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mei-mei-fics · 1 month ago

Text

Maintenance

pairing: ceo!jeong jaehyun x afab!employee reader

synopsis: You worked at an extremely successful Marketing company in the big city of Chicago. Fresh out of college, you were able to land such a high paying job, just for it to not be enough for you. You valued the more expensive things in life, and there was only one man who could provide that for you, Jeong Jaehyun.

genre: angst + smut

wc: 8.4k

warnings: sugar daddy basically, heavy smut, cursing, smoking, cunnilingus, filthy talk, odd power dynamics, age gap, hint of misogyny, etc. just mature.

ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .*

You wanted a promotion. Scratch that. You needed this promotion. Anyone else would’ve been satisfied with the amount of money that you make. You’re only 25, working as a marketing consultant almost fresh out of college.

Simply put, you were very skilled in university and had amazing internship experience. It’s only been about two years of you at this South Korean-based company, its branches have finally reached the States, landing you a great opportunity to work in the big city of Chicago and be grateful enough to live alone.

But, even with the amazing pay and benefits the job comes with, you want more. You’re one to spoil yourself and live a luxurious life as a 25-year-old woman making more than the nation's average. You never came to work with your nails undone, a hair out of place. Instead, you came in the sleekest heels with the highest quality blouses and skirts. You catch eyes from all around when you step into the office. The men and women in every quarter acknowledge you daily.

“Y/N, I love your suit today.”

“Y/N, your purse is so beautiful, I wish my husband could afford that.”

“Your hair is always so beautiful, send me your stylist”.

Just several things you hear daily. However, your maintenance is becoming a bit too high. Your budgeting is shifting, and you’re beginning to realize that your maintenance can only be upheld with a higher salary. And what better way to do that? A raise simply wouldn’t cut it.

But, why not head for a position that offers 6 figures after the first year? Yes. You decided you were going to run for Vice President of Marketing Consulting at your company, that way with a little bit of the extra money, you can sit back and monitor everyone else in your company. You’ve always been one to express your opinion on anything going on, so why not get paid more for your input?

Applications were to have been submitted earlier this month, and of course, you were one of the first to get that done. Your boss, Jeong Jaehyun, has always praised that aspect of you. You never slacked or procrastinated, you’ve always shown that you were serious about your job and put in your best effort.

Earlier this month, you knocked on the door to his office, all the way on the 17th floor of the sky-rise building he owned. “Come in please.” you heard the assuring tone through the thick wooden doors. You pushed the golden handle and walked into the office, lit with beautiful warm lights, the room was filled with huge windows, cleaned twice a week per his request. Filing cabinets galore, the smell of coffee, and soft jazz music playing off his Alexa speaker. He acknowledged your presence once he heard the clacking of your heels approach further.

“Ah, Ms. Y/N, I almost forgot you were coming today. Is this your application?” He asked, motioning towards the portfolio in your hands. “Yes sir, I know we had about a week left to submit it, so I just needed to get this out the way.” You smiled softly, placing the portfolio in his hands. He nodded agreeing with your state, and gazed over the portfolio.

“You know, Y/N, you’re very brave for going after a position like this at such a young age, the competition won’t be light. What’s influencing you to go this route?” He asked like it was a simple question, setting your portfolio into a cabinet next to him, leaning back into his chair, cocking his head to the side.

He folded his hands over his lap, after motioning you to sit in the soft office chair across his desk. You cleared your throat, smoothing your skirt, sitting on the chair, and sitting up as straight as you could.

“Well, you see, I want to explore my expertise and bring everything I have to offer this job, Sir. I admire everything that goes on here and I would love to play a bigger role.” You said, in your soft but assuring voice. Even though what you said was truthful, you wanted it to sound more convincing than the tone that was coming out.

Jaehyun giggled slightly and put his head down facing his hands. Almost in disbelief. You cocked your head and furrowed your brows, genuinely trying to follow the actions of your supervisor. “Ms. Y/N, your answer sounds so rehearsed, it’s almost like you’re playing this out to be the interview,” he says calmly after regaining his breath from the laughter. “You’re young, you’re single, what business would somebody like you want going out to be the boss of a bunch of egotistical men? You’ll drain yourself by the time you’re 30.”

You furrow your lips into a tight line and try to suppress a sigh. He was right. These men don’t want to be bossed around by a woman like you. At least not in this setting. Will you even be taken seriously? Will people acknowledge you as a higher-up? You’re as old as some of these men’s daughters. Would it be selfish to take this opportunity from another person who might need this money?

“I need the money Mr. Jeong.” you finally caved in. It sounded almost disappointing that you were admitting to such a thing. Jaehyun’s eyes dropped as well as his smile. He looked down a bit awkwardly, almost like he said something offensive, and realized the severity of the situation.

A few moments pass, and he inhales a breath before leaning in closer over the table. “Excuse my ignorance Ms. Y/N, but every day you come into the office looking like a model. It sounds a little cliche and inappropriate coming from your boss, but your documents tell me you’re single and live comfortably, your salary pay is above average, your hair is never out of place, and you drive a 2024 Hyundai outside, if I didn’t know any better, I would say you’re doing perfectly fine.” It sounded like a lecture in all honesty.

He was right, you were doing amazing on your own, and you could afford almost anything comfortably. You’re being greedy, at least that’s what you felt Jaehyun was portraying. You shook your head in acknowledgment of his words. “Yes sir, my mistake. I’ll withdraw my application.” you caved in, too afraid to look him in the eyes. You slowly began to rise from the chair, noticing your vision began to get a little blurry from the tears threatening to fall.

“Ms. Y/N.” his voice came out sharp, but not harsh, as he also arose from his chair. He looked at you with the same soft gaze as before, you blinked a few tears back and met his eyes. “Yes sir?”

“Do you have any plans tonight?” You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. Why could he possibly need to know that? Your eyes told it all, but he still wanted to hear you.

“Uh. Well, no sir I’m not. May I ask why? Do you need me to stay after today?” you asked with a confused pitch in your voice. It almost came off as a bit rude some may argue, but with Jaehyun being your higher-up, the idea of him seeing his past work hours is as rare as a blue moon.

It’s understandable why your mind is racing accordingly. “I want to see your apartment,” he said ever so bluntly. “I want to see how you live, I want to make sure the assumptions I’m dropping on you are correct.” he continues, crossing his arms. Is he trying to intimidate you? Because if he is, it’s working.

You cleared your throat once again and shook your head in approval. You stood straight up, raising your head higher and forcing a small smile, to distract him from your nervousness. “Oh. Well, I guess that’s okay. I’ll have to clean a bit, but I could see you for company tonight around maybe 8?” your voice was as convincing as a 5-year-old who broke something and pretended to be oblivious.

“Great. It’s a date. See you tonight Ms. Y/N.” he smiled again finally since his laughing fit, of course, his dimples on display for your eyes. “Yeah, a date.” you blushed like an idiot, before collecting yourself, clacking your heels as you almost sped walk to his door. The sigh of relief that left you after closing his door was almost as loud for anyone passing to hear.

“Fuck.” you cursed to yourself.

8:33 PM

A sudden knock approached the door of your apartment. You arose from your on the couch, wearing a matching lounge set with your Ugg slippers, going to the door. You gazed out the peephole to be met with the familiar face of your boss. You took a deep breath, wiping your hands on your top, alleviating the sweat that was building, opening the door. On the other side, Jaehyun stood in all his glory. Black slacks, a loose white button-up, and his hair a bit more ruffled than how he usually maintains it.

“Good evening Ms. Y/n.” he smiled.

“Good evening Mr. Jeong”. You responded breathlessly. He looked handsome, no denying that. Even though it's obvious he's just gotten through with the workday, he seems more relaxed and approachable.

“May I come in?” he asked, hand motioning towards the door frame. “It’s getting kind of cold out here, I left my blazer in the car,” he explained with a shy smile, dimples coming to display.

“Oh, of course. I’m sorry.” you nodded stepping to the side and allowing the man to enter. He slipped off his work loafers and laid them neatly down by the front door. His eyes browsed around the living space with a grin creeping.

Your apartment was warm, with beige walls, paintings gracing the walls, vases filled with plants, a nice big rug, and even some figurines of your favorite niches laid around the hard surfaces.

“Your apartment smells nice.” Jaehyun acknowledged before having a seat on your cremé colored couch. “It’s almost exactly how I could've imagined it to be Ms. Y/N.”

You bit back on your lip nervously, before walking to finally sit on the opposite end of your couch. Your eyes were too shy to meet your boss’s gaze. Of course, you've had men over, even though it wasn't a lot of men, you're not a stranger to having the presence near you.

But, your handsome, respectful, polite boss, who seemed to never have a social life outside of his job? In your humble abode? Wow. It’s like having a first date all over again. Your train of thought was gone before he ever stepped in, barely being able to focus on anything that was not his looks. Reality snapped back at you when you felt a piercing gaze hit the right side of your body. It’s only then you remember that he bestowed a compliment upon you.

“Oh, right yes thank you. Sorry, I just blanked out for a minute.” you rambled out quickly before turning your body to face his direction. “Uhm, I’m sorry I’m so rude. Would you like anything to drink or eat? I have fruit and uhm alcohol, maybe a glass of wine I…”

“Just a bottle of water if you have it Ms. Y/N”. he interrupted with a soft giggle. He glanced over again to your kitchen area filled with a neat array of decor and fine china peering through the glass cabinets. “You know, even I don’t have any dishes that fancy in my house. Do you ever have guests over?” he questioned.

You stood up from your seat keeping your head down as you walked into your kitchen, opening the fridge and retrieving a bottle of water. “Oh, I don’t have many guests over at all, I just like to keep pretty things you know,” you admitted in an assuring tone before walking back to hand the bottle to him. “Also, outside of work, you don’t have to call me ‘Ms.’” you told him a bit quietly, you made sure your tone wasn’t coming off in a rude manner of course. “Just Y/N will suffice now.”

Jaehyun’s smile grew right before your eyes, his hand lightly grasping the bottles as his fingers hovered over yours for a brief moment. “Okay Y/N, well then maybe with this new comfortability we’re coming to, it'll be easier to talk to you about this situation I had in mind.” Jaehyun opened the bottle and took a quick swig of the water before placing it down on the coffee table in front of him.

You blushed like a fucking fool at the slight touch the man laid on you, staring at him a bit too hard watching him drink the water. How did he make such a simple action look so erotic?

You gulped slightly before going back to your original position on the couch to face him. “Uhm, okay well what did you want to talk to me about sir?” you cocked your head to the side laying your curious expression on him.

Jaehyun took one last slip of the water again, before letting out a sigh of satisfaction. He shifted his body towards you while he cleared his throat. “To put it simply, I think it would be extremely ignorant and difficult for me to give you that promotion.”

“Some people have been with the company longer and have more experience in that field than you do Y/N. It wouldn’t be fair for them, and I don’t want to damage my credibility”. He simply spewed out the statements as if it wasn’t one of the worst things you could’ve heard.

Your head naturally fell at his words. He was right. No need to argue, plead, or beg. Nothing. It was the undoubtable truth. Facts that have been proven time and time again. Still, the tears in your eyes welled and your expression fell. God, can a girl just get a little fucking help? You don’t ask for much, all you want to do is just spend the money you make as lavishly as you can.

You work like a dog and spend like a queen, it’s not like you expect all this to just be handed to you. You deserve more and you always tell yourself that. The frustration was becoming too much for you. Tears fell slowly but silently.

“Y/N, I understand how difficult this is for you. As your higher-up, I want to offer you another solution to your problem.” Jaehyun said barely above a whisper leaning closer to you, laying a soft hand on your thigh.

