a more severe rating overall than Transformation (eyes) and you’d expect that, but I think it does show something interesting. At no point did Daria want to end her own life. The transformation is far more severe, arguably looks more life threatening, and was clearly more painful but it is explicitly and repeatedly not about dying. I take that as a suggestion that these ratings take into account more than just the mundanely observable nature of the incident. She looks very sick which would make you think of death but it rates low for it because of the emotional, or maybe supernatural, purpose of the incident. She didn’t want to die, the manifestation didn’t try to kill her, and so despite its appearance it’s low on death.

Then finally in Ep 3, we have "Infection (full body)" with a 8175. (Although I'm assuming that's a misfile and it should be Infection (Arboreal)). I think D and H here are more interesting to dig into. P is pretty obvious it's the lowest rating because it seemed actively pain-numbing as it went. W being 5 tracks too is certainly uncanny and has strange geometry but it's not full Distortion levels. So with those two out of the way we can get to the good stuff. D is the most interesting of the two to me. Because while it's pretty clear he died I don't think that's got much to do with it. Rather I think the 8 is more specifically about the way it deals with death, decay, and rot in relation to new life and the growth of other things, plants and insects. Thematically, I think there is a lot more emphasis on death as a broader concept beyond the terminal nature of the infection. For Helplessness there is also an additional element beyond whether or not he was able to do something about the infection, and that's whether he wanted to. As the symptoms worsened his desire to treat them decreased. Initially he was worried about the infection and determined to seek attention when able, then he was happy to let someone else help instead (a hallucination, which makes things more helpless), before finally wanting it to happen. These sorts of elements are things I think we're going to see factor in quite a lot.

In summary; it is my belief that DPHW is a way to rate incidents that the OIAR catalogue based upon the strength of the fear they elicit in the categories of death, pain, helplessness, and weird (uncanny). This system is effectively the TMP equivalent to Smirke's 14 from TMA. Rather than assigning each statement to an Entity each incident is rated for those qualities. These systems are distinct methodologies but each is a way to categorise the supernatural.

Part 3: On Analogy

That is the juicy bit of this post out of the way so now I have to put a bow on it and touch upon the overarching analogy here. As alluded to by the title and some turns of phrase, it's colour theory. It's a somewhat common analogy for TMA's fears but I think it applies in equal measure to TMP and taken together might provide an insight into how the cosmologies will differ. So, to me, colour theory is not only the perfect lens in which to view the Fears as a whole, it's the perfect lens to view these methodologies.

Smirke is Newton. He broke up a singular spectrum into wide chunks. The Dread Powers themselves are very analogous to a colour wheel. Colours bleed into each other and the boundaries of where one stops and starts is up for debate but red is still red, and blue is blue. That is a useful context for them, it aids discussion. Try talking about red without ever saying red and only referring to a representation of a divided whole. But all too similar to Newton's 7 colours Smirke's 14 lacks nuance, it lacks shade.

On the other hand we have DPHW and this is all shade. DPHW is CMYK. It's not one thing or another with DPHW. You don't have the pitfall of Smirke's methodology where one manifestation is in one arbitrary box. Here, assuming I'm correct, each incident is made up of constituent parts. The OIAR, and presumably its German forebear, are less interested in Smirke's occult ancient gods and more interested in bureaucratic precision. Smirke was doing research while the OIAR are doing administration. As such DPHW takes a wholly different approach. It's now all shades. This has its own problems in that it's harder to discuss in broad terms. It's such a specific methodology that it's lost a lot of what Smirke triumphed with. This is well represented already given that no one has been shown to know what it means at all yet. But if there is a truly different cosmology at play here we might see the axes of DPHW being where alliances fall.

All that leaves us with is a comparison of these two. The only way to really do that is to talk about how Smirke's 14+1 would fit in DPHW's system. This is something I touched upon briefly. Death is strongly related to The End, The Extinction, or The Slaughter. Pain to The Desolation, The Corruption, or the Flesh. Helplessness to The Dark, The Buried, or The Lonely. Weird to the Stranger, or the Spiral. But that's not all of them and even within those it's already clear that something like The Vast isn't just about helplessness, and we've already seen Daria who would likely be an avatar of the Flesh rank highly in Weird. Which hits upon what I feel is the most interesting aspect of this entire theory. We've seen what happens with Smirke's boundaries on the Entities. We don't know if Entities even exist in this setting, or if they do exist whether they'll be the same ones, or even if they're not the same ones whether they'll function under similar rules. But now we get to see what happens when there aren't those boundaries. We get to see much broader mingling than TMA showcased. It was hinted at there, especially early on before the lore really settled, but now that mingling seems to be the whole point.