The sudden motion caught you off guard looking at his hand. You wiped your face with the back of your hand before looking up to meet his eyes. You stared at him with a small sense of hope wondering before you what his solution could be. “Maybe, I could sponsor you Y/N,” he suggested softly.

The stare on your face was as blank as a damn white sheet of paper. What? What does he mean by sponsoring you? “Like, a sugar baby?” you asked dumbfounded. He sighed softly before closing the gap between you two even more.

“I don’t like that term, I don’t expect the sex or forcing you into doing anything like that. I just, you’re very pretty Y/N. Simply, I’m drawn to how you present yourself. I can’t express to you how good it would feel to be the man who bought all the things you wore.”

He whispered gently interlacing his hands into yours. His thumb graced the back of your hand as he looked into your expression. “You would look so pretty in the clothes that I buy you and the jewelry I pick out for you. You’d look so pretty just for me.” he continued out trying to get a read on your face.

You blinked back the rest of the tears and held his hand a little tighter. Your lips curved slightly to give him a weak smile and meet his eyes finally. “Well, what would you like in return Mr. Jeong?” you asked softly. To be honest, as handsome as your boss is, you’ve never been the type to see him in such a romantic aspect, at least not yet.

You don’t know exactly how far you’re willing to go in your agreement. Jaehyun’s head turned to the side to stare at you with his attentive eyes. “That’s up to you really Y/N. Just show me that you’re appreciative of what I’m doing for you. Give me your attention. It’ll be enough for me.” he told you in all his honesty.

Jaehyun was like most men in his field. Lonely. Whether they were married in loveless relationships, or divorced and used for others' advantages, Jeong Jaehyun had nobody outside of work. Other than his other extremely rich male friends, they’re always boasting about having sugar babies or models that they spoil.

Some say it’s pathetic, but for Jaehyun, it’s perfect for him. He’s not asking for devotion or a relationship. Just some time. Just some affection. And in return, he’d do what he could to keep you as happy as you made him. Is that so bad?

You nodded understandably. Giving off a small smile you tugged gently on Jaehyun’s hand, squeezing it before meeting his gaze. “I think this is something I’d be interested in Mr. Jeong,” you assured him. Your tone was soft and gentle, but warm and assuring. This is what you want. Money. Spoiling. Gifts. And best of all, the price was your choice. Be respectful and kind, and he’ll do whatever you wish for. This is a dream coming true for you.

Jaehyun’s smile was bright and tender. He acknowledged your words, taking your cheek and cupping it in his hand gently. “I appreciate you so much Ms. Y/N. We can discuss any rules or suggestions you have at any time. You have my number, I’ll be in touch with you.” he stated.

He stood up gently, dusting himself off and grabbing the water bottle you issued to him earlier. “I better get going, I do have a pretty lady to work with early tomorrow morning and I wouldn’t miss that for anything in the world.” he teased jokingly, obviously the pretty lady in question being you.

You stood up as well, shaking your head. “Your flirting is crazy Mr. Jeong.” you softly chuckled, leading him towards the door to your apartment and opening it. “I’ll see you tomorrow sir, please be safe.” you issued your farewell respectfully. Jaehyun made his way towards the door, stopping in the frame to lay a soft kiss on your forehead.

“Like I said Ms. Y/N, I’ll be in touch. Goodnight,” he whispered before heading out the door of your apartment.

You closed the door softly. You sighed to yourself and began to think about everything happening. Your heart was fluttering and your head spun with all the possibilities that could take place with you and your boss. Letting your imagination run free, the rest of the night went by swiftly as you went to bed for your nightly rest.

9:14 AM

The following morning, you enter your cubicle in the office building like usual. Your hair in its signature style, wearing your favorite perfume, and a soft gloss complimenting your complexion. You began the day with a hot caramel-flavored coffee at your side as you typed away at your computer, answering emails and looking at logs and dates for the future. A ring on your cellphone shortly came after some time into your work. The contact was labeled no other than “Mr. Jeong.”

You smiled and took a soft breath before answering it, voice quiet as you didn’t want to distract any of your colleagues. “Hello?”

“Ms. Y/N, could you drop by my office today? I wanted to discuss something regarding our agreement,” he responded softly into the phone. His voice was warm, as per usual. However, hearing it over the phone now with your new arrangement exudes a new feeling in you. Something sudden and seductive.

You slid out of your chair and walked quickly to the office of Jaehyun’s, knocking a few times before you heard his voice telling you to come in. You walked into the office with a bright smile on your face before sitting in front of him in the guest chair. “Good morning Mr. Jeong.” you beamed.

Jaehyun’s dimples were on display, smiling at your presence. He looked at your outfit, your blouse a soft pink shade today with a black pencil skirt. “Good morning Ms. Y/N, you look beautiful today. As you always do.” he complimented casually. “I called you in because I wanted you to read over this, Tell me what you think.” his hands went to his printer, and a few sheets of paper came out.

He grabbed the warm stack of papers and stapled them together before placing them in front of you. The title of the documents is labeled as “contract.” You cocked your head to the side before skimming through the items.

Contract

This document reads the legal terms allowed between the pair of Y/N L/N and Jeong Jaehyun. In regards to the limits, expectations, and direct references of their relationship….

As you read on, a few things caught your attention. “Details of our relationship will not be discussed with colleagues or anyone in our team.” Understandable. “If either factor in the pair decides to leave the agreement, the contract will still uphold any rules regarding discussion of the relationship.” Okay, so basically an NDA right? But the major rule highlighted caught your attention.

“This pair will not conduct any exclusive activities of a relationship, including but not limited to being officially boyfriend and girlfriend, marriage, or sex.”

Your eyes opened widely. Jaehyun took notice of the action, leaning into your gaze. “Anything wrong?” he asked, furrowing his brows. You blinked a few times before clearing your throat and meeting his gaze. “No! Nothing's wrong at all sir. It’s perfect how well thought out this is.” you perked giving an awkward smile. Everything in the agreement was understandable.

You memorized everything that stood out and narrowed your options. “So, everything here is just for legal purposes I assume?” you ask tilting back up to acknowledge Jaehyun.

He nodded accordingly. “Just in case we have any issues since we’re in a work setting, I don’t want to risk being sued or ridiculed in case something happens. Not that it will, but I’m just being smart,” he assured. He rummaged in a cup, hanging you a black pen. “I’ve already signed here, sign down here on the line. You can keep that copy, I’ll just have to copy it in the machine before you go.” he motioned towards the red line. Above, was his signature acknowledging he agreed to all terms of the contract.

You took the pen from his grasp, wrote your signature on the line, and handed him the sheet to copy. He smiled softly, slipping the paper into the copier machine, and faxing out more sheets. He handed you the original copy with your signature. “Thank you. Here’s your pen.” you handed the item back to him with a soft grin, awaiting his response.

He smiled, softly removing the pen from your grasp and setting it back. “Now, Y/N I wanted to show you a bit of my appreciation for signing up to do this.” he began gently, he dipped down under his desk revealing a sleek black shoebox. Your eyes widened and your mouth dropped, covering your lips before a gasp could escape. The box read “YSL.” You shook your head and extended your hand out. “Mr. Jeong, I can’t accept this, I don’t even buy this for myself.” you began protesting politely.

His eyebrows furrowed as he shrugged his shoulders. “That’s the point Ms. Y/N. Allow me to buy these things for you.” He extended his arms over the desk, hinting for you to open the box. You reluctantly slipped your hands over the item, lifting the black lid. Inside the box held the sleekest kitten heel with gold YSL embellishment on the center.

You looked up to him with the brightest smile you’ve ever worn in that office. “Mr. Jeong, I appreciate this so much. I can’t believe you did this, I’m so thankful,” you repeated. Your voice was laced with excitement and gratitude and it exuded something Jaehyun, something that he knew he needed to see more of.

“Try them on love.” he insisted, his tone sultry as his voice barely became above a whisper. He lifted from his seat walking over to you. He spun you lightly in the chair to face him. He took the box and got down on one knee in front of you. You weren’t wearing your stockings today, as you had on a long pencil skirt. His hand gently caressed your bare leg lifting to his chest. He gently slipped the black flat off your foot, replacing it with the heel, repeating the same step for the other leg.

His touch was gentle, warm, and seductive. It was enough to spark that rare feeling of excitement and lust in you. This contract would be dreadful if he continued these actions with you. How could he ever expect that you wouldn’t want to have sex with him? Jaehyun looked as if he was constructed to be God’s favorite. His skin was clear and bright. His hair is thick and full of body. The dimples balanced his masculine appearance so well, that his body was toned perfectly. Everything was perfect about him. Sexually endearing.

Jaehyun gazed upon you carefully eyeing every ounce of you. How your hair was always neatly styled. How your makeup was soft and warm, your lips always a perfect shade of nude or glossed. Your eyes are soft and endearing. He knew exactly what he was doing when he was writing that contract. He knew exactly why he had to emphasize a no-sex clause. He wouldn’t be able to get enough of you.

You stood up from the chair taking a few steps in the heel. They were surprisingly very comfortable, even though you were good at walking in heels, you weren’t a stranger to the occasional pain they caused. Jaehyun lifted off the floor, tossing your black flats into the box before he bestowed it under his desk. He took you by the waist encouraging you to face him.

“I saw these in the store months ago and they did remind me of you.” he began as he inched closer to your face. His gaze trailed from your beautiful bright eyes down to your slightly exposed collarbone. “I couldn’t help myself from getting these for you once I found out you wanted to partake in this sponsorship,” he whispered.

You met his gaze shyly before giggling a bit to yourself subconsciously. “Thank you, Mr. Jeong. I’ll wear them as often as I can.” you continued. His gaze on you was dangerous. He was locked in, to say the least. The space between you two was slim to none, not that either of you mind. Your chest was to his as his lower body pressed closer against you.

“I want to see you in everything I get you more often,” he explained with a soft smile. His breath hitched gently as he felt the erotic feeling growing in his pants. Once he noticed it he politely turned away, pulling his touch away from you. He walked back over to the seat on his desk.

“You should get going Ms. Y/N, I’m sure your colleagues are wondering about your whereabouts.” he insisted with his regular tone of voice once again. You were caught off guard, but you decided not to overstep. You nodded your head shyly before walking to the door to exit. “Thank you, Mr. Jeong. I’ll see you soon.” you kindly bid your farewell before you are caught off guard once again by him saying your name.

“Yes sir?” you asked while your body stood in the door frame. “Please lock the door on your way out,” he answered as steadily as his voice allowed him to. Your eyes widened slightly but you didn’t refrain from doing what he said. Exiting the door, you made sure to twit the lock to the left heading back to your seat.

After the door locked, Jaehyun unbuckled his pants grabbing out his hard length. He wrapped his large rough hand around his dick and began pumping slowly and tightly. Only one thing on his mind. You.

“Mm… fuck Y/N.” escaped his lips countless amounts of times. For the record, no one saw him for the rest of that morning.

A few weeks pass of Jaehyun texting you and calling you every few days of the week. Usually, these conversations consisted of asking about each other's day, asking you about your favorite colors and sizes in clothes, and occasionally venting from both parties. When you came to your cubicle in the office, breakfast, and coffee would be waiting there for you. When you came home from work, a package from designer brands or flowers wrapped outside would be awaiting at your door frame. Messages would be attached to each gift from none other than Jaehyun of course.

“Saw this and it reminded me of you love.”

“Show me how this fits today Y/N.”

“You look so pretty in this love.”

All signed by J.JH. When it was time for a fill-in for your nails, Jaehyun would pick which color and design he would want you to wear, which you didn’t mind because coincidentally you both had similar tastes. When you wanted to go to the salon for a treatment or new style, he always sent double the amount that was needed. He loved spoiling you. He loved seeing you dolled up for him. And all you did in return was send him photos of you in everything he put you in.

When he bought you that new blazer for work, you wore it the next day. Every salon appointment, you flooded his messages with pictures of results. Even when you got your toes done, you sent him pictures of everything. The flowers he sent were watered daily in your apartment. You were truthfully grateful and appreciative of the life he was providing for you.

What did Jaehyun think of all this? It turned him on. Every picture flooded and his phone was immediately saved to his camera roll. He scrolled through your chats every night before bed, and every morning when he woke up. The smile on your face, the glow on your skin, and the perfume you wore were all caused by him. You were his. His muse, his doll, everything he needed. You were so kind and willing to show how much he was appreciated. The fact that he easily made you feel so loved and cared for was heaven to him.

9:59 PM

It was a Saturday night, you had the whole weekend off. You were sat in a red satin robe and some fuzzy slippers Jaehyun bought you a few weeks ago, in the living room of your apartment eating dinner while watching your favorite Netflix series. You were awaiting a package that Jaehyun alerted you about earlier in the week. It was supposed to have arrived last night but got delayed due to the weather. A message pinged your phone, checking the notification it was from Jaehyun.

Mr. Jeong❤️: hey beautiful girl, check outside your door now.

Mr. Jeong❤️: your package said it arrived about 5 minutes ago, send me pictures whenever you try it on <3.

You texted back an “okay❤️,” before jumping out of your seat to your front door. You opened the door and grabbed the package that was set directly outside. Bringing it into the house, you cut open the box to see that a pink and white striped box was inside. Victoria Secret. Your eyes widened. Jaehyun never bought you lingerie. Nothing even close. Your hands trailed over the box lifting the lid to see exactly what was graced inside.

White and lacy bra and panties set with laced socks to match. The bra was embroidered with gold clips adjustment straps and a bow directly between your cleavage. It was undoubtedly the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen. You checked the back of the panties, it was a cheeky style. You took the item with you into your bedroom slipping it onto your body.

You went to the mirror and stared at yourself. You decided to keep your hair down and not put on any makeup since you were just going to send him a picture of your body. The lingerie hugged your curves perfectly and the white and gold contrast brought out your skin tone beautifully. You laid back in the bed and began posing seductively taking a plethora of photos to send to Jaehyun.

You: [sent 6 attachments]

You: wow, I can’t believe how pretty this is, thank you❤️.

10:23 PM

Jaehyun’s phone dinged. He was sitting on his balcony in a relaxed white tee and sweatpants smoking a cigarette while listening to his playlist off his speaker. He checked the phone and saw the pictures you blessed his phone with. His breath hitched as his heartbeat grew faster. He examined each picture slowly analyzing every inch of your body. He examined how your breasts sat perked in the bra. How glowy the white lace made your skin pop. How the thin lace barely covered your nipples.

Mr. Jeong❤️: I’m otw.

It sounded like a threat in all honesty. Jaehyun hadn’t been to your apartment since the day he proposed the sponsorship idea. Your mind was foggy. What do you do? What was he going to do to you? Would he finally break what’s in the contract? After pondering for a few moments, you hopped out of the bed and went into your bathroom. You graced a soft amount of makeup enhancing your features just in case he planned to fuck you. Finally.

Your mind raced vigorously taking in all the possibilities of what he could do to you. Would he be big? Would he tease you? The possibilities were endless. After popping a few dabs of blush and lipstick on, you grabbed your robe and pulled it around your skin. You headed towards your mirror taking more seductive pictures to send to him. If he was already feeling the pressure of wanting to fuck you, you wanted to grow that desire as much as you could before he got there.

You: [sent 4 attachments]

You: I hope u like these too :)

As Jaehyun was rushing out of his home, he checked the mirror pictures you sent him. His pants were tightening every second as he stared at you. You were enticing to him. There wasn’t a part of you that he didn’t feel enamored by, physically and emotionally. Your personality was sweet and polite. But your body was the sexiest thing he could ever lay his eyes on.

Mr. Jeong❤️: fuck the contract.

He jumped into his car and sped to your apartment. He knew your addresses by heart now making the 20-minute drive into 10 minute one. He arrived shortly knocking at your door.

You jumped up from your space in the bed strolling over to the door. As you opened it, Jaehyun’s presence filled the door frame eyeing you. His eyes were dark and hooded, his chest heaved up and down like he was out of breath. “Hello Mr. Jeong!” you greeted innocently with a smile. He smiled softly sizing you up and down. The way your body was out almost completely on display for him caught him in a trance. “Hello Y/N. May I come in?” he asked calmly. You moved to the side allowing him to step into your space, closing and locking the door behind you.

“What brings you here so late?” you asked curiously walking over closer to engulf his frame. He held you closely by your naked waist staring at your frame. “I had to see how beautiful my baby looked tonight,” he whispered inching dangerously close to your lips. Your eyes fluttered allowing him to grow closer, lips barely touching his. Your breath hitched at the contact.

“I look this beautiful just for you sir,” you whispered seductively against his lips. Jaehyun closed his eyes and crashed his lips against yours passionately. His grip on your waist tightened, causing him to pull you against his lower half. The friction between his body and yours created a hot sensation between you too. The tension in the room thickens. The sound of each other's lips smacking against each other filled the room.

You melted into the kiss yearning more for his touch. You wrapped your arms around his neck moaning gently at the friction he was creating by grinding your hips onto his erection. “M-Mr. Jeong,” you gasped between kisses trying to catch your breath. He ignored you. He completely took over your body, engulfing you in a deeper and longer kiss.

“Your bedroom, now,” he commanded. His voice was hoarse and breathing heavy. He only released you enough to have you lead him towards your room. He kept his hands close to your waist as you led the way. “Mr. Jeong, the contract what’ll happen if we break it?” you questioned stopping in your tracks as you stood in your doorframe. His eyes were still filled with lust, but his touch was reassuring and warm.

“We can worry about that later, we both want this. Don’t you Y/N?” he asked gently. His hands interlocked his fingers into yours, rubbing warm circles with his thumbs. “I do, but I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.” you continued quietly. He nodded pulling you into your bedroom and having you both stand adjacent to your bed. He finally let go of your waist staring down at your frame.

“Get down,” he commanded with a low and stern voice. You looked up with eyes widened in shock. You slowly got down onto your knees keeping direct eye contact with him. You kept your head tilted up as Jaehyun brought his hand to cup your cheek. He softly stroked your face with his thumb examining your soft features.

“You’re so pretty baby,” he whispered daringly. He pressed his thumb to your lips pulling them slightly ajar. “Open your mouth,” Jaehyun smirked watching as you obeyed him instantly. You maintained eye contact surprisingly not breaking at the dominance he reigned over you. He leaned down slowly spitting into your mouth catching you off guard. He watched as you reluctantly swallowed the drop he laid into your mouth, smirking at your reaction. “Such a good girl for me,” he cooed strumming your face.

You blushed at his actions feeling slightly embarrassed by how you could easily succumb to his wants. But, you couldn’t deny how much his dominance turned you on. The wetness pooling from your core was more than enough evidence. You slowly raised your hand up to his bulge poking through his sweats, palming everything Jaehyun had to offer.

He hissed loudly at the abrupt touch, grabbing your wrist. “Not yet baby,” he warned sternly jerking your hand away from his length. You whined annoyed at his actions. “Why not?” you questioned cocking your head up to him. He smirked at your whining, amused by how much audacity you had. “Because baby, we’ve established already who’s in control here haven’t we?” he asked rhetorically. He simultaneously pulled his sweatpants and black boxers down to his ankles, letting his erect length spring into the air.

It took everything in you not to gasp his size. You didn’t expect him to be so thick, his tip red and leaking with pre-cum. He stilled his hand under your chin, using his other hand to pump his length in front of you. Jaehyun moaned softly as he noticed you staring at him masturbating. It was hot. How infatuated you were with his body. How enticing it was for him to see you so needy and weak for him. He barely touched you, yet he knew how much of a hold he had on you. “Do you see what you do to me baby?” he hissed stroking himself faster.

“Seeing you get so pretty for me, how you always smell so good. How do I get to spoil you and nobody else? How you listen to me and be so good to me, it turns me on so much having a good pretty girl like you,” he praised breathing heavily in between each stroke. Jaehyun was covered already in a thin coat of sweat and his deep baritone voice laced your ears with pleasure. You wanted nothing more but to show him your appreciation thoroughly, how wonderful he made you feel.

You slowly grabbed his wrist, pulling his arm that cuffed his length directly into your mouth. He moaned hazily at the contact of your wet and warm mouth around his cock. He threw his head back instantly. Jaehyun watched as you took him all the way engulfing his length. He struggled to keep a steady breath or a calm face. Only shaky moans escaped his lips and the furrowing of his brows took over.

He scrunched his face in pleasure, taking the back of our head and bucking his hips roughly into your mouth. Gagging and humming filled the air as saliva drooled over your chin. He rutted against your mouth at a faster pace as you struggled trying to keep up with his desires. “Fuck baby,” he hissed lowly. “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum in this pretty mouth of yours,” he warned cupping the back of your head with both strong hands now.

Your eyes were welling with tears as the back of your throat became tense and sore. He was being so rough with you. Like you were just a toy he could fool with and use for his sole pleasure. But essentially that’s what you were to him. A beautiful, loving, fuck toy. Just his. Only his. You hummed gently around his dick causing vibrations to hit around his entire length.

His eyes shut tightly before you felt a trickle of warm salty liquid fill your mouth. You struggled to swallow it, as his length was still fully engulfed into your mouth. He gently pulled away from your lips, wiping your soaking mouth dry with the back of his hand. “I’m sorry I was so rough Y/N,” he whispered timidly strumming your warm cheeks. “Are you okay?”

You nodded assuringly giving a small smile. “I’m okay Mr. Jeong, I promise.” You slowly rose from your knees making your way to sit on your bed. Your robe was slipping, your knees aching from sitting on the floor. Jaehyun eyed you, looking at how gorgeously the sweat from your head caused your hair to stick to your skin. Your shoulder and torso are exposed from the poorly secured robe you adorned.

“Baby,” he whispered walking to sit on the bed adjacent to you. You cocked your head up, noticing how closely he was inching towards your face. He slipped your robe off your shoulders, gently wrapping his arms around you again. You giggled noticing he still had on his shirt. Tugging at it gently you looked into his eyes. “Take this off for me Mr. Jeong,” you politely asked with a kind smile and pleading eyes.

He immediately obeyed doing just as you asked, removing his shirt in one swift motion. He pushed you gently having your back laid against the bed, as she hovered over you. He placed his knee gently before your wet clothed core. “You drive me so crazy Y/N,” he confessed as he placed open wet kisses across your neck.

You moaned softly at the sensation. His lips were soft yet filled with so much passion and force. His fingers laced around your throat squeezing lightly at the sides of your neck. His knee slowly dragged between your legs feeling how soaked your pussy is. “Wow baby, you’re this wet for me already? Were you thinking about how well I was going to fuck you, my love?” he rhetorically asked grinding his knee deeper between your clit.

You nodded your head obeying his words. You gasped as his grip tightened. “Yes, yes sir! I’ve been thinking about you fucking me for weeks. I want you so bad Mr. Jeong sir,” you screamed out each word as he deliberately kissed your rougher down between your cleavage. Jaehyun chuckled in amusement at your confession, placing your legs over his hips. He slipped your white panties to them staring at your seeping core.

“Yeah, baby? You thought about me taking care of you like this?” he questioned before slipping one of his long slender fingers inside of you, curling it feeling the inside of your walls. You arched your back in pleasure as your thighs shook at the feeling. He was already setting you off the edge, hardly even touching you.