And as a brief mention, and to further labour the theme, I don’t think there is enough information to really discuss how CAT#R# works but there are some analogies to work with here. From the Klaus sheet we can infer that CAT# has the following values 1/2/3/12/13/23/123. Or three non-mutually exclusive groups. What those groups are is hard to say right now. There is some soul/body/spirit stuff for the alchemic tria prima that's got some nice connections but doesn't map well now that Ep 3 is out. Either way, this is RGB. An incident can be all red, or red and blue, etc. R#'s values we can infer to be C/BC/B/AB/A/S with maybe an AS in there too. That's a linear scale of similarly unknown value but could represent something like potency/threat. If that is the case then R# is saturation. Some things are more intense than others. We also know from the Klaus sheet that CAT is the German from the "kategorie" meaning "category" the R was from the German “rang” meaning “rank” and so probably has more meaning to it than currently implied.

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #tmagp theories #tmagp theory #tmagp speculation #the magnus archives #tma theory #Reposted because I'm a human now #I was human before but Tumblr disagreed #klaus = kl4-u5

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ruby-in-bloom · 5 months ago

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Hi, please tell me how you process photos to achieve such light and shadows?

Hi stranger!

I will do my best to answer this. If you want to submit a second ask referencing a specific photo I might be able to provide you a more satisfactory answer. I can also DM with you.

1.) All my lighting tweaks occur in game with Reshade, specially with RGTI and Relight. You can find them here.

RGTI stands for Ray Tracing Global Illumination which is fancy speak for replicating how light works in the real world, stimulating shadows, reflections and refractions.

ReLight is, basically, a “lamp” or light source you can manipulate through Reshade to create better lighting in screenshots.

2.) I tweak the settings nearly every time I take a photo so it’s hard to give exact settings, because what works for one image won’t work for another.

3.) In the off chance you haven’t heard of @pixelplayground I suggest you go to her page and read her Anatomy of a Screenshot which was my, along with many other simmers, introduction to all of these tools. It’s well written and provides additional sources. I can also recommend @pictureamoebae blog which PXL also cites, and if you purchase these shaders you will have access to Marty’s discord servers and can get help from the great mods there.

Hopefully that helps - again - if you have further questions you can send me another, ask of course, or DM.

Take care! ❤️

#ts4 #sims4 #sims 4 #the sims 4 #answered asks #reshade*

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jebcc · 5 months ago

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Multigender Combination Frequency Map

I got bored, so I started playing around with numbers. I was curious, what is the most common multigender combination that exists? As a specific example, are agender men more common than non-binary women? Well thanks to the gender census 2024 data, I found that out:

PERCENTAGES:

Ordered from least to most common, the percentage of census participants that identified as:

Individuals who only identify with one umbrella: 46.28% Individuals who identify with multiple umbrellas: 43.25% Unknown: 10.46%

MAP:

This is a map (where pink = highest in frequency, and blue = lowest in frequency) that represents the order of frequency based on the values above. To help explain:

Agender Woman = #1 = very blue,

Agender Non-Binary Woman = #2 = blue

Non-Binary = #15 = very pink

Agender = #10 = both pink and blue (purple)

KEY POINTS:

For some reason, agender women don't exist (joke). I have some theories of why this is the case but it's probably a bit too political for Tumblr lol. Many individuals seem satisfactory as describing themselves as off the binary, or off the binary and slightly agender. Only 2% of queer individuals identify as just one binary gender. Essentially, multigendered-ness is very common, alongside identifying as non-binary.

DISCLAIMER:

It is not representative of the general populace, it is representative of individuals who are not solely cisgender binary (as according to the census description). For example, do not take this as "Wow, only 1.71% of the human population are just men!". Instead, take this as "Wow, only 1.71% of genderqueer individuals are just men!".

CALCULATIONS:

This is how I found these numbers.

1. I copied the raw data from gender census form. 2. I created a filter that checked for any mention of man, woman, non-binary, agender, AND their variants such as guy, enby, genderless, etc. I removed any mentions of "Not man", "non woman", etc. as these anti- terms are too ambiguous to work with for this specific research. (thank you for existing, regex) 3. I simplified these terms into just woman, man, non-binary, or agender. I realise that some individuals identify as boys and not men specifically, but for the sake of this research - we're looking at the overall gender umbrella, not the specific language used. 4. I created a count for each possible combination of these four genders. 5. I divided each count out of the total results to get the percentage.

----

P.S. Thanks to my Discord server members for helping me test out the concept with a smaller sample.

#research #chart #gender #genderqueer #lgbt #lgbtqia #nonbinary #non-binary #statistics #gendercensus #multigender #polygender

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the-sussy-imposter2 · 5 months ago

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ii am crashing out so hard please tell me about your gunky goopy guy (slime) doesn't really matter what au he could fit in so many people..........

You are so right. He is extremely edible, and thats exactly why i have two aus specifically about that happening (im using this post as an excuse to rant about my slimecicle nom aus, buckle up and strap in)

Im specifically gonna talk about an au that i havent talked about here yet, because we already kinda know about vore-ogins smp. This one, is called AWOOTS.

Yes. The name is dumb. But it specifically stands for "A Way Out of This Slimy Situation" which is the title of the fic and i find it kinda sums it up pretty well. Basically, charlie, a human peasent in a hidden medieval mountian kingdom, gets trapped away from home and forced to survive in a world where everything is out to eat him. Including the thing that saves his life.

A pack of 20 foot tall shadow wolf creatures rampage his town and take him and a few others back out into the wilderness as a later snack. Charlie manages to escape their den, but cant outrun them once they realise hes gone. In comes 70ft tall Slime to the rescue (yes theres two slimes in this au, idk why i do this with every fic but i like the dynamic they have :] also hes based off c!slime if that gives an idea of his character) and charlie is fucking terrified, for valid reasons. Slime, being the nature gaurdian he is, beats the crap out of the shadows and then goes to check on charlie (who is actively bleeding out) and of course notices his injuries. Charlie is scared, tired, and woozy from blood loss, and the last thing he sees before passing out is the back of slimes throat as he gets swallowed whole.

Next thing he knows, he wakes up on a bed of moss feeling better than he has for the last ten years of his life.

TLDR: charlie gets trapped outside his walled in kingdom and finds a giant slime who saves his life. Slime has healing abilitys, but because of the magic that's used, healing is super painful, so he uses the numbing acid in his stomach to provide anesthesia before properly healing charlie. Charlie consequently decides to stay with slime because going off on his own is a death sentence and slime literally wont let him leave on his own even if he wanted to. (He is a giant puppy who gets incredibly attached to him.) And all while this is happening, Schlatt and Ted back in the mountian kingdom believe charlie's dead, and are actively grieving him to varying amounts of success (schlatt is guilt stricken because he thinks he couldve saved charlie but no matter what he did, it wouldve ended the same way)

Anyways yeah, thats AWOOTS. By the time charlie gets back home, hes gotten accustomed to slimes show of affection (eating him and going to sleep) and so when he tries to explain to Schlatt and Ted that "yes, the giant slime monster that ate me is actually my friend" you can imagine how well they took it.

Anyways HERES SOME ART!! Slight blood warning for #5 !!!

I think the best thing about this au is that before i realised there was a nonesexual vore community, i managed to get a whole slimecicle fan server (it was mostly just the people in the art channel) invested in this story, and nobody seemed to clock that it was about vore. Like actually, there is fanart of these guys (WHICH BTW IS SO GOOD OMG) and no one even batted an eye when i explained how and why Slime ate charlie

Oh i also posted about AWOOTS on my main tumblr blog before i found nsx vore, which is why i havnt talked about it yet in case someone sees the two posts and connects the dots, but like, people took it really well, so that was nice :]

Anyways yeah. Really long post, but this au has a special place in my heart, and to summarize it in a paragraph or two wouldnt properly explain it (i literally had three hour long rant sessions explaining the events of this fic, i could- and HAVE talked for hours about it) i hope this was satisfactory for you pop 🙏

#safe vore #sfw vore #soft vore #nsx vore #mcyt vore #vore talk #tiny!slimecicle #giant!slimecicle #AWOOTS #a way out of this slimy situation #also ty for the ask!!#moot pop

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mspopstar · 11 months ago

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okay how the fuck is sectiona muchless haltmann alive?