Jaehyun watched as you squirmed beneath his touch, the feeling of wanting to completely ruin you was taking over him. Corrupting your perfect body, fucking you like the spoiled slut you were for him. His eyes were fluttering from the intense feeling building inside him. He sat on his knees pulling his finger out of you harshly, causing a whine of ache to escape from you.

“You’re such a good girl. Always showin' off for me,” he whispered looking dead into your eyes as he pumped his cock once again. “You’re so beautiful in this lingerie I bought you,” he continued. “Take your panties off for me darling,” he commanded quietly. You nodded profusely as you slipped the material off your thighs. He took the panties from your hand and swiftly threw them into the pile of clothes that he left on your floor.

You laid there half-naked just for him to explicitly see you. “Spread your legs and lift them for me.”

The command was so vulgar and dirty. He knew he had so much control over you. You’d do anything he said, anything he could ever ask for. You were obligated to. You were his.

You did as he commanded, legs up having your heat out for display. Jaehyun stared down at your wet cunt, dripping in arousal just for him. His gaze made his way back to your doe eyes. He hovered gently over you to lay a soft kiss on your beautiful lipstick-smudged lips before he rammed into you.

Your back arched instantaneously at the abrupt contact, you screamed out a long pleasure-filled moan as your arms flew to cling onto Jaehyun’s broad back. “Mr. Jeong please!” you begged. Jaehyun began to ram into you at a steady and deep pace, kissing down your neck in an attempt to calm you down.

You were anything but calm. The pleasure was immense. The speed was perfect. He stretched you out so well and filled you perfectly. The pleasure overthrew the pain by miles, it was incomparable to anything you’ve ever felt before.

Jaehyun himself was struggling to keep his composure as well. He was extremely vocal about how good you felt, groaning at every clench your body made. He thrusted deeply into your core causing waves of pleasure to take over him. “Mr. Jeong,” you breathed out weakly, “I-i can’t take it sir,” you complained out. He gripped his strong hand around your neck once more forcing your lips to meet his.

He kissed you deeply muffling your moans and your comments. “You can take whatever I give you baby,” he replied between your sunken wet kisses. He trusted faster into you, causing your face to scrunch up. “See baby? You’re taking it so well, you’re doing so good. Such a good girl for me. My pretty baby…” Jaehyun praised you every single moment he could. This was no exception.

You clenched around him so tightly, that he felt every inch of you. You didn’t run away from the love he was making for you, you were perfect for him. A warm and tight knot formed in your stomach. The sensation caused you to dig deeper, scratching red lines deep into your boss’s back. “Mr. Jeong, I think I’m going to cum, it feels too good!” you exclaimed again, your voice cracking and toes curled in the sensation he was causing you.

Jaehyun grabbed your hips holding you down as he somehow was able to ram into you faster, causing screams from the both of you. His body was covered in sweat. His abs glisten before your eyes, his head thrown back as every inch of his manhood disappears deep into your core. “Take it, baby, take it so well, I’m gonna cum with you,” he praised his voice deep and laced with passion.

After a few more deep thrusts, you felt your cum drip down your thighs. Your cheeks were red and flush, sweat covered your entire body. Curses fled from your mouth as you chased your high. Jaehyun was far from composed. He was a sweaty mess. He managed to pull out just in time before exploding over your abdomen.

He collapsed next to your body, breathing heavily. Jaehyun ran his fingers through his drenched and sweat-filled hair, turning to face you. You managed to cool off enough to meet his gaze and chuckle softly at him. “What was all that for Mr. Jeong?” you teased eyeing the tired man. He chuckled softly blinking a few times at you. “You deserved it silly,” he replied simply.

You shook your head not following what he meant. “I don’t know what you mean sir?”You propped your body up enough to rest your head on the palm of your hand. Jaehyun stared at you in silence for a few moments, taking in everything about you thinking to himself. “My job is to take care of you every way I can. You’re a bit high maintenance you know that Y/N?” he retorted softly engaging his attention on you.

“Ouch.” you fake winced at his words. Jaehyun smiled cheekily kissing your forehead and wrapping his arm around your torso. “You know what I mean baby. Allow me to treat you to the life you deserve.”

It wasn’t an option, he was going to. And he did.

For the next few months, Jaehyun continued doing exactly that. But recently, he treated you to rooftop dinners, movie nights, to wine tastings. Your sponsorship became more exclusive, he invited you over to his house. Sleepovers and dinners became a regular thing on the weekends for you too, and the no sex clause? Consider that good as done.

8:53 AM

It was another Monday morning in the office, in your decorated cubicle, you received an email notification from none other than Jeong Jaehyun, issuing to alert to his office immediately.

You stood up and made your way to his room, knocking politely on the door. “Come in!” he rang from the other side of the door.

You made your way into the office, shutting the door behind you as you sat in your usual spot with a smile plastered on your face. “Good morning Mr. Jeong! You needed to see me?” you cocked your head to the side noticing the blank expression on his face.

Jaehyun faced you and held out a familiar stack of papers, your contract from when you first started being his sugar baby. He cleared his throat before looking into your eyes emotionless. “Ms. Y/N, I think it’s safe to say that I would like to end our contract,” he blankly stated.

Your heart dropped. Why? He was tired of you already? You were so willing and devoted to him. You loved how everything played out for you too, you were even willing to take things further and be more than just a girl he chose to spend his money on. “May I ask why?” you stuttered meekly.

Jaehyun’s face somehow did a complete 180, he lowered his body underneath his desk revealing a bouquet of roses. His dimples were on display and his eyes were sparkling.

“Because I want to be with you.”

ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .*

a/n: last full fic reuploaded! i’ll be starting some new fics soon, can’t wait to share them with u all <3

love, mei!

#jaehyun x reader #jaehyun nct #nct jaehyun #jeong jaehyun #nct x reader #nct fanfic #bts x reader #nct #kpop fanfic #nct imagines #nct smut #kpop smut #nct 127

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queen-of-signs · 3 months ago

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Saturn in Pisces: Who's Swimming and Who's Sinking?

Note: These are all my personal observations and patterns I've noticed through the years reading charts and calculating transits. Not one placement or the houses Saturn aspects are enough to analyze how it would turn out for you. This is based on Vedic/Sidereal Astrology. Lemme know in the comments how Saturn is playing out to you!

Saturn entered Pisces on March 29, 2025.

Saturn starts moving retrograde in Pisces on 13th Jul, 2025.

Saturn starts moving forward in Pisces on 28th Nov, 2025.

Saturn starts moving retrograde in Pisces on 27th Jul, 2026.

Let's focus on from now to late July, 2026.

Before that, Saturn aspects

3rd house from itself (mild influence, but significant for effort and discipline)

7th house from itself (standard aspect like other planets)

10th house from itself (strongest and most powerful aspect)

For Aries Rising, Saturn will be transiting your 12th house and be aspecting 2H, 6H and 9H. Expect lessons around letting go, foreign lands, expenses, and possibly even your sleep cycle asking for a manager. Stay away from legal troubles and take care of your health as it can bring expenses related to medical bills. Aspecting 2H means budgeting becomes your love language. Aspecting 6H means your work ethic is getting a full audit, no shortcuts and no snooze buttons. Round 56 and more as Saturn watches how you manage stress, debt or deadlines. Aspecting 9H means Saturn is side-eyeing those casual philosophies you picked up on Instagram/Internet. Time to find deeper truths.

For Taurus Rising, Saturn will be transiting your 11th house and aspects 1H,5H and 8H. Social circle is under construction. No more freeloaders, only future collaborators. Delayed but built to last. Might feel lonely during retrogression. Aspecting 1H means reality check and slow glow-up and learning self-worth isn't built overnight with material goods or stubbornness. Aspecting 5H means less fun, more productivity. Dating feels restricted as Saturn wants you to focus on your passions which might actually lead to something. Aspecting 8th house means it's time to face your fears and grow up. It's not fun though but transformational. Also read any NDAs or documents before signing and about investments else you'll regret later.

For Gemini Rising, Saturn will be transiting your 10th house and aspects 12H, 4H and 7H. Saturn is your boss now. He can either fire you and get you unemployed or if you do listen to his advice, he'll make you build your career for real and stable. Aspecting 12H means it's time to clean your emotional junk wardrobe. Weird dreams. Aspecting 4H means finally addressing the family dynamics by either improving it or letting go. May involve moving or renovating. Aspecting 7H means commitment is a theme. If it’s shallow, it’ll crack. If it’s real, it’ll strengthen. If single, could attract a serious, mature partner.

For Cancer Rising, Saturn will be transiting your 9th house and aspects 11H, 3H and 6H. Trust the universe is cool but but Saturn’s asking if you’ve read the fine print. Long-distance travel, legal matters, or education might feel slow but they’re shaping your higher purpose. Aspecting 11H means friendships and aspirations are getting a loyalty check. Saturn doesn’t care if someone’s fun at brunch, do they show up when it counts? You might prune your circle, but what’s left will be solid gold. Aspecting 3H means you should think twice before texting/talking. Skills = Power now. Learning new things. Aspecting 6H means finding discipline in the mundane and face your frenemy at work/college/school. Health issues to the father.

For Leo Rising, Saturn will be transiting your 8th house and aspects 10H, 2H and 5H. Saturn’s not here to party, it’s here to purge. You’ll come out stronger, but not without shedding a few layers (and maybe a financial illusion or two). Aspecting 10H means you're here to step up, not to show off. Less spotlight, more strategy. Boss moves only, no shortcuts allowed. Aspecting 2H means your income may stabilize or destabilize and tests your self-worth along the way. Invest in things and people that actually lasts. Aspecting 5H means passion with purpose and love gets serious but fun might require a calendar invite. Inner child/kids need to grow up.

For Virgo Rising, Saturn will be transiting your 7th house and aspects 9H, 1H and 4H. "Either grow up or get out" energy. Saturn wants long-term commitment. Tests your relationship, either survive this else Saturn will break it. Marriage/LTR is possible with a serious and mature partner. Aspecting 9H means your worldview is being audited. Time to make your daydreams come true in real life. Good time to move far away for career/education. Aspecting 1H means being Responsible with a capital R. Saturn's here to make you emotionally mature with a ''main character'' energy. Establishing boundaries and building serious reputation too. Aspecting 4H means family dynamics may feel heavier or you might even become the bread winner of the family. Might involve home improvement or moving away with family.

For Libra Rising, Saturn will be transiting your 6th house and aspects 8H, 12H and 3H. Saturn is now your personal trainer, life coach, and micromanaging boss rolled into one. Your daily routines, health habits, and work ethic are up for review. It’s less about balance and more about boundaries. Lazy patterns are getting evicted. Aspecting 8H means it's time to get real about your emotional baggage and bank accounts. expect deep healing, financial restructuring, and maybe one or two “shadow work” moments. Aspecting 12H means Saturn's asking you to deal with what you’ve been avoiding. Expect moments of mental breakdowns and get ready for a powerful detox session. Your dreams, thoughts, your screen time are all talking to you now. Aspecting 3H means only serious talks and words that carry weight. Sibling relationships gets either serious and stable or cutting off ties.

For Scorpio Rising, Saturn will be transiting your 5th house and aspects 7H, 11H and 2H. Saturn is your strictest teacher now. No more scribbles, think long-term projects and actual deadlines. This is where love, art, and pleasure go from spontaneous to sustainable. Oh, and parenting is a responsibility. Aspecting 7H means relationships if it’s shallow, it may fade. If it’s built on trust and effort? You’re in it for the long haul. If single, signals a potential love partner which can lead to marriage/LTR. Aspecting 11H means your network and friendships are being refined for alignment, not popularity. Dream big but plain like an accountant. Aspecting 2H means possible financial losses and regrets over past investments/partnerships. Saturn says: earn it, own it, and don’t waste it.