"Hehehee! That was easy! I made a clone using genetic material I found from a collection my father had created a fail-safe measure. Used machinery to artificially speed up senescence in the zygote until he was back to his silver glory compressing sixty years into six months. To ensure any and all possible biological failures associated with the cloning process could never occur, I created some bio-mechanical implants to improve and fix some things. With that, my father was created physically. Mentally? He was a husk. Using as much data as I could find, scanning journals of his, emails, and phone calls and more I created an artificial intelligence that functions about 96.7% close to the original! My new father's existence now resides in the creation of several thousand server units in a warehouse at a undisclosed location!"

-Executive Secretary of HWC, Susana P. Haltmann

"My, now that's a query! Bringing her excellence back was no easy feat! I near lost my head in the process. The physical preparations were important, after all, without a body there's no vessel for her to even exist. I used necromancy to recreate her graces' body, or, what was left of her body. As you know, a body with no soul will decay quickly. With magics I preserved her physical elegance temporarily to use as a temporary vessel for what would become her. Next were the spiritual preparations. Horrifyingly, I had learned that Sectonia's hobby for cosmetic and physical glamour had completely fractured her soul in so many pieces, mashing them with others. The ritual to resurrect one spiritually requires a whole soul, not one that's been mixed with so many different colors and speckled to nonrecognition. I did what I could and using a process referred to as alchemic memory based soul creation, creating a soul from ones memory, to fill in the gaps that were missing. It's not perfect but it is satisfactory. They say that the dead lives on through the memory of others, and there's a truth to that! With Queen Sectonia back in the temporary vessel, I needed to do one final ritual to ensure her grace would live healthy for a long time. After all, her original body was beyond repair, parts of her were missing and the ones that were not missing weren't even hers! With a virgin, as the ritual will not work otherwise, I had swapped her soul with Sectonia's soul. I destroyed both Sectonia's original resurrected body (this brought me to tears.) with that street urchin's soul infecting it. Finally, I used some transformation magic to turn the sacrificial body into Queen Sectonia in her former glory. With that, I have her back in my life again. The healing process will take some time, but that is fine. I will wait for her majesty as long as she needs me to."

-Queen Sectonia's Royal Advisor, Taranza

"They both terrify me."

-Meta Knight and King Dedede

#mspopstar #kirby askblog #ask #kirby #taranza #susie haltmann

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visualnovellover · 7 months ago

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Anon who asked about the flowers here and the answer was perfectly satisfactory, thank you! I understood there was a chance for you to not know dw I'm very happy to have gotten a response at all. Vrelnir has the QnA on their website though? "hard to navigate" is right because I can't find it.

I am yet to join the Discord because I personally dislike large rowdy servers, so I'm grateful for people who take screenshots and stash away info lol

im glad anon :D!

and yes, vrel would answer multiple questions on the website/blog from countless of people! it's just... a lot. but here's one of my fav questions ^^

you'd probably have to spend a while scrolling down older posts to see all of it.

there is a FAQ from the discord if you want to see it anon :0! here ya go, it doesn't cover some miscellaneous questions like flowers but there is interesting stuff that you might like :]

and don't worry anon, im not the only blog who goes to the disc and share info here ^^ so rest assured!!

#dol #degrees of lewdity #mail answered (ask)

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the-bonfires-ember · 1 year ago

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Friendship and ASPD

In a cluster b server I’m in, someone asked about how ASPD impacts friendships and I was encouraged to cross post my response on here so here we go.

Firstly, I’m going to go through how I figured out friendship and how to make it work for me starting from my lowest functioning point to where I am now.

So to begin with, I had no true circles. I floated between groups of people who could give me what I wanted in that moment and just manipulated them into giving it to me if my request alone was not satisfactory. Sometimes all I wanted was social camouflage, sometimes i wanted money or food or a distraction. It was arbitrary and there was no real long term plan - at least, when i was no longer in an environment where long term strategies were vital.