For Sagittarius Rising, Saturn will be transiting your 4th house and aspects 6H, 10H and 1H. Saturn is checking for family cracks. This could bring moves, renovations, or just a karmic deep-clean of your past. Emotional maturity is non-negotiable under Saturn's Terms and Conditions. Aspecting 6H means work might feel heavier but you'll learn to manage it like a pro. Adulting required and it's advisable to stay healthy and get annual checkups. Aspecting 10H means your professional life is under construction and better be serious about your legacy. Promotions come with pressure, but if you’re willing to work smart, the rewards are long-term and legit. Aspecting 1H means saturn's giving your identity a karmic polish. It's not about reinvention, it's about refinement.

For Capricorn Rising, Saturn will be transiting your 3rd house and aspects 5H, 9H and 12H. Your mind is now under Saturn’s syllabus. Communication, learning, writing, siblings, short trips are all getting structured, sharpened, and stripped of fluff. No more mental multitasking or hot takes as Saturn’s here for deep thoughts and meaningful words + sibling accountability. Aspecting 5H means your idea of fun is evolving. Passion needs a plan. Casual flings or such are a no-no. Aspecting 9H means your personal philosophies and beliefs go through a karmic cleanse. Saturn asks you to prove it, live it and practice it. Long-distance travel, studies, or legal matters may require more effort. Aspecting 12H means old fears, hidden / destructive habits, and spiritual baggage are getting reviewed. Some things (or people) may need to go.

For Aquarius Rising, Saturn will be transiting your 2nd house and aspects 4H, 8H and 11H. Expect slow but steady income growth if you're playing the long game. Also: if you’ve been outsourcing self-worth to your paycheck, Saturn’s gonna call that bluff. Good time for investments. Aspecting your 4H means emotional security can’t be borrowed and it’s gotta be built. Saturn may bring responsibilities at home or with family, but also the chance to finally feel grounded. Aspecting 8H means Saturn’s putting structure around how you share and what you hide. You may not like being vulnerable, but guess what? That’s the assignment. Aspecting 11H means you might outgrow your circle and the ones left are solid. Saturn’s teaching you that your community should support your growth, not distract from it.

For Pisces Rising, Saturn will be transiting your ascendant and aspects 3H, 7H and 10H. Your glow-up isn't aesthetic, it's existential. Stepping into a whole new version of yourself in the end that's built to last. Boundaries are now your best friends. No more people-pleasing, no more drifting. This is your "main character" arc. Aspecting 3H means every word, post, and thought is getting filtered through Saturn’s “is this necessary?” test. Expect to daydream less and say more. Sharp mental focus. Aspecting 7H means relationships if it’s flaky, Saturn flakes it out. You’re craving grounded, mature connection and marriage/LTR is serious commitment built on structure not hopes and dreamy vibes. Aspecting 10H means Saturn's your publicist now to reshape your public persona. Career progress may be slow/fluctuating, but when it hits, it’s solid. Legacy moves only.

Wanna go deeper into the layers of your placements? DM me for a complete astrology reading or a 5 year/8 year marriage report or synastry reading🌙💬 and check out my pinned post for pricing + details 💫💸

Let’s decode your cosmic chaos together ⭐

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sirfrogsworth · 6 months ago

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The Anger Returned

This is probably the most hurtful and infuriating paragraph I've ever read...

"As for taking care of dad. We offered many times to find a place for you and dad to live closer to us so that we could take dad to his appointments and have some skilled care available. He didn't want to leave you at the house alone, so my wife searched high and low for a place that could take both of you. Dad was open to moving closer to us and had said he would have done so on several occasions but you were unwilling to give up the house and ultimately dad said no based on your opposition to moving and that you both would remain at the house. You make it sound like you were taking on this burden to relieve the pressure off me, but in reality this was the only way to retain the house for you after dad's passing. Because if you were unable to care for Dad the current situation would be very different."

That is one of the last things my brother said to me way back in August of 2023.

I don't understand how two people can be so oblivious to what is involved in taking care of a dying person.

Taking him to his appointments was probably the easiest part. And that is what they were willing to personally contribute.

And "skilled care"? What does that mean? A nurse? House cleaning?

Within my dad's budget, we could have maybe afforded someone to come a few times per week. That would have been almost no help to me at all. Plus, they could have sent "skilled care" to this house. Why was that dependent on moving closer?

It feels like they think appointments and having someone come over for a few hours here and there is all it took to care for my father.

But accusing me of wanting to stay put so I could "retain the house."

I still don't know how to process that anger.

It repeats in my head in a loop. Sometimes I will forget about it for a few weeks. Maybe a month. And then tonight it just started looping in my head again.

First, my dad lied. He kinda screwed me. He probably didn't know he was screwing me. But he did not want to leave this house. He was surrounded by my mom's things. He thought her spirit was still here. He talked to her at night when he was trying to fall asleep. I don't think he knew I could hear him.

Oh, and he threatened to kill himself if we tried to move him out of this house. So there was that, too.

But he lied and blamed it on me so my brother would stop pressuring him to move. I get it. But it gave my brother an excuse to blame me. A way to justify away his guilt. Sure, he was only 45 minutes away. But if he were only 5 minutes away, that would have somehow solved everything.

My dad couldn't go to a nursing home because he was neglected so badly in rehab (which is a nursing home) that he had to call the police on them. He said "I'll die before I go back to one of those places."

And the fact they were even considering that just shows you how out of touch they were with the situation.

And, yes, I didn't want to move. That is true. But it had nothing to do with "retaining the house." I thought the stressful process of moving would kill my dad. And I asked the doctor what moving could do to my dad's health and he said, without hesitation, "Oh yeah, that would have killed him."

Beyond that, they had no plan. They didn't say how we were going to get our belongings out of the house. How were we supposed to handle the realtor or open houses? It took me months to configure this place to my dad's needs. Were they going to help me do that in a tiny apartment? Were they going to find my dad new doctors and a new pharmacy?

I built an entire infrastructure around this house to take care of my dad. They talk about all this work they did googling apartments but they did no research or planning on how to actually move us. Was that up to me? Was I supposed to figure all that out while giving him 24/7 care?

I was watching a new show called The Pitt and it had a woman taking care of her elderly mom. And she was so overwhelmed she abandoned her at the ER. And I started crying because that is so real. Taking care of a dying person is nonstop stress.

I had to watch my dad go to the bathroom every single time to make sure he didn't fall. Which meant I never slept through the night.

Not once.

I slept on a mattress on the floor next to the hallway so every time he got up, I would wake up. And if he fell, I would pick him up. In the final few months he could not tuck himself back into bed. So 4 times per night I had to get up, watch him pee, arrange his pillows so they supported his back, pull up the covers, and then tuck them under the pillows so they wouldn't move. He was so uncomfortable all the time and that was the only way he could fall asleep.

And those were the *easy* days.

The hard days involved cleaning up pee and poop. Sometimes blood. Sometimes mystery fluids. Before I got the special lifting device, if he fell, I had to literally drag him to his electronic reclining chair so we could use the footrest to help get him up again. I once had to drag him through two rooms and hurt my back for a week. I probably should have called EMS, but I didn't know my back would go out until it was too late.

And then there were the delirium days where he talked and didn't make any sense. How do you take care of someone you can't communicate with? He had a dead toe that needed lotion applied. Nearly made me puke every time. And then there was the time the urologist had to open up his urethra. With a metal spike. My dad screamed so loud I nearly had a panic attack. Every person in that office heard him scream.

But I think his depression was probably the hardest to deal with. He had a son that never spoke to him. Never visited. And a granddaughter he only met a few times. He cried himself to sleep so many nights. Sometimes it was so bad I had to lie with him in bed and just rub his back until he fell asleep. He was so lonely without my mom. And I tried to be good company, but I was often too tired to give him any attention beyond his care.

When things were hardest he would get suicidal. And considering his quality of life, I didn't blame him. Sometimes I regret keeping him alive as long as I did. He was ready to go as soon as he lost his wife. But we both held out hope my brother would wake the fuck up and realize there was not much time to make amends. To say goodbye. To install core memories of my dad in his daughter's mind. So she'd at least have one grandparent to remember.

It never happened and I feel guilty for letting him live so long in misery when deep down I knew that hope was foolish.

That's the kind of shit no one knows or thinks about when it comes to caregiving. The easy days are hard and the hard days are impossible and you feel awful for feeling overwhelmed because you aren't the one miserable and dying. Dialysis is nearly barbaric.

For over a year, I barely slept at night. And the only time I could get uninterrupted sleep was when he was at dialysis. So the only time I ever had to myself, I had to use sleeping so I wouldn't burn out.

Hiring a "skilled worker" does nothing to help me with that. And no nursing home is going to give him that kind of care.

Only love can give someone that kind of care.

My brother doesn't think I saved him from any burden by taking care of my dad. I just wish I could figure out a way to show him just how incorrect that is.

If I refused to take care of my dad and left it all in my brother's hands, he would have put him in a nursing home and burned through all of my dad's money in a few months. Then he'd either have to pay for his care or take him in.

Was he going to watch my dad pee 4 times a night and tuck him in?

Those who have never taken care of someone like this... have you ever thought deeply about what is involved? Does your common sense tell you it is a little more than driving to appointments and hiring a "skilled worker"?

Why does my brother (and my uncles) think so little of my efforts?

I honestly thought it was common knowledge that taking care of a dying person was super duper hard.

It was the hardest thing I will ever do. And the thing I am most proud of accomplishing. And for some reason I still want my brother to say thank you. I don't know how to find closure without that gratitude. And I'm pretty sure it will never happen.

191 notes · View notes

mysteryanimator · 4 months ago

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Breaking down Castlevania Nocturne Season 02 - Episode 08 “The Devil is Easy to Cheat” Almost Shot-By-Shot

Previous shot analyses: S01E04 - Bedroom scene / S01E06 - Gulity Men to be Judged / S01 E08 -Breakup

Word count: 8.2k (I'm sorry it keeps getting longer)

We have returned once again to “mystery uses their media production and analysis skills, along with their hyperfixation on storyboards to talk about gay vampires, their other hyperfixation”.

For people new to my breakdowns:

If I skip any shots, its because I'm limited to a 30-image limit and some parts just won't have images BUT I will try my best!

I highly advise you to rewatch Nocturne after reading this and make your own thoughts because while this is an analysis, it also comes through my own lens. How you engage with media will be very different to me, however, there are principles that are followed to elicit certain types of emotions from an overall perspective. I'm here to break down those film codes and artistic principles :D I will be drawing over some of them, while others will be moving.

These are just observations based on my background in media production and analysis (I’ve been out of the field for a bit but trying to strengthen it back since it is important for storyboarding). Despite all of that, this is for fun, which is why I will be writing a lot more casually (which therefore specific interpretations may bleed through), so please don't take this too seriously! This not only helps me out as a student to become aware of how stories are put together and, in turn, how to apply them and make my own. It also allows me to impart that excitement to you and helps everyone to understand why they might be so drawn to a particular scenes (me included)! Shot choices matter, especially when you have only 12 episodes, a deadline, a budget, asset restrictions, and so on. It all has to count. Everything matters.

Passionate creatives care and there is more than "the curtain is blue just because." The times when things slip under the radar and are put there just because are mostly due to executive decisions, budget restrictions, deadlines and a lot more that we don't get to see from an audience perspective. I think in this day and age, people do forget about how intentional the media they consume is and Castlevania is choked full of carefully curated scenes.

With that out of the way, let's talk about gay vampires !!!

[Can't believe we're starting with no image. I can't show it due to image limits, I'm saving them for other scenes. Feel free to follow along on Netflix!]

After Edouard and Annette's conversation, we have shots of buildings. This is to establish a jump in time and a new scene occurring! Showcasing this large building is important because we cut to Olrox carrying Mizrak after this, and once you mentally pair that with this large building, it'll sink in that Olrox has been walking with Mizrak in his arms for a while now. We do not know what happened from the time we saw Mizrak walking side by side with Olrox to now, but we know he's getting worse for wear.

Then we get a close-up of a window!! Mizrak and Olrox scenes in season 01 were either introduced through pulled-out establishing shots that contained a lot of greenery (the courtyard in ep 03 / the breakup hill in ep 08) OR via windows of the inn. This gets continued here.

We get candles too and fire symbolizes life and we've already had Olrox state how his previous lover "burned with such passion". These candles supernaturally light up, which builds to foreshadow the transformation Mizrak will have as he goes from dying to being "alive" through supernatural means.

The following midshot purposefully cuts off their faces to continue to build suspense. Having a lack of face means we're unable to connect to them which is intentional. It makes us yearn to connect deeper because we can clearly see something is absolutely wrong. Mizrak isn't walking. This is super uncharacteristic of Mizrak and doesn't align with what we saw last.

[omg yay an image]

This is a midshot in which the camera moves from top to bottom/bottom to top. This type of camera movement is called a pedestal, though I have seen it be called a boom/jib. For any general camera movements, whether that be the aforementioned pedestal or a pan, the camera has to be motivated by something in the scene to move in that direction. So what is the motivator for this specific camera movement in this shot? The order of who we see in the shot.

It begins with Mizrak because now we finally have a clear view of him and he practically encompasses most of the screen because he's horizontal and how we view shows is with a landscape screen. Immediately the first half of this shot tells us two things. It's Mizrak and Mizrak is dying. It's something we need to immediately pick up on because the camera begins to move up. After all, a particular face is cut off. It's Olrox's. The second part of this shot has us reveal it is Olrox who is carrying Mizrak and what expression he's making. Dividing up our focus and moving the camera makes it less overwhelming to us as an audience to engage with this scene because it lets us focus on one thing at a time and builds up a shock factor. This is helped by the fact that the first focus point is horizontal, then when the camera moves up to shift focus, Olrox is dead center vertical.

This also feels like a reference to La Pietà. It is a sculpture of Jesus and Mary depicting the Seven Sorrows of the Virgin Mary. La Pietà depicts the sixth, John 19:39-40. Jesus is being taken down from the cross and put into Mary's arms. While the death is over, Mary still grieves the loss of her son. What follows after this is the seventh sorrow as she watches Christ's burial waiting for his resurrection which feels very in line with what's happening right now.

[no image my bad sorry for the long wall of text]

Next, we have an extreme close-up of Olrox's eyes.

Eyes are a massive thing within this scene alone, and this shot here helps to establish his current thoughts and feelings because they take Olrox's eyes away after this. We no longer become privy to his inner world. Eyes are by far one of the easiest tells of a character and their current thoughts. Eyes are the window to the soul. Mizrak also in previous scenes has a ton of focus and close-ups of his eyes because he is such a guarded character but his eyes do tend to betray him. The exact same thing can be said for Olrox (his eyes betray him with Drolta when he lies about not seeing Belmont and co, won't lie, it's really funny).

One thing to note is the asymmetry of his hair, which never usually falls in front of his face. This is where I bring your attention in season 02, Drolta and Ezerbet questioned what Olrox has sacrificed. What or who he would die for. His hair has fallen in front of his face VERY MESSYILY in that instance as he looks down in deep thought. While there are other instances of his hair in front of his face, the example I brought up is personally the strongest call back (however I can be totally wrong and there can be more!)

Not only big wide expansive shots are used to establish new locations, close-ups do! They're usually always followed up by much wider shots, however. The purpose here is to show Olrox entering a new location, and moving from the hallway to the bedroom. This is super important to establish because this is the final leg of the journey they both have to traverse. We need to see them get from point A to point B or else it does not feel as impactful. The silent moments matter heavily for this type of scene because they say a lot.

Also, I'm a sucker for these types of compositions/lighting, it's actually one of my favorite shots in this scene. The doorway literally frames Olrox into a box and it keeps him centered in the shot. As he walks through, it is purposefully dark around him and the only light that peeks through is from behind. Backlighting a character not only helps to distinctly separate the character from the background, it often gives a halo effect which is associated with the divine and otherworldly. It can establish how powerful a character is. HOWEVER, Olrox is walking Mizrak away from the light, which can further strengthen Mizrak's descent into vampirism as it can be considered turning away from God due to the inability to accept human ailments and death.

This is a wide shot to establish the interior we're in. It's absolutely used to contrast the much smaller inn room in season 01 episode 03. The beginning of their relationship versus the end. The camera here uses a truck movement (the camera moving side to side, in this case, left to right). Its intention is to follow Olrox and draw our eye towards the bed in this scene, as this is where the rest of the scene will take place.

Now, if you’ve read my previous analyses, you will know how much talk about Olrox holding Mizrak from behind. It’s a key characteristic, it is so important to see their mental states as characters.

Olrox right now is holding Mizrak from behind. Except this time, Mizrak is accepting it.

The first time Olrox holds Mizrak from behind is he tries to persuade him out of death. The second (and third) time Olrox holds Mizrak from behind is to forcibly tear him away from death. This is the last time Olrox holds him from behind because he’s actively dying. though in this instance, instead of persuading or forcibly trying to pull him away from death- it’s him ending up gently carrying him away from death. Or one could even argue, that Olrox is actually gently taking Mizrak towards his death instead of preventing it. Death to his human self and his man-made chains.

While Mizrak never explicitly states “yes bite me turn me into a vampire”, and the room for ambiguity is there, there is an acceptance from Mizrak that begins the moment we see him in Olrox’s arms. Time and time again, we have seen Mizrak constantly fighting against Olrox, either by physically pulling away or saying the most horrific things known to man. This is entirely different. He’s being carried the ENTIRE WAY to the bed without fighting Olrox. His posture is a lot more open and exposed towards Olrox. He in this moment is giving himself up to him.

Why another wide shot? For the boxes lets gooo, Myst loves boxes and frames.

This shot uses the setting to frame Olrox and Mizrak. The bedframe acts to box them in and create a small space just for the two of them outside the view of anyone else. The background behind them showcases the hallway Olrox traversed and its length emphasizes the distance Olrox has been walking just for Mizrak to lay and rest.

By the way, why I'm wording what Mizrak tells Olrox as a confession later in this analysis is because of this shot. This deeply reminds me of the Anglo-Catholic practice of private confessionals. It feels like Olrox is here as a higher judgment, sitting and listening to Mizrak's confession of penitent. The boxing-in of the shots and how private it is begins to deeply feel like a confessional.

A close-up! While an extreme close-up is where the creative behind the shot forces you to focus on one thing, a normal close-up is usually aimed at the face and intended to communicate what the character is feeling or their current headspace with a whole facial performance. So, as you could probably surmise from this shot, what the artist intends to communicate a few things:

Olrox putting him down (neck area)

Mizrak breathing raggedly (mouth)

Mizrak opened his eyes to look at Olrox (top of face)

Mizrak is SO GREY, he lacks proper colour (overall face)

So for all of that to be seen, a close-up is needed.

Ok, why punch into an extreme close-up here if we already have a close-up of Mizrak in the exact same pose? This one solely focuses on his eyes. As I stated with Olrox's eye close-up, eyes are a massive thing in this wholeee section, so now it's Mizrak's turn for a eye close-up. Especially since for the remainder for this, Olrox does not show his face and Mizrak basically communicates for the both of them. The way Mizrak talks and looks at Olrox is an indication of how Olrox could be feeling.

Also, how can you not have an eye shot paired with the line "You've seen the devil, then, waiting for me." This falls into place really well.

This midshot does a lot of things, more importantly, it establishes where characters are in the scene because, for the rest of this entire section, it is basically all close-ups. This helps to ground where everything is because later on, Mizrak gets panicked. In turn, the camera and timing match that, therefore we can begin to lose our sense of where we are WHICH is a good thing to sell that idea, however, we need to establish where everything is before that is done.

This also establishes Olrox is just never going to be showing his face until the very end because now the camera has locked itself to this side of the characters.

Another thing is also how Mizrak's wound is practically in the middle of the shot. It is more clearly obvious that the wound is straight in the middle of where the cross is on his uniform. Mizrak in a funny not so funny way, is being martyred. He is dying refusing to give up his faith or beliefs. While he is defined by his religion because that's a core aspect of his character, he actually mostly believes in the people. He believes and cares strongly for characters like Maria who neither of them politically align together, but he makes sure she gets to her house. He wants her safe.

This midshot is very important because while Olrox's face is purposefully obscured, Mizrak's face never does. What's interesting is that Mizrak is looking directly at Olrox as he braves his confession of weakness. Not only is Mizrak's eyeline just up toward him, but Olrox's body is just purposefully included in this shot. When Mizrak continues to confess his fears further into this scene, in the back of our minds we have the fact Olrox is intently listening the entire time even though he is shunning himself away from the audience. For the next three shots, he literally disappears from the audience's perspective, but not from Mizrak's eye line. His current expression when listening to him is literally just for Mizrak to know.

These are all extreme close-ups! The purpose of this is to directly have you focused a very specific reaction and emotion! The main focus of the first shot is to solely focus on Mizrak's eyes looking directly at Olrox, then him looking down and away from his face before getting scared literally the moment his eyes move off him and he looks back up at him. Multiple different reads of the situation can be applied here since why Mizrak looks down is not exactly stated to us. One thing I will say is that what motivates a character to move their eyes down another character's body is to literally check their body, either for attraction or concern.

Mizrak is dying here though. Why does his eyes drop? It can be for a multitude of different reason but the most likely is the self-actualisation of the eternity of torment.

What's important too is that in the second shot, Mizrak's hand shakes before stopping. We need to see that. Especially paired with that specific line because his shakes stop after saying "no release", which is basically a visual contradiction. Having something visually stop while having a dialogue about unending pain and suffering. To me personally, this hand movement can read as two things, though there are definitely more interpretations, these are my two takes based on different focuses.

Tremors are caused by fear, but he however can control them which is why it stops. This is his last attempt to feel like he has control over his situation. This is based off the fact the line contradicts the action taking place.

This isn't him shaking, this is him fighting himself to reach out to Olrox physically. His hands can be read as clenching and unclenching rather than tremors. This is based off the idea of how visually Mizrak is alone in these shots and Olrox's presence in a is absent (but can be sensed he is outside of our line of sight).

Hey so, fun fact, this has happened before. Extreme close up of hands/eyes whilst they talk about demons/hell. BOTH SIDE PROFILE TOO.

Again, hands and eyes are key indicators of how characters can feel in the moment, and the character Mizrak uses this to great effect since it pairs very well with his guarded persona.

Also oh my god look at him being so full of colour compared to now.

A close-up! It is probably one of the most vital shots in this entire sequence (alongside Olrox's iconic line). Mizrak cries A LOT in this season, but here, he purposefully doesn't try to hide or turn away- he admits this while staring directly at him.

An important detail is that his dialogue of torture and agony are all solo shots. Alone. This is on purpose. This confession of fear is also visually alone, but he calls out to Olrox by name in this solo shot. What this does is that it gives permission for Olrox to re-enter the scene, hell, you could argue Mizrak is begging Olrox to re-enter the scene. Technically, Olrox has not left the scene because Mizrak stares at him the entire time during his confession, but Olrox has left the audience's line of sight, which makes Mizrak's shots feel that much more isolated and alone.

This is a personal take, but it also has evidence. This is one of the bravest things Mizrak has said thus far in the entire series. His bravery and strength should not be measured by running into battle to protect the ones who cannot protect themselves- his measure of courage and strength lies in being vulnerable and admitting weakness. I actually discussed it in my season 01 - episode 04 analysis, so the groundwork for shielding vulnerability only for it to be opened up has been there from the very beginning. There is build-up and now it's being released all in one go, which is really interesting considering the fact Mizrak talks about agony upon agony with no release, but here, he's releasing all of his emotions.