Eventually, as I started working on my recovery, I managed to maintain relationships that were exclusively online. The convenience in putting away my laptop and my social obligations disappearing along with it was immensely helpful and it gave me a way of experimenting with being a little more open and a little more attached that had no Real Life repercussions. It was still transactional, all my relationships still are to this day, but they started becoming less Obviously transactional. I was still getting physical, tangible stuff from people, but I was also getting support, a safe space to figure out how to relate to my emotions, and somewhere to practice empathy and other social skills like it. There was a lot of trial and error but when I ruined something in one space I could just start again somewhere else and not have to worry about the two overlapping.

Now that I am Recovered™️ sort of, I’ve developed Exceptions, who have at some point shown that they are trustworthy and nonjudgemental and understand the antisocial side of my personality and are happy to help me work around it. My symptoms sort of change around them. I don’t have remorse but with Exceptions I will feel a kind of visceral disgust directed at myself for how I could have hurt them like that and that will quite often spark a narc crash.

I decided a long time ago what I didn’t want to be, so throughout the entire process I was watching for patterns of behaviour that were harmful for the sake of being harmful. I created a quite intricate set of rules that I couldn’t loophole my way out of and that was very much an important factor in how I continued to develop my skills and ability to interact and maintain relationships.

I am still bad at a lot of stuff though. I don’t reach out to people, I never start conversations so a lot of people just disappear until I’m reminded of them. I’m also awful at vocalising appreciation and while I know logically that people like to help their friends, I constantly have an internal debate about whether I am taking advantage of people I don’t want to be taking advantage of (given that taking advantage of people tends to make them pissed off eventually). And there are days where I don’t want to be around anyone at all and thats ok. It’s better for me to let myself be by myself than to force myself to interact with people when I really dont want to.

Recognising where I lack skills and reflexes prosocials have has been a skill in and of itself and it took a long time to develop it. But it’s been worth it to me, I’m now able to experience and enjoy so many aspects of life I thought weren’t meant for me.

And I’m very smug about being able to get it despite it being implied I never would.

#cluster b #actually aspd #actually narcissistic #aspd #npd #aspd safe #npd safe #actually npd #narcissistic sociopath

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cheese-water · 2 years ago

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Watching Tubbo interact with people is so interesting. Every conversation he has is a information game that for some reason he keeps winning while making the other person think they won. Even today with his convos with Fred And Foolish, it’s like he knows all the right buttons to press to get someone to talk, literally.

Like, I would have never guessed fighting back on Fred’s robotic answers would get him to speak. Friendship and politeness and compassion, yes but calling out the bullshit responses he gives? I haven’t even mentioned the absolute gall Tubbo has to pull a “let’s run that back bucko” and continue questioning him. And he was right too. Tubbo treated Fred like anyone else on the server, demanding him to just talk to him like a normal person, and that’s what made the worker crack. And now he has a personal appointment at 1 pm pst all from two conversations (we still don’t know if it’s a positive or negative but it’s still a fuck ton of information).

Not even an hour later, we get Tubbo and Foolish’s discussion about the order which was incredible on Tubbo’s part. He instantly twists Foolish’s question about his opinions on The Order back on him and when he doesn’t get a satisfactory response (“I mean, they’re my friends!”), his approach changes.

“Do you think I should join The Order? Disregarding what’s in my best self interest of course.”

The speed at which Foolish responded no is astounding to witness. And Tubbo didn’t even answer his question. He just tweaked it ever so slightly to make Foolish think he was offering the newcomer advice instead of being forced to show most of his cards. To y’know, the guy he’s supposed to arrest in the future.

Makes me wish Tubbo was here for when Foolish arrested Pac and Mike. That interrogation probably would’ve gone a lot better lmao

#qsmp #tubbo #qsmp tubbo #qsmp fred #foolish gamers #he is a weasel #a very polite looking weasel #if I could write an analysis for every convo qtubbo has I would #however I have some sort of a life and need to sleep at some point lmao

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cqqdy · 1 month ago

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uu roleswap au Tax duo fic!! I love them so much they are so cute :DD

No content warnings!! :)

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Honestly, Eggchan was seriously starting to regret begging Mane to teach him how to pvp. If he had known back then that it would end up with him walking in an open field fully geared to fight the first Invisible Mafia player that came his way, then he would have turned and sprinted as far away from Mane and his massive tree base as possible. But alas, here he is now, hunting for untrimmed Invisible Mafia players to bring their chestplates back to Manepear.