Mizrak has also said Olrox’s name about three times now. That is the exact amount Olrox said Mizrak’s name in the last season. Funnily enough if you squint hard enough they can be call and responses to each other.

S01E03 - “Has the world abandoned you, Mizrak?”

S02E04 - “I’ve seen enough too, Olrox.” (girl what have you seen please tell us)

S01E06 - “Of course not Mizrak, I’m not in love with you.”

S02E05 - “If you do have soul Olrox, and maybe you do. I hope it finds peace.”

S01E08 - “I don’t want you to die, Mizrak.”

S02E08 - “I’m afraid, Olrox.”

In any visual entertainment medium, repetition comes in threes so something has to happen after this, which we'll get to very shortly (it's the "my love" part).

This close-up of Olrox is used to slow down the scene and break the tension caused by Mizrak's scenes. It's utterly silent, a complete contrast to the panic and the wordy confession by Mizrak.

What this shot does is help build anticipation for him to share the screen space with Mizrak as he lowers himself in this shot. We're also not privy to his face. This also builds up the anticipation of seeing his face later on and really hammers that impact.

This shot is very important as it reintroduces Olrox to be in the same visual space as Mizrak and this is the very first thing he does.

When reintroducing Olrox back in, two new things are introduced. Well more so not new things, two pre-existing motifs/concepts get elevated.

Hands. This is not new, hell, Olrox holding Mizrak is by far not a new thing and it is one of the key visual characteristics of their dynamic, hand-holding however, is definitely new.

"My love", is absolutely very new, but of course it is a replacement for Mizrak. Mizrak's name gets elevated to my love.

What's also very interesting is how pulled out this shot is. This is important however as two different elements are here to strengthen this shot.

Mizrak's entire dagger is in this shot. A weapon of violence is here to contrast the gentle nature of Olrox reaching for Mizrak's hand. The matter of fact that the dagger is placed in this shot BUT lacks any very heavy visual weight implies how any agony, torture, or violence is currently being subsided as Olrox's hand is in front of it.

The bed sheet takes up a major part of the lower thirds of this shot. Take notice of it's colour and pattern. I do go over it in my mindless talks about the Nocturne eye colour analysis, but I'll reword it to fit the context of this scene in particular.

Olrox is coded purple and green. Not only in his character design, but in the locations he's often put in. If you think back to every single space Olrox has shared with Mizrak they are all green. Mostly grassy outdoor environments, however, if they are not outside, the inn is very naturalistic in colour and framing like nature itself. This showcases where Olrox is compared to Mizrak in a power dynamic. Mizrak just does not have any strong vibrant colours to define him that aren't monochromatic or brown, but that's kind of the whole point of his character. This just easily allows for when he shares a space with Olrox, the green and any other vibrant colour to overwhelm Mizrak, and in a funny way, make Mizrak stand out very oddly because Mizrak isn't visually a vibrant character.

So this one shot, it basically informs us how Olrox is wrapped around Mizrak and is not willing to let go.

This is shot is so impactfullllllll, the build up to this is soooo good.

This is a close-up shot, what's important though is how much Olrox visually takes up screen space-wise, completely contrasting the previous shot. Especially since this is the first time we haven't seen his face in a while. This shot chooses to specifically focus on Olrox's eyes and mouth. This builds to anticipate what is to come and have us on the edge of our seats, questioning if Olrox is going to actually bite Mizrak. The closeness of the shot too makes this scene very intimate to continue this more romantic, yet still dark atmosphere going on.

Also what's important to mention again is Olrox's hair strands, which is used to block and frame this shot. In a sense, it makes the shot that much more suffocating and close in. While Olrox does not show any panic or fear emotionally, simply because Olrox is trying to comfort Mizrak, this feels like Olrox is in fear. By having this line paired with a close-up of Olrox only, it makes it feel like Olrox is locked to the one sole option. His sole decision. He's currently not going to be taking any other suggestions because how can he? Mizrak admitted his fear of death/hell, and by no means Olrox is giving into Mephistopheles/Old Man Coyote.

What choice does he have? He has no other choice... right?

The theme of choices is a massive thing in Nocturne Season 01. Olrox's first appearance in the show is with him says "don't listen to her, there is always a choice". Olrox is the one to introduce this theme of choices, but here now, Olrox is backed into a corner with no other choice.

[No image sorry]

Next we have a close-up of Mizrak's eyes.

While this will not be the last we ever see of Mizrak's eyes since we have another shot, his eyes are important. This reaction is important. We need the pause for the gasp and his shock. What's important is that his eyes do all the talking which in my mind is much more powerful as it communicates ten different billion things and leaves it up to the audience's interpretation of how to engage with this scene.

However, the most important takeaway for everyone is that we have to see Mizrak be shocked.

This is important because of course, a close-up of the mouth is there to state how Olrox is going to bite him, therefore you need to put a lot of emphasis on that to really hammer it in, but the focus of the mouth moves. It does not move with Olrox however, Olrox moves himself and out of the camera. This puts emphasis on his descent, really building for that anticipation of the bite but it gives us one last tiny glance at Olrox's mental headspace before the bite.

It is so brief, but we see his eye and that's important. You don't include anything that isn't important because this is a serialised animated series, you're not going to spend additional time on something that lacks importance (I think, this is me guessing I can be so wrong here). Also, his eyes are green they're going to stand out against black and brown. His eyebrow is upturned and his eye, from what i can personally read, is far more gentler than his previous shot.

(i won't lie, seeing this loop is very funny to me)

Another close up and this is the final time we see Mizrak's very brown human irises. This is the last thing we see of his humanity. This is animation, so it's important to capture Mizrak's face before the bite, Mizrak's initial shock of pain and some sort of acceptance as his irises settle back to normal size before closing them with tears. Honestly, it's better to just click through it on Netflix frame by frame if you really want to see the arcs Mizrak goes through in this one shot, its very cool to see him go through all these phases in a short amount of time. While nothing is stated outright for the morally grey area which is on purpose. It builds off the whole conversation from the season 01 episode 06.

Mizrak: And you did that to him? Did you even ask for permission?

Olrox: I was in love with him, I wanted him to be with me forever.

Mizrak: And is that what you have planned for me?

Olrox: Of course not, Mizrak. I'm not in love with you.

This leads to one of two outcomes for the future. Either Olrox repeating a cycle beat for beat, or Olrox trying to fix previous mistakes in a "what would I do differently if I went through this again." Both come from his survivor's guilt. This will be explored further in season 03 (please I need it so bad) in a much more complicated nuanced way because this is Mizrak we're talking about. Despite him having overlapping traits with Olrox's previous lover, he is also the very opposite of him (that we know of since we can gather Mizrak is so self-loathing, while Olrox's previous lover embraced his connection to the land and fought for the rights of his people, so we can make the assumption that he embraced his whole identity).

This mid-shot paired with another pedestal camera move! The camera is motivated to move up so it can showcase the new character positions in the location, Mizrak's hand placement, Olrox's arm and of course the biteeee, followed by Mizrak's expression. It's staggered one after the other.

One thing you must notice is Mizrak putting a hand on Olrox's elbow (this gif makes it so hard to see, this is me asking you to rewatch it on Netflix for a better view) which can imply acceptance of vampirism. It's animated intentionally. Again, nothing is stated outright, but also media is kind of boring to engage in if you spell it out verbally. What's the point of a visual medium without using visuals to a storyyyy. It also just gives autonomy to the audience to come to their own conclusions which is also more fun. The lack of a spelled-out answer makes us more engaged as an audience.

Then we get a fade to blackkkkkkk~

While this is mostly just to symbolize the end of a scene, in a lot of other media, fade to black is used to cut away from sexually intimate scenes which is funny knowing that context.

What's fun is that this scene is supposed to run parallel with Richter and Annette's scene kissing (I'm not sure, there could been a stronger scene to parallel this, I just know in my soul of them is supposed to go in line with a Richter/Annette scene). One character takes care of their partner's aliments and sharing an intimate moment together. Whilst they are definitely not one-for-one, these two couples are supposed to show different aspects of love as this entire series, both the original and Nocturne, have very strong themes of love in it. This also just allows for whatever they have planned for season 03 to make them still feel closely tied even if they're literally doing completely different things.

Ok we are done with this sequence, time to jump to the spicy one!

This is our establishing shot for the scene. Curtains. A window. Through both season 01 and season 02, we’ve been getting so many cues about Olrox and Mizrak’s association with windows and curtains. Also, the last time we saw curtains as an establishing shot for Mizrak/Olrox, they were naked. This builds off our previous expectations.

Also, this is super vertical and red. This will be VERY IMPORTANT LATER. Greenish yellow curtains were used to represent Olrox, but this is red.

We jump to pedestal midshot, which just gives us a lot of questions. Where's Mizrak? WHY IS HIS SHIRT OPEN? WHY IS HE LAYING LIKE THAT? NEW CLOTHES??? WHAT'S GOING ON??? That's all intentional because we don't have any setting establishing shots and therefore it feels disorientating on purpose. It forces us into questioning mode. We can only presume we're in the same location due to the bed and camera angle feeling the exact same as where we left off in their previous scene together, but that's all we get.

Pedestal camera movements also just happen a ton in this sequence simply because Mizrak's reveal is all ton in pedestals and it complements nicely with the fabric falling down, so setting up the movement early helps ease it in.

This shot can also totally parallel season 01 episode 04 where Olrox turns to look at Mizrak leaving the bed since both of those shots are framed above Olrox. This can also totally parallel Olrox killing Julia as his hair is in a circular motion in a similar shape to the blood.

@ifishouldvanish did an amazing breakdown of this and for the life of me I cannot find it, but once that's found I'll link it here, in a sense it's basically offering his blood up to Mizrak here.

EDIT: Thank you Vanish for sharing it! This comments the Olrox/Julia parallel along with discussing the Quetzalcoatl and how they overlap with what's occurring in this scene! You can read it here!

We cut into this close-up! The main thing here is directing our eye-line to stay on the left of the screen and build anticipation for Mizrak's face. Every single shot's aim is mostly for that build-up for that pay off.

Close-ups, as I've stated before, are used mainly to see an emotional performance from the character and therefore personally connect to their feelings. This however, which I will be personally honest, is so hard to read but I feel that's on purpose to give into the ambiguity aspect of not only the scene but also of Olrox as a character. Both Olrox and Mizrak are expressive and extremely very guarded, so it definitely leans into that. It also gives the audience the autonomy to come to their own conclusions. Like this can read as a very gentle smile, it can read as a subdued concerned look- it's your interpretation and how you personally engage with this entire sequence. It allows the ending to be a lot more open-ended.

This longshot! It gives more of the background to establish where characters are in the scene but do notice how things seem different now. Notice the colours in this shot. We're introducing Mizrak's new colour motif. It practically dominates the entire scene, even if Olrox's eyes glow bright green. Not only this, this shot builds up for the anticipation of Mizrak's vampire transformation reveal as all the red fabric drapes down in an almost waterfall/dripping way akin to blood.

We also begin to have the fabric move down, bleeding into other shots to stitch them cohesively together (that pun was intended).

Also, this is super intentional again, but Olrox is boxed/framed by the bed with very harsh lines and rectangles. This deeply contrasts Mizrak's shots because Mizrak doesn't visually get confined by the background due to all the drapery and the blurred background. He is also associated with vertical organic lines. This creates a deep separation between these two characters, giving us suspense and tension because there's a clear disparity between them.

Woo! A midshot! This shot feels so long and so short in timing.