As he walked across the open field and admired the scenery—which Wemmbu always complained about him doing when they went anywhere together, saying he needed to “lock in,” he couldn’t help but think about all of the choices that had led up to him being here now. He thought about how he went along with Wemmbu to the PrinceZam empire, how he helped Wemmbu destroy the PrinceZam empire, how he got imprisoned with Wemmbu and PrinceZam after destroying the empire, and how he was saved by Wemmbu after he had stupidly insisted that Egg should go without him. Now that he thought about it, all of this was kind of Wemmbu’s fault, but everything that seems to go wrong in his life on Unstable always seems to be traced back to him. Even now, as he tries his best to hunt down Invisible Mafia players and kill them, he’s really only doing all this to learn enough pvp so he can go and save Wemmbu from whatever predicament he’s gotten himself into this time. If it were up to him personally, he would be off on a little island hundreds of thousands of blocks away from spawn fishing peacefully with his best friend. No worries, no destruction, no prisons, and especially no Mafia.

Suddenly, he’s snapped out of his peaceful reverie by the sound of someone falling down right across from him. He flinches a little in surprise, but he tries his best to keep his cool, drawing his sword and getting ready to defeat who he presumes is an untrimmed Mafia member. However, when he looks up, he’s horrified to see that who he’s up against is not, in fact, an untrimmed Mafia member, but instead a Diamond trim player with a mace in hand. He didn’t really know much about the Invisible Mafia or its hierarchy—he really couldn’t be bothered to learn about all that—but he remembers one thing that Manepear told him: “avoid Diamond players at all costs, otherwise you’re genuinely so cooked.” Clearly, he was so cooked: he was about to get maced in the face and get banned off the server permanently before he was ever able to save Wemmbu or start his peaceful fishing civilization with him.

“Bro, I think we can talk about this,” He said shakily to the Diamond trim player, hoping he could reason with them to spare his life. “I’ll leave now and I’ll never mess with the Mafia again, like genuinely.”

He kept trying to reason with the Diamond player, coming up with compromises that he hoped would be satisfactory enough for them to finally leave him alone. When suddenly, he heard a laugh coming from the player, a very distinctive, familiar laugh…

“Wait, bro, Wemmbu?!” He exclaimed.

Wemmbu started laughing even louder, sounding completely breathless between each laugh. Yep. It was definitely him.

“Dude! You should have seen the look on your face! You looked terrified!” Wemmbu breathlessly said as he wiped tears from his eyes, clutching his stomach from pain. He was still invisible, but it was clear it was him.

“Oh my days bro, don’t scare me like that!” Egg exclaimed, still trying to recover from the rush of adrenaline from everything that happened just now.

“My bad, bro,” Wemmbu apologized without any genuine remorse. “Anyway, how have you been?” He asked, trying to change the topic.

“I’ve been alright. Mostly just pvp training,” Egg answered after calming down enough to respond to Wemmbu’s question. “Wait, dude, aren’t you, like, not allowed to be unmuted in the Invis Mafia?” He asked suddenly, realizing that Wemmbu was having a conversation with him this whole time when he’s probably not allowed to.

“Oh. Bro, I don’t care about that! I’m literally a Diamond player! I can probably do whatever I want,” Wemmbu smugly declared. “Besides, I don’t really care about this Invis Mafia business anyway. I only really joined so I could get the mace. And now that I’ve done that and found you, I think I can just leave now,” He said matter of factly, showing off the mace to Egg like it was some shiny, new toy.

“Bro, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Egg shot back. “They're, like, definitely going to be after you for this.”

“Whatever! I have a mace! I’ll just kill anyone who gets in my way,” Wemmbu dismissed him. “Anyway, where have you been staying this whole time? There’s literally no way you managed to get full netherite out of nowhere without some help from someone,” He asked, changing the subject yet again.

“Oh, I’ve been staying at Manepear’s for a while, training pvp and all that. You wanna come back with me? I don’t want more Mafia members to pull up and see us like this,” He responded, wanting to just go back to Mane’s base and eat some cake after everything that’s happened to him today.

“Sure!” Wemmbu exclaimed, excited to see Mane again after so long.

“Alright, let’s go.”

“Alright bro. Let’s.”

#tax duo #wemmbu #eggchan #tumblr fic #unstable universe #I love them aaaa #idk if it matters but this is basically egg’s I mastered Minecraft combat video #if that wasn’t super obvious haha #I want to write more on here but we’ll see…

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