This is super vertical. This shot is 90% made of vertical lines, which brings a ton of focus toward Mizrak's back and the drapery because they're the only two things that are not vertical.

The drapery here is basically a curtain unveiling the main piece. This is Mizrak's rebirth, he has transformed. This is coupled with artistic nudity as nudity isn't inherently sexual and represents the form in its barest sense. You could even say it's religiously coded.

Also in general, if you put anything on the very edge of your shot visually, it creates unease so if you put something as bright as light on the very edge, it makes your shot unbalanced. This is done on purpose. The dark aspect of this shot is literally all-consuming and makes the left heavy focus feel more menacing because there's so much empty dark space.

This mid-shot is paired with a pedestal camera move! The camera is motivated to move in an up/down position due to the last shot having the robe fabric around him move down as a reveal, therefore continuing that movement here to continue the reveal of Mizrak’s transformation. While yes "teehee look at his chest awooga", rightfully so, me too, you notice the blood and wound are absent. Mizrak looks strong and healthy. The pedestal camera movement is used to great effect again because the first thing you're focused on is his chest, then it moves up and you see the bite marks and the ear. Information is slowly given to us.

I'm putting my case down that this shot is a callback to Season 01 Episode 03, in which Olrox peers outside the window of his inn room. They both have this same forlorn look as they look out.

This cut to a close-up and having Mizrak switch up is fucking terrifying. This is because the background is completely blurred to give Mizrak the center stage. The background is completely separate to him, he doesn't feel grounded to it as if he's popping out of the screen. His eyeline is directly at US, the audience.

When Mizrak turns, his eyes glow bright red. We've seen this before where someone turns their head and their eyes shift from their natural colour to bright red. In-fact, Mizrak has seen this before.

Tera does this BEFORE with Emmanuel too when he insinuates on Tera's vampirism affecting her love for Maria. Another example, while not as strong (simply because the freshly turned vampire comparison) is Ezerbet demanding Emmanuel to bring back Drolta but all of these points of contention surround love and so-called monsters having souls.

Side note, it's very interesting that she yells at Emmanuel, but cries over Mizrak's comment and her red eyes disappear. Obviously, the stark difference is that Emmanuel literally sacrificed her, but it showcases that Tera and Mizrak probably were close friends since he makes sure to actively protect her daughter and he knows his way to their house. Just something to think about with these newly turned vampires and how their lives will come to overlap eventually.

While this trait may just be an Ezerbet thing, we don't know, notice how the glowing eyes occur in highly intense emotions surrounding people they love deeply. The Tera example just being stronger to back up this case since she is a recently turned vampire. Eyes are super important in Nocturne for both vampires and humans. Alucard's eyes go bloodshot red like Dracula's when he fully powers up. Maria's eyes go pitch black as she initially summons Seiryuu. Olrox's eyes glow bright green as he spies from Mizrak from his inn room window. Richter's eyes glow icy blue as he fights Drolta and eventually confronts Olrox.

So what does this mean for Mizrak? Again, this will begin to pull into interpretation based on other scenes in the show and how I viewed those. One thing I can say is that Mizrak still "has a mind that can think and a heart that can love" - Olrox S02E01. We need to pull that context from Olrox/Tera's conversation, Tera/Emmanuel's conversation, Ezerbet's demands from Emmanuel, Drolta's night creature transformation, and Alucard's conversation with Maria about Dracula. While there definitely are more conversations that can further strengthen the point I'm making, no matter who you are, monster, vampire, or human, they all have a soul, you are innately the same even after transformation. It is however your choice to indulge in the powers of vampirism and abuse it or stand against its tide. This includes Mizrak now. The choices he makes now are still him. Which why it makes it all the more shocking because the last time we saw him, he was having a crying session, pouring out his heart and soul to Olrox but suddenly now he's quiet and fucking terrifying. We as an audience mentally have to determine which choices he has made. Did he cry after feeding, sobbing over the violence like countless times before or did he indulge in the powers he manifested? Or a third other more complicated idea? I'm not going to say my personal opinion outright to avoid swaying your own because the intention of this shot is to make you question and really dig deep about it.

Also if you're still interested in my personal opinion I feel like it really seeps through in all my fan art and just this informal essay in general. Even then I do have a ton of thoughts about it that are not perceivable in the public eye because, in my brain, their dynamic is so convoluted as individuals LET ALONE THEM PAIRED TOGETHER. The thing is too, multiple different ideas and interpretations co-exist in my brain at the same time so it's really hard to get a proper personal opinion without me just saying "me like Castlevania : Nocturne more than a normal amount."

This is a long shot, it establishes the room they’re in, where the characters are placed and the location. While it is always important, the is colour, character placement and framing is something I’m specifically calling out here.

This is an extremely red room. The colour red is now heavily associated with Mizrak. The only thing that isn’t red is the bed, aka where Olrox is placed. It is green, a colour often associated with him. Often then not, Olrox and Mizrak’s private scenes usually tend to be placed in green environments, giving the sense to the audience of who is higher in the power dynamic. Not only here, that has been changed but with the way the bed frame is placed, it literally boxes Olrox into this section. It makes him appear a lot smaller and appears to take up less space. The roles are swapping. We've already seen this by Olrox joining the fight, and now we have Mizrak accepting vampirism.

This midshot is used to communicate him getting up from the bed and giving Mizrak the same dark stare. It also just gives a reason to see Olrox's torso LOL.

This shot is super vertical which challenges every other shot Olrox has been in because he's been horizontal or laying down the entire time. This and the previous shot is now on par with Mizrak who has been associated with vertical organic lines.

This shot is laced with so much mystery and lack of any conformation because you can also again, interpret as you wish with this shot. That's the allure of it though, that's why people love this shot.

[no image here sorry, curse you 30 image limits]

The next shot I wanted to talk about was the transitional curtain/drapery which is super fun as a way to go between shots. It's a super reminiscence of curtains unveiling a performance on stage or a magician trick behind the curtain to reveal a transformation or something disappearing. What the drapery reveals for the first one is two close ups of Mizrak's new form. His teeth and his dagger-like nails. These are vital to showcase the violent potential of his body. His new weapons.

What's interesting is that Mizrak is growling. Mizrak throughout the entire show harks on about animals, yet he himself has become the thing he's sworn to hate- hell, before his transformation, he literally barks and growled at other people, this is just manifesting it in physical form.

Animals to him (from what I've gathered) are free to follow their heart’s content (which is something Mizrak is yearning, desiring and longing to be like if you think about it), which are not bound by the rules made by mankind. The church's rules appear they are given by God, and the Abbott fights for Him in His name, but these teachings are reinforced by infallible men despite taking vows of obedience, stability and conversatio morum (fidelity to monastic life, which vows of poverty and chastity go under these). Mizrak is blind to the fact he is serving men's idea of God rather than God Himself, but it all begins to unfurl at the seams during season 01 and Mizrak finds himself trying to still cling to it in season 02, but it's just himself now. It is literally just faith as his companion at this point.

Ok Mystery, tell me how this shot of Mizrak’s ass is important. Why incorporeal voice, I’d love to tell you. So I'm not joking when I say this is Mizrak liberating himself from his man-made chains. Nudity, as I stated before, can mean rebirth but it can also represent vulnerability. This literally bares out Mizrak in his entirety, unbound by his uniform, and by his ties to his religion. Vamprisim in a way has led him to accept his other parts of his identity (not fully though because this is Mizrak).

Going off into another media, but it reminds me of Louis from Interview With the Vampire (2022). He comes to terms with his queer identity through being turned into a vampire and if he never got turned, he probably would have died never accepting that part of himself. Honestly, I think that show is very good to overlap its theme with Mizrak and Olrox, and also in general a very visually/narratively-driven strong show, I would highly recommend it.

Okay, let's get back on topic!

They're posed specifically like that to make the silhouette distinctly clear of where they are, but Mizrak and Olrox's poses intrigue me. The way Mizrak's legs wrap around Olrox's thigh and how very intentionally his hand goes to the side of Olrox, especially since we have jumped from two shots of his dagger-like fangs and nails, which appears very violent, yet this is very intimate. Then we have Olrox, whose pose is also very open. It's accepting whatever onslaught hunger Mizrak has. This is strengthened by the contrasting vertical and horizontal lines in this shot as now Olrox is horizontal. He lasted about 5 seconds before being back on the bed.

Another thing is that compositionally, Mizrak is above Olrox and takes up a lot more visual space then him, which places him higher in the power dynamic. Mizrak has never been in that position until now. Olrox is much lower in the composition and most of it is covered up by Mizrak, being placed lower in the power dynamic, which is also a very new thing. This further pushes the new roles they have in this dynamic.

The sound effect for Mizrak landing on the bed isn’t as harsh or violent as I expected despite the appearance of the velocity he was going at in the previous shots. I'm going to take that as intentional because Mizrak looming over Olrox is a parallel to season 01 episode 03. While the sounds are not the same they're way similar. In turn, almost every single shot in this sequence can be tied back to a previous shot in season 01 I'm not kidding. This is why this works so well, everything is coming back.

All those visual parallels can be seen here on my Bluesky!

This one shot is both fucking absolutely terrifying but it also communicates "woah hot" which is great, we need more of that in media. Give me more horror mixed with sexuality in a vampiric context thank youuuu.

This shot moves from a midshot to a close up because Mizrak moves himself. The camera isn’t motivated to move, he is, exactly like Olrox's bite shot. We’re also placed in the position of Olrox. The shot just LINGERS on Mizrak just staring at the camera and it’s just slightly longer then the norm. To me, this reads as if Mizrak is literally eyeing up prey. Terrifying.

The presumption can be made that Mizrak, being newly turned (evidenced by the still-fresh bite marks) needs to feed. Much like how Tera needed to feed off Ezerbet. However, instead of forcing blood into his mouth much like how Ezerbet dribbled blood into Tera, Olrox just lets Mizrak come to him animalistically. This does not strike any fear into him, hell his expression is so muted. Though we never get any close-ups of Olrox's facial expression when Mizrak goes to look at him which is very intentional, we don't get to have a proper read of Olrox's expression and continues to steep this further into mystery, yearning for more information on this scene. This also just ends in another fade to black, Olrox bit Mizrak in the last sequence analyzed, now we can again presume Mizrak is biting him due to this.

This is our last shot of Olrox and Mizrak. It leaves us to question what happened and what will occur in the future. It doesn’t even give us any answers but it lays the foundation for theories and the potential for season 03.

Another thing to note is that Olrox, originally known as Count Olrox/Count Orlok in Castlevania : Symphony of the Night was based on Count Orlok from the gothic film Nosfertau (1992). There's a whole thing where Count Orlok's shadowy hand clasps over Ellen's heart/chest and she reacts quite 'suggestively' to it. This scene is used to comment on the societal taboo of sexuality and indulging in it. This basically kind of happens in this entire sequence, but instead, it's Mizrak's shadow looming over Olrox and it's Mizrak initiating the act. If you apply that lens here, you can engage with the scene as Mizrak letting himself come to terms with his sexuality, a thing he considers taboo and forbidden through vamprisim.

A section of Nosferatu I'm talking about can be viewed here.

And we're done! Apologies for skipped shots and if any of it got really clunky or had any odd grammar. I hope you enjoyed this informal essay discussing episode 08 and I hope you got something out of it! I'm stopping this now before this consumes my brain because I need to hop onto graded studies. This was a very fun study and I hope to do more in the future!

#mystery talks #castlevania nocturne #olrox #mizrak #olrox/mizrak #mizrox #long post #analysis #castlevania #this has been rotting in my mind for two months now and finally got time and the confidence to just write #i literally keep adding to this so I'm going to stop here before it gets longer #fingers crossed that my knowledge on this is percievable in my workkkk #iwtv mention #nosfertau mention

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